Running Peanut

Postpartum Progress: 5 Months

2013-05-14T21:20:00.001-04:00

Rollin' rollin' rollin'....

Hello, my name is Squiggles (yes, we really call her that) and I'm addicted to rolling. The innocent baby kind of rolling, of course - not the habit of '90's ravers. I'm trying really hard to crawl, but so far, it's just a lot of aimlessly wriggling my legs. Give me another month or two.

The biggest development over the last few weeks is the rolling. It's constant. As you may recall, C's aunties decided to unswaddle her when they came for a visit and kept her for the night. Well, as it turns out, they unswaddled her at just the right time. C started rolling not even a week later.Along with the rolling, C also started sleeping on her side and her tummy. Consequently, I am really glad she now wears a sleep sack.

C is thriving in daycare. Her teachers are wonderful and they have a particular knack for listening to my concerns while gently providing guidance and advice. They are with her eight or nine hours a day; as sad as it makes me, they probably know my child almost as well as I do. In return, I listen up when they provide feedback about her habits. I look at it as having two extra sets of eyes on her wellbeing.

Also, C may or may not have a daycare boyfriend. Daddy isn't too thrilled about that development.

C went for her follow up with the speech therapist on Monday and her prognosis is excellent. Despite this, we are nowhere near introducing solids. Knock on wood, she's satisfied with her bottles and continues to sleep through the night. Solids seem unnecessary right now. We'll address this with her pediatrician at her six month visit, as well as recommendations for first foods.

Speaking of six months, we are still waiting until the six month point to put her in the jogger. I want her pediatrician to OK it first. That being said, I can't wait to take C for a spin around the block.

As for me,

Well, I'm not really losing weight. I guess I would like to lose another five pounds to put me at my goal weight, but part of me thinks it's kind of stupid and lame to obsess about five measly vanity pounds. Plus I hate the words "goal weight" - like, how do you even set a "goal weight?" Mine is so arbitrary. And why am I SAP'ing (that's strategic arm pose) all my post-baby pictures? I don't do that in real life. Ick.

After all, I am at a healthy BMI, even if I am not super skinny and I'm still toning up the pooch. At the end of the day, I just don't have the heart to obsess about my food intake. Life is really short and I like cupcakes and wine. Plus, I hate hearing people whine about their constant quest for a bikini body. A'int nobody care what you look like in a bikini except you. Unless you're Giselle, of course.

I will admit that I've been extremely overtired and stressed out lately. Work is crazy and a few things in my personal life have been quite difficult. I had been working out five times a week fairly consistently until last week, when I realized that I needed a break. I took a few days off and things are a little better, but not 100%. I think I need more sleep. Then again, who doesn't?

That Time I Got Asked to Relactate

2013-05-08T07:00:00.000-04:00

C and I finally had the appointment with the speech therapist on Monday. As you may recall, C was referred for speech therapy due to the amount of time it was taking for her to drink a bottle.

The appointment was enlightening, to say the least.

First, I was asked a series of questions about my labor.

Was I induced? Yep.
How long did I have Pitocin? 11 hours
Did I need oxygen? Yes, during the pushing phase
Was C ever in distress? I was never specifically told that C was in distress, but when I told her therapist that I had an internal monitor, she gave me this face:

Great.

After the Q & A session, C got a physical evaluation of her mouth, cheeks and jaw. Her motor strength on the right is 4/5 - perfectly acceptable. On the left? 1/5. Fail. The therapist wasted no time telling me that nursing her would have been impossible, which is great and all, but that's something I'd really like to move past. We went through a series of exercises that I have do to with her six times per day for the next three weeks, plus a new way to hold her during feedings that mimics breastfeeding.

Then, she asked me if I wanted to relactate. As in - restart nursing. Then, she asked me if I wanted to go ahead and "put her to my breast?" Like, right then and there.

'Scuse me?

Last time I checked, I am not an XL pacifier. Plus, I couldn't even produce an amuse-bouche of milk right now.

I was kind of amazed. I haven't nursed in three months. Was that a serious, legitimate option?

"Oh sure, it comes back in no time. We'll just get you some lactation tea."

Yeah? Well this is what my boobs think.

Ever heard that song, "The Gambler?"

"You gotta know when to hold them, know when to fold them."

I put myself through enough trying to nurse the first time around. I'm not going back for round two. I actually researched relactation awhile ago and it's not easy. You have to nurse around the clock, which would probably be a teeny bit of a hassle with that little thing I have called a full time job. Never mind the fact that I sold my pump and gave away my nursing supplies.

No. Just no. Actually, make that HELL no.

The therapist assured me that with three weeks of physical therapy, C should be back up to speed. Nursing her might help it go faster, but really? It's only three weeks as it is.

What I found totally appalling was the fact that I saw FIVE lactation consultants (four in the hospital, one private) and three pediatricians and not one of them caught on to an obvious developmental delay until it was too late for me to successfully nurse. I could have gotten this straightened out months ago, not mere weeks before we are supposed to start solids. Apparently, the type of labor I had should have been a clue that her motor skills might suffer some delay.

Ugh. Another lesson learned.

My First Trail Race: Margaritas and Manure 12k

2013-05-06T13:23:00.001-04:00

After a terrible experience at my last race, I am so happy to report that I found a little redemption in the form of dirt, cow pastures, single treks, and sand. Yesterday was my first trail running experience, and I cannot say enough good things about the entire experience.

A couple of weeks ago, one of my running buddies emailed me about a brand new trail race taking place on May 5. In keeping with the day's theme, the name of the race was Margaritas and Manure. There were options for a 50k, a half marathon, and a 12k. We chose the 12k. We chose wisely.

The race was held at Palm Bluff Conservation park in Osteen, about a 40 minute drive from Orlando. Upon arrival, we noticed a few tents from folks that camped out the night before. Being the city dwellers that we are, we found this significant enough to be photo worthy. This was our attempt at subtlety. #Fail.

We picked up our packets and got our chips in no time. The 50k had already started and the half started approximately 1/2 hour before the 12k. Pretty soon, it was time to get in line. Here's the start:

Not your average road race, right?

The race director got on a bullhorn and gave us a few tips about the course: we would be running one loop of the red course. The red course is marked with red "blazes", spray-painted diamonds found on tree trunks, as well as red flags like those you'd see an estimator use. He advised us that if we had been running for five or ten minutes and did not see another runner, we might want to retrace our steps because it meant we were probably lost. Gulp. Getting lost in the woods without cell phone service is not my idea of a good time.

He also let us know that there were three aid stations stacked with all kinds of goodies like chips, M & M's, PB &; J's, oranges, bananas, and Gatorade. When we registered, runners had been advised to bring our own bottles to keep trash down to a minimum. I figured that the aid stations were meant for the longer course runners, and hadn't planned on eating, so I skipped them. I had also brought a Nathan Quickdraw Water Bottle with me so there wasn't really a need for me to stop.

P.S. - If you run with water all the time you are my hero. I find holding a water bottle to be incredibly annoying.

The race was chipped timed but there was no timing mat at the start, so I started my watch as soon as the bullhorn went off. We hit sand almost immediately and it wasn't long before I figured out that my pace was going to suffer pretty badly. The first mile was just about trying to find my footing. The scenery, however, was gorgeous.

Sometime around 1.5 miles in, we literally ran through a cow pasture. We were even told to close the gate to make sure the cows did not get out. However, I didn't spot any cows. Hmm. The dirt for much of the second mile was more compact and the road widened into a double trek. I ran this mile with a new friend and we laughed about how hard it was to keep a 9:30 pace. I was literally panting, and we were only two miles in. There were times where I could pick it up and run under a 9:00 mile, but there were many more where I'd see my pace creep up into the 10:00 - 10:15 range. The pace changes were definitely something that surprised me.

It was around this time that my stomach was giving me problems. It felt like there was a vice squeezing my insides. Had this been a road race, I might have looked for a porta-potty. Instead, I took a walk break.

Miles three, four, and five were almost exclusively on winding single treks that we so narrow I could neither stop nor pass anyone. I willed myself not to walk through these three miles. The underbrush was right next to the trail and I could hear animals rustling around. Like Jackie, snakes are one of my biggest fears, so I tried not to think about the rather high probability that one of the rustles I heard was likely serpentine in origin. I later learned there was a coral snake spotted on the trail. *Shudders*

This abandoned house was at about mile 5. Pretty, right?

I literally followed the same guy for nearly the last three miles of the course because I had no way of passing him. Finally, with about a mile left, the course opened up and I made my move. There was no one in front of me (they all had a big lead on me) and I almost turned the wrong way, but finally, the finish line appeared. I also had a woman chasing me pretty hard for the last half mile. It was super fun to race her and we acknowledged pushing each other at the end. The people who ran this race were amazingly friendly. I would run a trail race again just for that atmosphere.

About the guy I was following: after the race, he congratulated me and then remarked, "Well, I haven't really run since December." So I opened up my big mouth and countered with, "I just had a baby in December." #Prideful #OneUpper

Our medal was a margarita class, margarita included. So what if it was 10:00 a.m.? That baby was good!

There was also a full spread of food - the best I've ever seen in a race. I ate two bean burritos, chips, and got a real Coke (the kind with no HFCS) to take home.

I was completely shocked at how exhausted I was. Trail running is no joke. My friends and I agreed that if we were to do a half marathon on a trail, we'd need a lot more training. I ran this race in 1:12:48, a 9:40 pace, and the half marathon I ran a couple of weeks ago at about an 8:45 pace (with hills and wind) was way easier. Wow. That's pretty humbling.

A few of the things I think helped me:

Bringing my own water. That's a no-brainer, really. I needed a lot more water on this run than I do on a road. I drank all 20 ounces while running and then had two more bottles after the race. The aid stations are spaced reasonably far apart, but I was quite thirsty because it was very sunny and I was working really, really hard.
My shoes. I ran in my Pure Flows and I liked how I could feel the ground a bit more than I would have in my more cushioned Defyances.
My watch. Obviously, there are no mile markers in the middle of the woods. The Garmin helped me know where I was. I did, however, have to ignore my pace. It was all over the place and entirely dependent on the terrain.
No music. You need to pay attention in the woods, not get lost or trip. Or eaten by a bear.

Ever run a trail race? How do you think it's different from a road race? What tips would you offer a newbie like me?

Postpartum Progress: Four Months

2013-04-24T20:29:00.001-04:00

A little overdue (just like C), here's our four month progress report!

Major milestones:

Rolling from side-to-side. She's rolled over completely a couple of times at daycare, but I haven't seen it happen yet. Sigh. Working mother problems.
Giggling - C is ticklish under her arms and on her belly and now we can make her laugh. Coolest thing ever.
I think she's starting to recognize her name. She definitely knows who Mommy and Daddy are. She also turns toward the person who is talking.
She now sleeps without her swaddle, thanks to my sister-in-law who decided to pull the plug cold turkey. (we didn't mind)
C had her first daycare cold. Now we are in a seemingly never ending cycle of runny noses. We catch everything she brings home. It's fun!

Other updates:

Who, me?

At her four month check up, C was 13 pounds, seven ounces and 23 3/4 inches long. She's in the 50th percentile for head circumference and weight and the 75th percentile for height.
We finally moved up to the level two nipples. Bottles are now finished in about ten to fifteen minutes. This is a major improvement over the forty minutes it was taking. She usually takes five ounces per bottle and eats five to six times per day.
C is finally grown out of most of her three month clothes (although some do still fit), and is now in 3-6 month clothing. 6 month clothing from Carter's tends to be too big - for now.
She's in a size two diaper.
Total drool machine. We have to keep bibs on her at all times!

I'm a Florida baby for sure - like my flamingo?

I was very fearful of the four month sleep regression, but (fingers and toes crossed, knock on wood), we have not experienced it. My pediatrician told me that only 10% of babies go through it, but based on my friends, the numbers seem to be a lot higher! I know we are in for it in another two months, though. I hear six months is rough!

As you can see, C's neck control is getting much better. It won't be long until she's ready for the jogging stroller (pending pediatrician approval, of course). Man, it'll be nice to have some quality running time with J and her.

As for me:

My weight seems to have settled. I would like to lose a little more around the abdomen area, but then agin, what woman doesn't? Especially one who had a baby fairly recently? I'm participating in Best Body Bootcamp and am proud to announce that after two weeks of hating planks, my abdominal separation seems to have healed. And I can do real push ups - like, five of them! Woo hoo!

The tummy is a sloooow progress.

Running is going great. Aside from the disastrously short half marathon I ran, I have no complaints.

Being a working mom?* Now that is a huge adjustment. Let me be candid: I am exhausted. J is exhausted. It's hard work. J and I sit down every Sunday and make our plan for the week. We literally write down everything: who picks her up from school, who puts her to bed, who gets to work out at night, etc., etc., etc. We plan our meals and free time, too. Yes, we make plans to relax.

Now, our family thinks this hilarious and OCD. But with our jammed schedules, it's 100% necessary. And to be completely honest, it's 9:00 at night before I can sit down and have a minute to think. I know lots of you can relate. We get home from work and then it's playtime, dinner time, bath, bottle, wash bottles, repack daycare bag, restore house to homeostasis. Repeat. Over and over.

I also want to emphasize that I have a supportive husband. He works his tail off and helps me quite a bit. This is a big adjustment for him as well.

The biggest issue is finding time for ourselves and for each other. We are working on it. I really don't think you can underestimate the importance of a strong marriage, and marriage takes work. For us, it's about remembering that we are spouses first and parents second.

*That is not to say that stay at home moms work any less hard. Let's not open up that can of worms. We're all working our butts off here!

After four months, I can honestly say I love my baby more every single day. I thank God constantly for giving me the privilege of being her Mom. I'm sure I'll need to remember those saccharine sweet thoughts when I have a teenager. God help me. And her.

Lake Minneola Half Marathon Race Recap

2013-04-21T20:59:00.001-04:00

I ran my first postpartum half marathon yesterday. It was a huge disappointment.

I signed up on a whim for the Lake Minneola Half marathon after I got sick and was unable to run the Princess Half Marathon. The race was put on by Sommer Sports, a race management company that is well known for its triathlons. This was the inaugural running of the half marathon. In addition to the half, there were options to run a 12k or a 5k.

The half was scheduled to begin at 7:00 a.m. I arrived at Clermont's Waterfront Park at 6:00, one hour prior to what should have been the start of the half marathon. Packet pick up was a breeze; I had plenty of time to use a real bathroom and run back to the car with my tech tee, or rather, my t-shirt. Strike one.

At 6:55, I got in line and immediately spotted Carissa, who was running with her friend Megan. Carissa noticed what I had failed to observe: there was no timing mat at the start. Hmmm.

At 7:00, we were still standing in line. 7:10 - still waiting. At 7:20, a guy with a bullhorn yelled something about the people with the timing mat running late. A few minutes later, he said, "Now we're gonna do something 'kinda cool' and have a moment of silence for Boston." Never happened. No apologies for the late start, either.

We were finally off at 7:30, a full thirty minutes later than planned.

The course, in my honest opinion, was a total head-scratcher. We ran the 5k route first, so we actually ran back through the start/finish area. There were no cones to divide the road during the out and back portions of the course, so you had to dodge the runners coming towards you because we ran in a makeshift figure eight at each turn around. Oh, and when I say other runners, I also mean the people running the 12k, as they started immediately after us.

Do you see that "flat and fast" claim? Well, not so much. The first two miles were quite hilly, and there was actually a sign for the "Hill at Lake Minneola" around nine miles in. That's OK; I dealt with them. Thank goodness I did a few Apopka hill training runs.

Maybe you're wondering, "Gee, Victoria, how did you know you were at mile nine? Was it near the mile marker?"

Why no, dear reader, it wasn't - because there were no markers. There were also several portions of the road where there were no cones to protect us from oncoming traffic. You know what else was missing?

Volunteers for several of the aid stations. Instead, runners were left with stacks of cups and water jugs. I ended up skipping a couple of the water stops because I did not want to lose the time it took for me to wrestle a cup out of a bag, pour the water, drink it, and be on my way.

OK, so the organization was messy. But my race was awesome...until the very end.

I made a mental plan to break the race up into smaller segments: 5k, 10k, 15k, 10 miles, and the last 3.1. In order to guarantee a sub two hour finish, I wanted to be at around 28 minutes for the 5k, 55 minutes for the 10k, and under 1:25 for the 15k. If I could get to the 10 mile marker in under 1:30, I was sure I could finally get my sub two.

So here we go:

5k split: 28:16. OK. Doin' good, feelin' good. Let's keep this up.

10k split: right around 55 minutes.

15k: 1:22:45. Sweet.

10 miles: 1:28:45. This sub two was going to happen. Time to pick it up.

I ran mile 11 in 8:43 and mile 12 in 8:27. I started to get a little emotional. Not only was I going to hit my sub-two goal, but I was probably going to come in around 1:54 or 1:55. An 11 or 12 minute PR was mine! I couldn't help but think how proud my infertile self would have been of me right then and there. Four months postpartum and running a strong half marathon? I never thought I could have done it, yet there I was, pounding away at the pavement like a boss.

I thought about how I ran through my pregnancy, then through all that postpartum exhaustion. How I sacrificed sleep and lunches with coworkers so I could do tempos on a basement treadmill. How all of my hard work was going to pay off. I really did it. I had my precious baby, and then I ran my fastest half marathon ever.

And then the wheels fell off.

I turned a corner and saw the finish line. It looked really close - too close. Before I knew it, I was finished. In 1:52:24, and 12.85 miles.

I was disgusted. I knew my watch was not that far off; I started asking other finishers and sure enough, none of them had a full 13.1 on their Garmin. Then someone told me it was the same course as the triathlon the next day, and it had been certified. And they were right; that course is certified. Too bad it's not the one I ran.

Then, I heard the race ran out of medals for the half marathon finishers because they gave them all to the 5k and 12k runners. And this was Sommer's excuse, courtesy of their Facebook page:

Yet, this was their response when someone asked about last-minute registrations just a few days prior to the race:

Yeah, that doesn't sit right with me.

Ever done a badly-run race?

A Little Honesty Goes A Long Way

2013-04-18T16:52:00.001-04:00

Presenting four things I need to get off my chest

1. The practice of law has officially made me bitter towards law students.

I never, ever discuss my job on this blog, and with good reason. However, I will make the following sweeping generalizations about attorneys who are around my practice experience level:

We are still in student loan debt;
We don't make as much money as we thought we would when we were graduating;
Half our classmates have quit the legal field altogether;
The amount of crap we put up with on a daily basis is enough that we should all have our own sewer lines running from our computers and desks; and
Half us of wish we went to med school instead. I know - wishful thinking.

So when a newly minted 3L comes up to me and says how excited they are to, "get out there and start practicing," I resist the urge to tell them a) you'll be in doc review for the next two years - the only time you'll see the inside of a courtroom is when you're bringing a partner trial docs and b) you know it's nothing like Legally Blonde, right? and c) therapists - I've got a list. You'll need one.

I mean, just this past week one of my classmates got a letter from an opposing counsel who ripped her to shreds for...wait for it...calling him by his first name. I can't make this stuff up.

For the record, I'm pretty happy in my job and J is in love with his...but I don't doubt for a second that the stress made it that much harder for us to get pregnant.

2. I'm afraid I'll bonk on Saturday.

Saturday - my first half marathon in two years. Ugh. I've done several ten mile runs, but now I'm kicking myself for not having run farther. Am I screwed? Why am I even bothering with this?

WHY DIDN'T I RUN FARTHER THAN 10 MILES???

Hey C, Mommy needs a cuddle and a bottle and possibly her own lovie. Mind if I borrow yours?

Of course, what happens if I do bonk? Nothing. The running gods will not smote me. I will probably at least finish, so at least there's that. This is all self-induced pressure.

3. It's been four months and I am just now sending out birth announcements.

I have no manners. That is like an eternity in the South. I may as well wait until her first birthday.

I also still have thank you notes I need to write from December. My list of people to call grows daily. But by the time my day ends at 9:00 every night, I have no energy. If I had a dollar for every time I said, "I'll get up early and do it tomorrow," I'd be rich.

I forget to RSVP to things all the time. I haven't made anything from Pinterest. I haven't sent out any birthday cards. I haven't set a blogging schedule. My DVR is full of TV I haven't watched.

I don't mean to be rude, but I think I am quite often. I really don't mean it. I'm just tired. And I sleep through my alarm far too often.

Which leads my to my last point.

4. I am hanging on by a thread. A single, gossamer strand.

Then again, who isn't?

Savage Race Recap

2013-04-16T21:18:00.001-04:00

Note: I am obviously aware of the great tragedy and senseless violence that occurred in Boston yesterday. Like any other human being with a pulse, I am saddened and shocked. Please know my heart and prayers go out to all those affected by what happened.

Tased.
Submerged completely in icy cold water.
Forced to army crawl under hundreds of yards of barbed wire.
Compelled to walk the plank.
Covered in mud, murk and more bruises and scratches than I can count.

Yep, Savage Race was totally awesome.

I'm still trying to decide what was more difficult: childbirth, or Savage Race. One of these events bruised me where the sun doesn't shine, and it wasn't the one where I got a baby at the end.

Although I did get a pretty sweet medal.

And mud in places where one should never get muddy:

But, I'm getting ahead of myself. Let me back up:

On Saturday morning, J and I made the trek from Orlando to middle-of-nowhere Florida, better known as Dade City. The view was so pretty:

The banjos were in full swing by the time we got to Little Everglades Ranch, site of the race. We were set to encounter 25 obstacles over 6.75 miles of muddy terrain. Upon arriving to the ranch, we paid our $10.00 to park (more on that later) and started walking towards the course. This was looming in the distance:

That's Colossus, a half pipe on the front, and a giant slide on the back. The grande finale. Oh boy.

Using what little bladder control I have left, I did my best not to pee on myself as we headed towards packet pickup and bag check. Another $5.00 later, we were minus one bag and two rights to a jury trial. Only then were we given our timing chips, which J and I strapped to our ankles. Two seconds after we did so, the gun went off, signaling the start of our heat. We were literally the last two people to cross the start line for the 1:20 wave.

A'ight...good start.

Feeling really confident - not

Much more confident than I am

We started off running and quickly encountered the first obstacle: the "Shriveled Richard." This involved jumping into a tractor-trailer filled with ice, swimming under a piece of ply-board, and swimming out. And just in case you tried to get cute and jump over the ply-board, there was barbed wire strapped to the top of it. The clumps of hair clinging to it told us that was other people had not learned - jumping over was not a good idea.

source - Savage Race Facebook page

The woman in front of us had a panic attack and didn't want to jump in, so we spent a fair amount of time waiting for her to chill out (ha ha - pardon the pun). She finally cooled down (I'm sorry - can't help it) and went in. It was now our turn. Here's J.

He begs to differ

Holy $#!@. The cold knocked the wind right out of me. I steeled myself, took a deep breath, and swam under the plank. The woman in front of us was hyperventilating and, in her panic, could not get out. I eventually had to climb over her.

Ever tried running on numb legs? It's strikingly difficult. Yet, that was our task as we headed towards the next obstacle, running through swinging tires. After that, we tackled dodging tires on the ground and ran through a few muddy areas. The fun was just beginning.

source

Following the tires, we hit "Thor's Grundle," which required us to "duck under wooden baffles to get a face full of mud." I'm fairly certain I swallowed an amoeba or two.

source - Savage Race Facebook page

The next significant obstacle involved a stretch of plastic line sprawled over water. We had to hook our ankles together on top of the line and then push ourselves across the water. It looked sort of like this:

Image source

The good part was that the line sagged quite heavily, so I could put the majority of my body weight into the water. This made the obstacle quite a bit easier.

Next up?

The eight foot wall. The wall was entirely smooth, so I had nowhere to put my foot. J hoisted me up, then came around the other side and helped me down so that I didn't slam my knees into the ground. I noticed that most people needed help with this one.

Picture cribbed from my buddy Carolina's recap of last year's race over at Peas in a Blog

A little bit more running ensued, along with some smaller obstacles. We hit one called "Kiss My Walls." This was an eight foot wall with pegs on the top and bottom. The idea was to grab a peg and pull yourself across the wall using your hands and feet. I made it halfway across before the pegs began to space farther apart. Being short was a major disadvantage here.

Next up?

The "Big A$$ Cargo Net." Surprisingly, I loved this! I would suggest starting on the outside, though -- more tension on the rope made it much easier to climb. And yes, it really was as large as advertised.

source

I was feeling pretty good about myself at this point, but definitely pining for water. Ugh. This is the major complaint I had about the race: the water was spaced very far apart and it was HOT. Now, J and I did start in one of the last waves of the day, but still: hot water does nothing to quench your thirst. Moving on. . .

OK, more obstacles (I can't guarantee these are in order - there's no race course online):

"Me So Thorny": a crawl under barbed wire

source: Savage Race Facebook page

"Lumbar Jack Lane" - carrying a piece of lumbar over your shoulder while trenching through waist deep water

"Colon Blow 5000" - crawling up pitch black drain pipes then sliding down another set of drain pipes into mud. Then another crawl under barbed wire.

source

Then, a simple climb up a slanted, slick wall. I can't believe I made it all the way up.

source

Are you tired yet? I am.

More highlights:

"Davy Jones' Locker" - a jump off a 16 foot platform into water. I was terrified. My stomach dropped the whole way down. I hate heights.

source

Five foot walls - about a million of them. That's why my lady parts are bruised. Not kidding.

"Evil bars:" monkey bars on acid. Yeah, I fell right off and directly into the drink. #NoUpperBodyStrength

"Nut Smasher" a walk across a wobbly balance beam suspended over water. Surprisingly, I made it all the way across without falling.

We also had to climb these hay bales. J gave me lots of help here.

source

The finale was Colossus, followed by crawling under live taser wires, followed by jumping over fire and crawling under barbed wire. Neither J nor I could get up the half pipe, so we had to climb a ladder to get to the slide. Y'all, grown men were panicking up there and refusing to go down the slide. Grown men! I elected not to think about it, plug my nose, and slide down. Hitting the water HURT.

But that didn't suck nearly as badly as the taser. I thought I could crawl low enough to avoid them, but nope: zapped. The tasing itself wasn't painful, but slamming my head on the ground was. J and I happily skipped the second set of them. You know what they say: fool me once...

OK, time to jump over some fire:

The finish line was now in sight: just a little crawl under barbed wire, with some mud thrown in for extra fun:

One of us is taking the easy way out here

Hardcore

Can you tell I was happy to be done?

J and I finished in 1:51:06, good enough to put us in the top 15%. This surprised both of us because we really took our time with the obstacles and did not run the entire course. Of course, the winner finished in 32:00 or something ridiculous like that.

Of all the obstacles, I'd rank the ice as the worst from a psychological perspective and the evil bars/Colossus as the most physically difficult. You really have to be strong to successfully complete them - hence why I failed.

The only mud race I'd done before this one was Muddy Buddy, which is a walk in the park compared to Savage Race. J previously completed a Warrior Dash. He thought the running for Warrior Dash was more difficult due to the amount of sand on the course, but felt Savage Race's obstacles were far more difficult. Overall, the race was really fun and a great bonding experience for J and me.

However, if I had to nitpick a couple of things, I'd have to complain about the separate parking fee and bag check fee and the HOT water on the course. Mentally, I'd rather have paid a couple of extra bucks that were built into the race fee than have to shell out additional cash on race day. With respect to the water, I realize we were in one of the last waves, but ugh - hot water is the worst!

Ever done a mud race? Fun or just a fad?

The Surprise PR

2013-04-08T21:26:00.000-04:00

This is the story of a very unexpected PR.

The Riverside Dash 15k is a brand new race in Sanford, Florida, about 30 minutes away from my house. When the alarm went off at 5:30 on Sunday morning, I considered hitting snooze. Then I remembered how much I paid to run the race and got up.

I arrived at the start with 40 minutes to spare. It was then that I realized I'd worn my extra tight running bra, so it wasn't going to be possible to run with my phone (yes, it goes in my sports bra. Deal with it).

That also meant that I didn't bother with pictures. Lucky for you, someone filmed of the start. I'm about 25 seconds in, wearing a pink skirt and a grey top.

Neurotic New Mom Aside
The race started right in front (and I mean right in front) of Central Florida Regional Hospital's baby wing. For some reason that I can't quite apprehend, the DJ's booth faced the hospital. It was loud - really loud. I couldn't help but be nervous that the new moms in there might be kept up by the crowd gathering mere footsteps away. However, the nurses guarding the entrance assured me that the wing was virtually soundproof. *Crisis averted*

Anyway, back to the race.

About three minutes before the race started, I found my running buddy Kimber. Whew! I was so happy to find her there. Kimber and I started out together. We settled into a comfortable 8:45ish pace and ticked off the first 5k in a little over 27:00 minutes. Unlike the Winter Park Road Race a couple of weeks ago, I did not feel like I was pushing it, even though I ran nearly the exact same pace during that race. For that, I blame the weather. It was absurdly humid during the WPRR and the weather was perfect on Sunday.

The view was really ugly. I was forced to stare at scenes like this for the majority of the race.

source

The course was primarily along the St. John's river, and it was truly gorgeous. Plus, it was as flat as advertised. A+ course.

At around four miles in, I started to run faster. I didn't really look at my watch very often, but when I did, I was constantly hovering around an 8:30 pace. And, it still felt easy. Who was I? Not too long ago, I considered 8:30 to be my 5k pace. Y'all might want to get to church, because it looks like hell is starting to freeze over.

The 10k marker read 53:00 and change when I passed it, at which point I started to think someone was running in my place or playing some extremely elaborate practical joke on me. (I am almost positive that the clock was closer to the 6.0 mile marker than 6.2, but I digress. That's still hauling major booty by my standards.)

With only a 5k left, I decided to see just push and see what I could do. By this point in the race, I could only see two women in front of me. Eventually, I caught up with them and passed them both. I hit mile 7 in just over an hour and started doing some math. Could I do 2.3 miles in 20 minutes and finish this puppy in 1:20? Hmmm. Time to find out.

I actually started passing a bunch of guys. Hell had officially frozen over. We turned a corner and there was the finish. Done. 1:19:27. That was good for a 12 minute PR. Umm, holy crap.

Kimber also had a huge PR, so if you want a better 15k time and live near Orlando, you might want to consider adding this race to your calendar.

Two more weeks until my first half marathon in two years. Yikes.

Five Things

2013-04-04T20:52:00.000-04:00

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1). I am kind of in a funk right now.

C got her first real daycare cold and then passed it along to J and me. Right now it's not too bad, but it is enough that I took an unplanned rest day from Best Body Boot Camp. Having to do that made me seriously grumpy....

....which in turn made me feel I was being a wee bit obsessive. One extra rest day isn't going to make me fat, but it sort of feels that way when you want to work out but you can't. The fact that my entire Twitter feed is talking about how awesome their work outs were today isn't helping.

You're impressed by my notes, aren't you?

2) My abs are even weaker than I thought.

There's lots of emphasis on planking in Tina's boot camp, which is exactly what I need, but it's still depressing that I literally cannot feel my abs. I can barely hold a plank for a minute before my body is shaking and begging me for mercy.

Sorry for taking your abs Mommy

3) I'm running a 15k this weekend.

This is the inaugural running of this race, so I'm hoping it's on the smaller size. I think I have a pretty good chance for PR'ing because my prior 15k races have been hot (literally) messes. I think my PR is around 1:31, or a little under 10:00/mile. According to the website, "[t]he flat and fast course allows you to push yourself, making sure you accomplish greatness in a great race."

Great. I am greatly excited to experience greatness. You better deliver, Dash. And I better get better, or else I'm going to DNS another race.

4) C got referred to a speech therapist for poor oral motor skills.

I took her to the pediatrician because of her cold and casually mentioned that she took forever to drink a bottle...like, 40 minutes to take four ounces. She's also still on the level 1 nipples because she consistently chokes on the level 2s. Apparently this is not normal, so she will need a little physical therapy. We hadn't planned on introducing solids any time soon, but we now know that we are medically precluded from solids introduction until at least six months. She's happy and growing, so I'm not too concerned.

5) I don't understand spending $1,000.00 to run four races.

One. Thousand. Dollars. I mean, sweet baby Jesus. And that doesn't include hotels, transportation, tickets to the park, or most of your meals. WOW. Let me know if you sign up, because I'll be hitting you up for a loan.

10 Tips for Postpartum Running

2013-04-03T06:00:00.000-04:00

1) Work with your current fitness level, not the one you had before pregnancy.

The majority of pregnant women stop running well before their due date, and with good reason: running while pregnant can be totally miserable. Aching joints, Braxton-Hicks contractions, weight gain, and the constant need to pee will stop even the most dedicated runner in her tracks. Given that, it is nearly guaranteed that you will not be in the running shape you were nine months ago.

Keeping that in mind, don't expect your first run out of the gate to be anything like your pre-pregnancy runs. You'll be heavier, slower, and more clumsy than your prior self, but the good news is you're out there and it gets better.

2) Decide when YOU are ready for running.

Nine months of being pregnant made me much more in tune with my body. After all, everything I did and everything I ate directly affected C. As a result, I was very careful not to do anything that could potentially harm her. I knew when I was pushing too hard and I didn't hesitate to cut back when it happened. You've probably developed this instinct, too. Well, don't put it away just yet!

Your return to running may be affected by many things, including the type of delivery you had, the amount of weight you gained during pregnancy, whether or not your baby is sleeping, and if you are nursing. That's a lot of variables you didn't have to deal with before you got pregnant. Recognize that the physical limitations you had during pregnancy aren't quite over with yet (although they won't be there forever)!

Don't ignore that little voice in your head that says something is too difficult. Just because so-and-so started running a month after delivery doesn't mean you'll be ready for the same thing. And that's OK. You are the only person who knows how your body feels. Waiting a couple extra weeks or months will not make a difference in the long-term.

3) Get new shoes.

If it's in the budget, I'd highly recommend getting refitted for shoes. My gait and shoe size are both different now and my shoes were shot to heck from pregnant running. Running in your old shoes puts you at risk for injury.

4) Go slowly.

I'm guessing that if you are currently reading this, you are probably not an elite runner. Accordingly, you shouldn't feel the pressure to bust out speed work two weeks after delivery.

My first mile after delivery was 12:30, a good 3-4 minutes slower than I normally run a mile. The first month or so of running was super humbling. I was out of breath rather quickly and often got side stitches. Remember that your body is no longer used to the physical demands of running. If you push too hard, you risk injury and/or prolonging your recovery from childbirth.

5) Run intervals.

Intervals are a great way to get back into running more quickly while minimizing the risk of injury. For example, you might start with a ratio of three minutes running to one minute walking, then stretch the intervals from there as your endurance improves.

6) Build your mileage slowly.

Most experts recommend the 10% rule. For example, if you ran 10 miles this week, then you'd run 11 the next.

7) Acknowledge that you're going to be tired.

New moms are tired - a lot. The number one question I get from curious strangers is whether C sleeps through the night. Well, most infants won't sleep through the night for at least a few months. Your days (nights?) of getting eight solid hours of sleep were over after second trimester and you may not be getting them back for several months. Sorry. :(

The good news is that over time, your body adapts. It it still means that your runs may be more difficult than they would be had you slept well.

The better news is that even a short run will help you feel more awake and energized when it's over. The best news is the first run you do after a full night's sleep will make you feel like a ROCK STAR!

8) Run with friends

Time away from the baby is precious. Make the most of it! Not only does running with friends keep you accountable, but it also allows you to socialize. Kill two birds with one stone by catching up with friends over a run. Of course, this only works if your friends also enjoy running.

9) Run a race

Ok, so maybe you don't want to sign up for a marathon three weeks after delivery. However, there's nothing wrong with having a target race on your calendar somewhere. Just being in a race environment is fun, even if you run a personal worst. Who cares? The point is that you're out there!

Depending on how active you were during pregnancy, your return to the road may be longer or shorter than others

10) Just get out there.

Even if it means literally scheduling the run in your calendar, find the time to run. Your husband can hang with the baby while you dart out for little bit. You can run before the baby wakes up or while she's taking a nap. It is hard, but it can be done. Remember that you are still you, even with the newly anointed title of Mommy. Finding time to do the things you love is still important. And a bad run is better than no run at all.

source

It's Not What It Looks Like

2013-04-01T20:12:00.003-04:00

Here's my Mom, J, C and me after Easter service yesterday. Pretty pic, right? I set it as my Facebook cover last night.

Here's what it doesn't show:

Me, with just the faintest touch of a hangover (dang you, champagne flight! I was totally over served) mowing down crackers right before service started;
Me, getting busted by the associate pastor for eating said crackers while in church
C pooping all over her Easter bubble dress
My mom bemoaning our choice of service ("the rock 'n' roll show!")
J shifting uncomfortably in the folding chair more suited for a boy half his size
All three of us panting at the thought of our upcoming Easter brunch

Just because something looks perfect doesn't mean it is. I mean, I'm gonna be scrubbing that bubble dress for days.

Shifting gears here. I have an announcement, and it's not April Fools.

I started boot camp today! This is my first experience with strength training. Ever. Well, other than high school cheerleading.

I'm doing bootcamp for three reasons:

One: I'm not happy with the way my belly looks. I've complained about this before, but my core is completely shot thanks to pregnancy. I did crunches today and couldn't even feel my abs.

Two: J and I are going to a beach wedding at the end of the month. That means that at some point I'm going to have to get in a bathing suit. In front of other people. In public. In the light of day. That is a scary prospect.

Three: I am itching to run faster and I think strength training has been a missing component.

I don't plan on sharing my actual measurements, but I will be tracking them and will share if there are any changes. I plan on looking like this when it's all over:

Except for the wings. I have to be realistic in my expectations, you know.

ZKS Winter Park Road Race Recap

2013-03-24T09:27:00.001-04:00

Saturday's race was hot, wet and fast (TWSS). My shoes are still drying.

One hour before the race started, I swung by MomJovi's house to pick her up. Jackie wins for the best race outfit. Check her out. Hint: she's just a little bit of a Syracuse fan:

Also, this is her picture, as are the rest of the pictures in this post.

So Jackie and I get to downtown Winter Park in plenty time to watch the start of the two mile race that started before the 10k. It was slightly chilly weather - perfect for running. We walked over to the Jewett Orthopedic tent to say hi to someone Jackie knew. Five minutes later, the rain came down. Hard.

Well, darn. There went my plans for running with my iPod. I immediately forked over my iPod, car keys, and phone to Jackie's friend for safekeeping. Then I realized I probably needed to use the facilities before the race started. So, I waited for ten minutes, in increasingly pouring rain, to use a port-potty. That was fun. If there's one thing that smells pleasant, it's a muggy port-potty.

Seven minutes before the race started, no one had lined up. With five left to go, Jackie and I begrudgingly left our nice, dry tent and walked to the race start. I found my friend Kristi Lynn (the super pacer I mentioned in my prior post) and asked if I could run with her with the understanding that she could ditch me at any time if she wanted to speed up.

So, off we went, sloshing through puddles on a mostly brick course. Our first mile was 8:57. We did 10 minute intervals with 30 second walk breaks. At the 5k split, we were at 27:04. I did some math (yes, I am a math genius - I multiplied by two) and realized we could finish under 55 minutes, so that became my goal.

Not going to lie - the fourth and fifth miles got tougher. It was muggy and I could hear congestion in my breathing. Kristi Lynn and I didn't talk too much, but we fell into a good pace and pulled each other. When I was feeling it, she kicked it up, and visa versa. I could tell we were both working pretty hard.

With about a mile left, I needed an extra ten seconds of walking, so I told Kristi Lynn to keep going. I never lost sight of her, but I didn't catch up to her either. I saw the race clock as I ran towards the finish line and realized that I probably needed to stop lolly gagging if I wanted to finish under 55 minutes. I kicked it up and finished in 54:47.

Believe it or not, that's a three minute PR for me and a five minute PR for Kristi Lynn!

I found Jackie after the race. She PR'd too, by five minutes. Maybe that was lucky rain!

Jackie and I hung around for a quick minute to see Katy, Marcia, Carissa, and Jean.

I recognized Jean and Marcia from twitter and felt like a total stalker for being all, "hey! great race!" before we'd formally met. #stalker

I learned a couple things from this race:

1) Tangents

I ran them terribly. My watch showed 6.3 miles. Whoops.

2) Pace

I thought we did well pacing, although I was dragging by the last mile. I am going to take that to mean I ran as hard as I could. Also, pacing credit goes entirely to Kristi Lynn. I would have flopped without her.

3) Do the work

That's what I told myself for the last mile. I wasn't going to screw my time by falling apart in the last mile. I took just a short enough walk break to make it - albeit barely.

4) I'm getting closer to a sub two hour half, but I've got a lot more work left.

Did you go racing this weekend? How did you do?

I Forgot How to Race

2013-03-22T10:02:00.003-04:00

First, thanks to everyone who commented on my last post. WOW. You guys are amazing!

So, tomorrow is my first real race in two years. Say What? Didn't I run a race at Universal in January and another 5k with my running group last month? Well, yes. But it's been a really long time since I've been in training mode and even longer since I've gone into a race trying to beat the clock, not just finish the distance.

The last two years were ones of easy running thanks to pregnancy and trying to get pregnant. Some of you longtime readers will recall that the Winter Park 10k was the first race I did after being told that long-distance running was interfering with my ability to get knocked up. As a result, I ran it easy and finished in 57:35.

Now that the pregnancy chapter of my life is closed, I want to see what I can do. Here are my problems:

1) I suck at pacing myself.

Kristi-Lynn, my group leader, might be the most even-paced runner I have ever met. Running with her is like running with a metronome. If she says, "today we are running a 9:00 pace," then by golly, we are running 9:00 miles. Not 9:20. Not 8:40. 9:00. I am therefore spoiled and have never really learned good pacing. Instead, I follow KL like a baby duck follows her mommy. Because if I could have her pace me for every run of my life, I would. I am that lazy.

2) I don't know what my goal time should be.

OK, now I recognize that talking about time on a running blog can be likened to talking about your weight. So sorry. But anyway...

On the treadmill, an 8:30 pace is easy to me. I have no problems running 5 miles at that pace - on the treadmill. Last week, I ran 8.5 miles at 9:22 outside, and I wanted to die. Now, I was sick to my stomach (thanks, spicy tuna roll), but still - that's a big difference. I don't know which Victoria is going to show up. Also, why am I so much faster on a treadmill? I do put it on a 1% grade.

3) I am not mentally strong yet. Doubt is creeping in.

You guys know that running is super mental. Well, my mind doesn't quite believe that I can run fast (for me - remember, words like "fast" and "slow" are relative). I don't want to psych myself out of running faster.

Why am I trying to race?

Two reasons.

1) I want to see what I can do; and
2) (the bigger reason) I'm running two Disney races in the fall and my qualification times expired. Corral A or bust, baby!

OK, your turn: give me your best racing tips!

Grace after Failure

2013-03-20T16:59:00.003-04:00

It's taken me three months to write this, and even now, I still cry when I look back on the first few weeks of C's life.

I have mentioned this previously, but C lost a lot of weight in the hospital - over 10% of her body mass. Up until that point, I was exhausted by delivery but thrilled and content. I thought everything was perfect. My baby was beautiful, I was learning to nurse, and I'd managed to have a successful vaginal delivery. It was everything I had been wanting for so long.

My feelings of contentedness disappeared the moment a nursery nurse woke me up at 5:30 a.m. with a screaming C and a bottle of formula in my face. I will never, ever, forget when she told me, "You're not making enough, mama. Your baby is starving and she needs formula." She insisted that I feed C from the bottle right away. I cried, but she stood in front of me, impassive and stoic. I was a sleep-deprived zombie. Instead of fighting her, or requesting a second opinion, I gave C the bottle. And the downward slide started.

First, I took a steep dive into a serious case of baby blues. Then, the anxiety set in. Two days on the job and I was killing my child. J and I took the formula samples home. I had never planned to use formula, but apparently, we were going to supplement. I did not even know what supplementing was before that day.
My Mom tried to assure me that my milk hadn't come in. Five days later, when I still didn't feel any engorgement, panic set in. As much as I did not want to supplement, it seemed there was no choice. I clearly was not making anything. Or was I?

I will always remember the feeling I had the first time I used my pump. On that fifth day, I left C for exactly one hour to go to Buy Buy Baby and purchase a pump. Never mind that I had to sit down in the middle of the store because standing for long periods of time hurt quite badly and made me nauseous. That pump was going to be my savior. It was going to help my milk come in. I plunked down a credit card, charged a few hundred dollars, and felt waves of relief. I could hardly wait to go home to use it. Answers! They were coming!

The set up was easy. In less than five minutes, I was ready to start pumping. 40 painful minutes later, I was overcome by an even larger sense of doomed failure. Hysterical, I staggered downstairs to show my Mom and J the fruits of my labor: 1/4 of an ounce - total. You could barely even see it in the bottle. I have never, not even in the deepest depths of infertility, felt like such a failure. I had a full on panic attack and began to hyperventilate. I then went back upstairs, flung myself on our bed, and cried.

Five minutes later, I tried to pump again. Nothing came out. Immediately after, C cried out with hunger and I sobbed once more. There was nothing for me to give her. My mom had to feed C a bottle. More crying ensued.

And so this cycle went on. I nursed, usually crying. Red-faced and angry, C cried until she got formula. I cried because she was obviously still hungry after nursing. Twenty minutes after each feeding, I pumped with the intention of upping my supply. One particularly awesome day, I got three ounces after pumping four times. I was anxious yet hopeful - maybe my woes were over! But the next day, I was back to an ounce over 24 hours. I was crushed.

And yet, I couldn't quite let go of the idea of nursing. Though I'd yet to experience any of the benefits, I was convinced that bottle feeding C was bad. I went to a new mother support group at my hospital and the woman next to me spent the meeting bemoaning her oversupply and her chunky baby. I looked down at my skinny little peanut. Thanks to the gram scale at the meeting, I knew C took in less than one ounce of breast milk over the course of a 40 minute nursing session. So I supplemented, fearful that she'd lose weight. And with each supplementation, I knew I was hurting my supply. So I pumped to compensate. My hope was that my body would eventually catch up. It never did.

I also saw a private lactation consultant. She noticed that C had a tied tongue, which can make nursing more challenging (though certainly not impossible). We again weighed her before and after feedings, and she actually took in almost 1.5 ounces. The problem was, that involved over an hour of nursing and going three hours between the appointment and her last feeding. C hardly ever went three hours. It was kind of a fluke. C needed approximately 16.5 ounces a day at that time (2.5 x body weight). That was 11 feedings a day - on the high side, but not unmanageable. Breastfeeding was so important to me; I could do this.

So I soldiered on. But the seeds of doubt planted in me at the hospital continued to grow. I would feed C and she'd be hungry 15 minutes later. I never felt engorged or leaked milk. I pumped next to nothing. And I was severely depressed as a result. So depressed that I got the diagnosis of postpartum depression and a prescription for anti-depressants.

It was my own Mom who convinced me to stop nursing. It was very clear that my anxiety and nursing were inextricably linked. I continued to nurse C at night (the only time I ever had any real supply), but she slept through the night so quickly that I dried up almost immediately. I felt a mixture of relief and sadness. I still do. I very, very much wanted breastfeeding to work. If I ever have a second child, it will be a high priority.

The reason I'm writing this now is because it's been on my mind for the last couple of weeks. I miss C so much during the day and I really wish we had a nursing bond. But we don't, and I have to live with that.

The other reason is because I accidentally came across one of the meanest articles I've ever read on the internet and it was all about "the excuses defensive formula feeders make" and several of the "excuses" were postpartum depression, bad supply, and lack of support. Now, I am not making any excuses. More importantly, I don't have to. However, if I'd read that article while I was still depressed, I might have jumped off a cliff. It was so hurtful and it brought out all my insecurities.

My most supportive mom friends all breastfeed or breastfed and they've never judged me. If you want the truth, I'm the one who's judgmental - I judge myself. I can look back and see the mistakes I've made with breastfeeding. I should have just nursed until my body caught up. I should have ditched the formula. I know I should have been more confident in what my body can do, but can you really blame me after my messy infertility struggles? I look back on those first few weeks, and all I remember is feeling panicked and like a total failure.

So starting today, I'm giving myself the grace to forgive myself. I had the best of intentions, I tried very hard, and I failed anyway. Maybe you've been in that boat, too. It may not be nursing: maybe it's trying to have a baby. Maybe it's your job, or a class, or a relationship you couldn't make work. My hope is you'll give yourself a little grace. We all deserve it.

Postpartum Progress: Three Months

2013-03-14T21:42:00.001-04:00

The last couple of weeks have been a crazy whirlwind of activity. True to her roots, my Orlando baby has been to both Universal and Disney in the last three weeks. Bringing a baby to a theme park isn't nearly as big a deal as one might think; it helps to have lots of family with you, though. Or friends who also have babies. Say hi to Sporky!

And margaritas. Can't forget the margaritas.

My brother recently came down from Atlanta for a long weekend. He held C during the Finding Nemo show at Animal Kingdom and she "watched" the entire thing. On the other end of the bench, I cried because I never realized poor Nemo lost his mom and all his siblings. Gah, why do Disney movies have to be so brutal? I am such a softie now.

C also went on her first trip on the People Mover. This is a perfect ride for a baby. I like to think she got as much out of it as I did watching her, but probably not.

My brother is pretty protective of C. He constantly worried if she was cold, uncomfortable, or needed a diaper change.

Her Daddy is no slacker in the protective department, either.

My sister-in-law and nephew were here this past weekend. J and I were in a wedding and they graciously babysat. In exchange, my nephew got a car...just kidding. Kind of. He did get J's old Camry. We bought an SUV to make room for all the ~~crap~~ stuff C needs.

By the way, my sister-in-law and I will be running Wine and Dine in November. Holla!

Speaking of wine....

J and I had our first date since the baby was born and we spent it at EPCOT getting tipsy...errr, enjoying the world showcase. You know what EPCOT stands for, right?

If you're thinking, holy moly, you two go to theme parks ALL THE TIME, you're only half right. It just so happened we've had a ton of visitors lately.

So, you may have gathered that C's been getting a lot of extra attention lately. And you'd be right. She is one loved baby, and with good reason. But I'm a little biased.

I went back to work last week and that's presented a whole new set of challenges. I cried pretty hard when I dropped her off at daycare for the first time. Adding in the additional bottle washings, laundry (seriously, the kid goes through three outfits a day), drop offs and pick ups has left me pretty worn out. It's 9:00 before I can relax. Plus, it is difficult to be away from her all day. Such is the plight of the working mother. I am really crunched for time, and I'm tired. Just being honest here.

However, I am doing OK in the work out and shape up department. I lost another two pounds this past month after plateauing for several weeks. I can almost feel my abs again! The abdominal separation is also starting to heal, praise baby Jesus.

I've got a 10k next weekend, which, believe it or not, is the longest distance I've raced in two years! Running is going as well as it can go with tons of visitors and a three month old. The treadmill has become my friend again because I am now running during my lunch break. I am also still doing dance class, although running is taking priority. Fingers crossed that my recent speed work pays off!

Physically, I now feel like I'm mostly back to normal. Is my body perfect? Definitely not. But I'm happy with where I am. I find the emphasis on postpartum weight loss is truly misplaced. Your body and your mind get rocked when you pop out a kid; it's pretty rude to expect someone to look perfect right after. A little graciousness goes a long way.

Who Deserves a Medal?

2013-02-27T10:39:00.001-05:00

I was supposed to run the Princess Half Marathon this past weekend. Then, on Friday, I woke up with a major case of the sniffles and a fever to boot. Game over. I'm pretty stubborn, but I'm not stupid. You can't run a half marathon with a fever. Although I am disappointed, the good news is that there's always another race and I will have more training time, too. Life goes on.

One of the reasons I picked the Princess as my first post-baby race is its reputation for being a "fun" race. I reasoned that if I didn't feel completely up to running the whole thing, then I'd have plenty of opportunities for great pictures with the characters lining the course. My plan was to treat it as a training run since I'm still building up on distance and to just enjoy the ride.

There has been some interesting debate in the Princess Half Marathon Facebook groups about this race. Someone posted on the page that they finished the race without training, sparking 95 (and counting) comments about training, race etiquette, and the finisher's medal. Ooh, the medal. That really got everyone up in arms.

Something that I did not realize was that runDisney gives a medal to everyone who starts the race, regardless of whether or not they complete the entire run. I don't know how much of the race you have to complete before you'll become entitled to the medal; the point is that one is awarded even if you don't finish the race. Proponents of awarding the medal say that it would be heartbreaking to get to mile 11, sprain your ankle, and then be physically unable to complete the race. One woman stated that all of her training meant she'd earned her medal, regardless of whether she finished the race. Critics of the practice pointed out that the medal is a finisher's medal. In their opinion, a bright line rule should apply: only finishers should get the medal.

The other big argument was about race etiquette. I ran Princess in 2010, back when I had no qualifying time. This meant I was in the last corral, which is usually reserved for walkers. In order to get away from people walking five-wide, in the middle of the street, I ran over sidewalks, on grass, and in between people. Not my finest moment, and a big reason why I'd never do a Disney race without being in one of the upper corrals. It's annoying and an easy way to get injured.

Several people made the argument that because Disney races have a reputation for being "fun," those who want to race for time should maybe "find another race" because the walkers/interval runners have the right to stop and walk wherever they feel like it. Alternatively, racers should make sure they are in the first corral. A lot of people seemed to suggest that race etiquette doesn't apply for this race.

Well, I see a couple of problems with this argument.

First, I use 10:1 intervals and my prior race times put me in the first corral (a time of under 2:15), so being in the first corral doesn't negate the possibility of having interval runners. Second, race etiquette is there to prevent injuries to fellow runners, not just as a convenience. The proper thing to do is move to the side when it's time for a walk so that you do not stop right in front of a fellow runner. It's just common sense. It's not hard, and it should apply in every race. To me, this has nothing to do with running for time; it has to do with not injuring yourself or the people around you.

It's also courtesy not to run more than two wide. Again, this is a safety issue as much as it is polite.

I'll leave it up to you:

Should non-finishers get a medal? If so, how far do they need to run to get it?

If a race has a reputation for being fun, do runners have the right to get upset if etiquette isn't followed?

Is Marissa Mayer Right?

2013-02-26T09:53:00.003-05:00

This week, Yahoo CEO Marissa Mayer announced that she was ending the company's work-from-home policy effective in June.

"Speed and quality are often sacrificed when we work from home,” reads the memo to employees from HR head Jackie Reses. “We need to be one Yahoo!, and that starts with physically being together.”
(source)

The new policy will affect long-distance employees the most, although the internal memorandum also notes, "F]or the rest of us who occasionally have to stay home for the cable guy, please use your best judgment in the spirit of collaboration."

Ms. Mayer is getting plenty of criticism for the move, with pundits citing higher fixed costs, more air and traffic pollution, and her own hypocrisy in having worked from home shortly after her son's birth. Internal sources say that Ms. Mayer was frustrated by her "slacking" employees who emptied the company parking lot by 5:00, which is "atypical of the company's Silicon Valley rivals." However, Ms. Mayer, who only took two weeks of maternity leave, has one supporter: Donald Trump, who Tweeted she was"right to expect Yahoo employees to come to the workplace vs. working at home."

This is my final week of maternity leave, although I've technically been working from home for the last five weeks. This was a requirement for me to take a full twelve weeks of paid maternity leave, a luxury extended by fewer and fewer companies, let alone law firms. While I am extraordinarily grateful to have this time, it's gone quite quickly. Twelve weeks may be an entire fiscal quarter, but it's hardly enough time to get the hang of motherhood. Taking only two weeks seems impossible: I literally did not sleep during the first two weeks of C's life and probably would have committed malpractice if I'd tried to work.

Before I was pregnant, it was quite rare that I worked out of my house. This normally occured only when I was sick enough to contaminate the whole office, or truly burnt out and in need of the luxury of dictating in my pajamas. Prior to pregnancy, I was an efficient telecommuter. Without the distractions of gossiping co-workers and a constantly ringing phone, I could do eight hours of work in about six, even when I was sick.

Now? Working from home is nearly impossible. C needs to eat every 2-4 hours. Feeding her takes about 30 minutes. After that, we have the diaper change, playtime, and getting her down for a nap - which may or may not happen. Add in two needy dogs, and my distraction levels are at an all-time high. I have friends who work out of their house and have children, and the kids go to daycare. I completely understand why.

So, I do see Ms. Mayer's point. Being home offers a host of distractions if you're not disciplined or need to take care of a child. I don't work in a particularly creative field, but it's nice to bounce case strategies off my co-workers. That's something done more efficiently face-to-face.

Yet quite a bit of my work is done better alone, without distractions. For example, if I have to write a trial memorandum or brief, I almost always prefer to do so at home where I can work without interruptions. Certainly, many of Yahoo's employees feel that way.

More than that - life happens. Even if you don't have children, sometimes working from home is a necessity. In my opinion, a rare day at home can be just the thing you need to recharge without expensing your company. And yes, there are going to be days where I'll get the phone call from daycare to pick up C because she's sick, and I am glad I have the ability to take her home without repercussion.

So, what do you think: is she right?

Meet Scrappy Doo

2013-02-21T09:43:00.000-05:00

I have this good friend from high school and college. Let's call her J.

J is the sweetest, kindest person you've ever met in your whole life. Considerate, polite, well-mannered. A true Southern lady.

Unless you tick her off. Then, you best back it up, 'cause Scrappy Doo is coming to town. You might even get a fry thrown at you. Or some ice. Just depends on the mood.

You guys remember Scrappy Doo, right? Scrappy Doo is Scooby Doo's nephew and he's always ready to fight. He's small, but mighty. Just like our J.

Well, I pulled a total Scrappy Doo the other day.

C has been on the waiting list for her daycare since April of last year. I go back to work in a week and a half and the daycare (which is at my church, I might add), was still giving me the run-around. Because of this, I put her on the list at another daycare. I visited that daycare on Tuesday and it was a nightmare come to life. Screaming, snot-covered children. Dirty. Loud. I burst into tears right on the scene at the mere thought of putting C in that daycare.

So, what did I do?

I drove straight to our church daycare and plopped myself in the director's office, demanding to know the status of C's daycare application. She told me that although I was correct that C was first on the waiting list, her spot had just been jumped by two other church members - one because they had children at the daycare and the other because she worked there. Those two kids were in: mine was not.

Hearing that, I pulled a total Scrappy Doo.

First, I got the angry cries going. That's right: I was so ticked I started crying. I quickly pulled myself together and told her that I wasn't leaving her office until I got a start date for C. The following things may have come out of my mouth:

"I will drive my child to The Villages every day to have her Grandma keep her until she has a spot in this daycare." (The Villages are an hour away)

"She's been on your waiting list since she was the size of a grape."

"What do I need to do to make sure she's here in a couple of weeks?" (Picture a greasy used car dealer here, because that's what I felt like).

"So-and-so's kid is in? He's younger than my daughter!"

What else did I do?

Put C on my lap to stare at the director
Tell the director, when she told me, "it's just God's timing," that I knew all about God's timing. I waited three years for my daughter. Yes, I threw in infertility for good measure.

The director was actually very apologetic and kind and in the end, she made a spot for C. She was accommodating; I was crazy - or, as my Alabama friend would call it, total Scrappy Doo.

Postpartum Progress: Two Months

2013-02-12T13:48:00.001-05:00

Little Miss C is officially two months old today!

Here are her stats, straight from her pediatrician visit yesterday:

Weight: 10 pounds, 13.5 ounces
Height: 23 inches
Head circumference: 15.5 inches

This puts her in the 50th percentile for weight and head circumference and 75 percentile for height. Her Dad is 6'2, so I'm thinking that height came from his side of the family. She'll probably be taller than me before she enters kindergarten.

At two months old, C is finally smiling for reasons other than gas. My favorite part of the day is peering over her crib in the morning and seeing C smiling up at me. She coos constantly and I think she may be starting to laugh a little bit - mostly at my expense. Apparently my "babyfied" versions of rap songs are hilarious. Hilariously wrong, that is.

At two months old, C's schedule looks something like this:

Sometime between 6:30-6:45 - Wakes up. Eats around 4 ounces. Change diaper and clothes.

7:15 - Sit in bouncy seat while I get ready for the day (shower, etc). Then downstairs for playtime, which involves her activity mat, tummy time and me talking and singing to her. She doesn't really nap in the "early" morning, so eating breakfast and answering work emails is a bit of a challenge (I am working from home right now).

9:30-10:00 - Eat another 4 ounces. We use Dr. Brown's bottles, by the way.

10:30-12:00 - Nap in her swing. Homegirl loves her swing and won't nap in her crib yet. We are working on that. I try to get some work done.

12:30 ish - Another 4 ounce bottle. I put her in the swing when she's done and then eat my lunch.

1:00 - 2:00 - Nap. I do work, fold laundry, etc.

Picture only slightly posed. Yes, that's my McT gym shirt in the background. It's from 1995.

3:00 - Bottle, playtime, then nap. More feeble attempts to work and keep house organized.

Don't take my puppy away - ever

5:30 - 6:00 - J comes home. If it's my night to work out, I change and head to Dance Trance for either the 6:00 or 7:00 class, or I go for a run. J handles the 6:00 bottle, so that means I put her to bed. Whomever is home with her plays with her for awhile.

If it's his night to work out, I give her the 6:00 bottle, but he puts her to bed.

Sometime between 7:00 - 8:00, we eat dinner. C is either sleeping or fussy.

8:00 - Bath time. I always give C her bath. She actually loves getting a bath so it's kind of the highlight of my day.

8:15-8:30 - Bedtime and the last bottle of the day.

On Friday nights, J is responsible for putting her to bed and watching the monitor. This is because I get up early on Saturday for my group runs. Otherwise, I have monitor duty.

Check out that form

My Postpartum Progress

I feel more and more normal every day, but there's still plenty of occasions when I remember that it was only two months ago that I was pregnant. For example: jumping around in dance class. Yep, the bladder isn't completely over pushing out a 6.5 pound baby.

I haven't weighed myself since my six week appointment, but I suspect that there has not been a change in my weight.

Here I am 4 weeks postpartum:

And here I am at 8 weeks. I don't see any difference. I do realize my body is still adapting and changing to no longer being pregnant. The good news is that I'm totally out of my maternity clothing, so - yay for that!

But anyway...

Running is going really well.

This was my run last weekend, which was actually pretty hilly. Yes, we do have hills in Central Florida, although I did have to drive all the way to Apopka to run them. I'm really happy with my running progress postpartum. Everything has gone so much better than I've anticipated and while I know a 9:30 pace is hardly what a competitive runner would consider to be fast, it's great for me.

You may be wondering if I'm planning to run a race anytime soon (well, one longer than a 5k). Yep, I am. When I get an idea to do something, I'm pretty stubborn, and I had always planned to run a half marathon this Spring. The cavaet is that I am not going to actually "race" it. It will be more like a victory lap, as in, "Yeah, I gave birth to my perfect little girl after all that infertility business AND I'm finally back running. Thank you God." I dream of running a sub-two half marathon, but I can wait on that until the fall. I think part of the reason I've been able to continue to build mileage is because I've avoided speed work. Well, once I get more comfortable doing double digit runs, it's ON.

Finally, I would be remiss if I did not mention two things that have really helped me get back into running. OK, three.

First: not breastfeeding. This is advantageous because she easily takes a bottle, so J can feed her if she needs to eat while I'm running. Secondly, I'm not having to worry about engorgement. Not that I ever really experienced that, but I hear it's pretty terrible. I don't have to time my runs like a breastfeeding runner. Not that I wouldn't have been happy to do that if breastfeeding had worked out.

Second: J. J and I schedule all of our workouts every single week, so I know that I'm going to get my run in no matter what. That goes for him, too. J needs his tennis time.

Third: C sleeps really well, so I am not exhausted. Listen, a kid who sleeps is a game-changer. I most certainly was not functioning when she only slept 4 broken hours a night. I know that there are people who can excel on little to no sleep, but I am not one of them. I'm keeping my fingers cross that this continues, especially since full-time work is looming.

Lady Track Shack Race Recap

2013-02-04T11:57:00.000-05:00

I ran the Lady Track Shack Saturday morning as part of an eight mile run. It's a women's only race that starts in Mead Gardens and goes through Winter Park. . .a.k.a. the land of brick roads and really big houses.

Yes, I am pathetically short.

Erin and Brittany, both of whom are in my training group, ran the eight miles with me. Erin just ran Disney so we spent a good amount of time talking about the race as well as her recent engagement. We also gossiped about a rude runner who goes around telling people that they are slow. To their face. Who does that?? A few words of advice: Keep. Your. Opinions. To. Yourself.

We started at Glenridge Middle School, a water stop on the Marathonfest loop, and ran 2.5 miles to the start of the race. I was barely awake at this point. Someone decided to party at 4:00 Thursday night and I didn't sleep well on Friday either, so I had two really lousy nights of sleep as opposed to the semi-lousy sleep I normally get. Lately, C's been a good sleeper so the backwards step was not exactly welcome.

Thankfully, I had really good company on the run. Thanks, ladies!

As usual, the race was crowded. We lined up between the 8 and 9 minute markers and could barely run for almost the entire first mile. I have to admit I was pretty annoyed to see there were lots of walkers at the start of the race. That's totally fine to do, but please line up where you are supposed to, not with people who are trying to run. We didn't even try to dodge the walkers for the first mile. This was part of a training run, after all.

After about a mile and a half we started to get some room to run. Our splits were ridiculous: something like 10:15, 9:20, then 8:40. I finished in 29:13, a time I was OK with because I wasn't done running for the day.

Erin, Brittany and I milled around and checked out some of the vendor booths. There were the usual post-race Strawberries and bananas. It's strawberry season in Florida. Nature's candy, I tell ya.

Cabot cheese was on hand giving out sharp cheddar samples on top of a kind bar. We all tried one.

Rookie mistake. No sooner was that cheese in my mouth that I regretted it. Did I mention I also sampled the strawberries and a smoothie on top of the cheese? Ugh. Just no. We were all groaning for the rest of the run back. The last 2.5 were pretty painful thanks to our protesting tummies, but we got it done. Eight mile run seven weeks after giving birth? Not going to lie - I'm pretty proud of myself. I really didn't think I was capable of that.

I spent Sunday staring at this, thanks to J. My Christmas present was a massage and facial at the uber-fancy Ritz-Carlton spa.

I really didn't know what to do with myself. I had not been alone for more than an hour since C was born. Although I missed her terribly, it was kind of nice to have some time to just relax and not worry about when the next feeding and diaper change will take place.

P.S. - the facial lady asked me what my "skin care routine" consisted of. Does soap and water count? Do you have a routine?

P.P.S. - these yogurt pretzels. OMG. I ate about 4 cups of them and didn't care how tacky it looked to keep going back for more.

P.P.P.S. - Gone Girl - what the heck was with that ending?

Five for Friday

2013-02-01T10:38:00.001-05:00

Hello and Happy Friday!

Big news here: I decided to participate in Katy's 28 Day Blog Challenge because, let's face it, this blog could use some work. The idea is to take steps - big or small - to improve your blog. I'm all for taking baby steps, but I'm still mulling over some bigger changes like self-hosting. For some reason, I've been afraid to pull that trigger, even though I am frustrated by the limits of Blogger. Go figure.

So today is step 1. I won't be posting all of my improvements, but this is one for all of you so I thought it warranted some attention:

I ditched Disqus. I've heard lots of people complain about how hard it is to comment using it, so I switched over to Intense Debate. Let me know what you think (preferably by leaving a comment, of course)!

Today I wanted to highlight five blogs that I regularly read and that I think you should, too.

1. Running for Bling

Elizabeth and I just happened to have gone to high school together, but I would read her even without the personal connection. She's a passionate runner who's serious about collecting race bling - so far, she's up to 27 half marathons and is currently gunning for a BQ. However, my favorite part of reading her? She's honest and isn't afraid to call B.S. when she sees it. It's nice to read someone willing to honestly and fairly critique a race. Plus, she's just straight up brave, having survived (and then thrived) a nasty assault.

2. Dream Big Runner

I started reading Christine's blog when we both participated in a race challenge called "Run for the Bling of It" back in 2011. The concept of that blog was awesome - every week, the blog posted race reports from various bloggers. It was how I started reading a lot of running blogs. Hmm, maybe that's something I can bring back?

Anyway, Christine is one of those bloggers that I feel like I'd be friends with if we met in real life. She's recently engaged and just ran a half marathon with her fiancé in Charleston. Like Elizabeth, she has a goal to run all 50 states and has done 11 so far. She's always happy and reading her makes me pumped to go for a run.

3. RoseRunner

Don't bother reading her if you don't have a sense of humor. She's a ridiculously fast runner who's not afraid to give her opinion on everything from the blogging world to the Bachelor. In fact, she says a lot of the things that the rest of us just think. This makes some of her posts "controversial," but it's one of the few blogs where intelligent debate is encourage and fostered. I don't always agree with her, but I love her candidness. I also appreciate the fact that isn't a running snob, even though she's got the chops to be one.

Two non-running blogs:

4.David Lebovitz

A former pastry chef turned cookbook author now living in Paris, David specializes in making his readers drool on their keyboard while reading his recipes and restaurant reviews. He primarily writes about sweets. I own two of his cookbooks (including one that's just about ice cream) and all of my best desserts come out of them. He has a dry sense of humor and I love reading his observations about Parisian culture.

5. The Amateur Gourmet

Adam is a law student turned cookbook author/restaurant reviewer/blogger. Do not read him if you haven't eaten lunch. One of my favorite posts is his course-by-course description of his meal at El Bulli, a now-closed restaurant that was once lauded as the "greatest restaurant in the world." He's a great writer that makes you want to eat better food.

Tell me some of your favorite blogs in the comments (or leave your own blog handle). I'm on the lookout for new ones to add to my reader.

5k + 5 Miles + 5 Pounds

2013-01-31T09:18:00.002-05:00

So, last Saturday's six miles went great. After listening to all your feedback, I decided to go ahead and run with my old group. As it turns out, the pace was perfect for me and moving back a group would have been a mistake. I got a postpartum PDR and ended the run feeling like I could have done a lot more - always a good sign on a "long run."

2011 - and no, we didn't run a 6 minute mile

This weekend's plan is for eight miles. Jackie reminded me that the Lady Track Shack 5k is also on Saturday. I can't miss the opportunity for yet another tech tee, so my friend Brittany and I are sandwiching it into our training run. Andrea and Heather are also running. This will be the third year I've run the race. Last year was a particularly terrible race for me. I think my body was exhausted from all the medications I was taking at the time trying to get pregnant. 2011 went much better. I included the race in a 14 mile training run and still had a decent time.

This year? Well, we shall see. The good news is that I'll be warmed up. The bad news is knowing I have to keep running when it's over. Eight miles still seems like a long distance to me.

So remember how I mentioned that my shoe size had gone up after being pregnant?

Well, as it turns out, not really.

I noticed during last Saturday's run that my feet felt like they were sliding around in the shoes. I also felt some left knee discomfort that was new, so I took the shoes back to Track Shack. Turns out I was in the wrong size shoe. I switched them out for Brooks in a smaller size. They are working out much better already.

What's not working out right now is trying to drop the last five pounds of "baby weight" from trying to get pregnant. No, I didn't need to gain weight to get pregnant like many other bloggers. I gained weight from all the medicines I took and apparently it's decided to hang on to me for the long haul. News flash to my fat cells: I live in Florida. I do not need extra padding for the winter.

Whatever, Mommy.

Now, I hesitate to even post this because quite frankly, I feel like it can be really annoying to hear people whining about weight loss, especially when it's five lousy pounds. However, if I were someone who wanted to read about postpartum weight loss, I would be interested to know that someone else was struggling. So, I write it here.

I'm already bored

After losing 20 pounds in a week following C's birth, the dang scale hasn't moved south in a month. In fact, it actually got sassy with me and moved up a notch yesterday. I blame the following factors:

Stopping breastfeeding
Starting birth control
Still eating like I'm pregnant/breastfeeding.

I guess one of those factors is my fault. Crud.

This is not the part of the post where I unveil that "so and so company sent me some samples of XYZ weight loss pill for my review." I do not believe in any of that crap. Please also spare me any weird diets that require eliminating entire food groups, supplements that will make me smell like day old fish, or anything with the words "fast" or "cleanse" in it. Starvation doesn't sound all that fun, particularly after nine months of a foodie free for all.

I believe in hard work and putting the fork down when appropriate. I do know how to eat well; I'm just not doing it enough. More veggies, less cupcakes. That kind of thing. I'll let you know how it goes.

Postpartum Progress: 6 Weeks

2013-01-25T13:02:00.001-05:00

Hi ho, hi ho, it's back to the OB I go (err..went) for my six week appointment. The six week appointment is normally when you get cleared for all physical activities. . . some of which I would rather not think about doing for a long, long time.

At the top of my list of questions was what to do about my abdominal muscles - the ones I have left, anyway. During pregnancy, I developed abdominal separation, or diastatsis recti. This means that the abdominal muscles closest to the center of my body separated in order to make room for my expanding belly. The pregnancy books I read (Mayo Clinic Guide to Pregnancy, for one) cautioned against doing abdominal work like crunches until four to six weeks postpartum. The reason you want to wait is because doing crunches too quickly after giving birth can actually make the separation worse.

Then you're stuck with a mom gut. Possibly permanently.

So yeah, I waited.

After a physical examination, my doctor gave me the green light to start abdominal and core work. I'm thinking I may start by trying some exercises similar to this:

I've also read that planking is OK as well. Michelle posted a great tutorial outlining different plank variations. I hate doing them, but it's a necessary evil if I want to be 5'10 and look like Cindy Crawford.

Name that movie.

Running

I'm still building my base mileage and got up to 12 miles last week, including the 5k last Saturday. Tomorrow is my first run back with my group and the plan is for six miles. My intention is to start increasing my mileage up from there. I've heard that it's not a good idea to build mileage and increase speed at the same time, so I'm going to do my "speed work" very conservatively. The most important thing right now is time on my feet.

Speaking of feet: apparently pregnancy made mine Sasquatch-sized:

I got fitted for new shoes at Track Shack and went up an entire shoe size. Bummer. Guess I need all new shoes!

Mind

I gotta be honest here: I'm still beating myself up over my inability to nurse. You have no idea how badly I wanted it to work. The failed attempt at nursing took a huge psychological toll on me, big enough that my doctor had diagnosed me with postpartum depression. The depression went away when I acknowledged that nursing was not going to work. Yet the guilt remains.

It was bad enough that I stopped going to the mother-daughter teas at Winnie Palmer. They're run by the hospital's lactation consultants and I would have been the only one in there bottle feeding. A couple of the girls in the class emailed me to ask where I've been and I politely told them I wasn't coming back. I didn't want the looks or the judgment. Guess C is out a couple of play dates.

It's hard not to feel judged for resorting to formula. Let's face it: while no one gives you a medal for feeding your child, there's plenty of praise directed towards breastfeeding moms. I'm in no way saying that praise isn't well-deserved; breast-feeding is a major commitment and obviously was my first choice. I seriously respect moms who are able to pull it off, especially when they have trouble doing it and keep on pushing.

But can us formula feeding moms get a little love, too? I still feel like people are going to call me selfish or assume that I'm lazy. I am a lot of things, but I don't think either of those words automatically describe me or the millions of mothers who are either forced or choose to use formula.

Also, my daughter is not going to be stupid because she got formula. Thank you to the many, many people (including family members - which is particularly hurtful) who have told me this. I suppose genes count for nothing. And good job insulting the millions of adopted children (my brother included) whose mothers obviously did not nurse them.

While I'm (mostly) happy with my choice, I'm not pleased that I am constantly need to justify it to myself and to others.

Baby

Still refusing to take long naps, but the reward is longer stretches of sleep at night. Since I started working from home, this is a bit of a challenge. I can't exactly dictate and hold a baby at the same time. I'd love an extra set of hands.

C moved into her crib this week and automatically started sleeping another hour a night. We are doing some sleep training (call the police!) and its seems to be working out so far. Basically, she has a nighttime routine and I'm militant about enforcing it.

And C just let me know it's time to eat. Hasta la vista for now.

A Little Advice, Please

2013-01-21T16:26:00.001-05:00

I need some honest advice.

After my 5k on Saturday, I ran 5 miles on Sunday. 5 miles, no stopping, a little under a 10:00/mile pace. Although I wasn't pushing myself too much, I'll admit that my legs were a little sore the first mile. My body probably isn't ready for back-to-back runs and so I won't be doing that again for awhile. I don't want to get injured.

For the last three weeks, I've run a "long run" of 4 miles on the weekends. The runs have been in the 9:00-10:00 range (going around 9:30 most of the time) and I would say they've all been pretty comfortable, pace wise.

The bump to five was necessary because...drumroll please...

I'm starting back with my running group on Saturday.

Or am I?

The run for Saturday is six miles. I know I can do the mileage. It's the pace I'm concerned about. The group is going for 9:15 - 10:15 miles, which sounds OK, except for three things:

That pace includes walk breaks, so it's actually a faster running pace
For short runs (i.e., under 10 miles), the pace is going to be closer to 9:15. I honestly don't think I can run that fast for six miles yet.
The mileage will start increasing pretty quickly, and will almost definitely kick my butt if I don't slow down.

My inclination is to drop back a pace group until my endurance and speed have improved. I don't want to get left behind. I really want to run with my group because I miss the girls, but I am doubting myself. A lot.

I almost positive I've made my decision, but I'd love to hear your input: dropping back is smart, isn't it?

Dick Batchelor Run 5k Recap

2013-01-20T11:40:00.001-05:00

This is the third time I've run this race. The first was several years ago, and the second was in 2011 (recap here), right after I'd run the Disney Marathon. I'm always surprised by how small the turnout for the race is considering that it goes through both Universal Studios and Islands of Adventure, where the Wizarding World of Harry Potter is located.

Universal's parking decks are so big they can practically be seen from space, so I took a picture of my parking spot before walking to the race start.

Good thing, too, seeing as how I promptly forgot where I parked as soon as I left the deck. I haven't quite gotten rid of the pregnancy brain.

Since it was pretty obvious that no one was paying attention to the pace markers, I lined up somewhere between the 8 and 9 minute mile marker and passed the time chatting with a guy who'd just finished the Goofy challenge. He wanted to finish in under 25:00 - hope he did it! He asked me if I had a goal, and I told him that being out there was kind of a victory in itself, seeing as how I had C only 5.5 weeks ago.

Then I realized that was a big fat lie. Of course I had a time goal - I'm too type A not to. I wanted to try and finish this puppy in 30 minutes or less, but not kill myself doing it. I would really prefer not to get injured so soon into running again.

For this first mile, I got passed by runner after runner. Kids wearing Keds, grandmas with fanny packs, juggling clowns in clown shoes - everyone passed me. The sun wasn't quite up as we ran through City Walk.

I repeatedly told myself to go easy the first mile and not get caught up in being passed by what felt the entire population of the race. We hit mile 1 entering Jurassic Park and I was pretty surprised to see the clock read 8:56. Apparently there are some fast Grandmas in Orlando.

It wasn't much longer until we hit Harry Potter's homeland.

I didn't look at my watch and just kept running. It still felt like all I was doing was getting passed, but when mile marker 2 came up, it was right at about the 18:00 mark.

The last mile of the race was through Universal Studios and yep, people were still passing me. The third mile marker came up and I saw it said 27:00 something, so I sprinted, hoping to finish under 28:00. That didn't quite happen, but I did finish in 28:11, a 9:05 pace.

The finish line was right next to Hard Rock and there were plenty of volunteers handing out oranges, bananas and water.

I grabbed my orange slices and hit the road almost immediately thereafter. There was someone at home waiting for me.

I'm happy with my running progress so far, although I'm itching to start running longer distances. We'll see how that goes in the coming weeks...