Ruminations from the Temple

A Glass of Wine

2012-02-03T00:18:00.000-08:00

A glass of wine,
a little piano,
a bit of guitar.

Sweet strains of voice,
the simple sentiment
of a friend
pulls the desperate
out of a constant grip.
Stay strong, little one -
the Master must have a plan.

The taste on the tongue,
a whisper in the ear;
what would it take
to do the righteous thing?
To give comfort to the hurting,
to find grace and mercy
and compassion from deep within...

Appointed to roads
that are difficult to walk.
Paths wrought with danger
and stones set to stumble.
Be careful little feet
where you go,
for brutal callouses form
when arrogance is worn.
And we have all heard that
sin wraps tight as a garment.

A peek here
and a glimpse there;
and the sound of laughter
from across the room.
Last time to listen,
of that it is clear -
pain cuts like a knife
for the ear that can hear.

Understanding is at hand,
truth now clear as crystal.
Everything is revealed in it's time,
as has been thoughtfully written.
Glass pieces fall in place,
puzzle pieces fitly together
left to shatter in cutting shards
under the deceit of good intentions.
Preservation demands a price,
my friend,
and the burden is quite heavy.
Bear up, as it seems you have no choice...
for we all live as the deceiver's quarry.

A candle flickers
and peace is sought.
Ministering angels
bend close to listen
and hear the hidden tears of the chosen.
Uncork the wine and set the table,
tear the bread and share the meal...

with that glass of wine
and a little piano...
Perhaps it would cost too much
to do the righteous thing.
Is there an answer
in that glass of wine,
in the sweet sounds of the guitar?
Oh, how I want there to be.

Pray, dear one, oh do pray.
Bend the knee and wrap the tefillin,
for the Holy One sees it all,
knows it all,
owns it all.
And we wait for the promised rest -
oh yes, He will give us all rest.
On that day, there will be no more pain,
or secrets,
or grief over what was...
and is, still.

And what it is right now
is a glass of wine
and a little piano.
I will never forget so many things...
least of which
is that oh-so-sweet guitar.

Desire

2012-01-31T11:59:00.000-08:00

Have you truly ever considered, seriously, what you want? Or more pointedly, how you want to be treated?

No really...think about it. What is it that you most desire in your lifetime? A better paying job or a fat bank account? A reliable vehicle, or perhaps that really cool motorcycle that you have always dreamed of? Maybe it's a college degree or a masters, or one good hair day. So many, I know, constantly think about losing weight; do you desperately desire that you could fit into those size 8 jeans again? Perhaps, what you truly desire is simply a break from everyone's expectations. Ah, now that hits close to home, doesn't it?

Now, you may be thinking that what you want and how you want to be treated are two different trains of thought, but I disagree. Say you want that good hair day - why? Well, obviously you want to look good. But why? You answer, 'so others will find me appealing, attractive...' Again, I ask why? I would like to suggest that we wish to look appealing or attractive to garner respect and acceptance from others. Think how differently you would react to a nicely dressed man stepping out of his car to hustle to his place of employment vs. the unfortunate homeless man dressed in rags that desperately need cleaning. Which of those would you naturally respect more? I know, my example is extreme, but I hope you get my point. We are judged by our appearance, and we judge others, as well. We all intuitively know that fact and take steps to make some sort of statement with our appearance dependent upon how we want others to respond to us. All that to say what we want materially says something about how we want to be viewed by others, and by extension, how we want to be treated by others.

But, you say, I want to be more noble than that; I just want my children to be happy and healthy. Alright, that is good, but again I ask why? As a parent, I know full well that I am judged by how my children behave and by how they 'turn out'. Oh, I know...no one really wants to admit that, but I find it to be true. As young people, we judge the poor mother in the grocery store struggling with the toddler throwing a temper tantrum, or the family with multiple children going berserk in the restaurant. "When we are parents", we ignorantly say, "we certainly will train our children better than that. My children won't act that way..." And why do we say that? Of course we instinctively know that a child's behavior is a direct reflection of the parent's behavior and parenting technique. OK, so what about the homeschooler who proudly proclaims that their child scored uber-high on college entrance exams? Sure, they are proud of their offspring, but don't you think they are taking some credit for themselves? Of course they...we...are. Because we all want to be respected for what we have endured and accomplished; which ultimately affects how we will be treated and accepted by others.

I have heard it said that it is not thoughts of ambition, acquisition or accomplishment that occupy the last moments of our life, but it is a knowledge that we could have said more, given more...loved more. We regret that we could have been, should have been, more courageous, more honest...more real. In our human selfishness and in our pride, we miss what is most important...but, I digress. Let's get back to the question at hand, shall we?

I'll use myself as an example; what do I want most, or rather, how do I want to be treated by others?

First and foremost, I want to be respected as a fellow human. Basic respect is a good thing.

I want to be listened to.
I want to be loved.
I want to be appreciated.
I want to be cared for.
I want to be wanted and needed.
I want to be valued.
I want to belong.
I want to be accepted.
I want to be given the benefit of the doubt.
I want to be forgiven.
I want to be heard.
I want to be unconditionally loved.

I also want to be viewed a certain way: helpful, cheerful, honest, kind, understanding, loving, trustworthy, gentle, available, witty, smart, crafty, resourceful, compassionate, courageous, righteous...yes, righteous.

I don't think that I'm all that different from anyone one else...do you? I suppose not everyone wants to be witty, and there are some that do not desire to be righteous. But for the most part, I believe people are good and want to do the right thing - doesn't everyone want justice?

You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge
against your kinsfolk.

Love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD.

~Leviticus 19:18

Moses, recording the words of the Almighty Himself, makes it crystal-clear that we need to treat others as we ourselves want to be treated. To do that, don't we need to consider how we would like to be treated?

Moses is not the only one to record the command...

So whatever you wish that others would do to you,

do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets.

~Yeshua as recorded in Matthew

The Golden Rule, spoken by the mouth of Messiah. But, again, He's not alone in espousing this basic tenet of acceptable human behavior. Many different religions/philosophies strongly encourage their followers to follow this edict, as well. These would include Buddhism, Confucianism, Hinduism, Humanism, Islam, Platonism, Taoism, and more. You see, we all want to be treated as if we have value, therefore we must treat others in the same manner.

So, from my list above, I could make a list of how I need to treat my neighbor, my sister, my brother, my spouse, my friend, my children, and every stranger I meet, based on how I want to be treated:

I will respect others, first and foremost.
I will listen to others, for what they have to say is important.
I will show love and respect, because that displays the love of G-d.
I will show appreciation for their uniqueness and special traits.
I will care for others and what happens to them, showing compassion.
I will show others that they are needed and wanted, however I'm able.
I will let others know that I value them as fellow sojourners in this life.
I will show others that they belong, as much as I have opportunity.
I will accept others into my life, as the LORD brings them across my path.
I will think the best about others, always giving them the benefit of the doubt.
I will give forgiveness for sins and hurts against me, for this glorifies the Father.
I will make every effort to hear others, for they deserve to be heard.
I will diligently try, to the best of my ability, to unconditionally love others.

Wow. That's a tough list. The one thing that stands out to me is that I have to put others before myself in conversations, in actions and in everyday life. Can I do that? Is it even possible to shift the focus off myself and onto others?

Yeshua said that loving others is the Torah.
And I am absolutely convinced that the unselfish love that flows from one to another is the manifestation of G-d here on earth.

So, what do you desire? How do you want to be treated?
I challenge you to make a list, and then flip it as I did above. Would your list look different from mine? Are you willing to commit to treating others as you would like to be treated?

I, for one, am willing to give it a shot. Not for the sake of nobility, but for the sake of obedience and honoring the Master. For, if I claim to be a believer in the Most High G-d, I don't see a choice in the matter. But, beware; if you behave in this manner, you will garner hatred and envy, to be sure - there is a high price to be paid for loving others when some choose differently. But, in the end, I have to believe that the reward is so much greater than the cost.

That which is hateful to you, do not do to your fellow.

That is the whole Torah; the rest is the explanation; go and learn.

~Talmud

Up in a Blue Velvet Sky

2012-01-29T17:50:00.000-08:00

Do you find it strange to think that at the precise moment that you are looking at the moon, someone miles away is admiring the same view?

Does it make you feel small and insignificant...does it fill you with awe and wonder?

Do you think that it sure must be cold on the dark side or hot in the light?

Did you think, when you were younger, that there was a man in the moon? Or that it was made of cheese?

And what about the stars that keep the moon company in a blue velvet sky?

Do you think about how far away they are or why they twinkle?

Do you think about other planets that may be alive because of those stars or ponder the dead stars we cannot see?

Do you dream of traveling beyond the moon, or think of those who could?

When I see the constellations, I feel rather ignorant of the specifics...do you feel ignorant, too?

Do you feel compelled to sit and wait to witness a shooting star or a passing satellite?

What is it about looking at the moon and stars, up in the night sky, that prompts so many questions?

Is it because what we can see is so far away? Or is it because what we can see is so stunningly beautiful while common at the same time?

Do you stand in the cold, clear winter night to contemplate these things, or do you just give it a cursory glance as you hurry in with your groceries and kids in tow? And do your kids walk to the door with their heads tipped backwards looking at the skyward show?

Does anyone ever sit long enough to learn secrets from the moon and stars?
Does anyone ever sit long enough to learn...
Does anyone ever sit long enough...
Does anyone ever sit...
Does anyone?

Or do we rush by and not take in G-d's handiwork?

Do you ever wonder about the moon and think it interesting that someone miles away can be looking at the same moon at the same moment, wondering the same things?

I do.

Three things cannot be long hidden:
the sun, the moon, and the truth.

Grateful Friday

2012-01-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

just do it.

I'm grateful for my dear, dear friend Lisa. She never falters, always right next to me no matter what - unconditionally. She was kind enough to share some of her 'gratefuls' today for our Friday get-your-mind-in-the-right-place post...thanks Lisa!

I'm grateful for a couple of days of warm sunshine after snow, ice, rain, and extreme grayness.

I'm grateful for a day to celebrate our friend's birthday - lots of laughter, fun pics and good food!

I'm grateful that Larry gets more overtime this week!

I'm grateful for clear roads and the fact that I can get out of my driveway easily now.

I'm grateful for Big Pharma ♥♥♥

I'm grateful for those times when the L-rd reaches down and lifts me out of myself to worship Him.

I'm grateful for time without obligations.

I'm grateful for friends who love me just the way I am and don't put difficult and unfair expectations on me.

I'm grateful my bestie no longer has endrometriosis and fibroids, AND has an awesome doctor! (and Tay is happy he has a healthy mom!)

Dr. Estelle Yamaki

As I just had my first post-op appointment with the best doctor in the whole-wide world, I am so very grateful for modern medicine, a way out of deep depression and anxiety, and robotic/laparoscopic surgery techniques that made recovery so much quicker. What a marvel! I am thankful for St. Joe's hospital and all the staff there, for all my beloved family and friends who attended to me both in the hospital and at home, for those same people that told me to sit down when I needed to recuperate (they were rather bossy, actually), and for the miracle of healing afforded us by the Holy One.

I'm thankful for Netanya - happy birthday, my sweet friend!

I'm thankful for good studies and time to meditate on what I've learned.

I'm thankful for long underwear!

I'm thankful for Subway sandwich shops - what in the world did we do without them?

I'm thankful for my new coffee pot when the last one crapped out.

I'm thankful for cats that never fail to entertain.

I'm thankful for thrift stores and the funny things you see in them - you can learn so much about our culture by just perusing a thrift store!

I'm thankful for SUNSHINE!

I'm thankful for fresh air, clean water and goodnight kisses from my boys.

I'm thankful when things go well.

I'm thankful when the car defrosts quickly.

I'm not so grateful for being heart-sore for so, so very long, but I am grateful for my G-d, Who is in charge of all things, always.

I'm thankful for birthday gifts that save my skin.

I'm thankful for the beautiful vest that we found yesterday - I love it!
Thank you, thank you, thank you!!

I'm thankful to be able to be part of a choir of loving, caring and welcoming believers - the Life Center Choir is absolutely incredible, and it is a complete honor to be able to stand with them and contribute.

I'm thankful for comfy sweats, fuzzy blankets and portable heat dishes.

I'm thankful when I hear from a friend I haven't talked to for a while.

I'm thankful to have things to look forward to!

I'm so grateful to be able to support and care for others who have been hurt.

I'm thankful for insightful comments to my blog posts.

I'm thankful for compassion.

I'm thankful for laughter...and this blog post.

I'm thankful for my speaker-phone-thingy in my car.

I'm thankful for the 365 photo challenge - how fun!

I'm thankful that I had an extra memory card when someone forgot hers at home.

I am thankful for the beautiful, clear sky last evening - the stars were incredible!

I'm thankful that tomorrow is Shabbat.

So...what are you thankful for this week?

Staying Alive in a Religious Congregation

2012-01-24T13:12:00.000-08:00

trying to uphold Torah

I've learned a few hard lessons being a part of a 'close-knit', believing community. Since I am one of many who have been cut-off from their communities/family as if they were dead, I'd like to share a few nuggets of advice to facilitate 'staying alive' and continuing within the bounds and bonds of organized religion.

1. Don't blog or participate in any type of social internet media. Sharing your thoughts publicly is a definite no-no, and causes others to stumble as they read your statuses or blog posts with a critical eye, ever looking for things to use as ammunition. This is definitely your fault, no matter how well you write or how much you espouse righteous living. You could be writing great stuff, but believe me, it won't matter one iota.

2. Don't serve selflessly. This will definitely make others look bad, especially if you are gifted in the area of service. Making others look bad, or feel guilty for their not serving, is a death sentence and an invitation for harsh criticism and mocking (behind your back, of course). And, don't look for anyone, especially anyone in authority, to bring forth truth or reason - it just doesn't happen.

3. Keep to yourself. Others don't want to know and really don't care how you feel, especially if you have differing perspectives or life experiences that don't quite match up to the prevailing idea of righteous living.

4. Don't give. Again, you definitely run the risk of making others look bad. Oh, except giving your money - you can most certainly do that. Amazingly, you could even gain yourself a little bit more weight to your voice if you do, but that may be only if you give the optimal ten percent of your income or more.

5. Don't make yourself vulnerable or transparent. No one wants to know you or get to know you on a personal level...just face it. Oh sure, they may say that the congregation is family or use the catchy term 'community', but it's all on the surface. One misstep on your part and you will be considered questionable and untrustworthy, even despite your service, actions or blatant care for others.

6. Don't make mistakes. Pious, righteous people do not make mistakes. And, don't talk about any past mistakes, either, especially if they are before you were 'saved'. Once a mistake-maker, always a mistake-maker. And, just for the record, mistakes certainly include what kind of music you listen to, movies you watch, what books you enjoy, how you exercise and how much time you spend with friends.

7. Don't care about other people's problems or want to help them. Are you kidding me? Why in the world would you want to care for someone out of the kindness of your heart? Again, making others look bad is a most egregious sin, and sets you up for scrutiny and mocking-fodder for after-hours back-room discussions.

8. Don't think being kind, honest, willing, giving and humble will get you anywhere. You are just wasting your time to listen attentively, apologize humbly, and care deeply about anything or anybody, especially reconciliation and restoration. Expressing love in this way doesn't work. This just isn't the way of the most pious, righteous ones, so just forget it. In fact, it will work against you, as it will be interpreted as false and manipulative. Truly, do yourself a favor and just keep your mouth shut.

9. Don't call others to righteousness when sin is witnessed. Well, you can't, but the more pious in your congregation can, especially if they have special privileges. You will know who they are. The best thing to do in this situation is just to look the other way to preserve what you receive from attending. You can put up with a little unrighteous and injustice so your kids can play with their friends, right? The answer is yes, especially if it doesn't affect your family.

10. Don't bear one another's burdens (aka don't listen). This, in all it's forms, is considered lashon hara (gossip). Talking with others about the hurt and pain in their lives, for whatever reason, is taboo. The best thing to do is to tell the hurting person that you are very sorry, but you cannot listen to gossip, especially if the painful situation involves someone else in the congregation.

11. Don't talk to the opposite gender. This is most assuredly the fastest way to get ousted. If not right away, eventually someone is either gonna fall for you, or you fall for them. This is because of the little known fact that women cannot think for themselves and inevitably fall for any man who casts his eye their way. Oh, and it's the women's fault, as well, if they are attractive in any way, since men can't help but to be attracted, in a sexual way, to any female that is even remotely good-looking. No wonder the ultra-orthodox separate men and women.

12. Don't help or support leadership. First of all, they don't need your help. Secondly, you will be seen as an opportunist and status-seeker. Worst of all, you could find yourself in the unfortunate situation that is spoken about in #11 above. But, take heart; remember that even if leadership refuses to talk to you, you can still bless them through prayer and good wishes...or so I've heard.

13. Don't be a less-than-traditional family. No, you cannot be respected, serve in any capacity or hold any position of authority if you and your spouse are not both attending, regardless of the situation. If your family is unable to be regular givers and/or you allow your girls to wear jeans to service, you can also just forget it. Being single doesn't help you much either - sorry, but you don't have a voice at all. If you are a single male, watch out because you will always be under scrutiny as a creeper unless you grow a beard and make a lot of noise about wanting to be a leader someday.

14. Don't try to make things better. Who do you think you are, anyway? Things were going along just fine when you arrived and your ideas are just, well, arrogant and self-serving. The only ones who can call the shots are those that have been there the longest or have the ear of the ones in charge. Just sit back, watch the chaos and chalk it up to entertainment.

15. Don't think you hear from the LORD. If you are not in leadership, you don't. Even if requested to pray for important decisions within the congregation, keep your personal revelations to yourself, unless you wish to have your faith questioned and/or mocked. What you feel you heard from the LORD is not important. What is important is that you show up for congregational meetings to make the required quorum and that you vote with the majority. And don't even think of approaching leadership with any type of warning you may have received in your prayer time (you don't really have discernment, do you?); it is simply a waste of your time and makes you look like a loon in the process.

16. Don't be needy. Hopefully, nothing happens in your life that is traumatic in any way. Depending upon who you are, you will get spotty to non-existent help. Pray that no one in your family dies, for even that isn't cause for sympathy past a Costco bunch of flowers and a card passed around the congregation. Hospital visits, nursing home visits and sitting shiva with those in pain is simply a necessary obligation instead of a good deed done out of kindness. And G-d forbid you are ever faced with a crisis of faith. To think you will be supported during your time of need is folly - do yourself a favor and don't expect it.

17. Don't assume friendship means the same to everyone. Betrayal hurts deeply, that's all. Be especially careful who you call friends and who you don't. 'Nuff said.

18. Don't love. Unconditionally, or otherwise. Love is to be given only to spouses and children...period. Never mind what Scripture says, love is a super-charged word reserved for romance only, and if you use it to describe relationships of friendship with anyone, it is completely and totally inappropriate. You know well the greatest command, I'm sure; love G-d and love your neighbor as yourself as long as you are related to them by blood.

Yes, these are pretty harsh lessons, to be sure; I'm positive I could add more. I certainly don't want to sound bitter or resentful, but I just can't help to be so very disappointed in the religious experiences I have had and witnessed. I'm not pointing my finger at any one person or congregation; believe me, it happens all over. Has my faith been shaken as a result? Absolutely not. I believe and follow the Holy One and the truth spelled out clearly in the Scriptures, striving to live it out, with love, every minute I have breath. However, my faith in organized religion continues to erode to a dangerous level as I watch family after family being slaughtered in what should be safe places of refuge.

Shame on religious leadership that allows such atrocities to continue. Shame on congregation members who look the other way, refusing to listen and stand up for righteousness to fulfill their obligation to hold leaders, and each other, accountable. It begs the question; is the traditional congregation the way our LORD had in mind for fellowship of His people? Or is it the smaller, home-fellowship that feeds, teaches and sharpens His servants? People are people, and I have no answer, but it is a question I'm grappling with. Small congregations cannibalize themselves floundering in self-righteousness, legalism and the desperation of keeping out the riff-raff while larger congregations tend to be shallow and impersonal, failing to make the personal connections needed for edifying fellowship and discipleship. Like I said - I have no answers.

I long for community so deeply it physically hurts. I desire with all that I am to serve. I seek to unconditionally love and worship as we are commanded. But as long as we are all surrounded by those posing as pious while stabbing others in the back for the sake of their own goals, judging others harshly and cutting off fellow believers as if they no longer exist, I cannot foresee any reason to enter another congregation anytime soon.

Unfortunately, I am not alone.

Lookin' for Some Color

2012-01-23T22:12:00.000-08:00

What a wonderful day spent with friends - we chose to chase down some color in these grey days of January. How 'bout at a local favorite nursery?

What a week!

2012-01-22T09:23:00.000-08:00

Ice at daybreak...

Well, I thought I'd give an update...what an amazing week! Let's see if I can remember everything, or at least most of it...

It started to get dicey weather-wise last Shabbat - snow, snow, snow. Netanya bugged out of homeshul early to avoid the forecasted icy roads. And, yep...they got icy, alright!

the snowy view at Beit Henderson

Sunday, we were all watching the weather turn uglier and uglier.

Monday was our scheduled day to take Rosa to Monroe for a family visit. Monroe is a good hour and fifteen minutes away from us, not factoring in traffic...or the weather. We, (Lisa, Netanya and I) managed to get her up there and dropped off, despite snow coming down, especially in Monroe. On our return trip, we had the pleasure of stopping at that really cool antique store to poke around and take pictures. When we stepped out of the store, the snow had really started to come down. We beat it home.

Tuesday morning saw me walking around my yard capturing the melting snow, but that sure didn't last. The news was predicting some nasty, nasty weather headed our way, and by the end of Tuesday, I asked Lisa to come out and stay in Puyallup. I sure didn't want her to get stuck out in Tahuya when we needed to still go retrieve Rosa! So, out she came.

We awoke Wednesday morning to a blanket of white - a thick blanket. Probably 5-6", at least. Beautiful and very, very cold. Sigh...the forecasters were saying it was going to get worse as the day progressed; but there was a bright spot...it was supposed to warm up on Thursday with a rain front moving in to push out the cold weather system dropping all the snow. So, when I couldn't get Speeder out of the driveway for our scheduled pick up of Rosa, all we could do was wait for her to contact us. She most certainly did when her ride wasn't waiting for her at the prison, that's for sure. After some logistics, the prison graciously allowed her another day with her husband in the visitor's quarters. What a blessing! So, all of Wednesday, Lisa and I enjoyed a lazy day in front of the fireplace with hot drinks, our laptops and great conversation.

Speeder stuck!

Thursday brought rain alright...freezing rain! It was incredibly beautiful but oh-so dangerous. The freezing rain had coated absolutely everything in a half inch casing of clear, sparkling ice. Everything. I've never seen such a thing...

The roads were as slick as an ice skating rink. But, since the freezing rain was supposed to turn to warm rain in the afternoon, we prepared ourselves with extra blankets, first aid kit, snacks and set out to pick up Rosa. Thankfully, we were able to pick up Barb along the way and off we went on a grand adventure.

look closely...that's ice!

The way up was a test in driving prowess; plowing through ice-encrusted snow, driving in rutted tire tracks on snowy, slick roads, avoiding downed power lines due to the ice damage (so many tree branches broken and down due to the weight of the ice), and ever-seeking the safest, flattest and most traveled lanes. And all this was the easy part! We did manage to find an open Starbucks, though...hurray!

outside the Starbuck's

When we arrived in Monroe, it was quite a bit snowier than when we dropped Rosa off, that's for sure. And, it had taken us twice as long to get there as normal - 3 hours in the snowy conditions left my nerves a bit jangled, for sure. We arrived at 4pm, but Rosa wasn't 'processed out' for another hour and a half. By the time we got her in the vehicle (which was an adventure of parking here to wait, then going to a different place to wait at the prison's direction, getting stuck on a snow-covered hill, and trying not to get stuck tight in the deep snow), it was dark. Oh goody. We were facing a icy, snowy trek back involving not only snow covered freeways, icy overpasses and insistent, cocky truckers, but backroads and sidestreets that were so covered with snow that I couldn't see where the road ended and ditch began. And so, with Rosa safely in Speeder, we started for home.

We chose I-5, since it was the most traveled. We got onto the freeway well enough, but as we headed south, things quickly went 'south'. Once we hit Shoreline just north of Seattle, it was most definitely a test of my icy driving skill, as we fishtailed all the way from north of Seattle to just north of Fife. I cannot even express the intense-ness of the situation - it was down-right dangerous. There were spin-outs every so often, and the truckers...oh, the truckers! They are so cock-sure that it makes driving with them on the road quite intense. They are so heavy that they can go faster on the ice, but that sure makes for a hazardous time for the rest of us little folk. You couldn't see any lanes, so everyone was staggered, speeds varying from 20 to 45 in some spots - gosh, that was harrowing. I was trying to stay on the snowy parts of the freeway as to avoid the ruts that were pure ice. Like I said, there aren't words to express the white-knuckle experience that was our drive home.

Once we cleared Federal Way and headed towards Fife, the snowy roads started to turn to slush, for the most part anyway. A much needed pit stop in Fife gave us some relief with food, hot coffee and a chance to get out and shake off some stress, then it was back on the road for more winter driving fun.

Good friends were waiting in Tacoma at Rosa's vehicle - which was such a blessing! They were going to make sure she got the rest of the way home safely, so she didn't have to drive in the icy-snow. We dropped her off and made for Puyallup...more fun awaited. Back to the icy streets, deep icy snow, broken branches and power line-issues. But, oh, there's more...we had lost power in the midst of the day. The kids were home with no power, and driving Barb home through neighborhood after neighborhood with no power is eery-creepy. No street lights, no house lights, just darkness...and dangerous-icy roads. We delivered Barb to her 45 degree house and we picked our way back to South Hill, where there was more snow awaiting us. Amazingly, we made it up the hill to the neighborhood, but gosh, the driveway was like pushing through clay. Frozen, dark and forbidding.

We made it. Finally.

Into the dark house, we set up the homeshul for no power - collect all the candles, matches, flashlights. Keep the fire stoked and get the food organized. Lisa stayed the night, obviously, and we camped out Thursday night, everyone trying to stay warm.

ice coated everything

these icicles look like tzitzit!

Still no power on Friday. After making the first foray to the grocery store (first two without power, finally got to Fred's that was operating on axillary power), Lisa needed to get home. Her car had to be de-iced (it was encased), then pulled out of the driveway, first with the quad (no luck), then with the neighbor's tractor. She carefully made her way home to Tahuya. Alex accompanied her, as they were going to get more wood (filled up her trunk), and pick up Jacob (who was home alone, but with power). Meanwhile, Morgan, Taylor and myself tried to go pick up a few more items needed for Shabbat.

Lisa's car encased in ice!

Netanya and Jim were absolutely stuck in their apartment in Lakewood with no power, so Jim was kind enough to bring her out in the wonder-van and drop her off for a hot shower (gas water heaters rock!) and company, as he booked it to his brother's powered apartment. Netanya, Morgan, Taylor and I cleaned up the homeshul and anticipated the return of Lisa, Alex and Jacob.

Unfortunately, the ice had closed the Narrows Bridge shortly after Lisa and Alex got across on their way towards Lisa's home. Not ice on the roadway, but falling ice from the overhead cables! So, they ended up adding 90 miles to their journey back to Puyallup having to backtrack and go south around Puget Sound and then back up through Olympia. Sheesh! They finally made it, unloaded the wood and we were all set for erev Shabbat. Even Barb made her way back to the homeshul for some fellowship after dinner.

Shabbat found us all scrambling to get things ready for a day of rest with no power. We had just gotten all situated when suddenly...power! It came back on...everything came back on! You should have heard the whoops and hollers coming from the electronic starved group that had gathered. We were thrilled, to say the least. Quick, get everything on a charger before we lose power again!!

But, we didn't lose power again. Shabbat was incredible, with much thankfulness for all that had taken place. We are still catching up with laundry, etc. after being with no power and lots of snowy clothes piling up. And what of my husband during this whole ordeal? Bless his heart, he was working his tail off - long hours, commuting in the treacherous conditions (one day it took him four hours to get home), and sleeping in a frigid house with no power.

Well, all's well that ends well, I always say. More experience for me driving in winter conditions. More things to be thankful for, most definitely. We managed to facilitate Rosa having her quarterly visit with her beloved hubby and the fellowship on Shabbat was some of the sweetest I've tasted.

Yes, thank the LORD...for us, things ended well.

Grateful Friday...um, Saturday

2012-01-21T18:16:00.000-08:00

So, as you can see, I'm a bit late on our Grateful Friday post for this last week. Unfortunately, or perhaps fortunately, we lost power in a rather severe winter storm that saw dips in temperatures, beautiful snow and pelting freezing rain. In these times of surviving without our beloved electricity, internet and cable television, we are given the unique opportunity to appreciate the more simple, but wonderful, blessings in our lives.

As we sat enjoying the erev Shabbat in a candle-lit family room (aka homeshul) warmed by a crackling fire, we utilized the last of the juice on my laptop to record our thankfulness and for that which we are grateful as we came through the storm.

We ultimately thank the Holy One for taking us through the dark times, never forsaking us and for showing us what is truly important in this life - to love one another.

***

I’m grateful that we made it to Monroe and back in severe driving conditions..

I’m grateful for the homeshul…even without power.

I’m grateful for candles

I’m grateful for Alex Michael.

I’m grateful I got my car moved before that tree limb came down.

I’m grateful for the times when Jim did venture out, he was safe.

I’m grateful we stayed warm despite not having power.

I’m grateful for a hot shower.

I’m grateful for Morgan’s sense of humor.

I’m grateful for steady nerves.

I’m grateful that Rosa got home safe, thanks to D & K (& I, too!)

I’m grateful for a whole week off!

I’m grateful I’m not stuck on the other side of the closed bridge.

I’m thankful for alternative routes.

I’m thankful for battery powered music sources.

I’m thankful that HaShem got us through the storm safely.

I’m thankful that no branches or trees came down damaging houses.

I’m thankful for hot tea, wonderful wine and singing Shalom Aleichem in the candlelight.

I’m thankful for the Starbucks we found open along our treacherous trek to Monroe.

I’m thankful for toast toasted on the fireplace and vanilla pudding (and grocery stores that offer all types of food that we can eat without cooking!)

I’m thankful for a warm fire, warm candlelight and awesome friends who are willing to come from their powered homes to my un-powered one.

I’m grateful to be able use our official homeshul candlesticks for the first time!

I’m grateful for AAA tourbooks.

I’m grateful for great theological discussions with fellow believers.

I’m grateful for all the nice prison personnel.

I’m grateful to look forward to a road trip and a visit from a far-away friend.

I’m grateful my brother and family took in my mother when the power went out – it freed me up to accompany friends on a mitzvah.

I'm grateful for the sharing of joy with fellow outcasts.

I’m grateful for McDonalds – not just for comfort food but for clean bathrooms.

I’m grateful for seasoned wood – thanks Lisa!

I’m thankful for the warmest booth in the restaurant.

I’m thankful that even with the power out, our apartment is still pretty warm – it is probably pretty well insulated.

I’m thankful for locating tiny screws and tiny screwdrivers that can fix glasses at most critical times.

I’m grateful for cameras to record the amazing ice and snow storm.

I’m grateful for all the things I was able to do prior to the power going out.

I’m grateful for ipods and car chargers.

I’m grateful for the beauty of icicles.

I’m grateful for young men who help out.

I’m grateful Tay got his package in the mail today.

I’m grateful to be able to work from home.

I’m oh-so-grateful for the homeshul!

I’m grateful for now…

and not then.

I’m grateful for cats.

I’m grateful to be known as trustworthy and loving.

I’m so thankful for printed parashah notes and a whole afternoon solely available for studying Scripture.

I’m grateful for a friend who takes in strays…

I’m grateful we don’t have this kind of weather all the time.

I’m grateful for Jim bringing over my friend to spend time with me.

I’m thankful for those that put others needs (and wants) above their own.

I’m grateful for my neighbor Gary who voluntarily plowed our driveway, and then called to see how we were doing in the freezing weather.

I’m grateful for the neighbor who pulled my car out of the driveway with his tractor.

I’m grateful that the LORD was right with us during the roughest, hardest road that we travel, even when it's dangerous.

I’m thankful for lineman who are willing and able to repair broken lines.

We are all thankful for warm rain.

I’m thankful for snow plows and sand…salt is good, too.

I’m grateful for chonga bagels (oh so yummy!).

I’m grateful that my lens cap was found.

I'm grateful for a macro lens on my camera.

I'm so happy that we were able to have a wonderful, power-free erev Shabbat.

So, the Chaverim asks you...what are you grateful for this week?

Strive

2012-01-17T10:20:00.000-08:00

We strive for stuff.

Innocent pretties, or that electronic transfer that equates to a new gadget.

We take pride in our clothing, our surroundings, our transportation.

We revel in our hobbies, our pastimes and our achievements...
all made possible as a result of our striving.

Striving for the perfect position, the appropriate look, the next accomplishment to add to the resume.

We strive to learn a craft, to gain knowledge and the skill to teach it to someone else...which ultimately makes us look pretty good, right?

We strive to lose weight and quit smoking.
To do the right thing, or at least the clever one.
We listen for opportunities to sound smart,
to be funny,
to be the center,
to be included.
Striving. We all do it.

We can have so much, do so much, and know so much.
Wouldn't you agree?

We are blessed with the necessities and beyond more.

But.

"If I have the gift of prophecy, and know all mysteries and all knowledge; and if I have all faith, so as to remove mountains, but do not have love,
I am nothing."

"If I speak with the tongues of men and of angels, but do not have love,
I have become a noisy gong or a clanging cymbal."

but, do not have love...

I can have all things, all knowledge, all gifts, talents and skill.
I can have the perfect wife and the smartest kids,
the biggest library or the wonderful collection.
I can boast of my coveted community and all the traditions and sacraments,
with all the right prayers, the chosen people and the talent for instruments.
I can enjoy all the comforts and good health money can buy...

But.

If we don't have love, we have absolutely nothing.
Nothing.
Everything - all of it - is for naught.

And, I wonder,
if we have and give love...
love for our spouse and our kids,
for our close friends and extended family,
for our neighbor, co-worker or classmate;
If we have love for them,
do we not have a smidgen of the One we serve?
Do we not feel a fraction of the very essence
of the Holy One
when we give love?
Freely, openly, honestly.
Without taint or spot - innocent and pure.
Holy love of the Holy One.

"...teaching them to observe all that I commanded you; and lo, I am with you always, even to the end of the age."

I will be with you.
Lovingly with you, because you want Me to be with you.
Because I desire to be with you.
The G-d of the Universe sends His Messiah to earth,
and He states that He will be with us to the very end of the age.

Could it be that the way He is 'with us' is when we love?
The very substance of the One we serve,
coming from His Spirit, flowing through His servant
to rest upon His beloved.
He will be with us because He enables us to love,
to show and give love,
because He is love,
...could it be?
Love that is deep and full;
not like the world defines and certainly not lust,
but love.
Simply unselfish love.
Unconditional love
for our fellow sojourners.
Is this possible?

For we all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of G-d...
perhaps this is so because we have failed to
simply,
unselfishly,
love.

We strive.
But as we enjoy all that we have,
and all that we have done,
let us never forget
that we have nothing, are nothing and can do nothing
without LOVE.

For He is with us until the end of the age,
yes, that G-d, that Savior
that is, and always will be
the very thing we long for most...
love.

Open up and feel Your G-d,
the G-d of love,
the G-d that is love,
the only One who has ever been love,
the One who created love.

As we strive for all the material and coveted,
the knowledge and prestige,
let us first and foremost strive for what is most important.
The essence that makes everything else worthwhile,
the only thing that gives true purpose -
love that comes from the Creator.
He desires to give love,
and enables love to be given.
He commands love,
requires love
and perpetuates love.
It is His very essence, His Spirit,
His goal and vision.
Yes, let us strive diligently,
for the only thing that matters,
truly, the only thing that gives us life.

Love.

The Antique Challenge

2012-01-16T18:53:00.000-08:00

it's a photo challenge!

How 'bout some fun pics from our latest photo challenge?

A really great antique store, three cameras, lots of laughter, a top 100 countdown of the greatest rock songs of all time on the radio, and one suspicious (and rather creepy) salesclerk.

This time the challenge was all about texture...and boy, there is a LOT of texture in an antique store. The challenge comes with dealing with indoor lighting, macro-blurry-ness, those dratted tags, shooting through glass cases (blasted glare!) and composition with so much 'noise' in the background. We really had a good time with this one!

So, put on some oldies and enjoy the textures of the antique store...

A good question. Actually a few of them.

2012-01-15T12:55:00.000-08:00

"Why is it that people have to be mean and hurtful?"

Have you ever asked yourself this question? Perhaps a long time ago, or just yesterday when someone in your life decided to act like a jerk. Or perhaps it was when the guy in the car behind you at the stoplight thought that you didn't move fast enough so he gave you a not-so-friendly shove in the right direction. Whenever it was, I'm pretty positive everyone has asked the question. I remember asking my mom and I remember pondering it in the workplace. On the playground, on a crowded downtown sidewalk or in the small-town diner, it boggles our own minds how cruel we all can be.

I suppose the answer is rather simple: it's because, unfortunately, "we are human and it's part of the human nature." Sounds good, right? We inherited it from our forefathers, this penchant for inflicting cruelty and unkindness towards others. And not just people we will never see again...oh no; it is said that we hurt those that are closest to us. Apparently, most of us just take it for granted that those closest to us aren't going anywhere anytime soon, so we can treat them like so much garbage, inflicting hurt upon hurt. Saying it's part of the 'human nature', thus meaning we can do nothing about it, gives us the perfect excuse whenever we want to take out frustrations on someone else. Surely, being mean to someone else will make me feel better, more empowered, more...validated. After all, I'm only human.

"It is something I've dealt with my whole life."

"I'm just tired of always being on the defensive despite bending over backwards for people."

And haven't we all? The bully in our childhood neighborhood taught us the lesson that some people just have to build themselves up by tearing others down. But knowing that sure doesn't make it easier to deal with, does it? Envy, even jealousy can drive us to methodically plan the downfall, even humiliation, of our loyal friends. Yes, that's right, I said friends. The most ruthless sting of cruelty comes from the ones we consider friends or more, wouldn't you agree? And who better to be envious or jealous than those who know us best? In my personal experience, doing good deeds and being available and vulnerable to others seems to bring on the most harshest of criticism and judgment. I guess the lesson is not to make others look bad...

"Then sometimes, people just know they can get away with it, so they do it. I attribute this to people needing to grind people down to feel better about themselves..."

Just like the bully. I love the following snippet you can read rather regularly on any social media,

"Dear bullies, The boy you punched in the hall committed suicide a few minutes ago. That girl you called a slut in class is a virgin. The boy you called lame has to work every night to support his family. That girl you pushed down the other day is already being abused at home. You think you know them. Guess what, you don't..."

That may be extreme, but it really hits home, doesn't it? The fact is clear - we truly don't know what others are going through, and certainly wouldn't want to add to their pain if we did. Well, most wouldn't, anyway. There are certainly psychopaths out there that are cruel to others because it trips their mentally-damaged trigger. I'm not speaking about them; I'm addressing those normal folk that are just trying to make it to work everyday, provide for their family and strive to have a couple of close friends so the world isn't so lonely. It's those people that are not only treated cruel, but can be cruel to others, as well, especially if they are not paying attention. We all need to keep it firmly in the front of our minds that we don't know what others are going through and perhaps that person you just cussed out in the parking lot had to go home to a spouse that takes pleasure in abusively cussing them out on a nightly basis. It's probably a good thing you didn't know, I suppose - I'd like to think you would feel horrid and sympathetic if you did.

"One of the hardest lessons I've had to learn is that when I react to another's hurtfulness, I'm really only empowering them. If I really want to help them and myself, I have to pay little personal attention to it and let their onslaught pass over me without dampening my spirits. This action deflates the power of their offenses and strengthens my desire to have fun in spite of it all. It's definitely tough, but worth it."

Y'know, I don't like to blame the media and/or entertainment for our bad behavior. But I cannot help to see the difference between shows of my childhood years (albeit reruns) and the sitcoms of today. The Andy Griffith Show, Leave It To Beaver and The Brady Bunch diligently tried to reinforce kind and ethical behavior towards others. Every show featured plots of everyday situations and the preferred right choices. I won't make anyone uncomfortable by pointing out present day shows, but let me just say that of the sampling I've seen of late, just the conversation alone wouldn't scream of kindness or right choices. Mostly, they consist of mocking, sharp teasing and selfishness that typically slides towards sexual innuendo. Certainly not the model of home life I'd like to call 'normal' to my children. And these shows are prime time offerings - let's not even consider the R-rated fodder that is available after the dinner hour. It's definitely a sad state of affairs when the commercials portray a more accurate view of American family life than the shows they are funding. What are we molding our society to be? Unkind and self-serving, if television is our mirror. Anyone watch any current children's cartoons lately? Yeah, I am appalled, as well.

The bottom line is this:
No one has to be mean and hurtful, they choose to be that way.
That's right, we all make a conscious choice of how we are going to act, whether nice, kind and giving, or mean, cruel and hateful. A choice. Think about it. What are you choosing?

If you are a believer in the Most High, you are commanded to choose kindness.

If you are a non-religious person, I hope you choose kindness for the good of all living on earth.

If you have children and are a role model for young people, I hope you are choosing kindness.

If you are dealing with the public on a daily basis, I hope you choose kindness.

If you eat out at restaurants, shop at stores or are ever a customer, I hope you choose kindness.

If you are a spouse, you vowed to love and cherish your mate, so I certainly hope you choose kindness.

If you consider yourself a friend of anyone, I hope you choose kindness.

If you are a religious leader, I most certainly hope you choose not only kindness, but righteousness, as well.

If you have parents, I hope you choose kindness towards them for the remainder of their days.

If you are are any of these things, I sincerely and humbly hope that you choose kindness towards others...every day, every weekend, every time you get in your car and hit the road, every time you interact with others, in any and all situations you find yourself, I hope and pray that we ALL choose kindness.

It is not our natural inclination to be kind unless it benefits us somehow, but we can change that. We can become a person that is kind, and is known to be kind. Seek to be kind to others, pray that the Holy One empower you to do so. Look for others who exhibit this kind behavior, and model after them.

Just do it.

Choose to be kind.

*All the above italicized thoughts above were direct quotes from actual facebook users.

Is your natural reaction to be course and flip, mean-spirited or nasty towards others? Need help changing how you act towards the people in your life? Check out this website that has great tips and ideas on how to be a nicer, more accepting person - STOP BEING MEAN.

Also, a good reminder for us all HERE.

Grateful Friday

2012-01-13T11:14:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful that I came through surgery without complications.

I'm grateful for pain medication and a caring doctor.

I'm grateful for all the friends who are concerned about me.

I'm grateful for good books to read (love my kindle!).

I'm grateful for sunshine out my window.

I'm grateful for the company of my cats when it's best I just hang out in the bed.

I'm grateful for all the electronics that keep my mind occupied while waiting for my body to heal.

I'm grateful for hot showers.

I'm grateful that my husband is happy.

I'm grateful for subjects that stimulate my mind to think deeply.

I'm grateful for blogging.

I'm grateful for memories of my mom, although I sure have missed her careful nursing as of late.

I'm grateful that I'm included in the Life Center choir, even though I haven't been able to join them for a couple of months now.

I'm grateful to know that there are congregations that are welcoming, that somewhere there are people who are accepting and for hearts that are not so closed that they can entertain a different perspective.

"It is the mark of an educated mind to be able
to entertain a thought without accepting it."

~Aristotle

I'm grateful for those that are giving and not self-focused.

I am grateful that Jim saw the danger of Netanya's tire and that she was able to get a replacement.

I'm grateful that the LORD speaks to His own.

I'm grateful for Vitamin Water.

I'm grateful that my children have servant hearts.

I'm grateful for helpful pharmacists.

I'm grateful that Lisa found a new chair for the homeshul!

I'm grateful that time moves on.

I'm grateful the Chaverim is able to help Rosa when no one else is willing.

“Then he will say to those on his left, ‘Depart from me, you who are cursed, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels. For I was hungry and you gave me nothing to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not invite me in, I needed clothes and you did not clothe me, I was sick and in prison and you did not look after me.’ “They also will answer, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or needing clothes or sick or in prison, and did not help you?’ “He will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did not do for one of the least of these, you did not do for me.’

~Matthew 25

I'm not so grateful for those that speak one thing and do the opposite; admonish others to correct living but have absolutely no intention of doing so themselves, or simply make it appear as such. I am grateful that the LORD does reveal all things in time, and that deception does not remain secret forever.

I'm grateful for smiling faces in the mall.

I'm grateful for times spent laughing and feeling accepted.

I'm grateful to know the unconditional love of my Savior.

I'm grateful that my salvation is not dependent upon my good deeds.

I'm grateful for the beautiful afghan that Katie made for me.

I'm grateful for little, plump chickadees playing in the naked tree branches outside my bedroom window (and the fat robins hopping around in the grass enjoying the sunshine, too).

Apathy

2012-01-09T16:57:00.000-08:00

What is terrible is to pretend that the second-rate is first-rate, that you don't need love when you do or that you like your work, when you know quite well you're capable of better.

~Doris Lessing

Ever felt apathy? Apathy is the type of word that I've heard kicked around a bit, but didn't really have much use for, at least in my circles. "She is apathetic to their cause" isn't something anyone would either think of me or hear me express, especially since my focus has been so tight on compassion. I suppose you could say that I have been apathetic to knowing the full definition of the word apathy.

Until recently.

It has only been within the last couple of months that this word has wormed it's way into my consciousness and vocabulary from readings and various teachings. It has been compared to words like contentment and happiness or joy - as if an opposite. But, if apathy is defined as a lack of interest, enthusiasm or concern, even displaying indifference or listlessness, is it really an antonym of contentedness? I would rather think that the opposite of contentedness would be discontent or malcontent (where one is downright irked and most definitely not satisfied with their situation) rather than apathetic (where one is totally and completely uninterested in what's happening at the moment). The opposite of happiness or even joy would likewise not be apathy; sadness or sorrow, even woe perhaps, but even these states of unwelcome emotion involve investment of thought and self. Clearly, the opposite of happiness, or even joy, would not be apathy, which I would define as the fine art of not giving a rat's patoot.

So, why the word apathy? It has been nagging at me, eating as it were, at the insides of my brain for weeks. Am I, myself, becoming apathetic to life around me? It might only seem natural, since for years things haven't really been going my way. Honestly, if one was a gambler, I wouldn't wager a bet on me, that's for sure. Ignorantly going about my good pleasure, pouring myself out for others all the while not seeing the writing on the wall...not very savvy, if you ask me. Optimistically, "I like to call it not winning at the moment...," but, the proverbial tide has not yet turned (but at least using the tide metaphor gives a more more hopeful feel, at any rate). Ignorance has given way to fighting rightly deserved cynicism - certainly a natural response to months of grieving. Cynicism I can understand. Skepticism would be totally acceptable, surely. But apathy?

Perhaps if you stay long enough in the position of petitioning without end or answer, the natural progression is a walk through cynicism, merging into skepticism and on towards our word, apathy, resulting in a type of numbness and eery lack of emotion to what is happening around you. Or maybe that'd be the rubber room? Perhaps one and the same? Sheesh, this apathy isn't going to a good place, I'm thinkin'.

Giving up isn't really an option, as it were, and I'm not so sure giving up is equivalent to apathy anyway. If apathy is an indifference to our circumstances, than the opposite would be passion, or positive fervor, for life. Some might talk about the opposite being flow, or even feeling as if one can surmount specific difficulties. Those ideas may be true, but I would suggest that the feeling of having purpose, gifts, talents and skills required to fulfill a position within an industry or community would be the exact opposite to feeling apathetic, most assuredly useless.

And while I have no answers for anyone who is feeling apathetic at the moment, I would like to tell you that you are not alone. Things happen; politics take their due, envy and strife wreak their own havoc and there are those that fall through the cracks - the unwanted and unneeded eventually become the apathetic; indifferent to what may have stirred their passion and loyalty in the past. Watching, but not feeling, the unjust wielding power, betrayal the weapon of choice, and those damn destructive secrets...insurmountable life circumstances that leave us asking the question, does anything ever really matter?

Apathy. The word of the week. And an interesting one, it is.

Grateful Friday

2012-01-06T08:00:00.000-08:00

Vitality shows in not only the ability to persist

but the ability to start over.

~F. Scott Fitzgerald

It's the first Grateful Friday of 2012! To start things off right, I asked a few of my favorite friends (about 300 or so) to share some gratitude - I'm thrilled so many were willing.

"Interesting, I was just pondering this earlier this evening... what am I truly grateful for? At the time, the answer came to me clearly and succinctly: Cheese Trays. I think I was hungry."

"I am grateful for you as a friend ! You always have a way to touch me when I need it most, a blog post, a photo, a status update. You are a bright spot in my day!"

I'm grateful for great pics from friends across the pond!
photo by Ann Canton

"Our four legged furry friends that love us with abandon, rejoice with us when we are happy, console us when we are sad, and remind us that there is always joy to be found in this world in chew toys and string."

Because of your smile, you make life more beautiful.

~Thich Nhat Hanh

I'm grateful for celebrating the New Year with my beautiful friends Lisa and Barb in downtown Tacoma and for getting to enjoy the wonderful music of Pearl Django live.

"I'm grateful for the sunshine outside my window on this first day of 2012."

"I'm grateful for the most precious friendships a girl could wish for - total acceptance and love, challenging me to be better than the best, willing to go the extra mile and more. "I thank my G-d in all my remembrance of you..."

"I'm grateful for the hope of the coming year - new adventures, opportunities to celebrate the festivals once again, more deep theological conversations, continued mercy and grace from the Holy One even when I can't see it."

"I am thankful for...
Colors. All the variety of hues and saturations that make our world so interesting to see.
Django music well played.
Jewish liturgy, spoken in concert to our G-d.
The song of a sparrow on a winter day.
The companionship and playfulness of my cat.
Friends who support, love and laugh together.
Steaming hot, freshly brewed coffee in the morning.
The gift of prayer.
A supportive boss, allowing me to work from home on occasion."

"I am very grateful for my friends. They share in my joy, and help me grieve during a very difficult time."

Gratitude is an art of painting an adversity into a lovely picture.

~Kak Sri

"Being on facebook is like walking through the crowded high school cafeteria and catching snatches of everyone's conversation as you walk by...except without the smell." Yes, I'm grateful for facebook and the internet (and not so much for the high school cafeteria).

"I'm grateful I have 100 pennies...130, actually."

I'm grateful for friendly strangers on the street that smile at me.

"I'm extremely grateful for our friendship, you have propped me up when I was down countless times!" (it's a privilege and an honor, my friend!)

I'm grateful that my children have friends and good morals.

"I am grateful for the relationship I have with our loving G-d, my loving family and friends, my health and the health of my husband and children, the continued success and opportunities my husband works hard for and receives in his job, the renewed inner peace and happiness that grows within each day, and a beautiful new country to explore and call home for the next 3 years. Ohhh...and Skype!!"

I'm grateful for good food and the feeling of satisfaction after a meal.

"I am grateful for wonderful friends who walk with me on the path G-d has put forth before me. Who could ask for more?"

I'm grateful that I can just drive to a number of stores close-by and get what I need at any given moment.

"I am grateful for all I learned in 2011 and the opportunity to apply the teachings in 2012."

I'm always grateful when my car starts.

"...understanding people, those who were willing to listen, letterboxing, Facebook, music, art, love, support, kitties, my rabbit, chocolate, wine, still having my Grammy in my life..."

I'm thankful for the opportunity to be published in the newspaper.

"I'm grateful for Mongolian Grill and Nordstrom." (me, too!)

I'm always, always thankful for people who care and who are willing to give...of themselves, of their time and of their friendship.

Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep. "...I am grateful for the rejoicing and grateful for being able to weep with empathy alongside those I love."

"I'm grateful for my husband and my children, especially for the moments in which I see true friendships among them."

Happy New Year from Seattle!

"I'm grateful my mom is willing to drive me where I want to go."

"Thankful for income, a home, most excellent friends and family. The health and safety of those I love."

"That my husband has a job so therefore we kept insurance, house, food, clothes!!! Happy 2012...may the blessings continue and if you didn't have any then repent and come closer to G-d because he wants to shower you with blessings!"

"I'm grateful for my family."

"Thankful we made it through the long hot summer, the wildfires finally ceased, and the rain that is now replenishing the earth."

I am so thankful for memories - I've been carefully reliving them this first week of 2012.

"After living apart from June to December, I am grateful that Hubby and I are living together again."

I'm thankful for early birthday wishes.

"Grateful that I didn't have any gallstone attacks in 2011, that I can now eat normal food, grateful for my letterboxing buddies, for the peace that is finally settling in my soul, the strength to speak the truth, loving family members, well, that's enough from me, huh!?" (it's never enough from you, MJ - hugs to you!)

"2011 was a time of prayer, intercession, fasting, praise, tears, leaving, starting anew. I am so grateful for friends and love..."

"I'm grateful for ice cream, talented, willing children, loving family, travel, the LORD'S amazing mercy, a man who loves me unconditionally, the library and my new nook." (I love my new Kindle, too, and I'm so grateful to have the parashah notes in e-format - I'm so grateful!)

"I'm grateful that we had provision even though Patrick had knee surgery. He's our only income now and even though it was tough, G-d stretched the money for our bills. Also I'm grateful that I was able to watch our middle son step into his destiny as he joined the Navy and made it through an extremely tough program."

"I'm thankful for another year with my hubby. I'm thankful for a relationship with my daughter and grandbabies. I'm eternally grateful for our beloved Chaverim! I'm thankful we have a safe place to meet each week, that we can actually look forward to it. I'm thankful we can all pray together. I'm thankful we can study together in freedom without criticism. I'm thankful for our pets. I'm thankful for family time with my hubby's brother."

*****

How long does it take you to feel grateful? Do you have to rack your brain to come up with even one simple thing for which to feel grateful? Truly, it doesn't have to be grand; just something small that makes your life easier, that makes you smile...that makes you feel alive. Giving thanks changes our attitude, adjusts our perspective and points us in a good and healthy direction. Make 2012 the year that you think of at least one thing each day for which you are thankful and grateful. So...

Flickering

2012-01-03T12:59:00.000-08:00

A smile here, a prayer there.
Does it amount to much?

One foot in front of the other,
breathe in and breathe out.
And cling to hope yet another day.

They say that time heals all things,
but I don't believe that is true.
Just like sticks and stones,
words cause wounds that remain.
Irreparable damage, so it seems.

A flame flickers,
fragile but stubborn.
Deep darkness looming still,
as one hand holds tight to the candle
while the other doggedly protects.
It just can't go out...

The flame casts a shadow
warped and shaky.
The shadow floats through one day
then into the next;
a smile here, a prayer there.
Does it really amount to much?

Silence surrounds the shadow,
screaming rejection into reality.
Steely determination melts into despair,
leaving only a flickering flame
and the whispered plea.

Fear grips the heart of the shadow,
with no relief in sight.
Will help never come?
Force another step,
take another breath.

A shadow of my former self,
watching time sliding past.
A smile here, a prayer there.
Will it ever amount to much?

[As I finished writing this, a dear, dear friend arrived to lovingly pull me out of the desperate darkness. I can never thank her enough or the Ruach who sent her. Depression is a all-encompassing darkness that can't be understood fully until it is experienced. I praise the Holy One for the experience and for the compassion He has given me for those who suffer. ~hendel]

Grateful Friday

2011-12-30T08:48:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful for life; if it were all over today, I would be grateful for the love I was able to see, give and receive. I'm grateful for love, most of all.

I'm grateful that the LORD takes my humble attempts at writing and uses them for His purposes.

I'm grateful for beautiful souls that are willing to listen to the prodding of the Spirit and pray for others.

I'm grateful that my upcoming surgery is happening at a favorite and familiar hospital, though I'm not used to be being the patient.

I'm grateful for a wonderful day spent with Taylor - what a sweet soul.

I'm grateful for things that make me smile.

I'm grateful to be available for others when I can.

I'm grateful for the laughter of my children, the honesty of my friends and the unconditional adoration of my cats.

I'm grateful I have food to eat today.

I'm grateful for a hot shower with soap and shampoo.

I'm grateful for a little bit of extra cash in my purse (it won't last long, though!).

I'm grateful for revelation and teaching from the Master Himself.

I'm grateful for our Hanukkah celebrations this year - what a sweet time of fellowship.

I'm grateful for modern medicine.

I'm grateful for hope.

I'm grateful that my kids and friends are healthy.

I'm grateful for caller ID.

I'm grateful for whole food supplements (I highly recommend Garden of Life).

I'm grateful for music - always.

I'm grateful for good quotes that tell me that many have walked this road before me.

I'm grateful for the support of friends, both far and near.

I'm grateful for good customer service at Best Buy yesterday.

I'm grateful that the holiday season is over for another year...it can be so stressful.

I'm grateful for Shabbat.

It's the end of another year...what are you grateful for?

2011 was, sadly, a continuation of 2010, filled with sadness, the pain of loss and a desperate attempt to get back on level ground. But 2011 also held wonderful contrasts such as the building of deep, meaningful friendships, reconnecting with lost relationships and learning how to cling to hope. I would say that prayer marked this year as unique; I have never prayed so diligently and fervently for others and situations as I did this year. And even though 2011 wasn't as bright as I would have liked, I will take the position of the eternal optimist and crave, hope and look ahead to a new year with new possibilities and opportunities. I pray that 2012 is filled with the love of my beloved family and friends, a renewed enthusiasm for artistic endeavors that will edify those around me, and a heart that is filled with love and compassion for all that come into my life.

May the LORD bless us and keep us all.

May He make His face shine upon us

and be merciful and gracious to us.

May the LORD lift up his countenance towards us

and grant us all His shalom.

May it be Your will, LORD.

At the Window

2011-12-28T08:43:00.000-08:00

I stood at the hospital and looked out the window. Yes, it was raining again, just like many other times I have looked out a hospital window. There is just something about looking out a hospital window that makes one think introspective thoughts.

How many times have I stood looking out a hospital window feeling the one in the bed behind me? Hearing the noise of the machines and the busyness of the nurses station just outside the door...thankful that I am not the one being monitored. It reminds me of my dear friend Rose who succumbed to cancer, which reminds me of my grandmother laying in her hospital bed...which reminds me of her husband in the bed, as well. Lord, is that just how it goes?

I think of other windows, too. The huge windows at the airport that look out onto the tarmac along with my sweet mother-in-law watching the planes come and go as we prepare to say goodbye after a visit. Not a hospital visit this time, but a family visit. Goodbyes always feel like it should be raining outside, even when it's not. My mother-in-law doesn't like goodbyes, so she keeps them short and well, short - she doesn't want to cry at the separation. We live so far apart.

Another window, this time it's a hotel sliding glass door that steps out onto a small balcony overlooking the manicured lawn of the Maui resort. Many years ago now, I contemplated the step I had taken just days before as I entered into marriage. The warm breeze, the Kona coffee and the goal of forming a family. Even in the midst of hopes and dreams, there's always niggling doubts, I guess. I haven't been back to that window, but I've stood at many, many other hotel windows with a view of a parking lot and the hope of new places yet to be explored. Windows with air-conditioners just below them and rather unattractive curtains gracing them. I'm always glad to be looking out a hotel window, actually. That means I'm on the road, which is always a good thing.

Windows are interesting because with unseeing eyes we see the past somehow mingle with the future. At least that's how it is with me. I look out my kitchen window every day and gaze in the direction of a mountain that is often obscured from view. That is how the future is, always. You know it's there, but you just can't see it. As frustrating as that can be, I know that if we were privy to so many things, we might turn and run the other direction. And if not run, at least make some different choices. Are we ever truly prepared for each day we are given? The diagnosis, the decision, the spoken words that are destined to be said - all a mystery. I suppose we look out windows with those unseeing eyes hoping we will somehow see what's coming, like looking to the horizon to see the forming clouds that bring the next rain squall. And like the weather, we never truly know what's coming. There are times when it all seems like a cruel joke, whether it's happy times that are far too short or sad, dark times that linger far too long.

Scripture says that there is One who directs all things, intertwining and coordinating all in a mind-boggling recipe of relational interactions. In my puny human mind, I cannot grasp the thoughts of a Holy One who claims He is just and good when I'm standing at a hospital window, in the midst of a relational quagmire, preparing myself for major surgery. Or when things never seem to get to that happy ending. Or when the dark days slog on, one right after another, leaving me standing at a window not seeing anything but still looking for something. Are you really there, LORD? Do you hear us pleading, begging, needing? So many are longing for relief; truly, do You hear our cries? If so, it just must be an absolute cacophony of noise in Your holy ears.

My forefathers cried out in Egypt for a very long time, hundreds of years, trapped in slavery. Abject poverty and submission to cruel masters, forced to build impossible monuments to the earthly lives of the rich and privileged. They were delivered, to be sure, but it sure took a long time. Will I, or my friend who has been living in limbo for years due to an abusive marriage, even see the salvation and deliverance of HaShem? Will our only deliverance be death, left to cry out our entire lives for relief that isn't coming until generations later?

An age old question. Most believers are hesitant to even voice such doubts, I'm certain. But as I stand at the rainy window ever-gazing, I think the unthinkable, turning the question over and over in my mind. Ultimately, I only come up with one answer. I guess it could be called the 'window answer'...the only answer.

I must leave it all in the hands of the One who knows all and judges all. There is no other answer to have, unless you want to live, or die, in desperate hopelessness. At the end of your proverbial rope, at the bottom of that dank pit, at the absolute darkest place we can get standing in front of that rainy, dismal, cold window, there is nothing left but hope. Hope that things will turn around. Hope for the miraculous.

There is hope that time will heal and the sharp grief will dull.
Hope that, in His great mercy, the beloved one will change their mind.
Hope that the needed job will materialize and all will not be lost.
Hope that the treatment will be the treatment that stops the nightmare.
Hope that the sound of their voice won't fade completely from memory.
Hope that someone will finally stop the silence and rejection and show love and compassion.
Hope that the pain will someday end.
Hope that there really is an all-knowing G-d who hears our cries and cares enough to do something about them.

So, that's it. That is what we truly see when we stand at the window. The past and the future mingling together, dancing with hope. Desperate human hope.

Man can live about forty days without food,

about three days without water,

about eight minutes without air,

but only for one second without hope.

"Now hope that is seen is not hope. For who hopes for what he sees? But if we hope for what we do not see, we wait for it with patience. Likewise the Spirit helps us in our weakness. For we do not know what to pray for as we ought, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us with groanings too deep for words. And he who searches hearts knows what is the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for the saints according to the will of God. And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose. For those whom he foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, in order that he might be the firstborn among many brothers. And those whom he predestined he also called, and those whom he called he also justified, and those whom he justified he also glorified."

~Paul to the Romans

Hanukkah 2011

2011-12-27T21:46:00.000-08:00

my favorite shot of the eight nights

It was a beautiful Hanukkah this year. The weather was pretty agreeable and everyone was well, for the most part. We had eight crazy nights of taking photographs of the candles and enjoying each others company, whether it was the quiet family celebration here at home, the sweet erev Shabbat with the Chaverim or the wonderful seventh-night party filled with friends, laughter, latkes and champagne. Good times...great memories.

Yes, it was a beautiful Hanukkah this year.

Grateful Friday

2011-12-23T07:44:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful for Hanukkah.

I'm grateful for my camera that can capture our celebrations.

I'm grateful for a safe place to meet and celebrate.

I'm grateful for the Torah.

I'm grateful for my friends on Facebook.

I'm grateful for professional, skilled and compassionate medical professionals.

I'm grateful for a misty December sunrise.

I'm grateful for unexpected opportunities.

I'm grateful that the LORD is still at work, and that He hears our petitions.

I'm grateful for positive feedback on my writing.

I'm grateful for the ongoing success of TRI.

I'm grateful for a time of gathering with friends and family.

I'm grateful for the good character and sense of justice in my children.

I'm grateful for warm, fuzzy blankets.

I'm grateful for cats that curl up into perfect circles to sleep.

I'm grateful for solid doctrinal training.

I'm grateful to discover new-to-me music.

I'm grateful for a well-equipped kitchen.

I'm grateful for my daughter who keeps the laundry caught up.

I'm grateful for the communication made possible by the Internet.

I'm grateful for good friends and laughter at Hanukkah.

I'm grateful for my favorite Starbucks and the happy, friendly baristas that work there.

I'm grateful for re-connections.

I'm grateful for encouraging quotes, well-written articles and inspirational blogs.

I do not feel obligated to believe that the same G-d who has endowed us

with sense, reason, and intellect has intended us to forego their use.

~Galileo Galilei

I am grateful for good sense (most of the time), reason (but I'm not always reasonable), and intellect (which I don't always utilize) that the LORD bestowed upon me.

I'm grateful for kind and encouraging words about my efforts.

I'm grateful my son painted the bathroom ceiling.

I'm grateful for a nice family dinner to celebrate Hanukkah.

I'm grateful for good champagne and some really fun Star Wars gelt we found!

I'm grateful for cheap prices at WalMart.

I'm grateful for Star Wars gifts - thanks, Lis!

I'm grateful for the generosity of my daughter.

I'm grateful for far-away friends who think about me.

I'm grateful for a quiet house in the morning.

I'm grateful for good morning greetings first thing.

I'm grateful happy, smiling faces in the photographs all around me.

I'm grateful for snugly cats in my bed.

I'm grateful for my Hanukkah playlist.

I'm grateful for technology that makes life so much easier.

I'm grateful for the opportunity to share my photos, thoughts and music. Sharing makes us all feel a little less alone.

What are you grateful for this holiday week?

Meditating on Compassion

2011-12-21T09:18:00.000-08:00

Like a wave and sometimes unexpected, compassion comes upon us in the strangest moments. Moved to care, prayer and action, compassion can start as a trickle and work into a torrent. Do we foster compassion within ourselves, somehow manufacturing it of our own strength and desire for righteousness? Or does it come from the source of all love Himself?

I often wonder why some bear the weight of compassion and others do not. At times, it seems part of the human fabric to want to care, help and empathize with the hurt of another. But, is it wisdom or folly that drives us to reach out regardless of the consequences? Those much wiser than I have pondered these things, and their observations are certainly worthy of consideration and meditation on this cold, winter morning.

Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling

what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin.

It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me

until there is peace and joy finally for you, too.

~Frederick Buechner

It is lack of love for ourselves that inhibits our compassion toward others.

If we make friends with ourselves, then there is no obstacle

to opening our hearts and minds to others.

~unknown

Compassion is not religious business, it is human business,

it is not luxury, it is essential for our own peace and mental stability,

it is essential for human survival.

~Dalai Lama

The whole idea of compassion is based on a keen awareness

of the interdependence of all these living beings,

which are all part of one another,

and all involved in one another.

~Thomas Merton

The value of compassion cannot be over-emphasized.

Anyone can criticize.

It takes a true believer to be compassionate.

No greater burden can be borne by an individual

than to know no one cares or understands.

~Arthur H. Stainback

Make no judgements where you have no compassion.

~unknown

Man may dismiss compassion from his heart,

but G-d never will.

~William Cowper

Compassionate action involves working with ourselves

as much as working with others.

~Pema Chodron

In separateness lies the world's great misery,

in compassion lies the world's true strength.

~unknown

There is nothing heavier than compassion.
Not even one's own pain weighs so heavy as the pain one feels for someone;
pain intensified by the imagination and prolonged by a hundred echos.

~Milan Kundera

Hanukkah Sameach!

2011-12-20T20:44:00.000-08:00

The people walking in darkness have seen a great light;

on those living in the land of the shadow of death a light has dawned.

~Isaiah 9:2

May this Hanukkah be one of joy and laughter,

the kindling of candles

and re-kindling of beloved friendships.

May that which was lost be recovered,

the one who is wounded be healed,

and the servants of the Most High be favored

by the light of His face.

May the Holy One, blessed be He,

extend to us His infinite love, understanding and grace

as we celebrate, remember and honor

this Feast of Dedication.

Blessed are You, Adonai our G-d,

King of the Universe,

Who gave us life, and sustained us,

and enabled us to reach this season.

Amein.

The Five Unspoken Rules of Facebook

2011-12-19T21:27:00.000-08:00

I should be on payroll with Facebook. No really; I have spent way too much time defending and explaining the ins and outs of communication and maintaining relationship on this giant of social media. I never expected to be in this position, I can assure you. I can say with all honesty that I learned these rules through rough-and-tumble experience - a hard lesson, it was.

Relationship via social utilities can be sticky business. As with any form of communication between humans, things can be misconstrued, feelings can be hurt and respect and trust can be lost. I've even heard it described, not altogether inaccurately, as a minefield; one misstep and ka-blooey! And it happens to everyone once, and hopefully it only takes once to learn that there are definitely unspoken rules of engagement on Facebook (or any online social media, for that matter).

1. Remember your public wall is public.

Public is public, which means everyone and anyone can see. There are 'privacy settings' decisions to be made, for sure, but for the newbie, everything is right out there for G-d and everyone. To that end, you will not want to post any status that is too, well, private. Or political. Or biased toward one religion or another. Or pointed to slam one person or group, unless, of course you want to start a flame war. The back and forth of unmoderated or heated debate on someone's status is really not necessary or edifying to anyone. I promise.

Yes, you have the right of free speech, it is true. But do you really want to use your Facebook wall to hammer others? Or reveal things that should just be for your close friends? Which brings me to the next rule...

2. Utilize private groups and keep them private.

Create your own group and put your bestest buds in there. Keep it small and intimate - you'll thank me later, really. This is the place to rally the troops to your cause, vent your latest rant or just whine. And I would highly suggest you make these private groups 'secret', so you don't hurt anyone's feelings when they realize you didn't invite them. And once you have a private group, don't go talkin' about what was said in there. Keep it private! Just trust me on this one.

3. Friend and de-friend with caution.

Facebook is simply another form of communication, just like email, texting or talking on the phone. Attached to each name is a living, breathing person with feelings and emotions. Even though it is fun to add to your 'friends list', be a little cautious about who you accept. Friending is a whole lot easier than un-friending, as it were, where the the risk for hurting feelings is great. Remember, if you don't like someone's posts, you can always 'unsubscribe' and not see them in your news feed - it's all good, you don't see their posts and you didn't have to un-friend them. If you absolutely must cut down your numbers to make your life easier or whatever, be aware of who may be personally offended by your de-friending them. You may want to shoot them a quick private message prior to giving them the ax explaining why you are deleting them.

4. Remember who your audience is.

Again, there are real people attached to those typewritten names; it may be difficult to remember that when you are dealing with the flat-ness of online communication, I understand. But, if you cannot say what you are about to type to their face, person to person, then you perhaps shouldn't post it on a public wall, yours or theirs. Manners matter and common courtesy is expected and right. Miscommunication happens frequently, especially when trying to convey various vocal tones such as sarcasm. Also, if you know you have some of the younger facebookers in your friends list, be courteous and don't use course language (or block them from that particular post). Do you have your bestie's grandmother as a friend? Let me tell you, she probably doesn't need to know the gritty details of your date last night. And unless you want to start WWIII, I'd keep your political comments neutral unless all your friends, and friends of friends, are of the same political color. Always remember to keep your audience in mind as a common courtesy and a sure-fire way to avoid hurt feelings or damaged reputations.

5. Lighten up.

It's an online social utility - a means to keep in touch with long-distance family or friends that you don't see all that often. It's a place to organize close friends and to kick around ideas. It's a place to be exposed, in a good way, to what people all over the country, even the world, are doing. That is all. It's NOT a replacement for a living, breathing community, nor is it the panacea of social experience. Keep things light and people will enjoy your posts. Pithy sayings, fun videos and inspiring quotes are always welcome in a world where most people are looking to Facebook as a way to relax and catch up with their friends. Yes, it can be a place for reaching out to your fellow man to help, as is everywhere we interact with others, but for the most part it's just a social utility. To make it stretch beyond that is silly. If you have more to say, write a blog.

Oh, and one more thing; don't expect too much of your friends on Facebook. Sometimes they won't post on your wall, or like your stuff - it's OK. It's all just for fun, right? You can still be friends with the ones that don't get on often, or the ones that just like to 'lurk' - they are not trying to ignore you, they just don't put a high priority to interacting on Facebook. Give everyone a little space and enjoy your time on Facebook for what it is - friendship and entertainment.

Which brings me to the subject of the term 'friend'. There are many flavors of friendship, and Facebook and other online groups have given the term yet another flavor. Don't get hung up on the term 'friend', it's just a word. You can have close friends on Facebook and you can have acquaintances. You can even have people as 'friends' whom you have never met face to face. It's alright, really. I'm sure Facebook chose that term to make it sound more inviting and friendly (no pun intended). Just because you have the guy who sits in the cube next to you at the office as a friend on Facebook doesn't mean that he is a close friend, or even a friend by your personal definition. Remember, this is just the term Facebook chose - if it makes you feel better, maybe you could call them persons instead of friends. Just a thought.

Now, I know there is a grass-roots movement of sorts, a counter-culture I guess you could call it, of folks that adamantly refuse to be on Facebook, or have tried it, got overwhelmed and deactivated. Some people just don't have time or they would rather talk to people on the phone or face to face - that's all good, too. If Facebook is not for you, it's not for you. But I would like to caution those who are anti-social media; please don't judge those of us that enjoy it. Truly, if you have not spent a good bit of time on it yourself, you have no place to talk or make judgments...or to even offer advice regarding it. Facebook in and of itself is not good or evil, it just is. It is the people inhabiting your friends list that gives it a specific flavor and experience. It is the people that make it what it is, and that is the bottom line...just like every other form of communication.

Grateful Friday

2011-12-16T08:03:00.000-08:00

I'm grateful for a wonderful doctor who is eager to help.

I'm grateful for the prayers of others on my behalf.

I'm grateful for my happy light!

I'm grateful I had enough money for food this week.

I'm grateful for my kids.

I'm grateful the majority of my shopping is finished.

I'm grateful for friends who care.

I'm grateful for a wonderful ultrasound technician.

I'm grateful for good conversation with my son.

I'm grateful for fresh, clean water.

I'm grateful for a functioning washer and dryer.

I'm grateful for Clone Wars episodes on DVD.

I'm grateful for each day that I can get up and breathe in and out.

I would maintain that thanks are the highest form of thought,

and that gratitude is happiness doubled by wonder.

~Gilbert Keith Chesterton

I'm grateful for vehicles that run and beds that are soft.

I'm grateful for dark days that pass and for the hope of sunshine.
I'm grateful for hope, because without hope, the dark days would never end.

I'm grateful for sleep.

I'm grateful for beautiful sunrises and gorgeous sunsets.

I'm grateful for smiles from friends I haven't seen for a while.

I'm grateful for old photos and memories that go with them.

I'm grateful for one-of-a-kind music recordings - they are like precious jewels in my music collection.

“A friend is one with whom you are comfortable,

to whom you are loyal,

through whom you are blessed,

and for whom you are grateful.

~William Arthur Ward

Yes, I am so very grateful for my close friends - I am so blessed.

I'm grateful that my computer works well.

I'm grateful for each new day.

What are you grateful for this week?

Lookin' for the Miraculous

2011-12-15T22:07:00.000-08:00

Have you ever prayed for a miracle? Something so utterly fantastic, completely out of your control and probably incomprehensible? Oh yeah, I have.

Perhaps you have, too. Maybe you have prayed for that needed job or that long-awaited mate. Or possibly you have prayed for a miracle cure for the incurable disease for yourself or a loved one. I'm sure many have prayed for situations to change miraculously because what they were doing just wasn't enough. I've even prayed, cheekily I admit, that there be a 'miracle in the hearing' for anyone within range of my singing. *smirk*

I have heard the classification of miracles, which I always find fascinating. Class A or Class B...who would think of these things? I guess it is helpful for some to categorize miracles in this way. But for me, or the desperate, poverty-stricken mother who needs food for her family, a miracle is simply a miracle. I can say with all certainty that for the ones who have been granted a miraculous reprieve from misery and grief there is no doubt of the miraculous or thoughts of classification. They are quite happy to leave that kind of postulating to the more scholarly types and simply praise their Provider.

Are you praying for a miracle? For that premature baby that is struggling to live or that adult child, friend or spouse that is caught in an addiction that continues to rip apart relationships? If so, I'll join you in your fervent prayer for a miracle - be it healing, deliverance or justice. Our LORD is capable and more than able to perform miracles today just like the ones recorded in Scripture. There are times, however, in His wisdom and mercy He doesn't answer our requests because His way is so much better than ours. That could be considered a miracle, too...right?

Abba,

We are praying for a miracle today. Actually, You know that we have been diligently praying for this particular miracle for a long time.

We know it will be a total and complete display of unwarranted grace and mercy if what we are requesting comes to pass and fully realize that we are asking for the moon and more. Only You can bring it to reality - we ask...no, we beg for Your miraculous intervention. If and when it is time for us to do anything in relation to this situation, we trust You will make it clearly known. We await direction from You, and completely trust You to enable and strengthen us to complete anything you require with love and sincerity.

We will continue to ask for this miracle, LORD. And even if things don't go the way we would choose, we will bow to Your wisdom. However, we know You hear the cry of Your people and answer, You attend to the hurt and wounded, and believe You have put the desire so see this miracle come to reality within us with such fervor that we cannot escape. Therefore, we believe You can and will make a way for this miracle to happen. We pray that it is soon, LORD...very soon.

Blessed are You, our King and Savior,
Who is the One and Only that can perform miracles.

Your servants bow before You humbly and beg for Your action in this matter.

It is in the name of Yeshua we ask,
Amein.

Priorities and Options

2011-12-12T22:15:00.000-08:00

Never allow someone to be your priority,

while allowing yourself to be their option.

An anonymous quote.
Simple in it's design, complex in it's meaning.

A quote I would have never known had it not been for the internet.
A quote that has haunted me for literally years.

Never - at no time in the past or future; on no occasion; not ever.

allow - grant permission.

someone - a person of importance or authority.

(to be your) priority - fact or condition of being regarded or treated as more important.

while - during which.

allowing - giving permission.

yourself - you personally.

(to be their) option - something or someone that may or may not be chosen.

I have, so many times in my life, put myself in the position of valuing certain individuals higher than they valued me. Part of me kicks myself for a seeming lack of self-respect. But on the other hand, is it not noble, admirable at the least, to value those around you highly regardless of their opinion about you? Can we affirm that Scripture says love your neighbor only when they value the friendship as highly as you do? No, we are all required to love without conditions, at least that's my view.

On further examination of this haunting, self-incriminating quote, I find myself trying to think of how many in my life have considered me 'an option'. I was certainly an option to every teacher I had in school; many other students actually studied, listened and were far more respectful than myself. Likewise, I was an option to a lot of somewhat shallow friends and acquaintances over the years, evidenced by the fact that they are no longer in my life. I have to admit that many of the special loves of my life have been optional, as well, since they were not required enough to continue a romantic relationship. My parents would not say I was optional, of course, but I'm not so sure about my sibling or my aunts, uncles or cousins, whom I see only at family funerals. I don't think I'm optional to my best friends, at least at this point, but who knows what the future will hold. Will I become optional in their view at some later date when circumstances change? My husband and I are not optional to each other, but that may be due to the legalities involved. My kids are not optional to me, most assuredly, but as they are teens, they certainly consider me optional...especially when they are with their friends.

With all that, is it even feasible to consider that in order to engage in relationship one must be considered a priority? Perhaps it would be alright to be considered a priority for a season. Or maybe a priority as long as you worked together, or shared the same hobby. You could certainly consider someone a priority if they agreed with you on most everything, right? Would that warrant the coveted label of priority?

Moreover, can we truly consider anyone an option? Somehow that just smacks of devaluation of ones we are called to love - which is our neighbor, just to refresh our memories. Would I consider my physical neighbors optional? Well, I don't talk to them much...perhaps once or twice in the summer when we are getting our mail at the same time. What about my 'neighbors' in my synagogue or church? Is the person sitting behind me week in and week out optional? Heck, I may not even know their name, much less their kids. Can I just go out on a jukin' limb and say that the Holy One doesn't consider anyone optional? I'd like to think that, for sure.

I know what is at the heart of this pithy quote. It can be easy to devalue ourselves to a position of doormat, especially in a relationship you absolutely do not want to lose. The essence of it, I believe, is an admonition to not sit still and allow someone to take you for granted to a level of disrespect in a any relationship that you feel is important. No one likes, or should be, taken for granted, right? We all have worth, we all deserve basic human respect and we all want to feel wanted and needed. Just the idea that you would or could 'allow' someone to consider you an option should rub everyone the wrong way. Surely, there is no one reading this quote that would say, "gosh, I don't mind being someones option". That is just not how we are to think of ourselves as we move through our lives; we are valued more than that by the Maker, at the very least.

The bottom line is this - relationships are hard. There is a give-and-take reality of relationships that demands that sometimes we are the priority and other times we are the option. We are not always going to be the center of attention or the important one. There are times, lots of times, that we need to be the humble one, the serving one or the forgiving one. It is that give-and-take that fosters trust, compassion and love.

If you will allow, I would like to re-write the above quote to something more appropriate, more healthy, and perhaps more fitting to living at peace with one another. May we all be blessed with relationships that make us feel wanted and needed, where we are considered a priority.

Always allow others to be your priority,

while acknowledging that you are G-d's.