tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8683403901305507462024-10-04T19:01:23.894-07:00Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-22298393439496592762012-07-30T02:03:00.001-07:002012-07-30T02:03:47.829-07:00Here's a pocketful of paranoia<br /> Just for ya<br /> Wrapped neatly so as to hide<br /> I'm not crazy I'm just sure you've lied<br /> I just can't prove it that's the problem<br /> You're a deceitful cheating goblinAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-12971169847011012882012-07-18T09:44:00.001-07:002012-08-05T02:50:58.397-07:00Kathryn<br /> Dearest Kathryn I've something to note<br /> It might have taken all year but solemnly quote<br /> I think I love you with all my heart<br /> Its a funny story and so I start<br /> You arrived in your bag of nails that you called a Fiat<br /> With this Lincoln attitude something different all be it<br /> A Lincolner none the less<br /> With a lifestyle and facebook page a total mess<br /> But something stood out past the chip shop floor feast video<br /> The lead actress in "Kathryns life" Sky 1s brand new show<br /> Starring Kathryn Glover<br /> My future kids mother<br /> Yea that's right "kids", mother focker<br /> I'm gonna stick it to you good and proper<br /> Anal shower sex and everything<br /> Hurt to sit down, ouch you'll sing<br /> You've got some funny little things about you<br /> Like the fact you can't stand to see people spew<br /> It used to make you heave<br /> And the room you'd have to leave<br /> But you over came your fear<br /> And that's what makes you special my dear<br /> Not special as in you have to wear a safety helmet and that<br /> Cus quite frankly you'd look a twat<br /> And that's not how I roll<br /> I'd look an asshole<br /> And I've got a reputation to uphold<br /> But thank god that's not you, well so I've been told<br /> We have had some messy nights<br /> And in the mornings you've gave us all quite a fright<br /> You've looked your worst, fuck me you've looked a state<br /> But wait<br /> Even at your lowest, and there's been some real lows<br /> The beautiful person inside you shows<br /> And I'm not trying to say your up the duff<br /> And you've got your legs wide open flashing your stuff<br /> That talk speaks for savages<br /> By the way Ben Good says down there smelt like cabbages?<br /> Before we engage please ensure you soak<br /> It'd be no laughing matter if I got down there and you made me choke<br /> But I digress<br /> One day you'll say yes<br /> And we'll paint a fence and shed<br /> Or whatever it was that jagged edge said<br /> And we'll start a new chapter<br /> And live happily ever after<br /> Just as long as you don't turn out to be a man<br /> Questionable I know<br /> And have massive hands<br /> And don't eat ham<br /> Halal only remember strict muslim now<br /> You can't eat pig but you can eat cow<br /> I think the point of this was to express my love and devotion<br /> I'm under your spell and you've got me with your love potion<br /> But first and foremost before our lives become entwined<br /> Will you start by being my valentine?Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-88671511726696495452012-07-18T09:43:00.001-07:002012-07-18T09:43:40.125-07:00Once there was a bird named JBird<br /> Who usually did what she preferred<br /> She would fly over fields and farms<br /> And would get out of mischief through charm<br /> She would often blow things out of proportion<br /> I would advise that you approach her with caution<br /> During one of her regular flights<br /> She was challenged with an almighty height<br /> As she started to climb came the self doubting<br /> And she instantly regretted her outing<br /> But she made it from one side to the other<br /> And she did it with ease and no bother<br /> So what was clear was the fact she had discounted <br /> She had flown over a mole hill not a mountainAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-48543982948720299142012-07-18T09:42:00.001-07:002012-07-30T02:49:53.950-07:00I'm not used to this one legged race<br /> I usually use two feet<br /> I'm not doing as good as I thought<br /> I'm headed for defeat<br /> It's hard for me this whole new change<br /> It sometimes gets me down<br /> I'm not used to things not going my way<br /> I often wear a frown<br /> People make this outfit look easy<br /> They don't show the real deal<br /> Like the anxiety that builds within<br /> The awful thoughts you feel<br /> It hits you deep within your chest<br /> It lingers there for days<br /> The anxiety consumes your thoughts<br /> It clouds your rational ways<br /> I'm really not the jealous type<br /> I've never known what to do<br /> When situations spring to life<br /> I struggle and over think them through<br /> I end up being over accepting<br /> And the truth I start to bend<br /> I make out like things don't bother me<br /> It always fucks me in the end<br /> I bottle it up full to the brim<br /> And stagger for as long as I can bear<br /> Until this mighty weight defeats me<br /> And I scream in to the air<br /> I let it rip and out it spews<br /> This built up anger and resent<br /> It's been left for far too long<br /> All which I never meant<br /> Out of control emotionally<br /> My deepest fear of all<br /> But this is my reality<br /> A burden I have to haulAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-29777345902772851292012-07-16T03:18:00.001-07:002013-09-27T15:18:10.756-07:00Big angry sis<br /> Oh how I do wish<br /> We'd get on just like siblings should<br /> <br /> You always look stressed<br /> Just give it a rest<br /> I think you forget that we're blood<br /> <br /> You ignore me for days<br /> When you don't get your ways<br /> Sometimes you just act like a child<br /> <br /> You're stubborn and mean<br /> It's rather obscene<br /> I can only describe you as wild<br /> <br /> You're lovely to start<br /> And you talk from the heart<br /> But then comes your horrible side<br /> <br /> All punches and fists<br /> Through this foul angry mist<br /> Dr Jekyll is now Mr HydeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-3288421401834352992012-07-16T03:16:00.003-07:002012-07-16T03:16:57.360-07:00The man in the stripy top<br /> Fuck me I wish he would stop<br /> Cringe material he'll so regret<br /> Kind of stuff you wont forget<br /> <br /> Waving elbows side to side<br /> This dickheads shocking out with pride <br /> Totally oblivious to lack of skill<br /> This idiot thinks he's out to thrill<br /> <br /> What lady in her right mind would<br /> Bed you if she understood<br /> This isn't something you're putting on<br /> You actually think you're a dance floor don<br /> <br /> But let's not get ahead with this<br /> It would take more than one wish<br /> To get any bird back to your place<br /> Even those birds with an awful face<br /> <br /> Your moves are absolutely cheesy<br /> Take some advice, just follow breezy<br /> When the tracks about to drop<br /> Do the two step don't go over the topAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-49019282053810015702012-07-16T03:16:00.001-07:002012-07-16T03:16:04.968-07:00Big meal, long wait, I'm stuffed<br /> Worth while, chow down, I'm chuffed<br /> Let's pay, who's paid? Short changed<br /> Mum pays, dad pays, enraged<br /> <br /> Costs ten, eat free, piss take<br /> Pay nowt, free meal, cheap mates<br /> Fat cats, get drunk, shock out<br /> Dirty dance, pure cheese, no doubt<br /> <br /> Next bar, more drunk, get wrecked<br /> Track drops, lean back, two steps<br /> Champagne, vodka, move hips<br /> Spiked drink, tastes strange, short sips<br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-48653542519970909032012-07-16T03:15:00.001-07:002012-07-16T03:15:03.684-07:00Happy birthday Miss Nikki Wright<br /> Age and beauty go together, am I right?<br /> As you get older you're still looking tight<br /> Let's dance and drink and celebrate tonight<br /> <br /> Party hard or go home until its daylight<br /> Don't let none of these bitches steal the limelight<br /> Standard flashing the bar cus your outfit was white<br /> When your jeans tore apart it almost ended the night<br /> <br /> Amy Derrick came through much to your delight<br /> Changing outfits in public gave the lads a free sight<br /> Party legend at heart, always one to excite<br /> 25 today!! Happy birthday Nikki WrightAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-37882103599638664232012-07-16T03:12:00.003-07:002012-07-16T03:12:44.335-07:00Sat on the edge like I'm about to jump<br /> Into this intriguing world called story<br /> The storyteller offers back my attention<br /> Apologises, she thinks this would bore me<br /> <br /> The audacity<br /> The cheek<br /> If I don't hear this<br /> How on earth am I to sleep<br /> <br /> This lack of new knowledge<br /> The pain of not knowing<br /> Tell us for gods sake<br /> The anticipation is growing<br /> <br /> The pauses grow longer<br /> Intensity is burning<br /> Ive been a good lad so far<br /> This agony's so not deserving<br /> <br /> I plead one more time<br /> I demand that she utter<br /> This story must be heard<br /> Finally she stutters...<br /> <br /> There was no cat story<br /> Just an example without facts<br /> <br /> Fuck me<br /> What an anti-climaxAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-11360513081766340952012-07-16T03:11:00.001-07:002012-07-16T03:11:32.304-07:00That awkward moment when<br /> Your heart drops and then<br /> You smile and try to act polite<br /> You swear to god its not your night<br /> So far you had enjoyed the day<br /> It's like a balancing act at play<br /> You cannot have fun all day long<br /> Without something going wrong<br /> The good and bad go hand in hand<br /> It's such a shame they can't be planned<br /> It tends to catch you by surprise<br /> But always keep your head held high<br /> And remember the following my old mucker<br /> I am JBird motherfucker!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-44790604668153085422012-07-16T03:09:00.001-07:002012-07-16T03:09:01.241-07:00Dreary like the morning you keep me yawning<br /> With your boring features and your pouring<br /> Of your broken heart all over the floor<br /> You bore me to death so much I would rather slam my head in the door<br /> The endless pain your voice brings me<br /> Like a needle through my eye so now I can't see<br /> That's a relief, I would stare with disbelief<br /> At this horrendous state that I used to call my mate<br /> Those awkward ways and childish days<br /> We all hoped you'd grow out of it<br /> But no such luck, life is shit<br /> Lifes a bitch, you're a dick<br /> You're insane a total prick<br /> An endless nightmare<br /> Bain of my life to alls despair<br /> You make me pull out all my hair<br /> Fuck your mum, I took it there<br /> And your dad, should've slapped you as a lad<br /> You wreck my head and make me mad<br /> If you dropped dead we'd all be glad<br /> You won't be missed by those you've kissed<br /> Good riddance to a bad smell<br /> What you provide is hard to tell<br /> Other than your incessant wining<br /> And your depressing obsessive pining<br /> Wet blanket doesn't do the the job<br /> Pure and simple you're a knobAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-34250652346425849512012-07-16T03:07:00.001-07:002012-07-16T15:57:02.491-07:00Something goes down you think it may be you<br /> Something's wrong she's looking awfully blue<br /> Ask the stupid questions like is there anything I can do<br /> But that just pisses her off more. Lost. But none of this is new<br /> <br /> You try to get her attention. Nothing. You wonder who is her captor<br /> She has no poker face. But through her voice, somebody has trapped her<br /> You slowly learn its an old boyfriend creeping like a raptor<br /> This feels like a certain case of the dreaded ex-factorAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-20660819411362565112012-07-16T03:04:00.003-07:002012-07-16T03:05:38.100-07:00A love so tight that I can hold it in my hand<br /> Clench my fist and never let it go<br /> Hold it for so long it leaves a mark<br /> Brand me for all to see<br /> Hold no secrets<br /> Let the world know whose love I hold<br /> And let them know that they hold my mine too<br /> A trust that runs deep within<br /> Keeps you warm inside<br /> Most of all when they're not with you<br /> Sneak away from the crowds of life and gaze upon your love<br /> Breath it in<br /> Hold my breath so your love consumes my chest<br /> And hold it there until I have to breath it out<br /> And now you're all around me<br /> Hold my arms out and feel your love between my fingers<br /> Then wrap you tightly back into my palm<br /> I carry your love with me alwaysAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-20899414414102631292012-07-16T02:57:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:58:13.824-07:00Wap Pow I Spaffed On Your Face<br /> And next thing you pulled that face<br /> And I couldn't place<br /> My concentration<br /> I finished the race<br /> Wap pow I spaffed on your face<br /> <br /> Oh my days the look on your face<br /> That whining sound that filled the place<br /> You wiped it off and we took up a chase<br /> Shit. I just spaffed on your face.<br /> <br /> We'd had the dirty sex talk before<br /> You'd made it clear not the jaw<br /> Its nasty, demoralising and its raw.<br /> Oops I just spaffed on your face.<br /> <br /> Its not my fault<br /> You made me bolt<br /> My load across your hooker chin<br /> That dirty whorish look you give<br /> I couldn't keep it in<br /> That's why I spaffed on your face!<br /> <br /> Chill out slag tits!Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-81524754020910754902012-07-16T02:55:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:55:42.427-07:00Sexy little number<br /> The bird in the black dress<br /> Can't quite get my head around the fact that you think you look a mess<br /> True say it's early it's 8.30 in the morning<br /> And half the people passing us are stretching and yawning<br /> Looks like bare people had a late night last night<br /> But trust me when I say you're looking good in the daylight<br /> <br /> Heavy hitting it we drank the bar dry<br /> Standard drunken awkward conversions I think I want to die<br /> The word cringe in the dictionary should be accompanied by my mugshot<br /> These horrendous flashbacks. Parts of the night I purposely forgot<br /> What on earth possessed you to agree to this date?!<br /> Your first impression of me I was an absolute state!<br /> <br /> Attributes to note; stalking, awkward talking, text message reading, drug dealing, my my how appealing<br /> <br /> Funny game to play. Let's see how many times we can mention Chris <br /> And then remember once again that my Mum is in fact his Dad's sis<br /> He is therefore my cousin by definition<br /> And leaves you in that awkward position<br /> You mentioned far too much info last night that probably shouldn't be relayed<br /> To keep this mouth shut a brother best get paid<br /> <br /> Last night was completely and utterly jokes<br /> Just wine this time. Kept well off the JD and cokes<br /> How funny was it when I text and put<br /> You're initials are JD, completely shooting myself in the foot<br /> Totally oblivious to my intoxicated whit <br /> I repeated my best lines sober like an absolute tit<br /> <br /> Staring straight through you and into space<br /> You asked me what I was looking at and I said your face<br /> Bladdy original answer just like my mate Bob<br /> I can make up names too you know like little Tim, Big Steve and Fat Rob<br /> <br /> If I'm being totally honest and I'm telling the truth<br /> You made way too big a deal about your snaggly tooth<br /> Haha I'm only kidding it's not snaggly I swear<br /> I hadn't noticed till you told me but now I can't help but stareAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-66118750343487890532012-07-16T02:48:00.003-07:002012-07-16T02:52:51.154-07:00Manipulated, she looks through the window into a pleasant world<br /> She can call this place a home<br /> Of course she can because that's what she's being told it is<br /> He'll love you first and foremost<br /> After the dog, his girlfriend and of course himself<br /> <br /> Every so often the view from the window becomes smeared<br /> The dirty marks that are reality<br /> But that's what charlie the window cleaner is there for<br /> Just one wipe and already the view appears better<br /> A simple fix<br /> <br /> The world outside may seem perfect from the inside looking out<br /> But the view into the house is something quite different<br /> This empty building with fading pretty wallpaper<br /> The aftermath of a preoccupied tenant<br /> This house was once perfect<br /> <br /> But can this house still be saved?<br /> A question that is passed around the block<br /> The doors are locked and the view is so picturesque<br /> But who would want to live with such conditions<br /> Restrictions and complications<br /> <br /> But who am I to comment<br /> I'm just a nosy neighbour walking his dogAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-16254864556804705302012-07-16T02:48:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:48:18.933-07:00Hey Miss Glover Happy Birthday chick<br /> My gift to you is some birthday dick<br /> Hop on board bitch. Straddle me good<br /> I'm gonna stick it to you like a nigga from the hood<br /> Birthday greetings, and hair pulling too<br /> Slag tits you're gonna get it all night through<br /> Gonna grace you with the Sabri good stuff<br /> If you're lucky I might even lick your muff<br /> Fingers crossed I won't knock you up duck<br /> Else next birthday you'll be a mother I'd like to fuck<br /> <br /> Happy birthday xAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-45924600955090447532012-07-16T02:44:00.001-07:002012-08-05T02:56:04.434-07:00Delayed flight<br /> As if out of spite<br /> Unfair as fuck<br /> Just my luck<br /> Sabris law at play<br /> <br /> Unusual circumstances my arse<br /> This shits a farse<br /> I'm sick to death of waiting<br /> There's no point debating<br /> So I'm gonna sit my ass in this seat<br /> And revel with disappointment at this deceit<br /> <br /> If I could fly this bastard plane believe me I would<br /> Fuck the flight attendant and the pilot<br /> I'm about to start a riot<br /> First off they had me waiting at the wrong gate<br /> Then they miss the take off slot and make us all late<br /> I might have something important that I mustn't miss<br /> Open heart surgery or a night out on the piss<br /> <br /> These are some waste man tactics<br /> Believe me darling that's my teeth I've just kissed<br /> This shit aint funny. I'm mega pissed<br /> Pissed in both senses of the word<br /> Totally fucked off. Yes that's right I'll flick you the birdAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-82449400239008905602012-07-16T02:43:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:43:13.599-07:00Chris and carly<br /> Tight as fuck like fruit and barley<br /> You guys only met like 28 days ago<br /> I'm staggered. You guys get on like a house on fire<br /> You've pretty much got what most couples desire<br /> Bet you thought I didn't hear you that first night you stayed round<br /> I'd have had to have been deaf not to hear a sound<br /> Girl you got dealt with<br /> It was like a scene from an old western flick<br /> Get in there johnsoc. Whoop that trick<br /> This went on for ages<br /> If it were a book it'd be pages<br /> Long<br /> Chris has a big schlong<br /> And by the way I'm not trying to imply you are a whore<br /> I'm just saying I bet you were mighty sore<br /> After such a long ordeal<br /> I hope you got a breakfast meal<br /> Bedded and breakfast its got a nice ring to it<br /> Complimentary coco pops after I hit that shit<br /> There'll be no mints left on the pillow in the morning<br /> Just dirty bedsheet stain discoveries whilst your yawning<br /> What the fuck is wrong with me<br /> Where the fucks my dignity<br /> Kind of bird that would have a spit roast<br /> Now a notch on johnsocs bedpostAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-63804856344609856412012-07-16T02:37:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:38:11.422-07:00Karl Flanner<br /> There are 70 million people in the uk<br /> There are almost 7 billion people in the world<br /> Anything you try mate I guarantee someone has already done better than you<br /> It's a depressing thought<br /> But why go through life a worry wart<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> You could have a ferrari convertible and drive around with the top down all week<br /> But I guarantee that you'll still feel depressed when the clouds come out and its rains<br /> Own any car in the world mate and there'll always release a better one<br /> Why try to compete. <br /> Don't try to win this endless feat<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> You might have the best job you could think<br /> But you still work for someone else<br /> Should this be a reason to feel depressed?<br /> Should you beat yourself up for not being the top dog<br /> You should pride your self on having a sick job<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> You might not own a house<br /> But guess what neither do a lot of people these days<br /> The average house price has soared<br /> Its ridiculous now mate<br /> Remember mate don't be ashamed of what you've got<br /> Back in the day you didn't even have a piss pot<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> You might worry that the whole bar thinks your well tight<br /> But trust me you really don't have to buy some bubbly<br /> How many of these people are you going to meet again<br /> You've got nothing to prove to folk<br /> Paying 80 pound for four sips of champagne is a total joke<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> The point I'm trying to make<br /> Is don't compare yourself to everyone else<br /> Like I've already said, there are too many people in the world and they're more than likely better than you at something<br /> Don't fixate on other people and obsess<br /> Just marvel at the brilliance of your own success<br /> <br /> Karl Flanner<br /> I know that deep inside yourself<br /> There lies a dormant inner Karl<br /> Content with everything that life has to offer<br /> You need to wake this inner being<br /> It'll prove a job worth while<br /> You'll learn to appreciate yourself and laugh and joke and smileAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-58565768181459296762012-07-16T02:35:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:35:49.435-07:00I've just had a fought<br /> Maybe if I'd of brought<br /> Those extra lessons in English<br /> Then maybe I wood of sort more success in life.<br /> This I cannot be shore of though.<br /> I cannot go threw life as a worry wart.<br /> I will not let this realisation catch me. <br /> I will not get court.<br /> Instead I'll just took my tale between my legs and take it as a lesson I got tautAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-19269110309515378542012-07-16T02:30:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:30:50.077-07:00Happy birthday time again<br /> So many laughs, remember when<br /> On my birthday you thought I was dead<br /> You rang at 3am, I was at home in my bed<br /> You said 'Where is Sabri?!' and wouldn't let me speak<br /> Then you hung up the phone and fell straight to sleep<br /> <br /> You're a bloody nutter<br /> Graze loving mother fucker<br /> Cocktails, order another<br /> Pissed, probably find you in the gutter<br /> <br /> But it's your birthday so fuck it<br /> Order champagne by the bucket<br /> Get leathered, get crunk<br /> Wake up the next morning still drunk<br /> <br /> And if you fancy a spoon<br /> Or being mounted by a loon<br /> <br /> Call on the midnight mounter<br /> For your random encounter<br /> <br /> Happy birthday victim number 6!<br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-35260894387503557822012-07-16T02:29:00.001-07:002012-07-16T02:29:18.638-07:00Hear ye hear ye, Harriet Meller<br /> Where the fuck you been? Locked in a cellar?<br /> It was your birthday last week and you were nowhere to be seen<br /> Unless that was you in Bed all pissed up and lean?!<br /> You propped up the bar for most of the night<br /> The next morning for sore eyes fuck me you were a sight<br /> You gave the town drunk a run for their cash<br /> As you flashed the whole club as you showed them your ass<br /> Poor Dom had to carry you down three flights of stairs<br /> With your arse on full view you had no worries or cares<br /> Your legs were like jelly, your face was a mess<br /> You fell over that many times you fucked up your dress<br /> At one point I recall you insisting we dance<br /> And you dipped your head back and I caught you by chance<br /> You massacred our routine, you couldn't even pull off a twirl<br /> But you're forgiven of course because you were the birthday girl<br /> The next morning you became the bain of my life<br /> God help the poor guy who makes you their wife<br /> You never stopped whining you're officially the worst<br /> Nothing but orders and demands were fired out in burst<br /> Once again to your aid came the almighty Dom<br /> But instead of being grateful you dropped him this bomb<br /> On returning from Tescos you demanded more food<br /> And told him to go back, all stubborn and rude<br /> I almost lost the plot at this early stage in the day<br /> And Dom told you to get bent, needless to say<br /> Birthday boozer to birthday brat<br /> One year older, rat a tat tat.<br /> <br /> So Happy Birthday Harriet Meller<br /> If the above is true God help your future fella<br /> Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-868340390130550746.post-78906526662758380282012-06-25T05:23:00.001-07:002012-06-25T05:31:02.944-07:00I was rather shocked to see this in the window of Clintons on Friday...<br /> <br /> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GqdIMsw-xpUazFBMMQcCFmiWbuT9WIasRbKQhwfRVvXXh72r2hyphenhyphenUjsv2aSV-rd6RHFuztL7N1CDu_yz4uqAb-E0F2I8Y1fYPhvrunhtdLuo61m-75C-aepB2hz_B_y8X4SZ0odXgkMPO/s640/blogger-image--1970228617.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="background-color: white; clear: left; display: inline !important; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi0GqdIMsw-xpUazFBMMQcCFmiWbuT9WIasRbKQhwfRVvXXh72r2hyphenhyphenUjsv2aSV-rd6RHFuztL7N1CDu_yz4uqAb-E0F2I8Y1fYPhvrunhtdLuo61m-75C-aepB2hz_B_y8X4SZ0odXgkMPO/s640/blogger-image--1970228617.jpg" /></a><br /> <br /> <br /> <span style="background-color: white;"><span style="color: black;">...I don't really agree with it but the last sentence is certainly one to consider. There is now one less shop on Bath Street.</span></span><br /> <br /> Scary stuff. One less reason for people to come to Ilkeston now.<br /> <br /> Soon my shop will be an arterial route storeAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06452218455717677149noreply@blogger.com0