Maciej Zurawski was another Polish import who arrived with a great goal scoring record and really looked the part in flashes. Magic didn’t have Dziekanowski’s good looks and he had the haircut of a 4 year old. Quick visit to Taylor Ferguson, a binning of the pesky Polish missus and Zurawski was free to do a bit of damage. But maybe if Maciej kept it in his trousers he would not have been shipped out to the Greek version of Blantyre Vics. When asked how he was enjoying life in Greece he was quoted as saying “I like very much the hole and the swally but the Greek wimmen are not so willing as the Glasgow burds and some have moostash like the Polish girls back home”.

Boruc has been the best goalkeeper at Celtic since Bonner and the 2 seasons previous he has been world class. It was mooted that some big hitters were going to weigh in with upwards of 12 million quid. The way this season is going we should have snapped their hand off. I’m a big Boruc fan and I know he’s a total wind-up merchant but I quite like that. I enjoy seeing him annoying opposition fans especially they-who-shall-not-be-named (how jammy were they against Accies? 7 break-aways seemingly.) Thing is, the Celtic support let you away with these things when you’re performing but Boruc is living on past achievements and on current form should be dropped in favour of Mark Brown. Brown isn’t a world-class keeper by any stretch but he is dependable and I suggest that if he was between the sticks on Sunday we wouldn’t have lost. We didn’t play particulary well but had 70% possession. The only time Hibs looked like scoring was another Boruc blunder when he rushed out of goal when he had no way of getting the ball. Fletcher made an arse of his finish (good player - I thought that we could maybe have pinched him using Riordan as the catchweight). It was similar to the St. Mirren one against Dargo when he misjudged the pace of the ball and flattened the striker. He should have gone for that one and we would have probably lost. That he didn’t walk was only down to the ref bottling it. That’s not to mention the catastrophe against Rangers and the equaliser against Man U.

Not really anyone’s business, but the fact that he’s just split from his wife months after she gave birth to his son isn’t really the best way to keep your head in the game. He was pictured a few weeks ago smoking, drinking and sooking the face of a Polski Idol competitor (Yes Polski Idol. You couldnay make that up). He really is all over the place at the minute and maybe a couple of games cooling his heels on the subs bench would clear his head.

Anyway, there will be plenty of time for gloating later, back to Denmark. After the game Gary Caldwell was interviewed and was really critical of the team’s performance. Then it cut to John Hartson (who is looking more like Clint Eastwood’s orangutan Clyde, everytime I see him) who said that he totally disagreed with Caldwell. Celtic had dominated in defence, midfield and upfront. I thought that was spot on. We pumped Aalborg and the game should have been buried at half time. The misses from Samaras and Nakamura were criminal and the two goals conceded were as much down to real bad luck as bad play.

Misses aside, it was hard to be critical of anyone. If Samaras hadn’t been injured playing for Greece we would have walked that. He’s half the player since coming back and he’s looking like the lazy player who we had for the majority of last season. Pity, because before the injury he was on fire. Don’t know whether he’s one of these players that thrives on confidence or whatever but there are games when he looks like he needs a boot in the moussaka’s. Furthermore I think that we could have won the game against Man U at Parkhead if he’d been fit. That game was crying out for a striker to give us an out in the last 20 minutes and we had none. None that were fit anyway, Scott MacDonald had ran his arse off, which is no mean feat when you’ve an arse as wide as his. Him and Boruc are needing to go on I’m a Celebrity or something; the two of them must have had there close season in Pizza Hut.

Nakamura’s miss was a heartbreaker. If there was a guy you’d want in that position it would be him. He’s a cut above anything else in Scotland and I’m glad he’s staying till the end of the season. Yes he drifts in and out of games and yes he sometimes struggles to cope with the physical aspect of the SPL, but he has that something different about his game, which no-one else in Scotland has. His touch and vision are a joy and he’ll be missed when he eventually goes.

I could have gret when that second goal went in. Even if we’d drawn we would have been more likely to go into the UEFA Cup, which I quite fancied a run at. The most galling thing about the way it all happened was that they were utter, utter bollocks in every department. And have the cheek to say after it that Celtic fell into their trap. So, absolutely hammered at home, go a goal down, have 1 effort on target, give away a hatful of gilt-edged chances and then pinch it with a deflected 30 yarder from as bad a player as has ever been in the Champions League (quite ironic that his name was Kaka - I used to go to school with a Kenny Dalglish, poor get was as bad a footballer as you’ll ever meet. Parents must have had a right sense of humour) and a freakish OG at the only time they’d got anywhere near us the whole game. That was all part of the masterplan? Well done Johan Mourino, you are the special one.

A lot has been made about the luck Celtic are carrying this season and the favourable refereeing decisions we’re getting. I can’t argue there; Boruc should have walked against St. Mirren, it was never a penalty against Accies and Rangers scored 2 perfectly good goals against Aberdeen and Motherwell which lost them 4 points. Strangely though, that luck has only applied to the SPL; we’ve been really unlucky in the Champion’s League:

Always devastating to crash out of Europe but I think we’re looking good at the minute. We weren’t very impressive at the weekend but that was always going to be a hard one. We’ve a few players who’ve really hit form recently; Gary Caldwell has been outstanding for months, Brown and Hinkel are also flying. I think Brown needs constant cajouling to keep his game up, maybe Neil Lennon adopt him. They could go out at night down the West End, that would be a quiet night. I’ve not been impressed by Hinkel from day one but he’s really coming onto a game; the wee one-two shimmy he had against Caley was unreal for a full back. So another European season over. I suppose it’s better to have loved and lost. We can keep ourselves warm with the 10 million quid we’ve banked. We could buy ourselves 3 Kyle Lafferty’s with that. And we’ve still got that 7 points to make us feel all smug. If we’re still that clear by the end of December I think it’s all over. So let’s hope the month ends quick. Eff all to do with the fitbaw, Christmas shopping gets right on ma tits!

Recently the banter between fans, which was never exactly friendly, has taken a really sinister turn. There has always been the religious bollox to beat each other over the head with, that will never go away no matter what measures are taken. I’m certainly not an expert and when if asked if you know the history, I’d have to answer, no really, but I can’t ever remember death threats being issued to players. I’m probably wrong. I’m sure guys like Sebo and Tony Cascarino were regularly feart for their safety, though mostly from their own supporters.

I think things took a bit of a darker turn with the attack on Neil Lennon. Maybe walking alone late at night up the West End when you’re such a visible figure as Neil wasn’t the smartest. Mind you, it was just after Rangers had skelped us at Parkhead, so you’d think these dobbers would be in a good mood. Whatever the circumstances and there is no something like that should ever happen, it was bad news. But no, these idiots were set up as heroes and within a few days there was a game online where you could give Neil a digital doing. You have to admire the ingenuity of the Ned. Do none of these people work?

Next followed the death threats to everyone’s favourite Spanish dwarf; Snatcho Nacho - his address posted online and some wild threats made. Don’t get me wrong, Snatcho geez me the dry bolk but I don’t wish any harm on the wee Spanish hobbit - well maybe I’d like to give a Chinese burn but that’s about it.

Then we have the debate over the minute’s silence for Remembrance Day. Celtic took the decision to have a minutes applause instead. There are two sides to this argument and both are valid. Yes, it should have been a minute’s silence as that was what everybody else was doing and it was the right and respectful thing to do. But there is no way that it would be upheld by the whole of the Celtic support and that would have turned it into a farce. It would only take a few eejits within fifty thousand to make National News and Celtic would be vilified up and down the country. The minutes applause in the end was more respectful than attempting have a silence which would have descended into Up the Ra! Shut yer face! Who you talkin tay! Up yay! That’s not honouring your heroes. Yes, you’re pandering to the minority, which is wrong, but if you know there is a problem then head it off at the pass. Not, oh look there’s a rattlesnake, let’s poke it with a stick. What happens next is that Ranger’s fans then take the moral high ground, which is a bit much from a support who can sing there’s only one Gary Glitter.

I don’t know how it is around the world; AC and Inter, Real and Barcelona, Blantyre Vics and Blantyre Celtic. We get a closer look at Man City Man U and Liverpool Everton; these guys don’t like each other, that’s for sure but we seem to take it onto a whole new level, which seems to continually escalate. Which begs the question, where will it all end? There does seem to be a genuine attempt on the part of Celtic and Rangers to get their houses in order with some of the songs that are sung, but it’s a real uphill battle; trying to educate fans who have been brought up on some of the bile that is thrown at each other is virtually impossible. It’s a real hard one to swallow, but someone is going to have to grow a pair; start docking points, ban clubs from Europe. I’d hate it but if the powers that be are serious about cleaning up the game then it is the only option they have.

Let’s all join hands and sing a new song. We are the world. We are the children. Mibbe no.

On the pitch we were frickin awesome to a man. If I had to be critical, Robson was ropey in patches; lost possession a few times and some needless free kicks, but what couldn’t be questioned was his commitment. Cillian Sheridan did look a bit lost in parts of the game, but hard to criticise such a young guy who tried his heart out. There is also a debate on whether or not the equaliser was a goalkeeping error; I’ve still not seen it again on the telly, but my first reaction was that it was another Boruc blunder, of which he is making a worrying habit these days. That’s quite a few he’s pushed out onto a striker this season. Yes the ball was performing all sorts of ungodly movements but you’d still expect your keeper, when he has so much behind the ball to turn it round the post or at least ensure it’s not returning into traffic.

Caldwell and McManus were compared during the week to Miller and McLeish. On the current form (McManus seems to be returning back to his best) that is not a bad shout and with both relatively young players, it could be a partnership which serves Celtic for a good few years. They were outstanding again at the weekend against Motherwell, who played really well, looking to take advantage of any tiredness. Caldwell especially made some fantastic tackles and is the man making the early running for player of the season, which is an amazing turnaround from the shaky start he’s had to his Celtic career.

For the first time this season against Man U I thought our full backs performed as well. Hinkel having his best game in a Celtic jersey and Wilson coping well with the best player in the world. In fact the best player in the world was decidedly average, went in the huff from early on and was lucky to stay on the park for a kick at Scott Brown. If it had been a Celtic player booting the greasy Portugese whinger then he would have been red carded instantly, after we had to watch Ronaldo rolling over more times than the Euro millions lottery.

We were the better side in the first half but the second half was like the Alamo and total torture to watch. Because we didn’t have Hesselink, Samaras or even Killen, when the defence broke down a Man U attack - which they were doing with unexpected ease - there was nowhere to hit. Ordinarily you could just welly it up the park and let them scrap for it but with only Sheridan up front with any presence, it wasn’t ever going to be a fair contest against Vidic and Ferdinand. MacDonald was immense and has been for the last couple of weeks, really stepping up to the plate to cover for all the absentees. Though with 20 minutes to go he had very little left in the tank. Though his goal will live long in the memory.

Berbatov was on at half time which gave the Irish Man U fan I was sitting with a wee chubby as “Ee’s da best playor in da worlt”. But he did very little. Then the screw was really turned when Ferguson put on Rooney. Maybe he didn’t start the game as they wanted a decent team photie for once. He did make a huge difference. I’ve seen Rooney play in the flesh a few times but he really seems to have upped his game recently and playing the free role made him impossible to pin down. His new haircut’s nice as well. He’s got a coopin that really carries it. Seemingly the reason it’s like that is Colleen was at the doctor as she was suffering from piles and he told her it might help if she shaved her arse.

If you’d offered any Celtic fan a draw before the game, after the doing at Old Trafford, he’d have taken it. But when you’re in the lead with so little time to go, you get greedy and when the equaliser came it was heartbreaking. Whit the chuff was Ryan Giggs doing scoring with a header, 5 minutes to go. He’s about the same age as Davie Weir.

The performance definitely went a long way to winning back some credibility. When you get guys like Paul Ince making comments like men against boys, then it’s good to shut them up. It will be a shame when Blackburn get relegated. I didn’t hear anything like that said about Chelsea who were pumped by Roma. Alex Ferguson (why the blue strips?) was good after it; when asked about the atmosphere he said that is was incredible and he mentioned Ronaldo and Vidic saying it’s the best they’ve ever experienced. He then said that his players would love to play for fans like that. He realised that he’d over-stepped the mark and moved on swiftly. He’s spot on though. When Celtic supporters give their team backing like that, they are the best in the world. Many a pundit has looked at the paradox that is Celtic’s home and away Champion’s league form and been baffled but it’s patently obvious on nights like that. Andy Walker put it very well when he said that it isn’t the support intimidating the away team, but about them helping the Celtic players jump higher, run faster and never give in. Quite something to be a part of that.

The first half I thought we did exceptionally well. In fact Van Der Sar was the keeper called into more pressing action. Strachan had his formation just about right. I have issues with the personnel though. Not with playing Caldwell as the holding midfielder; I thought that was a masterstroke. He needed to accommodate a bit of extra height as we had a team of hobbits. Caldwell had a great first half in that role, granted the second half passed him by, but it passed by every Celtic player. The volley he wellied from near enough 30 yards was a screamer and had Ronaldo or Rooney hit it the commentators would have been reaching for the KY.

Where I would have changed it would have been Nakamura and MacDonald. Scott MacDonald is a good striker. Not world class, as we’ve been spoiled with in the past, but a fair enough striker with an eye for goal. This only applies as part of a little and large set up though, and there is no way he can ever play the lone striker role. To ask him to perform it against the best team in Europe is ridiculous and this is where Strachan should have shuffled the pack. *BLASPHEMY WARNING* Maybe Strachan could have looked at how Rangers were set up last season. If you’re going to set your stall out to defend, why do it in half measures? Rangers last season were dire to watch, yet had some outstanding results in Europe home and away. This was down to the 4-6 system he adopted. This isn’t having a go at Rangers as it worked a treat. 3 nothing against Lyon in France! Eff me, there’s no way Celtic could ever dream of that.

They played with no strikers, full stop. And that was a squad full of players who could hold the ball up front. They had a striker on the park in each game, granted, to make the wee patronising fake pitch they use at the start, for the hard of thinking with the numbers all laid out for you, look nice (even worse on Sky when they start pushing them about to show you where they’ll run). But it was a 6 man midfield which sat about 10 yards in front of the defence. As well as that, not to oversimplify it, the majority of the time Walter seemed to look at his squad and pick them on their height. He would then surrender the flanks, trusting that anyone who found the byeline found it impossible to pick out a player in the box, as he’d be crossing into a sea of brick shit-houses. The midfield would literally break forward as and when it was possible. Again, this isn’t a criticism of Rangers, merely observing that if you set your stall out to defend, which our formation suggested, then do it. Leave your creative Japanese midfielder, who can’t tackle and is a real luxury away from home on the bench. Play your Scottish international, who’s position is defensive midfielder instead. Don’t play your tubby, munchkin centre forward who can’t hold the ball up and will be eaten alive by one of Europe’s top defences. Play Shaun Maloney, who’s strength’s are taking players on and keeping possession of the ball and have him break from midfield. I’m not talking about at Parkhead because I think that no matter the opposition, Celtic have to at least attempt to dictate play at home.

The most galling thing about the game though, is definitely the gifting of two offside goals to the Manks. Taking on the best team in Europe, at their midden with a pretty stretched squad, you’re going to need a bit of luck. We competed really well in the first half but you’ve got to rely on the officials getting the decisions right. Or if you’re going to balls it up, at least do it in the favour of the poor wee underdogs, who’re getting pumped. So one offside goal followed by another. Game plan out the window. The third goal was annoying though and Loovens should definitely have done better - if that hadn’t went in we could have clung to the two offsides. Shut it! I know Rooney scored one that was onside, I’m trying to draw some positives here.

Another niggle which is building with me is the form of the Roly Poly Goalie. Another bad mistake, which cost us dear as it was the all important second goal. Before this season began, lots of European teams were supposedly in the hunt for Boruc and 15 million was quoted. I think maybe it’s all got a bit much for the greasy Pole. Don’t get me wrong, he’s my chuffin hero and would be my captain. I think your captain should be a big personality and a leader, which Artur is. No disrespect to McManus who is a thoroughly decent guy and a great ambassador but he is the safe choice, which isn’t always the most interesting. But I just wish he had a bit more of a hard streak in him and put his size elevens in a bit more. The Holy Roly Toly Axel Foley Goalie needs to get his head back in the game and stop fannying about. Although, I must admit to enjoying him acting like a big wean against the bad lads. Seemingly he’s getting a walk on part in Coronation Street, which is just the Manchester arm of the Celtic supporters club seemingly. Who in their right mind phones up a TV station to complain about a character in a frigging soap being a Celtic supporter? Get a grip!

Anyway. What was I talking about? Oh aye. Pumped in Manchester. Even the UEFA Cup is looking less likely. How the hell did Aalborg score 3 in Villareall? I fear the worst.

I was actually a bit disheartened to hear John Reid talking about how Celtic will never be bought over by a foreign investor. Hear! Hear! I’d absolutely hate to be in Man City’s position. You can stuff your limitless amounts of cash Sheik Ma Boaby! How hellish would it be to be able to afford the likes of Robinho and actually compete against Man U? If John Reid is saying that it wouldn’t be in the interests of the club then bollocks. It would be the only way we could move forward. He is talking about the long term, but long term Celtic will always be a massive club and even if a big investor is short-lived, it’s not as if when he pulled out we’d go to the wall. If a sugar-daddy bought Celtic with limitless amounts of cash and we started bringing in some really great players, with the worldwide audience Celtic have, it would be a very short time before we were in the Premiership. The English Premiership do whatever Sky tell them to and if we were big news financially they would insist. If that were to happen then I think that within a few years, both Celtic and Rangers (it’s a package deal) would be able to compete at the highest level and not go to places like Old Trafford as fodder.

Samaras was neat, showed for the ball consistently and in patches looked the man most likely. McDonald a total non-event, which is a pity as they did not look the best at the back. Naka did nothing. The most productive player in an attacking sense was Maloney, who had the beating of the right back every time, which was particularly annoying as we seemed unable to feed him, even when he was in acres of space. The main problem for this and I think the main problem with the whole game, furthermore the season so far, lay squarely in the central midfield, with neither player capable of a decent forward pass. Robson seemed up for a tackle and was constantly barking into challenges and put in a shift - is there anybody in the world who doesn’t know that Barry Robson skuds every penalty he takes right down the centre?

But Brown yet again was a total disappointment and I think, penalty miss aside, he has to be the man held accountable. What happened to the gallus midfielder we signed from Hibs? The crabbitest wee turd on the field who snarled and spat his way through every game. He just really doesn’t seem up for it. He’s no longer crabbit but he is a crab as he can only move and pass sideways. When Strachan signed him, did he cart him down to the vets to get fixed first? When he was on the ball and running at pace, he looked as if he might do something but doesn’t he always look like he’ll do something and then produce eff all. I can’t even remember when he last scored (can’t be arsed searching). The movement of the front players and the fact that the Cheeseboard, sorry, Allborg defence looked like a block of wood, meant the Celtic attack was crying out for someone to play a decent defence-splitter. Even Massimo Donut can make the odd successful forward ball. I thought Crosas really looked the part against Motherwell and it made a real difference to see Celtic pressing forward at pace for a change, rather than this chuffin studied build up. The wee Ginger Guru complains when the fans get restless and should be patient. Bollox! This is our first Champions League game. Against the worst team in it. Stuff being patient. Get tore in. Play a 3-5-2. Drop Andy Winkel he’s a total German sausage. They had one up, as we knew they would and even though they had a couple of chances, never really looked like scoring. It’s all dead predictable.

The game descended into farce, when it looked like the Cheeseboard players were trying to choose who was getting sent off, after the referee and his equally clever linesman, lost sight of who had brought down Ooo Aaa Samaras as he burst through on goal. The number 2 was the culprit, don’t know his name and don’t care - Danish identikit 6’ blonde chap. He cut across big Geordie accompanied by the Mexican looking right back. So who gets sent off? The 6’ 5” brick shithouse with the black crew-cut. Bring back Hugh Dallas - not as a referee though, maybe just to use as a toilet brush. We scored as well, which on another night, with a linesman that had been made aware of the in-line-onside malarky, would have stood.

Strachan is far too loyal to players that aren’t doing a job. Prime culprits for me; lets start at the top. McManus has had a real poor start to the season, yes club captain, but when you’re out of form and there’s a player on the bench who would do a job, then it doesn’t matter. No-one should be bigger than the team, unless it’s Jimmy Calderwood; he’s bigger than the dugout. Hinkle is living on past glories, offers bugger all going forward, teams target him as it’s easier than getting in the shower behind Dale Winton. The Gerries must be desperate to call him back into the national side or has the world ran out of right backs? Kirk Clubfoot is an international back so mibbees aye. Caddis gives much more, as does Mark Wilson (though he was badly fun oot against they who must not be named). But pubic enemy no.1 is definitely Brown. Maybe a spell on the sidelines would do him good. I think he would probably throw the toys out the pram though. It was only 6 months ago that the rumours were Newcastle were weighing in with a £10 million bid. Maybe that would have been the right thing to do. Recently Rangers fans were going tonto over the sale of Cuellar. On reflection that looks a right good bit of business; with that dough they have re-invented their midfield, bringing in Mendes, Davis and Edu. A midfield that recently absolutely dominated us on our own patch.

On a positive, Caldwell has been our most consistent player for the last dozen games or so. I think his great form is the main reason that McManus isn’t exposed more. He can find a player with a long pass and is solid in the air and on the deck. He didn’t have a great game against the bad lads, but he’s a footballer not a wrestler; it would need The Rock (or Balde) to handle a 15 stone French diddy jumping into you every time the ball is in the air. It’s a lovely tactic that Smith has used in every Old Firm game since his return - be interesting to see in the next one who is given the battering ram role.

So we’ve left ourselves with a real mountain to climb. Man U and Villareal drawing as well was a baddie. Strachan has to have a real look at what he thinks his strongest starting line up should be. We have options and it shouldn’t be the tried and trusted everytime, especially when they are off form. Not talking about a squad rotation, as that never works, but surely when you’re playing against a static, packed defence, than having two central midfielders who both look to run with the ball rather than look for an early, forward pass, if you’ve another option up your sleeve use it. Hate to be a pessimist, but the UEFA Cup is already looking more likely. Possibly, if looking for a positive spin, the team weren’t as focussed as they would be, were they facing Villareal or Man U and the form will come, but I’m clutching at straws. Mind you, maybe Cheeseboard aren’t that bad; they did annihilate Kaunas home and away and they’re my 3rd favourite team, after Sellick and Zenit St.Petersburg.

McManus is actually having a particularly shakey start to the season and Caldwell is by far the better of the two. In fact, if not for a couple of right good Caldwell interventions Scotland would have conceded more. I know he’s club captain but maybe the Loovens/Caldwell partnership could have an outing. Though the worst man on the park was Kenny Miller; half an hour to go, you bring on your experienced striker to hold the ball up and stretch their defence. Every time the ball came near him he lost it instantly. I’ve seen better control of a ball in the public park, whenever he tried to trap the ball it bounced 10 yards. Yes he’s a trier. Yes he has pace and runs the channels but there’s got to be some ability married onto that, otherwise just bring in the Olympic relay team. That isn’t just because he plays for the bad lads, granted he has had some right good games in a Scotland jersey but up until Wilson and Boruc decided to gift him 2 goals at Parkhead he hadn’t scored since Jordan popped her cherry. The last 10 minutes were torture; Graham Alexander thought it would be a good idea to take a man on on the edge of his own box and then there was a cracking clearance off the line from Caldwell. Commentators all agreed that the ball hit off him and he didn’t know much about it. I tend to give him the benefit of the doubt as he did turn his head into it.

Job done. Pampers removed. Move onto Setanta 2 to catch Croatia pumping England.

Croatia 0-3 England. Whit? Never saw that coming. Croatia did pull 1 back when the Croatian nearly kicked the head off Terry which amazingly, the ref allowed. But, to be fair England were sooperb and Rooney’s touch and pass to set up 11 year old Theo Walnut was sensational; caught and turned in mid-air leaving two Croatians baffled, while releasing the perfect pass all in one movement, unfortunately there isn’t anyone in dark blue capable of that level of skill. We have to rely on heart and dig, which has carried us pretty far and is the reason we’re always mince in friendlies, that are played at half pace. As usual the commentators were unbelievable; not if they were going to South Africa but wondering who they would fancy in the final. It got so ridiculous that at one point the question was asked, possibly by Chris Waddle, if Capello had instructed his charges to play badly against Andorra to lull Croatia into a false sense of security. What’s the matter with these people? Thing is, England are actually a good team to watch and there is a great player, three great players for every position in that team, but every other home nation country has it rammed down their throats by these patronising gits, not to mention the dreaded 1966. Having said that, Ashley Cole is a total trumpeter, not least because he gets to play the beast with two backs with Cheryl - now that’s a wummin - she even makes it bearable to look at the ginger wan in Girls Aloud. The Croatian support were tremendous - totally pumped by a team that the whole world hates more than a Harold Shipman XI yet they sung and bounced about at the end like they’d won the World Cup. There was a few extremely tasty Croatian burds in the crowd as well, which was at odds with the two Scottish munters they kept cutting to in Iceland.

Next up was the Republic vs Montenegro, didn’t last much of that game as there wasn’t a lot going on. The only thing that stuck in my craw was the sight of Aiden McGeady in the Irish strip.There has been a lot of debate over his choice of country and a lot written. Having just enjoyed the euphoria of the Scotland game I couldn’t help but be annoyed that such a spectacular talent is denied to us. Further to that, the Scotland team in Iceland featured 6 Celtic players, four of them in the midfield. It’s not inconceivable that we could have had an all Celtic midfield, which would be quite an achievement.

McGeady would be a Scotland starter no question. There isn’t a winger in the squad, Maloney is asked to play that role at times, but his natural instinct is to cut inside or go for goal himself, rather than hit the byeline to make a cross. I am not questioning McGeady’s right to choose which country he plays for, that is down to personal choice. What I am questioning is his reasons for doing so and the fact that his decision is applauded by a vast number of the Celtic support. I’m a coat tails Irishman myself; Irish grandparents on both sides, Irish surname you name it, but I really don’t buy into this glorification of all things Irish. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a great place to visit, there is a great atmosphere and lovely crack (yes I know I’ve spelt that wrong but that’s the crack I like). What I don’t get is this glassy eyed love of the Republic team. This is a pure footballing point - whatever any preference there is, is down to individuals but surely a born and bred Scotsman would crawl over broken glass to play for his country? Many national teams in the past have had players turn out for them who are not exactly pure blood; Ireland famously made it to the semi-finals with the midfield stalwarts of Ray Houghton and Andy Townsend among others. Houghton from the Gorbals and Townsend sounds like Chas N Dave’s wee brother. Scotland have envoked the granny rule many times as well, with the likes of Matt Elliot and Nigel Quashie. These guys are different from McGeady in that they would have played for the country of their birth but weren’t good enough.

When McGeady made his decision Scotland were under Bertie Vogts, who made John Barnes look like a guru. Surely that couldn’t have swayed his decision? If it did it was pretty short sighted. Whatever his reasons and I’m sure they’re important to him, I can’t ever conceive wishing to play for a country other than Scotland. And I wonder how the same Celtic supporters would feel if the threatened limiting of foreign players is brought into play. 4 has been mooted - so that’s McGeady, Boruc, Nakamura and 1 more. We have no Scottish strikers so that would present a real problem. No Hinkel either (maybe not a bad thing) and hopefully our two Scottish centre backs stayed fit. Hell slap into McGeady if he lost his place due to this rule.

Still when Scotland have guys like the Govan Kafu, Kirk Broadfoot, we’re in safe hands. Give him his due, he had a right good debut. By my reckoning a business associate of David Murray will be in with a 10 million pound bid by Christmas.

Going through the whole team, no-one for Celtic stood out. Possibly the showing by Samaras and Maloney against Falkirk gave a false slant on that partnership as they were given a lot of room in that game. They were both anonymous and Samaras was lucky to be handed a goal which made him look like he’d actually contributed. Having said that his replacement shouldn’t have bothered warming up. Cousin is sent off, rightly so I think; he must have committed a dozen fouls, was spoken to twice, eventually booked and commits 3 more fouls after that, goes in with his elbow again, had to go. So he’s off, you’re 3-1 down after an immaculate strike from the impressive Mendes and your experienced Dutch international decides to kick out and get himself red-carded. Games a boagie. Cheers Jan ya diddy.

We actually made some pretty poor players look as they knew what they were doing. How Kirk Broadfoot can contribute in an attacking sense is beyond me. He should have spent the match on the back foot fending off McGeady. Instead he’s hitting the byline and laughing in McGeady’s face after being brought down following a neat flick over his head. Whit’s that about? Fat Charlie Adam megging for fun and running riot. Miller was having a mince game and to gift him 2 goals as we did was torture.

Player for player we had the better side but no-one turned up. Brown, yet again was a total non event and I’d have much rather had Robson in there. The midfield pairing of Hartley and Robson was the main reason we won the title, so why persist with an out of sorts Brown when you’ve better options available? I’m not convinced that Brown is a happy bunny at Celtic and there’s a niggle that he’d much rather be in a blue jersey. When he plays for Scotland he’s a stand out - stranger than Kirk Broadfoot’s haircut. Rangers on the other hand passed the ball very well and were never put under any real pressure, surprising considering the midfield have only had a couple of games, where the Celtic midfield have been together for a long time. The current Rangers squad remind me of England; players played out of position all over the park to accomodate them, with everyone wanting to play in the centre. It’s hard to criticise the formation though, as we had tremendous natural width and didn’t make it tell the whole game.

Defensively we were God awful. Smith puts Cousin in every time and every time he bullies the life out of McManus and Caldwell. McManus in particular had a bad day and should get his legs slapped for a truly stupid booking in the first 10 minutes. Wilson had howler and did very little going forward. There was nerves through the whole back four and amazingly the best performer was Hinkel.

The last 20 minutes was painful to watch and enduring the olés from the boys in blue was tough. I think a word for the follow, follow brigade is warranted. I was embarrassed listening to the bile that spewed from that end of the ground. We were told before hand of the global millions who watch this game. Fair enough there was lots of taunting from Celtic supporters over their European misadventures, the usual beach balls. Some imaginative banners. The Bullseye, here’s what you could have won with the SPL trophy next to it. Particularly liked the, O My God they’ve signed Kenny, South Park banner (they should keep that one as it will be needed later. Not every team will gift him goals as we did, he’s still a rotten finisher, which is quite important for a striker). You’ve got to hand it to them, they replied in style. The more over the top party tunes have become taboo so they’ve hired in Andrew Lloyd Webber to freshen up their jukebox. The references to Jock Stein are disgusting, which was the favourite on the playlist. But the winner was “There’s only one Gary Glitter...” what follows is wild, I’m sure you’ve had the text. The global audience would have really been enjoying that clever wee ditty. I’m sure if the game was shown in Bangkok where Glitter committed his vile crimes, they would have seen the funny side. Not ideal subject matter for cheering on your team. Setanta has really expanded it’s audience down south and to have this sort of idiotic, mindless vomit spewed out on national TV is shaming the whole of Scotland. You’d have thought they’d done enough with their UEFA Cup Final exploits.

To end on a positive note, you have to hold your hands up and admit Pedro Mendes’ strike was a thing of beauty (though Naka’s last season was better and given all the grief slung in the direction of the officials, Dougie MacDonald had a really good game and called most things spot on. Although he should have sent off Nacho Novo. Not for anything he did, just because he’s a wee jobbie.

Ugly Betty Cuellar has envoked the Santa Clause and parachuted down to Aston Villa. Which was appaling after the reassurances from the Chairman and Manager days before that he categorically would not be sold. Everyone at Ibrox is holding their hands up saying it wasn’t their fault and the Spanish pin-up worked his ticket. I’m no expert in public relations but was this clause written on the bottom of Carlos’ moisturiser? If that was in place, surely before making any promises to an already pissed off support it might be an idea to check with the player to see his intentions.

Cuellar is as good a defender as has played in the SPL in recent memory - a pivotal moment of the season was when he handballed Nakamura’s net-bound shot in the 2-1 game at Parkhead; until that point he was producing the best defensive performance I’d seen since John Kennedy at the Nou Camp. The balls that Robson and Nakamura were whipping in that night were virtually impossible to defend, invariably he cleared with some help from McCulloch. It really hacked me off at the time as it prevented Naka scoring two wonder goals in an old firm game but his red card was the main reason we won that game; there’s no way McDonald would have won that back post header if he’d still been on the park, plus he missed the next game, which was a massive factor in our victory that night and ultimately winning the title.

I find it strange that whenever Rangers have these question and answer sessions with the fans that Murray isn’t given a rougher ride. If Celtic had just been dumped out of Europe and were serving up the poor fair that Ibrox fans are enduring, our fans would have the torches and pitchforks out demanding someone’s head. Yet the questions seem to centre around lights in the bathroom or ticketing, when what really needs asked is what the chuff is happened to the money generated by the European run and the sale of Alan Hutton.

David Murray is a notoriously crabbit get and whenever he sticks his head above the parapet (which is becoming increasingly rare) he reacts very badly to any criticism whatsoever. Undoubtedly he is a charasmatic figure and I’m sure when face to face with him he would be an intimidating man to cross, but surely he needs given a rougher ride for the way his club has been handled in recent times. Every question is met with aggression and he, as usual, is blaming the media and further to that the internet for misinformation. The fact the he drip feeds his supporters very little and expects them to unite behind him against the evils of journalists who are always telling lies about poor Rangers is arrogant in the extreme.

The fact remains that the selling of Cuellar greatly weakens the Rangers squad and with Celtic nicking the ear-marked replacement they are really struggling in the centre of defence. Davie Weir had a great season but I think a lot of that was down to the quality of his partner. Pairing him with Dailly or Broadfoot would be a disaster. Bougherra looks a no-nonsense defender but does he have the pace to compensate for Weir’s obvious lack. I’m the same age as Weir, when I’ve played fives my knees feel like a couple of used bbq briquets and I’m not exactly marking Torres. That said, I’m certain that there will be a plan B. Strachan should give Walter a phone and see if he would take Bobo off our hands. I had sympathy for Balde about a year ago and when Caldwell was dodgy I thought that he should have been brought back in, but clearly he is a total mercenary, seeing out his contract to enable him a last signing on fee on a Bosman. Speaking of movement, I hope Bobo and Gravesen’s next crap is a hedgehog.