Round The Back

S2E65: Too Much Neck

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 06 Jan 2023 15:38:54 +0000

It’s the last episode of the series/season! No one really reads these, but thank you to everyone who has listened, shared and contributed over the years. Keep an eye out for more to come from RTB…..

S2E64: A Nice Opening

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 07 Dec 2022 21:27:34 +0000

This week Joe and Dave learn that you can be baptised at a flooded roundabout, some things are named after footballers, and Mike Ashley could be the worst landlord in Coventry. And we ask: is petting allowed at Ruel Fox’s animal sanctuary?

S2E63: Ketchup and Butter

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 24 Nov 2022 21:59:47 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the World Cup warts and all, how the USA team seem to all have legs, the Welsh are hairy singers and Japan are likeable. Also Beckham’s diary, commuting pigeons and down in the dumps Dirk.

S2E62: Preventative Willy Flashing

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 10 Nov 2022 21:41:49 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that seagulls will bite their human friends, blackbirds called Derek can be pure evil, revenge crab eating should be an early life lesson, and Ironside was the one in the wheelchair. And we ask: have you ever maintained a mullet?

S2E61: Premeditated Battery Sewing

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 20 Oct 2022 20:28:44 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss Nige-fest with Texas Nigel, a confusion of confused wildebeests, being sacked after 10 minutes, and sulky a Ronaldo. And we ask: can you use dildos as a buoyancy aid?

S2E60: That’s A Difficult Egg!

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 19 Sep 2022 20:46:56 +0000

This week Joe and Dave realise that shoe jokes are limited, a referee will follow you into a hedge, a pipette is probably best if you’re using vaginal discharge as perfume, and Ian Rush is 60. Also, Kuyt and Evans phone in.

S2E59: Who’s Your Favourite Serial Killer?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 18 Aug 2022 20:44:02 +0000

This week Joe and Dave are back from their holidays and discussing such excellent topics as: what was the funniest war? Who are the greatest average premier league players of all time? What's the best supermarket to pleasure yourself outside of? Is peanut pushing the best use for your nose? Plus, we hear from an unthreatened Jonny Evans.

S2E58: Can I Tell You A Story About Tinned Plums

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 14 Jul 2022 20:14:59 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss what nefarious activities priests do whilst standing between two dark chairs, how adult nappy wearing can be non sexual, Alan Sugar wants more men, and we hear from Gigi about his athletic prowess. And we ask: is the suction of a Henry Hoover relentless?

S2E57: Johnny, Ronnie, John, Ron, Ronnie, Ron, Johnny, Nobby, Ron and Ron

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 01 Jul 2022 20:17:39 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss how a fat vagina has relevance to vandalism, tennis dogs and Norway saying Nor-Way to Brazil. And we ask: is anyone ever sewn into a big shoe?

S2E56: Fannies As Hands

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 16 Jun 2022 20:21:22 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss Joe's stag do absentees, the broad range of mongers and what they monger, and Joe trains Dave on how to deal with difficult football parents. And we ask: where would you rather live - Brown Willy or Wetwang?

S2E55: Never Wear A Monocle On A Mountain

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 19 May 2022 20:38:40 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss Steven Seagull's love of Monster Munch, Mini cheddars and Doritos, how one would qualify to join the exclusive losers club and be financially dominated and footballers farting themselves out of a job. And we ask: Vardy vs Rooney - who's worse?

S2E54: I Bloody Love Graeme Le Saux

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 29 Apr 2022 14:22:43 +0000

S2E53: Daddy Eggs

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 14 Apr 2022 20:27:45 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss howe holding in farts will decimate your appendix, whether cremation should be at a leisure complex, which part of a seagull should be used as a weapon. And we ask: Is it 'Verston Merwe Van Der Verwe'?

S2E52: That’s a Greasy Desire

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 24 Mar 2022 21:36:41 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss storing glass tumblers in your bladder, which bit of a toy plane you should put in you, and work wanking - the future of comfort breaks? Also, Mozart. Is. Dirty.

S2E51: Piss Hands Or Shit Hands

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 25 Feb 2022 21:16:34 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss balloon love, shit tea served in a glass, Chinese winters cold enough to freeze your winky, and Wood making pussy noises. And we ask: is Mark Hughes a harsh UK gem?

S2E50: I Smell A Rusty Chicken

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 14 Feb 2022 18:21:08 +0000

This week Joe and Dave celebrate their 50th along with Steve Mcmanaman and Micky Mellon! In this episode we have public poo, reptile sexiness, and three bastards for the price of one! And we ask: do Hartlepudlians hate monkeys?

S2E49: It’s Our 50th Next time

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 13 Jan 2022 22:04:09 +0000

This week Joe and Dave are joined by No.1 Fan Dan and his quizzical nature. We are also quizzed by famous people and normal people - Guy Fawkes, dead relatives, favourite cheese, and who'd play Dirk Kuyt in a movie.

S2E48: Dwarf Tossing With Vinnie Jones

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 09 Dec 2021 21:40:30 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss Christmas parties, breastfeeding your pets on a plane - (that's not a Sam L Jackson sequel), stinky London, and that Idris Elba should not be in a Leicester City movie.

S2E47: Vegetable Type Life

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 13 Nov 2021 14:55:11 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the spooky scenery in Coventry, the Wetherspoon chip-ophile, how Tony Conte deals with his daily problems, and the strange story of Oofty Goofty. Also, we love Lineker.

S2E46: Eiffel Trifle Stifles Life

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 21 Oct 2021 20:32:51 +0000

It's a Hallowe'en special! Ish. This week Joe and Dave discuss the horror of being splattered with airplane poo, the terrifying verbal attacks of a northern parrot, and the footballer of the living dead. And we ask: is 70 kilograms too heavy for a parachute? Yes.

S2E45: Fernando Bob and Pedro Ken

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 07 Oct 2021 20:34:02 +0000

This week, Joe and Dave discover that you can help out with your own search party, you can sue a psychic and her family for not saving your marriage, and kicking a referee in the head is a sackable offence.

S2E44: Appendage Heavy

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 23 Sep 2021 14:11:41 +0000

This fortnight, Joe and Dave report on super market freezer pooping, Canadian anti ejaculators, elite parachuting former bank robbers playing football, and pervert Lille fans. Also - grab your Garibaldis for History Corner.

S2E43: Last Minute Chris Packham

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 02 Sep 2021 20:54:58 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss: the wetness of Michael Gove’s mouth, if finding a big crisp is the same as buying a house, ashtrays with vaginas, and a woman giving birth to bits of rabbit. Also, we talk to Jonny Evans about his grease based toe injury.

S2E42: It’s Hard To Control Honey

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 19 Aug 2021 20:42:25 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that Michael Jackson's ghost loves cookies and cussing, Rwanda's president rwites off Arsenal's chances of rwinning, and there's no flies on Pepi II. And we ask: does Leo Messi wear lime insoles?

S2E41: An Eel Up The Arse Is A Farce

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 04 Aug 2021 20:19:44 +0000

This week Joe and Dave attempt dolphin impressions without success, South Korean TV stations love a national stereotype, and they discover that pigs are the criminals of the animal kingdom. Also, scientists say: "...sharks don't have hands."

S2E40: Rainbow Dildo Butt Monkey

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 22 Jul 2021 20:17:36 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss how tasty rice will rouse you from a state of fake unconsciousness, José Mourinho will slag off your girlfriend, and jumping into the sea will stop a month long bout of dancing. And we ask: Marseille? Who are they? Exactly.

S2E39: Why Would I Cook My Own Fingers?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 08 Jul 2021 20:33:03 +0000

This week Joe and Dave love Gareth Southgate (not like that... but a bit like that), discover that birds aren't real (they are and always have been), snakes are not very good at hiding toilets (or hiding IN toilets), and we ask: COME ON ENGLAND!

S2E38: Bob Ireland The Loin Dabber

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 25 Jun 2021 20:48:51 +0000

This week Joe and Dave are joined by No.1 Fan Dan (Bob Ireland) who quizzes everywhere. You will have to consent to being abducted by Aliens and taken to the Andromeda galaxy, Ringo Starr is now ok with butt plugs, and Yaya Toure lists his favourite football bummers. And we ask: can you say bummers?

S2E37: Luke Something?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 17 Jun 2021 20:58:17 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss whether Jogi Löw is up to his old sniffs, whether toilets and chamber pots are worthy of a museum, and what do green peas have against Volkswagen. And we ask: if your arse was hungry, would it choose beef?

S2E36: Napoleon’s Vagina

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 10 Jun 2021 20:35:36 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss having your dinner with a little bum tickle, Albuquerque's airborne sex toys are distracting, Joey Barton's 25 year reign of Bastardliness. And we ask: is 'showing a good leg' a sign of femininity?

S2E35: River, Danger, Echo, Cheese.

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 04 Jun 2021 20:56:19 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss preposterous pet names, pissing Pontiac politicians, and tiny stinky Croatian villages with so few occupants you could count them on your own four hands. Also: shoplifting cheese - worth it?

S2E34: My Innards Are Gleaming

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 28 May 2021 20:46:43 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the merits of vinegar (cleaning and eating), car park poos (with no toilet paper), and counterfeit money will buy you testicles (gonads/ox treasures/granules/little maids/bull eggs/unmentionables). And we ask: do Koalas commit most of Australia's crimes?

S2E33: What’s Worse - Rabbit or chicken?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 20 May 2021 20:47:50 +0000

This week Dave and Joe are back with seagull news and naughty PC's with their pee pees in cups of teas, triangular flags, no away kits, chubby millionaire footballers, and Rafa draws goalposts. And we ask: will you help us compose a new Champions League song? Also... Veberley?

S2E32: Like a-Momma Used To Make-a

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 16 May 2021 12:55:07 +0000

This week Joe and Dave catch up with 'Bucket Heid' and Celion Delion and his living room dimensions, Gigi Buffon plants his seeds of retirement, and PSG babies told to ref off. And we ask: would you like to learn the lyrics to the champions league music? Of course you would.

S2E31: The Little Willy Of Better Up

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 05 May 2021 08:49:32 +0000

This week Joe and Dave learn that schools in Berwick Upon Tweed have the best trips with the best teachers, Japanese school boys will laugh at Prince Harry's CHIMPO, and Ronaldo & Messi are so close yet again. And we ask: was the ESL a shit idea? Yes. Yes it was.

S2E30: Francophilia

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 19 Apr 2021 15:07:33 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that piles cream will not increase your girth, all football teams should have an official paint supplier, and in some countries croissants do look like iguanas. And we ask: worry like curry, or worry like lorry?

S2E29: Crotch Related Scent

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 11 Apr 2021 17:23:41 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss a Welshman performing the 'Crate Escape', the impregnation of a non human rubber doll delights/embarrasses a Hong Kong family, and Gazza's crying again (luckily not over an unravelled testicle). And we ask: what does an orgasm smell like?

S2E28: Mmm Baps… Eh?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 03 Apr 2021 17:09:59 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the depth of navels needed for fornication, children taking advantage of USA's nukes via Twitter, and a return for the Ponsonby Brothers talking literal shit. And we ask: Worry or Worry?

S2E27: Butt Plug On A Beach

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 15 Mar 2021 15:31:04 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that lifeguarding is a young persons game, that anal swabbing will leave you walking like a penguin, and Gazza passes psychological examination for trip to Honduras. And we ask: would you buy fast food from Burger Monarch?

S2E26: 100 Episodes - A Fair Bit Of Tongue

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 07 Mar 2021 11:20:40 +0000

This week Joe and Dave celebrate their 100th episode birthday! With messages from friends of the show (and a scientist), the conclusion to the epic Middle Names World Cup, and a Scottish tit fight in a park. And we ask: should you be operating on someones head whilst in virtual court?

S2E25: The Used Panties Forum

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 20 Feb 2021 11:34:54 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the hatred of breathing and vagina scented masks, ref vs. judge in Ipswich showdown, and curry obsessed Joe Cole in Barcelona. Also, this week our puns are out of this world!

S2E24: Tuna Of The Land

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 13 Feb 2021 15:02:52 +0000

This week Joe has a birthday and Dave doesn't. If you have sex with a giant chicken wear rubber gloves (or a full hazmat suit), Greater Manchester Police aren't that great.... AND: EXCLUSIVE - Sean Dyche plays his 'Pussy Blues'. Also, 2 big semis revealed!!

S2E23: Inspector Gammon

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 06 Feb 2021 11:49:00 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that Betws-y-Coed in Wales is a great location for lay-by mouth sex, Celine Dion is still Celine Dion, and mannequins can have girlfriends. Also, will Brendan (Brenda) Rodgers become Jonny Evans' new cleaning lady?

S2E22: Of Our Own Volition

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 30 Jan 2021 17:10:30 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss kidnapped mannequins in Scotland, whether Chinese arseholes are clear of COVID, and discover that Antonio Cassano was Real Madrid's Alan Partridge. Also, Rodney, Brent, Shirley and Frottage are OUT.

S2E21: Mr. Asian, No?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 24 Jan 2021 15:30:21 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the age old tradition in India of swapping shoes with your interviewer, Glenn Hoddle doing Barry Manilow and Haaland dropping bars. Also, Danny Symptoms and Thomas House Partey.

S2E20: Number 1 Fan Jack Bauer

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 17 Jan 2021 15:09:01 +0000

This week Dave would like to marry Margaret Thatcher and Joe would like to shag a Tweenie. In other news, Poland loves Home Alone, Canadian women take their husbands for walkies, and Michael Ballbag.

S2E19: Celion Delion

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sun, 10 Jan 2021 16:27:05 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss pushing sex dolls down the stairs, Messi's little legs and our good friend No.1 Fan Jack Bauer. Also, Hungary is boring.

S2E18: Friendly Flashing

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 31 Dec 2020 14:10:12 +0000

This week Joe and Dave side step the usual format and answer questions from fans - Ask Us Anything! Jonny Evans and Phil Jones make cameo appearances, new years resolutions are discussed and much reminiscing ensued. Happy New Year to all!

S2E17: A Round The Back Christmas Time

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 18 Dec 2020 12:10:31 +0000

It’s Christmas! Festive greetings from Joe and Dave, Jonny Evans, Pauline, Gunnersaurus (Jerry Quy), No.1 Fan Dan, Keyboard Warrior Henry, Sgt. James Mason, Gideon The Briefcase, The Ponsonby Brothers and Andorra.

S2E16: Theo Walnut

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Sat, 12 Dec 2020 16:49:03 +0000

This week Joe & Dave are back (but not together) and discuss if two nostrils are required, if Cumbum is ruder than Sexmoan, and we ask: is the Pope a cannibal?

Mini Episode 3: News

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 25 Nov 2020 12:04:24 +0000

In our third Mini Episode we dissect the latest and most important world news stories - John Lydon's penis and a Tik Tok teens' tortuous yet tantalising tautology.

Mini Episode 2: Headlines

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 11 Nov 2020 09:55:08 +0000

e features a series of earth shatteringly important headlines that define the times we're living in. Enjoy!

Mini Episode 1: Puns

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 26 Oct 2020 15:33:03 +0000

School & Footballer Puns from our loyal fans! Due to our local Covid 19 restrictions we will be releasing a series of mini episodes recorded over zoom. We hope you find them punderful.

S2E15: The Chicken Of The Meat

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 15 Oct 2020 20:53:40 +0000

This week we spend a lot of time on dinner, a man wears nappies to work, Greggs on ya bum, and the football world does not like big pictures. Also, Sean sings again and Patrice is le bastard.

S2E14: Sexual Hasselbaink

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 09 Oct 2020 20:49:13 +0000

This week we discuss sweary parrots, pooing in front of colleagues, dinosaurs getting sacked and Man Utd fans without brains. Also, Stephen is back with...... a friend.

S2E13: Assistant To The Regional Gangster

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 28 Sep 2020 09:40:22 +0000

This week we are back from a short break, in our new HQ! We're talking spunky rubber sheaths, top hats on Mars, German socially distanced football, and five cards of rouge. Also, Pauline and Sean.

S2E12: Burping Duck

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 10 Sep 2020 21:22:54 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the problems that come with sexually taunting zebras, trying to find the end of the earth in Italy, and offering sex workers for a charity event. Also, Roberto Mancini will give you three boners.

S2E11: Romantic And Exciting

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 03 Sep 2020 21:09:49 +0000

This week Dave and Joe both report on the Penis in News, Brazilian women are equal to their male counterparts (we've always said that), and Michael Owen is beer. Plus, Victor Lindelof is our hero of the week.

S2E10: Barcelona Baby

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 27 Aug 2020 20:58:03 +0000

This week Joe and Dave learn about scabby sex toys, tasered chocolate-eating monkeys and Messi the music man. Also: naughty Maguire, factual Barry, and Windass is available.

S2E9: Ronald The Albino Gorilla

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 20 Aug 2020 21:03:13 +0000

This woche we learn that Jesus likes food, shrubbery and fish, people bite and point guns at penises, and Ronald Koeman wipes his bottom with football shirts. Also, maybe Dean Windass is available?

S2E8: Vaseline, Margarine, Germolene

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 12 Aug 2020 20:47:47 +0000

This week people get tattoos of Chihuahuas and seagulls, we long for more oiling up of Adama Traore, and we decide that back to back sex is safest during lockdown. Also, Gigi returns with a slogan for his crisp advert.

S2E7: The Peacock People

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 06 Aug 2020 21:09:26 +0000

This week Joe and Dave catch up with Jonny who does remember Bill, a lady saw a man do a poo which made her ill, and Robbie wants to be a lady - look and feel. Also, Viduka, Radebe, Matteo. Sessions.

S2E6: Keep Your Pubes On

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 30 Jul 2020 20:51:15 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the big grizzly bear from Star Trek, more Chinese Arse News from the same hospital as the last story (hmmmm?), and naughty naughty UEFA again. Also, does Phil remember Jonny?

S2E5: We’re Mum Heavy

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 21:06:30 +0000

This week Dave and Joe decide that it should be Joe and Dave, naked uncles can and will fall over, some people will orgasm to certain sounds, and.... your mum. Also, the return of Jonny Evans!

S2E4: Mother In Law/Woman Hitler

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 21:01:36 +0000

This week Dave and Joe are joined once again by No.1 Fan Dan. We learn that French eco-feminists make pissy bread, Pakistani pigeons could be capable of espionage, and Daniel Anger has made a shit investment. Literally. And we ask: will Dr. Marcus Rashford manage a successful leisure park when he retires?

S2E3: Try The Veal

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 20:55:10 +0000

This week Joe and Dave hail the return of Chinese Ass News, struggle to control Stephen, and Gigi Buffon contemplates his return to school. Also, would you support Deportivo Wanker? And would you wear a George Vest from PriMark Hughes?

S2E2: Bin Laden, Shipman, Cummings

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 02 Jul 2020 21:39:30 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discover that people will put both Watermelons and Mo Salah on their heads, one can send conlolences for a funny death, and Phil Jones on foreign lifts. Also - Osama Bin Laden, Harold Shipman, and Dominic Cummings.

S2E1: Thanks Colin!

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Thu, 25 Jun 2020 21:29:18 +0000

This week is the return of Round The Back, and the start of Season 2! Joe things Elton John may be on the spectrum, Dave begs: “Mother! Not with the sperm again!” And we ask - is David Luiz football’s greatest grifter?

S1E73: Kevin The Brown And John Bush

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:34:49 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the untimely death of Mad Mike, Brick Dollbanger and his Mars colonising sex robots, Ronaldinho’s fake passport fiasco, and farting and fainting in a football match.

S1E72: Bum Sunning Or Sun Bumming?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:32:55 +0000

Does your anus have a Vitamin D deficiency? Then this is the podcast for you. We’re back! Again. Touching on weaponising seagulls, Jonny Evans’s new club, Gigi Buffon has advice for Crispian Eriksen, and Joe asks: is a banana a berry? Up the Pee-Pees!

S1E71: F**K Me That Was Loud

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:30:40 +0000

Like a returning fungal infection, we’re back! For a one-off episode! Get out your antibac wipes, and douse yourself in Chinese ass news, flat earth football clubs, Gigi Buffon, and punchy referees. Also, do cover up both your testicles, and don’t give 110%.

Bonus Episode: The Bonus One

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:28:11 +0000

For the last time, Joe and Dave are here to answer the questions that really matter. And what that means is that we have relied on fielding questions from listeners to provide content. Lazy. Bye now.

S1E70: The Last One

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:25:53 +0000

The final episode of Round The Back … or is it? (Apart from the bonus episode, which will be the last one. Or will it?) Probably.

S1E69: A Spunky Cracker

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:24:08 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss German bondage boats and Dutch World Cup hermits. News on Gary Neville’s nephew comes in, as well as World Cup alliterative all stars adding additional amazement. Also, science!

S1E68: The Mobile Sausage Cannon

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:22:05 +0000

This week Dave and Joe host special guests Jonny Evans of Leicester City and Mat Jones of Epsom College 5’s. They discuss: pony fetish showjumping, projectile hotdog haematomas, and a sexy Russian burger scandal.

S1E67: Vibe Knickers

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:19:37 +0000

This week is a World Cup special!! Dave and Joe discuss how not to use an aubergine to heal constipation and Usain Bolt is actually a bit shit (at football). Meanwhile Joe would love Alan Shearer (the pundit) on his head, and Dave will fact you up.

S1E66: Poo-Sticks

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:17:23 +0000

This week Dave is back and Joe is human. We learn that terrible farts on a plane will cause a brawl, people who are demonised are not, and drinking Red Bull is worse than being a racist.

S1E65: David Batty Of Hastings

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:15:25 +0000

This week No. 1 Fan Dan joins Joe while Dave is away in quarantine (in Menorca). We discussed: salacious sex starved species south of the equator, Puma owns Bolt, and we ask: can you lose your car in a car park in Chelthenham? Yes. (Also, Ramos is sued for €1bn).

S1E64: Park Ji Sung-Tan Lotion

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:13:25 +0000

This week Dave and Joe tackle the deep philosophical reasons behind strangers pooing outside your garage, should there be a height limit for swingers, and: are water pistols the answer to the horrific global pandemic of seagulls stealing chips/fries? Find out in this weeks episode.

S1E63: Yohan Cabay’ve Had Too Much To Drink

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:10:45 +0000

This week Dave and Joe are joined by Marathon-Man Gav! They discuss Richard temporarily dying and looking up at his mothers clam, tattooing Kevin on your arm has its consequences, and FINALLY Phil Neville gets one up on his bother Gary.

S1E62: I’ll Have An Og-Burger And A Guardi-Cola Please

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:08:25 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the noisy and smelly Pagan rituals of Bearheart, how you can live on a diet of just Big Macs, and Gennaro Gattuso used to eat live molluscs and analids (as did Sean Dyche). Also, Jonny Evans!

S1E61: Dragon Knobs

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:05:35 +0000

This week Joe and Dave subvert their normal format (golly gosh). They learn: monkeys do not have copyright infringement rights, there is a wall at the edge of the flat earth, or are their ‘bums oot the windae’?

S1E60: It’s Only Football

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:03:37 +0000

This week Dave and Joe find out that Badgers hate Scottish castles, university should make you cry and fajita crime doesn’t pay. Also, we discuss the upcoming BonerFest 2018.

S1E59: Shakespearean Foreplay

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 13:01:44 +0000

This week Dave and Joe ask: can painkillers make you gay? Can one exercise expertise in exorcism? And is Dusan Tadic an anus addict? Find out in this weeks episode.

S1E58: A Flexible Key

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:59:36 +0000

This week Joe and Dave gain insight upon the parting of ways between Alan Pardew and West Bromwich Albion, discover that God may use Baba’s penis to move a car, and Gigi Buffon loves crisps.

S1E57: Criminal Mischief

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:56:50 +0000

This week Dave and Joe are joined by Henry the Keyboard Warrior, and together they thusly discuss: the sinister story of the sausage suitcase stormed by savage salivating seagulls, fake news that will make you clammy, and post football porn academy.

S1E56: Planet Beanus

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:54:44 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss Mike the Chicken and ‘Mad Mike’ the non-scientist, Greek guns and drugs in football, and Dave makes a bold/ridiculous prediction for the World Cup in Russia.

S1E55: Pulis Academy

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:52:54 +0000

This week Joe and Dave are joined by No.1 Fan Dan to discuss things like: how to prove you are alive, what is the rudest number plate you can’t buy, and does the UFO convention have a janitor? Also Joe quizzes over us.

S1E54: Meow-Ludo Disco Gamma Meow Meow

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:51:18 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the validity of a self declared cyborg, where not to find penises in Iceland, and we ask: do seagulls have long memories and hold vendettas.

S1E53: The Pelvic Salute

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:48:51 +0000

This week Joe and Dave do a Bond medley, Glenn Tamplin does Shakespeare, Japan does it straight from the nipple and Wanyama does lent.

S1E52: Tamplin Vs. Tamplin

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:46:26 +0000

This week Joseph and David discover that Google is murdering/manslaughtering magic, South Korean men love a bit o’ rouge, and as Victor Wanyama says – strangling with a dead leg = not a good day.

S1E51: Jonny’s Porridge

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:44:18 +0000

This week Joe and Dave discuss the appropriateness of Chinese funeral strippers, dildo dog toys, and Armenian Eddy’s time travel. Plus, porno Pennant, Costa Rica, and wizards.

S1E50: The Half Century/Our 50th Cap

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:42:29 +0000

Special 50th Episode! This week Dave and Joe are joined by some friends of the show, who discover that Iceland loves penises and puffins, and Mad Mike is still quite mad. Also no.1 fan Dan quizzes all over us.

S1E49: The Colonel’s Weakness

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:40:04 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss how to get banned from every farm in the country, Russian locusts are trying to cause a global scandal and if you ever find yourself perhaps imprisoned in Peru, avoid the chilli sauce. Oh, and it’s a transfer special.

S1E48: Stained Hen Rectum

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:38:07 +0000

Are camel’s beautiful? Is there a roof ajar on Mars? Did Smithies drink piss? Is Boris Johnson related to a syphillitic mummified corpse? All this and more discussed in this episode.

S1E47: A Rump Ballet

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:36:14 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the merits of being married to a spirit, how to prevent human fowling, and finally discover how Sean Dyche got his beautiful gravelly voice.

S1E46: Sean Dyche And His Little Brother Steve

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:33:10 +0000

The night is red, the day is blue, do you need a 1, or do you need a 2? Round The Back is 40, and still very naughty, Joe is very tall, Dave is a bit of a shorty. (5’8″ – average.)

S1E45: Sugartits Ltd.

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:30:55 +0000

This week Severe Joe and His Audience do Michael Owen, Peadar posts present to Preston’s prize raffle, P.s all enquiries for Sugartits Ltd. please post to Bell End off Turkey Cock Lane.

S1E44: Rodney (Cluff) You Plonker

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:28:39 +0000

This is the last episode of 2017, featuring: bastard of the year, Harry Kane of the year, not in my day of the year, World Cup of the year (2018), conspiracy of the year… podcast of the year?

S1E43: Jason Puncheon The Beano Villain

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:26:37 +0000

Merry Christmas! This week we learn that Chris Packham is the authority on gull culls (the culling of gulls) and dinosaurs. Also, Jesus might not be who we thought he was (allegedly). Also featuring Father Krokus Christmas and Zanka Claus.

S1E42: Brexit What? Nah, Aubergines

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:24:12 +0000

This week, Dave and Joe discuss Teenage Poo-Gate Ginger Squirtles, woman cheats on chandelier with … another chandelier, and who is Colin Wanker?

S1E41: Andy Gray - Randy Gay

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 12:21:38 +0000

This week Joe, Dave and no.1 fan Dan discuss why Canadians hate Santa Claus but believe in aliens, Jonny Evans is on the phone to chat football (mainly) and… Alan Pardew with some warped anal.

S1E40: Leam? Leam.

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 09:01:19 +0000

The night is red, the day is blue, do you need a 1, or do you need a 2? Round The Back is 40, and still very naughty, Joe is very tall, Dave is a bit of a shorty. (5’8″ – average.)

S1E39: Kevin And His Dojo

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:59:13 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the plausibility of a genius Russian Martian boy, and discover that Gattuso was the shit to Pirlo’s Nutella. Also, The Dildo Brothers return with Slaven’s sack.

S1E38: Asamoah Gyan Is In The Air Tonight

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:57:16 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discover that this fine country is being invaded by foreign ladybirds riddled with sexual diseases, goalkeepers do need to wee, and if you lacerate your penis you/it will require stitches.

S1E37: Get Down On Your Knees And Smell The Piss

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:41:20 +0000

Hawaiian Spam trifles, urinating at fans will get you banned, edible Eddie Howe and sexy Sean Dyche, and our soon to be award winning sitcom ‘Sullivan and Gold: The Dildo Brothers’.

S1E36: He’s Got A Dover Sole Down His Throat!

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:38:22 +0000

Polar Bears murdering Walrusses, commentators quitting, Jesus Christ! Fabio Rochemback’s blockbuster long-shot, Tim Cahill’s aviation celebration, Morrissey, and the BBC. Also: David, Paul, Steve, John, Andy, Mark, Chris, Kevin, Michael, Lee.

S1E35: Gordon Strachan The Ginger Shetland Pony

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:35:02 +0000

This week No.1 Fan Dan is back with a quiz (but he only had a sandwich for dinner), we bring a “detailed” report from the World Cup qualifiers which includes a phone call from Jonny Evans, and Alex Cockslave Chambermaid.

S1E34: Cock-A-Dobby

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:32:13 +0000

This week Dave continues his obsession with sex robots, Joe discusses surprisingly stupid signs of silly streets, and they try to work out how many red cards it takes for a football match to become ‘officially’ mental.

S1E33: Maaaaaaark Fish

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:29:47 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss fizzy milk and sex robots (not together!), a couple of examples of how modern football is rubbish and learn that Clint ‘Deuce’ Dempsey is a terrible rapper. Also, the Dildo Brothers return!

S1E32: Ear-Rent

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:26:46 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss nutty Russians and nazi slippers, a Hollywood premier league round up, and a very quick re-cap of the Milk/Coca-Cola/Worthington Cup.

S1E31: The Walk In Condom Machine

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:23:35 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss more Chinese Ass News, No. 1 Fan Dan receives more stick from another third party about his seagull scandal, and a deliciously dirty debut from the Dildo Brothers. Oh, and some Football stuff.

S1E30: Sullivan And Gold - The Dildo Brothers

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:19:47 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss out of control rampaging Scottish naked pensioners, why you should be careful where you place your glassware (or arse-ware), and find out if indeed Dele Alli was fingering Kyle Walker.

S1E29: The End Of The WOTO As We Know It

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:14:23 +0000

This week Joe and Caretaker Dan (formerly No.1 fan) discuss the end of the window of transferable opportunity, Joe makes a prediction of the signing of the season, and Jonny Evans returns to East Bromwich Albion from Leicestershire City.

S1E28: Overworked Fanny The Sex Doll

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:10:15 +0000

This week Dave and Joe find out that if a burglar takes a shit in your toilet he will be caught (brown handed), local rap sensation ‘Flava’ lays down his PL ting and Wayne Rooney re-signs for England… no, resigns from England.

S1E27: Movie Mogul Michael Owen

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:07:37 +0000

This week Joe surprises Dave with a very special little gift (which is a very small part), and find out if Everton are Gylfi of paying over the odds for Sigurdarssarssonson of Swansonsea. Son. And, Jonny Evans turns up pissed in Manchester with Bez.

S1E26: Big Fish Little Fish Parisian Pond

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:04:48 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss Totti’s space adventure, how French Bears are arseholes and that Antonio Cassano is retired (or is he??) Booty, tit, booby, hooter, Chris Waddle. Is that funny?

S1E25: Happy 25th Episode Birthday

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 08:01:35 +0000

Did aliens crucify Jesus? (No) Do football curses exist? (No) Is the medium of mineral water exciting? (No) Is Michael Phelps faster than a Great White shark? (No) Is Kenedy a racist? (Possibly).

S1E24: Always Pants First… But Socks Second

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 07:58:59 +0000

This week Dave, Joe and No.1 Dan find out that bells can be rung, Rooney does all the admin, Evertanas are in pyjamas, what do you where in bed Dan? Naked on the bottom, and a t-shirt in bed with no pants is weird.

S1E23: What Came First, The Chicken Or the Potato?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 07:55:22 +0000

Joe and Dave discuss Eastern Russia’s frozen Horse shit and what can be done with it, and reveal why you won’t see vampires down at Selhurst Park, and Joe upsets Dave by saying John Terry has moved to a “bigger club”. Now, get your shoes on we’re off to a Wetherspoons.

S1E22: Erections Are Common

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 07:53:00 +0000

This week Dave and Joe reveal that fidget spinners are EVIL, resident PI Arjan De Zeeuw investigates why FIFA are trying different curry flavours (did I hear that right?) and report that ze Germans have penalised England via a penalty shootout in the penultimate round of the tournament. Pah.

S1E21: Robin Hood Is Evil

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 17 Jun 2020 07:50:18 +0000

This week the insufferable heat has got to the insufferable Dave and Joe, causing them to suffer, causing the quality of this episode to suffer. Is it a croissant? Is it a snail? Is it a sausage wrapped in bacon? Oh no, it’s an alien! (Hold on, no, it is a croissant).

S1E20: Dan Fletcher The African Lad

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:46:50 +0000

Following on from last week, we discuss some other inanimate objects that one could copulate with, reveal that Chinese poems could end your career and discover that football mascots could be part of a secretive guild.

S1E19: The Window Of Transferable Opportunity

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:44:36 +0000

Can you legally marry a building, we ask? Also, a brand new feature on football transfers (with theme tune), and Joey Barton treats us to a titbit from his autobiography learning us that it wasn’t all his fault all of the time.

S1E18: Roger Moore’s Eyebrows

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:41:48 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss the possibility of tattooing a replacement penis, discover that Roger Moore would happily tackle eight pussies (or even nine) and … John Terry. Yep.

S1E17: Caravan Club

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:36:50 +0000

This week Dave and Joe find out why some referees ‘knead’ to make some extra ‘dough’, give an in depth review to the 2016/17 season, and explain why divers will be punished and possibly humiliated. WARNING! This episode may contain obscene puns.

S1E16: Happy Birthday David Nugent

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:34:40 +0000

This week Dave and Joe are pleased to announce that Jesus is actually back (playing football), seagulls may now be eating humans, and that betting is more punishable than Kung Fu attacks.

S1E15: The Golden Foot/Shoe/Boot

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:32:12 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discover what Chris Waddle was doing in a sausage factory, find out seagulls have jizz, and learn that the Premier League is under siege from the Avians.

S1E14: Does Jesus Own Any Gulls?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:27:06 +0000

This week Joe and Dave would like to confirm that Charlie Dimmock is not “the chunky Groundforce guy”, and discuss possible cast members for ‘Fearless’ (the Jamie Vardy movie) and provide undeniable proof that footballers may well be intelligent.

S1E13: Sessegnon Gets It On His Left Hand Foot

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:21:23 +0000

This week Dave and Joe provide evidence that proves footballers may well be stupid, discuss the tidal flows from the north coast of Scotland to the western coast of Norway, and reveal that you will not find dogs operating MRI machines.

S1E12: Lucas Has To Work Hard To The End Of The Season

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:18:44 +0000

This week we stand corrected by one of our listeners on beard watch, discuss how some beer can be literally shit, and get into the mind of ex hat-trick hero Robbie Earnshaw.

S1E11: No.1 Fan Dan

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:14:01 +0000

This week we welcome number 1 fan Dan who gives a well organised quiz (or something), Joe reveals an amazing fact about Alan Smith (not that one), and this last sentence contains no brackets. (Or nuts). This is nuts (oh, it does).

S1E10: The Tenth Episode (In A Row)

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:10:29 +0000

This week Joe recants a story about vomit and Sunday supplements, Dave shows off his Rain Man-esque knowledge of shirt numbers and then discuss football rules that don’t apply.

S1E9: The Return Of Jonny Evans?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 22:05:35 +0000

This week Dave and Joe try to work out if an Avocado is a vegetable, discover that impersonating Gael Kakuta could end in incarceration and we find out that Gareth Macauley is Johnny Evans’ errand boy… but why?

S1E8: Steven Seagull

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 21:56:50 +0000

S1E7: Jesus Christ Football Star

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Tue, 16 Jun 2020 21:11:40 +0000

This week Dave and Joe discuss Gianluca Vialli’s mysterious foot, the mysterious second coming of the son of (a) God, and the fairytale of Gander Green Lane and the mysterious Pie Man.

S1E6: Barry And Bill Neville

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 29 May 2019 17:04:50 +0000

This episode includes ACTUAL facts, how Dave met two Barry’s in one day, identical twin footballers, and we ask: are men who work in garages just dirty big perverts?

S1E5: Martin Tyler’s Girlfriend/Daughter

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 29 May 2019 15:35:14 +0000

This week Joe wears a sexy Christmas jumper which you can’t see, we look back at the year and discuss Leicester City winning the league (spoiler alert!) and Joe questions Dave’s knowledge of the speed of light.

S1E4: The Dion Dublin One

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Mon, 27 May 2019 15:34:00 +0000

This week we learn that Jonny Evans is a savvy financial advisor in his spare time, protection from seagull attacks is not funded by UK taxpayers and talk about Dion Dublin’s new musical invention.

S1E3: Not The Dion Dublin One

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 15 May 2019 18:25:00 +0000

This week we discuss what is sinister about having a number two, why Gareth Southgate would be a terrible supply teacher and discover that vegans will NOT eat money (or candles).

S1E2: That’s Not A Seagull!!

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 15 May 2019 17:42:00 +0000

This week we look at the reaction to England’s mannequins, why Robert Pires never became a long jumper and find out why people in Wigan aren’t needy.

S1E1: Why Give A Timepiece To A Goat?

joejpreeves@gmail.com (Round The Back) — Wed, 24 Apr 2019 18:14:00 +0000

Dave and Joe discuss the Goat-man’s contribution to science, Arjan De Zeeuw’s mysterious new career and Harry Redknapp performs a dramatic reading from his new autobiography.