Rupal learns to write!!

I'm Saying it Now! Because Later never comes...

2026-04-03T08:22:00.000-07:00

I attended a prayer meeting recently. Not of someone who had lived a long, life and left peacefully—but of someone just 45 who left suddenly.

There was a strange stillness in the room. Not just grief—but disbelief.

And somewhere between the prayers, the quiet conversations, and the sight of a family trying to hold themselves together, something shifted inside me.

It wasn’t just the loss that shook me.
It was the suddenness of it all.

Because when something like this happens, there is no time to think, to decide, to ask—What would he/she have wanted?
Decisions are made in a rush. By others. With love, of course—but also with uncertainty. And that thought stayed with me long after I left.

In life, we make choices about everything.

What we wear. What we eat. Where we travel. How we celebrate.

But when it comes to the one moment we won’t be around to decide… we leave it completely unspoken.

That day, I came home with an unusual thought:

What would I want, if I didn’t get the chance to say it?

And so, I’m writing it down. Not out of fear—but out of clarity.
Not because I expect anything—but because I don’t want my loved ones to ever sit in confusion, wondering. Trying their best to bid a befitting farewell!

My Last Wishes

I would want my last rites to be done the traditional Hindu way. A slow, manual cremation.
I would want my husband and my father to light the pyre together. And if my children are older than 21, they may do so too—but only if they wish. There should never be any force in something so deeply emotional.

I don’t want to leave this world dressed in white. I would want to be wrapped in something colourful—maybe pink or red. Something that reflects life, not just departure.

Afterwards, I would want my ashes to be collected and immersed in the Ganga at Rishikesh—not Haridwar. I don’t know why, but Rishikesh feels more peaceful to me. More like a goodbye I would want.

For my prayer meeting, I don’t want something quiet and heavy. I want it to be warm. Full. With food arranged for as many people as possible. I would want people to love the food I loved to eat. I think Dal Makhani, Bullets(From Ludhiana), flavours of the East and Spaghetti should def make it to the buffet. And the dessert table should put a wedding menu to shame!

It should be a space where people can come, sit, talk, remember… and maybe even smile.

I would love white flowers—especially rajnigandha. There is something about their fragrance that feels calm, almost comforting.

I don’t want silence filled with only sorrow.

Play Achyutam Keshavam… and other traditional bhajans. Let there be a sense of peace, not just loss. And if they decide to celebrate me later , don’t forget to play ‘Saturday, Saturday’.

If anyone wishes to speak about me, they should be allowed to.
And if someone is too overwhelmed to say anything, that’s perfectly okay too. No one should be forced into words when their heart is heavy.

I don’t want loud crying or scenes that make it harder for my family. Grief will be there, I know. But I would want it to be held gently, not expressed in a way that deepens the pain for those closest to me.

If my children are still young when I go, I don’t want them to witness the last rites or the burning. Let them remember me with warmth, not with that image. If they are older than 21, then the choice can be theirs. To attend and to conduct the rites.

And above everything else…
I want to be remembered as someone who was happy, easy-going, and always trying to help.
Someone who meant well. Who loved deeply.

To My People

Don’t forget me. But don’t hold on to me in sadness either. Remember me with love. Remember me as I was—someone who tried, who cared, who wanted to do everything she could for you. If you think of me, let it be with a small smile… not just tears.

We plan holidays. We plan careers. We plan birthdays and anniversaries.
Maybe it’s time we also think about the one moment we won’t be there to plan.

Not because we are afraid of it.
But because the people we leave behind who have the onus of responsibility to do the last rites deserve clarity, even in our absence.

Maybe this isn’t about death at all.

Maybe this is about bidding farewell gracefully!

Maybe this is just another way of living consciously.

The Curious Case of 13 STEMBER!

2025-09-07T03:00:00.000-07:00

There are some childhood stories that never fade away—they just grow sweeter with time. One such story from my life is how I could never pronounce September. For beginners I am born on 13th September, as a talkative kid I used to proudly declare to anyone who asked that I was born on “13 Stember.” Of course, my little tongue couldn’t get around the word, and the whole family would burst into laughter every time I announced it. Even today, ask anyone in my family what my favorite childhood word was and they’ll say: ‘Stember'. Kaju Barfi being a close second!

Even now, decades later, “Stember” is a family joke that never gets old. At weddings, festivals, or just over chai, someone or the other will say, “Arrey, our 13 Stember girl!” and the entire room erupts in laughter. My cousins would tease me endlessly—sometimes even making up fake months just to see how I’d try to pronounce them. My parents, instead of correcting me, lovingly let the joke live on. And now, it’s one of those stories that feels like a family heirloom—handed down with joy and affection.

As a child, I was the classic second daughter in a traditional Indian household—mischievous, endlessly talkative, and forever up to some prank or another. I was that kid who couldn’t sit still, who had a story ready for every occasion, and who somehow always managed to get away with trouble thanks to my chatter and charm.

I didn’t just tell stories, I performed them—with sound effects, hand gestures, and an audience that had no choice but to listen. From my mota moti joke to my toota hua gate riddles, I was the kid who didn’t just talk to people—I’d talk to walls, toys, and sometimes even plants. Someone had to listen!

Now, as I stand on the edge of turning 45, I look back and laugh at how some things never change. I may not mispronounce September anymore, but the mischief, the love for storytelling, and the childlike energy are still very much alive in me. My family still teases me that I was a free entertainment package before TVs got remote controls. Well, I'm still one without any such controls! I proudly proclaim to my cards group(of course I have one, doesn't everyone?) that I am more than just teen patti- I am the entertain they don't give royalty for!

Over the years, life has been a mix of adventures and lessons—school days filled with laughter, the ups and downs of growing up, building a family of my own, and watching my daughters grow into their unique selves. Each phase has added a layer to who I am, but the core remains that same spirited “Stember girl.”

Most of all, I feel grateful. Grateful for parents who nurtured me, for siblings who joined in the laughter, for my husband who has been my partner in every adventure, and for my daughters who keep me young at heart. My family has been the constant thread of love and support that makes every birthday feel like a celebration of us, not just me. So indebted to my roots- My Khemka and Aggarwal Family who lovingly message me on 1st September- STEMBER is here! No one has forgotten that and more! I am blessed and loved and forever in debt!

So this week, as I turn 45, I raise a toast to all the laughter-filled stories, the quirky childhood memories, and the incredible family who has stood by me. Because in the end, whether it’s 13 September or 13 Stember, the date only matters because of the people who make it special. To my family—thank you for letting me be loud, mischievous, curious, and completely myself. You gave me wings when the world only handed out labels.

Here’s to staying mischievous, staying talkative, and staying forever young at heart—even at 45!

Lets admit it- I was born in September, but honestly, Stember sounds way cooler!

From the Ghat to the Heart: Love in the Chaos of MahaKumbh

2025-01-30T22:15:00.000-08:00

Let’s be honest—when people talk about romantic trips, they imagine luxury resorts, candlelit dinners, or a beach vacay. So, when my husband and I decided to head to Mahakumbh instead of some romantic cliché, our friends were intrigued. “A pilgrimage? Seriously?” they asked. Someone even joked that it was the best way to lose your wife. Yes, seriously—and spoiler alert—it was one of the best decisions we’ve ever made for our relationship.

Picture this: millions of people chanting, the smell of incense in the air, and a river bustling with devotion and energy. Not your typical couple’s getaway, right? But that’s the magic of Mahakumbh—it strips away the frills and makes you focus on the real stuff.

The highlight? Taking that holy dip in the Ganges together. Now, I’ll admit, the water was freezing, and we spent the first few seconds squealing like kids. But as the chills subsided, something profound happened. It wasn’t just a ritual; it felt like we were washing away not just “sins” but also petty arguments, grudges, and the stress of everyday life. We came out shivering but somehow lighter—like we’d pressed the reset button on “us.”

And then there was the chaos—the crowd, the noise, the non-stop activity. You’d think it’d be exhausting (and, okay, it was a bit), but navigating it together brought out our teamwork skills like never before. Who knew holding hands so we wouldn’t get lost in the crowd could feel so romantic? Who knew when he asked me to hoodie up in the Rickshaw could be a gesture of love? Who knew when he pulled me aside as the wave of sadhus brushed by could be a moment of emotions?

In between the spiritual talks, prayers, and the magical glow of the evening aartis, we found time to reflect—not just on life but on us. We laughed at how far we’ve come, shared dreams about the future, and even sneaked in a selfie or two amid the throng of pilgrims.

The trip wasn’t about romance in any which way. It was about discovering a deeper connection—a reminder that love isn’t just built in fancy settings. Sometimes, it’s found in shared silences, unspoken support, and plunging into sacred waters together (literally and metaphorically).

We didn't need an insta worthy dinner under the stars, just a late night trip in the rickshaw to Shastri bridge was enough. We didn't need a private sunset on the beach, the rays of the rising sun on the ghats were enough. We didn't need a Gucci Bag, just the evil eye bracelet we brought back was enough. We didn't need an expensive meal, just sharing the Dominos pizza was enough. We didn't need to dress up to look attractive just the Tilak on the forehead was enough.

So, here’s my second pitch to sell the Mahakumbh to you: if you want a quirky yet transformative couple’s trip, skip the usual romantic ones. Go spiritual. Go Mahakumbh. It’s messy, chaotic, and completely unscripted—just like real love. And trust me, nothing says “I love you” quite like holding hands dodging the devotees.

Mortals go for Coldplay, Legends go to the Mahakumbh!

2025-01-22T22:56:00.000-08:00

They say, when you really want something to happen, the whole universe conspires so that your wish comes true!

And that is what happened with us! Within 4 days of the thought coming to mind, the determination became stronger and the stars got us there!

The Mahakumbh at Prayagraj is a confluence of faith, spirituality, and a sense of belonging that one cannot truly comprehend without experiencing it firsthand. As someone who had always heard of its grandeur through stories, documentaries, and folklore, I finally decided to attend this once-in-a-lifetime event.

Planning the trip was not without its challenges, but help came when we needed it most. A family member, almost like a godsend, stepped in to help with booking the train tickets and accommodation. We had been struggling to figure it all out, but their guidance made everything smooth. The train we boarded, which had been notorious for running late, surprisingly ran on time that day, almost as if the universe had aligned to make the journey seamless. To add to the serendipity, the accommodation we found was available only for that particular night, fitting the schedule perfectly.

The Vande Bharat takes you from New Delhi station to Prayagraj where the ultimate in holiness unfolds for Hindus. The city well known for the confluence of the 3 rivers - Ganga, Yamuna and the mystical Saraswati is a bustling one. Add to that the lure of the Mahakumbh and multiply it with the extreme Bhakti of Hindus worldwide and you have lakhs thronging all over.

Arriving at the venue of our accommodation, we were greeted by the sight of sprawling camps and beautifully organized accommodation areas. Our tents at the ISCKON camp in tent city were impeccably clean, comfortable, equipped with all the basic amenities one would need for a pleasant stay. It was heartening to see how the authorities had meticulously planned for the comfort of millions of visitors without compromising on cleanliness or order. The hospitality and affection of all the ISKCON volunteers was immaculate and praise worthy.

The highlight of my trip, of course, was taking the holy dip in the Triveni Sangam—the sacred confluence of the Ganga, Yamuna, and the mystical Saraswati rivers. As we walked toward the Sangam Ghat, the chants of "Har Har Gange" filled the air, and an overwhelming sense of peace washed over. The arrangements at the ghats were remarkable. Volunteers ensured a smooth flow of people, and the cleanliness was noteworthy, given the sheer scale of the gathering. We took a boat from the Ghats to the Triveni Sangam to reach the point where the 3 rivers meet. It was like a floating deck created for the holy dip during the Kumbh but well equipped with changing rooms and all possible safety measures.

From the train station at Praygraj to the sprawling tent city to the multiple bhandara pandals to the Sangam Ghat, the noise of horns blaring, the chants of Sadhus , the lakhs of people speaking at the same time, the loud speakers announcing lost and found doesn't leave you alone. But the moment you enter the icy cold holy waters, you are left with yourself.

As I stepped in the arms of the Triveni, time seemed to pause. The holy dip was not just a physical act but a deeply spiritual experience. It felt as though the water carried away not just the dirt of my body but also the burdens of my soul. Standing amidst thousands of devotees, each immersed in their own prayers and meditations, I felt a profound connection to something greater than myself. It was humbling, empowering, and incredibly moving all at once.

Apart from the spiritual experience, the Mahakumbh is also a feast for the senses. The sights of saffron-clad sadhus, the sound of conch shells, the aroma of prasad being distributed, and the colorful bazaars selling everything from rudraksha malas to sacred roli—it was an explosion of culture and devotion. The bhandaras serving food were incredible, offering delicious meals to everyone for free. One day, after enjoying a hearty meal at a bhandara, we even stumbled upon a Domino's food counter—a pleasant surprise amidst the spiritual fervor! The combination of spirituality and organization at such a massive scale was truly awe-inspiring.

As our journey came to an end, I felt a deep sense of gratitude—for the opportunity to be part of this grand spectacle, for the seamless arrangements that made the experience so smooth, and for the spiritual solace I found in the waters of the Sangam. Highly indebted to my uncle who made it possible for us and a huge shout out for the authorities who've made this possible for crores of Indians. The unsung heroes for me were the thousand of policemen, health workers, CRPF, NCC and all volunteers working tirelessly for the cause. From helping with navigation at 10 pm to the right location to sweeping the city clean at 6 am, the ecosystem cannot work without them.

The Mahakumbh is not just an event; it is a celebration of faith and humanity, a reminder of the enduring power of tradition and spirituality. If you ever get a chance to attend, I urge you to go. It’s an experience that stays with you long after you’ve left the riverbank, etched into your soul forever.

Adding some Dos and don'ts for those planning their Maha Kumbh Experience-

1. Book Train Tickets in advance as airfares are soaring high.

2. Please go with confirmed accommodation.

3. Carry face masks if staying in the tent city as it can be dusty.

4. Try to carry backpacks and not suitcases as you might have to haul them over kilometres.

5. Carry comfortable walking shoes and be prepared to walk atleast 15k steps a day.

6. Most Shivirs/Akharas have food but go prepared with snacks.

7. Most E-rickshaws were not accepting digital payments so make sure you carry multiple currency notes of all denominations.

8. Males can buy and throw swim wear/underpants for their dip at the ghats.

9. Carry all toiletries and sun screen as the sun is mighty and warm.

10. Elderly should be accompanied by a young person willing to carry their stuff and be prepared to walk.

11. Pls steer clear of babas on the roads asking for alms in exchange for blessings.

12. Get your haggling instinct out for negotiations with rickshaw pullers.

13. To avoid the morning rush, visit around 3 pm. Boats stop plying after 445 pm.

P.S The Title is just to grab eyeballs and virality. I have full respect for everyone who went for Coldplay.

From Looking Up to Looking Down: How Kids Grow, and Parents Shrink!

2025-01-06T23:21:00.000-08:00

There comes a moment in every parent's life when they realize their kids are no longer the tiny toddlers they once cradled in their arms. It sneaks up on you—one day, you're reaching down to hold their hands, and before you know it, you're craning your neck to meet their gaze. For me, this realization hit hard last year. As 2024 progressed, one of the marked achievements of the year was Me, the Mom Boss in the family being officially declared the shortest member of the family. I've had to accept that I'm no longer the towering authority figure I once was, at least in height. Instead, I find myself quite literally looking up to them, both physically and emotionally.

Growing up in the 80's I always thought that I was in the higher percentile of heights in my generation. I am 162 cms and I pride myself on being the taller ones from Gen X. But enter Gen Alpha where people about 160 cm are also considered short. Now everyone is averaging around 170 cm which makes 160+ seem slightly dwarfy. The first realisation of being short happened when my 14 year old started towering over me 2 years back. I was not able to hug her chest to chest, my head could easily curl up on her shoulder. Enter 2024 and the younger one started pulling up. Till now I felt I still had my little one to hug, hold and bully since she was the shortest. By summers, she was as tall as me. That is when the race began. The race to not being the shortest in the family. Of course, the husband was never in the race. It was a 2 player battle now! Myra would check her height weekly and soon I was officially declared the shortest.

It started subtly over the years—the time she reached my shoulder height, I chuckled and thought it was cute. But soon enough, she was at eye level. I would stand on tiptoes or wear heels in family photos to avoid looking like the shortest. The day my youngest officially surpassed my height was both amusing and emotional. And that's when they coined a name for me. I was 'CHOTU' now. And will continue to stay the same forever. Since there is no way I can gain anything now, only inches and kgs nothing on the height scale is moving for me.

Height isn't just a number; it symbolizes the passage of time. Watching your kids grow taller than you is a tangible reminder of how fast they’re growing up. It’s a bittersweet milestone that marks their journey toward independence and adulthood. And while it can be a little humbling to realize you're no longer the biggest in the family, it's also incredibly rewarding to see them grow into confident, capable individuals.

Being the 'Chotu' in the family has also given me a new perspective on parenting. It’s a reminder that authority and respect aren’t about size. It’s about the bond we share, the lessons we teach, and the love we give. I may be the shortest now, but in their eyes, I’ll always be their parent—the one who stood tall for them when they needed it the most.

Sure, there are practical challenges to being the shortest in the family—like struggling to reach the top shelf or having to ask my kids to grab things for me. But there’s also humor and joy in these moments. What earlier felt like a shy moment to ask them to reach out to the top shelves of the kitchen is now a moment of pride for me. And while they're lazy to do any chores in the house, they love to grab things that are out of my reach. I get patted on the head and joked, 'Oh, Chotu can't reach there!'

As I look up to my kids now, I realize that I’m proud of the people they’re becoming. And while I may have shrunk in comparison, my love for them continues to grow. After all, parenting isn’t about who stands the tallest—it’s about who stands by your side, no matter what. and this CHOTU is here to stay, no matter what!

Gulmarg: The Snow Queen, without its crown!

2024-01-11T21:57:00.000-08:00

I last visited Kashmir as a child with my parents when I was 8. 35 years later, with an increased vigour in me to catch the falling snow, I decided to plan a short trip to Gulmarg. Elaborate itineraries, over priced hotel rooms, Gulmarg Gandola bookings- everything was planned under the wraps. SHHHHH...I wanted to surprise the husband by taking him to the airport and telling him we're going to watch the falling snow as a pre-birthday trip. Whilst I planned and did all the bookings, I kept an eye on the Winter and Snow casts of Gulmarg and the area. Some said 9th January will see a decent flurry. I was happy and all set by Christmas.

As the year turned into 24, my two reliable weather-mans Navdeep and Shubham had already started talking about the lack of snow in the hills. I started probing more to understand if I was going to get my money's worth or no. Hours of research on accuweather and JKSki apps and inputs of the weatherman's suggested that my trip was not going to witness any fresh snow. I cajoled myself hoping that the last month's snow would be enough. Then the news articles and media coverage showing pictures of a dry and distraught Gulmarg started emerging. That is when I broke the news to the husband and asked him to take the call on cancellation . Being the baniya that he is, he was not going to let any money go waste on cancellations, so we decided to go ahead.

We landed in sunny conditions crossing the snowcapped mountains and hoped for the clouds to open their heart out to us. We layered up well as we started moving up the mountains to reach Tangmarg. The hill side from where one needed snow chained vehicles was now seeing regular sedans also climbing it. We reached Gulmarg with the sun shining bright , blue skies looking down at us. The wind was chilled and it was super cold but no sign of snow.

The Dhabas in the market were empty. The prevalent snow on the slopes was turning to ice and was slippery. There was neither the lush green that one sees in the Summers nor the powdery white that is seen in Winters. There was a light brown shade all around. The locals were hungry for tourists and snow because one led to another and vice versa. There was some snow as we went up the Gulmarg Gandola. Both the phases had some amount of snow but nothing that satiated the hunger of a tourist seeking falling snow. A maximum of 1 feet of snow at some places where one pretended to ski or sledge for the instagram reels.

But the views from the top of Pir Panjal! WOW! The Chinar and pine trees that dot the landscape. A topography I have never seen. The valley is beautiful beyond words. I assume that with snow across Gulmarg the hill town has another charm. But even without snow, the valley outclassed all sights I had ever seen. The might of the hills, the serenity of the valley and the calmness of the cottages, I fell in love with Gulmarg. It might not have been the preferred colors of green or white. I fell in love with the brown Gulmarg also.

The city needs tourists as 90% of its revenue comes from tourism. One can only enjoy the charm and warmth of the city and its people once you go there. The grandeur and the majesticity of Gulmarg can only be enjoyed with your own eyes! No photos can do any justice!

A queen without its crown is still a queen!

Gulmarg without its white is still the Snow Queen of Kashmir!

The Year That was! The year that will be!

2023-12-27T03:03:00.000-08:00

As the saying goes, " Time flies when it is good." I assume 2023 has been a good year and thats why it has whizzed past me. I was trying to list down what the year gave me and i have penned down the below.

My gains from 2023 are-

I completed my 40 countries. This was a huge boost for me, I needed to do this for myself.
I read 10 books. I know it's a very small number. But i had absolutely stopped reading after my kids were born. So i set myself a small target of 10 books to start with. I even read a few self help and business management books.
I started saying NO. I said no to a few things this year. I am still not there, but i am on my way.
I started saying YES. I started accepting myself as I am. I started loving myself as I am.
I now have a skin routine before bedtime and I am elated I started it.
I read the Bhagwad Gita.
I saw falling snow with my kids and spouse.
I started investing wisely. I managed my own investment portfolio and enjoyed doing it.

My pains from 2023 are-

I continue to let people find faults in my choices.
I wanted to cut sugar from my life but I am too sweet to do it.
I should've worked more and with extra passion which I didn't.
I was not charitable at all.
I fell sick too often with viral.
I didn't visit Kedarnath like I intended to.
I didn't appreciate my spouse and kids as much as I should've.

What I want to do in 2024-

See atleast 1 wonder of the world.
Visit Kedarnath or Vaishno Devi Temple.
Spend quality time with the kids and spouse.
Reduce screen(mobile) to not more than 30 minutes post work.
Cut down on sugar and alcohol.
Take a holiday without any guilt.
Increase my investment portfolio by 2X
Visit a Dark Sky Reserve and see the Milky Way.
Watch more live plays than movies in theatres.
Eat before sunset atleast 3 times a week.
Learn to Meditate.
Say I Love You and I am thankful.

I don't know why all my to-do's start with travel and end with being mindful. Maybe that is what is the purpose of my life. I was intended to be a nomad but I realised I couldn't survive alone. I was supposed to be a traveller, but i can't do it as a loner. I hope I am able to keep my 2024 goals alive. I am not pledging to lose weight(though i should). I have simple wants and I am going to fulfil them in my simple way.

2023- You've been kind!

2024- Pls be kinder and happier!

Rupal

3 Years Late but We Did it!

2023-06-08T23:41:00.005-07:00

On 5th June 2023, I set foot in the Czech Republic which marked the completion of my 40 countries. A goal I had set for myself 5 years back- To have travelled 40 before I turned 40 in September 2020. Covid came, stayed, wrecked havoc and left me mentally weak to not have the courage to complete my goal. I fell short by 3 countries when the world closed down in March 2020. My 40th birthday came and went, my family did everything they could to celebrate! Everything around my 40th birthday celebration centred around my dream of 40.

But anytime I would hear the number 40, something inside hurt. To everyone else, it was just a number- To me it was a failed dream! When the world opened in 2022 and travel started, I was scared of something I loved. With 2 bouts of bad covid, I now feared the foreign lands and the unchartered territories. I wanted to fulfil my dream but didn't know how to start back. 2023 started off on a different note and I found the same rigour that I felt in 2018 and 2019. Finally, after a lot of planning Oman, Poland and Czech Republic were ticked off the Bucket List and I touched the Coveted 40- 3 years Late but Nonetheless!

Some of us live our entire lives without fulfilling a goal, some of us even without setting one. And that is why I felt extremely proud of myself when I wandered on the rustic bridges of Prague. In fact, I felt proud of all of us. It was a solo dream that turned into a united resolve. I may have dreamt to reach 40 countries but it took a lot from everyone around me to get there.

First and Foremost, the husband who gave me entire financial support; sometimes even in crunch times. In our bootstrapped start up days when we minimised our expenses, he let me spend on my travel as i wished. My kids, my mother in law, my family- everyone rallied around me to look after each other, manage the household as I travelled. My friends- who stepped out of their ways to do day trips/weekend trips with me to visit a new country. It was as if the universe was conspiring to make this happen!

My wanderlust didn't bite the dust because of all of us. Because of how everyone around me rallied and spurred me on. Some with co-travelling, some with talking, some with motivating! Everyone contributed to my goal. So much so that I felt on that fateful day of 5th June, I would cry as we crossed the German border into Czechia. But since it wasn't only my achievement, the skies opened their hearts out. It rained, poured and wouldn't stop. In that moment, my tears wouldn't come out. Someone else out there was crying for me in happiness. Someone else out there was doing fist pumps! Someone else out there was grinning cheek to cheek!

"When you want something with all your heart, you are closest to the soul of the world. That in itself is a very positive and powerful force."

You know your dream is teaching them things when the kids text you this !

And like the song goes-

🎵'Pehla ta Kudi ne Ludhiana bhi nahi tapiya si' 🎵

See you on the other side of 50 Now!

An Year of Chaos, Calamity & Credit

2021-11-11T23:05:00.004-08:00

Yes, November is too early to be summing up the year gone by. So that's not what you're about to read. This is about my 40th year gone by! A year that I had hyped and anticipated half a decade ago to be the 'best time of my life'. It was anything but...

2020 was chaotic with the calamity of Covid hitting everyone hard. I entered my 40th, 3 shy of my travel target and hoping that I will still succeed in the next 12 months before I turn 41. But life always has its own plans. A month long engagement with Covid in April/May taught me to slow down and give credit to what is there. Covid hit me hard with my entire family bearing the brunt. We all fell like domino's once the husband started showing symptoms on April 20th. The younger one's birthday on 8th May was spent quietly at home as we nursed each other. High fever, aches and pains, multiple doctor prescriptions, struggle to find medications, stress of SPO2, sleepless nights on one side and home cooked food by family, oxygen cans from friends, cakes, gifts, cards, umpteen calls and messages on another! The latter prevailed for us and we survived as a family and a unit!

In those days of suffering, in a drugged state one night, I pledged to give up alcohol. It was one of those weak moments where I felt I was a goner and had an awakening. I have kept my promise so far and not touched anything boozy ever since. I hope I let my liver gain its health back before I succumb to the social pressure. BTW, it does feel good not having a hangover after a late night of party!

My child hood bestie moved closer to home and suddenly Gurugram(with all its dust clouds) became brighter. In other news, I had my second rebirth of 2021(first was post covid) when I found myself stuck in another natural calamity. This time it was the Uttarakhand floods when me and my family found ourselves holidaying in an area which had landslides after incessant rains. I re-affirmed my pledge towards giving up alcohol in bargain for my family's life. Well, we did get back safely after a week long adventure and learnings.

To sum this up, I am because of You. Each one of you who is reading this now has contributed to me surviving the harshness of the year. Each one of you who has kept me and my family in your prayers when we had covid- this is a late but big gratitude letter to you. The credit of bringing smiles and good health back belongs to you. All of you, known or unknown, made the chaos seem charismatic once it was over. The calamity has brought me closer to so many of you out there. It's given life lessons that made me weep and friends who are for keeps!

And now, While Johnny may not walk and Gin may not hit the rock for sometime, life will go on...

It may be too early or too financially stressful but here is to a new target in life

Century before 50?

P.S Did I forget to mention that I visited Goa twice this year?

Failure isn't an option....Trying is!!

2020-07-12T22:56:00.000-07:00

A little over a year ago, I set a personal goal for myself. I had visited 31 countries as on June 2019 and I pledged to complete 40 countries before i turned 40 in September 2020. With the uphill task of 9 countries to be done in 15 months, it took so much from my family, friends and everyone who supported me. My husband supported me financially in my endeavour and my family and my kids-everyone revolved around the plan so I could make it happen for myself.

By February 2020, I had added 6 pretty nations including Montenegro, Croatia, Hungary, Albania and Bosnia and Herzegovina & Slovakia to the list. I was 3 shy of my target of 40 countries. I wanted to wrap up my target by March itself with a couple retreat planned to Jordan, Israel and Egypt. Then I wanted to celebrate my triumph with the kids during their Summer vacations by heading to 41 and beyond. And then Covid struck. But this blog post isn't only about the fact about how the pandemic has affected my plans and how disheartened I am, but also what about why I went on this path and what I have achieved.

During the last 12 months, I have been asked several times in varying tones- 'Whats the big deal about 40?', 'Why only travel goals?' 'Why do you want to do 40 countries?' 'What difference will it make if you complete 40?' BLAH BLAH....My answer to everyone would always be- "Because this is the current purpose of my life. " And my opening discourse would go on to say- "We live entire lifetimes tending to the everyday things. The getting up in the morning, the cleaning up, cooking meals, bathing, sending kids to school, going to work, eating our meals, exercising, going out with friends, sleeping.....Everything goes on, everyday. Everyone is doing the same/similar things day after day. We live...Ultimately we start existing... I wanted to start living again and not exist. I wanted excitement and enthusiasm to return. I wanted my life to have a Personal Goal."

I found myself guilty for leaving my family and kids unattended to achieve this. I found myself guilty of leaving my work for days altogether. I found myself guilty of leaving the husband incharge of not only work but also the home front. I found myself guilty of asking the elder one to look out for her younger sibling and grow up before her time. I found myself guilty of putting my pleasure first!

But what did I gain? I gained my kids respect. My kids realised the importance of goals. They understood how we need to set a goal and go all out for it. I gained so much of self esteem. A new found confidence in myself, from going to new places, doing things on my own, being alone gave me a whole new perspective to life. I gained my friends back. I had made my life so busy that I didn't have time to reconnect with my friends on a regular basis. Suddenly I had all my friends having my back. People rallied around me to push me on and help me achieve this personal goal. I gained my family's support. Little did i think that the elders in my family would understand my passion. But they did. My parents and my mother in law were my biggest cheerleaders, they sent me off each time with their blessings and looked after my nest too.

And now, exactly 2 months to my deadline, I was forced to question myself. Was it really worth it? I've spent 4 months being nowhere but home. With no travel happening for anyone, it seems I will end up with a zoom call on my 40th and with 37 countries on the passport. Some of you may still think- 'So, whats the big deal? ' Well, for me, it is. I haven't tried so hard to achieve something all my life. I haven't dreamt so much about anything else. I haven't spoken so much to everyone I know about anything but this. I have lived more in those 6 months than I did in the last 6 years. That's the kind of perspective a 'goal' gave me. It changed me on all fronts. It made me live and look forward to the next day. It made me happy. I hope I can keep the happiness intact and keep believing that it will happen.

I am happy I tried. I am happy I dreamt.

And Mr/Ms Covid- you can't take what I have achieved so far. I am down but not out.
I have 2 months and 3 countries to go.
The world will open up. The planes will start jet-setting.
The airports will bustle and I will be there when that happens!

COVID ne humhe sab kuch sikha diya

2020-05-26T00:35:00.003-07:00

Life has changed in the last 2 months to such an extent that I couldn't help but notice the habits that have banished now. I've tried to turn poetic to express myself about the bad habits that no one could change in us Indians which the powerful Pandemic has.

From traffic jams on the street to silent crossroads in a beat,
From no helmets on the bike to face shields in a spike.
COVID ne humhe sab kuch sikha diya.

From bargaining on the road side to online grocery in our stride,
From urinating on the road to toilet papers we did horde.
COVID ne humhe saaf bana diya.

From spitting paan on the wall to scrubbing them clean till they fall,
From eating with dirty hands to sanitisers, soaps & disinfectants we understand.
COVID ne humhe hygeine sikha diya.

From never queuing up in a line to social distance we define,
From not acknowledging our fellow men to tears of joy on seeing an actual human.
COVID ne humhe etiquettes sikha diya.

From turning up late at work to several zoom meetings in a quirk,
From the endless sutta smokes to 12 hour shifts and late night jokes.
COVID ne humhe hard working bana diya.

From smog and air pollution to extreme cleanliness solution,
From grey in the skies to spotting rainbows so high.
COVID ne humhe clean saans dila diya.

From honking in a scorch to chanting music on our porch,
From scratching the crotch & picking the nose to wearing washed clothes & cleaning our toes.
COVID ne humhe mannerism sikha diya.

From roadside gol gappa and chaat to baking cakes and learning art,
From a couch potato to jhadu pocha and doing the dough.
COVID ne humhe multitasker bana diya.

HOPE- Hold on for Positive Energy

2020-04-13T23:34:00.002-07:00

In the last 3 weeks, I have tried to keep my morale high. I have tried to be engaged with kids and house along with office work to keep myself calm. I have learnt a few new things in the last few days and have found peace in exercising, pranayam and doodling. But time and again, the mind tricks me and goes back to its pessimistic ways. The powerful mind wanders off to the land of negativity each moment that I free it.

But two things happened this morning that gave me rejuvenated energy to control the mind and my feelings so Lockdown 2.0 can be approached with positivity. Sharing it on my blog so that everyone who reads it can also find renewed energy and so I am also reminded daily to be positive. This morning my cleaner(part timer) came to ask for her March salary. While i gave her the money, we both sat down for a chit chat over chai. (with appropriate sanitisers, masks and social distancing). I wanted to understand how her family and those around her were faring in these times. It was surprising she hadn't asked for her salary all this while so I was curious on how they were managing.

She told me that where she and many daily workers like herself lived there was a lot of police doing the rounds. The police were not only stopping them from going out to work but also distributing food once daily. The police were even volunteering to get their rations on a weekly basis so they didn't have to step out. There was dry ration available to buy at very discounted prices, she said. Every 2-3 days, some government organisation or NGO was also coming to distribute cooked meals in their areas(house by house). She said they had enough of food and that's why she hadn't come to get her salary. She also told me that her son( in 9th class in a Kendriya Vidyala school) was having online classes. He, along with few more friends were sharing a device that someone owned and they studied during those classes together. When their classes were over, they were loaning that device to other set of students to study their online classes. She said, the only thing missing was that she was bored. She missed her daily activity of work. She in fact, requested me to allow her to resume work. I told her to hold on for two more weeks and then we shall decide. As she went back, my thoughts went out to those young slum kids who were sharing a laptop to study, to those organisations distributing food, to those policemen volunteering to get rations. This is HOPE.

As I was smiling at these thoughts, I sat back to listen to the PM's address. As he announced Lockdown 2.0 till May 3, my younger one (who is an ardent Modi fan) walked in. Oh, Modiji is talking, she screamed and started listening to his speech. As i grimaced on the fact that my work would suffer for another 3 weeks and whether we will survive this apocalypse or no, Myra jumped with joy. she had just read on the screen that the lockdown is extended till 3 May. Does that mean no lockdown on my birthday(8th may)? She asked. I think so, I replied. She started clapping and a small jig followed- Oh ye, Oh ye..she went..I had tears in my eyes. I realised how shortsighted i had been. It was just another reminder for me that Family and its happiness is everything. Money and other material things will come and go. My 7 year old had just given me HOPE in times when I was dreading another 3 weeks of being in quarantine. She had just showed me what a positive attitude can do to life. Her positivity rubbed out on all of us, we turned off the TV and high-fived her in a HOPE that we will be celebrating her birthday soon.

Hold On , Pain Ends Soon.
Lets choose HOPE!

R

Cost of Living or Cost of a Lifestyle

2020-04-04T00:14:00.003-07:00

We started our self isolation on 20th March which was the last time we had a real contact with the outside world. Post that we have fixed a routine of deliveries or grocery shopping which includes going out once every 3 days to get everything the family needs. On 20th March itself, I took out a small cross body bag which became my designated money carrier for these trips during the quarantine period. I armed it with a sanitizer, small pack of wipes and Rs 5000. Today, after a fortnight, I had to refill that money and added another Rs 2000 to it. In 14 days, my household of 5 family members and 2 domestic help had consumed things worth Rs 5000.

And we hadn't drastically cut down on anything. Yes, we were rationing and not over eating or splurging on all sorts of things but we weren't exactly deprived. We still ate 3 square meals a day, one snack of tea and biscuits and one snack of fruits. We still had salad with lunch. We still had yoghurt on our plates. We still had milk to start our day and alcohol(weekends) to end it. The meals we've had during this period have included home made pizza, chinese, pasta, burgers, grilled veggies, cake, bhel puri, papri chat, dahi bhalla, noodle soup apart from the regular Dal, Sabzi that Indian households make. All of the ingredients sourced within the starting capital of Rs 5K. And our meals couldn't be more balanced. One could almost make a science experiment of Balanced Diet based on what we are consuming daily now.

It led me to re-think on how did i manage to spend so much money in days when my life was normal. It led me to re-examine what exactly is the cost of living for my house. On last count, as per an exercise that Mohit and I do every 3 months, we needed around 50 times that amount to sustain our lifestyle. But our living apparently costed very less. Then why are we spending so much money on things that are gathering dust currently? After all, the small cross body bag is the only one getting air these days, what about the other expensive bags that I have accumulated over the years? The only shoes I am using are my sports shoes(for exercise) and a pair of slippers(during the day), what about the several pair of heels, floaters, loafers etc etc that are lying in the closet? The only clothing I am wearing are now color coded. I am wearing Blue on Monday and Friday, Red on Tuesday, Green on Wednesday, Yellow on Thursday and black on Sat and Sunday. The bottom remains a choice of 3 track bottoms or a single loose jeans that I have. What about the other clothes amongst the moths in the wardrobe? The cars haven't been used in 14 days or the Harley that i gifted to Mohit last year with my life's savings. The only wheels getting air these days is the cycles that we have.

Did we over spend making a lifestyle out of things that we've forgotten how simple living can be? Is the money that we-the bestowed class spending the cost of our lifestyle or the cost of our living. Have we inter mingled our lives with so much that we needed a catastrophe to tell us the cost of living.
We spent an entire lifetime making our current lives into a lifestyle and it took a single virus to send us back to our living. If we understated our living then thats what life would become. We don't need a lifestyle to survive, we only need to live to survive.

The cost of our lifestyles has isolated us inside our houses!
Lets go back to our living so we never have to start afresh again.

Making up for 4 Years in 4 Weeks!!

2020-03-25T20:41:00.000-07:00

Last Friday I came back from office with a revelation. I might not be returning in this building for a month, I wondered! I figured the country was headed to a shutdown and a consequent slowdown once we restart. And suddenly, as I told the kids that I wasn't going to go to work on Monday, the younger one jumped with joy and that's when reality hit. Someone's sorrow was another one's joy. What I thought was doom seemed like boom to my child. She was overjoyed that I was going to be with her for a few weeks, day and night, 24X7...

After that moment, I have had my time to introspect and look inside. I realised that I had spent the last 4 years ignoring a lot of things to build a business that probably won't survive this apocalypse. I realised I had worked so hard tirelessly to tag myself a successful startup founder which will probably not be the case after a month. I figured I had prioritised work over life, myself and family and friends while the latter is all I have now.

While me and the husband worked to pursue our dreams, we forgot what my kids wanted. They barely wanted to share their daily joys with me. They barely wanted to tell me how they made that clay wheel, how their molar is shaking, how they were made the line monitor in school, how they shared their popcorn in the bus. But most of those I wasn't listening! I was more concerned on which payments had come in, how many orders were delivered for the day, who was doing the night shift and who was doing the early morning shift and what not.

We worked and worked thinking it was for the future of our families. We worked because we thought money is what we needed to last us a lifetime. We worked assuming our kids needed a career and only money could provide the same. We worked in the belief that it was the only way to survive in this competitive world. Little did I realise that what i thought were the tiny sacrifices were the biggest things.

But it seems opportunity does knock twice. And this time it came knocking and swept me away. I was pushed in a corner with no work to do. It literally took a complete shutdown to wake me up and realise that one can spend an entire day just lying in bed cuddling one child after another. Complete dose of the last 4 years Oxytocin rolled into 4 weeks.

So I am pressing the RESET button. I don't know where life will take me after a few weeks because who knows it might be a new world order. I don't know how materialistic the world be after this pandemic and whether my business services will be just as needed as they are currently. But I know this for sure that I am going to make up for the last 4 years in these coming weeks and live my life. I am going to grab every hug, every kiss and every moment that comes my way with happiness and make it matter. I am not going to worry whether I will be starting afresh at work once this is over or not, life is giving me a second chance to live and I will happily grab it.

I don't care if I am a failed businesswoman as long as I am a successful person.
I don't care if I don't do 40 before 40 as long as I have travelled inside my family's heart.
I don't care if I can't buy that expensive bag as long as my regular cross body has money for milk and bread.
I don't care if I don't have the current model of mobile as long as there is data on the current to stream zoom and netflix.
I don't care if i don't have the latest pair of jeans as long as my tracks and tee fit.
I don't care if i don't go to eat at the new restaurant as long as we have a family cookout.
I don't care for what I didn't do as long as I have the opportunity to make things right now.

How one woman plans to travel to 10 countries in 365 days on a low budget?

2019-09-05T21:34:00.002-07:00

Now this is a follow up post on my previous travelling post which received an overwhelming response from friends and family. I was touched by the kind of motivation I received from everyone. Thoughts like 'Go for it, Rupal' and 'You can do it' to 'We gotta do it for ourselves' spurred me on. Not to miss was my mother expressing her desires to take me through this and accompany me on a trip. At the same time, I also got messages from others like myself who had hidden dreams long unexpressed. Several notes exchanged to the tune of - 'I want to do it too but...' to 'I wish to go to Europe too..' to 'What will I say at Home? .....Then the answer to it all is, the husband will bathe with wet towels for a week, the kids won't do their homework properly, the maid will cook Aloo for 7 meals...But Life Will GO ON...Sab Ho Jayega....

The biggest motivation above all was a certain friend who has planned the entire itinerary for me and spoken to me at midnight ordering me to book my tickets. Long talks telling me' 'Karenge yaar, I will take you' were the wings to the dreams. Another friend who is joining from foreign quarters leaving her nest unattended too was the final nail.

So here is the plan. I am finally going to do a few solo days and a few days of group travel with these 2 lovely girls who're willing to live my dream. The first trip is scheduled soon and will be covering the Balkans in a tryst to cover 4-5 countries. We're going to fly, drive, stay in hostels, eat cheap, local food and make it to 40 in 40. We're going to sit and worry if the kids are fine back home or if the household has been infested by ants but we're going to do this. I say 'WE' because I have realised in the past few weeks that one woman's dreams can be lived by her alone but cannot be conceptualised by her alone. It is the 'WE' that will make it all possible.

Also on the offering is an open plan to visit Cambodia and Laos(Nov/Dec 2019) and seeking active company for that. If you're the one who has never done anything for herself in the last few years, then give me a call. We shall plan to do this together. Also seeking advice from seasoned travellers on what are the best itineraries that can be done on a low budget in 2020. Budget and time will always remain the main constraints for me to complete these 40. Budget- Because I cannot use up my small family income towards only my whims and fancies. On a lighter note, my friends even suggested crowd funding for this. The proud husband absolutely shunned the idea and is funding it now. Time- Because I am not only Rupal, I am also a wife, a mother, a business owner, a daughter, a daughter in law and a home keeper. I need to ration my time and check lean periods at work, check kids holidays, check the husbands schedule etc etc. There is a whole lot of planning that has to be done before I can book the next holiday. But as my friend said- Ho jayega, Rupal. Sab Karenge!

Gratitude towards Family and Friends who will be providing much needed support in my absence.
Much Love for everyone who has motivated me in following this dream. If I ever write a book, you will have a mention. ;)

Blessed
R

To Travel Or Not to Travel: Quest to 40

2019-06-28T23:40:00.001-07:00

Around the same time, last year, I starting prepping up for Mohit's 40th Birthday. What to gift? What to do? How to make it special blah blah...During the same time, I remembered that I was going to hit 40 too. Soon if not sooner. And I did some soul searching on what I had achieved and what I wanted to do before I hit the coveted 40. One random flash in my mind and I hit upon the idea of 'Travelling to 40 countries before I turn 40.' After all, I loved to travel. So wouldn't that be a great mark to sit on when i turn 40 years of age? The idea sounded too cool.

Fast Forward to June 2019, while vacationing in Scandinavia and sitting in my 30th country. I remembered the vow I made. All the time realising that I was 15 months away from my birthday and 10 countries to do. A huge ask. A strain on budgets. A large pool of time. Something inside me told me that I needed to do this for myself. I needed to have a goal and go all out for it. The 'Ja Simran, Jee le Apni Zindagi' moment came when Mohit backed me to say , 'You have my support, Go do it!'

So here I am, with around 400 days to go and 10 countries to visit. I am planning itineraries and exploring locations I have always wanted to visit. I am shunning other expenses because I have to allocate resources for this. I am prepping the kids that I will be missing in action for a few days each month or so the next year. Last but not the least, I am preparing myself to travel solo. Because if I need to do this on a budget, I need to do it alone.

So if you are a friend or family who loves me and wishes to see me happy on my 40th, then do me a favour. Visit a new country with me. Pick up the phone and choose one of the below mentioned itinerary and say 'lets do this together'. I promise to have a good time together.

I am not a tourist but a traveller. I will explore. I might have to do some countries in a hurry, maybe less than 24 hours at one place. But I will enjoy them. I am doing it for a purpose. And the purpose is ME.

Suggested itinerary- Pls remember all holidays will be low budget. Cheap Airlines, Airbnb stays, road travel(wherever possible) etc etc...

August 15 Weekend-5 Days(Open)

Seychelles & Madagascar

September 13- Birthday Week(Penultimate 39)- 7 days(Open)
1. Denmark, Netherlands, Belgium
2. Poland, Czechia, Slovakia, Hungary

Nov 3 Week- Dad's 70th Bday Celebration(Part Family, Part Open)
1.Cambodia, Laos
2. Bhutan

March 2020- Anniversary with Husband(Sealed with a Kiss)
Jordan, Israel, Egypt

April 2020- 4-5 Days(Open)
1.Japan
2. Bhutan

June 2020- Family Vacation time(Committed)
Croatia, Slovenia, Leichtenstein
Croatia, Slovenia, Bosnia, Montenegro

'I will shame you on social media' is the new 'Tu Jaanta Nahi hain Main Kaun hoon?'

2017-10-30T03:17:00.001-07:00

As an owner of an e-gifting site, my customer service team often seeks my help in answering customer grievance emails. One of the most common problem faced by them is finding a solution to the social media mavericks who allege to 'shame you on social media'- 'write the same on blogs'- 'tell everyone online if you don't give me this'- 'give you bad reviews online'. Now all of these Instagram and Facebook prodigies whose emails we answer everyday trying to calm them down by stuffing their hoods with freebies and discounts are no less than the 'Modern Age bullies'.

Each time I read one of these emails where the conversation starts with accusations and how 'Indiagift has spoilt their life by delivering the wrong cake' or how 'Indiagift has totally ruined their day by delivering the midnight delivery bouquet at 11:57 PM' and ends with threats of social media shaming. These so called educated and savvy men and women are no less than the goons we found on Punjab, Haryana and Delhi roads who screamed- 'Tu Jaanta nahi hain Main Kaun noon? Both are feigning their high profile status albeit one in the real world and another in the online world. So heavy is our digital usage become now that our digital footprint is giving us the power to hold an online site to ransom lest they use 'online shaming'.

While I agree that Twitter and other social media channels are a very powerful tool to help a customer reach out to the company and seek redressal. But how many times has a customer used this power with responsibility? How many times has a customer gone through the official channels of communication and complaints solving before naming and shaming someone on social media? Also, when has that same repeat customer praised the same company over social media when they kept up their service promises and delivered par excellence? Has the same over vocal person been highly enthusiastic about word of mouth publicity for the same company that helped make their day? Or they just took to social media when the company had one bad day with one bad service/delivery/product.

We've had days at Indiagift when we took the informed decision to ignore customers crying foul over twitter. We didn't give explanations to the other trolls who joined hands to shame someone without knowing anything at all. We didn't tell everyone that the customer was just looking for a freebie(which they might have clearly mentioned). We didn't 'Name and Shame'. Then why is a customer so quick to put our name on the line? Why is a customer so quick to generalise 'all websites as fraud'? Why is a customer so quick to deliver social media 'threats'? For now, we have a no tolerance policy to anything that we haven't faltered on. When we faulter, we admit the fault, apologise and make amends. Even if that means losing out money on that sale. But we honestly accept and pay up.

Then why can't a website owner expect responsible customers?
When the consumer has a consumer forum which he is quick to point out as his final measure to get that freebie; wish we had a owners forum to ban repeat offender online shoppers ?

Quoting Jon Ronson, Author of 'So you've been publicly shamed'- "Social media gives voice to the voiceless people, so its a sad irony that a way to survive social media is to go back to being voiceless."

An Open Challenge to a Pervert

2017-09-10T09:07:00.002-07:00

I am talking to you, you pervert.
You who eyes my chest as I sweat it out in the gym.
Lest you forget, I can see your torn underwear when you try to touch your dirty toes.

I am talking to you, you pervert.
You who stares at my legs when i wear that nice dress.
Lest you forget, I can see your knees too when you wear shorts on casual saturdays.

I am talking to you, you pervert.
You who sizes up my backside as I walk along the road.
Lest you forget, I can see your ugly butt cleavage when you get off the car.

I am talking to you, you pervert.
You who licks his lips when I take my grocery delivery.
Lest you forget, I can see the paan stained teeth that you so try to conceal.

I am talking to you, you pervert.
You who has a chest, a butt, two legs and a face . Just Like I Do.
The only difference is yours is covered in hair and Mine.....Not covered in Fear.

Atleast not anymore!

I am talking to you, you pervert.
And I am willing to talk you out of it.
I am willing to help, I am willing to educate, I am willing to counsel.

I am talking to you, you pervert.
Because I want no perverts anymore.

Bali without the 'Balaks'

2017-04-03T06:21:00.002-07:00

Our 2 little balaks, aka our dear daughters have always been a part of our travel itinerary wherever we go. We have been less adventurous in choosing our destinations ever since the kids arrived and always pick and choose places with beaches, parks and all other things that kids like. Our travel themes have also changed from being pacey and partying to laid-back and relaxed. From the nightclubs and the pubs we have now moved to beach houses and amusement parks. From musical concerts and DJ weekends to sundowners and special brunches, travel has taken a different course.

I wouldn't say I wasn't enjoying this sort of travel style. The kids were cooperative mostly with the usual small hiccups here and there. So we had settled in a pattern of travelling where the whole holiday would revolve around a beach destination with lots of sand toys, multiple swimming costumes, several beach hats and umpteen smiles and laughs. All for that perfect family holiday. I loved it that the kids loved holidays. But something, somewhere was amiss.

It was the 'WE' that was missing from the Family Holiday. I might not be too young anymore(after all being on the other side of 35 has its disadvantages) but I still have that small romantic bone in me. I missed those couple moments where you'd drink the bubbly watching the sunset(without being disturbed for a diaper change) or you managed a early morning cuddle for that one extra minute(without being asked to feed them milk) or you drank yourself silly(without being bothered about who looks after them the next morning).

All of this coupled with the fact that we were hitting the all important milestone in our relationship- the coveted decade together fuelled my insides that were already yearning for a couple trip. I took the very difficult decision to take our first trip sans the kids in 7 years. Getting the caregivers ready(aka Dadi, Nani, Bua and Nanu) was the easiest task. Having the kids onboard(lured by a massive gift wish list) was also surprisingly easy. The toughest task was deciding where to go. Everywhere I looked(and believe you me, I did check everywhere), I saw travel spots which were either too beachy or too far off for a 4 day vacation or too familish....I aaas hell bent on doing a trip which was otherwise tough with the kids.

I set upon finalising an itinerary to see the Northern Lights though I soon realised that my limited budget for this extra bit of sudden pleasure didn't allow me that. From Finland to Norway to Seychelles to Krabi to Croatia. I travelled the world in my thoughts. Endless late nights checking midnight travel deals later, we arrived in Bali. Thanks to the lovely travel experts of gofro.com who did all the tough task of scouting through the flights and villas for me. Finally they found me the cheapest yet shortest flight to Bali with the most perfect pool villa in the most happening spot in Seminyak.

They gave me the luxury of a night flight(something I don't like with the kids) and slept like a baby through the flight. We arrived in the city with Mohit all charged up for some holiday partying and me all worried about what's going back home. A few Rose's later life started settling down in our exclusive pool villa and we were all set to party.

Party Party Party!!!!!

Without getting into any censored details, the three days and nights that followed went about in a trance. Literally! We danced the nights away to music we couldn't hum. We ate food that we hadn't tasted earlier. For a change no pasta, no pizza, no french fries! We drank liquor concoctions that we'd never had before. We slept for hours on the beach, we danced the nights away and we almost re did the vows.(well, thats another story altogether). I almost lived an entire couple lifetime in those 4 days.

While I was almost embarrassed when people asked me, 'how my second honeymoon was?', I was in two minds to genuinely give them details. I admit the first one might have been all about 'lust'(Blush...blush), this one was all about Love(Proud, Proud).

A lot of preparations and a huge amount of effort went in from our elders in holding the fort at home and I cannot thank them enough for this amazing break. My verdict on whether I recommend a vacation for couples without their kids- You bet your horses I do. (That doesn't mean I don't love my kids or don't enjoy our family vacations).

P.S Dont let my kids read this!

Reinventing the butterflies

2017-02-10T09:46:00.000-08:00

That's us ...10 Years back on the same day....

10 Years
3,652 Days
87,658 Hours
2 Kids
3 Addresses
36 Holidays
5,259,000 Minutes
Countless Hugs
Timeless Memories
Lifetime of Happiness
315,600,000 Seconds TOGETHER & Counting....

Coming SOON...

As i sit down to think about the years gone by, I am overwhelmed that someone spent 10 years with me. Soon...

Around 15 days shy of a decade of being together, I recall, reminisce and recollect everything that has transpired in the past years. From Ludhiana to Delhi to Gurgaon...From the spendthrift wife to the mother of 2 to the business partner, we've played various roles. But the part we played best was being ourselves. Letting each other be ourselves.

From rooting for CHELSEA to enjoying shopping for MAC to CAROBAR to accommodating Narendra Modi, we have done it all together. From Canary Islands to Interlaken to Kumarakom to Venice to Santorini, we have travelled the world together. From laughing to crying to shouting and screaming, we have done it all. From fighting the night out to the cold wars to the loving make up to the office arguments, we continue to do it all.

From an individual to a couple to a Family to business partners, we explore, we invent and we re-invent the relationship each day.

Too much PDA!! Well, WTH, Its 10 F...ing Years after all!

Cheers
Knock Wood
THU ....THU...THU...

The Year that Was....

2016-12-16T00:04:00.001-08:00

The 36th year of my ongoing life will soon give way to the 37th year of my life. 2016 is getting over and as I listened to free music streaming on my brand new JIO, i went into a trance thinking about what's transpired in this year. I managed to fulfil some of my goals that I set in the beginning but most remained unfulfilled...Resolutions...Humbug!

One of the short term professional goal set by me for 2016 was to hit 50 orders a day for my gifting venture. We managed to do that and more in style. But the long term goal of getting featured as a gifting couple in a magazine stays unfulfilled.

My relationship goal was to appreciate the husband more and have patience with kids. After 11 months of failing at that, I managed to get some hold on this in the fag end of 2016. I am getting there, surely and sorely...

My travel goal was to watch the sunset in Santorini and that was done.

My spiritual goal was to take my kids every sunday to the temple and teach them some chanting. Have only been able to do this half way.

Apart from that, the year had 3 big happiness quotients....

The first added vigour to my professional life. As mentioned above, Indiagift hit its first milestone of doing 50 orders a day. It was a hill we had to climb to have faith in what we are doing. Having overcome that, we are now looking at 75 as I write this.

The second and the most important event of 2016 was the arrival of Shrihaan. My youngest and cutest nephew. No offence to Ayush, Abhiraj and Yash and the other little men who make me feel like the most awesome BUA. But this newest guy is full of smiles for me and our family back home in Ludhiana. The bundle of joy to my brother and bhabhi is surely the apple of our eyes currently and definitely the high point of 2016 collectively.

The third and equally satisfying event of this year was the one regarding my inner self. It was the realisation of contentment(for the first time in my 36 years). It was a feeling of contentment within my means. It was a feeling of happiness without the artificial pleasures of the materialistic world. It was when i realised I didn't need a TUMI to travel, my North face Backpack does just as well. It was when I realised I didn't need an iPhone7 to talk, a heart to heart cuddled in the blanket did just as well. It was when I realised I didn't need that GUCCI bag for the birthday, a kindle to revive my book reading habit did much better. It was when I realised that I didn't need an expensive watch for my anniversary, hand picked flowers warmed the heart much more.

And it is a feeling that I hope stays. I wish to carry this single most thing into 2017 as my resolution.

No fake promises to loose weight..No attempts at sleeping early and rising early.... No false declarations to catch up with old friends...

But a single minded focussed attempt at carrying on with 'CONTENTMENT'.

Into 2017 and onwards!

The kind of responsibilities I want

2016-10-24T09:26:00.000-07:00

Of protecting the edge of the pencil in that box
Of getting the crayon stains off the white socks.

Of shining the polish of the shoes so bright,
Of running and catching that yellow kite,

Of wearing the fancy dress on my big day,
Of eating all the desserts from the buffet.

Of having that first dialogue in broken english,

Of tugging the rope beyond the finish.

Of playing till dark when the bugs start to bite,

Of running so hard that the stomach becomes tight.

Of playing with toy cars till the tires go screech,

Of colouring the Doll's hair an uncanny peach.

Of buttered paranthas and jalebis so sweet,
Of Nani's cake and dadi's home made treats.

Of learning to write in the cursive font,

Of reciting the hindi poem so daunt.

Of having the longest hair in the class,

Of pillow fights and rolling on the grass.

Of ballet class and swimming sessions,

Of the most colourful bandaid on all the abrasions.

Of the shoes that light when I walk,

Of secret diaries with the tiny lock.

Of the biggest star on the christmas tree,

Of playing and laughing because I am carefree.

Those are the kind of responsibilities I want.

Those are the kind of things to flaunt.

Give me my husband...

2016-10-02T09:09:00.000-07:00

I have known it for years now.
There was no hiding it from Day 1.
I hoped the obsession would go away with time.
But i hoped in despair.

I've known it all along.
Right from the time we got married in 2007.
It coincided with your 3rd term in the state.
You ruled your state in style and he became a fan.
A super one at that.

What started as mere hero worship turned into a full blown infatuation when you announced you were going to conquer the country.
He finally admitted in in February 2014 confessing ironically on Valentines day that he needed 2 months away from me. Away from family. Away from us ...To be with you. To help you win. To fight for you...
He didn't really leave home physically.
But mentally he was always with you.
He stalked you over the social media.
Preyed on everyone who belittled you.
He took pride in being called a Modified fanatic..

I would wake up at 2 AM to see that lone light in the room.
The light from his phone.
Typing away.
fighting a written duel on forums unknown...with people unnamed ....on causes unexplained..But all for you...
He tweeted like a bird...
He fought social wars with random friends of friends of friends on Facebook if they ever wrote a word against you.

Finally came the day when he woke up before anyone rose.
It was the day you smelled victory.
The malt of the most expensive kind was opened in our household.
The dance of a crazy man was danced.
The song of a hysterical heart was sung.
I hoped this was the end of it.
The love affair was over.
But all in despair.
Little did I know that this was the start of a affair that would take a turn of the most serious kind.

He celebrated your first anniversary with pride.
He shunned everyone who questioned your commitment...for him..and for the others...
On your second anniversary he was seen giving full mouthed lectures to strangers at parties...Without the effect of alcohol..
I'd often see friends' provocation to hear his tales of love.

I tried everything. I even gave up my job and started working with him.
I thought he'd lose himself in the burden of business and I'd win him back.
But you dealt the massive blow.
That was when you gave the bad men across the border a fitting reply.
He woke up to tales of Kargil.
He read post 65 war books.
He watched Pro India movies.
What started as a small affair was now an everlasting love.
Even as he would bathe he would tell me how he wished he hadn't failed in the SSB interviews.
He proclaimed he would've been in the infantry if he had.
All to be ONE with you...

that brings me to the current day.
I am not the one to give up so easily.
But I am willing to do a bargain.
I give you back the son of the land, you give me back the husband, Mr PM!

When the boss at home gets a new boss at work!

2016-08-29T08:31:00.001-07:00

Even before I thought what I was going to write in this post, I knew a zillion headlines for it.
This post could've easily read ' When love and hate collide' or 'From the bedroom to the boardroom' or 'From Partners in Crime to Partners at Work', Mad at work and madly in love' etc etc....So you've not even started reading this one but you already know what it is about.

It is eventful that I indeed decided to write this post that's been lingering on my mind for an year today when i have completed one year of working in indiagift.in with Mohit. In fact, to rephrase it, working for him. Or rather under him.... This week I complete an year since we both actively started working in our new company and started pursuing those dreams that we didn't know at that time.

Working together though not new for us, was in a different avatar for the past year. We both worked together in adda52 for more than an year. And I was often asked by my peers about how it felt being together for the most part of the day? At that time, I always thought it was thrilling. Driving together to work. Spending those 30 mins of quality time just talking about random stuff. Sneaking that quick hug in his cabin sometimes. Or blowing a random kiss through the meeting! It was all fun, exciting and new.

With our own company came the challenges of not only managing a household and the kids together but also bearing the burden of the same organisation. During our adda52 days out of our 16 awake hours, my constant crib was the continuous jabber about poker, now we can't even help but discuss the revenue excel or the attendance sheet or the investor dock all the time. It is no longer restricted to the 16 awake hours. Even in my dreams, my boss(at work) is constantly telling me to focus more and be patient.

I remember giving an interview together to some startup magazine and proudly coining the term 'Couplepreneur'. It had a quirky feeling about it then. Now while the couple part stays neglected, the entrepreneur part is surely in full swing.

During the past year, we have seen many ups and downs. Not only have we learnt to understand the other's opinion at work without even actually expressing it but we have also learnt how to bear each other for 24 hours a day. Not only have we learnt how to play good cop, bad cop at work but also switch the bosses role the moment the residence arrives. We have learnt to trust each other's instinct and respect the other's decision. We have grown as a couple, as business partners and as individuals. We have come far across in defeating the common notion that a couple can never work together. While couple goals might have been superseded by business goals, it does give me a kick to know that we have dared to go where not many tread. It's simple to trust your partner with love but difficult to trust them with money. We both have done that fantastically!

Hats off to my business partner for being one in a million and tolerating his wife's physical presence for 24 hours a day.

And hats off to me too, for letting him have his moment of glory and be the day time boss that he deserves to be!

Cheers to happier, successful and sometimes romantic times ahead!

How my 'Udta Punjab' is also 'Komal Punjab'

2016-06-22T08:37:00.003-07:00

The movie 'Udta Punjab' has attracted eyeballs both in the theatre as well as outside. While I haven't seen the movie as yet but I have seen the terrible hullaballoo around it. From the Arnab Goswami News Hour debate about the movie leaking online to the heavy police cover outside Ludhiana movie halls to the constant raving of people about the acting of Alia, there has been much said and heard about the movie.

Each time I read a review of Udta Punjab, I also read the word Punjab at least 10 times. Its dark politics, the darker deep rooted societal problems and the darkest and much highlighted(in the movie) drug issue. Whilst I know the movie isn't a head on take on defaming Punjab or the culture of my homeland of 25 years but somewhere each time i read about the movie, it saddened me. What the movie was doing for my beloved land was highlighted a big socio-political issue that needs a resolve but it somewhere also maligns the reputation of Punjab.

When i visited my parents in Ludhiana, during my week long stay, I noticed some small things about the udta punjab that i know. Thus i decided to bring forth the smaller things that my state has which perhaps goes unnoticed mostly. Punjabi, the language most widely spoken in Punjab is often mistaken as a very harsh language. I've seen Punjabi speaking people being shun due to the hoarseness of their speech. But is that really so? Is my udta punjab just such a Rough Punjab?
AU CONTRAIRE!
It is one of the most softy state of the country. I don't say so just for support for Punjab but also for things that I noticed during my trip. Where in the country do you hear a 50 year old Rohit Bal Clad Lady talk to the street urchin asking for alms like this- "Tussi Kam Kar ke Paihe Kyu Nahi kama lende PuttarJI?" Notice the PUTTARJI or dear son for those who cannot decipher the lingo.

Punjab is also one of those states in the world where every shop keeper is addressed as Veere or Brother. From the college girl coyly buying sanitary napkins at the medicine shop saying 'Veerji, ek whisper' to the taxi driver who drove us back to Gurgaon telling the toll tax collector that he doesn't have change with - "Sorry Prawa, aaj change nahi hain. Tussi de do." Punjab is Polite, vinamar, courteous and Salikedar.

The domestic helps in my Ludhiana home continue to call me 'Behenji' for as long as I remember. It doesn't make me any more LS(low society) than I already feel when i visit the now modern city. The local vegetable seller who comes in our lane for decades is not an uncle or bhaiya or simply Choudhary( as is his name I learnt this time). But he is 'Chache' for everyone. He doesn't call his shop on wheels - Chache di hatti or anything but he is addressed as Chache because it is more loving than Uncle.

When the newly married igirls n their Jimmy chop shoes and Gucci Bags bargain for their phulkari, the shop keeper doesn't call them Madam. He says, "Parjayi, tussi bade dina baad aaye ho, chai pi ke gal karde ha." PARJAYI aka Bhabhi.

So humble request to all who're watching 'Udta Punjab' from someone who has seen all her growing years in the state to be non-judgemental about the state and only focus on the issue at hand. For Punjab is not 'UDTA' it is also 'KOMAL' 'Sabhya' and everything that polite and courteous means...