Rookie Moms

That’s what WE said! (Winter edition)

2012-02-09T22:39:30Z

Gear that lasts and lasts (giggle): Heather tells us which items in her aresnal of baby products have had the longest lives.
Is it okay to announce a birth on Facebook? (babycenter): Whoever checks Facebook the most frequently will be the first to hear about your new baby, right?
Organizing the kitchen for kids (closet factory): This post seriously needs comments and suggestions. If you have a big kid, please join the conversation!
Forcing motherhood to be more fun (babycenter): Heather describes how following her own advice is tougher than it looks.
5 tips for dating, new parent-style (giggle): Just in time for Valentine’s Day
Great idea: Eventbrite for school events (510families): If you are an organizer of groups and gatherings, you should know about this tool for selling tickets — even if they are free.
Please! No more gadgets! (babycenter): Whitney worries that the next generation will never make eye contact again.
A good idea: Earth Baby compostable diapers (510families): Heather has gone greener with her third baby.
4 easy tips to hosting another family (babycenter): What should you know before you agree to have Heather’s family come stay with you? She shares her wish list.
My life as a blog (blogstar): Heather confesses that her youngest child may have been conceived as blog fodder. MAY have been.
Sh*t urban moms say (babycenter): This one is pretty funny, yo.
Teaching our kids about money: Whitney sums up what she learned at a parenting lecture for those who are concerned about raising a responsible citizen.

On hand-me-downs (with gift card giveaway!)

2012-02-10T22:04:45Z

I’ve become quite adept at claiming hand-me-downs with bambino numero tre. Maternity wardrobe? Yes please. Tiny infant clothes? Sure. Gently-used baby stuff? Don’t mind if I do. I feel truly blessed by my community of moms for paying it forward and I’m happy to do the same.

For the most part, my washing machine does all the dirty work and my family saves hundreds of dollars by not purchasing new gear.

One amazing benefactor, my friend Lisa, a stylish mom of twin boys, has even handed me back some of the cute mini clothes that my older boys wore as babies.

Recently Lisa offered me a well-loved exersaucer-jumper that just needed a little elbow grease. My big guys, armed with a few Q-tips and toothpicks dipped in soap to clean out the crevices, made it shine like new. The washer ate up the gunk on the fabric. Sawyer loves it; Holden and Milo were proud to give it to him.

I later learned that Q-tips Precision Tips could have done the job of both the regular swabs and toothpicks combined. Fortunately, there are many more cleaning tasks in my near future.

We are giving away three $50 gift cards.
Comment about any terrific hand-me-down baby product you’ve either given or received before February 16 and be entered to win a $50 gift card to spend at Amazon.com. We will choose three commenters at random after we close the comments on that day. More rules here.

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Disclosure: this is a sponsored post by Q-tips as part of the Tipster Ambassador program. All opinions, creative ideas, and baby toes are ours.

My very strong opinions about nursing bras

2012-02-09T21:47:01Z

There are many choices of bras with little hooking flaps. How does a rookie mom decide? Allow me to help. With my 30+ months of breastfeeding experience and access to a dozen different kinds of bras, I have a few strong opinions for you.

At a bare minimum, you need three nursing bras. One to sleep in, one for daytime, and one that can do either in a pinch. Here are my personal guidelines on your nursing bra wardrobe:

The sleeping bra. The main job is to keep your breast pads in place. I like the Bravado basic thingie (top) and this bamboo one from bellabumbum (lower). The Bravado has more support but the bellabumbum is barely there and was perfect for the hospital.
The daytime bra. I like this one from Anita but wish that I didn’t buy white because it feels so culinary-school issue. It is comfortable and supportive. There’s also the DIY option nursing bra made from your favorite regular bra.
The specialty bra. Do you need a nursing bra for jogging or swimming? Maybe so. I got a Moving Comfort Fiona sports bra with velcro straps for use during and after my exercise class. Let’s just say that a regular sports bra is very inconvenient for breastfeeding. Picture it.
The sexy one. Whether you want to feel extra pretty during the day or on a date or if you still need to keep pads in place during business time, a sexy bra is a worthwhile purchase. I love this one from Cake. Also, our friend the mominatrix shared her favorites here.
The nursing tank. Ladies, I’m up in the air about tanks and shirts with such a singular focus to the extent that I wrote a nursing top smackdown about just them. In this context, let’s call them optional and move on.

Other hard-earned tips I have for you:

Buy a soft-banded sleep bra before the baby comes around week 37 or so. But wait until about 4-5 weeks afterward to purchase the others. Get fit by a professional if possible. Here is a handy buying guide from consumerreports.org.
Buying a bra online is tricky but possible. Many of the better websites will help you through the process and accept returns.
White is boring and depressing. Nude is also boring and depressing but will show less under white tops. I prefer black and fun colors.
Make sure to jump in your sports bra before purchase. After your six week appointment, of course.
And, anything that can’t be opened and closed with just one hand is bullshit. Try the one-hand closure with each hand.

I’d love to hear what you think, either here or in our Facebook discussion.

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Disclosure: I received some Bravado bras as a gift but bought the rest. All opinions are mine. All pictured boobs are not mine.

Having your own last name is an imaginary problem

2012-02-07T18:54:54Z

While I understand the family pride that some might feel when they refer to themselves as “The Lees” or “The Browns”, I have not been persuaded that changing one’s last name to match her husband’s is important. I did not change mine, and my children have my husband’s last name. (My son has my last name as his middle.)

When I was dating my husband, I never fantasized that his last name would one day become mine. I don’t think that he did either, because he never suggested I start calling myself something else. About half my friends maintained the surnames they were born with after marriage. The tradition of name-changing is simply not one I was interested in continuing, and fortunately, there is no rule that says one has to.

I hear people say that they wanted the same last name as their children so that when they’re in school, there is no problem. Now that I have a first grader, I can say with authority that there is no such issue.

There is always a space on the form for the first and last names of everyone in our family. When I make appointments for my children, I use their names for them, just as I would if mine happened to be the same. When we buy airline tickets, we are seated together because the order is on the same credit card. I have never been asked to prove my relationship to my children in any out-of-the-ordinary manner due to my last name.

So while I have sacrificed the opportunity to purchase a return address label with our family monogram on it, there have been no moments during parenthood where I felt my choice was a bad one.

Do your children have your last name? If not, is it a problem?

Activity #268: Makin’ it: Custom letter art

2012-02-06T04:43:38Z

In a college photography class, Sue Tenerowicz was introduced to letter art. Her assignment that was to go out in the world and find letters that the world created. Then spell something.

She says, “A simple idea, but the concept stuck with me.”

“I’ve always used words in pictures to send a special message. Sometimes, it was a message written in the snow, captured in a photo, and sent to a loved one. Other times it was an “I Love You,” written in the sand to capture a beautiful testament with a glowing sunset on the beach.”

“When my husband, Rob, and I moved back to the Bay Area with our boys, I started noticing the letters that were all around us – like the great H on the span of the Golden Gate Bridge. I kept seeing letters in everything from fences to flowers. It brought me back to that college assignment.”

I want to do this with my kids! I think it would be so much fun to go out on hunts for letters in their names, snap photos and then print them out for a bulletin board or the door of their room. (Although I’m sort of envying my friends who named their kids Max and Ty right now. I don’t know if any of us have the attention span to seek out Julian and Scarlett.)

I used images from Sue's site to make Scarlett's name

Want to try this?
Here are three ways to go (the first being the most hands-on):

Take your children on amazing scavenger hunts until you find (and photograph!) all the letters. Print your photos and choose one of these multi-photo frames to display your masterpiece.
Find your letters on flickr using this fun tool. Print and frame.
Let Sue do all the work for you and buy your chosen word from her on her website SpellItOutPhotos.com

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Letter art not your thing? Choose another fun makin’ it project from our growing list.

Daycare, hurts so good.

2012-02-02T19:00:23Z

Can you hear the baby squawking from where you’re sitting? I can. And it sure is hard to concentrate. Doesn’t he realize that I’m trying to write a blog post about him? Gah.

Okay, that’s better now. Where was I? Oh yes… Sawyer, my sweet baby love, my third boy, is about to head off to daycare and I am conflicted.

On the one hand, I am so relieved to be able to concentrate on work during working hours and not be shushing and nursing my way through conference calls or in-person meetings as I have been doing for the past five months. I am looking forward to trying to cram my work back into the school day rather than the unpredictable minutes of naptime or after bedtime. I am ready for a little bit of quiet. With my work being done during work hours, I’ll be able to better focus on my children during family time.

But then. There’s the other hand, of course. The hand that has gotten so accustomed to loving, bouncing, and comforting a small person every second of the day will be empty again. My almost-definitely-for-sure last baby is taking his first tiny steps out of my nest. Just writing that makes me stick my lower lip out into a frowny pout.

Taken today. Maybe THEY can get him to nap outside of the swing.

I love the childcare place where Sawyer is going. That’s not the problem. Milo, nearly five now, is in his last year of preschool in the same building and has assured me that he will keep an eye out for his little brother in the infant room. Making it even easier to trust the process, Milo started in the very same room with the same teachers when he was a blobby little baldy.

If I were speaking to a new mom friend worried about the daycare transition, I would gently offer that the first two weeks are especially painful for the mom. No matter how many babies she’s had. The baby will thrive in his new environment. I know this. I’ve seen it over and over. I might tell her about the first-day I left Holden with his nanny (also five months old, the very week I returned to work and started this site), and I had to run to the bedroom and cry when she asked me a few too many questions about his basic care.

But still I sit here with my frown, wishing that bitter pill of transition had already started working.

Use scissors to get kids cooking

2012-02-01T05:07:35Z

Reprinted from the wayback machine cuz I’m super busy today.

Holden and I used to cook together a lot. Before his little brother Milo joined our family, Holden would stand by my side at the kitchen sink and crack eggs, stir with a whisk, or rip greens for a salad. Unfortunately, I must confess, I now put the two of them in front of a 25 minute kid show while I race to get dinner together most nights. So I was a perfect candidate for this lesson a few weeks ago.

Holden and Shayna cooking at Eat Real Fest

At the Oakland Eat Real Festival, an amazing event aimed at helping folks “put the food back into fast,” Holden cooked on stage as part of the children’s cooking demo. Along with 3 other children, he helped make “Scissor salsa salad” under the guidance of Shayna Marmar.

Shayna is a from-scratch cooking teacher-extraordinaire. She started Honeypie Cooking & Events in Oakland to bring fresh, seasonal, and delicious foods back into our kitchens.

Scissor Salsa Salad, all kid-made

As she was leading the children through food preparation, Shayna talked about eating fresh real whole foods as often as possible. We sat on hay bales as she encouraged us to get our children more involved in the creation of their meals. She has seen many parents who said their children hated veggies eat their words while their kids ate salad for the first time.

I emailed her after the event to find out if she had any tips for the Rookie Moms who want to cook more with children, and she told us to get out the safety scissors:

While safety scissors are not generally thought of as a cooking tool, they work great in helping kids of all ages cut various fruits and vegetables. Keep a pair in your kitchen drawer, specifically for cooking, and your child will instantly be able to assist with food preparation tasks without the use of a sharp knife.

Help your child along by cutting the fruits and vegetables into slices/strips beforehand. Foods that can be cut with safety scissors include tomatoes, bell peppers, apples, peaches, cabbage, and cucumbers, among others.

She offered a ton of great hacks for getting kids involved in cooking; here are a few other tips I picked up from the demo:

Leave your perfectionism at the door; better that the food products are kid-made than perfect.
Do rough cut prep in advance so kids can avoid a lot of waiting time as well as large knives on counters.
Think about what foods can be torn by small hands: lettuce, herbs, bread…
For safer cutting, have a pair of kids’ safety scissors dedicated for use on food (see above) or use a butter knife for other foods that won’t easily fit in the scissors.
Mashing out some tortillas

Don’t have a rolling pin? Wash some tools from the play-doh kit or use a cleaned can. Let kids use their hands to pound out dough and smash out tortillas.
During the final tasting, ask kids “what would you change next time? what would you add more/less of?” to get them thinking and engaged in the process. Holden said “more tomatoes,” a big boy said “more spicy,” the little girl said “just right,” and the big girl refused to taste it. (can’t please everyone!)

Taste test, hmmm more tomatoes please

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I want to thank Shayna for sharing her tips with us!

Shayna offers cooking classes & parties for older children, teens, adults, and families as well as workshops for teachers & parents highlighting tips & tricks for involving children in the process of preparing and eating wholesome and tasty foods.

She can also turn your next kids birthday party into a healthy cooking party, emphasizing fun in the kitchen. How brilliant is that?! She also blogs at Peas and Carrots 123.

The payoff has arrived

2012-01-31T21:27:22Z

I grew up next door to a boy one year older than me. His parents hosted my baby shower, a co-ed barbecue that he attended with his wife and their one-year old son. At the shower, my childhood friend, now a dad and a recent business school graduate, spoke these words of wisdom to me and Ryan: First three months, no ROI.

It is true.

There is not a lot of return on your investment in a baby in the first couple of months. You endure physical pain, hormonal intensity, and a fair amount of overtime, weekends and holidays included. Finally, after a couple of months, the tiny paychecks start to trickle in. Baby smiles. Plumper cheeks to kiss. Eye contact.

Yes! This is what I signed up for!

And from where I sit now, I am rolling in the dough. I am drawing a full salary with these two walking and talking kids, who make the most mundane of tasks an adventure. Sometimes, a laugh riot.

Truths that were unveiled to me yesterday:

Brushing your teeth is more fun when you place a towel over your head to block your vision.

Placing coins in a parking meter is a thrill.

Getting your own spoon out of the drawer is cause for boastful announcements. “I can reach it myself!”

Kicking one’s small legs to the beat of Moves Like Jagger as we drive through the dark, sudsy tunnel of the carwash is a 3-minute party.

Being allowed to bring your two favorite books to preschool is no small delight.

Though the whining and bickering — still daily — can bring me down, it feels really good to think about all the dull things I do on a regular basis and how much more I enjoy them through the eyes of Julian and Scarlett. That joy is the return on my investment.

As part of a series sponsored by Hallmark, we’ll be posting monthly about the idea that beyond birthdays, Valentine’s day, and Christmas, everyday life is a special occasion, worth recording and reflecting on. Like it? Here’s another take from DesignHerMomma.

Makin’ it: Wipeable art table

2012-01-30T05:07:21Z

For many years, when I watched HGTV, I would tell myself that if only I had a staple gun, I would be reupholstering stuff left and right. And then my husband bought me a staple gun for Christmas two years ago. Twenty-five months later — yesterday — I used it for the first time.

We have had this little art table for the kids since Julian was about two. My sister bought it at Michael’s, painted it, and decoupaged it with pages from Goodnight Moon. It was cute, but the paper layer didn’t last. A couple years after, Ryan scraped the pages off, sanded it, and sprayed it with chalkboard paint.

Everything I’ve seen online with chalkboard paint seems so charming, but the reality is that the chalk dust makes a mess if it’s the surface of an indoor table. Chalk in a dining room = not so good. Also? Here’s how the chalkboard painted surface looked after a while.

Covering this table with oilcloth makes it easy to clean, perfect for art projects and snacking. It’s a kid-sized table, coming up just above my knee. I cut the cloth and stapled the edges down. That’s it.

Oilcloth (or laminated cotton in some cases) comes in so many fun patterns. This etsy store is full of them.

Stapling not going to happen? Just throw the oil cloth on the floor and have the kids get messy there.

This project idea is part of our Makin’ It series, weekly posts with ideas for things you can make. Baby too young for this one? Check the list of DIY ideas for a Makin’ It project you like.

Flashback Friday: 10 years ago today

2012-01-27T18:58:48Z

Ten years ago, Whitney and I ran the San Francisco Half Marathon with another friend. We were fairly fit in those days between running and biking but doing a half marathon was no easy feat.

Look how grainy pictures were ten years ago. That's me, Whit, and Ann

On that fateful day, I met the man who would become RookieDad Alec. A mutual friend introduced us shortly after this photo was taken. Since I was sort of in the middle of something (Umm, excuse me, I’m busy running here! Who cares about your friend?!), I didn’t pay a whole lot of attention to that cute guy. We officially met a few days later.

Giveaway: Pretty slings by upa-lala

2012-02-05T00:43:48Z

While I do love gender-neutral baby gear, there’s something really sweet about these pretty slings (that my husband would not wear) from independent seamstress Brittan Hlista, owner and designer of upa-lala. I’m thinking when your base layer is a tshirt and dull-from-too-many-washings yoga pants, these vibrant patterns could really distract the eye!

(Note to sling-makers of the world: We need to see newborn mama models with bigger post-pregnancy tummies, please! Or maybe she’s an adoptive mom?)

Regardless, aren’t these lovely?

(Also, rest assured that these slings comply with baby carrier safety standards governed by the Baby Carrier Industry Alliance.)

Brittan also makes eco-friendly waterproof snack bags and drawstring backpacks in bright fabrics.

Find the giveaway after the jump.

Browse the upa-lala website to see the whole product assortment. Really cute stuff!

Use the LIKE button on the product detail page to give your favorites a thumbs up, and then let us know which pattern you Liked. Enter your comment below.

On Wednesday, February 1, 2012, I will select a winner at random, per our giveaway rules, to win a sling and a reusable bag. One entry per adult human please.

P.S. “Upa”, or even cuter, “Upalala” is what little kids say in Argentina when they raise their arms up to be carried.

If you named your baby after your pregnancy craving…

2012-01-26T20:17:58Z

What would his or her name be? I read this thread in my babycenter birth club and I just about peed my pants laughing so hard. I tended toward sweet indulgences each time and I had no idea that Taco Bell was such a popular craving food.

My son Sawyer would have to be called Cereal because Cracklin’ Oat Bran is too long (though it goes better with our last name).

My son Milo would have to be Watermelon. Although, at various times, they could have all been named watermelon.

My son Holden would probably have been named Guinness for the unlikely beer preference that started with him. Heck, I didn’t even like the stuff before I was pregnant (so much so that I drank lemonade rather than free beer on my Guinness Factory tour in Dublin). Another possibility is Pumpkin Pie.

So tell me, mamas, what would your baby have been named if after your pregnancy cravings? Cheetos? Milkshake?