Running With Dithers

Russell Peters and his “felonies waiting to happen”

2017-04-05T15:13:00.000-07:00

From pretty much the beginning of Russell Peters’ career, I have been a supporter of his. His jokes were original, it took the veil off of a lot of issues, and they were funny and relatable. For a few years, he was in town on my birthday, but I wouldn’t find out until after I was committed to plans, or the tickets would be sold out by the time I found out, so I’ve never been able to see him live. That had been a long time goal of mine.

His last two specials (particularly the latest Netflix one) haven’t done much for me. It was almost exclusively recycled jokes from his previous specials and I literally fell asleep during the last one, so I couldn’t even tell you if there was any original content. Actually, no, that’s not true. There was a lot of content making fun of his ex-wife. I remember thinking “man, your daughter is going to watch this stuff as she gets older. Do you really want her to hear this stuff?”

I understand and accept that comedy is subjective and should be left largely uncensored. I also don’t agree with boycotting venues that host comedians who toe, or out-right cross the line from humor to crass, obscene, and vulgar. The venues often don’t have creative control over content, and just because you don’t find it funny, doesn’t mean someone else does.

Comedy is an escapism, and should be left at that.

There are subjects in comedy that I sometimes don’t find humorous (generally they’re jokes that can in some way promote/condone/normalize hate of any form) but I just either tune them out during that time, or straight up stop watching (depends on the venue and whether or not other people are with me) when that’s the case. I recognize that just because it’s not my personal brand of humour, doesn’t make it someone else’s. I also recognize that sometimes comedians make these jokes to shine a light on those issues that people are often uncomfortable talking about, or are a characterization of the ridiculousness of those who support hate. I am perfectly capable of laughing at some of these jokes, given the right context or the history of that particular comedian.

Where I draw the line, personally, is when the jokes promote rape culture. This should never be funny. It should never be defended.

Let me repeat myself. Sexual violence is not funny.

On April 2, 2017, this year’s co-host of the Juno Awards, Russel Peters, went off script and made a joke that has – at least in Canada – potentially left a permanent, Michael Richards sized mark on his rather illustrious career. Standing on the stage, surrounded by many girls in the audience who – to me – clearly look as though they are in their mid-teens, Peters says “Wow, look at these young girls! It’s like a felony waiting to happen!” This joke promotes statutory rape. It’s not funny, and this needs to stop.

Here are some Canadian statistics (direct from Stats Canada) about rape. As you read this, understand that I am one of these statistics – the first half apply directly to me. For some people, ALL of these facts apply to them. In a lot of ways, I was one of the “lucky ones”:

1.       Of every 100 incidents of sexual assault, only 6 are reported to the police
o   Thanks to my mom’s bravery, my abuse was reported
2.       1 in 4 North American women will be sexually assaulted during their lifetime
o   All (yes all) of my incidents of my sexual abuse have taken place in North America
3.       60% of sexual abuse/assault victims are under the age of 17
o   I was as young as five
4.       Over 80% of sex crime victims are women
o   I’m a woman. A proud woman who has survived rape
5.       80% of sexual assault incidents occur in the home
o   Each time
6.       17% of girls under 16 have experienced some form of incest
o   This applies to me
7.       Half of all sexual offenders are married or in long term relationships
o   My first abuser was a married man
8.       80% of assailants are friends and family of the victim
o   My first abuser was my bio-“father”
9.       Only 2 - 4% of all sexual assaults reported are false reports
o   That number is far too high, and often delegitimizes the other 96 – 98% of actual victims
10.   1 - 2% of "date rape" sexual assaults are reported to the police
o   And that’s just based off of empirical data
11.   11% of women have physical injury resulting for sexual assault
o   This is where I am one of the lucky ones
12.   83% of disabled women will be sexual assaulted during their lifetime
o   Again, this is where I’m one of the lucky ones
13.   15% of sexual assault victims are boys under 16
o   This is just of the reported victims
14.   57% of aboriginal women have been sexually abuse
o   If you think sexual assault is under-reported, you should look at the statistics related to abuse amongst aboriginal women. It’s even more depressing
15.   1/5th of all sexual assaults involve a weapon of some sort
o   A lot of abusers just know how to groom or incapacitate their victims such that they don’t require weapons.

When Russell Peters made this joke about statutory rape, he joked about each of my instances of rape. He joked about me. I am the subject of these jokes.

There should be no room in comedy for rape. It’s just that simple.

Peters has remained mute on this topic, except for liking some tweets where he was being defended. To me, this speaks volumes, and when he comes on my TV, I will be hitting mute.

Dear Bruh,

2017-02-13T14:30:00.000-08:00

Dear Bruh,

I understand that, for you, going to the gym is a great time to bro out with your bro force and out-bro one another. I get that, for you, it’s of vital importance to exclaim whilst occupying the chest press, “Bruh! I can do four sets of 15 reps at 85 pounds” and then hear if your bros can out do you. Naturally, you will dispute their claim when they state they can do 4 sets of 50 reps at 100 pounds” (I would too. Their arms and shoulders don’t look like they can do 2X20X50). I get this. But please, BRO OUT SOMEWHERE ELSE!!! While you’ve been sitting at the machine for 10 minutes lying to your bros, you haven’t done a damn thing. I need that machine. I will actually use that machine.

Give me two minutes on the blasted thing, and then you can go back to lying to your bros while sitting on the press like the selfie taking, bench warmer you clearly are. I’m only recently retuning to the gym scene after a long absence, but I have quickly compiled a list of Dos and Don’ts (mostly don’ts) for the gym.

1: If you’re going to superset on multiple machines – don’t hog all the machines! If the machine you want is occupied, move on the next machine like the rest of us, or find an alternative. Don’t scatter your crap about all the machines you want and put them in a holding pattern. There’s one leg press and a dozen or so people who may want to use it at any given time. If it’s part of your superset, and you’re currently doing barbell squats, don’t put your sweat rag on the leg press bench to reserve it while you finish your squats.

2: Continuing with the leg press: do clean up after yourself. When you’re done your set, take the

weights off. Its super annoying when I’m finally able to get on to the press and I have to take 150+ pounds off the damn thing so that I can put my weights on. Listen. Not all of us are able to/want to do 150+ pound presses. I’m only at 70 pounds, and I don’t plan to exceed 100. My legs are plenty strong and decently toned. I don’t need to add more weights and look like I’m about to enter a strong man competition. If that’s what you want, all the more power to you, but clean up after your damn self. I ain’t your mama.

3: Don’t horde the dumbbells. Unless you have hands so big that it makes Lou Ferrigno’s hands look about as big as Trumps, there’s no reason for you to have 84 pairs of dumbbells. Again, you’re supersetting, I get it. But I mean seriously. The gym I go to has three sets of weights as well as kettle balls, and literally everyone who had the one pair of weights I needed had multiple pairs of dumbbells at their feet. What the hell? I, too, would like to do my sets. I don't want to be the person who runs to the trainers crying "teacher! that cross fitter's hogging all the weights" but a girl's about to get desperate here.

4: If someone’s signed up for a cardio machine from 6:15 – 6:45 and its 6:44 and you can clearly see that they have a minutes and 44 seconds left, don’t tap them on their shoulder and shout “Are you getting off at 6:45 or what?!” Lady, chill! Not everyone’s watches are synchronized to your watch. Do some stetches, and let them finish their cooldown. Don’t tap on their sweaty shoulders and do your best hen impression. That just isn’t cool.

5: If you’re going to do some stretches while you’re waiting for your machine to free up, don’t do it right in front of the machine you’re waiting for. That’s totes awkward, and it’s going to make the petty in me shine. I’m middle child; no one does passive aggressive better than a middle child. You are ill equipped, you will lose this petty match up.

All in all, whatever our reasons, whatever our motivations, we’re all there to improve ourselves. Whether that’s our intent or not, that will be the end result. DBAD, and make what may already be a really difficult experience for some to just SHOW UP, even more difficult. Recognize that even though you’re here with your bros, and you’re having a good time bro-ing out, you’re not the only ones here.

How Can I Help?

2017-01-30T23:18:00.000-08:00

As I get inundated/inundate myself with much of the news that’s being discussed around water coolers, gyms, dinner tables, and Facebook walls throughout the world relating to the new Trump administration, I am often sitting here thinking to myself, “how can I help effect change?”

How can I make life safer for my community of amazing people around the world, and in the US in particular?

Being in Canada, how can I lend a hand and show solidarity to those in the US who I love that are part of the black community, the Muslim community, the First Nations community, the LGBT+ community, the community of women, the community of teachers, the middle class and the unemployed, and all the other countless amazing communities that are out there right now who are hurting, crying, afraid, and desperate?

What can I do, beyond my deluge of social media posts, to bring about awareness and social change to those who may not agree with me but are willing to listen?

I’m honestly asking here, because I simply don’t know.

I feel exasperated and hamstrung in my ineffectiveness. I have signed petitions that have led to nowhere but made me feel good for a minute. I have engaged with trolls (and those who are in a quasi-trolly mood, but aren’t really trolls, they’re just feeling like they’re not being heard so they act like trolls which make people not want to hear them and so they act MORE like trolls) in the comments section. I have donated to various causes. I have cheered on my friends who have put jobs/friendships on the line to protest this tyrannical administration. I have done all of this from the comfort of my home. I haven’t actually DONE anything. I just clicked a few buttons, tapped a few keys, and mentally patted myself on the back for being a good person.

There was a vigil today to grieve with the local Muslim community in the wake of yesterday’s mass shooting in Quebec. Mass shootings are an anomaly in Canada; they happen so rarely happen that the entire nation is rocked to its very core (this is the fourth mass shooting since 2014). Sadly, it wasn’t until after the vigil ended that I found out about it so I wasn’t able to attend. There’s a subsequent one on Saturday that I will be out of town for, so again, I can’t attend. So again, I sit here frustrated in my inactivity.

I see way too many parallels between this new Trump administration and the rise of the Nazi regime and it scares me. Not in the *excuse me as I attempt to type like Kim K sounds* “like, omg those poor, like... people” kind of scared. But in the “Holy shit, maybe those crazy Preppers are on to something, and we need to seriously consider making a bug out bag.” kind of scared. I genuinely fear that we are witnessing Nazi Germany 2.0 in the making, and I am equally terrified that as loud as everyone is about speaking out against this horrific scene developing, we aren’t being loud enough. The poem “First They Came...” has been running through my head in a constant loop for over a week now.

I want and need to speak for the Socialists, and the Trade Unionists, and Jews... because soon, someone will need to speak for me. I am terrified that the meager things I have done have amounted to nothing, and I as good as silent.

I need to go look at puppies and baby sloths, because...

I feel my zen coming back a bit...

OMG they’re in a bucket!

How is he even real <3

Awww, he’s tired

Let’s just end this here
http://www.kittycatcam.com/

The Stratosphere Hotel in Las Vegas: Come here, just don't stay here

2014-09-04T13:17:00.000-07:00

I haven't posted in a while, and I just came back from a trip to Vegas so come, sit. Let me tell you a tale (or scroll down for a synopsis).

When I first stayed at the Stratosphere eight years ago, it was my first vacation with my now husband, my first time in Vegas, and I was in that stage of pregnancy where everything is awesome *cue Lego Movie song*, so it was hard to go wrong with me. This time around, I came here with my best friend to celebrate her 30th birthday. She and I were tight on cash, and I had a great experience at the Strat last time, so I figured this would be the best place to stay this time.

Oh how wrong I was.

When we checked in, I slipped the front desk clerk $20 thinking it would give us a good upgrade and he made a good show about that being the case. Depending on how you define upgrade, I suppose it was. We were "upgraded" to the top floor, but he claimed we were in the newly renovated rooms (which I had booked and paid for in the reservation), but we had one of the older rooms. So, I'm thinking I got jobbed there.

The room we had was nice enough. As standard hotels go, there really wasn’t anything to complain about there. If you’ve stayed in Vegas, and on The Strip (which the Strat technically is a part of. It’s closer to Freemont though, in my estimation) enough times though, you come to expect a certain standard with your room and the Strat just doesn’t live up to it. The Select Rooms were recently renovated, however, and they’re quite a bit nicer. If you must stay here, make sure you get a Select Room. Seriously, don’t budge on this one at all.

The casino floor is poorly lit and reeks of old cigarette and cigars. I know you have to expect a certain amount of stench on casino floors, but the more main stream casinos at least have the decency to try to mask the stench with their own unique perfume they add to the AC. The Strat doesn’t bother with such niceties.

The overall appearance of the hotel seems to have taken a consistent downswing over the years. Recently they've made some improvements (McCall's is an AWESOME restaurant, you must eat there at least once!), but they fall much too short of enticing me to ever stay here again. Everything just had a feeling of desolation and sadness. I probably would have had a better experience staying at the Nugget or some other sad little hotel in Freemont.

My husband had the desk fall apart on him – literally ON him – and they didn’t even bother to report it to facilities. They just left this GIANT piece of desk continue to rest where my husband had left it. When he phoned to address this issue, the front desk clerk told him he’d send security up to prove my husband didn’t break the desk himself. After an hour or so later, security came by and actually sorted things out. A concierge came by too and was suuuper magnanimous and offer him two buffet passes, totalling a whopping $15. That’s right. The room fell apart on him, he was accused of being a vandal, an hour+ of our night was wasted, and for that, my husband was offered a pretty lame $15 buffet.

I will, however, tell you about some things they do well (or at least don’t completely mess up).

Club 107 is pretty decent. There are GREAT views, but overpriced drinks and a teeny tiny dance floor keep me from getting super excited about this place. If you go, don’t go when there’s an event up there, and if you want to drink while you’re up there, go after 1am. They have a 2-for-1 drink special. The drinks are $15. FIFTEEN DOLLARS! It’s not like you’re getting top shelf hard bar, either. So definitely wait until the drink specials come into effect before you imbibe there. Better yet, don’t drink there. Don’t go there if you don’t want to dance in Vegas’ smallest dance floor, and dance with strippers either. Because that’s a thing that happens... apparently. (It happened to me).

Roxy’s is a 24 hour 50s diner that’s pretty good and well priced. Sometimes some of the servers will break out into song. That’s always a nice touch. Keep in mind, however, that they shut down every Wednesday morning for cleaning. So if you’re there on a Tuesday night/Wednesday morning, and you get a hankering for their brisket burger at midnight, you’re just going to have to wait for another night.

McCall’s is their pièce de résistance. Do yourself a favour and order their garlic rubbed steak. You can thank me later. Easily the best steak I’ve had in my life, and I’ve had a lot of steak in my lifetime. If Willie is your server, you’ll be in terrific hands. He has the class and elegance of a server at a very formal restaurant, with just enough charm and wit to make you feel like you’re at your favourite neighbourhood restaurant. The bread they serve you is varied and interesting, and their sweet butter is different, but not at all unpleasant. If you’re with a group, and/or VERY hungry, order the Sampler Platter. Again, you’re welcome. You get two jalapeño and bacon wrapped prawns, a half pound of chicken wings, and four smoked cheddar and steak potato skins. Good grief, it is good! If you’re a fan of mojitos, make sure you also order their Black and Blue Mojito. If you prefer the sweeter cocktails, the Heartland Peach is the drink for you.

Synopsis: McCall’s will keep me coming back to the Strat, but just about everything else will keep me from staying here. Spend the extra $20 - $50 and stay anywhere else on The Strip.

Can you afford it?

2014-08-03T23:54:00.000-07:00

So today the husband, the kid, and I went down stateside to hang out and do a bit of shopping. Before we started our shopping marathon, we decided to stop for lunch at Taco Time. Through a miscommunication, we wound up getting two extra tacos that none of us ended up having. We saved the tacos, figuring we could eat it later, or better yet, give it to someone who's hungry.

We went shopping at Ross for an hour or so, and then on our way back to the car, I notice a guy sitting in the parking lot under the blazing hot sun. I've seen him there before, and I've given him food each time I've seen him, since we always seem to have leftovers from some restaurant or another. Today was no exception.

Here's the crazy part: When I gave him the food, his reaction was, "Are you sure you can afford this? Thank you! Are you sure?" This guy, a Navy vet (according to his sign), is hungry, homeless, sitting under the blazing sun, and his primary concern was making sure *I* wasn't going to go hungry or put myself out by giving him this food. Let's be real here - if I didn't give this guy our food, I was going to turf it. And this guy was worried... for *me*. After I just spent $70 on clothes that I didn't *really* need. I was so moved I started to cry.

We often forget how incredibly rich we are. We take our three squares a day, our overabundance of snacks, our drinks at the bar, all of that stuff for granted. We gorge ourselves on Ben and Jerry's and then complain... we complain about how full we are! We whine about being fat. We joke about how this bottle of wine is going to cost us a couple of hours at the gym. Then when some person who's obviously living on the streets has the temerity to ask us for the spare change in our pockets so they can get something to eat, we lie that we don't have any. Or that we can't spare any.

This is a lie. Most of us probably don't have the resources to do what FouseyTube, MagicofRahat, or Sofia's Angels do. But that doesn't mean we can't do something.

I'm going to try to do something.

(PS: Sorry if the post ended somewhat abruptly. It started to sound a bit preachy. I didn't like that, and it's late. So I ended it where I did.)

I miss her

2014-05-01T19:41:00.000-07:00

I’ve been wanting to write a post about religion, and the absence of it in my life. This is my third attempt. I can’t put into words how I feel. I don’t believe in God. I used to. I’ve been hurt by religion. I walked away and haven’t looked back. It’s not as simple as that, but maybe that’s all I need to say about that.

The reason I’ve been struggling with this post for the past week and a half is because today is the 8th anniversary of my friend’s suicide. It’s such a weird time of year for me, since Mini Moo’s birthday falls less than a week prior to that. So there’s this huge build up to the kid’s birthday; days, weeks, months of planning the party (I went a bit nuts this year) and what gifts to get and an almost immediate crash into missing my friend even more than normal.

This year it’s even harder for me. I know someone who’s struggling with suicide. I don’t know this person well, but someone who’s really important to me knows this person really well. He’s a young person who doesn’t fully realize the impact suicide has on the people left behind. I miss my friend all the time. There are times where it’s so bad, I can’t function properly. There are times I’m so angry at her that I want to punch things, throw things, destroy things. I can’t yell at her, so what other option do I have? Most of all, I miss talking to her.

She was funny, so smart, loved animals, being active, and being with her friends. She adored her family. She had her own business. She was a light. She struggled with depression and thoughts of suicide. She had a hard time finding her own identity. She believed in God, but had a lot of questions that couldn’t be answered.

And now she’s gone.

We can’t ever talk to her over the phone. We can’t post stupid quizzes on her Facebook wall and find out what flower she is (she’d be a green tulip). Her family can’t hug her. Her pain made her blind to all the amazing things she brought to this world, and she took that from us. I’ll love her forever, and I’ll never stop mourning her death. But I don’t think I’ll ever forgive her for that moment of selfishness.

I wish I could grab this kid by the shoulders and say, “Don’t you dare!! Don’t you dare deprive the world of all you have to offer! Don’t you dare leave a hole in the hearts of your family and friends that will never be filled!” I have talked to him about how suicide has impacted me and my friends. One of my best friends has also talked to him about her own experiences with suicide. He listens to us, and all the people who are trying to help him, but I worry he doesn’t hear us.

Like with my friend, he can’t see past the wall of pain. All he knows is that living... that taking that next breath... is just too hard. He’s convinced that people won’t give a shit if he lives or dies. He thinks those who love him will move on in no time, and things will be better for everyone around him.

Unfortunately when someone’s in such a dark hole, there’s little that can be said to that person to convince them otherwise. All we can do is love them, give them as much support and encouragement as we can, and try to show them how our lives are so much richer with them in it. My life will never be the same without my friend in it. The same is true for her family and friends. The same would be true if this kid does the unthinkable. Many lives will be profoundly impacted by his loss. I just hope he realizes this before it’s too late.

If you’re in a scary place, please know that you’re not alone. There are people who are there to help you. If you feel you can’t talk to your family and friends, there are help lines you can call. You can go to the hospital. You can call the police. You can talk to a teacher or counselor at school. Please don’t convince yourself that no one will help and please don’t stop asking for help. There will be someone who can help.

If you are thinking of hurting yourself, please call someone for help.
If you suspect someone around you may be suicidal and you don’t know what to do, please call someone for help.

Below is a list of resources that you can use for help.

Kids Help Phone (Canada)

Canadian Association for Suicide Prevention (Canada)

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline (USA)

American Foundation for Suicide Prevention (USA)

Papyrus (UK)

Samaritans (UK)

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For resources close to you, wherever you are in Canada click here
List of suicide crisis lines by country
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If your country isn’t listed, and you would like me to include them on my list, please leave a comment below and I will do what I can to include a national number or resource on this post.

Someone loves you. Even if it’s someone you don’t know or haven’t met yet. Trust me in this.

I love you.

White Privilege

2013-07-15T21:56:00.000-07:00

The evening of the George Zimmerman not guilty (*cough*bullspit*cough*) verdict was passed down, I saw this status on Facebook.

I'm crying, crying, crying. My God, I thought that at some point... you know what? Last fall I bought my 3 boys cheapie hoodies from Walmart for the fall. I have to remind my 8 and 6 year old to not wear the hats on their hoodies, I bought them separate hats to cover their heads. I tell them at home you can wear the hoods, but never in public. My baby boy said "But mom, that's what it's there for, to cover our head" but I have to train them up. I have to TRAIN them that it can be dangerous for them. Honestly, I think most of y'all are good people, but please realize that this is REAL SHIT to Black people. I don't want to teach my boys this, but I have to. God, my heart is broken and I can't stop crying.

I haven't been able to not think about this since I read it. This is something Mini-Moo won't ever have to worry about, and that depresses me. Not because my son won't ever have to worry about wearing a hoody out in public, or worry about his name sounding too "ethnic" (*cough*bullspit*cough*) to get a job and therefore adopting an "employable" nickname (read: "White" name), or worry about being pulled over for speeding and making sure he behaves in such a way the police won't misinterpret his actions as aggressive. It depresses me because other parents have to train their kids to worry about this stuff.

This is the reality of 2013 - still. And the thing is, this isn't something we can claim is an American problem. This is as much an issue in Canada, and the people who get the crap end of the stick in the want of racial equality are First Nations. One really solid indicator of this is the prison population.

In Canada, aboriginals make up about four per cent of the general Canadian population, yet make up 23 per cent of the prison population. Racial over-representation in the prison system is equally as horrid in the United States. According to the US Bureau of Justice Statistics (BJS) non-Hispanic blacks accounted for 39.4% of the total prison and jail population in 2009. According to the 2010 census of the US Census Bureau blacks (including Hispanic blacks) comprised 13.6% of the US population. In this infographic you can see how the system is really built to favour the white population in the US and while there isn't a well laid out (if poorly proof-read) infographic to show it, the same is true for the Canadian penal system.

For years, I've been really guilty of thinking, "well, I'm not a racist. I value all races equally so this racism thing everyone talks about is a problem, but it's not a problem in my life." Sure, I'd get upset when I see evidence/footage of inequality but by and large, I was indifferent to it. Not with any malice aforethought, I just was. I think an overwhelming, well-meaning majority of us have been/are. It seems like such a huge issue, while at the same time, such an old issue. I mean, Martin Luther King Jr. gave that epic speech, and the States has a black president who's serving his second term, right? What's left to be done?

There's a lot to be done. Exactly what, and how - I have no clue. I have to hope that not being blinded about being "colourblind" is at least a start. There is no post-racial America. If you still have to say "port-racism America" then it's not. Nor is that the case in Canada.

If you're still reading this (thanks!) and you come from a European background and live in North America, think about the fact that you and I have never had to encounter the same levels of racism as others have. We may have experienced moments here and there, but it's not a systemic occurrence. We haven't had to be trained not to trust police, to not speak about cultural events, or wear certain clothing.

We shouldn't feel guilty about being white, but we should be aware of this, be aware of how utterly unfair this is, and be aware that if we want equality for everyone, we need to start saying that this isn't okay. For decades, we've stood by and watched as Blacks, Natives, and Hispanics have fought for equal treatment and we've felt good about ourselves because we agreed with their point of view.

It's not enough anymore.

Taco Stuffed Pasta Shells

2013-06-28T14:42:00.001-07:00

I got this recipe from SAOrganics.com. You can make this as mild or as flavourful (read: spicy) as you like. We tend to like things on the milder side, so I reduced the amount of the dry taco seasoning, and used mild salsa and taco sauce). My guys are picky eaters, and both (especially Mini-Moo!) really liked this dish.

I'm definitely making this one again! I promised some friends the recipe, so without further ado, here it is. My notes are in Italics.

I forgot to take a picture of the dish, so I used the photo from momsownwords.com

1 lb. ground beef or turkey (I used ground chicken – because I’m a rebel like that)
1/4 cup taco seasoning, 1 envelope (we’re sissies, so I just used a bit of the seasoning – this is really according to taste)
4 oz. cream cheese, cubed (or scooped or whatever...who has time to cube?)
12 Jumbo Pasta shells, cooked according to package instructions (I just used the entire box of jumbo shells. It effectively more than doubles the recipe, but I think there was just too much filling for just 12 shells)
1 cup salsa
1 cup taco sauce*
1 cup shredded cheddar cheese
1 cup shredded Jack cheese (I didn’t have any Jack cheese. Just use whatever the heck cheese you want; we used marble. You can make this recipe over and over again – and depending on what cheeses you use, it can really change the dish.)

1 can tomato sauce. (I added this because I wanted it to be a pasta dish with a Tex-Mex flavour, not a Tex-Mex made with pasta)

Optional Toppings: ( I totally didn’t see this!!)

1 1/2 cup crushed tortilla chips
1 cup sour cream
3 green onions, chopped
sliced olives
guacamole
sliced avocados
tomatoes

Directions

1. In a skillet brown meat over medium heat. Add taco seasoning (* I added the taco sauce in this step) and mix to combine. Add cubed cream cheese, cover and simmer so cream cheese can melt. Remove from heat and cool.

2. Fill cooked shells with about 1-2 T. of meat mixture (I used about ¾ tbsp per shell). In a 9×13 glass baking dish pour salsa to coat the bottom of dish. Place filled taco shells on top then add ~~taco sauce~~ tomato sauce. Cover and bake @ 350 for 30 minutes. Remove from oven, uncover, and sprinkle cheese on top, return to oven for another 15 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly. Serve with sour cream, and toppings of your choice.

3. Enjoy!

Why Torts will be awesome for Vancouver

2013-06-24T23:41:00.001-07:00

Last week, the Vancouver Canucks announced former Rangers' head coach John Tortorella is to be the new head coach. I should have made a blog post about this the day after we got swept out of the first round; I told my husband, "How awesome would it be - if AV gets canned - if they hire Torts as the new head coach? I would never be happier to see a post game wrap up!"

Those of you who are avid hockey fans know of Tortorella's, um, tenuous relationship with reporters... or fans... or his players (see here, or here, or here, or here). He's not known for subscribing to Thumper's mother's philosophy of, "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all." and this leads me to the three reasons why I think he'll be great for the Vancouver organization. Despite these reasons being numbered, they are listed in no particular order.

#1. He's going to keep the Vancouver sports reporters in line.

For years now, I think our local reports have received some special treatment (or think they're entitled to special treatment) by the players, the coaching staff, and the franchise as a whole. Recently, the hubs came up with a phrase: "Can you get this knife out of my back? I need it for something else." This seems to sum up the relationship the Vancouver organization has with the reporters here. As a fan, it seems as though the franchise gives the reporters far more access than any other franchise gives their local reporters. Now, I don't think this entitles the franchise to receive rose-coloured reporting, but Botchford and the like often seem to forget that they have it pretty easy with the Vancouver Canucks organization. I imagine it wouldn't be that way in any other market.
Tortorella will probably have a lot of fun reminding our reporters what it's like in most other markets, and I will have a lot more fun watching this happen. He'll have them whipped in shape in no time.

#2. He's going to keep the Vancouver fans in line.

Vancouver NHL fans are known for being band wagon fans. If you google "vancouver bandwagoners" you'll see blog entry after blog entry, and news article after news article detailing just how notorious we are for hopping on and off the bandwagon. Remember that phrase the hubs came up with? Yeah, that applies to Vancouver Canucks and their relationship with us fans. When we're winning, all we can holler about is how this year is our year (2013/14 season is TOTALLY our year. I can feel it!). The minutes we lose a game... scratch that, the second we miss a shot, we all scream from the mountain tops (and we have a lot here) about how we knew that was a bogus trade deal; how he's not won a face off in 10 games; how, if we'd kept the last guy with the softest hands in the league, that puck most definitely would have found the back of the net.
Torts won't put up with that mess. He will call us out on that, and have fun doing it. He'll have us whipped into shape in no time.

#3. He's going to keep the Vancouver players in line.

As with every franchise, we have some prima donnas on our team. We have The Twins who can only pass to each other (amazing passes though they sometimes are), Kesler who seems to be made of glass, and Bieska who talks too much (I adore him, but seriously, the man jaws himself into the sin bin far too many time) to name a few players who have probably been treated with kid gloves (especially The Twins, I bet). Bieska stating that they don't need someone to crack the whip tells me that that's exactly what the team needs. GM Mike Gillis probably recognized this as well I bet is the very reason he courted Torts.
Vancouver players are treated well. They have some ground breaking fitness and training philosophies; they really get down to the science of fitness and nutrition with the players, and tailor a regimen to suit each individual players needs. They have a support staff that I doubt can be rivaled by any other team in the league (save perhaps some of the Original Six teams... but even then, I'm not too sure). They live in the most beautiful city in the world. Life is good, if you're in the NHL and you're playing for Vancouver. Sure, you'll get swept out of the playoffs one season, and then get frustratingly close to the Cup in subsequent seasons, but you're living the good life here. With that, however, comes complacency. This is where Torts comes in. He's going to make some players very non-complacent. He'll have them whipped into shape in no time.

I know there are a number of sport journalists, fans, and players who aren't too comfortable with this new development, but I know one player and one fan who can't wait.

This is going to be an awesome season.

Oh em gee, another contest!

2013-06-23T11:09:00.000-07:00

Happy Sunday, folks!

I know I've been beating you over the head with my support of the Mario Marathon, but I'm going to continue to do this today (you'll get a break soon, don't worry *wink*).

For the remainder of the day, every donation to the Mario Marathon through my blog gets you an entry to win a set of six Mario themed pot holders, handmade by my friend @missindyjones! Not only that, but if you donate a minimum $5 you'll also get entered to win a Wii U in the grand prize drawing from the folks at Mario Marathon!

Five dollars for a chance to win six handmade potholder AND a WiiU?? That's a pretty fantastic deal, if you ask me!

Send a screen grab of your donation (should look something like the pic below) to runningwithdithers@outlook.com and you'll be entered to win!

Good luck everyone!

Contest Time!

2013-06-21T13:51:00.001-07:00

Hello friends!

So I'm going to be running at least one or two contests over the next few days to promote the Mario Marathon.

The first contest is Perler Portrait!

Every $10 donated via my blog (using the donate button to the right) before June 21, 2013, 9:00 PM (PST) gets you one entry to win a custom made Perler portrait. Email a screen grab of your donation to runningwithdithers@outlook.com and you'll be added to the draw.

The winner will be announced on this blog and will need to email their photo so that I can pixelate it and turn it into Perler awesomeness. It will take a couple of weeks to make it (need to make sure I have the right amount of the right coloured beads), but I'll get it out to you ASAP.

So start donating, and look as awesome as Mr. Jackson up there!

Grey Mode

2013-06-19T21:56:00.002-07:00

As I mentioned in my last post, my family on occasion goes into Grey Mode. My partner was awesome enough to ghost write another post that explains what that is all about. Enjoy!

Simply put, grey mode is the low power mode from Star Trek: Voyager. Now, I’m not one to quote or refer to Voyager so this must be a pretty serviceable metaphor for me to call back to that train wreck of a show.

For my family grey mode refers to a different way of approaching spending, resources, and entertainment.

On the spending front we don’t buy anything frivolous and are efficient with every penny we spend. This means if there’s an essential we need we get the best per unit price – sometimes this means buying half a decade’s worth of bar soap at once resulting in a high short term expenditure that saves money in the long term and sometimes it means just getting the no name brand. For things like food that we will need eventually we use what we call trigger prices. For example we won’t buy a certain size bag of chips for more than $2.50 but if we see it below that price we buy it regardless of whether we need it now or not, we’ll use it eventually and a good price may be a long time away from returning.

Family resources are used in a similarly pragmatic way – we avoid waste and use things into the ground.
Squeeze every last drop of dish soap from the bottle, use that towel until it has a hole in it even if the colour is faded, that kind of thing.

Thus far, this probably just sounds like simple austerity measures and that’s true but you’d be surprised how many people find this hard to do whether in the short or long term.

The third category, entertainment, is where you really see some benefits during the process that don’t just involve your bank account. Entertainment during grey mode focuses on one thing: enjoying what we already have. Never finished that video game? Well now you have the time. How about that blu-ray you bought years ago, watched once, and forgot most of? What about that book you really enjoyed? That board game that was fun but you only played once? The list goes on. If you’re anything like my family your house contains untold entertainment treasures waiting to be enjoyed more fully than before. Sure, you could spend $10 on another new blu-ray but will you ever fully get all the enjoyment or value out of that if you watch it once and forget about it? Your entertainment collection was built by you, you’re going to enjoy it and you’ll very likely be quite surprised by how much.

And then once that injury is healed, new job found, or debt paid off and grey mode ends you’ll more fully appreciate it when you can spend money more freely again and you’ll still realize further savings from those bulk purchases. And maybe if you’re very lucky you’ll be able to experience the opposite of grey mode – gopher mode.

Blogger's Note: The Mario Marathon starts in just over two days. Please consider donating through my blog to raise money for children's hospitals around the globe.

Summer Fun (without breaking the bank)

2013-06-17T23:07:00.000-07:00

"Summertime is finally here
That old ballpark, man, is back in gear
Out on 49
Man I can see the lights

School's out and the nights roll in
Man, just like a long lost friend
You ain't seen in a while
And can't help but smile..." - Summertime, Kenny Chesney

In my last post, I asked readers to provide me with some suggestions on what to write about next. While the requests didn't exactly come flooding in (I got all of one, haha!), the request I did get is well in my list of interests that I didn't waste any time getting to it.

The requested topic is <drum roll> (pause for dramatic emphasis) </drum roll>:

Free or cost effective activities to do with your kids during the summer.

With my kiddo (who will be referred to as Mini Moo from here on out) starting summer vacation soon, and my family currently in grey mode* I'm all about having a fun, skint season. Mini Moo has a 9 week summer break, so I figured I'd list off 45 things (5 activities per week for 9 weeks) that we'll have fun attempting to do over the next couple of months. Here goes:

Pack a picnic. Take it with you to the park, have it in your backyard, or suprise a loved one during their lunch break and bring the picnic to them.
Teach your kiddos to ride a bike (if they don't already know how to ride a bike. If/when they know how, go bike riding)
Camp in your backyard, or inside on rainy days.
Create a treasure hunt for the kiddos. Do it on your own property or around town.
Water fight!! Who doesn't love a great water fight? I've been wanted to make sponge bombs for ages, so this is happening this year. If you don't have these, or want to make them, bring out your water guns, water balloons, or simply grap some empty, cleaned out plastic containers and use those.
Board games are big deal in our house. This is an ideal way to play on those rainy days.
Go swimming. See if there's a free outdoor pool nearby, and go there. If there isn't a free one, there's bound to be one that's not too expensive, or just fill up the kiddie pool (if you have one) early in the morning so that the water's not too cold by mid morning, early afternoon.
Make your own tie dye tshirt. Or, if you're not into the tie dye look, design a tshirt however you want to. Again, a good indoor, rainy day activity.
Learn a new word every day. Open a children's dictionary, then have your kiddo close their eyes and point to a word. That word becomes the word of the day. Encourage her to use the word as many times as she can.
Have a dance party. Turn on the tunes, and dance to your hearts content. This is something that can be both indoors or outdoors. If you decide to have an outdoor dance party, I would recommend making a cool-off necklace to ward off the summer heat.
Visit a fire department. Most fire hourses will have an open house at least once throughout the summer. Your kiddos will love being able to climb all over the engines and talking to real live heroes.
Build a fort. Indoor or outdoor, this is a classic kid friendly activity.
Take an "alphabet tour". With camera(s) and journals in hand, go to the park, local attraction, or mall and begin with the letter A(Apple store), B (bakery), C (City Hall), etc. When you're done your kiddo has a personal and creative alphabet memory book.
Take a nature walk. take along a journal, bring a camera, then go home, identify everything your photographed, create a nature book.
Go hiking (tie this in with a nature walk if you want, or do this seperate to the walk)
Check out free days at your local museums.
Go to the beach.
Check out your local hardware store - they offer free kids club building projects.
Cook with your kids, but let them plan it, be a part of the shopping, table setting - make dessert!
Go fly a kite.
Play jacks.
Go to a neighbourhood festival.
Blow up Diet coke with mentos.
Make sillouettes.
Gather friends and have a "clean" the park day - celebrate your good deed with a picnic and play time.
Make school related activities fun - create your own matching cards. Use maccaroni for math reinforcement, make a clock with a paper plate, help with geometry by giving building tasks, etc.
Have a pajama day, enjoy movies and popcorn (great for a rainy day).
Play tennis, soccer, kickball, football, etc.
Write a short novel with your child, taking turns writing a chapter (for the older kids).
Master the jump rope. My kidlet is not proficient with the jump rope, I think we'll be working on that a bit this summer.
Pick your own fruit (berries, cherries, apples, etc). We live close to a very rural area where we canpick our own fruit for very little money. Locally sourced food, ftw!
Have a puzzle race. Use 100-piece puzzles and see who finishes first. I can tell you right now, my kidlet is winning this race.
Host the kids' friends for a sleepover. And the maybe your kids will be invited next, giving you a free evening
Take road trip to a nearby city. Spend the night if you can or just make it a day trip.
Go to the drive-in. If there isn't one nearby, look for one near your vacation spot. Every kid should go to the drive-in at least once!
Find a free concert near you.
Make paper airplanes. See whose goes the farthest.
Climb trees together. Of course, only if the kids are big enough, and you are brave enough.
Play croquet on the lawn. And try bocci too.
Go to a matinee. Find a bargain movie houses and pay less.
Make a lemonade stand (some cities have by-laws about this, so investigate this idea before you present it to your kid(s))
Race your Hotwheels
Blow bubbles. Have some creative bubble play outside, like making rainbow bubble snakes
Make some sidewalk chalk paint, and go paint your sidewalk. Mix equal parts cornstarch and water, and add generous amounts of food colouring. This is dirty play, so make sure your kiddos aren't wearing their Sunday bests.
Go to a parade. No matter where you live in the world, there's bound to be a parade of some sort during the summer months. See what's happening around town, and talk to your kiddos about what they want to go to.

I'm going to make it my mission to check off at least a dozen things off this list before school starts in fall. I know, mom of the year award won't be going to me for aspiring for such an uninspiring goal, but hey, at least I'm talking to my kid, right?

I'll report back to you in September to let you know which activities we did, and what I'll be adding to/removing from the list. If you have any ideas, please do let me know. If you want me to write about something else, shoot a comment my way, and I'll see about writing it as soon as I get the chance.

Have a great summer everyone, and don't forget, the Mario Marathon starts June 21st at 11 am (EST). Tune in, donate, and support the chil'ns!

* For those who don't know us personally, you're probably unaware of this phrase. My partner will be writing another post explaining this paradigm at some point. Stay tuned!

Road Trip Travel Tips

2013-06-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

My family and I love traveling and between us have driven across most of Canada and America. It's been a long time since I've posted anything (sorry! It's been a hectic 5 months or so) but my partner has been amazing enough to write something for me. He's basically a young Rick Steves when it comes to traveling, so pay attention.

These days advice about how to have a good roadtrip seems to revolve around what apps you have on your phone, I would like to provide something a bit more substantial to those of you planning to hit the road...

In-car Entertainment: Don't rely on a cell phone app that may require data coverage or drain your battery, bring a broad selection of mp3s and give everyone unlimited vetos - peace and enjoyment restored reliably. Bring a video game for the kid but just one game so it can be used as needed but not be a focus for the entire trip.

Shotgun Responsibilities: The person riding shotgun should operate and interpret the GPS and provide snacks to the driver upon request, also helping out with changing music and finding sunglasses and whatnot - this makes for a safer, happier drive.

Don't Fear The Stop: Don't hate on the guy who needs a bathroom break, this is a chance to dump garbage, refuel, clean the windows, stretch your legs, resupply, etc. It's an opportunity for all or a frustration for most depending on how you look at it.

Be Flexible: Unexpected stops, missed exits, and things spotted along the way can lead to great discoveries and experiences - keep your itinerary flexible and don't fall in love with an idea to the exclusion of others.

Be Prepared: Don't plan every meal but bring information on major restaurants near every hotel stay. Provide everyone options and give everyone a chance to express their opinion. Superior information makes for a superior experience.

If you want more posts like this, or more posts "ghost written" by my partner, please comment on this post and I will accommodate as best as I can.

Over the next week or so I will have some more content on here as the Mario Marathon is starting again on June 21st. My donation widget is on the right; it would be awesome if you could donate. Those of you who know me and my blog know that I'm a huge supporter of Mario Marathon and Child's Play Charity. Those of you who aren't familiar with me and my blog, there are a number of posts explaining what both are all about and why I go on and on about them. The labels associated with this post will direct you to those posts.

See you all soon!

Her Unfull Arms

2012-11-19T17:31:00.001-08:00

Her arms are loaded down - overflowing - bare

But will they every be full?

Knowing her child won't ever be in her loving embrace?

A mother's arms provide love - comfort - strength

Her child is now somewhere else - gone - taken

Dead

Love a mother when she hugs you

With her unfull arms.

My Pinto Plan

2012-10-25T17:11:00.001-07:00

Lamborghini Driver Can't Afford Ticket - Car Impounded

Have I ever told you about my Pinto Plan?

About ten years ago, I was riding in a car (a 1984 Toyota Celica that had a very temperamental clutch) with a friend of mine when someone drove past us, weaving in and out of traffic at dangerous speeds, with an “L” on the back of his car (for those not in BC, an “L” sign displayed in the back of your car indicates that you essentially have a learner’s permit). He was driving a Spider. To say I was irked is to say a sonic boom is a little bit loud. On the spot I came up with my Pinto Plan.

I want to get a beat up junker of a car. I want it to look like the last time it received any love was right before it came off the line in 1976. The more varied in colour the panels are, the better. The duller the majority of the paint is the better. Trim, if any at all, should only be present on no more than two thirds of the car. Where the trim is missing, tiny rust holes should be in its place. I want the car to look like the VW below, only in worse looking shape. When Adam Sandler wrote Piece of Sh Car, he was thinking of this car.

I then plan to gut out the existing engine, and drop the biggest engine into the car that I can get away with. Perhaps a 1,984 cc 2 liter 4 in-line front transverse engine (apparently the engine the Jetta was rocking in The Fast and The Furious). It will be a 10 second car (NOS would be nice, but unless I plan on taking this car to Ashcroft or Mission drag strips and racing for pinks, somewhat unnecessary) . It will have a false exhaust pipe coming out the back that will look so rusty that the next strong gust of wind could cause it to completely crumble into dust. The false exhaust pipe will actually be connected to a fog machine that will be sitting in the trunk. The fog machine will have some black and blue powder in it so that to anyone walking by the car it would look like it is burning oil. Duct tape would be all over the interior of the car… and probably parts of the car outside.

Once it’s perfectly ugly and running like a dream machine, I’m going to drive up to these 16 year old kids driving their brand new Mercedes S-Class, BMW 760, or Audi A8 that they defiled with racing stickers, sound systems too bottom heavy so that all you hear is rumbling and not the actual song itself, and several ridiculous bobble head air freshener things along the dashboard and back (seriously, what the hell?) at a red light, make it clear that I intend to beat them off the line (they will laugh and laugh. Who is this ridiculous woman, thinking she can beat us off the line? Has she seen her car?), and then I will do exactly that – by a wide margin. Their jaws will hit the floor; their friends in the car with them will fail miserably at containing their howls of laughter; they will get a healthy dose of humility; in a perfect world, they will learn the importance of respecting the powerful machine they have been fortunate enough to receive and follow the rules of the road, not be a danger to the other cars on the road, not park like assholes, and turn down the bass, turn up the treble, and listen to the actual song and not the rumble.

That’s my Pinto Plan.

And the winner is...

2012-06-25T19:57:00.000-07:00

MALFUNCT!

Congratulations, Malfunct! Please DM me your shoe size and any specific things you'd like to see on your shoes and I will get started as soon as I pick up some shoes. Thanks for supporting my blog and more importantly the Mario Marathon and Child's Play Charity!

New deadline

2012-06-24T16:28:00.001-07:00

Okay, y'all! I really want to get as many donations through my blog as possible so that more money goes to the Mario Marathon for Child's Play Charity.

I have extended the deadline from 4:30 PM PST June 24, 2012 to 6:00 PM PST June 25, 2012.

Every $5 donation through my blog gets you an entry into winning a pair of custom made Mario shoes. So if you -or someone you know- really want a pair of custom made Mario themed shoes (what's your shoe size? Are there specific characters you want on there? Levels you like the best? Let me know and I will accommodate you as best I can!) but don't want to shell out upwards of $230USD for them, then donate through my blog and you may be able to get your very own pair.

Good luck to all those who enter!

Hurry!

2012-06-23T23:46:00.000-07:00

If you want to win some custom made Mario shoes, please click on the donate button that you see on the side of this post. Five dollars gets you one entry, and the contest closes at 4:30PM PST June 24th, 2012.

Hurry! Mario and Luigi need to be on your feet and the children need books and games and toys while they're in the hospital.

Contest Time!

2012-06-22T22:05:00.002-07:00

The other day, I made a pair of pretty kick butt Mario shoes for my fiance, because he's pretty kick butt himself. Also, the Mario Marathon was starting pretty soon, and he's a bit of a super fan.

Making those shoes has inspired me to see if I can further encourage my readers to donate to the Mario Marathon. Beside this post, you'll see a donation widget. For every $5 you donate to the Mario Marathon through my blog, between now and 4:30PM PST on June 24th, 2012, will be entered into a draw to win a pair of custom made Mario shoes made by me (with a little help from a friend).
The winner will be announced on Sunday and will be contacted - so it's important to leave an email address or twitter handle so that I can contact you - that day so that I can get your shoe size and mailing address. Because they are handmade, they will take a bit of time to make, but I will try to get them out to you as soon a possible.

Below are some pictures of the shoes I made my fiance, just to give you an idea as to what you will be getting. And remember, for every $5 donation you get an entry. So the more you donate, the more entries you get. All the money goes to Child's Play Charity.

So go donate!

Do it for the kids!

Do it for the shoes!

Do the Mario!

2012-06-21T23:08:00.000-07:00

Well, it's that time of year again, folks. In just under 12 hours Mario Marathon 5 starts. My fiancé is such a big fan that he's taking his first ever stay-cation so that he can watch as much of the marathon as he can. I have to work, so I won't get to watch as much as I would like, but I still plan on contributing as much as I can. For that I need your help.

On the side of this post, you'll see a widget to donate to the Mario Marathon. The money goes straight to Child's Play Charity which in turn goes towards sick kids in hospitals. Regular readers of my blog (when I regularly post, that is) have already heard my spiel about the awesomeness that is the Mario Marathon. But for those who haven't, please feel free to check this post out that really highlights why my fiance and I, and many others tune in every year to watch a buncha grown men sit around and play Super Mario Bros.

Stay tuned through out this weekend for some possible announcements from my blog and don't forget to check out the Mario Marathon!

Consider it a birthday present to me.

I Don't Understand Bullies

2012-04-11T19:30:00.000-07:00

I don't understand the motivation of bullies. Is there motivation? Is it really something a "simple" as the bullies themselves are hurting, so they're projecting the hurt onto others?

If this is the accepted reasoning behind bullying, why isn't more being done to acknowledge that and step in? Why is it that the bullying an sadistic natures of the bullies isn't truly addressed until they have killed someone - actively or passively. On that note, why is bullying (that results in death) only looked at as a minor crime, if at all?

I was watching Anderson the other day; the topic was about bullying spurred on by Jamey Rodemeyer's recent suicide. Jamey was bullied for years and finally, at only 14 years old, he reached his breaking point and hung himself from the swing set his parents got from him and his sister when he was 3 years old. His 16 year old sister found his body. His bullies were without remorse, and continued to bully him even after his death saying they were glad he was dead at a homecoming rally.

Why was he bullied? Because he was self aware enough to know, at around the age of 12, that he was gay and was open about it. Instead of being allowed to live his life, he was tormented to the point where he believe he had not alternative but to end his life. Despite the support he had from his family, and some select friends, he honestly thought it doesn't get better.

My kid is about to start school, and I sometimes really worry about how bullying will affect him. Will he be a bully? Will he be bullied? Will he take a stand against bullies? I really hope it's the latter, but I also really hope that if it's the former two, that I will be aware enough as a parent and take steps to stop him from bullying and/or protect him from the bullies. Already I know that my kid's school professes to have a pretty strong stance against bullying, and believe me when I tell you that they will hear from me if they don't.

Jamey had a right to feel safe at his school, just like my child does. His orientation shouldn't have had any affect on his ability to learn, to grow as a person, and to feel acceptance, not only from his peers at his school, but also from the faculty. Too often, when you hear of yet another heartbreaking story of a child who's committed suicide as a result of bullying, you hear of faculty members that turned a blind eye to the tormented child's struggles. Teachers and principals are reported to have told the children to just ignore their bullies. They tell the children to pretend they're straight so that the bullies will leave them alone. They go on about how awful the bullies lives are, making excuses for why the bullies behave abominably.

If a teacher/faculty member at my kid's school makes excuses for why a bully/bullies are treating him like dirt, the staff will have a holy reckoning brought down upon them the likes of which they have never seen before. If a bully creates any issues for my kid, that kid's parents are going to wish they never enrolled their child to my kid's school. They're going to wish that they actually took the time to parent their child so that this mama bear doesn't make their life suck.

Bullies and their parents will be given no quarter* from me.

That's a promise.

*Authors note: This is metaphorical, obviously.

Parenting in a Social Media Age

2012-01-31T22:40:00.000-08:00

This article is long overdue!

Last summer, I said that I would write a blog post of whatever topic (provided it didn't promote hate in any way) to whoever would make the highest bid to the Mario Marathon through my blog within a certain time frame. Someone I got to know through the marathon and Twitter won the bid, but I have been exceedingly and embarrassingly negligent in my payout. My apologies!

The topic requested is, as the post title says, about parenting in a social media age. There are plenty of ways to approach this topic and as a parent I do have a vested interest in topics such as these, especially as my kid gets older and as parents, my partner and I have to start thinking about how we are going to approach our kid's introduction/involvement in social media.

People have plenty of opinions on when they will allow their child/ren on the internet, whether or not they will supervise their internet usage, if they should get NetNanny or something to that degree, or what have you. I'm not going to go into that tonight. I don't know that there's one right or wrong way to handle that whole can of worms; I'm pretty positive there isn't. Every child is different, I figure the way a parent should approach the topic of internet usage ought to depend on the child themselves.

What I am going to talk about it using social media as a parenting tool. Just a quick qualifier, since I really only use Facebook and Twitter as social media tools, I'm really only going to speak to those two specific social media devices. I know there's Google+, Reddit, Tumblr, StumbleUpon, et al - but I don't use them, so I can't speak to them with any great "authority". So when I say social media, it's shorthand for Facebook and Twitter, mkay?

We've all heard the saying that is takes a village to raise a child, and I really think that social media has made that more true now than it has in a really long time leading up to this. It has enabled parents to build a larger network of parents who we feel comfortable enough to lean on for advice, for a sounding board, or for someone we can commiserate with. From the excitement of announcing that you're going to have/adopt a child and going through the journey of waiting for your new family member to come home, to welcoming the child home, to praying for the day they leave, you have more than just your parents, siblings who are also parents, and Mommy-and-Me friends to lean on.

Not only is your network larger (potentially), but you wind up (potentially) getting a broader range of parenting methods that you wind up being exposed to that you may not have been introduced to before social media blew into town. How many parents these days go to Facebook when their kid has some weird sounding cough, or is having issues with potty training before they go to WebMD or a clinic? I know I have on many occasions (perhaps to the chagrin of my partner on more than one occasion), and I know I will do so in the future.

Like with any form of advice, expert or otherwise, you definitely need to take it with a grain of salt. Understand that what works for your evangelical Christian, public schooling, 3 child friend is likely to be vastly different than what works for your Sikh, Khalsa schooling, 2 child friend and either may or may not work for you, you single child, pantheistic, home schooling, crunchy parent, you. The trick is to use the suggestions given to you by your friends/colleagues/family members as more of an aid to bolster your own ideas on how to deal with your kid yanking on the cat's tail (Pro Tip: Don't do what these parents did). Don't take the advice given as gospel. Even the good advice. Especially the advice that calls itself gospel.

The thing I enjoy the most about asking for/giving parenting advice on social media is that it really helps me to feel like I'm not alone; I suspect I'm not alone in this opinion either. It really goes back to the saying I mentioned earlier about it taking a village. I like that I get to share in my parenting “aha!” moments and frustrations with my friends in Maine equally with my friends here that I actually get to see. I like that we all get to watch our children grow up together, and I like that my friends in California are almost as excited as I am when my child hits some milestone in life, even though they've never actually met my kid.

That last sentence may cause some people to worry about security, and I don't entirely blame them; it's a scary world out there, and you have to be ultra vigilant as a parent. That shouldn't prevent you from seeing social media for the valuable parenting tool it is. It's also entirely possible to keep your child 100% anonymous on the internet, while still reaping the benefits of the social village parenting. I see it being done all the time. Sure, it takes a concerted effort, but it's totally doable. You can seek advice/brag about your child without giving any pertinent details except for possibly a ballparked age and still having people rallying behind you and your child. Try a gender neutral nickname and refer to your child only by that nickname and/or gender neutral pronouns. Frankly, it's probably not a bad idea even if you're not going to go all out in making your kid the next Blanket on the internet. Your kid's accomplishments ought not be determined by what's between their legs, but that's a whole different topic that I will probably talk about at a later date.

Since I'm not going to great lengths to making my kid anonymous on the internet (not on Facebook, at any rate. Here and on Twitter is a different story) I won't try to come up with tips on how to Blanket your child/ren, but I'm sure a few well thought out keywords on a Google search will lead you to a blog somewhere that talks about exactly that. Or, if you'd prefer, ask your friends on Facebook.

A Letter to Amazon.com

2011-12-29T15:26:00.000-08:00

I was checking out my Twitter feed today and I stumbled upon an article on Huffington Post that really upset me. It talked about a 2012 calendar that basically spews hatred every month of the year... and that Amazon.com stocks the calendar.

As you may know from some of my previous posts, homophobia really pisses me off so I fired off this email to the Amazon.com customer service account:

Hello,

It has today come to my attention that you are selling a 2012 calendar titled "I'm Not Gay, I'm Just a Sissy" (http://www.amazon.ca/Im-Not-Gay-Just-Sissy/dp/1466226641).

This disturbs and disgusts me deeply and I do not wish to have any association with a company that would sell a product of hatred, such as this calendar.

Please tell me that Amazon plans to remove this from their catalog and issue an apology to the LGTB community for their poor judgement in stocking this item in the first place. If this is something Amazon does not intend to do then can you please instruct me as to the steps I must take to have my registration removed from your site. I will not be making any purchases, nor directing my loved ones to the site through my wishlist to make purchases, with a company that advocates hatred and homophobia and, more disturbingly, hopes to make a dollar off of it.

Thank you,

Mindi

If you have an account with Amazon and this upsets you as much as it does me, then I encourage you to send a similar message to Amazon. Tell them, through your money, that you will not tolerate a company that hopes to make money off of intolerance.

This Christmas...

2011-11-20T13:16:00.000-08:00

This Christmas/holiday season I hereby issue a challenge:

Don't buy anything for your loved ones!

Pretty crazy, I know, but hear me out.

Today I finally got around to tackling a task I really don't like doing, which is clearing our kitchen table. It's basically a catchall for junk mail and random doodads that we don't know what to do with just yet. I avoid it as often as possible, but eventually it has to be done. Anyhow, as I was clearing out, I stumbled upon a World Vision gift catalogue. Intrigued, I put it aside while I finished my task at hand.

After finishing, I decided to thumb through the catalogue; what I saw brought me to tears. Even talking to my fiance about it 10 minutes later caused me to break down in tears, yet again. Sure, commercials can make me cry, but that's beside the point. Did you know, that for $30CAD, you can give 10 children the gift of health? For $35CAD, you can give 3 families the gift of self-reliance. Forty five dollars gives the gift of literacy, education, independence, the chance for freedom to a classroom full of children. For only $100CAD, you can give entire communities the gift of life.

So little is needed to give so much to so many people. How many of us have a wish list of things that we want for our birthdays or Christmas (or whatever gift giving celebration you participate in)? How many of us are fretting, thinking, "Oh, god! What am I going to get Mom and Dad this year?" How many of us get nauseated at the idea of having to brave yet another mall excursion to get a $50 toy for your kid, who already has a room full of toys, and who may only play with that toy a half dozen times - if even that much?

Okay yes, not actually getting anything for your kids (the ones who aren't grown, at any rate) may seem a bit harsh, but I do encourage you to think about how much you're willing to spend on everyone, and how much of an impact even a fraction of what you will spend this year will have on people who really do need our help.

How about this? Instead of not buying anyone any gifts this holiday season, consider making a donation to World Vision, or whatever organization you wish to donate to in the name of at least one person on your list. Chances are, they will be moved that someone loved them enough to save a bunch of people in their name.

PS: I have the pleasure of getting to know a person by the name of Cathy on Facebook. She has a business page called Cathy's Creations and she knows, perhaps more than most, the joy helping someone can bring. She puts a fair bit of time (I'm assuming, judging by how many packages she sends out on a weekly basis) into making beautiful bracelets (among many other things). One line of bracelets she makes are "Cause Jewelery". Proceeds from the bracelets goes to various (American) health organizations, children's charities (usually for a specific child who has to spend much of their short life fighting cancer or some other life threatening condition), or awareness efforts. She has touched many, many lives, brought joy and hope to many children and their families, and has inspired a lot of us to get off our duffs and do the same.

I've been off work for nearly 8 months now, but I'm going back soon. One of the first things I'm going to do with my first paycheque is buy a coat for the man who sits outside my local grocery store. I don't know his name, or what brought him to his current situation (though, I can't help but wonder how much he would benefit from more efforts/funding for social housing in our city) but I do know that he is kind to my son, and doesn't have a clean coat to keep him warm and dry. That's all I need to know.

I can't help but wonder if I would have been inspired to do this, had it not been for the inspiration we get from all the kind, selfless, wonderful things she does for so many people. I'm not Christian, Jewish, Muslim, Pagan or Buddhist, but truly believe that Cathy is doing something that transcends humanity.