Do you want to discover a patience you never knew you had?  Do you want to cultivate that patience?

Sit a few weeks or months with a dying old man who is stubborn and willful.  Who can’t do the things you do with ease but insists on trying anyway.  Who’s ability to think has come to a crawl but insists on thinking through things anyway–without your interruption, mind you.

Nurture that patience with a love that has not come easily but has finally come fully. Nurture it with the gratitude that comes from forgiveness, acceptance, and resolution. Do this for a few weeks until you realize your capacity is far greater than you ever imagined and your suffering is less because of it.  Watch your joy and compassion expand.  Then you will see that you can take that patience, that love, that forgiveness and acceptance into any situation, if only you choose to do so.

It’s a choice.  I’m learning that.  And it is a gift.

Would you like help in discovering and cultivating your own patience?   Then take advantage of a Complimentary 50-minute Discovery Session (a $97 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• My Buddy
• Forgiveness
• Life is like a Rosebush

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2012. | Permalink | 3 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: forgiveness, love, patience

I’m in a funk.  I’ve completely lost my mojo.  Can’t find it anywhere.  Haven’t been able to write.  I feel like I’m stuck in a massive, soggy swamp.  I suppose I could force my way through but it would take excessive amounts of energy.  For now, I’m just sort of sitting in it.  Letting it be.  I’m trying to simply accept it and see what may be of value in the rich swamp.

I have not forgotten about you, dear readers, I simply have nothing to say right now.  The swamp will surely reveal its treasures to me in time and I will be certain to share them with you when it does.

With love,

Carla

Related Posts:

• No Related Posts

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 15 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags:

“Good manners without sincerity are like a beautiful dead lady.  Straightforwardness without civility is like a surgeons knife, effective but unpleasant.  Candor with courtesy is helpful and admirable.”  Sri Yukteswar

These words made a deep impression, and the image of the beautiful dead lady stays with me.

I grew up in the south and not wanting to make waves.  To this day, I find it difficult, at times, to be direct.  After all, I don’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings!  Perhaps the deeper truth is that I’m afraid of being rejected.

I find that I employ good manners lacking in sincerity more often than I care to admit–which is why the image of the beautiful dead lady hit home.  It gives me pause for thought and a desire to examine my habitual southern, good-girl ways.

There is something gravely lacking in good manners without sincerity, and frankly, it doesn’t feel good to me at all.  I imagine that it doesn’t feel good to the other either–at least at some level.

Inauthenticity is selfish, or so it seems to me.  Yet, candor with courtesy can be a challenging balance to strike.  It takes courage and love.  Candor with courtesy can sting a bit at times but it certainly feels better to me than inauthentic good manners.

I’m going to keep the image of the beautiful dead lady in my mind as I interact with others.  It will be my reminder to always strive for candor with courtesy.

What is your experience with being direct and with manners?

Are you interested in exploring your cultural and family habits?  Would you like support in establishing habits that serve rather than hinder you?  Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• Beautiful and Courageous
• The Good, The True, The Beautiful
• Grief Expressed

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 12 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: authenticity, Courage, love

“To love both the invisible God, the Repository of All Virtues, and visible man, apparently possessed of none is often baffling!  But ingenuity is equal to the maze.  Inner research soon exposes a unity in all human minds–the stalwart kinship of selfish motive.  In one sense at least, the brotherhood of man stands revealed.  An aghast humility follows this leveling discovery.  It ripens into compassion for one’s fellows, blind to the healing potencies of the soul awaiting exploration.”  Gandha Baba

That quote made me chuckle.  It reminds me of the story of the angry woman in New York City.  A truck cuts her off and she leans out of her car window shaking her fist angrily at the other driver.  She desperately tries to find the words to express her outrage and finally shouts, “You…you weird expression of God, you!”

I’m terribly aware of my selfishness today. I, too, am a weird expression of God.  If I can hold that awareness with a certain equanimity then every encounter (with others and myself) will become a little gentler.  If I hold that awareness with judgment and shame then the encounters will no doubt be harsh and abrasive.  The choice is mine.

What do you choose today?

Related Posts:

• Why I Meditate
• Resisting Now
• Pain in the Butt

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 6 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: awareness, compassion, judgment, selfishness, shame

I’ve been thinking about food a lot lately.  I’ve decided it’s time to clean up my act.  My diet has gone to pot in the past month with my move, Daddy’s diagnosis, and the death of Buttercup.  I’ve been eating crap and I feel like crap as a result.  Eating poorly also impacts me in other areas as well.  It is time to reel myself back to mindful eating.

I want to clean up my eating habits for four reasons:

1. To feel better.
2. To get healthy and strong.
3. To support my spiritual journey.
4. To lose some weight.

I know that the way I am currently eating is not working.  I feel sluggish, bloated, and foggy.  My energy is down.  I’ve gained a few pounds.  I’d even say that my current way of eating is interfering with my spiritual journey because I’m eating unconsciously.

I could use food as a way to deepen my spiritual life instead of as a hindrance.  Eating can become part of my sadhana–part of my spiritual practices.  I only need to bring intention to my eating–mindful eating.

I found an article on Elephant Journal by Tina Fossella, MFT on mindful eating the other day.  These are the basic tips she shares:

1. Prepare a clean table, eliminating all distractions.
2. Prepare food and portion on plate before sitting down.
3. Sit down and relax.  Take a few deep breaths.  Bring your attention to your body and any tension there.
4. Notice how the food looks (shape, color, texture)
5. Smell the food before eating.
6. Say a heartfelt thank you (I added this one).
7. Taste each bite, noting the varieties of tastes.  Put down the fork when becoming distracted and bring attention back to breath.
8. Notice the sounds around you as well as the sounds of eating.
9. Bring you awareness to your body.  Notice how you are sitting in your chair, how you take your bites.  Notice feelings of fullness and satiety.
10. Once finished, sit quietly to allow yourself to process the experience of eating.

I have printed out this list and I intend to eat my main meal, at least, using these tips.

I am interested to see how shifting from eating mindlessly to mindful eating affects me.

What is your experience with mindful eating versus unconscious eating?

Are you interested in exploring your habits?  Would you like support in establishing habits that serve rather than hinder you?  Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• Dealing with Overwhelm
• All Else is Madness
• The Light of Awareness

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 10 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: attention, awareness, distractions, food, habit, health, intention, mindfulness, spiritual practices

“If we can just quiet down all the oughts and shoulds in ourselves, if we can be finished with that whole protestant ethic trip we’ve been on, we will see that we are really already further out than we give ourselves credit for being.  We keep thinking we have to get behind ourselves and push, when all the time we are actually being propelled full speed ahead.  When we see that, we recognize that sadhana (spiritual practice) isn’t something we do to get ourselves somewhere; it’s something we do to get ourselves out of the way, so we can stop being obstacles to the process.”  Ram Dass, Paths to God: Living the Bhagavad Gita

3 steps to get out of your own way:

1. Quiet down.

2. Let go of oughts and shoulds.

3. Engage in spiritual practice (sadhana).

Related Posts:

• Thoughts on Love
• The Practice of Noting What You Experience
• 3-2-1 Shadow Process

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 14 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: Becoming, spiritual practice

“What if, when I meet another person, instead of being preoccupied with our individual differences or with who I remember her as being last time, I go beyond all that, I see the soul, I see the other being who is just like me?  Then every moment is a fresh moment.”  Ram Dass

I repeatedly fall into the trap of expecting people to be who I think they are.  I react to people based on my expectations and assumptions of them.  I assume you won’t change–maybe even that you can’t change.  I only see an extremely limited view of you.  I put you in a box and our interactions follow accordingly.  There is no room in that box for something fresh and new.  Every moment has the potential to become stale.

I did this to my Dad for decades and as a result, we repeated the same old distant, angry relationship for all those years.  I have done this to many others, too.  I have even done it to myself.  Others have done it to me.

However, when I let go of my expectations, assumptions, and judgments of you–when I release you from the box–something loosens and breaks free.  Possibilities open to us.  I begin to see your complexity and richness.  I begin to see your paradox and uniqueness.  I begin to see your beauty and your soul.  I see me in you.  Our relationship has the potential now to expand and deepen.  The box bursts open and something fresh and new emerges every moment.

I experience the fresh and new with my Dad every time I visit with him now.  I experience it with others.  Beauty emerges.  Beauty bowls over the limits I have erected.  I am astonished and grateful.

Every moment has the possibility of being fresh and new.

Would you like help in releasing your expectations, assumptions, and judgments that limit your relationships?  Would you like help in finding something fresh and new in every moment with those around you?   Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• The Power of Presence
• A Distinction Between Pain and Suffering
• A Tad Tetchy

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 5 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: assumptions, expand, judgments, possibilities, relationships

I am moved to tears as I read Ram Dass’ words, in Paths to God, about his devotion to his guru.  There is something compelling and yet frightening about that kind of deep love and surrender.

I had a similar kind of devotional love for my youth pastor and his wife when I was 12, but when they left for the mission field I was lost.  I surrendered to evangelical Christianity for over 25 years but then found the system of thought extremely limited and shallow.  Years after that, I surrendered to the “doomer” mentality only to find their view as limited and rigid as evangelical Christianity.  The problem wasn’t any of them, of course.  The problem was that I wanted to cling to these people and systems beyond their capacity to expand with me.

Interestingly, in the last couple of days, I have considered changing my meditation mantra back to one I did many years ago:  “Jesus, mercy.”  Christianity is my cultural heritage and what buoyed me through many a rough year.  I left the church and Christianity because I simply outgrew it.  Just as I have no desire to return to grade school, I have no desire to return to the faith of my youth.  However, I wonder what an integral Christianity looks like.

As I have been reading the integral thinkers, such as Ken Wilber, Terry Patten, Joe Perez, Brian Swimme, and others, I have been introduced to an integral spirituality that is quite compelling:   “An integral spirituality will recognize the universal transcendent core of the world’s spiritual traditions while simultaneously embracing the multiplicity of religious practices and beliefs. It will provide an integrating framework, grounded in spiritual experience, which unites the disparate theological systems by representing each as a unique but partial view of the same infinite divine reality.”

I am deeply drawn to integral theory and through it I may find my way back–or rather forward–to an integral, expanding, and evolving Christianity.  Perhaps a return to my old mantra, with fresh meaning, is fitting after all–finding my way forward.

Would you like help in finding your way forward?   Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• It’s Good to be Alive
• Relaxing Resistance and Irritation
• A Distinction Between Pain and Suffering

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 13 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: beliefs, integral spirituality, integral theory, ken wilber

I’m visiting my Dad this week.  I can hear him snoring in his bedroom as I write and sip coffee.  Last night as I put medicated ointment on his rashed back and massaged his neck, he said, “Carla, I’m glad you’re here.  You got here just in time.  I was really getting down.”  Bless his heart.

We long for those moments of connection, don’t we?  One touch can bring us back from the brink of despair.  We forget that we are always connected.  We forget that we are one and all that is necessary is to remember that connection.

When I remember, it is easier to open my heart to another.  It is easier to be present.  It is easier to love without attachment and expectations.  And, it is easier to receive love.

Love can awaken us out of the illusion of separateness, out of duality, and we realize we are not alone.  We have never been alone, nor will we ever be alone–but we forget.

For most of us, remembering takes work and intention.  This is why spiritual practices are important to me.  I want to remember.  I want to be present and available to give and receive love fully and freely.  Spiritual practices help me awaken from the illusion of separateness and love flows more easily.

What helps you awaken and remember?

Would you like help in awakening from the illusion of separateness so love flows easily in your life?   Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• I Am Not As Vulnerable As I Fear
• How to Relax and Let Go of the Melodrama
• Dealing with Overwhelm

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 8 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: attachment, connection, expectation, illusion, intention, spiritual practice, spiritual practices

“Still waters run deep.”  English Proverb

It’s been a month since I’ve written in my journal and probably that long since I’ve sat in meditation and read spiritual literature.  I’ve done all three today and intend for this to be the first day of the return to my morning practices.  They are important to me.  They make a difference in the quality of my life and in my contribution to those around me.  They still the depths of my emotional waters, allowing the surface waters to swirl and rage as they will.

Do you remember the divers during the tsunami in southern Asia?   They were deep in the still waters of the ocean when the wave roared above them. They only knew of its existence upon surfacing.  They were safe.  They had survived.

I’ve been caught up in the surface waters lately and have forgotten the safety, comfort, and support of the deep, still waters.  It is not so much that I’ve forgotten really, it’s that I’ve stubbornly remained on the surface, frantically kicking to stay afloat the swirling, rushing, and rocky shallows.  I have known that all I had to do was take a deep breath, relax, and drop into the stillness.

As I drop down into the still waters, the heaviness eases and I am able to enter the current of peace.  I feel the soothing support of the deep calm.

Can you relate?

Would you like help in finding deep peace and calm in the midst of your hectic life?  Would you like to find your still waters?   Then take advantage of a Complimentary 45-minute Discovery Session (a $120 value) that I am offering for free for a limited time.  Contact me to schedule your complimentary discovery session by clicking on the Contact Carla tab.

Related Posts:

• How to Clear Brain Clutter in 20-minutes or Less
• Minor Distractions
• Restless Mind

© Carla for Sacred Witness, 2011. | Permalink | 9 comments | Add to del.icio.us
Post tags: calm, deep peace, Meditation, morning practices, proverb, stillness