Sabretooth Movies

A Very Expectedly Great Movie

2012-12-13T23:26:00.000-08:00

Great But Different.

This was a movie that might have suffered from a very common post-trilogy syndrome of trying to live up to its predecessors glory. Instead this movie gave a big old fuck you and decided to be completely different and it worked... well... in fact very very well.

The movie starts before the beginning of the Lord of the Rings trilogy with old Bilbo and Frodo, and Bilbo is recalling his story, as Frodo goes to wait for Gandalf in the woods, which is the first scene after the prologue in the original trilogy. The movie goes for a great while into detail about the dwarfs and the cave and the gold and the dragon and the setup for the next three movies, then it starts at the beginning of 'The Hobbit' book. It has multiple flashbacks to earlier times and different storyline which keeps it pretty excited for the first half and the movie which is slower then the second. The end of the movie doesn't creep up on your but comes with no real feeling of conclusion, obviously.

An Unexpected Journey was perhaps the most entertaining movie I have seen all year, it had it all the underdog story, the fallen hero, and even romance (Not really... but I am still holding out for maybe the great sex scene of all time between Gandalf and Galads). It didn't take itself to seriously in the slightest but still maintained a sense of epicness, and adventure. There are very few things that aren't great about this movie. Although it lacked the original authentic feeling of the first movies. All the bad guys in the film were CGI and lacked the conviction of the dressed up, unrecognizable human that I love so much. Nonetheless it was still great to look at as CGI looks amazing now.

For those that have read the book, it is quite different as you might expect because a movie made from the book would be terrible just like the book is. Simply put 'The Hobbit' is a children's story and not much else, but Peter Jackson has done a great job in adapting it for the screen. More then half of the movie probably isn't in the book, and its for the better, making it much for entertaining. There are scenes with storm giants and warges, orcs and necromancers and although not in the original story they were very fun to watch. If you went into the movie expected it to be like lord of the rings they you may be disappointed, it is completely different in nature its much lighter and entertaining.

I did decided to watch it in the new 48 frames per second instead of the normal 24 fps, and it was different, a little distracting at first but my eyes quickly adjusted and it was very smooth and looked much cooler especially during the fight scenes, I highly recommend it over the now outdated IMAX 3D theatre for amateurs.

Overall, the movie was good just about what I expected from the trailers, different, less authentic, more entertaining then the original trilogy but still adventurous, epic, and heartfelt. A really fun movie to watch.

Overall Rating

S-A-B-R-e

2012-09-06T08:47:00.000-07:00

First Person-ish cop movie about two officers that stumble across a drug cartel... LOOKS AWESOME. This is one of those you watch the movies and then seriously consider being a cop if it was at all like this movie...which it isn't I don't think. It is starring Jake Gyllenhaal and Michael Pena (there is a squiggly line above the 'N' in 'Pena' used to indicate his ethnicity, but I don't know how to write it using my keyboard) The director is David Ayer who has a fetish for badass-streetgang-cop movies having done training day, and S.W.A.T and Street Kings. I am very much looking forward to having that couple moments of wanting to be a badass cop.

- E

Magnolia Films

2012-09-06T08:27:00.001-07:00

Magnolia Films seems to be popping up more and more in the movie world, maybe it is just me but it seems to have the fix on good movies. Magnolia Pictures is a company originals made for distributing foreign and independent films, now owned by the Mark Cuban and has turned into a lower-budget amazing film producing company, that also produces amazingly basis but good documentaries. Look into it, seriously.

I have seen quite a few of there movies, hear are some I recommend, comment is you think agreed or disagree:

- Countdown to Zero (Documentary)

- I Melt With You (Film)

- Troll Hunter (Film)

- I am Still Here (Film)

- Jesus Camp (Don't watch if you like Christianity) (Documentary)

- Man of Wire (Documentary)

- Food Inc (Documentary)

- The Hunter (Film)

- And many others

Leave your comments with your favourite and your least favourite Magnolia Film.

- E

Why I believe that 'The Dark Knight Rises' will be one of the greatest movies of ALL time....!

2012-09-05T11:16:00.000-07:00

A Movie to Rise Above All Others

The Dark Knight Rises, has been an extremely long awaited squeal, not in the traditional sense of time, but in the longing of awesomeness sense... Let me elaborate... Most movies I walk out of and say 'hey that was alright' then a while later I think 'hmmm could go for another one of those movies right now' but when it comes to Batman I left the Dark Knight movie theatre and was immediately ready for the sequel, and that is why it is an extremely long awaited movie. The Dark Knight Rises has had a crazy amount of hype after The Dark Knight and Batman Begins which were both absolutely amazing movies! The movie is expected to be just as good as The Dark knight is not better, and I believe that even though the expectations are extremely high the movie will be just as good if not better then the Dark Knight... and that is saying a lot.

I will elaborate my argument in three paragraphs. The first praising Christopher Nolan as a god. The second is just my personal opinion followed by a concluding paragraph that will have the word fuck in it about 20 times... obviously to give emphasis to my opinion.

'The Dark Knight Rises' - And Why it is are going to be one of the best movies ever:

1. The Director (Christopher Nolan) is a genius not much else actually has to be said about that but if you need proof; he was the creative mind behind the 'mindfucking' movies (movies that fuck with your mind) such as: Insomnia, the murder mystery story nominated for numerous awards, directed by Christopher Nolan. Memento, the low budget films that was nominated for two oscars, Written and Directed by Christopher Nolan. The Prestige featuring Christian Bale and Hugh Jackson about two aspiring magicians in search of the greatest illusion. From mind thrillers, to magicians and Superheros there is nothing he can't do. The man is also british so he is smart. He also wear scarfs and looks like a total swag-baller. The Man can make movies with highs stake suspense, crazy actions scenes, great special effects, and at the same time can completely scramble your brain. He is a king of the cinematic world (I said 'a king' not 'the king') and a God of the normal world, and he will not disappoint his peasants in "The Dark Knight Rises".

2. This movie is the 'epic conclusion' or one of the greatest trilogies of all time and with the amount of built up for movies, it might be impossible to achieve people expectation, but for me if it is even 1/50th of what I expect/want then it will be one of the greatest movies ever! I think the villain in this movie is awesome, I think the plot of this movie is awesome and I think that the flying thing that 'isnt a car' is going to be fucking awesome. I will be waiting in line for this movie for like 3 hours and it is going to be so worth it in everyway!! This movie won't be awarded in 3 or 5 stars ratings it will awarded in diamonds, because Christopher Nolan knows that pressure makes diamonds.

3. Fuck Fuck Fuck (17 left) This movie is going to reach new fucking height for the fucking superohero movie fucking genre, it will fuck with your heart, fuck with your thoughts, and it will be fucking fucktastic, and fuckgasmic!!! The cast is fucking amazing basically fucking Inception plus the Dark fucking Knight together to have one grand old fucking time. The brainiac director Christopher fucking Nolan is about to end his first trilogy and it is going to be fucking awesome!! Fuck Fuck Fuck-ya! (that was a cheer at the end...cause I had to get to 20)

- E

The Avengers

2012-07-02T16:41:00.001-07:00

If we can't make a good movie, then we will be damn sure to make a shit load of money in the process.

The tag line of this review doesn't actually work cause it was a good movie, not in the oscar movie way, but in the 'yes!, HAHAHA, OMG!, Ohhh!' way. The movie was a long awaited collaboration of 5 movies over the course of 4 years. The movie is a mixture, of the average high-budget-superhero movie and an interstellar-space-battle-humans-on-the-defense-movie. Loki the weirdo demi-god has decided to steal the tesseract (which is something that has a bunch of energy) and the Avengers are to stop him... obviously. The movie mostly takes place between the avengers trying to work through their egos problems, people dying here and there, and then like a billion aliens, with a weird bunch of giant flying worms trying to once again... kill everyone.

The movie puts on a juggling act trying to give the all the actors even time on screen. Between the heavy-hitters such as Samuel L. Jackson, Robert Downey Jr., Chris Evans, and Scarlet Johansson they have to share 143 minutes on screen, which can be no small task, but all actors had their time and their moments (even though the attempt at making Scarlet Johansson character seem like she had an interesting and dark storyline was completely terrible).

The movies plot line was different then most of the other avengers' movies excluding Thor. Thor's movie was much different then the others, cause it didn't really have anything to do with Earth, and was a weird futuristic, space movie. The Avengers combined the Thor outer-space theme with the planet that most people actually give a shit about.

The movie is the epitome of the 'big budget feel' it includes giant explosives, a flying aircraft carrier (that explodes), an insane cast, a out-of-this-world storyline (punny) and of course a happy ending. I bet most people will see it again....

In the end it finishes in the same way that it is meant to, in order to attain a box office, potential for a sequel and of course that being a happy ending.

Overall Rating S-A-B-r-e

A Party Gone Very Very Wrong, In a Very Very Good Way

2012-03-01T22:57:00.000-08:00

The Party of Partys!

I was lucky enough to attend a free advanced screening of Project X, and I must say, it was awesome. It is a parent's worst nightmare brought to life.

The movie is shot in a camera based format much like Coverfield or the Blair Witch Project. It is about a kid Thomas (Thomas Mann) who is celebrating his birthday party and is pressured by costa (Oliver Cooper) to throw a big fucking party. In a very Michael Cera - Johan Hill tag team duo relationship they pull off one of the greatest parties of all time.

The movie features some extremely sexy woman, who are acting like sluttly high school girls (is there anything better?) there are whole 5 minute long scenes of woman this their tops off.... amazing! The themes of the movie are 'party', 'alcohol', 'drugs' and 'unbelievably sexy woman!!!!!!'

The soundtrack of the movie features the ultimate dirty-party-hip-hop-rap mix that every house party desires, including eminem, kid cudi, and jay-z (H*A*M!)

As the movie progresses the party moves from a larger-then-average get together, and becomes a rioters wet dream where hobos' with flame throwers and topless woman run free! The movie is quite unrealistic and has few attachments to a reality that a giant house party would take place but it doesn't matter. In a somewhat unnerving way this movie gives every teenager a taste of what the craziest party would be like and attempts to show its consequences (which apparently aren't that bad...they include a girl!)

Overall this movie was awesome and could act as a strong deterrent to kid wanting to throw a house party, and is definitely recommended if you had any type of social life in high school, if not I guess you could just become the cameraman.

Sabre rating

S-A-B-R-e

Contagion - basically the scariest movie to watch in a public place

2011-10-19T18:52:00.000-07:00

Contagion - the scariest movie ever...

The movie contagion is about virus that spreads around the world and kills people, plain and simple... but there are a lot of implications with such a simple statement, such as what will happen to all the bodies, who will be immune, who gets the vaccine first, and last but certainly not least why oh why did that bat eat that banana ( see the movie...you'll get it)

The movie is a zombie-non-zombie thriller with a side order of political corruption. The movie is directed by Steven Soderbergh who is such a good director that he started the worldwide epidemic on day... 2 (very classy) but to match the A-list director is a A+A+A+A+A+A list cast, including Matt Damon, Jude Law, Kate Winslet, Gwyneth Paltro, Laurence Fishburne... etc.

The movie follows the different stories of all these characters as live or don't live through the pandemic, some just normal families looking to try to live, well others are high priority citizens trying to stop the spreading. All the acting, in all the different story lines is absolutely amazing, I have no further comments on flaws (except Gwyneth Paltrow... never liked her, but she still did well)

I was watching this movie in a large theatre in downtown montreal in midst of flu season, flu season involve as shit-load of coughing, sneezing and throat clearing, which is super fun for all the health people (pointing a finger at myself) but even less fun where you are watching a movie that is purely based on the transmission of a killer virus...

The movie is fucking scary in the OMG THIS COULD HAPPEN WAY, not the HOLY-FUCK-A-POSSESSED-LITTLE-GIRL sort of way, which to me is much scarier. The cast was awesome, and the directing is quite amazing, and Steven makes the movie extremely realistic.

SABRE RATING:

S.A.B.R.E

2011-10-17T06:49:00.000-07:00

The "S" from SABRE writes his first article!!

The McGill Daily » Canadian national identity and rugby

Drive'n up the Genre

2011-09-21T22:14:00.000-07:00

Drive is to Transporter as The Road is to 2012, let’s get that clear right from the start. Same basic plot does not equal same basic movie, and those looking for a mindless action film of sweet car chases and insane auto stunts best look elsewhere. Drive is a car movie based on suspense, emotion, and realism; it ain’t your average action blockbuster.

Ryan Gosling is the mysterious ‘driver,’an unnamed and silent spaghetti-western cowboy in eighties attire, cruising gracefully through the streets of LA. He is a stunt driver for Holllywood movies and moonlights as a contract getaway driver, he is very good at both of these jobs. He is not good at conversation; he rarely speaks and this largely effects the tone of the film. His life is silent and orderly until he meets a girl (Carey Mulligan) and her young son and then his life is a romance. Then the boy’s father returns from prison, and while obviously nothing good can come from this, a lot of bad spirals out. There are threats, a heist, a set-up, a man-hunt, and more victims than a Shakespearean tragedy.

Through all of this, it may be relevant to note that there are only two car chases. The first, in the opening, is a covert duck-and-cover through the streets of Los Angeles. The second is a high-speed chase that as far as I could tell was completely within the laws of physics. There is violence, but not elaborate shoot-outs. No one knows any forms of martial arts or owns a bazooka. The action is desperate, undignified, and violent.

The action is therefore “real,” and the actors only help make it so. Every performance is captivating, matching the brilliant characters written for them. Real credit however, I believe should go to director Nicolas Winding Refn who has assembled these good components and turned it into a great film with a distinctive feel and originality. The music, the silence, and the understating of what most blockbusters embellish to absurdity makes this a film worth watching. It makes it a film with Drive.

Overall Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Immortals

2011-08-16T14:11:00.000-07:00

Plot: Looks like it is going to be a mix between 300 and Clash of the Titans, A guy is going to defeat the odds cause it is his destiny

Actors: BAD!!! maybe Mickey Rourke will be okay, but this is not a movie that is built on actors

Box Office: It will do okay, in the hundred millions, cause of all the marketing and high budget, but it won't stay in theatres for more than 3 weeks.

30 minutes or less

2011-08-12T09:36:00.001-07:00

Our Predictions:

Looks: Hilarious, might get slow at some point, but it going to be hilarious

Box Office: It is going to do when, but no avatar, maybe 60 million, and will probably be #1 on opening weekend.

Jessie Eisenberg: Hilarious Stoner, like Zombieland

Aziz Ansari: Also Hilarious, no question there is going to be a slight falling out, but they will get back together.

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Conan the Barbarian

2011-08-12T09:33:00.000-07:00

Looks: Like it is going to be okay, not great and might try to have some sort of metaphorical tendencies which I will dislike. Other than that might be pretty cool

Box Office: cant really put my finger on this, I dont think it will last more than 3 weeks, but still pull quite a bit of movie

Conan: Jacked

Bad guys: Stupid

Let's see how Sabre Does.... Comment if you think you can out predict us...

Captain America

2011-08-01T18:53:00.000-07:00

Breaking news - Little kid turns into muscle machine, and makes movie!

The newest instalment of the ultimate avengers movie is out in theatres and it is Captain America! The movie acted as a giant setup, for the avengers. I found much of the movie quite redundant, back tracking on itself as well as not really making to much sense....

There is one point in the movie where the army has refused to go and rescue numerous prisoner because it is to far behind enemy lines, and is much to difficult... well captain america says fuck that and goes in himself, and then saves all the prisoners, and then.... wait for it.... they walk back! yep thats right, they WALKS BACK, unharmed.... stupid. The title of the movie may also be a little misleading although it says Captain America is should really say - little hormone deprived man with the ability to be overly unlucky, I call it this because about half the movie is about the little man, not captain america.

The acting in this movie was actually quite well done, Chris Evans who clearly needs some body work done, is quite compelling, especially in his last scene. Hugo Weaving playing Red Skull, did a great job playing a power hungry hydra leader. Hayley Atwell did a great job playing the 40's love interest.

The movies art direction and cinematography was good, keeping a old, dirty and gritty look to it, much like in World War II, some classic scene include the obvious motorcycle jumping of Captain America. The movie was able to setup a strong foundation for the plot of the avengers, helping with the beginning of the shield program, and why the avengers will be needed, it was a necessary movie to act as a platform for the much anticipated Ultimate Avengers film.

The movie has some stupid plot points, but looked good and had a some decent acting in it....

Overall Rating:

S-A-b-r-e

Harry Potter and The Deathly Hallows Part II - The best one yet!

2011-07-14T23:50:00.000-07:00

After a decade of movies, it is now time to say goodbye to arguably the most amazing movies saga of all time, and unarguably the most magical.

Harry potter and the Deathly Hollows Part II was fucking unbelievable!!! Every moment was gripping and keep the audience alive! The movie lived true to the book, only missing a few scene and adding in even fewer. The series of Harry Potter is done justice in this film.

Award to... DAVID YATES! I still remember the day where David stepped forth the take on the role of director for the 5th movie, and it was much different than the film previous, not in a good way. But now he has lived up to an almost unachievable standard of movie making, where he is able to put the book fully onto the screen, with a few twists and some different approaches but still great!

In the original movies the actor were extremely young and quite new to the wizarding world of movie making, and the casting director should get a divination medal for being able to tell the glorious future of all the actor who have out shined themselves again and again as the potter series continued! Although the casting person who hired Bonnie Wright (Ginny Weasley) should be branded with "I'm as awful as Bonnie's acting skills" and exiled to casting broken legs.

The only really downfall of the movie and the most upsetting part was the changing of the ending, I don't know why it was necessary and seemed pointless the change the end as it would have made no difference to the audience for those who had read the books or not. Their were other small parts that seemed pointless to change, such as Hermione not giving the goblin her wand when everything stills says the same with the rest of the scene.

But when all is said and done, it was an amazing film that did an amazing job wrapping up the series. From beginning to end the movie was riveting, fun, dark, entertaining, and magical. The music, acting (except fucking Ginny), plot, and tone were all perfect.

P.S - The 3d was pretty good, I have seen it in both 3d and 2d, and I enjoyed 2d more, but it is all preference, switch it up, cause you'll see it more than once.

Overall Sabre Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Green with.....Envy, no..... Green with Greed,no..... Green with not a good movie, YES!

2011-06-23T06:45:00.000-07:00

The Green lantern was a movie, which had a big budget actor, the most desirable woman of the year, and nothing else.

The movie is about Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) who inherits a ring, that is fuelled by the will of all living things. It can do anything, no big deal. Hal wearing the ring must kill an evil guy, hector who is infected by parallax - stupid name. Hal gets the girl, and the super suit, and the ring, and he is Ryan Reynolds.

The opening fifteen minute of this movie was absolutely terrible; it was completely CGIed with purple men, pinky men, and a weird smoke guy, parallax. The camera just kept zooming in and out of cosmic things, and galaxies, and a narrator who seemed to be 87 years old talk about parallax and some guy capturing him. I have mentioned Parallax numerous times, and my feelings on Parallax are that, he is one of the worst villains of all time!!!!!! his power is the colour yellow! (And fear, big deal) Who ever CGIed him should be fired, and moved to the colouring partly in the lines department.

Although the movie’s plot lacked in most ways, a huge amount of love must do out to ask men's most desirable woman of the year - Blake lively. I guarantee that a 5 to 10 minutes sex scene, with the Blake lively and Ryan Reynolds would have made it the movie of the year and a “hottest-sex-bomb scene” or something people choice awards. Just as a side note, Hal is not smart, he tried to stop a crashing helicopter with a race-track and some make-shift-piece-of-shit-car, stupid Hal.

But the best part of the movie by far, that blow all other parts of the movie out of the water, or space, was the guardians...now close your eyes...then open them (cause your going to have to read, just getting you into the mind set) they are a bunch of stupid little aliening probing-like creatures that are identical to the ones in the newest Indiana Jones....and they can long capes. I am sorry to the producers but I could not take the high and mighty guardians seriously.

Overall, if you want a little fun, some terrible plot lines, really bad physics (Hal flew to the sun in 20 seconds) and a very hot girl, go see it.
Overall Rating:
S-A-b-r-e

Watchmen + 300 + High Budget Porno = SUCKER PUNCH

2011-03-26T13:00:00.000-07:00

The Ultimate Chick Flick for Men

Before I start this review I have to give a huge shout out to the beautiful woman in this movie, may you stay hot, forever. Now...

Suckerpunch is basically the best movie of all time when you attempt to explain the movie to someone, please allow me: Imagine story where the 6 main characters are woman and 5 of them are gorgeous (one is lacking her name is Rocket) and they live in a brothel-like place and when this one girl named baby doll does some crazy gyrating dance they enter a dream world. This dream world is filled with big ass ninjas that have gattling guns, massive dragons, World-War II battle sequences and hot girls.

This movie defines sexy in more ways than one, the first way being that it is sexy when a sexy woman is carrying around a sexy ninja sword and is sexyly jumping over stuff which is super sexy. The second way that it is sexy is in that smooth, flawless, pacing sexy, much like the way James Bond is sexy.

Although this movie was much like watching a soft-core porno, there was about 45 mintues of it that could have been much improved. This 45 mintues that I speak of is when Zach Snyder (Director) tries to develop the plot, not saying that he didn't develop it but that I wasn't to heavily invested in the characters personalities. This same 45 minutes included the low-lights of the movie, the parts that I like to call emotional.

The music in this movie is something to be commented on, it was covers of rocks song, with a very unique and original twist. It made for some very, intense and cool sequences from dancing to fighting.

The movie was amazingly entertaining, it was the ultimate guys movie, and oddly rated 14A, good job Zack Snyder. Calling all director of chick flick films: WATCH THIS MOVIE! And learn how to get the male audience!!!

I See Potential Limits...

2011-03-21T15:52:00.000-07:00

The moral of the story is "DO ILLICT DRUGS" because they make your life better.

Limitless definently had a limit and it was about a 6.5 maybe a 7 out of 10. If you have seen the commercials then you know most of the movie. Basically a loser-hobo-newyork-writer takes a pill and then he can access 100% of his brain, this basically makes him the smartest person in the world - BUT WAIT!!! - there's a problem he could run out, people want what he has, there is a limit to his power...

The movie revolves around Bradley Cooper who has had a pretty shitty life and then he is offered a Pill to make him feel better, after taking this one pill he needs more, after taking more he climbs the world's richest and smartest peoples list, and then a bunch of stuff happens that I am clearly not going to tell you because I think you should go see the movie and there is a cliff hanger ending.

The acting in this movie could be much improved as the lead female Mrs. I have never seen her before literally couldn't produce a single emotion and I am betting that is why she got her clever nickname. Robert de Niro was by far the best actor in the movie but he only had about 40 lines. Bradley Cooper was alright. The cinematography in this movie was pretty cool from the endless streets, to the lighting and darkening of a persons vision to know if they were on the pill or not.

The pacing in this movie was pretty well done I didn't get bored at all, and I wasn't taken out of the movie at all even during the 25 minute withdraw scene, were he just ends up throwing up everywhere, and potentially killing someone.

I recommend the movie to those that want to be entertained, but if you are looking for a multi-dimensional movie, with layers of character development and like 400 underlying themes then you shouldn't watch this movie, like at all.

RATING

S-A-B-r-e

TH..a KIn...G'.S Spe...aC..h (or lack there of)

2011-03-06T05:01:00.001-08:00

Not the Best Movie of The Year

When you think about the best film of the year, you may think of a movie that inspires you, or that is more than just talking head the whole time, well think again because The King's Speech is literally all talking heads. I guess if you were to here a movie called The King's Speech you would assume that there maybe alot of dialouge, and you would have assumed right.

Before I rip this movie apart I must say that it was a pretty good movie, and I think that alot of people would watch it again. I also must I say that colin firth did do a great job. Now.....

This movie was probably as boring as trying to have a conversation with helen keller about paint drying on a wall, and the paint colour was called grass growing really fucking slowly. During the movie there were long drawn-out scenes of either colin firth smoking, or looking at something, or someone else talking to colin firth were he doesn't talk back. If I had to compare the pace of this movie to a really life situation it would be the pace of a blind quadrapoligic "running" a quadrupile marathon throught the gobi desert ( making a little bit of an hyberbole but you get the point)

Helena Bonham Carter was nominated for best supporting actress, And I literally have no idea why, just because the movie was nominated, and Colin Firth was nominated doesn't mean that she had to be. She literally stood there. She didn't really have much screen time, or very many lines. Anyone that stepped into this role would have been nominated for best supporting actress.

The speech also sucked, it seemed like it might have been building up to an inspiring speech that brought together the whole not-great into some awesome montouge, and I could have left the thearte thinking "WOW! WHO AWESOMELY INSPIRING! THAT MOVIE HAD MEANING AND WAS AWESOME!" unforunately I didn't have this overwhelming feeling. Good - Not Great - Definatly not the best movie of the year - Good job Colin Firth - Didn't really do a job Helena Bonham-Carter - and Slow!!

Overall SABRE rating:
S-A-B-r-e

A Whole Lot of Really Good Nothing

2011-01-19T09:43:00.000-08:00

She Literally Becomes the Black Swan, in the Mental Sense

The movie The Black Swan is about a woman who would probably be admitted to a pysc – ward with round the clock watch, with a sign on the door that reads – “Clinically Insane/ with hint of excessive obsession behaviour”. She is a ballerina, mentally fragile to begin with, and then receives the lead in Swan Lake and becomes completely fucking crazy.

The film revolves around Natalie Portman’s character Nina, and her declining mental state. She has always been devoted to ballet but this becomes an obsession that affects her health, as she strives to follow her director’s advice and dance with abandon and life.

Natalie Portman is absolutely amazing in her role as Nina and plays a really good FCG (Fucking Crazy Girl). She is happy/sad/up/down/high/innocent/drunk/prudish/beautiful/menacing in her role; it is clear and obvious why she is nominated for an Oscar.

The cinematography portion of this movie is exceptional, from every close cut camera angle to the same dance routine thirty times and especially to the gritty rave scene. There the music pounds louder and louder, as Nina tries to free herself by matching the free-spirit nature of the new dancer Lily. The rest of the time however when not the club scene or the music of the Swan Lake, the score made the movie closer to a horror movie. The second that deep violin music started playing you knew shit was going to go down.

The movie for acting, directing, and cinematic view was amazing and near perfect but where the movie started to lack was the screenplay. It lacked in the caring department; there were no stakes or reasons for us to care about the character. Sure she was a dancer who got a good role, and had a weird mother – but that doesn’t affect me or the world. FCG can be FC for all I care.

The movie also at some points had pretty strong connections to soft-core porn. Not saying it shouldn’t have been included but some things can be implied.

Overall though, The Black Swan is a great film without a good story and really is a whole lot of nothing by the end.

S-A-B-R-e

TRONTASTIC

2010-12-21T20:05:00.000-08:00

A Deaf Person’s Favourite Movie

The 2010 Tron film is amazing to watch, provided you are either deaf or just don’t care about a plot/decent writing. The movie looks fantastic; never have roman gladiator battles been so sleek and modern; never have inflatable motorcycles looked so realistic; never has Obi Wan Kenobi dressed so much like Morpheus. It is modern eye candy that explodes off the screen in dazzling effects.

The actual content however, is a muddled heap of garbage that borderlines the film on comedy territory. Here is the basic plot: ten year old son and father have clichéd conversation, father leaves and disappears, son grows up and goes all Tony Stark on his life minus the cool factor of Robert Downey Jr., son grows up and finds his way into grid world where he finds his father trapped by the evil supervillian Clu! Oh and there are glowing Frisbees that are crucial to your survival but you can also chuck them as weapons. The title of the film I think comes from the video game from which the movie is based, and is also the name of a character who was good but now is evil but then becomes good again so in the end it is all cool.

What is actually cool is Jeff Bridges, who plays the father/creator -of-the-grid/zen-master and then as a separate character plays Clu as well. Jeff Bridges is what would happen if you combined Gandalf with a very rugged lumberjack, and then added a touch of God to the mix. In short, he is awesome. Sure the director makes him do stupid stuff like whack a guard on the head to reprogram him, or create a swirling tornado out of nowhere but that is only because Jeff Bridges is a good sport. Also it is because he got paid millions.

The movie in total cost 170 million to make, and I would make an educated guess and say that most of that money was spent on making things look wicked sweet. The problem however, is that when things look wicked sweet, they don’t look real. It’s hard to care about a violent Frisbee battle when it just looks like a dramatic video game. It is even harder to care when the dialogue from the protagonist-with-daddy-issues goes something like this: “Is this really happening?” pause for something to explode “OMG it really is.” Olivia Wilde as the Trinity of the film also seems fairly hollow. She’s unconscious for a portion in the middle of the film and the audience really doesn’t notice a difference. On a side note: can a human and a program hook up? Because that just seems weird to me.

I have not seen the original Tron, nor do I want to. Wikipedia says that it was criticized for its weak plotline, which its sequel clearly did not learn from. In the end, I just think Hollywood just needs to hold some teamwork seminars and figure out how writers like Aaron Sorkin or Diablo Cody could write the scripts for movies with awesome special effects. Like Juno but with aliens as the characters, or Tron with diaologue as fast and impressive as the motorcycle chases. That’s all I want, but I think it is about as likely as a blind person liking Tron.

Rating: S-a-b-r-e

Potter Won't Win an Oscar... And it Doesn't Matter

2010-11-19T10:32:00.001-08:00

At the moment Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One is the lowest rated Potter movie on Rotten Tomatoes, and has gotten a poor reception from some of the top critics across the globe. Unfortunately for these self-satisfied critics who like nothing more than to hear the sound of their own bickering this movie wasn't made for them. This movie was made for the millions of Harry Potter fans who have reread the books and rewatched the movies dozens of times and who were ready to see the epic story of their hero come to an end. For them this movie is a masterpiece and that is why Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part One is the best we've seen from the Potter Franchise to date.

The movie takes more lines verbatim from the book than any of its predecessors. Book fans will be smiling throughout as their favourite line gets its air time. And for the first time in Potter movie history people will not be leaving the theatre bitching about what wasn't in the movie. The decision to split the movie finally gave the filmmakers enough time to do the book justice. The slower moving pace of the movie may bore some, but really allows the characters to get their final payoff.

And of course these characters were the highlight of the film. Dan Radcliffe, Rupert Grint and Emma Watson have developed into three of the best young actors of our generation. Our favourite trio really flex their acting muscle during the fight between Harry and Ron, Harry and Hermione's walk through Godric's Hollow, and Hermione 's torture scene. For the first time we are away from Hogwarts and they cannot rely on the adult actors to pick up the slack, but they don't miss the likes of Alan Rickman, Maggie Smith, Robbie Coltrane one bit.

Director, David Yates, took a much more "artsy" approach to this film than they've had in the past making for some quite fantastic visuals. The animated "Tale of the Three Brothers" scene is beautifully done and really keeps you captivated throughout quite a long story which yet again is taken almost directly from the book. The panning scenery shots we see in this film add another layer of depth to this visual masterpiece.

Part One of the finale certainly does not pull any punches in the violence department between Bathilda's attack, Ron's splinching and the previously mentioned Hermionie torture scene. All of this leaves us wondering what surprises we could be in for during the much gorier and violent Part Two of the movie.

I couldn't finish this review without mentioning what is undoubtedly the saddest scene in a Harry Potter movie to date. If Dobby's death at the end doesn't have you tearing up you're probably Lord Voldemort... or at least had your soul ripped apart a few times.

Yes the movie leaves you on a hanging point, yes it wasn't 24/7 action, yes it didn't have the charm of the first few. But Deathly Hallows Part One had much more than that and if you're getting hung up on these details go join the critics who are bashing this movie and you can all get your hate on together because for the rest of us this movie is fucking brilliant.

Rating:

S-A-B-R-E +1

Pages, Walls, Photos, Notes, Albums, Lawsuits, Lies, and Stocks

2010-10-14T15:41:00.001-07:00

The epitome of our generation is social networking, and at the epitome of social networking is a pretty well know site called Facebook. If you have a twitter account, you have Facebook account. If you want to be famous, you have a Facebook. Facebook is the ultimate social site. Since we live in a world where social influence governs us whether it is recycling because Bono said to, or you masturbating less because Dr. Oz says it will shorten penis (not true) everything is done because it is social, and that's why a movie about Facebook and the social world makes for just an amazing movie.

The Social Network is a movie about the conception and creation of Facebook, the world's largest social networking site for those who don't know. Odds are you logged into it before you when to this awesomely sick-fucking -tastic blog.

From the 3 minute open dialouge wear your brain is racing to keep up with the multiple conversations, to the actual race of Harvard row boats this movie kept me interested. The movie was interesting I didn't find myself thinking "How much longer" or " It is going to be over soon" or "GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS MOVIE"

The acting in this movie was very, very well done. The biggest surprise in this movie was Justin Timberlake who did a great job, and took the role very seriously, although he did come off as a little bit of a metrosexual douche bag it was quite impressive for a pop artist. Jesse Eisenberg did an amazing job playing the world's youngest billionaire.

For those out there that seek the universe through solidarity or believe in mass anarchy than this is not a movie for you, even though there is probably a " Anarchist United" group on Facebook. This movie is for everyone who wants to learn about social networking, which is anyone reading this blog.

What really made this movie amazing was the writing, so a big shout of goes to or favorite presidential reformed drug addict Aaron Sorkin, who has done an amazing job of recounting the steps to the creation of the second most used website on the internet (google is first)

This was one movie I didn't want to end, In fact when the credits started rolling I was a little angry. Nevertheless I was happy I went, and I would advise you to do the same, In fact go with your friends, make plans, through, text, tweets, wall post, inbox messages, who cares we are social creatures, now go out and see how a 21 year old Jewish billionaire changed the world.

Overall Rating:

S-A-B-R-E

Prepare to Be Mind Fucked

2010-10-07T15:58:00.001-07:00

So good you think your dreaming

After his unreal blockbuster of the Dark Knight, he is at it again in Inception. Inception is like trying to solve a Sudoku, inside a crossword, and you are suffering Helen Keller syndrome, which doesn’t mean it is bad, it just means if you don’t think well watching the movie you will be as lost as a white guy trying to interrupt the Tzu-Tzu tribe in North Africa.

The story of inception takes place in a theoretical world (or is it) where your dreams can be accessed by other people. It would be hard to explain the entire plot line to you so just go support the industry and watch the movie you won’t regret it.

The movie brought a whole new dimension to environments, at one point in the movie the entire set turns 45 degrees and looked really really really fucking cool. Another scene shows a city that was being slowly being destroyed and one building comes down .... unreal ( of course it was but that it besides the point)

The movie kept a very upbeat, actionish tone, but was still able to keep that necessary for every blockbuster romantic story line and had a hint of humor in it. There wasn't really a point in the movie where I was thinking about something else (it kept me interested)This movie isn't made for you average retard, you need to be able to think and understand.

The one thing that was lacking in this movie was a defined ending, it ends in a cliff hanger, well more like a think hanger, and once you think enough you can figure it out, but it would have been nice to wrap up the characters.

Insomnia, Memento, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, and finally the crown jewel Inception, calling all thinker... go out and see this movie. The movie is unreal (haha) and says a lot about happiness, and it makes you happy or does it, or does it make you think you are happy, what is happy, are you really aware you are happy, I just can't stop thinking. Happy?

Overall Rating:

S-A-B-R-e

Comedy of the Year

2010-02-01T19:10:00.000-08:00

When one pictures an angel one usually envisions a pretty girl in a white dress with a glowing halo and cute little bird wings. When the creators of Legion envision an angel they apparently envision a ripped male in a black leather ensemble, with a motorized ball-and-chain-like weapon and giant wings that can defend said angel against bullets, provided he can twirl fast enough. Sadly these gay porno angels are not even close to being the worst part of the movie.

What is the worst part of the movie is up for debate, as Legion makes made for TV movies look like award winning masterpieces. In the film, Charlie is eight months pregnant and working at a dead end diner in the middle of some US desert (the diner by way of cliché law must of course be named Paradise Falls). Her unborn child is coincidentally the saviour of mankind and must be protected by a rebel angel because God has decided he’s done with all this humankind bullshit. I myself was under the impression that God was all powerful but no he can’t just kill the baby with some lightning. Instead he picks the second most logical solution and sends thousands of zombies to kill Charlie and her unborn child. Lucky for Charlie she has the rebel angel to help her out as well as a whole wackful of cliché characters, audience meet black gangster and uptight bitch. What follows this painful set-up is clichéd, unrealistic, just plain weird or all of the above.

If anyone were to examine this movie under the tiniest amount of scrutiny some questions might arise. For instance some audience members might ask why the old lady zombie just doesn’t kill Charlie when she’s standing next to her. Others might ask why the zombie with the sheet over its head just stands there absent-mindedly beating a car with a pole. Still others might ask how a baby with no car seat survives a car crash that involves several flips and a violent landing into a canyon. In the end however it is best for the audience to sit back and enjoy the film’s only redeeming quality: the comedy.

Accidental or not, Legion has more laughs per minute than any sitcom on primetime. Old ladies climbing walls, ice cream men growing appendages, angels with battery operated weapons; comedy writers just can’t match up to Legion’s standards. This film has numerous laugh-out-loud moments and for that and only that would I recommend it. The nominations for the Razzie awards were just released, poking fun at 09’s worst films. Legion sadly missed the deadline for this year’s prestigious honour but I have a feeling a year from now it will receive its just reward.

Sports Movies Pay Attention!

2010-01-29T07:51:00.000-08:00

The Damned United is exactly what a sports movie should be. The Damned United follows famous English manager Brian Clough as he takes over one of England's biggest clubs at the time Leeds United. He only stays on as manager for 44 days before he is fired. The first thing that stands out about this compared to other sports movies is that it is about a failure. It isn't some fairy tale run where you know the underdog team is going to rise above the odds and win some unimaginable competition. It is about a big club which had won the English title the year before falling flat on their ass.

The movie is much more about Brian Clough and his right hand man Peter Taylor than anything else, so for the producers to tell this story they could have chose one of their many success: winning the European Cup with Nottingham Forrest, winning the English First Divison with Derby County, but instead they chose the biggest failure of Brian Clough's career. What this did was allow the movie to be a real story with a lighthearted feel.

This movie was not a comedy, but unlike other sports movies there was no lame cliched inspirational soundtrack, there was no inspiring speech in slow motion, instead there was irony, humour and a taste of realism. Nothing is romanticized it is just told to you the way it is.

What really keeps the movie going is the clever wit of Brian Clough played by Michael Sheen. I would recommend learning a bit of the back story before going to see the Damned United, especially on Clough because Michael Sheen portrays him perfectly. One of the highlights of the film is Clough's first speech to the players when he arrives at Leeds. For those who are fans of British humour, the Damned United is a must watch.

For directors out there looking to make an original sports movie look no further than the Damned United for inspiration. The Damned United is proof that not all sports movies have to be heavy-handed, dramatic, underdog stories.