Running Circles Around Van Gogh

New York

2012-04-27T13:49:00.000-06:00

A week ago I found this amazing opportunity on Facebook. (This is what digital networking sites are all about, right?) New York is looking for artists. Check this out:

What did you think? I am so excited about this! What an opportunity; my art displayed on a billboard sized screen in Time Square!!! (Not to mention the $10,000 to the grand prize winner! Oh, how nice that would be...) World, here we come!

I have been loosing sleep trying to find ways to get people to "collect me" on this website. I thought about my friend, who gave things away for free, and decided to run a contest: I will give away another of my beautiful 20x30 ThinWraps (with the options meticulously placed in the video above) to the person who gets the most people to "collect me" by re-posting it on their Facebook page! (Please get your friends to confirm they did it on your post so I can keep track!) The website:

Melonie Packer: Click "Collect Me" to help me win $10,000 and a show in the most immense exhibition of art in New York City : Art Takes Times Square. (You'll need to sign in with FB. You'll know you did it right when you see your name with my art above it!)

On a side note: I really feel grateful to live in such a world where all of this is possible! I am humbled at the help I have received so far and for the opportunity provided. I really want to do philanthropy... (I'm sure many others would if they could as well!) This is the time and season where it is more possible than ever to have a huge impact on a person, people or society. I am thankful for our forefathers who laid the groundwork for this to happen. This is for them!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Zanden's Plea for $2,000,000

2012-04-06T14:39:00.000-06:00

Okay, in order to "get" this next video, you have to be familiar with Craig Rowin on YouTube. This is Zanden's attempt to help our cause. He saw Rowin and said, "Maybe we can ask for $2,000,000!" Hey, it worked for Craig!

Wasn't he great?! (Did you watch Rowin first???? }:I)

We have many small thinkers in our circle of friends and family (by no fault of their own) who are crytical of our ambitions. A friend once told me that there are ducks and there are eagles... I am definitely an eagle and I am not afraid to shoot for the stars!

Our family has a goal, for those of you who don't know, to bring David home and become philanthropists. We are passionate about being able to help people in a BIG way someday. So you ducks can keep being cynical. Maybe we'll make it, maybe we wont but here's for courage!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

The Complete Book on Video!

2012-04-06T14:11:00.000-06:00

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Joy Found in the Simple Things

2012-01-30T19:38:00.001-07:00

This is a lovely tribute to my new book, a sneak peek!
Joy Found in the Simple Things Enjoy!

It took only minutes to out this together... I love technology!
Try our slideshow maker at Animoto.

Seasoned

2012-01-18T12:01:00.000-07:00

I remember the first thrill I got from the seedling of a thought, "Maybe I can do this; maybe I can be an artist!"

Van Gogh said that he would dream at night about painting, then get up and paint his dream. I dreamed about
painting to. I longed to to be an illustrator, sculptor or painter. The problem lied with when I got up, I could not paint my dream!

I spent many years in frustration. Yes, I had turned a waterfall purple and that was cool... but was it real art? Could I do it again?

"Seasoned" was my first piece of art that I considered to have real potential. It was late winter of 2009, the kids had gone to bed and, David, to play basketball with the ward. I had nothing to do!

For several years (about 4) I had been taking pictures of ordinary yet, to me, beautiful things. I sat down at the computer and began to browse the images... there was something there, I knew it! I stopped on a photo of a simple fall leaf on the sparkling white snow. I loved the contrast of the orange on the brilliant white. I loved the delicate, yet intricate, features of that fallen leaf. It was more than what it seamed. It had lived it's life, it was "seasoned" and it had a story to tell!

I remembered the waterfall and contemplated... "I wonder" 4 hours whizzed by; David came home, stinky and wet. I will never forget how he stopped in his tracks and admired that piece of art I had just made in awe! Only hours before, he had walked by the same leaf without a second thought. This is the effect I wanted to have on people. This was art!

View "Seasoned"at:
http://www.meloniepacker.com/Photography/My-Gallery/11642051_hxp3F#!i=790035976&k=FuzYz

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

We've Gone Digital!

2012-01-18T11:30:00.007-07:00

...Well I suppose, since it is digital art I'm doing, you probably think I've gone bananas!

"Oh no", you say, "It has come; the moment we've all been afraid of! After all, haven't many great artists gone mad? Picasso, Francisco Goya, Mark Ruthko and, our favorite, Vincent Van Gogh?"

What I mean is that my new book, Joy Found in the Simple Things, has been made available for download on the Kindle!
http://www.amazon.com/Joy-Found-Simple-Things-ebook/dp/B006YG7UYI/ref=sr_1_1?s=digital-text&ie=UTF8&qid=1326910788&sr=1-1

The process was a long one for us. We had to make and remake... Because the file is mostly pictures, we ran into several problems and had to reformat, and then rebuild, the entire book. Actually, I'm surprised we haven't gone bananas!

The key for me has been David. Many times it is nice to have someone to lean on. If you don't want to end up like Van Gogh and his fellows, you'd better hope you're not alone in this world!

I feel that there is nothing more truly artistic than to love people.

Vincent Van Gogh

Read more:http://www.brainyquote.com/quotes/authors/v/vincent_van_gogh.html#ixzz1jpt5dvcj

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Happy Day

2011-12-05T17:44:00.000-07:00

After a long wait, and many excruciating hours of work, I got to open up my first package of published copies of Joy Found in the Simple Things! That is a great feeling!

A little history: The idea for this book came in December of 2008. I worked as diligently as I could, with 3 kids, up until May of this year; taking pictures in places ranging from Denver to San Diego and the Yucatan Peninsula in Mexico. Weeding through thousands of photos, I worked on the best of them creating 45 pieces of art that would make up the soul of the book. In May I began compiling (and recompiling) the book, writing the heart, designing the cover... In July we submitted to a publisher and in October we became our own!

It turned out to be a beautiful book, thanks to all those who helped, and I have been so excited to share it! We gave away 5 copies the first day we got it and sold 6. I'd say that's a pretty good start! I feel relieved to have it done, almost the way you feel after a long labor; but when you create something beautiful to add to this world you can't help but feel joy!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Novemberfest

2011-12-05T16:52:00.000-07:00

Hello friends!I had the greatest experience at Novemberfest and I think it might encourage all of you small business owners to break out of your comfort zones!

As you are well aware, in the past I have had a difficult time keeping my confidence up at a show. This time my wonderful husband decided he would man the booth for me so that I wouldn't feel that fear again. (Thereby, keeping sells up; those of you who have read/seen "The Secret" know what I mean!) However, I was in charge the last hour of the last day so David could go home and eat.

I had made a conscious decision, this time, to accept whatever God wanted to give me whether nothing or an abundance of blessings! Whatever the result, I wasn't going to let a number affect my self-worth. When I got to the show, I found that we had only made 3 sells again falling short of breaking even. I started to feel that fear and reminded myself of my commitment.

A fellow crafts-man had some ideas for my next show. "Maybe you could hold a drawing" she suggested, "and give away a piece of art." That peaked my interest because I felt God had been leading me in a certain direction; teaching me the law of abundance which is that "whatsoever you give shall be multiplied unto you".

I had less then an hour and I knew I had to do something big! It was hard to take that leap of faith at first; I mean, logically, the idea would cause us to take more of a loss! When I gathered up my courage I got to work and I ended up giving away 18 pieces of art (totaling $190 our cost) but I have never felt more excited about what I do! I realized that giving it away felt just as good (if not better) than selling it and I was happy!

Another thing I realized is that people were really thrilled to get my art. They really enjoyed it! I just had to get through my own blocks and, though it sounded completely insane, I did just that and I loved every minute of it!

I wonder if Van Gogh would have known the law of abundance if he wouldn't have killed himself. How much joy could he have had standing on a street corner holing a contest of some sort and giving away his finest pieces! Maybe he would have lived a full life and tasted of his immortalizing fame himself...

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Fairytale

2011-11-23T15:52:00.001-07:00

I started taking seriously taking photos in 2005. I had just gotten married to my wonderful husband who felt terribly guilty for dunking my point-and-shoot into the Starvation Reservoir and bought me my 6 mega-pixel Cannon Rebel. I loved that thing! Who ever thought taking pictures could be so fun?

I worked as a nanny and those three little angles became my first guinea pigs and teachers. I loved our walks and the beauty we saw in everything. (Children are so good at that!) I took pictures of flowers, lamp posts and Popsicles! The kids loved it... my husband was glad the new camera was digital!

The day I turned my first waterfall purple was a magical day for me. Who knew you could change a picture? A realm of possibilities just opened up! I don't remember the original reason we got Photo shop, but it has been my best friend ever since!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)Click here to see "Fairytale Waterfall"

Remember Mary Kay?

2011-11-16T12:49:00.005-07:00

Remember that stint you had with Mary Kay several years ago? Well, those 9-or-so months were not a total waste of time! Here's why:

You've learned that you can make those scary phone calls!
You've learned that, when all else fails and you're feeling defeated, your best friends will buy a lip gloss from you!
You can depend on yourself to reach the goals you set your mind to but you can't depend on everyone else to earn your "red jacket". (Lets face it; "red jackets" come and go and are as fickle as a U of U fan...) You've learned to focus only on those goals you can control.
You've learned that you are not passionate about make-up and you have to find your own reason for succeeding! And...
You've learned that if you don't ask for the sale you're not going to get it!

I had this really great team leader when I worked with Mary Kay company. She was very compassionate and giving and would squeeze out twice as much product in those little trays than any guest needed! I remember thinking, as a naive little first-time business owner,"How will she ever come out on top with her business if she keeps giving it away for free?!".

I've learned quiet a lot since then. No matter how silly it seems logistically; the world still runs on energy and emotion. The law becomes resurrected that "whatever you give you will receive back ten-fold". Coming from a family where if you didn't eat quick you didn't eat at all, it was rather difficult for me to digest this concept but I have evolved into a better human being and I have more faith that my needs will be met!

I realized that, out of fear of copyright infringement, I have held back my "intellectual property", as my husband calls it, (Is that funny to anyone else? It's such a left-brained way of describing a right-brained product!) and have probably slowed down it's success! An author I admire, James Redfield, gave out thousand(s) of copies of his book for free before he made it on the New York Times Best Sellers list!

Another artist I admire for his success suggested to "exhaust every free avenue before you go into debt for a business". We have decided to make a Youtube video and share some pictures with you on this blog. The book will be published soon and we will give away as many books as we can!

Here's to life!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

The Package Has Arrived...

2011-09-19T16:41:00.001-06:00

I was surprised to find a package on our front porch earlier this week. Not because it was early; because it was late! I'd begun to think of all the possibilities involving it's untimely arrival. David did something more productive and worked hard on a "game plan" for our business if the book wasn't accepted.

David has suddenly become way more motivated than me. It is great to have a husband who believes in you so much he's willing to quit his job and run our business out of a motor home! Needless to say, that idea will really be "put through the wringer"!

The publishing company was kind enough to reject the photo book... and we are currently in the process of starting up our own publishing company!

"I put my heart and my soul into my work, and have lost my mind in the process."
-Vincent Van Gogh

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Down to the Nitty-Gritty

2011-07-21T15:14:00.000-06:00

Summer is here and is being thoroughly enjoyed by my little family and me. I find it difficult to be indoors when so much is going on outside. However, I have managed to edit and finish my photo book! (Actually, it was quite exciting in spite of the sun-shiny weather that was beckoning me...) Also, I've tackled mounds of tedious research (not so fun).

We self-published one book through an Amazon company online for a small fee (about $14) so that we could share the copy with our friends and family then discuss it. I was thrilled to receive the published book with my name boldly written on the front cover! We passed it around and everyone liked it. Then... you guessed it, I got those dreaded butterflies again. The good news is that the book could be hid in a drawer to give me some space whenever I felt nauseated. (I am so grateful I'm not doing the fair thing anymore!)

A few weeks ago, I decided to print out a manuscript and send it in to a publisher. (The manuscript cost $95... so you see why we printed the book!) Rude awakening: most publishers wont even look at your manuscript without an agent! What's an agent? Oh, he's the profit-sucking middleman that jumps in between you and your potential publisher and banks off of your life's work. It seems you wont win out there without him... Brilliant really! I ended up finding one publisher that suggests an agent but promises to look at it without one!

David is reading this book for us about true self-publishing; as in starting your own publishing company then hiring out for the printing. Interesting idea... the rough part would then be all of the extra work you'd have to put into marketing. We really don't have any capitol left to get the ball rolling. So, meanwhile, we wait. Maybe we'll get lucky; maybe not... Anyhow, I got to see my name in print!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

wi(ə)rd

2011-06-06T12:50:00.005-06:00

Affirmation of the day:

"I am completely aware that there are people that are not going to like me... and that's okay!"

My photo book is finished! I have never had anything flow out of me so freely! It was as if the pages were already written and saved in an archive inside of me and all I had to do was open the file. I know that God is responsible for this and I thank Him profusely!

We are now editing and finding critics who will provide us with real feedback (no cushioning the tough stuff). I'm currently facing that familiar fear that has come to greet me on the eve of every art show. I know my stuff is weird... I am completely aware that there are people that are not going to like me; I will be misunderstood... and that should be okay!

I was pleased to find that if you Google "weird" definitions; this is what comes up:

weird/wi(ə)rd/
Adjective: Suggesting something supernatural; uncanny.
Noun: A person's destiny.

I like that! "Weird" is a person's destiny! So why do I fear being different? Would art really be art if it looked like everything else? Would I really be a creator if I never strayed from the mold? And if everyone liked the same things, would this world be very colorful?

"Do not quench your inspiration and your imagination; do not become the slave of your model."
Vincent Van Gogh

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

I Have Been "Hearted"...

2011-04-25T15:09:00.003-06:00

I guess people still "dig" my art at $3,000+. My confidence has officially been raised!

Thanks to all my Etsy friends, I have come to realize that raising my prices won't change a thing (for the worse, anyway) like I had previously feared... (and also, that fear is a liar!)

I am so excited about this photo book idea! I think it is going to be great. I have spent several days on it now and I am having this really neat "deja-vu" like experience as it practically unfolds as if from a memory.

I remembered that 3 years ago, I had this idea for a book pop into my head while I was driving back to our temporary home from school. I wasn't sure what this book idea was about because I was in school and most of my efforts were divided in an engaging battle between finishing school and mothering our 2 children.

However, my husband had lost his job and we were in financial stress so I prayed a lot about what I could do to help. I must have been pondering about money then because I think it that God responded with an answer. This idea for a book with many pictures in it entrapped my mind and all I knew was that it was to be about enjoying the simple things in life.

A year or so later, I was drawn to a book in the store that was full of pictures and uplifting messages. I had another "Celestine Prophecy" experience and I knew that I needed to create a book like that. Unfortunately, someone must have pushed the "play" button on my internal answering machine and this bothersome message replayed in my head:

"I know you want to be an artist but you need a real job... something important!"

As a result, I immediately discounted any serious thought about becoming an artist... In that case, what was this book idea about? That belief put me behind a couple of years, I think...

Finally, as I begin work on this photo book, I've realized this is it! All my mentors told me to get out of Utah if I want to be a serious artist... I think this book will be my ticket! People are already "hearting" me on Etsy and I have a way to mass distribute my art without devaluing it's worth! It is exciting to me to finally be on the track I believe God intended.

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Weeks 2,3 and 4

2011-04-18T14:41:00.007-06:00

Week 2:

I chickened out...

What is it with my value-setting issues? I toyed with the price of my 20x30 ThinWraps over and over; adding one or two zeros... then going back to the semi-original price again. Finally, I left it at "State Fair price"... times 10! I have managed to leave it that way for a few weeks now. I hope my erratic prices haven't caused too much damage thus far!

I kept thinking about the hundreds of almost sells I had at the art shows. No matter how many times I hear from well-meaners that the "almosts" are good; knowing that people "dig" my work doesn't pay the bills.

Note to self: Remember what you learned from your fellow artists!

I do not want to be a "gypsy" artist! I want to sell to the people that actually buy art... You know, the people with houses or offices big enough to hang it! When I am looking for that market, it makes sense to raise my prices!

Week 3:

I checked out Ebay. I was discouraged by all the pornography disguised as art. I know that for many the line between the two is fuzzy. I say; if it makes you feel funny it's pornography. Black and white. Simple as that. I can tell you, it was not a pleasant feeling looking through the listings on Ebay trying to market definite art. I knew I didn't want beauty debased by filth.

Week 4:

I like Etsy. I'm not sure how big it is yet. Does anyone outside of Utah use it to list? I kept thinking about Ebay as a way to reach a bigger market. I logged back on, this time checking the listings from the highest price first. That was better. Also, it gave me a little more confidence to shoot higher in pricing. I saw Peter Lik's work there. I remembered, though I am not so sure of it myself, that I had been compared to him a couple of times at the Fair.

I listed one item on Ebay.

My plan from here on out: I will continue to list, at least on Etsy, and begin work on a photo book. (Apparently, according to some research, the photo book idea worked for my new friend, Peter Lik...)

...I can't help but wonder whether Van Gogh would have sold more than one piece of art if he had the Internet!

check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

The Great Experiment

2011-03-05T15:31:00.004-07:00

Day 1 of The Great Experiment:

"Who's gonna place value on that? You, that's who! Ain't no one gonna do it for you. You pick a price and, suddenly, that's what it's worth! List it on Ebay For $100,000 and see what happens!"

That was a rough quote from our southern friend; speaking in reference to my art. (Who, by-the-way, believes in his theory so much, he jokes about living off of 1% of the profits!) He's right. ...At least I believe he is.

If you asked any level-headed, down-to-Earth-type person you would be considered "unrealistic" to set your sights so high.

The question is: Who am I trying to appeal to? Are the realist majority who I want for my market? If so, I'd better learn to love the "gypsy" way of life! (Meaning: to travel from state to state, show to show barely turning a profit.) ...Or, will I shoot for the stars?

I believe the saying, "You are who you roll with". If I want to be successful, I think I need to start learning from the miracle workers; the idealists.

This reminds me of something Van Gogh said:

"It is better to be high-spirited even though one makes more mistakes, than to be narrow-minded and all too prudent."
Vincent Van Gogh

Thanks, Vincent. I have been inspired, yet again, to ask myself, "What if?".

The plan:

Today, I will list my pieces on Ebay and Etsy for 100x the amount they are currently marked at. I will change my website to match the new prices and monitor and blog the results.

This is a weird felling for me... I feel somewhat nervous, like I am breaking some unwritten rule; yet it's surprisingly invigorating!

"Painting is a faith, and it imposes the duty to disregard public opinion."
Vincent Van Gogh

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

The Results are In!

2011-01-02T18:05:00.005-07:00

After a relatively long "vacation", I am ready to share the results of our adventure! I'm sure that you have been waiting on the edge of your seats for this!?!

Before the Fair:

Everything worked itself out smoothly before the day we were to "open for business" at the State Fair. Even the things that previously would have seemed a near impossible feat didn't stress me out so much this time. We started out $500 short for the booth fee and without a truck to transport our store to Salt Lake! Our enlarged photos that we displayed for sale didn't even arrive at our home until the day before we were to leave... Talk about cutting it close!

Yet, somehow, I maintained a calm demeanor. I knew I was meant to be at that fair; therefore, I knew everything would work out... and it did! Irreplaceable friends and family lent us the money and provided the supplies and babysitting we needed. We were on our way!

At the fair:

Butterflies churned in my stomach as my old nemesis, Fear, tried to conquer me again. However,... the weather was perfect! It may seem like a small thing to have the sun smiling down on you; after all, it's not an unusual event, but I had prayed and prayed it would work out that way after our first "flash flood" experience at Summerfest. My faith swelled inside me... I knew this was going to be a great 2 weeks!

We sold an average of 5 Pieces a day that first 4 day weekend. I was confident that was a great start! Nonetheless, nervousness crept in as the weekdays arrived... David was to head back home to the kids and his job while I manned the booth alone for the 10 to 12 hour days. I ate only the best of foods... potato chips, PB&J's, fruit snacks, apples and peanuts; I was near starving!!! Yet, I was bound and determined to hit the "break-even point" before I allowed myself to spend any of my earnings.

I don't think I sold anything that Monday and Tuesday. It got harder and harder to have faith in myself by the time mid-week came. Wednesday, my brother-in-law tried to commit suicide. Doctors told the family they didn't know if he would live or die. For 24 hours I stayed by the phone, completely distressed about where I should be while this was happening. I prayed and prayed. He was okay.

Just when I thought I had had enough, another internal conflict arose with the arrival of my parents. I hadn't seen or talked with them for some time and I definitely didn't expect them there then! My parents have a way of making me lose all my personal power and I felt like a child again. Though it was good to bring up some things that had been weighing on me, I could have thought of countless other places I would have liked to have the discussion!

Finally, by Thursday, I was in tears. The stress was overwhelming and the sells were barely existent. I prayed again with all the faculties of my heart. I knew that I couldn't do this myself any longer...

God sent me my long lost friend. A friend that I had adored as a teenager and young adult; my dear friend and the only person I could count on to make me laugh EVERY TIME! I knew that was a direct blessing from Him because that laughter carried me on until my sweet David arrived. That hope that God was still hearing me and cared is the same hope that saved me.

Now, this could possibly be a testimony to all those who question the part of a positive attitude when it comes to sales, because as soon as my husband showed up with his faith in my work, and me and my insecurities backed off, we started to sell again! By the time we packed up for home, we had sold 50 pieces of art. Now, this being a new business, our expenses were quite high and we didn't make back what we'd put into it like I had imagined, over and over in my mind...

All and all, though, I would call our endeavor quite successful! Though, I didn't sell as many art pieces as my cousin-in-law sells diaper bags, I learned a valuable lesson:

"If you hear a voice within you say, 'You cannot paint', then, by all
means, paint... and that voice will be silenced!"
-Vincent van Gogh

I find that I am battling only my own "greatness". I was humbled by the almost constant compliments of successful artists. They each told me that I "had something" and that I should never give up or allow someone (myself included) to tell me that I wasn't going to make it... They said that I was great. I received some self-esteem; what more success could I have wished for? Now I only have to believe in myself!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Come What May, and Love It!

2010-08-24T14:35:00.005-06:00

It's like Christmas time at the Packer home! My heart pounds like a child's does on Christmas eve. Only 15 days until the "big" Utah State Fair arrives!

It's hard not to make any assumptions or to create false hopes... I have learned, the hard way, that trying to force an outcome never works! To avoid the tedious predicament of "crying a river" and then "building a bridge to get over it", the formula to success is thus: "Come what may, and love it!".

Easier said than done? You ain't a kiddin'! How does one love humiliation, debt or failure?

Have you ever noticed that when you are on the brink of something big, (some life-changing discovery such as, "Hey, maybe I am worth it!") then is when the greatest opposition strikes?
Your faith is tried like a Native American on a journey to manhood!

I have a cousin-in-law who started her business about the same time I did. The results of our two year ventures are in. Business A: success! (major success) Business B: ummmm.... barely past the starting line. Can you guess which one is me?

On the way home from a gathering, the usual interrogation by well-meaning relatives began... "What will you do if this fair is a failure?" (Meaning, like the last 2 were?...) "How much are you willing to loose?" and, my personal favorite, "You might have to face the fact that in the real world, you have to get a 9 to 5 job like the rest of us."

No wonder only 1% of the population has all of the money; the other 99% have family like mine!

Never mind them, what really matters is that my Heavenly parents know what's best for me. I just have to put one foot in front of the other, in the darkness, and the light will follow. When I learn to stop judging my experiences "good" or "bad", I learn that I am safe in the hands of a loving God and that all things will work for my good in the end.

Everyday can be like a Christmas gift; and you, the excited child! Sometimes you receive socks... or a "wouldn't-be-caught-dead-wearing" hand knitted sweater from Great-Grandma Garden Gnome, or sometimes you receive a shiny new bike or a beautiful new dress that makes you feel like a princess!

The lesson: if you didn't get socks, you wouldn't have feet!

"I am still far from being what I want to be, but with God's help I shall succeed."
-Vincent van Gogh

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Sick

2010-07-14T14:03:00.010-06:00

Have you ever read the poem titled "Sick" by Shel Silverstein?

I am completely emphasising with little Peggy Ann Mckay...

It has been nearly a month since Summerfest and I still feel sick. I haven't been able to bring myself to go back to work full heartily. Some of my passion has been drained. Whether it is because another "episode" happened in my dysfunctional family or because it happened just as we were leaving for the art show and I allowed it to penetrate my soul enough to effect the outcome... I don't know.

It seems that delay after delay have been coming up. We are financially strained now, because of the loss we took at Summerfest, yet my soul knows that I need to be at the State Fair. We have done all that we could to fund this business out of our own pockets and cannot get another credit or bank loan so we are left to our last resort...begging!

So far, we get the impression that our begging hasn't been received very well... we have already pretty much sold anything we had of worth and (after 3 kids, a huge calling in my church and running a business) I am physically nauseated by the thought of taking on another responsibility. But, alas, I have even searched for more work I could do amongst all of that. Ugggh.

My soul yearns to get away. To play, to be free...and, most of all, to relinquish all acquired responsibilities!

Why must life be so difficult? Why must freedom be so hard to achieve? Though I have grown stronger for it; I continue to find myself pushing against a boulder that will not move. Why do I insist on wearing myself out so, when others have simply walked around it?

As the last couple decades have been dedicated to "cleaning house", I have rummaged through all the files in my head and "sorted the laundry", so to speak. I have managed to separate mom's "dirty laundry" from dad's, and recognize it as not mine. I am now left to stand back in amazement at the size of my own heap of laundry! I am in horror as I wash and rewash and the "stains" never really come out. What is it that I am still holding on to and why?

My mind tells me not to give up and my heart wants to quit. I continue because I know that it is for the best. I have been torn and worn down, beaten and battered; I know that there are important people in my life that will never change... and I can't change them. However, I can change me and I will rise above! I will because I continue to get up; because I continue to trust my Savior and because I continue to trust myself. Despite what my poketbook might show, I know I am worth it!

"As we advance in life it becomes more and more difficult,
but in fighting the difficulties the inmost strength of the heart is developed."
-Vincent Van Gogh

It is always an uneasy task to undertake when you are fighting for freedom. But if the soul can be liberated, there is nothing of greater worth.

I will be free from my past
I will be free from the projections others
I will be free from self projections
I will be free from my own "games"
I will be free to be me
and... I will be financially free!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

10 Mistakes of the New Business Owner

2010-06-22T16:40:00.004-06:00

10 Mistakes of the New Business Owner:

#1) Never let your family or friends know how much you are investing into your business. They'll remember everything you owe them.

#2) Never let your family or friends know how much you are not making in your business. They'll try to talk you out of it.

#3) Never try to sell contemporary art to farmers.

#4) Never try to "save money" on do-it-yourself-ers. Your booth might collapse.

#5) Decide on a price before you start to sell.

#6) If you aren't selling anything, try raising your prices. Those that have the money to spend want to; those who don't won't anyway...

#7) Have inventory. People want it now, not later!

#8) If at all possible, don't borrow money from investors. They start getting antsy and will want to micro-manage you.

#9) No matter how unnecessary you think it is, have a business plan written before you open for business.

#10) Never, never get your hopes up or let someone tell you you can't do it!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Blowing Smoke?

2010-06-22T14:38:00.003-06:00

Yes, Summerfest is now over with a grand total of 3 art prints sold. (One of which was to a supportive friend.)

Lets just say I know how Van Gogh must have felt when he said this:

"One may have a blazing hearth in one's soul and yet no one ever came to sit by it. Passers-by see only a wisp of smoke from the chimney and continue on their way."
-Vincent van Gogh

Years, months, days,... hours worth of planning and creating new art have passed and are gone. Was it a success? Was it all to no avail? No one yet knows.

How do you measure the worth of soul? Is it by the money she makes or the heads she turns? When value is over-looked, is value then lost?

In Bangkok, there is a small temple that encloses a large Buddha statue made of gold. Before 1957, the statue was only known to be made of clay and remained that way for several hundred years. It was only until the clay cracked under immense stress that it's true value was revealed.

For many years, I have thought myself the value-less clay statue. Chiseling away the hardened mask continues to be a difficult task. I struggle to hold on to the hope that I might be made of gold on the inside as I put myself on display.

"Why does it matter", some might ask, "that your art didn't sell?"

Answer: It doesn't. It only matters what I think of myself and whether I am making a difference in this world.

A lighthouse can never see the many weary travelers it has brought home until the light of the dawn hits the harbor at the end of the storm. My goal was to be a light in the storm for the passers-by... That, through my passion for color and child-like play, I could bring a smile to the faces of those who would stop. That through my courage to shine, others might too.

In that, I believe I have succeeded. I have found my direction and have rededicated my efforts... I raise my head, that was hung in defeat, and smile. I will try even harder next time. For, to me, it is not just art; it is following my God-given destiny to brighten up this world and help others find joy in living in the moment.

Though my dreams have not yet taken flight the fire in my heart will continue to burn... For all you weary passers-by, come, stay awhile and partake of it's warmth!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

Fired!

2010-05-26T18:56:00.005-06:00

On April 1st, 1876,Vincent van Gogh was fired from his job as an art dealer... He was resentful about the fact that art was being treated as a commodity; and his customers were apparently made very aware!

Does anyone really know what the word "commodity" means? Is it a good thing, or a bad thing? I had no idea that "commodity" actually implies something that has become generic. You might purchase a commodity at Nordstrom or Walmart and get the exact same thing! The demand may have sky-rocketed (good) but the value of the product is made next to nothing when you can purchase it anywhere; as fast as you can pull out some "plastic"! (bad)

More and more, fine art and craftsmanship are being replaced by mass "cookie-cutter" type reproductions made possible by modern machines and robotics. I suggest that artistic value is being diminished as the masses themselves are being industrialized! We are rushed through schools that train us to think alike and follow protocol... We become drones as we lose are divinity in the search for the bigger, better and more.

Think back to 1st grade when we were told to "color within the lines". If we were asked to draw a flower, we were corrected when it didn't match the expected. As children of God, we have the awesome ability to create; and the right to be unique! Our ancestors created beautiful sculptures, paintings, carvings, weavings and architectural designs. I crave to admire the great attention to detail in such pieces, don't you? I enjoy the grand beauty of an old building or hand-carved furniture in which so much thought went. (As well as blood, sweat and tears!)

Today, in the place of elegant palaces, tower elusive sky-scrapers. The most art many of us will see on a daily basis is the latest iPhone design or the new packaging on your bottle of Coke. Maybe some of us are fortunate enough to have an art-appreciating boss who had framed prints placed around the office but how often are they admired? Perhaps they need to be updated?

As an artist I have found that one of my very biggest struggles, thus far, has been the pricing of my art. I feel that putting a value on a piece is akin to putting a label of worth on myself. Was Van Gogh right? Is art a commodity? And what of photography when the photos are so easily reproduced?

"How is anyone supposed to do this?" I wonder as I struggle to find the balance between a price that is a generic fit amongst the other commodities or an ambitious value that no one else respects.
All my life; I, myself, put off my artistic calling because I was trained to believe it was not valued!

However, I have come to believe my art is special and that makes it so. You can find a unique personality in it; and, even though it is photography, that gives it value. Forethought, time, attention, skill in the craft... all give worth to something.

As I have grown as a person, I now realize the value of the present moment. It is most precious. I have found meaningful value in my art because it brings me to the present. Anything that makes you aware of the moment is a heaven-sent miracle and should be treated as sacred. Children, marital relationships, nature, good food, and art are all sacred!

What more great a cause can I be part of?! ...Now that's value!

(come visit me at http://www.meloniepacker.com)

There was a princess once...

2010-05-18T13:37:00.013-06:00

There was a little princess, once, who lived not very long ago. She was a good princess who was talented and very beautiful. Her father had entrusted her with a brilliant flame she carried with her everywhere she went. All the kingdom admired and adored her and her flame...

In the middle of the night, her precious flame was stolen and smothered and the princess was thrown into the kingdom's dungeon. The poor, little princess was left alone and scared in the dark. Afraid that someone would recognize her without her lost flame, she tore her dress into rags, ratted her hair and smeared her face with mud. The other prisoners began to taunt and hiss at her and she began to believe the things they said were true...

One day, the King came looking for his daughter amongst the foul-mouthed prisoners. When the little princess heard of his arrival, she hid herself because she was embarrassed of what she had (or had not) become. From that day forward, she vowed to herself that she would never give up until she had found a way to reignite the flame and become the queen she was destined to be!

Have you ever noticed how brainwashed we are to stay in our poverty?

It seems we are literally programed at a young age to stay confined in tight little dungeons called "the money game". Meanwhile, a small percentage of us continue to monopolize all the success and prosperity. We limit ourselves. We are essentially like eagles who have clipped their own wings and therefore have sabotaged their great potential.

Think about it... You've probably heard most of these sayings:

"Money doesn't grow on trees"

"A bad penny"

"Filthy rich"

"Money is the root of all evil"

"Break the bank"

"Another day, another dollar"

"The rich get richer and the poor get poorer"

"The idle rich"

...Honestly the list could go on and on!

I was exhausted by a conversation that took place in my own home. Someone very dear to me proudly announced his declaration to stay at a $37,000 yearly income. I understood his concern; which was that the more successful he got in a business or company, the more demands on his time. Unfortunately, his logic was skewed. He had painted a picture in his mind of what it meant to be wealthy. Stressed, grumpy, overworked, selfish...

I fear this is a similar perspective on which most people found their beliefs. (Otherwise, more of us would be rich!) They appear to humble themselves in their poverty; yet, in their pride they are shortchanging not only themselves but God and others by withholding their potential to do much more good in the world! I am reminded of a wonderful quote:

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?' Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people wont feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It is not just in some of us; it is in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others." (Quoted by Nelson Mandela, Marianne Williamson -A Return to Love)

It saddens me that so many of us have heard this quote and understood it yet we feed on the negativity we create for ourselves and are,therefore, unwilling to sacrifice what mistakenly makes us feel comfortable!

What my friend didn't understand is that money doesn't have to equal time, and values do not have to be sacrificed in order to become wealthy. These are old beliefs that reek of self deprivation and mediocrity. Some of the best people I know had to establish themselves beyond "financially secure" before they could become the people they became. Many great things were done by poor people; and many more were done by those that could afford to serve.

I made a covenant with an awkward little girl, once, that I would no longer repress her greatness and her light. There was a lot to be overcome...and a lot, still, that has to be uncovered. Searching for a stolen self-worth on a journey of healing is no easy task. However, I have committed to this journey, not only for the benefit of the little girl, but for the benefit of the world! There was a princess once...who is on her way to becoming a queen!

(check out my work at http://www.meloniepacker.com/)

Thank You Oprah!

2010-05-12T10:11:00.007-06:00

Spring 2008

The kids are finally down for their afternoon slumber. I can't just "take a break" (I'm a mom) so I grab a basket of laundry to be folded and practically skip to the living room for my one daily indulgence. ...OPRAH!

Young inventors take the stage. They were people who had 1 great idea that set them up for life! Simple ideas like: Spanx, YouTube and Jibbitz shoe charms... I started to think about JK Rowling and her one great story line that made her an incredible income as an author!

One idea...that's all I needed. One great idea and my husband (who was working six days a week) could stay home with our family! We could pay our bills and go on vacations ...or complete my all-time, biggest dream of becoming a philanthropist!

My hopes ballooned and I brought them all to God. I told him exactly what I wanted to accomplish (while sticking to my goal of being stay-at-home mom) and asked for His help. Surely God, the greatest inventor, could spare 1 idea that would change our lives and get us out of this "rat race"...

Summer 2009

I knew in every fiber of my being that if God was going to bless me, it would be through my art. I knew this was what I was supposed to be doing. However, while sitting in a comatose-like trance at a rained out art festival, I found it very hard to stay optimistic. I knew I needed something more to help my work stand out as something truly unique. I wanted to be able to catch the attention of the people ...despite the downpour!

I had plenty of time to ponder about everything that needed to change or improve if I wanted this business to be a success. I needed more creativity in design, function and efficiency. I felt we must have done just about everything wrong this first time around... somehow, we had to get our costs down!

(I believe, though I didn't see it then, that God had set up a whole serendipity for me. For in the midst of my trial, I came across a snapshot of a painting that was cut into pieces. I'm not exactly sure why it happened then when I had seen so many other similar displays... but that snapshot sparked an idea! )

Today

Only 5 more weeks until the big day. I am already somewhat nervous; but I know the real "fireworks" wont begin until about a week before the show. We have been gathering supplies and information for our new product and, so far, we have been getting a great response from family and friends!

We were lucky enough to be able to use some of the tax return this year to invest in the business. A miracle. (Thank goodness for deductions!) I completed 3 of these new displays and hung them up in our home. My husband finally got on board the express train with me when he "caught the vision". (He's a visual learner...)

In some ways, however, the money that we invest makes me feel sick to the stomach as an unwelcome thought tries to creep it's way into my head. I don't know what it is saying because, of course I'm not listening, but I'm guessing it would be somewhere along the lines of, "You are going to fail!"

I close my eyes, hold my breath and say a little prayer. Then, I pick myself up again and move forward. I am way out of my comfort zone... but then, what successful person wasn't?

(come visit me at http://www.meloniepacker.com/)

Silence

2010-05-09T14:20:00.001-06:00

Blank pages, white "drawing boards", empty memory cards...

Silence has swept through me again. Not the welcome kind, like those savored afternoons when you've managed to get all the kids down for naps at the same time! ...Today there are no soft bird songs, no bubble bath, no warm flicker of a cozy fire... Just a solemn silence; like after a devastating earthquake or war.

War. That's about what it was. Life has been an ongoing war zone. Battles were fought in my head and heart. Some have been won; victory (in some degree) has been declared... but it has left me broken and empty. Now, I am left with the unsettling silence that stirs my being and seems to threaten everything I have worked for.

Tapes in my head previously played constantly as the "wall" of beliefs I had formed as a child struggled to stay in tact. I challenged their authenticity:

"I am not good enough" now has a large, unrepairable crack on its face.
"I am not lovable " is only half its previous towering height.
"I am a failure" remains only as a weathered-looking stumbling block...

I sit in that solemn silence; basking in the light that escapes the ruins of the wall I had once considered my friend. I am tempted, for a moment, to ponder if I were wrong to rage war upon it. Who am I to be successful? What is my significance that God would notice me?

Gratefully, I am jolted back to reality as I remind myself of the pain these lies have caused. I am not quite strong enough at the moment to embrace my "brilliance", so...I remain in silence.

This awkward absence of noise has become my much needed teacher. It allows me to create a space around my past. I hold a place for the "seed" of truth, that I'd planted, to grow in my heart. When it finally does, I will gladly welcome it with all of my being!

You see, this silence that I have earned is a treasure. It is where the gifts of humility and meekness come to complete harmony with brilliance and worth. It is the place where pride is brought down and God can heal my soul.

"It was never about me!", I declare as I realize, "I just might be a rather plain and insignificant person! So what?" I have learned for myself that the greatest beauty to be had in life shines its brightest through the most simple of forms!

So, I stand again and I raise my flag in victory as I claim this battle ground for a new purpose. This day I allow my God and master to refine and smooth away the remnants of my "wall". I welcome His silence, and the light of creativity and beauty it brings, to shine through me undistorted! I will evermore "be still"... and allow Him to be my commander.

Dear Vincent, I can only wonder what could have been if you had only found my beloved friend, ...silence.