I’m not being honest in my writing.  Not telling lies dishonesty – more your garden variety holding back type of dishonesty. Some of my holding back has to do with being polite and not offending as well as the desire to be nice. Not that there’s anything wrong with being nice or polite – both are useful – just not useful in my writing.

It’s ironic – writing is about self-expression and here I am inhibiting myself.

I can see I’m at a crossroads. Unless I open up and speak my truth (for better or worse) I will never be able to connect with readers the way I want to. More than that – I’ll continue to struggle with this block because my creativity is stubborn and has issued an ultimatum: “let go and open up or i’ll continue with the go slow tactics”.

That’s cool. I guess it’s all part of my evolution as a writer. I’m going to have to manage all of the above along with the obvious fear of genuinely expressing myself and the fear of rejection.

By the by – I’d like to share this link (sorry, having problems with the link function…just cut and paste).
http://www.allisonwinn.com/ask-allison/2009/11/3/a-word-to-the-wise.html

I know a lot of writers who are revving up for the holidays. Some of them are offering their books as gift-wrapped bundles at special prices. Some of them are doing special holiday contests on their blogs. Many romance writers seem to do this one, and often it involves readers going on a bit of a blog tour as the writers do a group contest. One woman I know is gearing up to sell her books at Holiday craft sales.

I have done the holiday contest thing. It was fun, but I didn’t really see an uptick in sales. As for the special price on both of my books, gift wrapped, I don’t think my publisher would be too happy.

I haven’t done the holiday craft shows mostly because the only local craft shows that I know about seem to involve art juries deciding who gets to participate. Still I’m going to look into it, because the writer who is doing it seems to have a pretty good success rate at it.

So what am I doing? I’ll be doing a podcast on Monday at 5:00 central on Murder, She Writes and I’m hoping to do a bit more blog touring. I’m still trying to arrange some local things.

The thing is, not much in the way of advertising is going to influence my buying patterns this year. I’m going to be fairly practical and very frugal (read that as cheap.) In a year where many of us had to stretch to pay the mortgage, I’m thinking I won’t be alone. But hey, I’m always open to any suggestions on promo.

Cover page of the Children of Tamal

One of the hardest parts in writing Sci-fi/ fantasy, for me anyway, was knowing where to draw the line between providing enough information about your version of the world for readers that they understand and yet not flood them with irrelevant and boring data.

You can work out the full political system, but do they need to know that the Council only rules in the King’s stead while he is mad? Maybe. Do they need to know that it is the Council that determines whether or not the King is mad? Eventually, especially if the plot involves him trying to reclaim his throne. But when, where and how? These are questions you always need to ask.

So what are the alternatives? Here are  few examples of how.

• Third person observation – his reading of the fading calligraphy gave him but one answer, it was the Council that decided the King’s ability to rule.
• Third person conversation – upon reading of the crumbling scrolls, the ambassador looked across and his friend, “It looks like it is the Council that decides.”
• First person thoughts – “So how would he prove himself sane to those that stood to lose the most by it?”

Sometimes the where takes care of itself. If the opening scene is the King’s determination to return to his rightful place as ruler, then start telling them right away. If you mean it to be the final plot twist, then near the end makes sense.  But you can foreshadow – i.e. give hints.

Foreshadowing can be difficult. It often makes sense to you, but for those that haven’t spent ages immersing themselves in your world, it can be a confusing irrelevance that stops them reading long before the actual moment is in play.

The best advice I was ever given by my editors was to give it to a friend to read. Someone that will be ruthlessly honest and hasn’t ever heard you ramble on about the world before. They can be hard to find, but well worth it. If your book is suitable, I find a twelve year old is a perfect blend of ruthless and is unlikely to have been listening to you even if you did talk about it. Maybe mine will still be that way when she is old enough to read my books. Sigh.

. As I have mentioned, I take an acting class. And this class has taught me to look at words in a different way. Or rather, listen to words differently.

It my seem obvious, but it’s worth stating – words are different when are spoken, and when written down.

For example, I was given a script to work on. My character seemed weak and subservient, but when I came to say the words out loud, the character changed. Still softly spoken, he now became stronger and assertive. It wasn’t me that changed him, the words aloud had changed him.

Actors know this of course. One of the reasons why Macbeth has been considered an unlucky play was that, for centuries, people believed the witches spells were real spells. Written down, they were harmless, but once spoken – then they became powerful. (A perfect example of this is the Doctor Who episode with Shakespeare. For a sci-fi fan/Shakespeare fanatic lover of words like me, that episode was heaven)

Dickens stories were written to be spoken out loud. I can just imagine reading ‘The Signalman’, by the fire, on Christmas Eve (the traditional time for ghost stories). With his gift for timing, and accents, this dialogue heavy story must have been chilling (it’s pretty scary just written down). I’ve seen both Patrick Stewart and Simon Callow do a reading of A Christmas Carol (which is as close as I’ll get to seeing Dickens do it) and it gives a whole new depth and meaning to the story. Allusions and ironies, jokes and melancholy I’d never really noticed before were suddenly there, in the actor’s voice.

And that’s how I write. If I get stuck, I stand up and read it aloud. Not in a mumbling monotone either. I act my stories out. I become little Charlotte Bronte, perched on the edge of the chair, in her rain-soaked dress, peering at the stranger. Then I become the mysterious stranger, sprawled in the armchair by the side of the fire. (Subtle advertising there! Bet there’s a few of you who’d like to read that story now…)And I act out the scene. And when I’ve run out of the words (normally at the point Ive got stuck), I improvise. Improvisation is supposed to be an actor’s skill, but really, it’s writer’s skill. And when I start to act and improvise that story out, the story comes naturally.

I highly recommend acting out your story, especially if you are writing a lot of dialogue. What sounds fancy on the page can sound awful when written out loud, and a burst of improvisation in the heat of the moment could inspire some wonderful phrases. But close the door and curtains first you wouldn’t want anyone else to catch you!

I had another post planned for today but when I saw what Narelle had posted this week about doubt and how it kept her from writing, I had to scrap it. I think doubt is the biggest enemy we all face as writers whether we write fiction or non-fiction, whether we’ve had our books published or are just starting to write at all.

Doubt creeps in so easily, you don’t even notice it until you realize you haven’t written in a while. Then as Narellle did, you have to sit and think about why. Now if you and the kids have all had the flu and the washing is piling up and you don’t actually remember seeing your husband this week, though you must have connected in there somewhere between your job and his, you know why you’re not writing. That’s life. And chores and responsiblities will call your name. But if you think everything you’re writing is claptrap, and the world doesn’t particularly need another writer out there, and who are you to think you can write, anyway;that is just doubt, pure and simple.

The thing for me is not whether I think I’m the best writer out there–I know for sure I’m not. The deal is whether I think what I’m writing needs to be written. One woman I know knows her mysteries are needed because she has run out of stuff she likes to read. That works for her.

I know my stuff needs to be written, in part because domestic violence awareness is important to me. And it’s something I know about that a lot of people either don’t know, or haven’t much thought about. And if I don’t write it, who will?

I write in mystery format, because no one wants to be preached to yet most people don’t mind learning a few things along the way to being entertained.

I write because I feel better on the days I write than I do on the days I don’t. Even if all I write is this blog.

It’s not that I don’t feel the doubt. I do. It’s there when I’m writing, when I’m promoting, when I’m talking to a new writer who wants some tips. I mean, who am I to do this stuff?

But if I let the doubt silence me, who will speak up?

. My dance classes give me grace, and style, and free my creative spirit.

The books I read open up whole new worlds for me.

My acting class shows me how words on a page are utterly transformed when spoken.

The places I visit give me settings for my tales.

My hours at the gym occupy my restless body, so setting my mind free to roam.

The dreary journeys on the bus force me to dream.

My internet surfing tell me fascinating things I never knew – and spark the story.

The movies I watch move and inspire me.

My dull dull work fuels my burning desire to escape into my story world.

Every action, every step, every thought goes towards a story.

My disappointments transform into tears on page, writing my broken heart out.

My joys lend my pen wings, as I sweep across the page, creating my own world.

Even when I’m not writing, I’m writing.

I’m not writing, I’m not editing and I’m definitely not querying. 

I knew I was blocked but why?  This past weekend during an e-mail conversation with my blog sistas I found the culprit.

SELF DOUBT. 

Boring, pedestrian and overdone I know, but unfortunately very real and true for me. 

At some point, this insidious weed has taken hold of my creativity, my drive and my courage and strangled them into submission.

I’m going to share some of my private conversations in the hope that it will help others recognise self-doubt. 

Creativity: Let’s go do some editing.

Self Doubt:  It’s too hard.

Creativity:  Ok, let’s go write a blog entry then.

Self Doubt:  What are you going to blog about?  You haven’t done anything that resembles writing lately. 

Creativity: *Feels slightly panicked*

Self Doubt: Let’s wait til we’re ‘working’ again or until we have a publisher….or at least an agent.  Agent/publisher/published – that’s the only way to be sure that you have anything worth listening to and that your writing is any good. 

Creativity: Are you saying my writing might not any good?

Self Doubt:  Your writing is unsophisticated and really isn’t all that good.  I didn’t want to be the one to tell you but I think it’s my job.

Creativity:  Oh no.  I was afraid of that.

Self Doubt:   I Know.  *Raises eyebrows and pulls lips into a thin line*

Creativity: I can’t believe I ever thought I could be good at this.  How embarrassing…I’m so disappointed.  For a while there I really thought this writing thing was for me.  *sigh*.

Self Doubt: Lots of people think that – it never works out.  Don’t worry though, I’ll always be here with you.  Hey, let’s go and see what other people are doing on Facebook and then we can lay on the lounge and watch TV.             ….and we need to have a chat about your hair…..

Creativity: *Swallows lump in her throat, lowers her head and follows Self Doubt to Facebook*.

This conversation happens hundreds of times in hundreds of different ways but inevitably ends in me trawling through E-Bay looking for some item that will make all the difference (…difference to what, i’m not sure), or logging onto Facebook or laying down on the lounge watching TV. 

I know that this sounds like an obvious case of self-doubt when it’s written here in black and white but at the time the assertions made by my self-doubt sound reasonable and completely credible.  

It makes me want to scream. 

I’m not saying that this post will cure my self-doubt.  But awareness and acceptance will probably be the first steps in overriding it.

I wonder if any of you can relate or share tips for overcoming this type of doubt?

I used to do a bit of promo for other writers through Breakthrough Promotions. I found the job interesting because, I have no problem singing the praises of other writers.

A little trick I learned there is that you can use promotion to get more. For instance, if a writer had a radio interview somewhere, it was standard procedure to call bookstores in the area to tell them about the radio interview and ask about a possible book signing at their store. The implied promise, of course, (or sometimes the flat out statement) was that their store would be mentioned on the radio. It worked! Most of the time anyway.

I’ve been doing things similar to that since Safe House came out about a month ago–or trying to. For instance, my publisher was very busy all spring and summer and couldn’t give me a definite date when the book would be out. Consequently I could not even begin to arrange book signings until I had the book in my hand–literally.

This is very bad because when you are published, as I am, with a small press, booksignings are a way to get the store to carry your books. But signings usually have to be arranged months in advance so that the store can put the info in their flyer and advertise other ways.

So, without any advance arrangements for signings, I was afraid no one would carry the books. But when I got the interview with the local paper, I called my local Barnes and Noble (who had already turned me down on the signing) and told them about it. They immediately ordered the book, on the promise that I would mention it was there in the interview–which I did. One problem solved.

Tell me how you got creative with promotion. What did you do that helped you?

. Something that really riles me, as I try to get published, is the celebrity novel. You know, the book written by someone famous for something other than writing.

There are good celebrity novels. The ones written by Hugh Laurie, Stephen Fry and Charlie Higson, for example, are exceptionally good. But, to be fair, they did write before they famous, and they wrote a lot of their own material on their way up to the top.

And then of course, there’s Dick Francis, who started off as a jockey, and turned into a damn good thriller writer.

But then there’s Katie Price’s books (aka Jordan). Famous for not much more than stripping off a lot, and having a lurid private life, her books got onto the best seller lists. And no, they’re not good. They’re very very bad.

In France, a newsreader wrote a novel. It sold very well, and got good reviews. Then someone else copied the manuscript, changed the first two sentences and the title, and tried to sell it to a publisher. It didn’t get any interest. The hoaxer said this proved the original book had sold on the famous name of its author alone, and had nothing to do with merit.

It’s annoying, to try and sell a book that I truly believe is pretty good (British understatement, for non-British readers. That’s British language for ‘I think it’s fantastic!’) and fail, when bad books by famous authors are snapped up.

But I do have a consolation. Katie Price’s books, and all those other celebrity will only ever be judged on their name alone. When I am published, I will be judged solely on my merit. I hope the judgment will reflect well on me.

Okay, that interview I wrote about a couple of weeks back? Postponed due to illness–mine. I don’t know what that was–it wasn’t flu but it was nasty. So I finally did the interview this past week. And came up with a curious question for all of you.
The interviewer asked me who she could talk to about my books. Now aside from some writing friends spread around the country now (and my publisher and ocassionally you guys.) there is N-O body she could talk to about my books. The reason? Shrug. I just don’t.
Talk about them, I mean. Not to my (non-writing) friends, not to the people I attend church with, not even to my husband and kids.
Some part of me is probably afraid that I will somehow leak some of the power out of the story. Heck, I don’t know.
Some of my friends and the people I work with, don’t even know that I write. I know, I know. I’m supposed to talk it up–promote. But it’s just too awkward, too personal. And so I don’t.
Turns out the interviewer was pretty much the same. She doesn’t talk about her writing either. If someone asks, she tells them to wait and see how it comes out.
So I’m definitely curious. How many of you are like this? Do you talk about what you’re writing? Do you go into detail? Tell me!