Miss Ruthanne Writes

wear. (pairing neutrals & brights)

2013-10-28T12:52:00.000-07:00

outfit schmoutfit post....yeah yeah.

I woke up to 6 inches of snow this morning so obviously I had to break out my cozy sweater.

I love the fall trend of oversized and cozy sweaters right now. But I feel like if you don't do it right, they look frumpy and just not well put together. Most of the time, I think it's because it's too dull. Too many neutral tones is not always a good thing. So in an attempt to feel put together, I wore a nice(er) shirt underneath that was bright and fun. A simple front-tuck-in and some soft waves in my hair and voila. A cute, comfy, cozy outfit that isn't high maintenance, and perfect for sitting in class for two hours.

top: target

sweater: payton - thrifted

jeans - thrifted

belt - thrifted

boots - ariat

hair - all natural (hahaha)

loneliness isn't punishment

2013-10-23T06:18:00.000-07:00

As I climbed into bed last night, I started my nightly chat with God..it's kind of our thing we have. Bed time is my favorite because we sit and talk about the day and my heart and I get to let it all out.

I don't really have a best friend anymore. Not anyone who I can grab coffee with, anyway, or hit the mall with on Friday. I have a couple of girlfriends whom I've grown up with and can go months in between talking, but we often do just that, go months in between seeing each other. My three closest friends live in Washington, Texas, and Pennsylvania, and honestly, I've spent a lot of time asking God "why".

In a recent conversation with one of my pastors and talking about bitterness and letting go of grudges, he suggested that I do my very best to rekindle damaged relationships and involve myself with people. If you read my post about my relationship this summer (here) and how it was handled by the people around me, you may understand why I felt distant from my peers and the people I'm surrounded by. But here's the cold hard honest truth: I have never truly, honest to goodness, had a "real" relationship, one that dug deep and was heartfelt, with most of the girls he was encouraging me to mend things with. Some may say this is a bad thing, but I truly believe, despite whatever may come between me and them, I was never made to fit with their crowd. And this is okay.

Last night, when I was talking to God, I just kept asking Him why...why have I never felt at home with friends? Why have I never really meshed well with other girls? Why is it that more often than not, I feel lonely and lame? Fellowshipping is really hard for me, and something I have to work at. I'm a social girl, I am, but I often feel like fellowshipping turns into a game of "who can mask their problems the most" or "who can be the most transparent and make everyone else feel bad" and while I know that's not always true, it's what it looks like a lot of the time. As I'm writing this, He's still telling me "hang on."

In my loneliness, God has been teaching me patience. He's been teaching me strength. He's also been teaching me grace; to not be condemning on those who find solace in fellowship. He's reminding me that He made me different, not for punishment, but because He loves me and has something special planned for my life. Just because I don't fit here in my current stage of life, doesn't mean His plans don't include me.

I've had this feeling lately that I won't be in T-town much longer. About a month and a half ago I began purging my room of all unwanted clothing and things...because I felt this sudden urge to detach myself from anything that might hold me back if God calls me somewhere. I don't see this as an accident.

I'm not the most spiritual person in the world, and I am not well versed in theology, but I can tell you this. I am a daughter of the King. I love my Jesus. And I have a feeling something big is coming my way.

My entire life has been spent wondering what is wrong with me; why am I not invited to things; why don't I hang out with other girls; why am I different? The reason to this may be that I'm obnoxious sometimes, or that I'm a flirt at other times and just end up with boys, or that I just don't do drama...but really, these are things most girls possess. I know for a fact there isn't anything "wrong" with me - I am indeed a sinful woman and I act according to my flesh more often than not, but this doesn't make me wrong. It makes me human, and it makes me, well, me.

Above any other lesson God's been teaching me lately, is that loneliness isn't punishment. He's given me the task of bearing such a burden because he knows I'm strong and He knows my heart...He also knows my confidence in His will and my ability to persevere. And I've been feeling a certain prodding on my heart the past few weeks that tells me "something's coming, hang on."

My burden and cross to bear (one of them, anyway) is loneliness. I don't always do it well, I don't always succeed in trying to maintain joy in my "suffering". Because I won't lie and tell you I enjoy it - it's hard to feel like you're the outcast. But I do know this: there is indeed something coming. Whether it's life altering or simply a change of pace for the time being....my loneliness is not a punishment. My Jesus knows what He's doing and I plan on trusting Him to get me through. I know life won't always be fun and I won't always have company, but where I am now is simply prepping me for where I will be later.

I want to challenge you, sweet friends, to look at your burdens as blessings. Ask God the rest of this week to give you joy in carrying the heavy stuff, and to give you understanding in his sovereignty.

// a letter to moms.

2013-10-17T07:27:00.000-07:00

Dear Mamas,

In the past few months, I've been fully submerged into the real world. I was homeschooled for 12 years. I wasn't sheltered to an unhealthy extreme - but I was sheltered enough to allow my parents to have more influence on me than society would.

I don't know if you've noticed, but a large percentage of girls of the ages 15 through 23/24 these days have extremely low confidence levels. They can't cook - they can use a microwave and put a pre-made pie in the oven. They can't clean. They don't know what grace is and they certainly don't know about standards and self esteem, because most every girl you talk to, has given herself to a man already, or plans on it before marriage; some even have goals to lose their virginity before a certain age. Exceptions apply, of course, but I'm sad to say, those exceptions are a minority.

Their skinny jeans are spray painted on, and the art of bootcut jeans has almost been lost. People forgot about these things we call camisoles. Their mouths say far too many dirty words and their dresses are too short. Heaven forbid they hit mid-thigh. Their heels make them taller than the Empire State building and in their pictures on facebook, you tend to wonder why they look like ducks half the time. Oh, and did you know that kids (girls and boys) under the age of 21 consume almost 20 percent of America's alcohol sales? Super promising, for your little ladies, I know.

These are the girls of 2013. These are the girls your girls have to look up to. These are the girls setting the standards. And these are the girls, your daughters, if trends continue, will probably end up like.

Your little girls have a chance to be different, if you give it to them, mama.

Your sweet little girls may have cute little bellies and chubby little legs right now, but sooner than you think, they will get curves. They will grow taller. They will care about their hair cut. They will ask to buy the tightest skinny jeans possible. They will want to wear makeup, and whether you like it or not (especially their daddies), they will like boys.

Teach them, now, before they're overcome with hormones and disney-channel-inspired sass (translation:disrespect), that they're princesses. Teach them that they're special. Teach them to be confident in who they are. Teach them where their identity lies. Teach them that grace given by God doesn't make them perfect - it makes them a beautiful mess. Teach them it's okay to have standards. Teach them that it's okay to cry sometimes, but it's also okay to laugh. Teach them that life won't always go their way. Teach them to take joy in the little things...the little successes. Give them a reason to be beautiful - teach them about Love - teach them about Jesus. Teach them to be shameless about their love for Him.

Teach them how to be classy with a little sass and a little smartass - excuse me - because the truth is, they're going to need it. But teach them how to be sweet, too. Teach them how to be loving, and compassionate. Teach them the importance of grace. Teach them how to cook..even if you don't know very well yourself. Teach them how to iron. Teach them how to change a tire. Teach them how to make their bed. Teach them how to clean a toilet. Teach them how to do their own laundry. Teach them, mamas, how to be a good wife. Start now. Not when they're 13. Not when they're 16. Teach them now, and teach them to be joyful about it.

How do you do this, you ask? You, yourself, do it first.

Understand that your Daddy is the King of the nations- you are a princess. You are special. Be confident in who you are and seek daily to find your identity in Christ - not a spotless house and perfectly behaved children, because that will never happen. Accept the grace God gives you when you let the less than spotless house and misbehaved children devalue your worth. Your life is a beautiful, glorious mess. Have standards - don't ever let them hear you talk poorly about someone you love. Never say a bad word about their daddy in front of them. Your standards are going to be their guide - give them a good starting point. Don't be afraid to cry in front of them. Your life is a beautiful mess, remember? He uses tears to water the roses, sometimes. Laugh. A lot. When life doesn't go your way, get on your knees, and make sure they see it. Ask them if they want to join you. Celebrate the little things in your life. There is nothing wrong with making pumpkin spice pancakes on the first day of Autumn, just because. Don't be afraid to dress up sometimes and feel beautiful - but don't be afraid to rock a makeup free face with confidence, either. You're their mirror. Never stop searching for Love - never stop seeking Him. Never hold back how much you love Jesus to your children. Ever.

Rock your class. Don't be afraid to have a teensy bit of sass, and if the situation permits, dish a little smartass out too. Why, you ask? Because to be perfectly honest with you, this world is harsh, and between Jesus and a teensy bit of attitude, us ladies just might survive it. Have you stepped outside lately? Don't forget your manners though. Please, thank you, have a nice day, and for heavens sake, smile at the homeless man, and the grumpy checkout clerk at the grocery store. Be loving. Be compassionate. Be understanding. Give grace. Cook dinner for your family. Even if you're always busy - make an effort to prepare meals for your family with a smile on your face. Teach them how to iron their daddy's shirt. And then, when she gets distracted, talking to you and burns it, ask him to put it on and teach her how to change a tire. That's his job, anyway. Make your bed every morning - and ask them to do the same. A messy room looks a thousand times better even when the bed is made. Don't let your laundry pile up to inside out dirty underwear. Wash them and teach her to put them away. Clean the bathrooms in your house regularly. Show her how to help you, even if it's just emptying the trash. Be a good wife - not a perfect one. Love your husband - her daddy. Serve him even when he pisses you off with that humming thing he does while he sits on the couch after work and plays fantasy football. And start now. Not when you're 26, or 32. Now.

Where did this come from?

Easy. My heart. And my mama.

My mama did her very best to exude all of those qualities above...and I cannot tell you how thankful I am, each and every day, for the blessing of her diligence.

I will repeat an earlier statement - this world is harsh. And between Jesus and little bit of attitude, I just might survive it.

The reason though, I wanted to be so straightforward with you mamas, though, is because every single day, I meet a new young lady who is overcome with the pressures of this world. More often than not, she can't cook, she isn't confident in who she is, her face is caked with makeup, and she's sold herself to lust, not love.

I am not perfect, but I have been equipped with a lot of tools many girls never see, because their mamas are too busy thinking about #1 and they forget about the little eyes watching them.

I am confident in who I am and I'm not afraid to speak my mind. Just go through some of my past blog posts.

I'm a princess...because, Jesus and duh. (That's teenager speak for I'm a daughter of the King and look like Ariel.)

I can run a household better than most first time moms - because my mom made sure I knew that was an important part of being a woman.

I like to smile. At the guy on the corner and the lady in the store. I smile at the little girl next to me at the stoplight. I smile. Because that says a lot about someone these days. Try it.

I don't always make my bed though..and sometimes I wait a little too long to clean my bathroom or start my laundry. I blame it on the fact that I'm a nanny though, and I do that for other people all day long.

My point is, I feel so prepared for life and adulthood...wifehood and motherhood..simply because my mother instilled these things within my little heart. I remember the day she taught me to fold socks. It was after my baby sister was born - I was 6, and my poor mother was so overrun with everything. A brand new baby, a healing C-section incision, and the beginning of my dad's business...she sat down on the couch, called me over, and patiently taught me how to lay the socks together, stick my fingers inside, and flip one out over the other. It took me entirely too long to master the task...but it's stuck with me 12 years after, her patience and understanding, in teaching me a simple task that everyone should know.

So, mamas, teach them to dance in the rain. Teach them to dance in the sun. Lose the leggings and shirt that doesn't quite cover your bum...because the day they come out wearing that, the day after they get curves and legs, you're going to have a cow at how every detail of their sweet little body is revealed, and you're going to want to tell them to change...but that disney-channel-sass we talked about is going to come out and point out your outfit at that very moment. Don't let that happen. Teach them classy and cute modesty. I'm not talking Duggar extreme. But come on, buy them bermuda shorts while they still don't care.

Your little girls are the wives, mothers, aunts and best friends of tomorrow. Who you raise them to be today determines what our society looks like tomorrow. Give them the tools to succeed.

Teach them to be tougher than nails. Teach them how to be a best friend by being theirs. Teach them manners. Teach them to keep their standards high. Teach them how to use a hammer. Encourage them to play in the mud every now and then. Teach them the beauty of a pair of worn out converse. Teach them how to dress up. Teach them how to properly apply eyeliner, please. Teach them how to kill a spider. Teach them how to patch a pair of jeans. Teach them how to smile. Teach them how to live.

Teach them, mamas, and teach them well.

(my mama and I)

starting over { & p r i n t a b l e }

2013-10-15T11:29:00.001-07:00

click to open in new window. right click>save as>save>print

I whipped up this printable for you this morning. The whole thing is my handwriting. Have y'all heard of the iFont maker? It's an app for the iPad where you can create your own font - so fun. I use it all the time.

I have been having one of those morning where I just wanna go back to bed...trying to remember this verse today as I fail time and time again, over and over. Thankful for this promise!

Have a blessed day, sweet friends.

xoxo, Ruthanne

5 things sunday.

2013-10-13T10:00:00.000-07:00

5 things sunday...what the heck is this? This is when I write a post about 5 things you don't know about me. And then you go ahead and write one too, and link it up in the comments. See, it's going to be fun. I assure you.

Ready?

1.) I can't drink milk unless its ice cold. Ever.

2.) I really like Washington DC. A lot. I want to get a cute little apartment there someday.

3.) I enjoy cleaning my bathroom, like it was fun or something.

4.) If you ask me to go with you somewhere I will ask to drive...I don't care about gas..I want to drive.

5.) I hate skinny jeans. Unless you're 5'6" or taller and stick thin...they're silly. But hey, whatevs.

Boom! Now you know five things about me that you didn't before now and you can carry on your life in peace now.

Xoxo!

camping {sept 2013}

2013-10-03T07:16:00.000-07:00

Every year, we try to take a fall camping trip somewhat close by, where we can enjoy the glorious autumn weather of the area. I live in one of the most literal gorgeous places in the entire world..so we try to do our best to remind ourselves of that every now and then.

It was a great weekend full of s'mores, hiking, sleeping (I slept 22 hours in two days - more than I've gotten in a single week in a while) and family time with Papa and Mimi.

Zoey, our dog, loved being out with the family. Addy spent a good while running the campground loop the first day in her tutu. She also looked really stinkin' cute eating her lollypop in that gorgeous sun. I tried to get Jess to look at me for a picture; that didn't go over well. Laura and Addy posed for me. Rare, I must say. But they're cute, nonetheless. Jake and Addy spent some time in his hammock...he was trying to read and the poor guy was interrupted by the little bear. He's so precious with her, though. He makes her laugh like none of us can - she really truly adores him and I am so thankful (and a tad jealous) of the older brother bond she has with him. The last photo is our view the entire weekend. Yes. That. That is what we saw the whole entire time. I cannot tell you enough how amazed I am by this place I call home. Northern California is home to what I think are some of the most beautiful mountain ranges in this country - simply because they're unexpected.

And because I didn't take enough pictures with my big girl camera, here are some straight off my phone shots...none of which have been edited. at all. period.

{the drive there. i die; every single time. home.}

{in case you didn't get how truly gorgeous it is. NO EDITING}

{sorry. not.}

{adventuring with brother}

{a 360 degree pano I too using photosynth. amazing.}

{again; sorry. not.}

{typical.}

And there you have it...my weekend. Now that it's Thursday and I've procrastinated. Oh well.

Hope this post finds you well and enjoying gorgeous fall weather wherever you are!

xoxo,

Ruthanne

Snow in September

2013-09-26T14:50:00.001-07:00

(iphone photo)

Just stopping in really fast to show y'all that we have gorgeous snow-capped mountains in September.

We had our second snow yesterday...and it actually snowed first on the last day of summer! Ha. Welcome to the Sierras.

Anyway, signing off now...I should probably get back to my homework.

xoxo,

Ruthanne

don't fall off ladders

2013-09-22T09:02:00.000-07:00

Okay. So, I don't know if you knew this, but one of my names means "graceful". If you know me, this is funny.

So, this week, I'm putting up pictures on my picture wall.

I get all of them up and I just don't like the angle they're hanging. Observe.

So, it's like, super late and I'm on a sugar high from eating all the candy Kelly sent me for my birthday, so I'm all "oooh! I'll get on a ladder and move them all!!!"

I hang four rows.

No scares. No balance issues.

None.

THEN. THEN. THEN.

I'm putting the LAST nail in the wall for the final row, and what do you know? I lose my balance, fall forward on the coat rack, sending the ladder backwards and it collapses, I fall backwards with the coat rack on top of me, I land on the ladder and totally jacked up my back and all that stuff.

On the plus side, I'm okay, my wall is finished because I was pissed that it all came down with me, the coat rack and ladder, so I got back up there and put ALL of the pictures back up and that took another hour and a half.

Also, I ate all the candy Kell sent me and I won't get fat anymore. So that's good too.

And, I have a lot of great pictures to look at.

But, I digress.

Don't fall off ladders.

Just don't.

The end.

P.S.

It turned out cute, though. See?

grace. give it.

2013-09-21T23:08:00.003-07:00

Hey, people.

So, this post is going to be a little dramatic. A little detailed. Probably longer than intended. But. I have a real reason and I promise you, I'm not crazy.

So. Let's see. I'm going to preface this with: I am not throwing out names or accusing anyone. I haven't been told names about who said what, but I have an idea - but again. I genuinely don't know any details other than what my real friends have said to me about all of this. /End rant. Moving on, now.

At the beginning of the year, I started talking to a guy. He wasn't saved, and I knew it. I also knew he liked me, I drove his ex-girlfriend's car, and he was really really attractive. I blew him off for a long time, because, I knew exactly where things would go if I didn't. Then, one day, I caved. And things went there.

We started talking, a lot, flirting, a lot, and eventually, I fell for him. Hard. I still had my brains though, and I knew he wasn't saved. By the time I graduated we were dating. And I was in absolute love with this guy.

Now, this guy, when I say he wasn't saved, I also mean he has a past. He had previously dated a lot of girls and is known around town as a hell raiser. I knew this, too, and I loved him in spite of it. Maybe even more because he didn't try and deny who he was. He knew and he owned it, something I feel a lot of people in the church are incapable of. You are who you are and you shouldn't try to hide it. Good or bad, that's why Jesus died for us - to redeem us.

When he came home from college before I graduated, and we talked about how this was gonna work, I told him I wanted him to come to church with me. He understood who Jesus was and the concept, and I told him if I was going to do this we were gonna have to go to church and I wanted to see him move towards Christ with purpose. He agreed. And the only reason I asked was because I knew he wanted it. I wasn't forcing him

In this town, there are basically 3 main churches. Not really a lot of options, but I loved mine. We have 3 services - two in the morning and an evening one. The evening service is generally a younger crowd, so we planned on going to that one. Well. Here's what happened.

People found out we were together - I wasn't hiding it but I wasn't going around talking about it non stop. It's my business, not theirs. If people found out, I didn't care, but I didn't think I needed to proclaim anything. He was in my profile picture on facebook and that was enough for me. I like my privacy (which is funny because I post about my life on a blog on the internet for everyone to read...ha! Irony!)

Anyway. I knew people would talk; this was inevitable. I didn't know, though, how much condemnation I would feel. I heard from a few people that things were going around - all church people - and I instantly got a bad taste in my mouth about going to our Sunday night gathering. I knew though that we needed to go.

Around this time I also quit attending youth group; I was planning on not going after I graduated, anyway, but I didn't know how I'd phase out of that. I think it was expected that I would go into a leadership position after I was graduated and I personally was not in favor of that. I don't think it's appropriate for girls just out of high school to be mentoring girls just a year of two younger than them. I am still learning too, and I don't want to give advice that may be taken wrong or too far. I just don't think it's okay. I was asked several times when I left before the high school group started why I wasn't staying. My response frequently was "I have to help my mom." And each and every single time that was the truth, but with each time I was asked, it was more intentional and almost questioning my faith. I was irritated with the attitude that youth group made me a better Christian. I started working a lot, too, though, and I legitimately couldn't attend anymore. That's just how it worked out.

On top of not going to youth group, I had to cut back the time I spent on the worship team. I was working 40-60, sometimes even 70 hours a week. I didn't have the time. I think it was assumed that I was working too much, on top of me dating this guy, not going to youth group and not being on the worship team as much. But heres what I have to say to that: I was a nanny for some very wealthy and influential people; people who rely on money for happiness. People who's kids are generally disregarded as rich people's kids - brats, so to speak.

I was given the opportunity to love them and their kids with a judgement free love; I was able to love them like they loved their children, and that spoke volumes to these parents, I know it did, because when they found out I was a Christian, it was like a light came on. And it made sense to them, why I was different. I had the opportunity to minister to people without speaking a word about Jesus. I was able to live out the phrase "Share the gospel at all times, and when necessary, use words." Love was my way of speaking. So to those who thought I worked too much; I disagree, more than you would think. Just because my mission field wasn't typical, doesn't mean it wasn't a mission field.

So here I am, it's the middle of summer, I have a boyfriend I adore, my life has changed drastically within the past month and a half, and I feel completely shunned by the people who claimed and are supposed to be "gracious and loving" towards me. Ha. That's funny. It was assumed I was completely dropping out of church activities altogether.

I was at almost every single 8:30 am service this summer. Just because everyone else my age can't get up that early to get to church, to SEE it, doesn't mean I wasn't there. I had things to do, and I still made sure I got to church on Sunday morning. Someone commented to me that I was never at church this summer and that is a load of BS. I was there, I just wasn't there 20-30 hours a week. My bad.

Fast forward to the end of August. I've been working a ridiculous amount. The boyfriend was too. The little bit of time we got together was spent at one of our houses with our families. We didn't go out and do stupid things. We weren't sleeping together. We were rarely even alone. We simply were doing our best to see each other as much as we could before fall came and he went back to school, 11 hours away.

For reasons that don't need to be talked about here, we broke up before he left for school. It was really, really hard. It sucked, honestly. I hated it. Adjusting to him being gone AND not talking to him was harder than I thought it would be. What was even worse is that I had no one here who could comfort me and encourage me through this hard time.

Work slowed down, the families I worked for went back to their year round houses, and my time was freed up. People at church started seeing me around a little more, and I'm guessing they assumed it was because my boyfriend was gone and I was "free to be a Christian again" or something.

Everything that happened this summer happened with horrible timing, because it all looked like everything I did was related to him. Not going to church as much because my schedule didn't allow looked like it was his fault, going back to church because my schedule got freed up happened at the same time he left and we broke up.

If you know me personally, witnessed all of this this summer, and passed a judgement on me, this is what I have to say to you.

I feel judged. I feel condemned. I feel hurt. When one of the guys who was here over the summer got up in front of the church and talked about all the love and grace he felt from our church in the short time he'd been there, I felt sick. I felt none of that from any of you this summer, with the exception of our worship pastor, two of the girl interns, and a few adults in our body. You acted like it was a secret, like my relationship was satanic; like I was turning into a heathen. You assumed the worst without ever just coming out and just asking me about it. If you had asked me about him instead of how i was doing I would have happily answered and given you the low down; but the two people who asked me about it, made it sound like there was something wrong with me. Like I was somehow broken or feeding feelings and an emptiness with a boy.

The common question I was asked was "How are you doing, Ruthanne? What's going on in your heart?"

Can you see how that might come across to me as judgmental? I knew where you were going with the question, if you were one of the people who asked me. I'm not an idiot. I understood what I was doing and what I was involved with. But instead of giving me the benefit of the doubt, trying to understand and encourage me to be above reproach, the worst was assumed and I felt shunned. I have a hard time even being around most of my generation and church these days, because all that grace and love that was talked about? Yeah, that? That's only given to "good" people, I guess. People with "christian problems".

I am not broken. Jesus died and fixed me. I am a work in progress. I am not a heathen. I am not clueless. I am not oblivious to the implications of my summer relationship. I get it.

When I was catching up with a really good, really old, not-talk-for-months-and-pick-up-where-we-left-off friend this week, she said to me:

"I felt like with what I was hearing, I needed to call you and chew you out. What people were telling me was really concerning, but I know you better, and I just didn't know what to do. I know you're not an idiot. So I just prayed."

Two things.

1.) if you said anything at all about me and my relationship without talking to me about it, shame on you. You had no reason or grounds to speak of it. The fact that it was talked about enough that it could just come up in conversations and this friend heard about it more than once makes me sick. I am not your gossip magazine. You are supposedly Christians. Act as such, for crying out loud.
2.) I was really thankful that she knew me better than to call me and assume I was going nuts. She did what every single one of you should have done - she prayed, instead of talking to others about me.

So. I want to say again, I don't know any names of people who talked. I have my assumptions, but I'll keep those to myself. I'm not pointing any particular fingers, but I know someone or more than one someone talked about it because the friend I mentioned above wouldn't have heard anything if someone hadn't. Because of how this situation was handled, I have a very bitter taste in my mouth about my church and the people my age who are in it. I'm not perfect, but I do my best to not assume the worst and pry into other's business and personal lives, if I'm not invited.

Please, think twice before opening your mouth about someone else. The bible is very clear about gossip and speaking wholesome and uplifting words.

Ephesians 4:29 (ESV) says this:

Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear.

John 7:24 (ESV) says:

Do not judge by appearances, but judge with right judgment.

I think I was judged by who my boyfriend was and what he had done, not by who I was and what I had done. My heart and passion for Christ was disregarded because I was with someone who had less than I did in that area - and that's a whole other biblical discussion, but if you are going to hold me to the bible's standards, you best believe I'm going to hold you to it too.

John 8:7 (ESV) also talks about judgement. It says this:

And as they continued to ask him, he stood up and said to them, “Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her.”

James 1:26 has some pretty important things to say, too.

If anyone thinks he is religious and does not bridle his tongue but deceives his heart, this person's religion is worthless.

I wasn't expecting to fall in love so fast or hard with this boy. I went into it knowing he was hungry for a different satisfaction; he was looking for Jesus. He knew the things of this world wouldn't fulfill his desires. I had two choices: leave him hanging and possibly ruin his entire view of Christianity and Jesus, or, love him where he was at and pray God blessed that. I'm not saying my actions were biblical or right, I'm just owning them. This is what I did and why I did it. I'm not afraid to own up to it. God and I have our own talks frequently about it. I'm not hiding in my decisions.

If I could do it all over, I'd do everything the same. I got to love the "unlovable" and I had another opportunity to speak the gospel without words. Loving him gave me an avenue to love others, and I believe wholeheartedly that I made an impact on at least one person's life in the time I dated him. I don't think it was a waste of time. While my decisions and why I made them may not have been exactly what I should have done, I believe God blessed me in spite of them, and there is a lot of beauty in the ashes.

I will leave you with this.

If nothing else, when you're given the opportunity to gossip and talk poorly about someone and their actions, don't. Not only did this hurt my heart to hear how much I was talked about, but it hurt my relationship with 90% of the people who claim to be close friends and sisters and even a few brothers in Christ. Also, your judgement will not bring the person being judged closer to Christ. It will drive them away from the body and hurt you more than you think. My relationship with God is fine. I'm not any different than you; striving daily to be a light and grow closer to Him and more like Him. But I want nothing to do with the people who passed judgement on me. Lastly, don't talk about being a gracious and loving, forgiving, individual if you plan on being legalistic and condemning. You will not only drive away the Christians in you life, but you instantaneously give the lost a dozen reasons not to be like you.

Give grace. Ask before you judge. Pray before you speak. Know before you assume.

xoxo, Ruthanne

p.s. if you want to talk to me about any of this, let me know. shoot me a fb message or text, and we'll go to coffee. Whether you want to offer an apology, explanation, or just ask me about my relationship with him in more detail, let me know. I just might be up for talking, since none of that happened this summer.

I'm 18!

2013-09-18T23:10:00.000-07:00

This...this was my evening of my 18th birthday. I'm officially 18 now, you guys! Eep!

I had a bunch of friends over for s'mores and cupcakes...which I forgot to take a picture of. They were gluten free and DELICIOUS. Omg. Anyway. It was a really good 18th birthday. I am thankful for everyone who came and celebrated with me, and especially my parents for being a) cool enough to let me invite 5 girls and 20 guys (I don't have girlfriends...I invited them...no one really came! hahaha.) over and b) letting them stay til midnight when we all got tired. Hollerrrrr. Old people, we are!

I don't have too much to say about it other than I'm really blessed and thankful for the people I have in my life!

ALSO. Kelly (click the link and read her adorable blog. She's my fav. She's also one of my bestest friends and super cute. And awkward. But the cuteness makes up for that.) So. ANYWAY. Kelly. Kelly sent me the most PERFECT birthday present EVER.

If you know me even a LITTLE bit you know that this was the epitome of a "me" gift. Like fo'realz. Nail polish. Notebook. Babylips....ahh! A RAPUNZEL DOLL. Candy. Sunglasses!?! PENS. App store card! and tape! GAH. Seriously people. This was the most fun gift I've gotten in a while. Like. I loved it so much.

Also? I made myself cupcakes on my birthday. I know thats wrong but whatever. I'm a rebel and I did it anyway.

OH. AND. My cousin sent me this.

Some of you are really confused right now and that's totally okay. I'll explain.

SEE. I'm a really huge John Mayer fan. Like, buy every album sing the songs in my sleep try and convince myself he isn't a creep kind of fan. (which clearly, this photo is not helping. Creepy. But whatever. His voice is hot.) Anywho. He texted me "John wishes you happy birthday." And I fangirled and told him he won for best happy birthday text.

The end.

Xoxo, Ruthanne

Oh, hey there! [recap && new name]

2013-09-14T22:00:00.003-07:00

HI GUYS!

WOW. LET ME JUST TELL YOU.

My summer was INSANE.

I didn't work much the first half. And then the Fourth of July happened and BOOM. 40-70 hour weeks were basically thrown in my face. So yeah. That's where I've been. Oops.

ANYWAY.

Lets have a little recap of the past two months, shall we?

So I say I "worked"....Yeah, well I basically lived here for two months. Rarely did I actually sit and my hair is pretty much dead from all the chlorine it drank but hey, it was fun.

It was HARD. A really HARD summer. I'm not complaining by any means, I had a lot of fun and learned a lot, too, but it was exhausting. By the end of it I was ready to sleep for a week.

It was a lot of this:

picnics and reading!

feeling like this at the end of the day. both of us!

playing a dozen games of mastermind before camp

bribing little boys with blue spiderman ring pops

living in nikes and yoga pants, but loving the view from above

T-man ate a billion times a day, each time was a well balanced meal of turkey and strawberries.

BUT. In the rare moments I found myself with a day off (actually that only happened twice. it was always more like 4 hours with no commitments) I would actually do some fun things! Like...

went to the rodeo and consumed these kicka*s fries. no, really, thats their name. bomb.

I ate them with this view. double bomb.

sometimes I ended up at the lake instead of the pool. glorious.

spent a little time with my pretty twin before college. boo.

dressed like the rainbow with this one

went fishing with my daddy and cora

matched with Lex for the fourth!

took the middle sis shopping

got milkshakes with amanda

baseball game with D, R and T!

tried to take a decent selfie with the little brother and sis

enjoyed a week with this lovely girl!

ALSO. On top of those fries, I ate a LOT. Observe.

watermelon. erryday.

peaches.

gluten free cupcakes.

gluten free chocolate covered pretzels

gluten free waffles

12 hour old salmon and salad

gluten free blueberry pancakes

berries. lots of them.

sushi (this was just the prep)

So after I was done working, and playing, and then eating, I slept for a whole day.

Okay, maybe not. But I wanted to.

Here's a few other outtakes from summer!

a bear ran out in front of my car and scared the snot out of me

the rim fire caused my pretty home to look like this for about 3 weeks. No lie.

me and my trusty sidekick trapped and killed the chipmunk that invaded my sister's room.

I enjoyed our firepit immensely.

made happy banners with S and H.

bought this baby. love.

celebrated 150 years of small town goodness.

WOW. So. There you have it. My summer.

I have a LOT up my sleeve over the coming months. I'm in school right now and have 6 hours free in the morning every single day. So. I've been planning. Also, new blog name! What do you think? I felt I needed to change it up. I wanted something a little more reflective of what this place is - the blog of a nanny - "miss Ruthanne". Give me your input! Please?

Thank you so much for enduring this long post! Please - like my facebook page, follow me on pinterest and twitter, as well as instagram! Let me know you're from my blog and I'll follow you back! xoxo!

-Ruthanne

ps. I turn 18 in two days. nbd.

pps. I'm a COLLEGE STUDENT. more on that later.

summertime.

2013-06-17T21:31:00.004-07:00

summertime is home-made raspberry soda in mason jars.

a day in real life - vol. 1

2013-06-14T06:02:00.000-07:00

Hi y'all! Casey - over at The Wiegand's - inspired me yesterday to get real and share images of my real life. No posed shots. No super happy probably only lasted for three seconds smiles. Real images of life in motion. Today's installment is from Thursday, June 13th, 2013 (yesterday) and all shots were taken after 8pm. It was my evening, realistically.

after worship practice. new lens means mirror pictures are perfectly acceptable, right?

this drive has become a blur - literally. I drive it so many days a week I could do it in my sleep.

addicted to "lucky guy" by mockingbird sun right now.

yes. I'm one of those girls who proudly displays her tassel in her car. mine even has rhinestones ;)

came home and changed into leggings and an all too big sweatshirt.

dropped my keys on my nightstand...next to the other important things in life.

walked into my closet to tackle laundry. lets be honest...most days it looks like this

...instead of this...

clothes are spilling out of my dresser, per usual.

and my dryer door is open.

there is a stack of books from the library that I haven't even touched yet.

and my bathroom counter looks like this.

my bed went all day without being made...

my towel was hung up crooked and my sandals are on the floor...

along with my running shoes and roller skates..

but, knowing full well I should deal with all of the above, I stop and take another picture in the mirror.

happy friday, my sweet readers ♥ next time you think of it, take a picture of your real life. and share with me if you do! I would love to read (see) a day in your life!

DIY: wooden 4th of july sign

2013-06-06T13:18:00.002-07:00

Hi loves! Guuuuuuess what?! Independence day is in LESS THAN A MONTH! Eeek! Guess what else? It just so happens to be my most favorite holiday in the entire world! I love it so much.

Last year, I whipped up five DIY hair bow tutorials for y'all - you can find those here. And this year, I thought I'd break out the paint and woodstain and bring you something that requires a little more work! Ready?!

You will need:

A square piece of plywood (or almost square - mine was 23"x24")

Dark woodstain

Old rag for staining

White paint

Paintbrushes

White chalk

Sandpaper for sanding out mistakes - they happen!

Brown craft paper to put under your project - unless you don't care about whatever it's on!

Start out with your board on paper. As you can see in the photo, I tested out a bit of the stain before doing the full board to make sure I liked it. I did :)

This is the wood finish/stain I used - and I love it. It was the perfect color for my taste.

Stain your board - fully. I used an old rag, so it wasn't too think. I wanted to maintain the pattern the plywood has and I loved the depth the stain created. Make sure to stain the sides, too.

Let the stain dry (I didn't wait that long, honestly. I think I waited like 5 minutes. It was a thin layer and I'm impatient!) and grab your chalk. Decide how you want to write out your phrase - You could do it like I did or rearrange and change it up! Up to you.

Write it out with the chalk - just a small outline. Doesn't have to be perfect, it's just a guideline. And guess what? If you mess up, just use your stain rag and "erase" it. Sigh. the glories of temporary art supplies.

After you have your outline, pick up your paint brush and go to town! The paint I used was called "Chalk" by Royal Interiors for Ace Hardware. I'm in love with it. You'll want to let your first layer dry - try not to mess with it too much. You can go back and touch up all you want. I let mine dry about 15 minutes, did another layer, and let that dry overnight. If you drop or drip any paint, wipe it off with your fingers and sand it out. It'll easily be recovered by a quick rub or two of your stain cloth.

this is how it looked after I touched up - I added some stars and made the letters thicker. I did even more detailing after this. And thus, my final product was born.

I also took some red spray paint and sprayed it lightly on the rag I used for staining and rubbed it around the edges of the board. I liked what it added. this is totally optional.

I used the sign I made for the fireplace mantel display - but you could attach hooks and hang it, mount it, anything, really!

If you make this, shoot a link my way - I'd love to see your take on it!

xoxo, Ruthanne

graduated + life update.

2013-06-05T00:39:00.001-07:00

I don't really know how to start off this post.

It's been two months since I've written here on my blog.

Since then, a lot has changed, to be honest.

The most important of all being that I graduated high school last weekend.

It was a lovely day and I was so blessed by the 60 people who attended my graduation and party. God sure has given me some seriously awesome friends.

I also discovered I am gluten intolerant. I would like to be tested for celiac's disease but I'm terrified that the results will come back positive.

For the past year and a half I've been having a lot of celiac's/gluten intolerance symptoms, and within two weeks of removing gluten from my diet most of them had gone away. Two weeks ago I accidentally ate some non GF peanut butter cookie dough - and within 20 minutes I was lightheaded and tired - sure signs of sensitivity/allergy.

On the lighter side though...

The movie I've been waiting for a year to come out finally came out and I saw it. It was perfection. Gatsby. Y'all. See it. Now.

It kinda snowed in April. Typical NorCal weather...still made me irritated.

I shattered my phone screen and had to pay to replace it because it killed my phone's ability to function for more than an hour. Lame.

My brother's lacrosse team continued their undefeated streak all the way til Championships...and won their game 19-4. Proud sister.

I launched a photography endeavor. We'll see if we can call it a business by August. Cross your fingers, y'all.

I took up running. And then got sick for 4 weeks and haven't ran in 3. This week I'm getting back at it. Finally.

I became addicted to my aviator sunglasses. GAH.

We got chickens - 6 of them to start. Somehow, however, we also got a dozen eggs - mis-communication on my parents' end. The eggs incubated, and five of them hatched. Three on their own, and the other two I hatched in my hand after 12 hours of struggle - one died that night, but oh my word they were precious. It's amazing to watch life come into this world, as minuscule as a chick may be.

5 of our [now] 9 chickens - a dog cruelly ran off with one while we had our backs turned. but man, does our zoey love them!

Ethel- my own personal chick. She has double lashes on her eyes. presh.

We went to the ocean for a few days. I was hoping to fish, but because I was so sick (like, 2-hours-of-sleep-you're-coughing-so-much kind of sick) I didn't get to. The view was nice though.

Oh, and we finished our back yard! it's glorious. Grass and a firepit and oh my lanta I'm in love.

There's more to tell, but honestly, I'd rather skip all that and just start now.

Because I plan on being diligent from now on and posting about life and such.

Roll your eyes, please. Because I'm rolling mine too.

So, here's to trying to blog, again, and my future...of who knows what.

[grad pictures to come soon - none of my family took/posted any on social media - how strange, I know, but I'll have some soon]

xoxo,

Ruthanne

p.s.

if you still actually read this blog, please comment, so I know what I'm starting with. with no more GFC things are gonna have to change.

p.p.s

if you can see all these images - comment, too! trying to figure out why people couldn't see all my pictures. thanks, lovelies.

San Francisco Giants Manicure

2013-04-02T11:37:00.001-07:00

Hey y'all! I'm alive! See?

Okay, but really. I'm terrible at this blogging stuff lately. Ha. School is almost over...then comes freedom and time to blog! Whoop whoop!

Anyway, do y'all know what yesterday was? The Giants' opening day! They played the dodgers in LA (boo) and lost (double boo!) but it was a freaking great game. To celebrate, I did my nails giants themed, and thought I'd share. This mani is SO EASY and you could do it for your favorite MLB team, too!

I used Meet Me At Sunset by Essie for the orange, Beyond Cozy by Essie for the sparkles, and the black nail art brush/polish by Milani.

Go channel your inner baseball fan girl self and pick a team, watch a game, and rock this awesome mani! (I recommend the Giants, we are world champions right now and all.) ;)

self portrait tuesday.

2013-03-27T17:11:00.000-07:00

I took this picture today to experiment with some lighting stuff...and I seriously love the way most of the focus is on my hair. Weird? Maybe a little bit. But seriously, it's so cool. Just my opinion though. I love too, how even though my eyes aren't in perfect focus, they're sooo blue. Tryin' to get creative...hehe.

Happy Tuesday, sweet friends!

I want to challenge you for next week to take a self portrait and post it on tuesday. be creative. get crazy. change it up!

Tough Mudder '13

2013-03-25T12:26:00.002-07:00

Guess who just registered for this? ME.

That's right, y'all. This is my summer project...training for the Tough Mudder.

Oh, my goodness. I am so excited. The challenge is so fantastic...and I can't wait to be pushed to my limits!!!

I'm going to try and keep updates about my training process, and if you want to look into one of these near you, go here.

Also, I was just informed last week that my photos arent' showing up...that's my current project, to figure out why! I'll get on that...hehe.

xoxo, Ruthanne

so this is what having a best friend is like.

2013-03-19T12:08:00.003-07:00

Hello, sweet friends.

How are you all? I hope this post finds you well.

I have so much to tell you all about my trip to Texas - but I have to sit down and sort it all out first. I thought though, that today I would share one of my favorite photos from my time with miss Rebekah in Texas.

The picture just says it all. It so describes us...her converse and my boots...baseball game, sitting next to each other laughing about how adorable the players are and becoming irritated with the game's score. It felt so normal.

I know a lot of people wonder what it's like to have a best friend that you never see, and have never spent much time with. I think we've spent a total of about 16 days together over the past three years. Not really much time at all. But whenever people ask if it's awkward or weird when we see each other...I always smile and say "nope. It feels like we do it all the time."

And it's so true.

Her mom picked me up from the airport and we met her at Chuy's - and she was waiting in the parking lot, and the second I saw her my heart skipped a beat and I was out of the car before Momma had it in the spot. I ran to her and we just stood there, hugging each other, crying.

My heart was at home.

There are truly no words to describe such a feeling. You have to experience it.

I can't tell you how many times last week we just looked at each other and said "I can't get over how normal this is.." and "so this is what it's like to have a best friend."

I'm so thankful, so full, and so sad to be away from her, once again.

Until next time,

Rutahnne

BEST...DAY...EVERRRRR!

2013-03-09T19:37:00.000-08:00

Please tell me you caught my Tangled reference?? Good.

But seriously y'all. Best. Day(s). Ever.

I am in heaven.

Yesterday, Texas momma picked me up from the airport and we cried a bit. We met Beka at Chuy's, and we had such an amazing reuniting hug. It was amazing. We both cried. And just held each other.

After, a quick trip to target and then OrangeLeaf - frozen yogurt - to complete the first meal tradition. It was perfect.

This week is going to be amazing. We spent the whole day shopping - my word, got some cute stuff, y'all! and tomorrow is gonna be just as fun. So excited. I'll leave y'all now and shut up about all of this. ;) but I'll be back! ;)

Xoxo!

Ruthanne

On my way!

2013-03-08T09:33:00.000-08:00

Hey y'all! I just landed in Dallas. My word, it feels so great to be almost there. I played with some apps on my flight to Dallas and got a cool picture out of it. Thought I'd share during my layover. Boring post, I know. So close. I can't wait to hug my beautiful best friend.

Xoxo, Ruthanne

Tomorrow.

2013-03-07T23:05:00.000-08:00

Y'all. Oh goodness. I'm laying here and I simply cannot sleep. Tomorrow is the day I see my precious sister for the first time in 10 months.

How on earth does one express their feelings when something like this is happening? I can't even describe how it feels to know in a mere 7 hours, ill be boarding a plane, and in another 5 hours after that, she and I will be reunited.

Oh, glorious day.

I'm going to be blogging about this as much as I can. I want to keep y'all up to date and all that jazz.

I'm going to try and sleep now - try. I'm like a kid on Christmas Eve right now, y'all.

Goodnight;

Xoxo, Ruthanne

slow down, girl.

2013-03-01T18:27:00.001-08:00

Yes, that is a picture of a burger. Yes, I have a reason. No, this isn't going to become a frequent habit.

Okay. So do y'all ever get to a place where you're just going all the time? Like, everyday is just another day to rush through to get to the end of?

That's me lately.

I leave for Texas in a week and I'm just so ready to rush rush rush rush through the next 6/7 days.

I worked this morning from 10-2, and I went to get lunch after. I started to ask for my burger to go, when I realized, no, stop. You don't have to be anywhere right now. Stop. Breathe. Enjoy your food. Be thankful for the day.

So, I had them make my food "for here", and I waited, watched baseball (I was really annoyed they weren't showing the Giants' game...NY verses Philly. Lame.) and ate my burger. It was nice. It was a good reminder to slow down.

I went for a walk with a friend instead of a run.

I drove 15 mph home in my subdivision instead of 30, when the limit is 25.

It's somewhat ironic that today was like it was, because it's March 1st - this month, I'm going to try and remember to march with a purpose, and take my time. Marching bands are uniform because they take the time to practice and slow down to work out the kinks.

Happy Firday, friends.

xoxo, Ruthanne

8 days.

2013-02-28T13:14:00.000-08:00

I can't believe it. In just 8 days, I'm going to be in Texas with my sister. I am honestly beyond excited. I can't describe how it feels to you.

The only people who can really understand the way it feels are the ones who've been through the same thing. When one of the people you cherish the most is so very far away from you all the time, the little moments you get together are so, so special.

The other day I overheard someone complaining about it being two weeks since she saw her best friend. I chuckled and muttered "try 10 months." I don't have a chip on my shoulder about it, though. God has blessed us both so much and taught both of us so much just by us being 2200 miles apart - our friendship is based on more than simply having a sidekick. It's about loving each other through prayer and encouragement.

You'd think , that since we've only ever spent a total of about 8 days together over the course of our friendship, that we wouldn't know each other's body language and facial expressions and vocal cues, but man oh man, it's quite the opposite.

In other news, I ordered an iPad Mini this morning to (hopefully) have for my trip. Any suggestions for graphic design apps, creative apps, etc? Oh, and any book suggestions? I'm not taking much on the plane so I want to be able to keep myself busy!

Happy thursday, sweet friends!

xoxo, Ruthanne

exposing myself to potential criticism

2013-02-21T10:32:00.002-08:00

I honestly don't know what to say these days.

I am torn between wanting to share this blog with the people around me, yet I really don't want to hear what criticism I may receive, simply because it will not affect who I am, or the content of the blog; it would simply be annoying, and a downer; and completely unnecessary. Furthermore, the people who would judge and give me grief, are the ones who inspired me to start this blog anyway; the people who don't really care to know me.

I find myself holding my tongue more and more, interacting less with my peers, and spending more time with the people I really care about.

I'm going to be honest here, because that's what this blog is for. If people read it later on in life and get their panties in a bunch over it, that's something I'll deal with then.

I feel dumped by my friends. One of them got a boyfriend a little over three months ago, and I thought we'd do things together - you know, all hang out, I'd be the third wheel and get used to it, and maybe another one of our friends would join in and we'd have even more fun.

No, no, no. That's not the case. That's not how it went down. We hung out about a week and a half after they started dating, went shopping for the Junior high Christmas party before Christmas, and that's all the time we'd spent together in three months until we went on a walk last week.

I feel so sad, not because I can't handle the being dumped thing, but because I don't trust the guy with her heart. He's lied about things people have said, he's rude to me and doesn't like me, and I really, truly, haven't spent any time with him, so I feel his judgement is unfair. Y'all know me and y'all know that I've worked hard to get over what people think of me - it's not that. It's that it reflects poorly on his character, in my opinion, because he's judging someone he refuses to spend time with. I feel like she's going to end up hurt, and it makes me mad that I can't do anything about it. But that's life, isn't it?

Along with all of this, another one of my friends has shown me that we weren't exactly on the same page with our friendship, and I feel used; simply a person to fill her empty time slots when she got bored; and the second I messed up and said the right thing at the wrong time, I'm chop liver.

It's okay, of course; but it's sad, because I was truly feeling like we were moving past so many of the things we struggled with.

Beyond all of this, though, God's given me new friendships. One, with a 24 year old named Kelsey, who is my friend's boyfriend's older sister, and another with a young man named Jesse.

The times Kelsey and I spend together bless my heart so much. I can't describe to you how wonderful they are. I feel like she's me in 7 years...or how I want to be in 7 years. We spend our Tuesday afternoons watching The Bachelor that I recorded the night before, and shop in classy stores that no one really likes around here except us. We talk about politics and theology and life and just enjoy ourselves. She's special and I am thankful for her; kind of like an older sister to me.

And then Jesse. I know, some of you skipped right to here because he's a he...but no, there is nothing, nothing going on. He is simply a wonderful friend, who is showing me that guys and girls can be friends, and interact on a normal level, and have a healthy relationship, so long as both parties are looking to serve the other as their brother or sister in Christ. He truly treats me like a sister, and makes sure I know that I'm loved by my King; he reassures me when I'm doubting myself and lends his thoughts when I go on my crazy thinking sprees. He only moved here a few months ago, but I feel like we've been friends forever. We never run out of wholesome things to talk about. It's great, and I am thankful for him, as well.

I am genuinely trying to balance what I talk about on here between fun and real life stuff. I don't know how to do that, perfectly, though, because to me, being raw with y'all is so important, it's what makes my blog mine.

All the love in the world to you, today, sweet friends. May your Thursday be blessed.

xoxo,

Ruthanne