THE DAILY DROID

The Way Life Shouldn't Be

2026-10-19T21:55:40.820-04:00

During a recent televised debate between the two candidates running for Senator in the state of Maine, the Democrat (Troy Jackson) said to the Republican (Susan Collins), "Oh, shut up!" That's what it's come to in America's Vacationland, where the state motto is, "The Way Life Should Be." Only it's pretty much the opposite lately, and not just in Maine.

Civility is a thing of the past, along with lots of other things that made life in America great, or at least more fun. Today I went into a CVS store and was saddened to see that the Halloween merchandise shared an entire aisle with the Christmas merchandise. I can remember when they were two separate holidays, each with their own special feeling and excitement. Now it's just different colored candies and wrapping paper, and they drag everything out at the same time just to make it easier on everyone.

I won't bother listing all the rest of what's wrong these days, since everyone is all too aware. Let's just say that our menu options have definitely changed, and all of the staff is busy helping other customers.

Dumbing Down

2026-10-18T05:57:49.069-04:00

Sometimes it's embarrassing to be a human. Other species seem so much more intelligent, spending their allotted days on Earth looking for food, building their homes and enjoying nature, while so many humans waste their lives gossiping, spending money on total junk, overeating garbage and hurting others.

This morning I read an article, or part of it, about what the deceased actress Marilyn Monroe had as her last meal, 62 years ago. I don't know if it was written by A.I. or an actual person, but the comments that followed it came from real people who were hotly divided on whether she ate at a Mexican buffet in a restaurant or was it takeout she ordered and ate at home, and whether it included champagne or not.

Where and when did we go wrong? Here in Maine, stupidity has reached new heights with the current "sign wars" between the two political parties. Retaliating against a sign that has popped up statewide saying "STOP FRAUD, VOTE REPUBLICAN," the witless Dems have rushed out and posted signs that say, "STOP FRAUD, VOTE DEMOCRAT."

As I said, it's embarrassing.

Tit For Tat In Maine Politics

2026-10-12T07:09:58.837-04:00

Here in Maine, long considered the ultimate autumn getaway offering fabulous foliage and luscious lobster, war has broken out between supporters of the two major parties vying for control of the state. The weapon of choice: political signs printed on cardboard and posted on every available patch of land allowable by law.

This is nothing new, since political posters first appeared in the 1820s during the presidential campaign of John Quincy Adams. In Maine, the ubiquitous signs dotting neighborhood lawns and crowding one another at major intersections are common. In the past they featured the name of a candidate with their chosen slogan and party affiliation. But this year things have gotten rougher, with nasty moves by party leaders turning the posting of political signs into a poisonous conflict.

Take, for example, a standard Susan Collins lawn sign, which simply states that she is "our senator" -- which she has been for 22 years. She's up for re-election this year and the Determined Dems want her out. Not content to just remove or deface her signs, they've gone a step further and actually printed smaller signs which they post directly in front of and below her name, to read that she "ACCEPTS BRIBES" or "FUNDS ICE."

In retaliation, a small army of conservatives have countered with their own signs which read, "STOP FRAUD, VOTE REPUBLICAN." These have sprung up all over Maine seemingly overnight, causing outright hysteria among the lefties who have taken to Reddit to post their dismay, hurling insults at their opponents like hand grenades.

So far things haven't gotten violent, but if you're planning on leaf-peeping in this neck of the woods, you might consider replacing that fleece vest with one that's bullet-proof.

On Doing Nothing

2026-10-08T17:01:22.276-04:00

I am deep into a period of doing nothing and have been for awhile. In fact, I can sit and do nothing for hours at a time, much of it spent wondering if doing something is better than doing nothing.

I have done so many things in the past that have, in the end, mattered not one bit -- to anyone else and even to me -- that's it's hard to feel bad about doing nothing.

So many jobs taken, so many deadlines met, so many turkeys stuffed and laundry folded and paintings shown and presents wrapped and important functions not to be late for. Now I have little reason to be on time anywhere.

This time will pass, I'm guessing. Until then, there's always another painting waiting for more paint.

Maine's Uncivil War

2026-10-07T12:56:19.868-04:00

Average Maine Democrat.

Reporting from Freeport, Maine, I have a front-row view of all the nasty action taking place in this war-torn state, especially since my husband is a General in the Republican Army. As the Town Chair of the "Susan Collins for Senator" campaign, Mitch has his hands full trying to keep the Collins lawn signs he and his soldiers have installed from being removed, defaced or completely destroyed.

Just yesterday one of the signs was found on the ground, torn to pieces. It followed the MO of the typical Democrat around these parts: someone impossible to reason with because of their blind allegiance to The Party. These are, after all, the very same people who voted for Kamala Harris for president, if you can wrap your head around that one, and would vote for Socialist wacko Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, should she make a run for it in 2028.

Putting it plainly, most Mainers are mean -- in fact they should be called Meaners -- and the Democrats are the worst of the lot. A perfect example can be found on Hupper Island, an idyllic car-free refuge 90 miles north of Portland. About two dozen families spend their summers there, and Chief Justice John G. Roberts Jr. has been one of them for the past 20 years. Until recently he was a good friend to all the other islanders, helping them out in times of need and partying together at the Independence Day annual picnic.

Not anymore. These days Roberts is shunned by all, with some people insulting him publicly. One particularly vindictive woman has taken to kayaking back and forth in front of his island getaway with a sign that reads "Justice For All," inferring that he is responsible for justice for none because of his Supreme Court decisions impacting abortion, immigrants and transgenders.

Maine's state's slogan is, "The Way Life Should Be." That's definitely outdated. Instead it should be, "Life Our Way or Get The Fuck Out."

When A.I. Gets It Wrong

2026-10-05T08:48:30.237-04:00

I was skeptical from birth, and it's only gotten worse since then. Of course scrolling the Internet has exacerbated my condition exponentially, until today I believe nothing I hear or read, especially in a newspaper or online.

This morning this headline caught my eye on an online news site: "This New England beach town is an affordable alternative to the Hamptons." Since I live in New England and have visited the Hamptons on vacation more than once, I clicked. Alas, the story was riddled with errors. The supposed "beach town" in New England is not only NOT a beach town but it isn't in New England, not even close.

Turned out the story was about Shelter Island, out on the end of Long Island in New York. And to make matters worse, it is not affordable at all, unless you are extremely wealthy. It is beautiful, I've been there a few times but never thought of it as a "beach town." It's not at all as descried in the article that is printed as factual on a news website.

The other day I saw a video of a dance number in which Judy Garland was identified as Ann Reinking. The only thing those two have in common is they are both dead.

Shoot To Kill (Just Ask Tony)

2026-10-01T08:01:11.932-04:00

Tony Soprano at target practice.

Officials of the U. S. penal system should all take a few weeks off to watch The Sopranos. It would make their jobs so much easier and cost efficient, not to mention it's damn good entertainment.

Yesterday the state of Tennessee tried to execute a woman who murdered someone 30 years ago, simply because she "felt mean" that day. (She slashed her victim's throat and crushed her skull with a rock, keeping a piece of it as a souvenir.) Imprisoned since then, finally the day came when they were to rid society of the soulless monster they had been feeding, clothing, housing and caring for over the last three decades, at the taxpayer's expense.

They strapped her to a gurney and began injecting some chemical cocktail into her veins intended to shut down her organs, only it didn't work. She continued to breathe and could be heard snoring. So they wrapped her up and sent her to a local hospital, where I suppose they will make her well enough to try killing her again.

If only they had watched The Sopranos they would know that you can end a life in a nano-second with a bullet to the head, or maybe the heart. Bada-bing, it's over -- no fuss, no mess. (Well, some mess.)

Jesus, who's in charge around here?

Don't Point At Black People

2026-09-30T13:14:28.991-04:00

Basketball player A'ja (not to be confused with Aja) Wilson signed a three-year, $5,000,000 contract with the Las Vegas Aces, earning an average annual salary of $1,666,667. In 2026 she will earn a base salary of $1,400,000, "while carrying a cap hit of $1,400,000 and a dead cap value of $5,000,000," whatever that means.

She gets all this money for running around a gymnasium dribbling a big bouncy ball and tossing it into a high, rimmed net every so often. Pretty nice gig, if you ask me. But wait, there's a downside: She will not tolerate anyone pointing at her! After all, she is black and we know that black lives matter, and pointing at someone must mean they don't matter. Right?

A'ja cries after the pointing.

Uh, no, that's not right. Okay, so being pointed at must hurt. Nope, there's no physical contact. So then what's the problem? Wilson recently had a cow because a white, male fan in the stands stood up and pointed at her after a player on the opposing team was cited with a foul, indicating it should have been her foul.

A'ja was outraged and said later in a news conference that she "doesn't put up with that shit. It's unacceptable." So to be on the safe side, white people shouldn't point at black people, ever. Apparently they don't like it.

10 Things About Coffee

2026-09-29T11:00:28.678-04:00

Today is National Coffee Day. Not sure what that means, but I am having a cup of coffee right now as I write this so I suppose I am doing my part to celebrate. The following statements are the sum total of my thoughts on coffee:

1. I get out of bed in the morning to drink coffee. It is my main motivation.

2. People who don't drink coffee cannot be trusted. What's wrong with them?

3. I take my coffee black and immediately like people who do the same.

4. People who add cream and sugar to their coffee are not adults. They are having a baby drink, which BTW adds hundreds of calories to their diets over time.

5. If a doctor told me I had to stop drinking coffee I would get a new doctor.

6. Patrons of Starbucks who order specialty drinks like Spiced Pumpkin Lattes or Chai Tea Mochas or God Knows What Double Frappuccinos are posers.

7. I prefer American coffee to coffee in any foreign country I have visited, including all of Europe, Canada and Haiti.

8. Coffee does not keep me up at night.

9. Decaf coffee is almost always gross and instant coffee is truly despicable.

10. Coffee should always be brewed using freshly ground beans.

I'm Not Crazy

2026-09-28T08:52:15.640-04:00

Not all Furries are cuddly!

I may be a lot of things, but crazy isn't one of them. I am judgmental, sarcastic and often depressed. I suffer from hyper-empathy and a firm belief that I know better than most people how to do things the right way, but as a native New York Jew surrounded by many Mainers who proudly declare they have never left the state, it's likely the case. And oh yes, I can be imperious.

But, as I say in the title, I am not crazy. And you know who is? Furries who identify as animals, and not just animals but stuffed animals, and transgenders who think they can undo God's work, and Maine's elected leaders who have chosen to distribute clean needles to heroin addicts and Narcan nasal sprays to opiate users to avoid an overdose. (That's called enabling, by the way.)

Again With Oprah's Favorite Mascara

2026-09-25T05:17:01.865-04:00

Sitting in my kitchen at 4:30 in the morning, having been awakened half an hour ago by my 19-year-old Maine Coon who is slowly fading away and wants something I cannot give him, which is his youth and vigor, trying to ignore the throbbing underneath the huge bandage covering my nose as a result of Mohs surgery to remove basal carcinoma cells three days ago, I am confronted with a woman lauding Oprah's favorite mascara on my cell phone.

I wonder, if I were to buy some would my cat get younger? Would the incision on my nose heal sooner than the 12 weeks I was told to expect? How, exactly, would it benefit me? And if it wouldn't, why do they keep hawking it?

Celebrity endorsements have always mystified me. This one's favorite lasagna recipe, that one's favorite bedroom slippers -- it goes on and on. Does anyone think that using a product with a movie star's name attached will improve their lot in life? And if so, who are those people? How does someone get that way?

My cat, and I say my cat but really he is my son's cat who we took in 16 years ago "for a few months" until he got situated, sits at the door, desperate to go out into the darkness where there might be rabid raccoons, or foxes, or bats, according to the local neighborhood chat page online, but I remain unmoved. I wonder, would Oprah's favorite mascara make him feel better? Maybe I should order some.

Some Things Are Built To Last

2026-09-24T09:59:48.329-04:00

Amy's spirit lives on in our food processor!

Next month my husband and I will celebrate our 40th anniversary. Joining us will be our Braun food processor, which we received as a wedding gift. That might not seem worth mentioning, but believe me it's remarkable, since over the 40 years of our marriage we have had to replace our washing machine four times, our dryer five times, two microwaves, a couple of stoves, a furnace, two refrigerators, perhaps a dozen electric coffee pots, several toasters, a toaster oven and a dishwasher.

When we called a repairman for our dryer a few years ago, he bluntly said it was not fixable, adding that, "These days appliances are built to last between six and eight years." When the fan in our built-in microwave stopped working, we learned that they don't make that part anymore, forcing us to install a whole new unit.

So you see, our Braun food processor is a champ. It has gotten constant use bordering on abuse, considering the number of cookies, cakes, pies, soups and stews it has been called upon for chopping, grinding, pureeing and mashing for 39 Thanksgivings and Passovers, countless birthdays and too-many-to-count platters of guacamole, hummus, eggplant salad and spinach dip with nary a break in the action.

Sadly, our dear friend Amy who gave us the food processor died two years ago, but her generous gift is still going strong. Kudos to Braun: those Germans certainly know how to do things right, even when they're doing something terribly wrong.

The Truth About Mohs Surgery

2026-09-23T08:10:12.395-04:00

"Oh, it's nothing," they all said. "They just scrape a tiny bit of tissue and then look at it under a microscope, you barely feel it," they all said. "Then they scrape a little more, until they get it all. It's no big deal."

Wrong. Sometimes it is a big deal. Like in my case, where the surgeon must have used a melon baller to eradicate the basal carcinoma cells from the bridge of my nose.

That was yesterday. Today, with my gradually blackening right eye half-shut and a giant bandage covering most of my nose, I look like I was in the ring with Mike Tyson and guess who won. And yes, it hurts.

Just sayin'.

Jew Hatred Is Unfounded

2026-09-22T14:03:13.470-04:00

I have been impacted by crime eight times. The incidents are listed below.

1. I was kidnapped at the age of four (by a white woman).

2. I was mugged by four young (black) men in a supermarket parking lot while making a call inside a pay phone cubicle. They roughed me up and stole my money, about $19.00.

3. My car was stolen by, according to several witnesses, a (black) man.

4. A (black) teenager attempted to enter my apartment at night from the fire escape but ran off when the police, who I summoned, arrived.

5. A close friend and his wife were murdered inside their home by two (black) men in a robbery gone wrong.

6. My high-school aged son was beaten by a group of (Hispanic) youths and had to be hospitalized.

7. While shopping in Macy's during a trip to NYC, the strap of my shoulder bag was cut with scissors by an older black lady (according to the store detectives who cited her as part of a shoplifting ring they had been following for years), leaving me stranded with nothing.

8. A pregnant friend and her husband were terrorized inside their ground-floor apartment by two young (black) men who entered through an open window. She was raped and he was tied up and forced to watch.

None of these crimes were committed by Jews. Yet Jews, who have contributed so much to the world in the areas of science, literature, business, medicine, technology and the arts, are now the objects of hatred in the world, scorned and mistreated and even hurt or killed, while black people are treated as objects of pity, deserving of money for their ancestors' past mistreatment, and given government handouts of food, housing, daycare and rent reductions.

Can you name a time a Jew hurt you? And when was the last time you had a bagel? (Invented by Jews.)

The Ultimate Win-Win

2026-09-21T20:03:51.662-04:00

I have trouble believing that every single doctor's office is experiencing a higher than usual call volume, even at the exact moment they open at eight in the morning. And that every one of them has just changed their menu, so you have to listen carefully. And that every one of them considers your call very important. And that all of their staff are busy helping other callers. I just don't buy any of it.

Due to an unfortunate series of events, I have been hearing that shit a lot lately, followed by weird music for long periods of being on hold. It's made me pretty sour on the entire medical profession. Growing up, I saw doctors as gods, and now I see them as devils. Who has changed -- them or me?

Doctors, lawyers, and even dentists don't seem to have our best interests front and center. Last week I had a cavity filled for $350 and afterwards the dentist said that if that tooth started to hurt it likely would have to be pulled, at an even higher price no doubt. So why fill it?

IMO, the only people you can trust to actually do their best for you are personal trainers. They succeed when you succeed, so naturally they want you to. It's the ultimate win-win.

AOL: The New Kama Sutra?

2026-09-18T11:45:03.859-04:00

I have long wondered just what is missing from society these days. Being a front-edge Baby Boomer, of course I am now old enough to have seen it all. But still I'm surprised almost daily by the depravity all around that is apparently acceptable to the younger generations.

I've almost gotten over the wearing of shorts and flip-flops to the theater. I'm no longer amazed at seeing people wearing pajamas and bedroom slippers in supermarkets and on airplanes. And general personal grooming seems very unimportant circa 2026, at least here in Maine. Still, I can be shocked, and this morning was one of those times.

Logging onto AOL to check my email, along with the usual meaningless schlock stories was an article about "a new way" to have oral sex with your partner, detailing an advanced approach to the traditional "69" position. I didn't click since I've read the Kama Sutra and I doubt A.I. can top that, but the promo promised detailed instructions and illustrations. (How nice for the children.)

Then it hit me: What's missing these days is dignity. There's no trace of it anywhere, certainly not in the Super Bowl half-time spectacles where crotch-grabbing and ass-thrusting are de rigueur. Or at the Emmy or Oscar award shows, where showing as much skin while still technically clothed has risen to an art. If someone claims to be offended, they are instantly mocked and labeled a "Karen" -- or worse.

For those young people who may be reading this who are unfamiliar with the very word, here's what it means:

dignity /dĭg′nĭ-tē/ noun

The quality or state of being worthy of esteem or respect.

Inherent nobility and worth.

Poise and self-respect.

The American Heritage® Dictionary of the English Language, 5th Edition

A.I. Stands for Actually Idiotic

2026-09-17T13:56:36.112-04:00

Here's how dumb the Internet is. And by "Internet" I mean whoever or whatever makes things happen to your Facebook page or your email stream -- I certainly have no idea. All I know is that if technology is supposedly going to outsmart humans, it's got a long way to go.

For example: I recently purchased a pair of bedroom slippers I saw in a Facebook ad. Since that day I have received roughly ten ads per day for strikingly similar bedroom slippers. Now, having only two feet, why would I want any more of those? It makes more sense that my name would be crossed off the list for bedroom slippers. That's what a human being in charge of such things would do.

So I'm not worried about A.I. bringing about mankind's destruction. Rather, I think it's the other way around, and I hope it happens quick.

A Royal Pain In The Ass

2026-09-16T16:20:22.372-04:00

The King and Queen, all ready for Halloween

I did not get up in the middle of the night all those years ago to watch Prince Charles marry Princess Diana like all my gay friends did, including my boss at the time who stayed home the next day because he was exhausted. I'll admit that Diana's car crash was pretty exciting, and then Charles marrying Camilla caught my attention, mostly because all of England hated her but he married her anyway. But those days are gone and now it's just boring sitcom crap, day after annoying day.

England's Royal Family has never interested me, even when I spent two weeks over there last year. I had a great time but I did not visit royal palaces or see any changing of any guards. So naturally I am getting really tired of all the stories online about Princes Harry and William, one of whom is no longer a prince, and Kate Middleton and Meghan and their little ones like Lisbeth and little George, all of them dressed up in their silly outfits for special occasions.

Yet for reasons unknown to me, editors and publishers think Americans are fascinated by what Fergie is up to these days or if Prince Andrew -- again, not a prince anymore -- really is a pederast who hung out on Epstein Island. Meghan Markel (or is it Markle) is in our faces all the time, maybe because she is part black and so that makes her story more compelling, what with its racist overtones.

Well guess what. None of it is interesting, at least not to normal Americans who have so many other meaningless celebrities to dote on, like Taylor Swift and Travis and the Kardashian crew and plenty more I've never heard of. I say let's keep all the news about the Royals across the pond. Who's with me?

Okay, So Maybe Trump Is Nuts

2026-09-15T09:52:42.909-04:00

Secretary of State Marco Rubio

I am a Republican because I am not a fool. That being said, I can clearly see that President Trump is slowly sliding off his rocker. His whole re-naming of things is certifiable. Lake America? Oh, please. He needs some sort of therapy, be it shock, talk or pharmaceutical, and quick.

But I remain loyal to the party because of its beneficial policies that Marco Rubio, Mike Johnson, Ted Cruz and Josh Hawley articulate so well, whereas Democrats AOC, Bernie Sanders, Ilhan Omar, Elizabeth Warren, Kamala Harris and Gavin Newsom are total nut-jobs endorsing ridiculous beliefs. (For example, men can have babies, free Palestine, Socialism is great.)

So while The Donald continues to tweet nonsense and slap his name on things, I will keep my eye on the future when President Rubio brings back sanity to a united America.

A.I. Is Coming For You

2026-09-14T12:32:04.570-04:00

From the minute I first heard about A.I., which stands for Artificial Intelligence, I was worried. How could that be something good? The very word "artificial" is a negative, meaning something that is fake, imitation or a sham. So from the get-go I've been a non-supporter.

Sadly, my husband loves A.I. His best friends are Grok, Gemini and ChatGPT. He consults with them constantly and takes their words as gospel. When I tell Mitch he's part of the problem, he checks to see if Grok agrees. Apparently it's too late for him -- he's hooked.

Now, finally, our leaders of government and industry are worried. Warnings are everywhere -- on TV, in newspapers, online -- about how A.I. could ruin mankind in as little as ten years. Companies who produce the wicked stuff are being implored to slow things down in order to avert certain disaster. Meanwhile, countries including China and Russia are going full steam ahead, and according to President Trump the US must beat them at this game! Not sure what "beating them" entails, but it can't be good.

It's funny how humans keep inventing things to bring about their own downfall. Excuse me while I go chop some vegetables on my plastic cutting board, thus ingesting little bits of plastic that will ultimately kill me far sooner than my eventual A.I. robot-ordered annihilation.

Orphaned Elephants

2026-09-12T11:53:19.274-04:00

I like to give money to worthy causes. My favorites are those having to do with the health of children, so I donate to various children's hospitals and disease research programs. I am also partial to animals, so some of my money is earmarked for the ASPCA and a particular cat sanctuary in Hawaii.

Veterans of war don't get my money since I am a pacifist. Besides, what did they expect would go on when they went to a foreign country bent on killing total strangers for wearing different uniforms? Parties every night and brunch on Sunday?

I also don't fix children who need that euphemistic "smile surgery." I agree it's terrible that they are born with their upper lip half-gone, and I hope other people help them, but I'm not going to. Sue me.

I also will reject the plea for aid I got in the mail today to support orphaned elephants. While I know that baby elephants are very adorable and if they lose their mommies that's sad, especially since they never forget, but still, that's a bridge too far. What about all the orphaned humans? There are plenty of them and yet I've never received a plea to help them out. Surely they must need things too.

So, for me it's a "No" to the elephants and a "Yes" to the kitties. You can see what they're up to at lanaicatsanctuary.org.

What's That Third Sex Called?

2026-09-10T16:34:30.140-04:00

Okay, so there are males, females and ... what else? What should we call them? Somebody should come up with a word for it.

This morning at a doctor's office I had a conversation with a nurse about an upcoming medical procedure. The person was either a man who had changed into a woman or a woman who had changed into a man, I couldn't tell.

I know it's not supposed to matter and people are people and blah, blah, blah, unless of course we are about to have sex with them, but still it's disturbing and more than a little distracting. I'm pretty sure I missed some important instructions while I was busy trying to figure out if it was a he or a she. Either way, their final outcome was not good since I noticed.

So what can we call them? Shemales? That might work. Anyway, I suppose over time we will all just take it for granted that we have three sexes here on Earth. Until then, I remain puzzled.

MRI Mind Games

2026-09-10T08:40:25.323-04:00

It's been a long time since I had a new experience. Been there, done that describes most of what I find myself engaged in. So it was somewhat interesting, despite being hellish and dreadful, to undergo a cardiac MRI, which I did recently.

I won't bother with the details -- just ask Grok or Gemini or ChatGPT. Suffice it to say that at the start of the 45-minute procedure, it sucked. Stuck in a tight tube, unable to move or, God forbid, scratch an itch, my mind turned into a sewer of fear, panic, distress and loathing. I immediately wanted out, but I knew that would be self-defeating, especially since my husband and I had just driven more than two hours, some of it through agonizing rush-hour Boston traffic, to get myself in.

Sleep would have been a welcome escape, but with a cardiac MRI that's impossible since you've got a job to do. Every few minutes a distant voice intoned: "Please breathe in. Breathe out, and hold your breath." Then after a period ranging from four to perhaps 19 seconds, the voice said, "Please resume breathing." Far too soon, it came again.

After about 20 minutes of thinking surely this is Hell, how did I get here, when will this end, I can't stand it another second, I hit upon a great idea that turned the whole thing into a lark. What if I thought of myself as an astronaut instead of a patient with a potentially devastating heart problem? Yeah, that's it -- I'm training for my next mission to Pluto or whatever, somewhere the air is thin. And not only that, but I'm getting paid a lot of money to do it! Suddenly the whole thing wasn't so bad. In fact, it was sort of fun. And when it did end, part of me was a tad disappointed. Just when I was getting into it!

Turns out I don't have the terrible disease after all. And although I'm not an astronaut, I came away knowing that instead of my mind playing tricks on me, I can play tricks on it, whenever I need to.

Good to know.

Oprah's Mascara

2026-09-08T07:19:18.585-04:00

A video advertisement on my Facebook page showed a woman proclaiming excitedly, "This is Oprah's favorite mascara and she put it on her list of favorite things!" This brought to mind so many questions:

1. Who cares what Oprah likes?

2. Why is Oprah even wearing mascara? Isn't that something young women use to make them more attractive when they are seeking a mate? Oprah is 72 and has been in longtime relationships with her cover story, Steadman Graham, and her girlfriend Gayle King. She no longer needs to bat her eyelashes and I doubt she even wears mascara.

3. If I wore the stuff and I bought Oprah's favorite mascara, would I get rich like her? What, exactly, would I gain by using it instead of someone else's favorite mascara?

4. What is mascara anyway?

This is what makes the Internet great. It is so thought-provoking.

Online Commenters Are the Worst

2026-09-07T11:24:20.589-04:00

Instagram is full of stuff you might like, and some you might hate. I scroll right past ads trying to sell me something, photos of very fat women in skimpy attire, bad comics and all videos of an AI Donald Trump doing anything. What stops me cold are dance videos. Love those! John Travolta's disco scenes in Saturday Night Fever and Gregory Hines doing any tap number anywhere, anytime.

I recently came across a video of Bob Fosse, the great choreographer, doing a dance number in a 1974 film version of "The Little Prince," wherein he plays a character called The Snake. (See photos above.) Dressed in a black suit, with white spats, gloves and black top hat, naturally who comes to mind but Michael Jackson! But wait: he dances exactly like Michael Jackson in Thriller, which was released in 1982. He even moonwalks!

Okay, so MJ has stated he was "influenced" by Fosse. But this is downright plagiarism. (See it for yourself, just Google it.) More interesting are the comments following the video, some defending Michael and others saying he stole the whole routine. But one comment really got my goat: "Michael wouldn't steal anything from this loser!"

Somebody somewhere, likely sitting in front of their computer eating pizza, probably a tattooed, unemployed, out of shape nobody, called Bob Fosse "a loser." This cracked me up and pissed me off at the same time. Here's a tiny excerpt of Fosse's very lengthy Wikipedia entry:

"At the 1973 Academy Awards, Fosse won the Academy Award for Best Director for Cabaret. That same year he won Tony Awards for directing and choreographing Pippin and Primetime Emmy Awards for producing, choreographing and directing Liza Minnelli's television special Liza With a Z. Fosse was the only person to win all three major industry awards in the same year."

The Internet is the gutter.