Rue Beloved Gono

Existing when you don't feel like it

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 01 Feb 2021 10:00:00 +0000

The Bilayer Of Existing = something that has two significant sides to it. The title tells us that the poem is mostly to speak about the two sides of life: The land of the living and the land of the dead.

Stanza 1 - Introduces the idea of illusion. how someone who might look okay and shows no physical signs of being sad or depressed might actually be going through a lot. You can't hear them cry but that doesn't mean they are not sad or troubled inside. They might not see a reason to live at all even if they seem to be doing well on the outside.

Stanza 2 - the last line of the first stanza introduces the idea of suicide or an attempt at it. This stanza defines the attempt as having failed. As somewhat of a spiritual person I believe in the power of words and prayer. So at a previous point in ones life you could have prayed for protection or mercy from God to save your life not actually knowing when those words would come into play. At the time of wishing you would die, God remembers that you once prayed that he have mercy on your soul even if you didn't carry this apathy in your heart at the time, here those words and prayers that you sent out into the universe are saving your life and this can be frustrating when you have no will to live any more.

Stanza 3 - The reflection on prayer made me realize how much I had changed. How my mindset had changed and how desperately wanted to go back to that girl who knew there was so much to live for, but I couldn't.

Stanza 4- This part connects to the last line of stanza 3 that speaks about crying, by setting up a powerful image of someone who's cried so much they've filled a bath tub full of their tears. Sitting there in the pool of their tears, indicating the immense pain they are in. This pain becomes a doorway into their deepest desires and fears. Their biggest desire being to live a life without pain, and the only way to live painlessly is to die. Which is in itself a huge fear. Because (going back to the religious aspects of the poem) I obviously believe In God, which means I believed in and feared going to hell. However, I had come to resolution within myself in the last line of the poem. After going in and out of my thoughts, I had overcome my fear of going to hell.

A resolution that shows that the fear of death had been overcome. Does that mean I'd prefer hell over this life? And if so, then why choose the unknown when i could just brave the storm that I have already faced and conquer it too.

POETRY ANALYSlS:

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Tue, 26 Jan 2021 10:00:00 +0000

A Sad Poem: the title is simple, in contrast to the other work I had put out before this that almost always had some metaphor for a title. The poem itself has some complex parts but it all falls under this simple title. The title is also identifying what kind of poet I am. and how I may not change that just because sad things make people uncomfortable

Stanza 1 + Poem structure: the poem takes the form of a few lines that are spoken out loud by the speaker and some in parenthesis, to indicate thoughts that are not said out loud. The thoughts are not said out loud because they may be seen as rude, and too honest, and are almost always in defense to what is previously said. The speaker almost wants to be heard but isn't quite ready to say what's on her mind so she unwillingly, compromises, by telling half truths.

Stanza one is simply a thought she shares with us. We see that she longs to feel a joy that she seems to not be able to feel when she is by herself. Perhaps indicating that there is a codependency to company - she needs others to feel better instead of having to face her sad loneliness.

Stanza 2: in order to never be alone, our speaker devices a plan that perhaps the best way to never be lonely is to fake friendships. If one is friendly to others, perhaps they'll be friendly back and she'd never be alone ever again. However, the speaker is still suspiciously defensive. As though she wants the company but doesn't want to explain why. Wanting her state of being 'alone' to never be seen as being lonely. This idea of having to explain herself to people introduces the idea that perhaps being by herself is better to her and that the need to have to be around others might not have been for her comfort alone or even at all. Even though she's looking for ways to be tolerated by others she is reluctant ("I would stop liking being alone" - she still wants to be alone) but knows it is what she must do.

Stanza 3: These two lines support the idea that this idea of wanting to mingle is not hers because as soon as she has expressed that she wouldn't mind mingling, someone else is relived ("I heard that sigh" - exhale -relive) not her. who is this person who she is trying to impress?

Stanza 4: This the first time that the people that the speaker is trying to impress speak. And they speak of marriage which suggests that these are parents -"...marry before the night enraptures us" - She'll find someone to marry before we die.- the metaphor compares death to a dark night that overtakes people - suggesting that when the speaker's parents say this they are being over dramatic, because, marriage is not *that* important and perhaps the speaker thinks that perhaps death isn't either but they do.

She is not excited about this event at all but nonetheless the parents start speaking of the day as if she's already agreed to it and is just as excited as they are.

Stanza 5: despite not being thrilled by what her parents want for her our speaker sacrifices her contentment for theirs and decides to go along with everything and not make a scene where she bursts out in disagreement. instead she'll keep all her discontentment to herself.

stanza 6: She won't - as she has always done- speak about the pressure of having to find a partner to make her parents proud. The speaker, a poet , would like her parents to be proud of her for her talents that connect her to people better than her flirting skills. Even if its not for a lifetime as the contract of marriage promises. She likes what she does.

She reminds herself that she is going to try and be as quiet about the process as she can be whilst still being rebellious.

Her rebellion taking the form of poetic instruments: Alliterations - 'pleasantly passive, passionately peaceful"

Showing that even if her parents disapprove she'll continue doing poetry even if she must change how she speaks. So in place of writing what she wants directly she'll write/say it sarcastically and in a very obviously ironic way all in the name of being a brighter, nicer more attractive young lady (words like "whimsical and Beautiful" suggest she's tryna be the more traditional lady who only sees funny and aesthetically pleasing things.)

Stanza 7: Her fight is passive, however it is evident that she is breaking at the seams from all the pretense. And it does not matter how much people complain that the things she speaks about/ surrounds herself with/ sings - music we relate to is a good representation of how we feel and who we want to be, a song you like to sing likely assists you to express your truest self. - that is the reason the speaker cannot sing happy songs because she herself is not happy henceforth does not know any happy songs.

she resolves that in order to be what is truly required of her, some inner work has to be done - "...perishable (liable to rotting, goes bad quickly, easily spoilt = she's moody) emotions I have yet to clean out." She turns a good happy thing bad fast and those emotions turn into bad emotions, which she keeps inside. what happens when you keep rotting food in the house?

According to the rest of the poem - she cannot clean these 'bad emotions' out yet. It'll be seen as improper, not socially accepted so she must keep them in. So until she gets to a space where she can clean all that out freely - she will continue to right sad poems because that's the only place she can express herself.

Toxic Love

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Sun, 17 Jan 2021 08:22:00 +0000

of late, I've been thinking about myself. Which is a statement that by itself doesnt sound too world changing. however, from the perspective of someone who's lived a life where pleasing others and meeting everyone else's expectations of what any sort of relationship with me looks like, I have done very little for myself.

During the last few years of my life I have been exposed to countless versions and definitions of toxicity. Every one seems to have an opinion on the matter. everyone has a some one or a group of someones who they deem "toxic" and somehow, we're are never short of these people in our lives. I begun thinking deeply about the criteria for toxicity. being a biochemistry student, discussions of toxicity from a scientific point of view are not hard to come by. it is part of the job description. I've gone from thoughts of who in my life is toxic, how do i get rid of them to am I toxic to others or to myself and can I get rid of myself?

Putting aside, the timelines filled with fake wokeness and seemingly wise advice where people are basically saying nothing, I landed on the philosophical self talk that everything could be toxic. this being irrespective of that particular thing being tangible or not. In the least human experiences are toxic, people are toxic, sunlight is toxic and eventually life itself . I arrived at the conclusion that the purpose of life, for all people in my opinion, is to love and love as much as we can and as many people and things as we possibly can. so then, if to live is to love and life is toxic then the love for life must be in itself, toxic too. so I begun thinking about where I was receiving toxic love from as well as where I was giving it.

As all toxic environments end up - in destruction that's what the perception of my life in this light became as well. A sort of abyss. To think that if life- love is toxic then there is no escape that it will destroy me before I have mastered the dosages that wouldn't end my life. And there is nothing left to do in life than to discover things or work on what has already been discovered. We, as people, fall in one of these categories. In any given lifetime we can be both at some point or the other. or rather we choose which fields in our lives we will choose to be proactive and brave enough to discover things for ourselves. If my main focus, passion and purpose in life is to love then everything I love is my life. In an attempt to group the vastness that is life I contain it in this one word: Love and explore it as much as I can by means of observation and note taking. In hopes that what I find will not kill me before I get the chance to share my findings. Or in the least leave trails of evidence behind for the next explorer to follow and continue on from.

I want to discuss the toxicities of life, the tumors. Things we might never be able to get rid of but if we could at least acknowledge that they exist, understanding might come later. Once we understand them, we might learn to manipulate situations in our lives, teach ourselves just how much of these poisons we can take in before we die.

AND if we can stretch the philosophy far enough - learn how much is good enough to keep, good enough to actually make us better and not sick.

EX SOC

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Wed, 14 Oct 2020 07:52:00 +0000

A New Poem video!! I honestly wasn't going to post this one at first but a lot of you said I should so I did!

Ex Soc is a poem I hope shows us how a relationship can change a person and not really for the better. I don't usually put my name in my poetry but I felt that in order to have that personal kick that drives all stories to the heart centre ideas like equating myself (a woman) to a cyclone (a slight attack at a patriarchal world that labels destructive events with (usually not always) female names) but still being so hypnotised by the woman

My parents have always taught me the importance of being your authentic self especially in relationships and at the point of writing this piece I wondered what would that moment feel like when you were with someone who not only made it okay to be yourself but accepted you for you who became if you ever changed for whatever reason. That's what Ex Soc is about. A sort of reflection, to ask yourself am I being my authentic self in my relationships or am I being who I think this person, who I am with at the time, wants me to be. Also reflecting on the change new relationships bring you, that if it's not a change you like or approve of. A change that's out of character for you - it's okay to leave, even if there are some good things you like about that person.

I have taken this lesson from multiple sources in my life, my friends, elders, my own experience and I am so happy to have penned it down.

Watch full video on YouTube: https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=aCPGpvtTKxk
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#poetry

New Book Hype: KU Publication

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Sat, 08 Aug 2020 13:50:00 +0000

Blogpost 0808 – KU Publication

Pheeeww what a month this past week has been.

My last blog post I went on rambling about how we need to better ourselves by moving from our pain. This one is slightly of an administrative nature since what I was meant to blog about today, is not ready yet.

*Crickets*

About two weeks ago I announced that there would a new book published on Kindle unlimited and that you guys should look out for my next blog post because I would be talking about it. I had hoped that by the time, the book would be ready but sadly it is not. With semester two under way at school my YouTube channel up and running a bunch of side hustles I got going on to pay for the various bills that are accumulating, the final process of editing and finalizing the details of my chap book has been a rather slow process. I cannot not gift you an un-cared for project. Hence I will dedicate a day a week to simply work on it and put my heart into it so that the book releases sooner than later.

What is it?

Another poetry book. I wrote this collection a while ago and have been meaning to share it with you. I have since added new pieces of poetry in there that go with the overall message of the book. Where is the lag if I am done writing? Order and perfection. I’m am still deciding if the order of the poems in correct and feels right and if certain pieces I have in there fit or are too too personal too share. At the same time this collection has more poems than Little girl Blue, however I am not completely sure I want to keep it that way or trim some away. So that folks is where we currently are.

If the heavy schedule of Uni, book marketing and YouTube wasn’t as great of a challenge, I’d be ready to share this with you but alas we must all wait. Until then I have a couple more enticing topics to cover with you on this blog and on my brand new booktube (That you should totally check out and subscribe to by the way)

RB GONO - Youtube

I won’t let you down. A storm is brewing and we are excited. I love you for reading! See you Monday!

Xx RB

Bandages look better than scars

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 03 Aug 2020 10:30:00 +0000

I have been thinking a lot about victimization and the right to complain. Tightly coiling both those topics together is the right to be human and to exist. In a poem I put up on my Instagram story a few weeks ago titled: Basic Human Decency; I talk about how certain things that are supposed to be a given in our society aren’t. Basic things like respect and love and something as simple as recognition.

With that in mind, I recognize that we’re living in a society that heavily puts attention to each other’s faults and on areas that we may not have been paying attention to before. Along with that heavy load of information that we should not complain about but rather commit to educating ourselves one social issue at a time, there are so many people choosing to hold on to their shortcomings and misfortunes for dear life. Something like someone not recognizing you and who you are, that they or something hurt you, though it is a hurtful thing that shouldn’t be happening but it is not a criminal offense.

The purpose of holding people accountable for their actions and words then letting it go is not to make them feel like they owe you their lives from this point onwards and should be apologizing for it for the rest of it. No, it’s for you. You allow yourself to recognize that you were not in the wrong for this situation and that gives you the freedom to let it go and move on with your life and be the baddie you are!

Instead, what I see happening everywhere is when someone offends us, instead of holding them accountable and giving them a chance to reeducate and apologize. We criminalize the act and in turn victimize ourselves. Now, let me narrow it down for you.

The title of this blog post is bandages look better that scars. Why? Because the presence of a scar indicates that the healing process is complete. We can move on from the situation. I don’t have to dress the wound every day or warn people not to hold that part of my body too tightly because it doesn’t hurt anymore. Bandages on the other hand, mean we’re still bleeding, still hurting. When these two analogies are put side to side, we’re quick to say surely no one wants to be hurting forever. However, which parts of our lives are we still protecting like they still hurt? Where is it that we’re not allowing ourselves to heal?

The thing about a wound is that you and the people around you are forced to take care of it. Everyone has to be aware of it. So now we can say anything about puppies ever because yours died a few years ago. No one is allowed to bring up relationships, or cheating in your presence because you’re still bitter about your own situation. When really, all you need to do is move TF on.

I feel like we all think that the act of moving on presents an opportunity for the perpetrator to forget what they did. Or for you, the individual, to suddenly become irrelevant. But honestly why is that any of your concern? It sounds insensitive but the pain you keep forcing yourself and everyone to acknowledge is holding you back not them. We feel like if I don’t have a sob story to present then do I even matter? We become so desperate for validation and attention that we keep poking at our own wounds so that we keep bleeding. STOP THAT SHIT AND MOVE ON! We need to stop finding identity in our tragedies and finding it in the overcoming of said tragedies. It really doesn’t matter the situation.

Continue holding people accountable for the things they do but let’s not allow what they do to cripple us.

Our society will continue being as sad and as depressed as it is right now because we’re holding on to our pain and our traumas like oxygen tanks. Believe me, the air is much better outside. Let us normalize moving on from traumatic events and situations.

And allow me to clarify something: I said move on, I didn’t say ignore or forget. Earlier I said that everyone should be held accountable because that is very integral part of moving on. Too many of us however, stop there. Our lives becoming this never ending blaming game with us the victims of all these crimes. That is a very paralyzing position to be in.

Once you acknowledge that something hurts – that is the step of realizing you are wounded. Next is allowing yourself to hurt (crying, allowing the grieving process to occur) – synonymous to allowing your wound to bleed by wrapping it up in a bandage. During this time, you may need to change the bandage a couple times and dress the wound. After some time, and it is important that we recognize that this time has to come, we must remove the bandage. The wound has healed. The offense is gone.

What may remain is a scar and here’s the thing about scars. Sometimes people ask about them. That’s your opportunity to tell your story. And if they don’t you could offer to tell it “Hey did I ever tell you how I got this scar on my forearm.” Tell the story, laugh about it, let it go.

Yes, bandages may appear to be better than scars but scars feel a whole lot better than a bleeding wound!

WE GOING TO YOUTUBE!!

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 31 Jul 2020 10:17:00 +0000

YouTube – A new venture!

So the idea of starting a YouTube channel has been in my to do archives for a while. I needed to ensure that when I launch the channel I’d have an ideal niche that suits me and my message. I had to establish, as I did with starting this blog, that I had something valid to say and that I had a unique way of saying it as well. After sitting with myself and sometimes calling friends to run some of my most adventurous ideas past them: I finally decided to just go for it. So this is me officially announcing on the blog that I am now a YouTuber.

Similarly, the channel will work hand in hand with most of my publications, marketing my most precious works. However it might not explore the exact same topics in the same way. On most days the blog will be a day or two ahead of the channel (Which is to say exclusive content will be announced here first). This blog remains where I will mostly speak about my work and go deep into my many rantings as to why I thought something was important to write about. The channel serves as an attention call, not only to my work but to the work of the many other artists who inspire me and whose paths have crossed mine in the many creative ponds we find ourselves.

My hope is to put a spotlight on the work that goes into producing art in its many forms as well as continue to define myself as a creative and tell my story to as much detail as you, my audience, will allow me. Though the channel will probably have me exploring a number of other ventures and trying numerous things, talking about numerous topics, there are three main segments that will be prominent.

1. 1. Poetry videos and short films: These will mostly be works written by me and very rarely but occasionally feature another writer’s work for which they will be credited.

2. 2. The second will work closely with this blog which is my Backstory segments that I do on this blog on MY poetry and stories. It is important to me as a writer to communicate my message as clearly as possible and though a story can mean whatever it means to the consumer; it is important to recognize that creatives have a message to communicate. It is one of the many reasons for creating. This message has to be heard and sometimes it shows up in things like where the story comes from, the inspiration, their hopes and how they, the creator, express it since different things represent different things to different people.

3. 3. Backstory: Artist spotlight. I am most excited about this segment. It will be putting a spotlight on the creatives I have met, that inspire me and that I feel they have a powerful message to share. This will take the form of a short documentary/interview type of video where we can get to know some of my favourite creatives better and why they do the things they do.

It is my hope that the YouTube channel continues to bring Hope and communicate love and carry the mission of this blog to give poetry for the soul, stories for the mind and love for heart.

SUBSCRIBE TO YOUTUBE CHANNEL

The Very First Poem I Ever Published...And other news!

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 24 Jul 2020 10:30:00 +0000

POEM 1

She told me it was worth it, that I should go ahead
Told me to give all my heart
Then she took it all away
She sent her daughter, Love to come mingle inside me
Made me break every rule then threw me out at sea

I stood there on a cliff that had two ends to its name
Forced to choose, I chose my life
I would be happier this way

Now out at sea, I worry about the one I left on the cliff
I pray he won't jump after me for surely he will not live
I pray that remembers that the love we shared was real
That I would have made it last forever and ever if only it was Her will

I won't curse Fate's children
For all the pain they have caused
Because they hold my future and could keep me from my man
But maybe it's not the end,
Maybe they'll bring us together some day maybe that's the plan.

...

Thank you for your support on this blog. I appreciate it more than you will ever know. This weekend there are few announcements. The first one is that there won't be a blog post this coming Monday yet again. I apologize. I am currently working very hard on new content. Do follow my instagram for more updates : @RueCritic72

Secondly, I do have an upcoming Youtube channel that will work hand in hand with this blog. Its first video is dropping really really soon so keep an eye on that. If you'd like to support me and subscribe to that asap here's the link so you'll know when I release the videos: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGdwgo5eBoDXJFoPoiTekzA

The next announcement is the The Thoughts That Shatter me collection will be going live on Kindle Unlimited really really soon. I am currently brushing up with the editing. This book did incredibly well on Wattpad and I am so excited to be re-releasing it with Kindle! So if you hadn't read it yet, now is your chance.

Lastly but never least, Little Girl Blue is still available for purchase in all online stores. I recently discovered that the shipping fee for my South African readers is a little out of the reasonable price range for a paperback chapbook. I am working on getting affordable printed copies to the African shores ASAP.

Thank you again for reading my work thus far. Your feedback is so encouraging. I appreciate all of you. xx RB

BACKSTORY: You-man Nature

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Thu, 16 Jul 2020 11:04:00 +0000

Hey folks, welcome back! I’ve been reeling in a lot of new readers as well so if you’re new here, welcome bunny!! Lovely to have you! Today we’re talking about a poem from Little Girl Blue titled You-man Nature.

Earlier this week I posted an excerpt of the poem on my insta story with the caption: “This poem is about sex and fornication.” With a bunch of cheeky emojis following. Whilst this caption wasn’t lying I’d like to dive a little deeper into the backstory of the piece.

This poem is one of the shorted pieces in Little girl Blue for the simple reason that I had one thing to say and it didn’t need too many metaphors to get the idea across (As is with many things – I just get over excited sometimes). That idea being there are more important things in life than sex. AND WE ALL KNOW THIS but do we act like it?

I remember one evening sitting in the car with my parents driving back from what I recall as probably a church event. I was much younger than I am now and that is one of the reasons this poem found a place in this collection: to show how I thought about certain topics even at a young age. Such topics being one of the biggest themes in this collection: Sex. On this drive, I saw for myself and for the very first time- prostitution or sex work in progress. Setting aside my parents disapproving remarks about what the girl was doing outside at this hour; my attention drew closer the man who was entertaining said prostitute. What was he doing here? Didn’t he have a wife or a girlfriend. Could this woman dressed in skimpy clothing on a cold night be his girl? Doesn’t he have work in the morning and finally what was it about sex that made men so willing to pay for it and lurk around at night to find anyone who was simply willing to have it with them.

This poem is structured in the following manner: The first stanza expresses my confusion at the ‘need’ for sex. More specifically so called ‘immoral sex’. That is sex out of wedlock, sex with prostitutes, and adultery. I was well versed in the reasons why I could not and should not have sex but that was not my concern. My concern and rather what I was more obsessed with was understanding the desire. This desire for a satisfaction that one could not simply wait for. I have always believed that there is joy in the wait. And I believe everyone who’s ever waited to have sex with a person they truly valued (or anyone who’s ever waited for anything for that matter) understands the value of that joy. However, it seemed – as I was looking at the situation from my 15-year-old mind, that when it came to sex that joy in the face of an extremely attractive individual was thrown to the curb for a few minutes of fun in exchange for money.

I make a point of comparing the joy of sex to honey flavoured water. This is in an effort to say that yeah, flavoured water is good to taste and it makes you feel good but is it good for you? And even if it is, is it better that the benefits of pure, clean water?

A life with an active and perhaps not socially acceptable sex life was, to me, honey flavoured water. In comparison to a life without: “Pure, untouched fresh water.”

I understood fully that eventually sex would be a part of my life (“eventually we all taste honey”) making a note that at such a time, I should not feel bad about the fact that I would crave such things in my life (“Why do we apologize for it?”); It’s part of life and is natural.

The last stanza makes an effort to sort of comfort me. By telling myself that yeah sex is cool and all but perhaps abstinence is really where it’s at. That having an active sex life is an attractive lifestyle (especially to the youthful eye) and if that’s the life you’ve chosen cool. Don’t feel bad about it but a life without feeding into all your desires is ‘safer’ so you ought to be mindful of that.

The poem is titled human nature because it recognized that sex is part of the human experience and the desire to have it is not what people should be shamed for. What you should be ashamed of is the inability of self-control. Allowing your human desire to put you at risk of contracting a bunch of sexually transmitted diseases, perhaps not having enough money for what truly matters in life because you blow it all on the women you sleep with or destroying the all-important relationship with your life partner because instead of spending the night with them you opted for a fun night out of town. The Hu in human is changed to YOU to express the idea that giving in to such desires serves no one but you. That it is a selfish act. Again putting strain on the importance of indulgence. Is it really worth it?

If You liked this post, please leave a comment below with your thoughts. Or even better share this post with someone else! I love you for reading!! See you next week! xx

ILY - A Poem

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 10 Jul 2020 10:30:00 +0000

I couldn’t find the right words to say to you so I thought I should—

Lie. Would you, do you care?

Or maybe I could say the truth that is in my heart; spit the

Vulgar emotion that

Exists inside me, been made free and careless as a

Yokel seeing New York City for the very first time

Over and over

Under the radar,

I will keep on

Loving, liking, maybe lusting. Keeping myself in your

Orbit, never touching, only hoping I don’t lose my

Virtue so as to not

Emerge out of and fall into

Your ability to trap and teach

Others to behave in an

Ungodly manner

MILK AND HONEY

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 06 Jul 2020 12:11:00 +0000

MILK AND HONEY – A REVIEW

I recently purchased my copy of milk and honey by Rupi Kaur (Finally) and I am here to share my thoughts and experiences.

I often like to research an author either before I read their work or after – just to get a sense of who they are and what others say about them. Rupi was no exception. After watching many reviews and interviews of hers on YouTube, reading a few articles I finally sat down to read the book.

There were various elements of her books that I liked for example her cover (I have a thing for bees), the structure of the book which is divided into four parts namely: The hurting, the loving, the breaking and the healing. Despite the lack of punctuation and simplicity in writing for which Kaur is often criticized, I enjoyed reading this book. The lack of punctuation did make it difficult to get the sense of the general flow of the poem but eventually the message got across. I am a big fan of poets breaking the laws of language so this is not something I’ll penalize Rupi for. Overall it’s a pretty ‘chill’ read. One I’d read again.

It is not the most life changing poetry I’ve ever been exposed to. However, if someone asked me if it was worth the read I’d definitely say yes. My favorite from the four sections would probably be the loving. My least favorite would be the healing. It felt like it was just a whole bunch of sticky notes you stick around your mirror to remind yourself that you are worth something. It really lacked originality for the most part and I felt like I was reading something I’ve read on my TL before.

Aside from that here are some of my favorite bits from Milk and Honey can be found on

page 55: a poem about being rendered speechless by a lover. A sweet little thing.

page 56: This is probably the best thing (for me) I read in this book

Page 61: something cute that I related to on the night I read it

Page 69: made me blush a little (haha)

Page 71: another page filled read that made me blush a little. Titled: How we make up. I really liked this one.

Page 73: This poem is about me. She doesn’t know that, but I’m telling you it is.

page 170: MY MANTRA FOR 2020

for more about Rupi Kaur I have here a link to her website and author profile here:

Part 2: Mental Health and Art

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 29 Jun 2020 12:39:00 +0000

The journey to recover from my depression is still ongoing. I will say that it has gotten easier after I learned how to release my emotions into my work. Discovering poetry in primary school was an essential step into being who I am now, since at the time when I found myself in a very dark place, listening to and reading poetry was the most emotionally freely thing I could do. I’ve always been a reader and used reading to escape my reality often. But poetry: it wasn’t something I could get into but it helped me understand and eventually learn how to explain to myself and others what was happening when I couldn’t explain it simply.

I’ve always done well with metaphors. And when I began writing poetry I wrote about simple things like the clouds and the bathroom tiles, about the way the sun shone through the leaves while I waited for my transport back home after school. Finding the way that these things in nature represented situations that were present in my life.

As a curious mind, I love finding out how things work and why. I try my hardest to live a life that feeds that curiosity. I feel like every system on the planet can be used to explain another because they all work quite similarly. I have used that perspective to explain my emotions to myself and how to navigate through life. I have used those same methods to give advice to others.

I believe that my writing has a place in this world because I acknowledge how the literary world has helped me process and communicate better. I have many people say they love to read my stuff for different reasons. For me I write as an expression of both my insides and outsides as well as how I interpret situations in life in general. In my poem The Journey of the creative. There’s a line where I say “I’m flying through the minds of those that have hurt before...” which is to say that if I only wrote about my own life experiences, I wouldn’t write as much, I believe that having empathy and being able to relate everything in life also allows me to be able to understand and write about things I may not have experienced in my own life.

A big step for me however was finally becoming comfortable to allow my writing to be about me and that’s when I started writing about depression and anxiety. And though some of those poems might never see the light of day, I also recognize that sharing the ones I do helps someone else who’s out there know that they’re not alone which is one of the biggest problems faced when dealing with mental health issues is the feeling of being alone.

My hope is that people can relate to my writing. Find a home where they can rest here, set themselves free and process their emotions and eventually release and come back on top, learn to celebrate themselves as this is what I do through my work as well.

So, Depression...? PART 1

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 26 Jun 2020 12:32:00 +0000

So, You’re depressed are you?

Poem #31

The problem with my parents is that they mistake depression for a feeling

And yes, it can be

A lot of you ‘feel’ depressed

But feelings fade

Depression doesn’t

See, I’ve been depressed so long I’ve watched my depression change form

And right now depression is a house

A six walled bachelor’s flat in the middle of a dessert on a cliff by the sea

One of the walls is glass

Often I sit there and stare at the water beneath me

Forgetting the darkness, I’m in

Forgetting there’s no water coming out the sink

Or electricity for the fridge

Or food for my belly

I just stare at the sea

Convinced that If I look hard enough

I’ll find a mermaid

Who will fall in love with the way I know how to look

The way I know how to see them

Like they’re the only one who matters

More than life itself

And they’ll break me out of this house as if I don’t have the key tied around my neck in a noose.

...

I wrote this poem recently, reflecting on how far I’ve come and how sad I felt sitting in my friend’s bachelor flat that she had let me house sit for the duration of the lockdown. I don’t remember what time it was when I wrote it but I remember staring out the window and imagining the sky was an ocean, wondering why do I feel so horrible about life.

I often tell the story of how I got to become depressed the first time by summarizing it in two words: ‘Grief-induced’. I was 15 – having been filled with so much anger and confusion as to why someone I held so dear to me had passed away so suddenly. How they were such a lovely person who didn’t deserve to leave the way they did. It almost felt like I was refusing to accept the fact that they were gone and so instead of mourning my loss, I simply became mad about it and refused to acknowledge the death. That anger (which in our household I wasn’t allowed to express) was suppressed. I then developed a method of suppressing all my ‘negative’ emotions. For the next couple of months, I didn’t feel anything. I didn’t talk about anything.

I lived most of my life in my head. Things would happen and I would react in my mind. Life became very dark, very quickly. I felt very empty and like nothing mattered. There was a constant feeling of heaviness in my chest. Which again, I ignored and carried on with whatever ‘duties’ I had to do in my life. I was in denial about my condition for a long time.

The first time I contemplated suicide (or dying in general) was the first time I acknowledged that something was wrong and that I had to change something. I was so full with emotion that I would get triggered by the simplest of things. I’d get irritated by the sun in the morning, or hate seeing others having a good time because it was something I couldn’t access. I cried every night, couldn’t pray anymore, couldn’t sing. I truly hated existing. I then decided that something really had to change, because I couldn’t go on like this.

So I googled methods of getting over depression. Dug out my bible and prayed using the only words I could muster up the strength to say: ‘help me.’

If you read my poetry, you’ll discover that I often describe depression as a place, instead of a feeling or a state of being, like I've done in the poem above. The story I’ve just told is my first run-in with depression. That time, depression was an abyss. It felt like I was in a rundown, abandoned dark town. I, was siting inside a hole in the ground. The longer I stayed depressed the deeper the hole got, and the darker the town became. Deciding I wanted to get better was an act of climbing out of that abyss, which, even today is one of the hardest thing I've ever had to do. Since one, I was doing it by myself and in secret because I didn’t want anyone to know that I was depressed, especially my parents. Two, depression is a battle of the mind and heart; everything happens inside you.

Let's Chat, I've missed you!

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 22 Jun 2020 21:28:00 +0000

Hey There Loves welcome back!

I have been writing an awful lot lately and I believe in the next couple months to a year, I’ll be ready to release my next collection. I have spoken briefly about what the experience of quarantine has been like for me. I think that my next batch of poems will definitely dive into all the lessons I’ve learnt. Onto today’s topic…

I really do believe that as someone who’s struggled with depression, combined with a heavy anxiety in the last two years, that ceasing from running from myself has really been key for my growth.

There’s that word we hear all the time! What has growth meant to me? Like I mentioned earlier growth (A huge theme in my current WIP) has a lot to do with getting a hold of myself and not running. What that meant is recognizing when I feel something, accepting that I am feeling it. Learning why I am feeling it and allow the wave of emotion to pass through me and then finally release. A large portion of this has been tapping into my spirit and finding out what it needs to flourish. I am a very spiritual person so it made sense for me to turn to fixing this after I had tried to focus on my mind and body and that wasn’t cutting it. Something was always out of balance. Relearning my sense of spirituality, unlearning old ways of praying, communicating and identifying myself as an individual has begun freeing me from a lot of “earthly” expectations. It’s teaching me to love myself in a way that I had never been told to do so before and I am more than here for it!

Briefly, I’ve just started following my heart. Whatever makes my soul smile – I do that. It has helped immensely and the negative cloud of energy that was surrounding me for the last couple of years has lifted and become lighter. I feel different, I love different and I am different.

For anyone wondering where I started with my ‘healing’ journey: I started with research. Find what works for you. Ask yourself where/when am I most happy? What am I doing in those times and who am I with? For me it was meditation and prayer. Followed by Writing and singing and playing guitar then practicing affirmations (Even if you don’t believe what you are telling yourself in the beginning; it’s okay you will eventually.) I have been finding a few minutes a day to do at least one of these things just to feed my spirit. Mine is a wandering spirit, meaning I can be happy just about anywhere. The who – I am still trying to work that one out: I have so many friends. Haha. After researching on yourself, reading about the world you live in and what tools are available to you for a better existence. Also, stop giving a fuck what people think about you. Releasing people’s expectations and opinions has really been a challenge for me but every day I get better at it and I am all the happier for it.

The things I have been reading about and trying are a hit and miss. But all in all I say believe in yourself and trust the call that’s beckoning you to life.

Later this week, I am going to talk about my experience with depression and Mental Health illness and its connection to my art.

In the meantime: You can check out my newest book Little Girl Blue available in the following stores:

Amazon

KOBO

Apple Books

Barnes&Noble

The Journey Of the Creative: A poem

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 12 Jun 2020 12:21:00 +0000

The journey of the creative

It’s a curse

To notice the way sunflowers sway with the moon

Even though they don’t like him

I see heaven’s smile in the sky sometimes

And rename myself thankful

For life is but a nightmare and a dream

A nightmare that is my dream

The breeze blows through my hair and I become weightless like a dandelion

I’m flying through the minds of all those who’ve hurt before

Looking through to my past life as a Spanish doctor

Loving and true

Hips wider that her guitar she dances every night to calm her relatives

I’m flying into a future where skyscrapers are not high enough to reach my hopes

Twinkling adventures in a city I’ve never been

Secret love affairs I have yet to encounter but have already felt and cried for

Crying leads me into the ocean

There I swim with the jellyfish

Find peace among the reeds and reefs

Smile and wake up alone in my bed

A dream that was once a nightmare

A nightmare that’s now my dream

Joy Is Found In purpose: My quarantine story

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Tue, 09 Jun 2020 06:11:00 +0000

Creativity from adversity

The nationwide lock-down has had in it, some unexpected turns in my life, some that I've yet to share. My thoughts and some of the experiences I've had. I've spoken about the journey of the creative before and have even written a poem about it, which I hope to share with you at the end of this week. It is the very theme of this blog. The story of the poet, the singer and the painter. That we find beauty in our struggles. We create from our life experiences and whatever we witness in our day to day.
My journey as a creative begun as a mere observer. I used to write about other people's experiences. My first novel was inspired by a song I heard once, a number of my poems are inspired by scenes from movies and celebrity interviews or simply from clouds I saw once on a cloudy day that presented themselves as a well curated metaphor that I just had to out down on paper. However my writing style has begun to change I no longer simply write from the creative spectator but since I am allowing myself to live my own life and actually be an individual I have brought my voice into my work. My stories are now a literary representation of events that occur in my own life. My poetry is based on my thoughts and emotions and every so often I dip back into the voice of those around me because I like switching perspectives.

Allowing my voice to be in my work has freed me from the fear of saying the wrong thing because I'm no longer representing the voice of the masses. It's my voice and only I can tell my story as accurately as it can ever be told. I don't think I've ever been as happy as I am now and I accredit that to one thing and one - honesty. Honesty in speech, honesty in feeling and in living. This honesty is represented in everything I produce, every project I'm working on and have yet to present, the conversations I have and most especially in my most recent collection: Little Girl Blue.

I have been writing so much and have found so much purpose in that this time spent at home living with, speaking and connecting with the people I admire has brought out so much good out of me and that is something I am so grateful for.

Thank you for reading. As always I'll ask you to leave a comment below; maybe tell me if you have anything that you are grateful for that was brought forth by the quarantine.
Check out my newest publication Little Girl Blue

Solutions and somethings to make you feel good :)

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 05 Jun 2020 10:00:00 +0000

I've spent most of this week trying to protect my energy. I am well aware of the things that were taking place in the world around me and I feel the need to say that for me, hearing about such news and seeing disturbing scenes such as the ones that have been all over social media is a norm. I am part of the percentage of people who fall into every category of discrimination there could ever be. I have had this conversation and you have too and it's been shoved in your face all week. For that reason this week blog post will not add to the stress and anxiety but instead I'm hear to give you something to smile about and perhaps some tools to help you out.

picture take from Pulse headlines

Earlier this week a friend of mine shared a tweet about helping to protect your energy and ease some of the anxiety during this time. I will link it below.

With that said, here's my cute story:

The last 7 days have been spent in a weird state of euphoria. I was just really happy. I remember being on the phone with my crush (Yes he called but that's a story for some other time, haha) telling him that I was so happy that it was suspicious. This isn't to say that the week didn't have it's share of ups and downs. In fact it had just as much fuckery as the last week (If not more, all things considered) but I found myself able to bounce back from that negative energy and continue on with my day.

Here are the things I've been doing:

I have been reading - A lot. and not just reading for the sake of it. but I've been reading on topics I am curious about things that get me excited and give me a reason to live. I've been researching my lifestyle choices, understanding my religion more and more. Honestly, writing about such topics has been such a pleasurable thing to do.

Next is meditation. No you don't have to spend three hours in your 'war room' seating like Buddha. I have simply been making time to breathe. Sometimes it's 5 minutes, sometimes it 2 hours. However long I need to calm myself down, consider my life, speak to God and connect with the universe within me. As well as being grateful, not only to the divine but to myself as well for taking time to pay attention to and take care of myself.

I have also been practicing honesty. This one is one that had my anxiety level spiking a little however I always felt better shortly after an honest conversation.

This one isn't going to make much sense but oh well: I've been drinking more water. I don't know but I'm sure it's helped in some way or the other. (lol)

Looking and listening to things that make me smile. I recently asked my friends to send me a bunch of memes and we spent a good portion of the night just snickering away and that was a very good exercise. And because I'm in such a good mood, I also dug up the old feel good playlist and that honestly helps keep the feeling good momentum.

The last one is my favorite because I feel like as much as I have benefited largely from the things above this has been a good source of joy. I have been speaking to the people I love. Just a regular conversation hearing about how their day has been and what they've spent the day doing. Even if it was the same thing they did yesterday it's still gives me a good shot of feel good hormones to hear from the people I love.

Lastly I was want to say, as important as it is to pay attention to all that's going on and be aware

and education others; it is just as important to not forget to take care of yourself. You don't have to feel pressured to take part in every debate occurring on social media or to post something or even say anything at all just because everyone else is. That stuff is exhausting. If you find yourself getting too emotional maybe it's time to log off Instagram honey and take a nap. Remember that you are loved and you matter and are deserving of life.

Protect your energy post:CLICK HERE

Some feel good music: Listen here

Some good Poetry: READ

Healing Images: Nature

As always if you'd like to purchase one of my books. Little Girl Blue Is now available on Amazon and Amazon Prime

Little Girl Blue: Bed Peace

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Thu, 28 May 2020 22:00:00 +0000

Bed Peace : Insomnia

The second poem titled Bed Peace in this collection. This one would take a less metaphorical stance it's predecessor that spoke about racial supremacy in interracial relationships. I am actually speaking about getting peace in bed. A peaceful night's sleep.

It's no big surprise that I wrote this poem on a night when I couldn't sleep but I think what bothered me so much is how I had no sensible reason to be up that night. I was not thinking about anything, I wasn't stressing, I had had a busy day and had gone to the gym at the end of the day. I had every reason to pass out as soon as my head hit the pillow yet here I was; eyes wide open waiting for something to hit.

I remember reading somewhere that peace was required for good sleep and it had me think: so if one has no peace in their heart could that be reason they would be tossing and turning and fighting to get some shut eye?

And perhaps it is true, that even if you do manage to close your eyes and dream, that somewhere in your subconscious there is no real rest and that's why you wake up tired or have an unpleasant dream. Or like me not even have the joy of sleeping at all.

No one has to preach about the effects of sleep on mental health, we've heard that speech recital. If you haven't it's coming for you soon and that's why this poem is in this collection. To remind us to pay attention to our sleeping patterns, to notice when something is wrong, so address it and find a way back to our Bed Peace.

Little Girl Blue: The Bilayer Of Existing

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Tue, 26 May 2020 08:09:00 +0000

Backstory

I purposely put this poem after 'A Sad Poem' in the collection to enforce the idea that was expressed at the end of poem 1. That idea was 'I am going to continue writing about sad topics if I feel like it.'

The Bilayer Of Existing is a poem about how hard life can seem sometimes and that at times you go through all the pain by yourself. It's not a facial expression or a change in diet or dressing sense that everyone can notice. When you cry there might not even be physical signs like tears and wailing but does that mean you're content with your reality? Nope. You find yourself fighting the good fight alone and it's painful but you continue.

I explore a few themes in this short poem, one of the most important is how there are other things that contribute to our lives than just the will to live. I strongly believe that if it was just about the will - a number of us would have opted to end it a while ago. But it's more than that. There's purpose, responsibilities like children and love for our family and friends. And perhaps those are just subcategories of will but whatever it is that keeps you on the struggle of of living - whatever gets you out of bed, that thing is precious. Even if it changes to something new every morning: it's doing you a great service by keeping you around.

And should you decide that nothing is worth living for - allow yourself to adopt the hope of those that surround you. Adopt their joy and fearlessness. Their 'will' will help you carry on on days that you don't want to.

The Bilayer Of Existing

There are silent cries

No tears, no noise, no heavy breaths

Yet inside your head you’re screaming

Because everything that can cause pain does

Every reason to live life is a curse

So you end it

But the prayers of a past life

Bring you back- each time

A mercy you once praised suddenly you won’t allow it to bring you joy

Because pain is all you know

It’s the cradle from where you won’t leave

It is only when you see this

That you realize what you’ve become

Then the tears well up and drown your vision

Till the tub is full and you’ve done one thing with your life:

You’ve faced and conquered your fear of hell.

To read this Poem and Many others find them on Amazon and Wattpad (Links in the side bar.) :) Thank you for reading. xx

The sacrifice of a dream

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 22 May 2020 11:02:00 +0000

As my dream of becoming a published author ebbs closer and closer, I'm finding increasingly difficult to balance my regular schedule with my writing.

Being a full time student and also a self published author is not all that the right of being called such promises. I've been having sleepless nights for a long time chasing after both dreams of becoming a scientist and a poet. Each dream demands so much from me and I willing give myself 10 thousand times over. Does it hurt? Yes. But it's so worth it.

Today I wanted to get you thinking about what you are doing in your life. It doesn't have to be a grand well planned out life purpose. Even if you think about the things you plan to do today, this afternoon, tomorrow. Are you investing who you are in those plans. Are you sacrificing anything to make it happen?

And sacrifice is a word that gets such a bad rep. My philosophy is sacrificing doesn't have to always hurt, especially if you ensure that you understand the mission. This coming weekend I'm putting my words into practice and by putting purpose in everything I invest my time in. Purpose in every study session makes staying up less painful. Purpose in every blog post inspires me to write some more content.

In my book Little Girl Blue I explore a little of the sacrifices I've had to make to be a creative and a conversationalist are shaping me to one day be a healer. That's purpose and it keeps me going.

To find your dream and chase after it with enough motivation to catch it, you have to be okay with the sacrifices that are required with each level up.

To read Little Girl Blue or any of my other works click here for more : My Books

Little Girl Blue: A Sad Poem

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Mon, 18 May 2020 12:00:00 +0000

A Sad Poem: Backstory

I'd like to think that most writers and or creatives are often faced with the choice of producing something that people will like verses what you want to produce. Sometimes, for the lucky, these are one and the same thing but other times, the conversation you want to have is not the one that will resonate well with your current audience. However I've learnt that, someone out there, somewhere wants to have that conversation with you so speak about whatever the hell you want.

A Sad Poem - simply titled- is my declaration of my stance as a creative. I remember a few conversations I've had with people where they ask me why I write such depressing poetry. The people around me claimed that this kind of literature was too sad for their liking and that it said a lot about the author. At the time I didn't want to be seen as a sad person, I did not write my poetry to make other sad either- I still don't. I started feeling terrible for producing such "depressing" content and wished I wrote happier poems, but you can't produce what you are not.
'Sad poetry' is what has helped me navigate through my depression. Be it my own poems or others' works. They gave me a place to belong when I didn't want to be anywhere else. Yes, on the surface it may sound like it's just an uncomfortable, somber conversation but it is these very conversations that heal us. They help us understand what we want. Who we are and where we'd like to go. And some of the things we say will make people frown, no one will like it when you speak about how you don't like something the first time. The second time though - they'll accommodate you; and we're all happy at the end.

I am determined to talk about the uncomfortable things that people around me don't want to talk about. Because me not saying I'm sad doesn't make me any less sad and that's what this poem is about. Say how you feel, to everyone (I focus on my parents in this piece) who will listen. Make your opinions known. Because trying to pretend like everything is fine to keep the peace when it's not doesn't heal you and in the end doesn't keep the peace anyway. You will explode. If anything, having these types of conversations, has opened a door for me to be closer to those around me. To know that my family understand mental illness, that they've all faced hardship. I'm not alone and I don't have to face life alone. They are beginning to understand and respect my choices as an individual and that would not have happened if I had simply kept quiet about how I feel towards certain things.

Look, initially the reception may not be welcomed, but it's your story not theirs and if they don't take it as is: someone else will.

If you liked this, please leave a comment below and if you'd like to read Little girl Blue: Wattpad Preview or Buy the Book

Little Girl Blue: The process

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Thu, 14 May 2020 09:46:00 +0000

I often like to tell people that most of my poetry just comes to me...

And after some years of stocking up on poetry collection after poetry collection I don't think I'll reach the level of pressuring myself to write something new for publishing purposes. I have so much in store for my readers that it's literally me just giving you guys a chance to breathe after every publication.

Little girl Blue is one that couldn't wait. I remember sitting with a friend of mine one day going through some of my previous works that are still to this day unreleased. We read through a few of the poems and he went "Damn, which one is this one?" I proceeded to tell him that it was a collection I wrote when I was like 15 and even reading it now it's still content that I would like others to see. A message I still want to get out there, and I will share it soon but this wasn't the right time.
Little girl Blue is a collection that I'm publishing right after completing it. It is a story that I wanted to share with the world about my current state of being and the reason it was so important for me to get this message out there now is because for the first time in what feels like my whole life; I am being honest with me about myself and what I like and how I live as well as how I've lived. I have reached that level as a creative where I find it important to have people hear ME speak.
I will say that I've shown this collection the most love. The effort put in, from the editing, re-editing, paying someone to edit again and the removal of some poems to the removal of stanzas etc, showed how I understood the weight I had placed on the collection. Being that it was going to be the first collection people had to pay for to read and review and own. It had to be perfect. I did my best to make sure it would be as close to perfect as possible. And this is not to say that I didn't try for my other publications, I most certainly did. However Little Girl Blue is the second collection after 3002 Synonyms For Goodbye, that speaks largely of my own personal experiences with the topics I like to explore in my writing. Not speaking from the perspective of a creative trying to be relatable or to speak of issues arising and being faced by those around her, which are what my previous collections mostly consist of.

This is one is my voice screaming from behind the curtain. This is why it had to get out there. People were finally hearing me speak, not about everything else for a change, but about me. My love life, My relationship with my parents, my depression and anxiety, my God and my heartbreak. And that's why it's so important to me.

I think LGB is very raw, and despite my writing style that mostly personifies and represent everything in a metaphor, I believe it's one of those 'easy to understand the subject' collection. I am not telling a tale. There is no introductory poem, plot line and diffusing ending poem. It's random- like life is. Each experience I speak about is as it happened. As I felt it. As I saw it. And that's why I love it and hope that all my readers will enjoy it as much as I do.

Little Girl Blue Preview

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Sun, 10 May 2020 10:00:00 +0000

Read My New Book!

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Sat, 09 May 2020 17:09:00 +0000

Run from 3002 Synonyms for Goodbye

He keeps warning me of the bad person he is
Reminds himself of the times he’s been selfish
Of the hearts he’s broken
And the dried up wound he once gnawed open just to sprinkle salt over it so it could burn again

Tells me,
To be careful
Reminds me to buckle up
Or perhaps run away before the pain gets too much for me to handle
What he doesn’t know
Is I’m worse

I am the hurricane without cold front
The man flu without the first shiver
The shark bite without the fin above the water
The cancer without the lump

I come like a wild fire
Refusing to be tamed
Inside me is a hungry lioness that only eats your pain
And when she bites she opens up her heart so freely
You think its Love-It looks like freedom
You get blinded by the magnificence you forget you’re looking at sharp teeth
And an empty stomach

When she feeds
She feeds selfishly, leftovers are for the broken
She will never be broken
But in the end someone has to be
So maybe this time it just might be him

3002 Synonyms For Goodbye: The Love letter

noreply@blogger.com (RB Gono) — Fri, 08 May 2020 14:14:00 +0000

3002 Synonyms For Goodbye

It was October around 3am. I took a look at every poem I had ever written for this boy and I thought I don't want these.

But they were so beautiful and personal and he had never seen them either. So I thought what if I gave them to him. A farewell gift. At that time I had copied 3/4 preexisting poems into a word document. Immediately I wrote 3 more. A few days after that, the poems just kept coming to me, everything I wanted to say. Everything I felt. Issues I needed reviewed and didn't quite understand myself. I even included some lyrics that reminded me of him and expressed how I felt as well. The original document had exactly 3002 words on the dot. When I reached that mark, I paused, named the document and turned the file into a pdf and decided to sleep on the idea of printing and sending the letter by mail.

Surprisingly, no one has really ever asked me why 3002 was the number I chose. But here's the reason anyway;
the year is 2019, a couple months after the most recent Avenger's movie dropped. Everyone is expressing their love for their significant other with the words spoken by Tony Stark's only child "I love you 3000". He had used this one on me many times. I used to always say a regular "I love you more/most" but one day I threw back an "I love you 3002". And in a humorous over dramatic manner just the addition of loving someone 3000 times PLUS 2 was a grand gesture. So it become our thing and that's where the number comes from.

If you're wondering why the publication ended up only being 8 Poems, it's because the others were way too personal. So I chose the ones that I wanted people to read for their enjoyment. where I felt that from a writer's perspective, they were a very creative and excellent use of the English language. Some were even edited for emphasis and performance purposes because it just sounded better.

Above anything, I would like people to understand that some of the topics I speak about in this book are very explicit. Some of the events didn't necessarily occur but the poem is more of an expression of my fears of what could happen should me and said individual find ourselves in a certain situation. In the original this was explained and the person the letter was addressed to understood any and all references. It was unnecessary to include it in the collection.

If anyone is wondering, I didn't mail it. Instead we met for coffee
and I gave it to him personally.