Russ Peterson Jr.Russ Peterson Jr.

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

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Three Tools to Make Better Decisions

RPjr — Sun, 19 May 2019 11:02:48 +0000

We make decisions all day long. Some are simple (froot loops or cheerios?) while others can be quite complex (quit my job or stay?) Some internet sources say it could be as many as 35,000 per day, which obviously includes all the simple decisions. How can we get better at making the tough decisions without getting stuck or making poor choices?

I don’t want to make a series of poor choices that leads me down a dark path, (Is this my tie-in to Star Wars?). I discovered recently the difference between First Order and Second Order thinking.

The First Order

No, I’m not talking about the evil empire of the recent Star Wars trilogy. Although, I wonder if Lucas named his new Sith group “First Order” because of this cognitive thinking definition? It would certainly fit that group! Always thinking about immediate gratification instead of the long-term ramifications.

What is First-Order Thinking?

First-order thinking is short-term thinking. In other words, we only consider the immediate effects of any decision we make. As an example, if I eat that cake, my sweet tooth will be satisfied! Or… if I go to the gym, I’m going to be tired and have sore muscles.

First Order thinking puts us in a thinking category closest to the animals. (This is not a creation vs. evolution conversation… I’m simply stating a fact.) Animals don’t cognitively think about the future or consider strategic ramifications of their decisions. They simply make decisions to achieve short-term and immediate effects. What do I want right now and how can I get it right now?

Guess what? We do the same thing sometimes.

Second-Order Thinking Tool

In contrast, our ability to think further down the road about the derivative results spawned off of first-order decisions gives us more control over our future. This is called Second-Order Thinking. Of course, we don’t always do the best job of exercising this style of thinking.

To make better decisions we can use this tool to think about both the short-term and long-term results of the decision you’re about to make. This is heavy lifting for the brain. It pulls in multiple inputs and variables which could lead to a variety of potential outcomes. I’m reminded of the recent Avengers Infinity War movie where Dr. Strange played out one million potential outcomes in his mind and found only one good path forward where the Avengers could win.

That was some heavy-duty, second-order thinking!

But this tool creates a problem…

If you’re like me, then you love to play the second-order thinking game. It’s called speculation! My wife says if I were in the Avengers my super hero name would be “The Speculator” because I love to play out what-if scenarios. I prefer to think I’d be Dr. Strange, but I digress.

The problem we run into with second-order thinking is the tendency to overthink a situation and get caught in analysis paralysis. Sometimes we constantly play out scenarios to look at the potential results, but we never actually take action. That isn’t healthy or helpful. So how do we balance that? The second tool can help us!

The Tool to Force a Decision

Gen. Colin Powell is a retired 4-star general who served in the Persian Gulf War. He had a tool he used to make war-time decisions. His decisions had the greatest of ramifications (people’s lives were on the line) and they had to be made quickly.

To prevent himself from getting caught up in too much second-order thinking, he used a tool he called 40-70. He wouldn’t make a decision before having at least 40% of the information needed. He also didn’t wait to have all the possible information, he didn’t need more than 70%. In an imperfect world and with the constant change of the battlefield, he couldn’t afford to wait for more information.

If he had between 40 and 70% of the information needed for a decision, he felt he could make good decisions much faster than others.

We don’t need all the information and we don’t need perfect information, we just need a fair amount. Then we need the courage to make the call because we don’t have limitless time. So how do we finally pull the trigger? I present to you… the third tool.

20 Seconds of Courage Tool

In the Matt Damon movie, We Bought a Zoo, Damon’s character Benjamin moves his family to the country after losing his wife. The house also comes with a zoo. In one scene when Benjamin is talking to his son, he gives him advice on making decisions, “All you need is 20 seconds of courage… literally, 20 seconds of courage.”

Don’t be afraid to make that decision. It doesn’t take courage for a lifetime. It only takes 20 seconds of courage. All leadership requires courage, so don’t be surprised when you’re standing at the fork in the road and the followers are waiting on you to make your decision. Use your tools. You got this.

Tool 1: Did you consider the second-order ramifications of the decision?

Tool 2: Do you have between 40 and 70% of the information you need?

Tool 3: Can you muster 20 seconds of courage?

It’s time.

Have fun and enjoy the next 20 seconds.
Russ

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

The post Three Tools to Make Better Decisions first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

The 2 Secrets for Building Strong and Lasting Teams

RPjr — Sun, 05 May 2019 11:02:50 +0000

My wife and I celebrate 25 years of marriage this year. We’re taking time this year to reflect on that quarter of a century. While we’ve definitely had a few bumps along the way, they’ve been the happiest years of my life.

It’s caused me to pause and consider what makes a relationship work? Not just in marriage but in any relationship. What is the key to creating strong bonds of teamwork? How can leaders support their teams best? What does a team require to be successful?

Wise words from my customer

One customer of mine shared that he and his wife were celebrating 36 years of marriage this year. “Wow! That’s amazing. Congratulations! If I were to ask you for the secrets to a long and happy marriage, what would you give me?”

He thought for a moment and replied, “You need two things and the first is the most critical. Trust. You need to trust each other. Without trust, everything else will start to erode.” It wasn’t just simple advice… it was truth. I not only knew it, but I felt it.

Trust…

Without trust you couldn’t have love in that marriage. Not a real love that lasts as long as his has.

My wife and I just got an invitation today from another couple celebrating their 50th wedding anniversary. I have no doubt they’d agree with my customer. It all starts with a foundation of trust.

Leaders, pay attention here!

Leaders… pay attention because this isn’t a blog post about marriage. All strong relationships are built on a foundation of trust.

Build trust between the members of the team, between you and your team, and between your team and the greater organization (Sr. Management). As Stephen M. R. Covey says in his book, The Speed of Trust – The one thing that changes everything, “When trust goes up, speed goes up, and costs go down.”

Back to my customer conversation…

I thanked him for the advice and then I asked, “But what about the 2nd element you need?”

He smiled back at me and with a bit of a Jolly-Ol’-Saint-Nick type of wink he added, “Play more!”

Leaders… did you hear that one too?

Celebrate with your team. Give the team time to play. Don’t forget to join in the fun too. These aren’t rocket-science ideas here. These are simple truths to help you build a solid foundation with your team. Trust and having some fun can create highly productive and long-lasting teams built to perform!

What are you going to do this week to build trust and have fun with your team?

See you next week,

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops to help leaders put a voice to their vision. It’s about connecting with an audience and giving them what they came for.

The post The 2 Secrets for Building Strong and Lasting Teams first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

The Fable Story Template and When to Use it

RPjr — Sun, 28 Apr 2019 11:02:12 +0000

From Aesop’s fables to Jesus’ parables, we’ve heard these types of stories our whole life. The fable is both powerful and easy to implement. Here’s why you should consider using them the next time you want to focus on a truth and reinforce the core values of your corporate culture.

Fables and parables are fictional stories used to focus on a core value, a moral, or an extended metaphor to help the audience understand a situation better. Once they are able to see the truth or the core value in the fictional story, they can also see how their approach to a current business issue should be no different.

Fables are Powerful

Even with the simplest of short stories, we always look for the “why” in it. In other words, why is this important? What is the lesson to be learned here? When our minds are taken to a fictional place, we lower our inhibitions. We lower our guard.

When a leader speaks in actual stories from the workplace, it can be too close to the audience. In other words, everyone has an opinion on the event being described. If you’re in the accounting department and the story is about the sales team closing a big deal, you may feel disconnected from the importance of it, the sales team loves the story, and the marketing department feels like they should be getting some of the credit fo the win!

The power of the fable lies in the simplicity and the escape from the everyday reality. That escape allows the listener to forget the whirlwind of the real world for a moment and just focus on the deeper meaning, the moral, or the lesson to be applied.

Fables are Easy to Find

Anyone can find a fable. Why is that? Because they’re everywhere! For those people who tell us in our workshops, “But, I don’t have any stories to tell!”… there are no more excuses!

Fables can be mined from the internet with ease. Just google Aesop’s Fables and you’ll find a complete listing.

Fables are Easy to Deliver

Fables are extremely short, which is what most audiences want! There’s not much to them and they are easy to commit to memory. Fables don’t need to be memorized word for word. In fact, when told with your own words, they can be more engaging to your audience because you sound more natural.

Since they are so short and easy to imagine, they’re hard for the presenter to forget! You’ll find them easy to commit to memory and even easier to give away.

Fables are Fun

They’re fun because they give the audience permission to escape briefly from reality. It gives the audience permission to enter a world where a mouse can have a conversation with a lion. While we know this is impossible, it unleashes our creativity when we get to imagine this.

One of the keys to being an engaging speaker is to engage 3 areas of the mind, the intellect, the emotion, and the imagination. Choose the right fable and it will give you a short-cut to all three of these.

Fables Provide Truth in Simplicity

The true power of the fable lies in the truth of the message. Regardless of the animal solving the problem in the story, we can see the truth in the message. Truth transcends all.

There is something so powerful about realizing the message of the story is not simply an interesting story, a learning lesson, or an opinion… it’s a truth.

Now tie it back to the lesson…

After the fable is delivered, the leader needs to tie it back to the current business situation and what it means to the organization. If it reinforces the culture, point that out. If it provides a gentle reminder of another time when the ethics were stronger, show it. If it gives the hope of a new direction based on a strong core value, give it.

I challenge you to bring a truth into an upcoming presentation with either a parable or a fable. Engage your audience, give them permission to imagine, and bring them back to truth.

See you next week,

Let’s connect…

iSpeak teaches workshops on Professional Selling to help sales leaders gather the most important data and then use that information to create the right message. Are your sales presentations closing eyelids or deals?

The post The Fable Story Template and When to Use it first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

He is Risen!

RPjr — Sun, 21 Apr 2019 11:02:10 +0000

I’m taking a break from the Leadership Blog this week to reflect on the Easter Holiday weekend. As a Christian, this holiday is of the utmost importance to me because without Easter there would be no Christianity.

I realize not all who read my leadership blog may be Christian and I certainly hope you will understand and respect my pause for this week. We will get back to Leadership Communication next week.

Until then, have a wonderful week full of hope and joy!

See you next week.

Let’s connect…

The post He is Risen! first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How and When to Use the “David and Goliath” Story Template

RPjr — Sun, 14 Apr 2019 11:02:00 +0000

Whether you’re Jewish, Christian or neither, you’ve probably heard the Biblical story of the shepherd boy destined to become a king. David was the shepherd boy who courageously accepted the fight-to-the-death challenge from the Philistine warrior Goliath, a man twice his size. It’s a classic tale of the underdog facing the champion.

If you’ve heard this story then you already know the outcome. If you haven’t heard this story, you can probably still guess how it turned out. Our shepherd boy, armed with only a few stones and a sling, was the champion of the day when he defeated the heavily armored and weaponized giant.

According to Malcolm Gladwell, in his book David and Goliath: Underdogs, misfits, and the art of battling giants, the best way to pull off the upset is to play by a different set of rules. In other words, be unconventional.

Do we truly love underdogs?

We love any story that fits the template of this classic tale. The underdog defeats the heavily favored champion! In a 2007 study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, the researchers asked 71 participants to imagine two teams.

One was described as a strong champion, most likely to win. The other was described as the underdog. With only knowing the information of who was most favored to win, participants in the study were asked who they would rather see win. The underdog was chosen in every instance.

Or, do we just despise the most likely winners?

There’s seems to be something deep inside us that makes us want to see the underdog win. Or, according to one study by the Baylor College of Medicine, maybe we like to see winners lose because we’re envious of the teams that always win. This phenomena is called schadenfreude. Homer Simpson is a great example of someone who expresses this often.

Regardless of whether it’s a love for the unlikely hero or a joy for seeing the champions struggle, you can’t deny there’s something that attracts us all to the underdog stories. Maybe it’s that we can see ourselves as the underdog in these stories?

When to use this template in business

This type of story is used by leaders to inspire. When the team has to overcome tremendous odds to be successful, they need encouragement to press on. Leaders can use a David-and-Goliath story to give them hope and inspiration. If it’s been done in the past, we can do it now!

I’m not suggesting you tell the actual David-and-Goliath story, but instead, use it as a template to show your audience that nothing is impossible. Show them how their current situation is not impossible. It can be overcome!

How do I pick a story?

The closer your story is in relation to the actual situation they’re facing, the more impact it will have on the audience. In other words, just sharing a college basketball comeback story from March Madness may be exciting, but the audience can easily dismiss the story by saying, “Yeah, but that’s basketball! This is managed IT services we’re talking about here! It’s not the same thing.”

Try to find an underdog victory story that aligns closely with the current situation your team is facing. If it’s a tough business situation where you’d like to use the story, try to find another business story similar in scope. I recommend you use Paul Smith’s book on storytelling if your looking for stories you can use.

How do I structure the story?

The key to any David-and-Goliath story is to make sure your audience can see themselves as David. The audience needs to be invited into the story if you want to generate the feeling of encouragement and inspiration.

Give the landscape and characters for the story and do this quickly! This should also include the obvious problem (Goliath) that seems impossible to overcome.
Provide the thoughts of the underdog (David) by showcasing two things:
1. The underdog’s awareness of the challenge and the insurmountable odds he/she is facing.
2. The hope and faith to try anyway. This should point directly to the reason why it is still worth pursuing.
Describe the approach used to solve the problem. What did the underdog do to approach the problem? Remember, history has proven when the underdog wins, they tend to use unconventional methods. What is the unique approach they took? It’s important that this element be something within his/her control. Do NOT let this be a product of pure luck. If it is just a lucky break, your team can easily dismiss this as a fluke which is unlikely to occur again for them.
Describe the feeling of victory and what it meant to the team. This is the part of the story that gives the audience the deep sense of satisfaction. It should generate the feeling of a tough victory earned by fighting unconventionally to overcome amazing odds.

It’s time for you to go slay that giant and inspire your team.

Until next time,

Let’s connect…

The post How and When to Use the “David and Goliath” Story Template first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How do you Influence When You Have Limited Authority?

RPjr — Sun, 07 Apr 2019 11:02:56 +0000

When I was young we used to find adventure on the new home sites at the end of our street. A big pile of dirt would quickly become a trophy centerpiece to do battle for the reigning title of “King of the Mountain.”

If you’ve never played it before, every person tries their best to take the hill by standing on top and fighting off the onslaught of people who are now trying to push you off. It was classic fun for a group of young boys looking for a challenge.

Of course, eventually we’d either get tired of this game or someone would get hurt so we’d switch to something less aggressive, like “Follow the Leader.” We’d argue over who gets to be the leader first (usually whomever was last king of the mountain) and we’d all line up behind him. The leader would then lead us through an adventure of climbing, jumping, or swinging from something, the more dangerous the better. Both games could keep us entertained for hours.

When I look back on those children’s games now, I can see a metaphorical perspective on how each of those games portrays an approach some leaders use to influence their teams.

King of the Mountain

In this approach to business leadership, power is taken or a strong hierarchial authority is given to one person. The leader now rules the kingdom with strong methods of persuasion. The general idea is “I’m the leader and you’re not, so you have to do what I say. You don’t get to question it or tell me what to do until you get promoted above me.”

Influence of this type will usually result in teams who perform well and get things done on time. However, the turnover on the team is much higher. In other words, this leader achieves Compliance from the team or possibly… conflict. This team gets things done but they don’t always feel very positive about it.

Methods used by these leaders are heavy-handed:

Coercion – The tactics used here could easily be identified as intimidation. Knowing he is in a position of authority, he exercises his power to intimidate others into getting something done. “Why should you do it? Because it’s your job. So, quit your whining about it and just do it!”
Consequence – Using a negative term here, you would call this a threat, plain and simple. You do it or else! A manager might lean on a team to get action by telling them about the consequence of not doing it. “If you don’t get this done by Friday at 5, I’ll be forced to write you up.”
Contract – This is when someone uses a legal contract to get what they want. Contracts serve a purpose, but when you allow all goodwill to be eroded by following the letter of the law instead of the spirit, you will get your way, but at the expense of the relationship. “According to the Work for Hire Agreement we have with you, you are liable for the entire cost overrun. We won’t pay that.”

Follow the Leader

This game only works if the followers actually follow the leader. If no one follows, as John C. Maxwell says, you’re just taking a walk! When we played this game, no one was making us follow. We actually wanted to follow. If a leader gets the team to follow because they want to follow, she’s achieving a different type of result called commitment. This is where your team is getting things done and they have positive feelings about doing it.

To exercise this type of authority with your team, the leader has usually earned it. In other words, the trust, empathy, competence has earned a higher level of credibility for the leader. The team knows she cares about them and their success. The tasks are tied to a greater purpose.

Methods used by these leaders inspire long-term movement:

Inspiration – This is best done through effective narratives and storytelling. Leaders who use this method get their team to focus on the purpose and the Why for what they do.
Relational – This method of influence is based on strong ties of credibility and trust. As we all know, building a strong level of trust takes time to develop. When teams trust that a leader is honest, wants the best for them, and has a high degree of competence, the team wants to follow.
Exchange – We all work for our wages. This is the simple example of the exchange influence. On top of salary, the leaders who instill the strongest positive feelings with exchange will offer something the team values even more than money. It could be a team party, a day off from work, small token or gift, or more of the leader’s time.

As leaders, we all want commitment from our teams but we know that takes time and is not always possible. So when something needs to get done and there is no time, we may settle for compliance. But the leaders with the most successful teams know the strong positive feelings will outperform the negatively driven teams in the long run.

I’m ready to follow the leader… who’s gonna step up?

Will it be you?
Russ

Let’s connect…

The post How do you Influence When You Have Limited Authority? first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

One Crazy Solution for Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking

RPjr — Sun, 31 Mar 2019 11:02:25 +0000

His question was the most common question I get in workshops on public speaking. “How do I overcome the fear and anxiety?” He had no idea where I was about to take him with my answer. It’s a good question because most people feel something on the inside when it comes to public speaking. But the crazy thing is there’s one secret to control the fear and it’s probably not what you think.

Tools You Can Use

Sure, there are plenty of tips and tools you can use to help get those butterflies flying in formation, but the real secret lies much deeper inside all of us. If you’d rather just start with the tools, here are a few that can help:

Know your content. If you don’t know it well, go study.
Prepare and rehearse. Run through your talk a few times. We even suggest you stand in the room you will be presenting to rehearse.
Prepare for the tough questions. You’re going to get some. Speculate on the toughest questions you might get, and then rehearse your responses to them.
Arrive early. Running late for anything will increase your heart rate and anxiety level. You don’t need that today.

But, what’s the deeper solution?

I’m glad you asked. This is the more permanent solution. This is the solution that provides a true foundation to confident public speaking. The true root of overcoming fear and anxiety of public speaking is simply this… be present. That’s it. If it sounds too simple, you’re right. It is simple. But that doesn’t make it easy.

What’s the key to being present?

I’m going to ask you to stick with me and hear me out. I’m preparing you because some of you are going to read the next paragraph, roll your eyes and say, “Oh brother! Please…” right before you exit this web page. Please don’t! Stick with me until the end…

The key to being present is getting your mind and body to occupy the same space and time. The way to do that is with meditation.

I knew it! You rolled your eyes didn’t you?!

Please hear me out! I’m not talking about sitting in a lotus position, staring at a candle and burning incense in a dark room.

Do you know what mediation is? It’s one thing. That’s it. That’s the definition of mediation… one thing. To meditate you don’t clear your mind of everything. When you meditate, you clear your mind of everything except for one thing.

What’s the one thing?

It really doesn’t matter. Just focus on one thing for two minutes. If you know anyone who meditates regularly, ask them what you should focus on for two minutes and I bet they’ll tell you to start with your breathing. Just focus on your breathing for two minutes. Don’t change your breathing. Just focus on it. Notice your breathing.

For me, I usually coach people to pick one of their 5 senses and then focus on the data currently coming in through that port (you’re just like a computer!) for two minutes. My personal favorite is the sense of touch.

How I coach my leaders to meditate

I first learned this technique from my good friend and speaking coach, Paul Slattery. If I have a leader struggling with some anxiety before a presentation, I will find a quiet place for us to sit. Once he’s seated and still, I have him notice what he feels starting with the lowest touch point on his body (his foot in his shoe, pressure from the floor on the sole of his foot, etc.)

Then, we work up the body to the next touch point he can feel (one leg crossed and sitting on top of another leg). Then, move up the body to the next touch point (back of the thighs sitting on the chair). This continues until we reach the head. I have him turn his head slightly to feel it move. Then we work our way back down to the feet using the same checkpoints.

If you do this system check using your body’s sense of touch, up and down the body twice, you’ve just meditated for about 2 minutes!

Why does this work?

This is the essence of presence. The presence you project to others is rooted in your mind and body being in the same place. In other words, if your mind and body are occupying the same space and time, you’re present!

You know this is true because I’m sure you’ve had conversations with others and you can tell when their mind is someplace else. It bothers you. We want someone to be fully present when they’re communicating with us. Being fully present has benefits for both the speaker and the audience.

Before you speak, if you allow your mind to travel through space and time instead of being present, it starts to tell your brain stories and it takes you off your game.

“I remember the last time I presented to this group and they tore me up with tough questions!” (Your mind is in the past.)
“I just know they’re going to ask me a tough question and I won’t have the answer… or I’m going to forget something and lose my train of thought!” (Your mind is in the future… a false future!)

Get your head in the game!

If you played sports, my guess is your coach has dropped this one on you before. And she couldn’t have been more correct. Getting your head in the game means you bring it into the present. You get your mind to be in the same space and time as your body. That’s where your body is doing all the work right now… and it needs the brain to pull its weight too!

Be present for your audience.
It serves both you and the audience.

It’s where you live

In reality, the present is the only place you can really live. You can plan for the future and you can remember the past, but living can only take place in the present. So you might as well let your brain live a little too. Why should the body have all the fun?

Until next time,

Let’s connect…

The post One Crazy Solution for Overcoming the Fear of Public Speaking first appeared on Russ Peterson Jr..

How the Best Coaches get the Most out of Others

RPjr — Sun, 24 Mar 2019 11:02:24 +0000

It was the final minutes of a tied game and I was in my usual varsity soccer starting position of Center Fullback watching our offense crash on the opponent’s goal. That’s when the referee blew the whistle while hoisting a yellow card to the opposing team. The other team’s Center Fullback had taken a cheap shot on my forward within the 18. Our team has a chance to win with this penalty shot! That’s when I got the call…

My coach yelled from the sidelines, “Peterson! Get up there and take that kick!” As a defender, I had rare opportunities to ever score a goal. My job was to stop others from scoring! Now please understand, I wasn’t totally without offensive ball skills, but I was just a defender. My coach knew that, but he was always encouraging. He showed his belief in me that day when he called my name for this moment.

Call it nerves or inexperience, but high and to the right didn’t win the day. I was crushed and I showed it with a fist slammed into the pitch. I left the field and my coach put a hand on my shoulder, gave me tight squeeze and direct eye contact before he said, “Next time.”

My first thought was “Whatever! There won’t be a next time! Why would you ever call on me again? I’m a defender! Why wouldn’t you just call on a forward to take that shot? There won’t be a next time.”

Coaching others to reach their potential can be difficult because we find ourselves in a balancing act of how much to demand and encourage. Nancy Darling, psychologist and parenting expert, has studied the effects of demanding and supportive approaches to coaching and the results. Her work was referenced in Angela Duckworth’s book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance. The combination of the coaching demands and support can have tremendous effects on the tenacity and success of the individuals.

Demanding vs. Undemanding

I truly believe everyone performs better with a coach or trainer. Someone who can push you to give just 10% more than what you would have done on your own. Someone who will hold you accountable to a higher standard just outside your current comfort zone.

Without the discipline of commitment to reach further, you won’t improve. Remember, there’s no growth in the comfort zone and there’s no comfort in the growth zone. If you want to coach others to improve, you will need to demand change, outside their comfort zone, and they must be held accountable to that standard.

Remember “Facing the Giants” and how Coach Taylor pushed Brock to achieve more than he ever thought possible? First, Coach blindfolded Brock and asked him to put his faith in the Coach. Then Coach Taylor became the greatest encourager you could imagine. Demand more and encourage. It’s a powerful scene.

Supportive vs. Unsupportive

Demanding more from others without support can be detrimental. We all need support when we struggle or we will give up too soon. Demands without support is an authoritarian relationship, just making demands and telling them to figure it out. “Suck it up, Buttercup!”

If you are former military and flashing back to boot camp, you’ve been on the receiving end of these types of demands. But even in Navy SEAL training, some of the toughest physical, mental and psychological testing anywhere, the SEALS are taught to never go it alone. They learn the importance of supporting each other.

While they have a demanding coach wanting more from them, they find their coaching support in each other, and that’s by design. The Navy wants them to become reliant on their brothers. They are either with one buddy or a SEAL team for each part of the training. They learn how they can endure much more than they ever thought possible when they have the support of their team.

My Coach’s Encouragement…

For the next two weeks my soccer coach’s favorite two words to me at every practice were, “Next time.” I heard it so much I was determined to practice my penalty shots until I couldn’t get them wrong. Before practice or after I was taking shot after shot. I had lost faith in myself, but he believed in me.

That Friday night at our next game, our forward was slide tackled from behind within the 18 and once again the whistle blew for a penalty shot. I couldn’t help but look to the sidelines wondering if my coach was all talk or if he truly believed in me.

“Peterson! Get up there!”

This time was different. No nerves, just the same kick I’d practiced hundreds of times over the past two weeks. It wasn’t the game-winning goal, but it will always be the most memorable goal for me. It was because of a coach who wouldn’t let me stop believing in myself. He demanded much more from me in practice and he encouraged me even when I didn’t believe in myself.

As a coach, you will demand disciplined effort from others, but also give them support when they don’t feel like they can go on. It’s the coach’s job to see the potential in others even when they can’t see it in themselves. Coaches bring out the best in others through a blend of discipline and encouragement.

I challenge each of you who take up the mantle of coaching to never sacrifice on your demands but always be the first to support them when they miss the goal.

Still pushing myself to be a better coach,

Let’s connect…