The Sinns Of Attraction

Brainstorming: Ways To Convey Direct Interest

2012-02-22T09:26:00.000-08:00

Lately, I've been talking about this idea of expressing direct (Non qualification based) interest in a girl early in the interaction as a way of

A. Defining the pickup for the girl. A lot of the time when you approach a girl especially if you're using an indirect opener the girl is unsure of what the interaction is, by using direct interest early, the girl knows you're interested in her romantically/sexually.

B. Escalating the interaction.

So here's my admittedly incomplete list of ways to express this direct interest in a competent way (as opposed to telling a girl she's hot or has great tits).

1. Why I like you statements. These are compliments that are framed as being the main reason or a main reason for your interest in her.

2. Statements of intent. The grandfather of direct interest. There are some really interesting Old, old, old school (like 2001) posts by a guy named Neo-Rio on ASF about SOIs solid stuff. I've also talked about them extensively on the Seduction Roadmap. SOIs are exactly what they sound like you give the girl a statement of what you are going to try to do.

3. Making plans/Asking her out. This is where normal guys do it right. Asking a girl out early ( as long as you don't get her phone # and leave in 3 mins) is a good way to demonstrate that you want to see her again and you're interested in dating her.

4. Relationship ?s. This is a technique I created after watching Captain Jack. Relationship questions like "Are you the jealous type" serve to frame the interaction in a romantic context. You would never ask a girl if she was he jealous type of girl unless you were considering her for a relationship and thus interest is very subtly expressed.

5. Assuming/Talking about a relationship. When you assume a relationship (even in a jokey role-playing way) you are expressing interest.

So those are 5 ways I came up with sitting around last night.

If you have any others leave them in the comments and I'll re-visit this topic sometime soon.

JS- The King Of Content

Response To A Great Comment

2012-02-20T10:03:00.000-08:00

I usually don't pay much attention to the comments on this blog, I skim them to see if it's more of a " How Do I attract girls" overly simplified question that I have 100% answered in a million blog posts/products/talks or if it's more in the vein of the " I hope you die, cause you suck so much I take time out of my day to read your blog." variety.

Either way as Jim Rome used to say More of me and less of your comments makes for a better blog.

But there was an exception a few days ago on my long rambling diatribe about hitting on girls by a commenter named Mike.

Mike actually had a specific question and was able to actually think through the problem himself and present some different ideas about what might be happening (Hint if you want my advice be more specific, rather than asking how to pick up hot girls)

Mike's comment was as follows:

Thanks for the post!

One thing was unclear to me, can someone help me here: what are good and bad responses after you hitting on her = a statement of intent?
my guess is below - please correct / expand:

good reaction:
- her being happy for the statement like smiling
- her testing you (eg 'do you say this to all girls?'

bad reaction:
- trying to brush your statement off ('don't say such silly thing')
- her making effort making conversation non-sexual / business-like (?)
- mentioning her boyfriend?
- ignore? - if she smiles this is not ignore, is it.
- her looking uncomfortable
- her going away / ending conversation

Pretty much right on, but I will add a few things.

When you hit on girls no response is a good response. This is what I call passive acceptance, and it's a major factor in escalation. Most of the time girls will not react to escalation beyond laughing or smiling, so no reaction is a good reaction.

As for the bad responses, you pretty much nailed it, except obviously her ignoring the statement could be a good sign. Everything else is pretty right on.

The truth is it's NOT that hard to figure it out. The reason guys think they have trouble is because they want to ignore reality. They want the dream, that even tho the girl is obviously not interested and giving them a bad reaction that they are somehow just misreading the situation when usually the girl is simply not into you.

Hope that helps Mike and everyone else,

JS- The King Of Content

Creating and Passing Women's Tests

2012-02-17T10:41:00.001-08:00

Hey there,

Today I want to talk to about the idea of creating and passing a woman's tests in order to create attraction.

That's right I said creating tests. One of the easiest and most predictable way to get attraction is through passing a woman's tests.

The reasons are pretty simple, tests engage a woman's emotions, plus she has to be somewhat interested in order to test you in the first place.

Tests have gotten a somewhat bad reputation in the SUISC but in reality they are conditional indicators of interest. Think of them as a woman saying I'll be attracted to you if you answer this the right way.

But what if a woman doesn't test you?

While it's true that you can come in and create so much attraction a woman doesn't even try to test you and is just interested (In fact that's what I usually try to do myself) but what happens when you don't get attraction and the woman isn't testing you?

The answer is apathy, and apathy is the real enemy of pick-up.

So to avoid apathy and keep a woman emotionally engaged we simply need to create tests for ourselves and then pass them.

This is the newest stuff I've been working in field and it's REALLY helped my game especially when looked at in the context of creating and passing tests as a way to sexually escalate.

SO how do we create tests?

1. Cocky and Funny. If you overdo the cocky and funny most women will test you. You can also just be cocky and that prompt tests as well. The idea here is to say something so outrageous that the woman feels prompted to call you on it giving you an opportunity to pass that test.

2. Player Game. Talking about how you're dating lots of girls or have 8 Gfs, are a porn star, etc. Will prompt testing.

3. Obvious Lies/messing with her. Telling girls you're a virgin, a porn star, celibate, or other obvious lies/messing with her type statements will cause tests.

4. Pushbacks. This is where you brand the girl with an unflattering stereotype like being prude, not getting out much, being old fashioned, etc will cause her to pushback against it and test you.

5. Arguing. When in doubt you can create a test by arguing with the girl about something. Be sure to do this about something trivial, and not something the girl is really invested in. If her favorite movie is Harry Potter arguing about how stupid wizards are is not gonna gain you points even if you "pass" the test technically.

When it comes to passing tests you want to stick to the holy 3 of

1. Agreeing and exaggerating
2. Going silly- tickling her, singing, mocking her,
3. 4th grade comebacks- I know you are but what am i, your mom, etc..

So that's one thing to do in attraction as an overall strategy when you're not sure what else to do.

Boo ya

JS-The King Of Content

You're Leading her to a decision Not a yes....

2012-02-15T15:26:00.000-08:00

This is one of the key realizations you need to make in order to actually start having success with women.

Your goal is not to lead a girl to a yes, necessarily but rather to lead her to make a decision about whether or not she wants you to hit on her.

If a girl won't let you hit on her or accept it, you're shit out of luck for turning that into anything romantic or sexual.

So the way to think about opening, social comfort, and attraction is that the goal is to lead her to a decision about whether or not she's interested in being hit on before you start to qualify her, as there is no point in trying to qualify a girl who isn't interested in you hitting on her.

How do you do this?

With what I'm tentatively calling direct interest. Direct interest is basically telling the girl you like her without qualifying WHY you like her as you will do in qualification. With direct interest you're tipping your cap and letting her know you like her by hitting on her.

The girl will either accept this or reject it at which point you can either qualify or move on.

JS- The King Of Content

Some thoughts on hitting on girls...

2012-02-13T10:01:00.000-08:00

I'm on the verge of being able to really articulate what I'm trying to say here, but it's not quite right, so bare with me as I dump some thoughts I've been having specifically about hitting on girls.

Mystery created some really good stuff, but he also really fucked a lot of people (myself included) up with the idea of being indirect. And to be clear I don't think he did it intentionally, or even that being indirect NEVER works. The reason the whole indirect thing fucked people up was that people equated being indirect with OPENING with an indirect opener.

In my experience there is a big difference in the grey area between starting a conversation with an indirect comment or opener and actively going out of your way to NOT show any interest in the girl. And don't even get me started on negging and "active disinterest".

So the first point here is that Opening direct and demonstrating direct interest are not the same thing. You can start a conversation indirectly with anything and then at ANY time demonstrate some direct interest in the woman. For the sake of me not losing my mind typing, we're gonna call any sort of direct interest shown in a woman "hitting" on her.

So you Can and SHOULD hit on every woman you approach. Notice how there is a difference between approaching a woman and hitting on her. A lot of guys out there approach women, very few actually hit on them. Even when they are doing direct openers.

Some thoughts on direct openers:

I like direct openers especially during the day time. I think that if you know how to flirt they are a great way to start a conversation especially if it's a particularly awkward situation like she's walking down the street fast or she's at a table in the corner of a restaurant. I don't however think that direct approach is the be all and end all to approaching. It is a tool, there are times it's the best choice in the situation and there are other times where it will get you immediately disqualified. The real problem between direct and indirect openers is that students tend to get really attached to one kind of opener to the detriment of the other. There is a time and place for both kinds of openers. Though in my experience direct is more efficient because girls are either interested or not almost immediately. The main guy who can benefit from a steady diet of direct approach is a guy who has made himself a 7 who can handle rejection(for real not just in his head) and doesn't want to spend a whole lot of time talking to women who aren't interested in him.

So back to hitting on girls:

The real game is the game of getting a woman to allow you to hit on her. You can talk and be interesting all day long, but if she won't let you hit on her, you're going NOWHERE.

When I say she won't let you hit on her, what I mean is this; as a conversation evolves you're going to need to express increasing levels of interest in her. This might start by saying she has a cute smile and escalate into telling her she's really turning you on, etc... Subtext is majorly overrated. You need to tell the girl you want her/ are attracted to her in order to actually get laid. But more than that you need her to accept those expressions of interest, rather than deflect or ignore them.

Because with all of our game and tactics and techniques, the woman still makes the final decision on whether or not she's interested.

In the past I've had women deflect hitting on them by saying "not on the first night" or " You can't hit on me I have a bf" and yes some of these obstacles can be overcome but really they're a good thing. If a women is not going to let you hit on her, she's not going to have sex with you. When girls deflect or ignore (as opposed to challenge which I'll address in a second) direct interest they're not worth the trouble. Sure you could try to stay in there and turn it around but if you're honest with yourself you'll know that you don't turn sets around that often (don't worry none of the gurus do either).

Now the other option is that a woman will challenge your direct interest with a tease or sarcastic comment. This is actually a good thing. Back in the day we thought women were testing us was a bad thing. Guys thought you should be sooo fucking good with women that you should just breeze through every set with complete control and awesomeness. Turns out that's not how the process works and this back and forth testing process is actually more like verbal foreplay. When a woman verbally spars with you she's testing to see if you can handle her. The implications being if you can handle her in conversation you can handle her in the bedroom. Now there are many ways to pass these tests outside of the holy couple of ignoring or agreeing and exaggerating. I've seen guys stare tests down, get crazy with the chick, tickle them etc.. The point is you have to show the girl who is boss and in some weird way that's what she subconsciously wants, when she responds to you hitting on her with a challenge.

So I gotta wrap this up to move on to other work but the main points I wanted to make were to separate direct interest from direct openers, point out that approaching a woman and hitting on her were different things and show you the 3 responses to hitting on a girl: acceptance, ignorance or deflection and challenging.

I'll have more on this as it gets more clear but using this stuff I've pulled 3 Same DAY lays in the last few weeks ( I also moved 3 blocks from a mall which helps).

More to come.

JS- The King Of Content

I swear I have a disease....

2012-02-08T15:26:00.000-08:00

I HAVE THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

JS

An interesting thought on delivery from Jerry Seinfeld

2012-02-06T10:00:00.000-08:00

Hey there,

Hope everyone had a good weekend!

Mine was tarnished sightly by the Pats losing the Super Bowl but not as badly as you might think as I was convinced they would lose going in, so no biggie.

I wanted to share a quick thought on something I heard over the weekend.

There's this awesome new show on HBO called Inside Comedy or something like that hosted by David Steinberg. Their first show was about Don Rickles and Jerry Seinfeld and they had interviews with both which were pretty interesting.

The thing that stood out to me the most was when Seinfeld and Steinberg were talking about new material and how audiences can sniff it out when Seinfeld said he had a piece of material that always killed but he hated it as a joke, and one night he was about to do it but in his head he was debating and he finally decided to do it because it always got a good reaction, but this time it fell flat because even thinking about it falling flat made it so. He went on to say he was sure he delivered it the right way as well.

I thought this was interesting because I've seen the same thing with pieces of pick up material. I don't think it's any sort of "The Secret" type law of attraction BS but I do think that when you hesitate even mentally people pick up on it through microexpressions or body language or something we all tend to give away our true emotions even if we think we're masking it with good delivery.

So that's an interesting thought for the day.

JS

Re-Examining Pick-Up Dogma: Cocky and Funny

2012-02-01T10:05:00.000-08:00

Welcome back to the always educational and entertaining re-examining pick-up dogma series, in today's article I want to talk about being cocky and funny.

Unlike most pick up dogma problems, this one has a clear patient x, and his name is David Deangelo(or Eben Pagen or something). David D started talking about being "cocky and funny" to Cliff of the old Cliffs List back in the early 2000s under the name sisonpyh (or hypnosis backwards) after he had been working with Ross Jeffries and they had a falling out (rumors abounded because RJ touched his girlfriend at the time,but who really knows?) sisonpyh appeared and "cocky and funny" was born.

Now to be clear I'm not evaluating the entire "Double Your Dating" methodology (which consista of getting email addresses like a retard) instead I'm focusing strictly on the idea of being "cocky and funny" which is a GREAT idea for attraction.

In fact it's one of the better frames for attraction period.

But there are some problems which I'll outline in a meandering Peter King style list with mismatched numbers and letters.

1. The Application being taught is terrible. C&F is taught as not answering questions, or giving a woman a straight answer, making fun of women instead of teasing them and a host of other terrible applications. C&F is a frame meaning that it governs behavior in an interaction. OVERALL you want to be cocky and funny in the attraction phase by joking about being awesome and making the woman laugh by being funny.

2. Not everyone can be funny. Sorry I had to say it but I keep it 100. Some people are funny, most people aren't. But luckily the funny part can be changed to playful and everyone can be playful. Playful is about being silly, and childish. But most importantly it's about not taking yourself, the woman or the interaction too seriously, you do that while being 'cocky' and you're doing pretty good.

3. Guys overdo it. C&F is good and it can get a great reaction especially early on, which can be a problem. Guys see that 1 c&f line worked well so they figure 50 must work incredibly. WRONG. Think of c&f as a seasoning like salt. Everyone loves salt, but no one would like it if you dumped a can of it on their food. 1 or 2 C&F comments in the first 20 minutes are MORE than enough.

4. Looking evasive. If a girl asks you a question once and you avoid answering it she'll laugh, but she'll also ask again and at some point you start to look evasive and shady because you're not telling her anything about yourself. It also violates the law of reciprocity.

5. David D is a dork. Unfortunately David D was a dork who didn't really get hot chicks (see my post on his wedding, do a search I'm too lazy to link) so he made up a bunch of overly harsh teases that would NEVER work in the real world my favorite being " That's a nice dress, you buy that new?" These are insults. Insulting women NEVER works write that down.

Anyway in conclusion Cocky and Funny is a great frame for attraction but you can't generate and keep attraction strictly by being cocky and funny, nor is it a complete system for attracting or seducing women.

Boom tho.

JS- The King Of Content

2012-01-30T12:25:00.000-08:00

Real Quick Post today as I just wanted to share something I've been teaching in an advanced training class that will be helpful to some of you blog readers who are a little bit better with women.

Social Status Matters, NO ONE DENIES THIS! But unfortunately your overall social status may be much higher than your social status in the environment you're trying to pick a girl up in.

That's where this status equation comes into play, you're status in ANY Pick-up is extremely formulaic and easy to figure out/manipulate.

The Status Equation

Your status = Framing + Social Proof.

So let's break this down.

By now you should all have a basic understanding of how to frame yourself as high status (Hint it's called Attraction), there are more advanced ways of course like Name-dropping, Inside language, Correct Bragging and more. But this is a short blog post so what ya need to know is that you frame yourself through your words and actions as either high-medium-low status.

The other part is social proof or more importantly how people are reacting to you. Are people treating you like you're important? Do you know people in the environment? Etc...

Now these two can contradict and even out but combined they equal your status in any given interaction.

Kinda high level to think about in field, but interesting.

JS

Incentive and Emotions

2012-01-27T09:46:00.001-08:00

I watched the Freakonomics movie the other day and it got me thinking about incentives. But more than incentives it got me thinking about how in any situation in which you are trying to persuade someone there are incentives but also emotions.

An incentive is a reason, reward or benefit someone gets from taking an action or making a decision. An example of an incentive being used in pick-up is the idea of bottle service. If you have a table and bottles of alcohol women are incentivized to talk to you, or go back to your table by the idea of free alcohol and or being around guys with $$$

But with all due respect to Steven Levitt, the incentive model ignores emotions and how emotions can affect decision making.

If we were all rational like economists predict based on market models than all it would take to motivate any group of people would be the proper incentive. But as we even see in the Freakonomics sometimes incentives fall by the wayside.

In the movie there is a short part where they follow an attempt to incentivize high school freshmen into raising their grades by offering them a small amount of money around $50. They follow two kids one of whom does raise his grades the other falls prey to peer pressure.

The peer pressure in this case is the emotional incentive. In this kid's case, it's more important and valuable to hang out with his friends and skateboard then it is to get that $50. Now obviously if the incentive were higher, he may have been more diligent, but that makes an entirely different point about price point behaviors which is less interesting. The point here was that when faced with a financial incentive or an emotional incentive 50% of the kids went with the emotion. Which basically backs up one of my favorite things I say which is this:

ALL PEOPLE MAKE EMOTIONAL DECISIONS THEN USE LOGIC TO BACK THEM UP AFTER THE FACT!

So how does this relate to pick-up?

Pretty easily. Incentives do matter, so being able to demonstrate how awesome you are and how much a girl will benefit from being around you does matter. But it only matters as much not more than the emotion a girl gets from being around you. You can't just cover one side of the coin and hope to be successful.

Hope that helps,

JS

Why can't movers or cable companies be on time ever?

2012-01-25T10:10:00.000-08:00

I feel as though this is a pretty simple task.

You say you're going to show up between 1-6 (an outrageous 5 hour time window) then show up somewhere in that time window.

Don't call me to squeeze me in at 12:30 because I will be getting Subway and the whole thing will become a mess.

Also I'm sure I have written this before but ALL cable/internet service providers are the worst. There literally is not one good one and I have tried them all from Time Warner to DirectTV and even some company that only exists in Miami. They all suck. Balls.

This time in bad cable guy service we were told they were coming between 1-6 (note the standard time window) and that they would call us 30 mins before they got here.

We never got a call until they had already left because we weren't there. Why weren't we there? Because it was 12:00 and our appt time (which they gave us) wasn't til 1. Then to add insult to injury, they told us they couldn't reschedule us until next Monday.

Then I yelled and was a bad customer and we got cable installed yesterday, with only minor inconvenience/incompetence.

Which brings me to my final point I want to make to big corporations: Stop rewarding people for bad behavior. In most companies that deal with the public (cell phones, hotels, cable) the only way to get them to help you is to be an asshole and make a big fuss. When you do that you get rewarded with money off your cell phone bill, room upgrades or sooner appointments.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a fucked up system that basically guarantees an adversarial relationship with customers?

What's worse is that the reason companies do this is to save money and time. They want to spend as little time as possible on each customer under the assumption that most people will just go along with shitty stuff because it's easier than making a stink which ironically is how you get what you want.

Anyway i'm just venting now, but I do think there's some point to the idea that all customer service industries need to reform their policies and practices to make things better for people who don't make a big deal out of things.

JS

I'm Moving

2012-01-24T13:37:00.000-08:00

Yo,

I'm moving over the next couple of days so updates will be sporadic.

But next week I want to have a special theme week with assignments and stuff for you all for free.

So check back over the next few days to hear annoying moving stories when I periodically have internet.

Talk soon,

JS

The Dennis System

2012-01-20T10:10:00.000-08:00

The real way to pick up girls :)

And yes I am having Always Sunny withdrawal...

JS

FACT: Women Make you Stupid(er)

2012-01-18T10:00:00.000-08:00

Yo yo,

I was surfing the depths of the interweb yesterday and found a link to a pretty awesome article that confirms something I have been thinking for a long time.

The act of merely mentioning a woman's name makes men perform worse on standardized tests. That's right just the mere mention let alone real life interaction.

Is it any wonder cold approach can sometimes feel like the hardest thing on Earth? I think not.

The article as a whole is worth a read, and you can check it and the study out:

Here

Word.

JS

Microexpressions and pickup

2012-01-16T14:58:00.000-08:00

Hey there,

I have been a busy busy beaver and also a sick beaver but that's another story hence no blogging for a long time.

My bad.

In the meantime I have also been studying new things that affect game hooray!

The main thing has been the work of Dr Paul Ekman. Mostly focused on emotions and facial expressions. I highly recommend checking out his website Paulekman.com

though if you don't feel like doing that I will summarize everything and tell you how to apply it to game just because I am such a nice guy :) Or I just like to hear myself talk even if it's blog form your choice.

Dr Ekman studied a ton of different cultures including ones that had no access to the media and discovered that there are 7 different kinds of UNIVERSAL facial expressions. That means no matter who you are,you express anger, fear, surprise, disgust, sadness, happiness/enjoyment, and contempt.

SO that's the good news, the bad news is that most people don't recognize these well and that people can engage in facial deceit (GASP!!!) and conceal their intentions.

The other good news is the existence of what Dr Ekman calls "microexpressions" these are 1/25-1/5 of a second flashes of emotion that EVERYONE has that you can't conceal without extensive(like juillard trained actor type) training.

So what happens when you approach a woman is she's going to flash a microexpression. Now in a dark nightclub while sipping on some syzurp it's difficult to see these tiny flashes, but in Day game this is a game changer. With a little education, ( I recommend the SETT and METT programs (which I did both of and got score of 80% METT and 96% SETT on Ekman's site, or if you want to save some money the book "Unmasking the face" by Ekman and Dr Wallace Friedson is like $8 at any bookstore.) you can learn to identify these and know EXACTLY what the girl is feeling on most approaches. It's LITERALLY like reading her mind in the first 2-3 seconds.

So far since I've studied this stuff I've seen a micro flash on EVERY single approach I've done ranging from happy(Going out with her this week) to disgust (a blowout shockingly). But mostly girls are surprised (especially on direct when it's like 90%) which is great feedback to my advice that you need to take a step back and let the girl adjust when doing direct day game so go me!

Another place where microexpressions are super useful is in physical escalation. If you watch the girls face as you escalate, you will see a flash. This is almost freakishly consistent as well, and again gives you a great bit of information for calibration. And yes, for the record all of my escalations have gotten happy flashes.

So to summarize, Dr Ekman's work is really interesting and will help you with calibration no matter where you are. The most effective piece for pickup is microexpression which are most useful in opening (day game) and in escalating where reading the girls microexpression will give you an almost 100% accurate idea of what she is thinking.

Hope that helps,

JS- The king of content

The Sky is Not Falling Again: On The Possibility of A Game Movie

2012-01-11T09:49:00.000-08:00

The only Game movie that should get made is an in-depth look at all of Neil Strauss' various lies, embellishments and blowharding.

Instead it looks like MAYBE a movie will be made next year and already people are writing stupid posts about it and worrying that the world of talking to girls is coming to an end.

Fact: No one cares about the seduction community. The book did the rounds in 2005 and for a few months you might have had a girl or two ask about opinion openers other than that the result of all of Neil's publicity was nada.

Fact: LOTS of movies get bought and optioned and yet don't end up as major releases. Chances are (I know statistics and probabilities are hard for your brain) the movie won't even end up happening. I personally have a friend who wrote and sold a movie in 06 they have been trying to cast for 5 years and supposedly that is coming out this year.

Possible Fact: No one actually teaches the same shit from 2005 right??? I mean I know I don't and I'd be shocked if anyone other than Mystery was still teaching negs etc...

So seriously don't worry about it. Instead worry about getting out there and talking to women rather than finding ANY excuse under the sun not to which is what all of you talking about this movie are doing.

LOSERS.

JS

Reasonable VS Unreasonable Goals

2012-01-04T09:39:00.000-08:00

This is sort of a New Year's post, call it semi-New Yearish...

I go back and forth a lot between whether I think it's good for guys to set reasonable or unreasonable goals.

The basic discussion comes down to this:

With reasonable goals you are MUCH MUCH more likely to achieve and therefore feel better about yourself and improve your life.

With unreasonable goals you have a MUCH MUCH MUCH worse chance of achieving these goals, however they may help you to reach higher than you would have with more reasonable goals.

So what's a guy to do?

Personally I only set realistic goals at this point of my life. It's fun to sit around and think of all these amazing situations but IME you just end getting pissed off because you won't be able to achieve the goal easily and most people (myself included) don't have the perseverance necessary to keep going through failure after failure after failure.

So my final official take is this:

If you're going to set goals, be realistic. It is not relaistic to think you will go from NEVER talking to girls to getting 4 Same Night Lays a month in 3 months. It is not realistic to expect yourself to be trying to get laid during your first few approaches etc.

The more realistic your goals are the higher the chances that you will make actual progress towards them and improve your life. Unrealistic goals have another name I like to call them; fantasies.

JS

It's been awhile...

2012-01-03T10:25:00.000-08:00

I'm not dead.

Just been lazy and busy with other crap over the holidays.

But I'm back now and looking forward to doing a lot of posting 2012.

But first I need to go finish this week's Sexual Triggers video and work on a couple of other projects. And I should really go to the gym.

I'll post another re-visiting article sometime this week and content will return to normal starting tomor.

Hope everyone had a good NYE.

JS

On Demonstrating Value Part 2: It's Not a video game!

2011-12-19T15:27:00.000-08:00

So it seems like people didn't really get what I was trying to say with the post on demonstrating value from last week.

Shocking I know.

The point I was trying to make was that the idea of "Demonstrating value" is fundamentally wrong, because as I talked about last time, value is subjective. Also it's kinda hard to figure out what a girl values specifically without sounding like a therapist. So the idea of demonstrating value is off both as a term and as a part of the pick-up process. I'll sketch out what I believe (and my research supports) actually is happening later in this post.

This gets into today's post "game" doesn't work like a video game. There is no sequence of things that you can say or do that will get you laid in every situation. Unlike a video game there isn't ONLY 1 way to pass a level or achieve a goal. There are a huge variety of variables that are not present in a video game and rely on a real person with her own feelings, thoughts and agendas.

Such as:
The type of girl you're talking to
Her current mood
Her romantic status (Is she single, looking, taken,)
Her previous thoughts about guys who look like you
Her history with guys
Her age
and on and on...

Pickup is actually much more like the game roulette. The variables are almost infinite and luck plays a much bigger part than we are willing to acknowledge. This also leads us to the Gambler's Fallacy and how that effects the way pick-up advice is given.

The gamblers fallacy can be illustrated as follows. "Fabio" has a system for playing roulette. His "system"(bro) is to play red every time. He has lost 3 times in a row. When he loses he doubles his bet under the Gambler's fallacy that red should come up next time since it's been black 3 times in a row.

The reason this is false is because each roulette spin is independent of the last spin. On AVERAGE over a long enough time line or certain number of spins it will come up red or black about 50% of the time each. But that does NOT mean it's going to be red or black 50% of any given number set, like Fabio's 3 spins thus far. Each time the wheel is spun the chances of red or black coming up are around 50% no matter how many times a color has come up in a row.

Hopefully you're still following me, I know things like academic research are difficult to read when you're used to advice like "Be A MAN!" and "Make the ho say no!" but I digress.

Each approach is like a spin of a roulette wheel, just because the last 5 girls I talked to who looked like this girl were(or not) into me, does not GUARANTEE this girl is going to be into me, because EVERY girl is different. Like each individual roulette spin.

So some women are going to respond to a guy who's hard to get, while others will not bother. Other woman will want a guy to be really aggressive and interested in her. And so on and so forth.

So am I basically just telling you to give up and that there is no hope to systematically attract a woman?

Not exactly...

There is one thing that all people(men included) respond to, that's emotions.

All people make emotional decisions (Such as continuing a conversation, being alone with a guy they just met, giving out their number, going home with a guy) and then use logic (he's a writer, he's hot, it just happened, I felt a great connection, he's sexy, I was drunk) to explain them.

Emotional stimulation is what happens during the "attraction" phase. In fact if you can't get any of what I call "emotional fluidity" (the ability to influence her emotionally positive or negative) the conversation ends very quickly.

Hell even pissing a girl off is better than getting apathy (Which is often what you get with DHV stories don't lie)

Let's look at some of the given attraction tactics and see how they stimulate emotions:

Negs/Teasing- Causes frustration, want for validation,humor
Storytelling- Range of emotions usually positive and humorous
Role-playing- Range,
Cold Reads- Intrigue, curiosity,

There's more but I want to wrap this up before I get carpal tunnel syndrome.

Because there's an almost limitless range of emotions, the true skill of attraction comes from learning to get an EMOTIONAL response from the beginning. Sometimes this even means pissing a girl off when she's being all apathetic and shit.

Which is also coincidentally why I was once able to pick up a girl at the W in Dallas with the opening line " I hope a plane crashes into this patio and kills everyone." she was in a negative emotion and I realized it (subconsciously at the time) and adapted.

And also ya know what I've been teaching for the 3 years I've been on my own.

Boom, Lawyered.

JS- The king of content- You come at the king, you best not miss :)

"You Already Know What I'm About"- On Managing Expectations

2011-12-14T10:41:00.000-08:00

Yo,

Ever since the whole Kristen situation spiraled (Horribly) out of control, I have been more anti-commitment than ever (It is possible believe it or not).

I also figured out how to get laid A TON with minimal (Sometimes never) telling the girl you like her. I'm still trying to piece together everything I'm doing that's reproduceable (The whole me being emotionally dead thing is hard to mirror) and here's what I got. This stuff is not very nice, and it shouldn't be used with girls you're OPEN to having a relationship with but if you want to avoid drama, commitment, neediness and emotions while banging lots of chicks, here's some advice(I'm totally going to hell).

1. Qualify more for compliance than for compliments. When you REALLY don't want the girl to get attached (Or at least to get over it quickly) qualification goes back to being a Mystery Method style phase as opposed to actually looking for what you want in a girl. The more you give specific reasons you like her the harder it's going to be to keep her from catching feelings.

2. Be Busy. I actually am insanely busy with a Sinns of Attraction, a side business, kickboxing, friends and fucking other girls so that part wasn't hard. If you're not busy then you need to frame yourself as SUPER busy upfront to start to negate the demands on your time the girl will expect.

3. Lead with your "Not looking for a relationship" foot. I now start every date with an explanation of how AWESOME my single life is, and how much I like being single and am not looking for a relationship. Some girls will ACT like they're not into this idea, don't give up. Oftentimes PK (Post Kristen) I've been on dates where girls verbally disagreed with that yet slept with me anyway.

4. Don't talk every day. Go several days without contact on a regular basis. Don't establish a text pattern where she expects to hear from you every day or at a certain time. Don't return texts or calls too eagerly.

5. Treat her really nicely. Be super gentlemanly, pay for (almost) everything, open doors, make sure she cums etc... By combining being a good guy with being upfront about what you're looking for there is less for her to complain about both to you and her friends. It doesn't make you a good guy but maybe you'll get preferential seating in hell near Stalin :)

6. Be a cold soldier. Every now and then girls will test you, by saying "I miss you" trying to hangout every day, getting you to meet their friends (You know stuff girls do when they like you).. This is where the word "No" is your best friend. You were upfront, there is NO obligation for you to do any of this stuff.

7. Don't rub her face in the fact you're dating other women. Don't lie but don't tell the truth either. She needs to know you're dating other people. She doesn't need to know how many, their names or anything like that.

8. Cut Needy Chicks early. I met a girl at CVS who was smoking hot. The issue was she was BLOWING my phone up 3-4 times a day before we even went out. I had to let that one go knowing that the lay would not be worth the headache that accompanied it. If you're trying to be happily single, cut needy chicks off as soon as the neediness starts. ESPECIALLY if you haven't slept with them yet. It won't get better.

9. Man up and tell them it's over. At some point certain girls get annoying, or you get over it. Rather than just disappear, send a break-up text like

Hey, I'm not really sure how to say this, but I don't think we should see each other anymore. I think you're a really cool girl, but I just don't see this going anywhere and I think we should both move on. Sorry. Jon

And there you go a beginner's guide to keeping it moving. Which is what I do best.

JS-The King Of Content

Re-visiting Pick-Up Dogma Part 2: On Demonstrating value

2011-12-12T16:14:00.001-08:00

Hey There,

I want to pick back up with my Re-Visiting Pick-up dogma series. Last time we looked at being non-reactive and focused on the idea that having the RIGHT reaction is better than sitting there with no reaction.

Today I want to talk about that prickly Pick-up pear (try saying that 3 times fast) known as Demonstrating value.

The idea as taught back in the day by guys like Mystery went a little something like this:

You are a 5(no matter what you look like) and she is a 10(no matter what she thinks she is/the environment etc) so in order to get her interested, you need to simultaneously lower her value while raising your own.

This was done through the use of two tools: Negs and Demonstrations of value (DHV). Now I'm going to to be tackling Negs in their own separate post, so here we'll be focusing on the DHVs.

Back in the day the DHVs that were commonly taught were:

1. Pre-selection. The idea that demonstrating or verbalizing the idea that other women are attracted to you causes attraction. Verdict: True. Probably the best thing I got from Mystery (and it flies in the face of a lot of typical dating advice) is the idea that dropping a hot ex GF into conversation causes attraction and it does, though not as well as actual demonstration.
2. Leader of Men. The idea that being the leader of your group was inherently attractive. Also one of the lamest things you could possibly say to a woman " I'm a leader of men." Verdict: True in theory. It's a good piece of head nodding material as power is attractive. However it's hard to actually demonstrate this without seeming like you are OBVIOUSLY trying to impress the girl.
3. Protector of Loved Ones. Verdict: False. This is WAY more of a comfort thing. It's also one of those things that is difficult to use in field. It's not something you're going to just casually throw into the first few minutes without seemingly like you are qualifying yourself.

So there's no inherent problem with those other than them being kinda head nodding material, and being difficult to implement unless you naturally have good conversational skills and social intelligence which most students don't.

Now we need to move on to what the REAL problem with the whole DHV model really is; value is subjective. While there are things that are universally attractive to women, they also happen to be the things that most guys who find this stuff don't have going for them. These are things like money, looks, height, social status, etc... Outside of those things value is a subjective thing. What is valuable to a party girl at a club in LA is different from what is valuable to a professional girl out to dinner with her girlfriend at a trendy lounge in Seattle. Older women value certain things that younger women don't, and vice versa.

So the real challenge and skill of attraction is being able to figure out on the fly what this particular girl in front of you is going to value and then trying to demonstrate that. This also ties back into the whole idea that being non-reactive is bad because instead of being non-reactive we want to tailor our interaction to the girl we're talking to.

Which is why DHV routines are so hit or miss for students. Sometimes they work but other times they fall flat because you're using them at the wrong time with the wrong girl.

SO the key points to take from this article are:

There is no "value formula" that works every time. Instead value is subjective and is mostly based on the individual girl in front of you.

Therefore the MOST important part of attraction is being able to figure out WHAT the girl in front of you values and using that rather than a paint by numbers approach.

Hope that helps,

JS-The King Of Content

Maxxing Out Your Look

2011-12-09T14:21:00.001-08:00

Hey there,

So continuing on my theme of Maxxing Out(Here's where I'd insert a trademark :P)

I want to write briefly about what I think the first, easiest and best thing to max out is; your look.

It's really not hard to take yourself from less than attractive to attractive. 3s become 5s, 5s become 7s etc...

I firmly believe that ANY guy can max out his look within 6 months - 1 year unless he's HORRIFICALLY obese and has to spend years losing hundreds of excess pounds.

Again keep in mind that MOST guys are not going to max out at a 10 without plastic surgery, height implants, and a time machine. We're not aiming for perfection we're aiming for the best we can be. If you're bald you're not turning into Fabio. Sorry.

So what do we need to max out look wise:

1. Body. As a guy if you have nice looking arms, no muffin/top and a semi defined chest you're basically a 7 as long as you're not hideously deformed in the face. So if you're obviously out of shape and it's important to you to meet women get your ass in the gym. Or on a bike or into a karate class or whatever EXERCISE you like you 3-5 times a week. If you're too skinny lift weights and eat weight gainer.

2. Skin tone. Acne is a MEDICAL problem. Go to a DR if you have gross acne, don't try to cure it with cream from the mall. Also if you're really pale, get a tan. Even if you have to fake and bake it will give you a chance to meet girls who also go tanning.

3. Hair. If you're bald/balding go Bruce Willis. Don't try to hang on, don't comb it, don't have spikes that start in the middle of your head. Also if you have hair and it's going grey dye that shit if you want younger chicks, or shut up. Then get a real haircut not a $10 job from some chick who barely speaks english, spend $50 for something that can make you 2 pts better looking by itself.

4. Get a look. Girls should be able to stereotype you in 1-2 words by the way you dress. Rocker, Hip Hop guy, Nerd, Hipster, Jock, Prep. Pick a style and then dress that way rather than doing what 90% of guys do and throwing together hit that doesn't match and looks terrible. If you have to get some personal shopping done for you at Nordstrom's (it's free).

5. Accessories. Having a couple of accessories or things girls can talk to you about is always good. I have a tattoo, and a collection of funny t-shirts. You may have a watch or ring or necklace or shoes that starts conversation but get something. 1 thing not 97 like back in the day peacocking.

With those 5 areas you can max your look out usually in only a few months.

Word.

JS

Maximizing Yourself Out

2011-12-07T14:11:00.000-08:00

Lately I've been really inerested in the idea of a guy maxxing himself out or maximizing his lifestyle, skillset, and inner psych.

Most people are not going to max out with a supermodel, a Ferrari and a life of lounging on the beach, but it's a much better goal to aim for than the ones usually pushed on guys by the SUISC.

So how does one max out?

First you have to take an honest (and you'd be SHOCKED by how many guys lie to me while asking for help) look at where you are.

You start with the physical, are you worse looking than you could be? Then you look at your living situation, your job, friends, social life etc...

The point is it's a long process but it's the only way to see real long term change and to actually reach your potential.

Plus most guys (myself included) are nowhere near where they could be with a little effort.

JS

About Captain Jack

2011-12-05T09:35:00.000-08:00

Hey there,

I know I've been getting some ?s about CJ and you're all quite persistent so here goes:

CJ is cool, he's working really hard right now doing the marketing for a multimillion dollar company, that's going through a huge growth phase right now.

His website is down because of some mix up with the hosting company. So even though he still owns Betheseducer.com they won't restore his content. Sucks right?

Other than that he seems to be in good spirits and has been focusing on meditation and spirituality as well as cleaning up his health and stuff.

He didn't seem to be going out much the last time we talked which was probably a month or so ago.

So there ya go,

JS

This Blog Is For Guys Who Are Bad With Women

2011-12-01T14:29:00.000-08:00

I've been getting a rash of comments over the last few weeks giving super simplified advice as a juxtaposition to what I'm writing.

What these assclowns don't understand is that the advice "Just fuck her" is not particularly useful for the guys who read this blog.

Guys who read this blog generally are more hard cases (as I was and as EVERYONE who googles pickup advice etc is).

Sooo when you MR armchair pickup guru give advice that I'm sure works for you and your jabronie friends (as you must be so completely overwhelmed with pussy that you have time to comment on blogs designed to help you get laid more) it is annoying and frustrating for guys who are the actual target audience I'm writing to.

The guys I write this blog for need help and date ideas, and conversational topics and overviews of how to talk to women. Otherwise they wouldn't be coming here to read my 1100 and something post over the last 6 years. And those guys are the reason I still write this blog even when it seems as though I've exhausted every way to talk about pickup in writing...

If you want to brag about how awesome you are be a condescending prick, you can do it somewhere else as I will now be blocking those comments. All comments telling me I suck and should die of a horrible disease will still be allowed as those make me LOL.

Good talk,

JS