Run 26.2 for Kelly

Thinking of Kelly on her birthday

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Sun, 10 Jan 2016 06:03:00 +0000

Dear Kelly,

Another year has come and gone, another year of missing you.

Eleven years ago I ran my ninth marathon on your sweet sixteenth birthday.

Today I "ran" a one mile race. I thought of you while I ran like I have so many times over the years.

Tonight I donated platelets in honor of your twenty seventh birthday.

Some things have changed over the years.

Missing you and wishing things were different have not.

Cutting the cake-2002

Welcome to 2016

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Sat, 02 Jan 2016 19:10:00 +0000

I have been thinking about the goals that I want to set for 2016. I am not a fan of resolutions. I don't know if I have ever made and kept a resolution that I have made for the year, but I have completed goals that I set, because I could commit to them.

A resolution is weak, a commitment is strong.

You only make commitments for things you can control.

You can make a New Year's resolution to lose weight, eat healthier, but you can't commit to it.

However, you can make a commitment to running, cycling, and lifting weight three times a week and eating a calorie deficit of 500 calories a day.

I set three goals last year:

Move my body two thousand and fifteen miles.
Donate Platelets 15 times in 2015.
Read a book every month and publish a review on my blog or Amazon.

I completed the first goal, moving my body 2,166 miles.

I donated platelets eleven times. While I was very committed to completing this goal, it was taken out of my hands in May after donating too frequently and I was put on an unable to donate list for three months.

The third goal I totally abandoned after not completing a monthly challenge. I could have revised the goal, but after missing it I totally stopped so obviously I was not as committed to it as the first two goals.

So after a quick look back, here are my goals for 2016:

Move my body two thousand and sixteen miles.
Write a "journal of days" for the year, one to three sentence summary every day before going to bed.
Revise my draft of the book I wrote last year during National Novel Writing Month. It still needs an ending.
Run a 5K.
Write 750 words every day at 750words.com(I began the year with a streak of 406 days).
Read one book a month.
Complete the Joyful January challenge. Post a picture of something that has brought me joy each day during January on Facebook or Twitter or Instragram with the hashtag #joyfuljan

These all seem like achievable goals. #3 will be the hardest goal to complete as I am not sure how I will be able to measure whether it has been completed.

All of the other goals follow the S.M.A.R.T guidelines that are commonly used in the workplace, but as this article outlines, SMART goals can be DUMB.

Specific
Measurable
Achievable
Realistic
Time based

So long to 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Fri, 01 Jan 2016 06:00:00 +0000

It's been over five months since the last time I did anything here on my blog.

I am pretty sure that 2015 set a record of sorts for the least amount of posts at this site and the least amount of visits to the gym.

My goals for 2015:

Move my body two thousand and fifteen miles(Complete, 2,165 miles)
Donate platelets fifteen times in 2015(Donated 11 times, gave too frequently and was put on unable to donate list for three months)
Read a book each month and write a review.(Incomplete, epic fail, within my control).

Some of the other things that I accomplished in 2015.

4,000,040+ steps as counted by my FitBit watch. This accounted for over 1,825 of the miles for the year.
10,000+ steps, 231 days.
Rode my bike a paltry 380 miles.
Participated and completed my first NANOWRIMO(National Novel Writing Month, write 50,000 words during the month of November) challenge. My book still needs an ending and lots and lots of editing before the world is ready to read this book.
Wrote at least 750 words every day at 750words.com. I ended the year with a consecutive days of writing of 406 days at this site.

Fun things:

Happy Patriots fan, finally!
Theater

Les Miserables
Into the Woods
Went to see Adam reprise his role of Nicely Nicely Johnson in Guys and Dolls at the Lakewood Center for Performing Arts seven times.
Two episodes of Avenue Q at in Louisville, Colorado
Three episodes of Dogfight, a very intense play set in the time period of the Vietnam War.

Dinner with Molly(One of Kelly's sisters).
Weekend golf outing with Adam at Grand Lake and Pole Creek.
Golfing with Lindsey and Adam
Went to Vancouver Canada and saw, Once the Musical with Sue(Traffic in Vancouver sucks)
Spent a night on Whidbey Island in Washington and furiously wrote several thousand words in my novel.
Went to a Nuggets game with Laura to see Kobe Bryant for a final time in Denver.
Seeing Laura get her 100th run shirt with the Irish Snug running club.
Touchdowns for Tomorrow Trivia with Laura, Sue and Lindsey.
Thanksgiving open house with my niece, Kristin. She is all kinds of awesome!
Adam singing O Holy Night at Burns Methodist church for his grandmother.

Life things:

Accepted a full time position at First Data again as a software analyst.
Around the sun one more time.

On tap for 2016?

Hopefully a return to running, not sure what that will look like, but I sure would like to be able to run again and for once it doesn't seem like my knee will be the thing that stops me.
Reading on a Nook instead of a physical book. I have lots of books that I would like to read and looking forward to reading as a writer, paying attention to how a real write tells their story.
Ski outing with a friend from work. I haven't gone skiing since 1999.
Golfing with Adam
Running with Laura

Next month:

Participating in Joyful January challenge on Facebook. Post something every day that brings me joy during the month, on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram with a hashtag of #joyfuljan
Begin to revise my novel, it needs an ending and a lot of work.
Set some goals for 2016.

Wordless Wednesday

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 22 Jul 2015 08:00:00 +0000

Remembering

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Tue, 21 Jul 2015 00:45:00 +0000

Today is the three year anniversary of a world that none of us wanted to live into, a world changed forever again by a crazed gunman, shattering twelve lives, taking them away forever, shattering other lives, other lifetimes, waiting to be born into, a world changed forever, a world none of us wanted to live into.

Remembering the lives of those we lost on this awful day, on this awful moment in our lives.

Alex Sullivan, Alex Teves, John Larimer, Veronica Moser-Sullivan, Jessica Redfield, Micayla Medek, AJ Boik, Jesse Childress, Matt Mcquinn, Jonn Blunk, Rebecca Wingo and Gordon Cowden.

"What better honor in this lifetime to be surrounded by people who make you constantly think and say, "My God, I want to learn how to love you so well.

Gordon Cowden surrounded by his family

Turn your whole life into a quest to be good to those people. Like make your whole life into a quest to figure out how to show up for them. At airports. On birthdays. On days where you know there is a decision lurking around the corner and they're scared and wondering. Those good people are your people--fight for them."~Hannah Brencher

All the Dancing Birds-May Book review

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Mon, 25 May 2015 21:31:00 +0000

"Thoughts enter like a piano concerto, lively and in full sustained legato, only to return in diminuendo, a single wavering note in the room. I'm not much more than a wordless simple tone, wishing desperately for the return of the bright harmony of language."~Auburn McCanta

This was another difficult book to read. Next month I am going to find something a little less upsetting to read.

The author does a good job telling the story from the point of view of the person who is losing their memory from Alzheimer's as well as capturing the confusion, fear and anguish of the adult children.

Worth reading, but be prepared to feel uncomfortable.

Cancer: The Emperor of All Maladies-April Book Review

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Thu, 30 Apr 2015 00:52:00 +0000

This was the most difficult book that I have ever read. While it is well written and presents in interesting history of cancer and the evolution of it's treatment over the years it is also the most discouraging glimpse of how far away we are from being able to do anything about it.

After zillion of dollars of research, in the war against cancer, we are armed with crude and primitive weapons against a cunning adversary with unlimited resources.

"Cancer, we know now is a disease caused by the uncontrolled growth of a single cell. This growth is unleashed my mutations-changes in DNA that specifically affect genes that incite unlimited cell growth. In a normal cell, powerful genetic circuits regulate cell division and cell death. In a cancer cell, these circuits have been broken, unleashing a cell that cannot stop growing.

That this seemingly simple mechanism-cell growth without barriers-can lie at the heart of this multifaceted illness is a testament to the unfathomable power of cell growth. Cell division allows us as organisms to grow, to adapt,, to recover to repair-to live. And distorted and unleashed, it allows cancer cells to grow, to flourish to adapt, to recover and to repair-to live at the cost of our living. Cancer cells can grow faster, adapt better. They are the more perfect versions of ourselves."-Siddhartha Mukherjee

This is an important book to read for anyone that have ever been touched in any way by cancer in their lifetime.

Remembering Laiken

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 22 Apr 2015 14:20:00 +0000

Laiken's Mother Stacey posted this picture on Facebook this morning. As she does each year she creates an event where people can do something to "Pay it Forward" in honor of Laiken's life.

I never met Laiken while she was living. I know Laiken through Stacey's words, through the love she has for her daughter.

Seven years later Laiken's legacy lives on as hundreds of people will do something today to create a ripple effect of kindness and love.

Smile on pretty girl.

Light and Love x 13 x Forever

We are Columbine

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Tue, 21 Apr 2015 03:35:00 +0000

It is sixteen years now since the school shooting at Columbine High School on April 20, 1999.

There was very little in the news and on social media sites. Channel 9 news posted this on their site today and I thought it was perfect, quiet, dignified. No mention of the two gunmen.

With love, remembering all that we lost and all that was lost on that day in spring sixteen years ago.

Cassie Bernall, Stephen Curnow, Corey DePooter,
Kelly Fleming, Matt Kechter, Daniel Mauser, Daniel Rohrbough.
Coach Dave Sanders, Rachel Scott, Isiah Shoels,
Lauren Townsend, John Tomlin, Kyle Velasquez

We are Columbine.

March book review-The Triumph and Tragedy of Lyndon Johnson

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Mon, 30 Mar 2015 03:19:00 +0000

I found this to be a very interesting read about an important time period in the United States. I had visited the Lyndon Johnson library while I was in Austin two years ago. I thought the author did a good job bringing many of the stories about President Johnson to life.

I would have liked it if the author had spent more time covering the Vietnam War, but there was a lot of time and material to cover.

It was really amazing to read that President Johnson withdrew his name as a presidential candidate in late March of the election year and it was almost a month later when Vice President Humphrey declared his candidacy. That is unthinkable in this day and age to think of a candidate running for six months.

I think this book is a good read for anyone that is interested in U.S. history. President Johnson's programs to this day have had a profound impact in the United States.

Thinking of Kelly

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 18 Mar 2015 03:01:00 +0000

Seven years ago today Kelly passed away from her almost twelve year battle with Leukemia. How can that be, and how cruel is it that each year we are left to wonder, what might have been, could things be different for her now, would there be or is there now another treatment that could have saved her life, something that would have let her live a life without cancer?

I still don't understand any of this, there will never be any words that I can write that would make sense of it, so I don't know why I would try again. There are no words, nothing at all that will wash away the hurt of this world without her, a world with blood cancer, a world without Kelly being able to live in it free from cancer,

I wonder what Kelly would be doing today. Would she be running a day care, would she have a husband, where would she be living? Would she have started a family, adopting children to love? All of these unanswerable questions, we will never know, none of us will ever be able to answer. I wonder what would she look like now, what color would her hair be, would her eyes sparkle like they did on prom weekend in 2006, what would she be interested in, what would be the thing that makes her heart leap?

Questions, questions, so many questions, and none that I can answer. Who would she have chosen to love, to spend her life with? Who is that man that will never receive such a gift? How is his life different, because he didn't get to know Kelly, how was his life forever changed by her passing?

I so miss her sweet smile that would light up a room. A smile that cancer took away from us in this world, a smile that lives on in our hearts a smile tucked closely to our hearts in a place that cancer can never reach into. Yes, a place where her smile lives and lives forever.

Gavin, Kelly and Marcy

February Book Review: The Girl On The Train

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Fri, 27 Feb 2015 00:49:00 +0000

An interesting aside to my reading this book was to find out that my daughter, Laura was reading this book at the same time that I began reading the book and we both were intrigued by the hype that this was the next Gone Girl.

After reading this book, Laura and I both agree that this book didn't turn out to be the next Gone Girl, but overall it was a decent way to while away the hours in pursuit of reading for enjoyment.

Similar to Gone Girl, this novel is narrated by different characters in the book. I could have done without Anna as I didn't find her to be a very compelling character.

I thought there were some decent twists and turns that needed to be unraveled. One narrator would seem to be leading the story in one direction, while the other narrator would point you down a different path.

I didn't particularly care for the ending of the novel, but I didn't hate it like I did with the ending of Gone Girl.

If you are looking for a fun read and nothing more I think Girl on the Train is worth a look.

January book review

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Sun, 18 Jan 2015 17:15:00 +0000

One of my goals for this year was to read a book each month and then write a short review about it.

I found this to be a difficult book to read. I had to put it down several times. Anyone growing up in a family may may see glimpses of their own experience within the pages of this novel.

The book stirred uncomfortable memories of my childhood. Brought fears to the surface about what I perceived as my shortcomings as a father. Was I a ghost to my children?

"It's the things a family is silent about that say more than what they talk about all the time."~Scott Berkun

The author paints a powerful picture of the dysfunction in his family, the longing he had to understand who his father was, the choices that he had made.

Someone once told me that when you are born your parents give you two gifts. They take a picture of you and then they give you an evaluation of that picture. This author spent much of his life, seeking the evaluation of that picture from his Father.

I felt conflicted as the book ended. I had hoped for a different outcome, but this was real life.

I would recommend reading this book, but would advise anyone reading it to be prepared to feel uncomfortable and to be open to the possibility of choosing something new for yourself.

Welcome to 2015

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Fri, 02 Jan 2015 22:26:00 +0000

I have been thinking about how to welcome in this new year. I am not a fan of new year's resolutions. I don't think that making a resolution will effect lasting change. I think goals and intentions are more effective.

A resolution is weak, a commitment is strong.

You only make commitments for things you can control.

You can make a New Year's resolution to lose weight this year, but you can't commit to it.

However, you can make a commitment to running, cycling, and lifting weight three times a week and eating a calorie deficit of 500 calories a day.

Having said that, here are my goals for 2015. Over the course of a year the goals may need to be adjusted. After a year where I ran a grand total of four times, rode my bike outside a total of three times the very first goal I have set may not a realistic goal. So rather than abandoning an unmet resolution, a goal can be adjusted. During the years when I was fortunate enough to be able to run marathons, I always had an A race time goal if everything went perfectly, a B race time goal, all the way to a D race time goal. Over the vastness of running 26.2 miles anything could happen and over the vastness of a year an athletic goal will most likely need some tweaks. Only once in my running years did I ever exceed a yearly mileage goal so while I can commit to this goal, I will need to stay healthy and avoid the injury bugaboo that has derailed me in the past.

So here are my goals that as I begin this year are in my control.

2015 miles. This can be done either running, cycling, swimming, walking for a total of 2015 miles. I don't care what the medium I use to accomplish this. Moving forward is the goal.
Read one book a month and write about it here or publish a review on Amazon.
Donate platelets fifteen times.

“Sometimes I can feel my bones straining under the weight of all the lives I’m not living.”
—Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close

Father Time marches on undefeated

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 31 Dec 2014 02:34:00 +0000

I went to my first ever Orange Theory class yesterday with Adam. We ran right next to each other on the treadmill and I glance over to see that our heart rates were almost identical. When my heart rate was at 158, I was at 95% of my maximum heart rate nearing the upper limit of my red zone. Adam's heart rate was identical to mine and he was in the upper end of the green zone, almost entering the lower end of the orange zone.

I checked a few other times and when my heart rate reached 162 I was at 102% of my maximum heart rate. Adam was at 82%, safely in the orange zone. Interesting to note how our hearts were pumping the same number of times and I was flat lining, in the Danger Will Robinson zone and Adam was at the lower end of the Orange zone. Oh to be 24 again.

At the end of the class we are able to view how much time we had spent in each of the zones. I joked with Adam that I had clearly "won" as the pyramid view of my heart rate showed clearly that I had spent almost 21 minutes of a 57 minute workout in the Orange zone and almost 31 minutes in the Red zone. Actually I think this makes me the biggest loser, a clear indication that I am out of shape. The goal is to spend no more than 20 minutes of the workout in the Orange or Red Zone. I had 51 minutes total.

Much of the time that I spent in the Red zone, I was at total rest, doubled over, gasping for breath hoping my heart rate would come down.

Clearly I have work to do and I have no illusions about taking down Father Time. After all he is undefeated.

Rocky

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Sat, 27 Dec 2014 19:16:00 +0000

We had to take our poodle Rocky to the Vet this morning. It was time to say goodbye and let him run free again with no pain in his legs.

Rocky came to live with us on November 11, 2001. He was a show dog at heart. We never showed him, but he had it in him. Whenever he was out on a walk, and a person would approach he would change his gait and proudly began to prance. He could be a ham.

He had such a sweet disposition. He was a happy go lucky and at times a very ungraceful dog. He could be quite athletic in one moment and then mistime his jump and end up doing a face plant.

Laura and Adam grew up from the teenage and pre teen years with Rocky. This morning we all went together as a family to the vet.

We stayed with him the whole time during the procedure, never leaving his side. It seemed to be the least we could do for him.

When Laura went out of state for her Freshman year in College, it really hit Rocky hard. Every time when Laura would come home from college for a break, he was her shadow. He would lay on her lap and lick her obsessively. Even in this last year whenever she would come over to the house for a visit he would still perk up.

Rocky would wait up for Adam to come home from his radio gig at Mile High Sports or from a late night of working out at the gym and happily trundle downstairs to Adam's room.

I think Rocky was more Laura's and Adam's pet then he was ours. How he loved his kids.

Rocky loved taking Adam to school in the morning, and loved it even more when he got to pick him up after school. Rocky would always cry in the morning when Adam would get out of the car.

Rocky loved going to the Furry Scurry in May. We have many happy memories of Rocky as he would make many new "friends" during the annual two mile walk.

Rocky takes on the obstacle course at the 2008 Furry Scurry

Rocky loved the first snow of every year and would happily bound into the snow.

It was so hard to have to say goodbye to Rocky. I shed many tears last night and I know that are more tears to shed. I am okay with that. I love Rocky and that love doesn't stop with his passing.

I am so grateful for the thirteen years that we were blessed to have Rocky share his life and love with us.

Go chase those bunnies now! I love you Rocky!!!

#Reverb14 Day 1

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Tue, 02 Dec 2014 02:31:00 +0000

Day 1 prompt for Reverb14:

At the start | Where did you start 2014? Give us some background on this year.

I started the year off building a website Honor with Action which was built in honor of Claire Davis who was shot and killed by a fellow classmate in December at Arapahoe High school.

I built the site using Ruby on Rails. It was a simple site that gave some background about Claire with a call to action. Claire was armed only with kindness as she faced her killer so the call to action is to live like Claire and to make your actions speak so loudly that we can not hear your words.

I attended her memorial service which was attended by thousands of people who came together to honor Claire's life and listened to her father's impassioned plea to forgive the young man who had killed his daughter.

I was attending a web development immersion boot camp in Austin and returned from Denver for the final four weeks of the course. It was hard to get back on the plane for the final leg of this journey. I did not want to go back.

I woke up one morning in mid January with an intense pain in my left leg. I was having a really bad calf attack. I have had this numerous times over the years, but this one felt different. Hours later I could barely walk. I didn't think much of it at the time, but it was a foreshadowing of things to come.

We began the final project which entailed many hours of hacking away during a weekend so we could give an initial presentation to the class on Sunday afternoon. The pain in my left leg continued to persist and seemed to be worsening. Over the course of the next two weeks we continued to work on the final project and it had reached the point where it would take twenty minutes for me to walk six blocks from where I parked my car to get to school. Something was definitely wrong

The final week of class had finally arrived. I was so looking forward to leaving Austin and returning to Denver.

On the morning of the day that we were to give our final presentations to the Austin Tech community, the pain in my left leg had become so intense that I went to an Urgent Care Center. They immediately sent me over to the emergency room at a hospital to see if I might have a blood clot in my leg.

The initial diagnosis from the Ultrasound were negative. No explanation for the cause in my leg, but the doctor assured me that I would be safe to make the 900 mile or so drive back to Denver the following day. She encouraged me to stop ever hour or so and walk for a few minutes to promote circulation in my leg.

I headed home the next day and called my primary care physician to make an appointment as the doctor at the hospital told me that I needed to follow up with my doctor because "something is going on" and we needed to figure out what that something was.

I finally made it back home around 5:00 the following day. I was home at last with my family.

I was looking forward to watching the Super Bowl the following day. It had been 15 years since the last time the Broncos were in a Super Bowl.

The Super Bowl was a super bust. Everything went wrong beginning with the first play from scrimmage and we watched in disbelief as the record setting high powered offense was relegated to a single consolation touchdown in order to avert the first shutout in Super Bowl History. A season that had so much promise ended in shambles as the Broncos lost 43-8. Sue and I had lived through many of these Bronco Super Bowl shellackings before.

The next day I met with my doctor and after discussing the symptoms with him briefly he stepped out of the room and made a phone call to discuss this with another doctor. He came back and told me, when it sounds like a duck and quacks like a duck, then you treat it like a duck. It sounds like a blood clot and ordered another ultrasound. I walked across the hall and told the technician that I had a prior Ultrasound done in Austin 4 days prior.

Very early into the procedure she confirmed that I did indeed have a blood clot in my leg. How this was missed just a few days ago was and is still a mystery to me.

So I began 2014 with a blood clot in my leg and hopes of beginning a career as a Ruby on Rails Web developer.

ALS Ice Bucket Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 27 Aug 2014 00:57:00 +0000

It is only supposed to take 24 hours to complete the ALS ice bucket challenge once you have been nominated.

Well it took me almost 144 hours. I am not good enough with my i-phone to take the challenge selfie style like Adam did, so I had to wait for my videographer, but I finally got it done.

So as I waited for my schedule to sync up with Adam I completed what I think are three essential steps to take before dumping a bucket of ice water over your head.

Donate
Educate
Advocate

Check out the video that Adam put together for me and then take on the challenge yourself.

Visit ALSA.org o learn more about how you can get involved.

Remember you have 24 Hours to:

Donate
Educate
Advocate
Participate

Writing 101, Day One: Unlock the Mind

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Mon, 02 Jun 2014 22:23:00 +0000

Today's assignment: Loosen up. Unlock the mind. Free write for twenty minutes. Don't think about what you'll write. Just write.

And for the first twist? Publish this stream of consciousness post on your blog.

I occasionally write 750 words of unfiltered thoughts at 750.words.com so this is somewhat similar. The challenge in doing this today will be actually writing the gibberish and then posting them.

I went to see my primary care doctor for to have my INR(international normalized ratio) levels tested. I developed a blood clot in my leg in January and have been taking Coumadin(blood thinner medication for the last four months).

I haven't been to the doctor for four weeks and I was hoping that my INR level would be within the acceptable range between 2.0-3.0.

Bummer, the INR came back at 1.71 which is too low. So tonight I have to double up on my Coumadin dosage and then go back to the normal dose and then go back next week to find out if this week was a fluke or if I have to adjust my dosage yet again.

I will be so glad when this episode is over. Two months to go and hopefully the blood clot will have resolved itself and I can donate blood again and put this behind me.

Every Monday I receive an e-letter from Hannah Brencher, a young writer who made a strong offer in the world several years ago to write everyone in the world a love letter that needed it.

Her wisdom for the day: "You. Don’t. Get. To. Do. This. Again." This is our one life to be lived.

One of the many blogs that I receive updates from posted a cute song that was written about of all things, writing code set to the tune of Barry Manilow's, I write the songs.

I am always so amazed when I see the creativity that other people have. Creativity envy.

I have kind of gotten away from writing. Every year the frequency of my published posts diminish, although my draft folder has over one hundred items in it now. Why I keep them I don't know. I am a pack rat even in cyber-space. Hoarding data, thoughts unpublished over the last six years.

I have posted a few times lately on Medium which I think has a fantastic community of writers. I enjoy stopping over there and reading interesting stories.

I particularly enjoy reading the inspirational stories that I find them. A bunch of uncovered jewels to sift through.

Sometimes that does bring up the comparison trap, I can't write as well. I am not creative. I enjoy re-tweeting the articles that I find and sharing that work in the world.

Two of our dogs are older now, Harley is 15 plus years and Rocky is almost 13. I don't want to think about how much time we have left with them. I want to enjoy the gift that they are in our lives.

Ah, that worry about the future. Truly the biggest thief of joy that there is in our lives.

I began listening to a mediation by Mastin Kipp about forgiveness. I wonder if other people have breakthrough's when they listen to this meditation. Forgiveness is the gift that I give to myself, why do I resist it so?

I am not looking forward to the NBA championship finals. The thought of another Miami Heat championship makes me cringe. I am a huge San Antonio Spurs fan. I love the ways the Spurs play basketball and to me the Spurs stand for everything that I love about basketball, playing as a team, setting picks, running the give and go. Tim Duncan is one of the most underrated players of all time and he is one of the fundamentally sound players I have ever seen and his bank shot to me is truly a thing of beauty.

The Miami Heat represent everything that I hate about the NBA product. One on one basketball dominated by arrogant and selfish players. Brute force basketball.

Time is up.

Daily Post June Writing Challenge

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Mon, 02 Jun 2014 21:11:00 +0000

I haven't been writing much this year and each year the postings become more infrequent so in the hope of getting back to writing more regularly, I am going to participate in the June 2014, blogging challenge. Each day, Monday-Friday during the month I will receive a writing prompt along with an additional twist to complete as part of the daily assignment.

So the goal is to write and publish twenty times this month.

Now on to day one!

Thirty One Years

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Wed, 30 Apr 2014 23:01:00 +0000

Sue and I got married thirty one years ago. That is a crap ton of years as Sue likes to say.

We flew to San Francisco for our honeymoon. Sue's brother Rick drove us to the airport and offered to buy us a drink, but he didn't have his wallet so we ended up paying for the drinks :)

One of my first memories of what was to come in our lives together occurred when I hailed a cab to take us to our hotel in Downtown San Francisco.

The cab I hailed was pink and inexplicably to me, Sue found this to be hilarious. She giggled all the way from the airport to our hotel.

Years later we would describe this as road tripping, when Sue and Laura would begin to laugh uncontrollably about something that may or may not have been funny.

Adam and I would look at each other and wonder what in the world is happening.

Cab Drivers reaction when encountering road trippers...

When Sue and first got married she had only been to other other state(Nebraska).

Sue saw the ocean for the first time on our honeymoon and in the years that have followed we have crossed two oceans together, raised our two incredible children Laura and Adam in a house filled with love.

We said our goodbye's to people we loved who shaped us into the people we are.

My Grandmother, Sue's Mother and Grandmother, my Aunt Joy and Uncle Norm and my dear friend Kelly.

We have shared the disappointments during our career's, job loss, a failed business, extended bouts with auto-immune diseases.

Maybe nothing all that remarkable that any couple that has been married a crap ton of years and it is in the ordinary that we find that which makes our lives together extraordinary.

Thanks for choosing me to share your one wild and precious life with.

“Instructions for living a life.
Pay attention.
Be astonished.
Tell about it.”
― Mary Oliver

Remembering Columbine

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Sun, 20 Apr 2014 16:50:00 +0000

It has been fifteen years since the world that we live in was forever changed by the shootings at Columbine High School.

Today the anniversary of that horrible day falls on Easter where families will gather for Easter Egg hunts and consume chocolate bunnies.

So today I remember all that was taken from us on that day and all that we have lost since then.

Cassie Bernall, Stephen Curnow, Corey DePooter, Kelly Fleming, Matt Kechter, Daniel Mauser

Daniel Rohrbough

Coach Dave Sanders, Rachel Scott, Isiah Shoels, Lauren Townsend, John Tomlin, Kyle Velasquez

Columbine High School, April 20 1999

We are Columbine!

Asbestos Awareness Week April 1-7

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Thu, 03 Apr 2014 21:54:00 +0000

I learned today from a comment left on my blog that this is Asbestos Awareness Week. My new friend Heather asked me to share her story and even sent me some awesome pictures to share as well.

A Mother' and daughter's love!

Please take a few minutes to learn about the dangers of Asbestos and follow the links in the article and share the message with your friends and family on Twitter, on Facebook, wherever you can.

Every year 3,000 people are diagnosed with Mesothelioma, a deadly cancer caused by exposure to Asbestos.

On average these people are given 10 months to live, 300 days, 7,200 hours.

Imagine what might be possible if 7,200 people shared this message, used their voices to raise awareness, sharing a simple message that could save a life.

Make your actions echo so loudly that no one will be able to hear your words. Heather beat the odds, will you be a voice so others can as well?

"Remember: From awareness grows hope. Each voice could save a life."~Heather Von St. James

Cameron, Lily and Heather

Will you commit to being one of the 7,200 voices this week?

Thoughts about Kelly

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Tue, 18 Mar 2014 03:04:00 +0000

Six years.

It has been six years now since Kelly's Dad called me to tell me that Kelly had died.

Kelly has been in my thoughts a lot this last week.

I went back and reread many of the posts from Kelly's CaringBridge page during her last month.

It has been six years and it was like stepping back into yesterday.

I cried, I felt sad. I felt inspired, grateful for her life, for the love she brought to my life.

My wife, Sue who is so much wiser then me has told me for years, that I perhaps I missed the biggest gift that Kelly gave to all of us that knew her.

Gratitude.

Choosing to be grateful in spite of her circumstances.

Kelly chose her life, which meant choosing her cancer for everything that is was.

Adam rented a movie for us to watch last night, About Time.

I loved this line from the movie.

"I just try to live every day as if I've deliberately come back to this one day to enjoy it as it is was the final day of my extraordinary life."

Here's to Kelly.

“The lamp has not been quenched, it’s just that the dawn has arrived”~Irish Proverb

Kelly, Marcy, Molly, Adam and Rose, Disneyland 2001

Dreaming of Kelly

noreply@blogger.com (Ross) — Tue, 04 Mar 2014 02:03:00 +0000

I had the most amazing dream the other night.

I was in a room full of people, I don't know who they were.

Kelly walked into this room. Kelly was 25 years old in my dream. She looked amazing.

I ran over and hugged her and fell into her arms crying.

"Why are you crying?", she asked me in wonderment.

"I am so happy to see you", I told her.

I looked around the room for a familiar face, for the people who would know, who would understand what Kelly meant to me.

There was no one in the room with me who knew who Kelly was for me. I so wanted to find someone and tell them this is Kelly.

The alarm went off on Sue's I-phone. I couldn't get back to my dream.

What did this dream mean? I haven't had a dream about Kelly in such a long time and in this dream she was alive, vibrant. This was the Kelly I knew while she was alive.

The last month since I have been home from Austin has been very difficult for me. I am dealing with the aftermath of a blood clot in my left leg. I have felt discouraged after completing the web training in Austin. I have felt sad, lonely.

Kelly has always known when I most need her and even now she found a way to reach out to me, to touch and comfort me beyond the portals of time.

In love and gratitude for Kelly Melissa Sandra Grubb.