But beyond that, this is a reminder to double check all of your backups.  I was writing tonight on my first draft of the third novel and realized that something was off.  I felt like I was writing sections that had been written before.

It turns out I’d been 15+ chapters into the novel, and I’ve lost 5 of those chapters.  I don’t remember a lick of what I wrote…and it’s all gone.  I have snippets of it…but I don’t know what any of it was beyond those snippets.  The backups I was certain I had are NOT where they were supposed to be.  And I had cleaned out my computer a couple of months ago when I had to take it in to be serviced. 

So backup everything.  And double check your backups frequently to make sure they are up to date.  I don’t want any of you to suffer the pain I’m feeling right now!!

Once best friends, now we barely speak.
Against my every wish.

Our beliefs the same, you gave me them
Against my every action

You think you are in the right
Against my every thought

Deep trust and faith you felt in me
Against my swirling moods

Now it’s only shame I see
Against me every step

How am I to win you back
Against many obstacles?

I should give up, move on
Against your tide I swim

But my behaviors now mirror yours
Against how I want to be

Is my future doomed to copy you;
Against my only children?

***************

Again cutting it close to the wire, but I got it in in time.  I’m not entirely happy w/ it…the 100 word restriction made one line awkward, but perhaps I’ll fix it some day.

Again, this post was made possible by Velvet Verbosity’s 100 Word Challenge. Go by there to see some other awesome writers!

Dishes, Laundry, Beds to be made, Children to be fed –

Oooh, look!  It’s So You Think You can Dance! Premiering tonight!

Dinner dishes sitting, dishwater cooling, piles of laundry to be folded –

Did I update my blogs today?  Oh, computer, you suck me in – look! – Fussy posted pictures! Jennifer’s making me giggle again!  Oh dear, and Holly is being animated again!  How can I compete? Do I need a new layout? Look at the new games available!

Wait – it’s one in the morning!  Crap, and I still have a messy house, and my family is asleep. What did I miss?

************

So glad to finally be posting my 100 Word Challenge hosted by VelvetVerbosity again! Check her out for more great 100 words!!

I’m writing again.  Leaving the world of the Old West and turning to modern times…witches are alive and well…and overrunning my thought processes. 

Thanks to the prodding of a good friend, and a little inspiration (from where, I do not know) - I wrote about 1650 words tonight.  I like them.  Quite a bit, actually.  My characters very quickly took on lives of their own and led me to places I was not expecting.  It’s exciting.  I want to write more, but tonight is no longer any good.  I’m tired, and my partner in crime is off to bed in preparation for an early appointment.  And really, Red Light Green Light is no fun alone.

It’s good to be back.  It’s good to see my crazy muses again (and to meet these new ones that are possibly more insane than the originals).  To reacquaint myself with familiar characters, and learn about new ones.  It still feels odd after so many years with my Lisabeth crew to be playing with new people; but I’m trying to just relax and enjoy the ride. 

And while I’m saying this is not a paranormal romance…I can’t have you meet Elijah and Gwen without using this small gem of interaction that they had tonight:

“Relax,” she tapped the side of her coffee cup with a nail. “I’m not about to beg you to take me back. I told you, I heard about your father. I wanted to see you again. Simple as that.”
“Simple as that?”
“Well…”
He narrowed his eyes.
She lifted her coffee cup back up to her lips with a wicked smile, “I may want to jump your bones a little, too.”

I don’t know why it took so long for me to come back.  But I’m here.  I’m happy again.  I have renewed vigor and joy in my writing.  A year of editing and querying is very draining.  I knew I needed to dive back in, but I struggled with it.  After 1600 words I think I can safely say that the struggle is over.  I’ll keep my muses plied with liquor, and hopefully they’ll continue to agree with me!

Having done both of these in the past year and experiencing the ups and downs of both situations I have to say that it’s comparable.  The big difference, of course, is that agents aren’t one big company all chattering about the best way to get you to STOP querying…or are they?

Step 1: You send out your first round of queries - You fill out the application for SSI
Step 2: You wait to hear back from agents (some get back quick, others filter in) - You WAIT to hear something from SSI
Step 3: You get several rejections, and maybe a nibble (a request for a partial!) - You get sent to the government-paid therapists for evaluation
Step 4: The ultimate rejection comes (your dream agent) - You get DENIED SSI, despite obvious need.

Rinse, Repeat…

Step 5: Send out MORE queries - Apply for an appeal

….

I think you get the picture.   I’m currently in the stage of appeal with agents.  I feel as though I’m being beaten down.  That we are going with the mindset of “deny many so they will never return” - so slushpiles migh decrease.

Yes, I am fully aware that this is not the ACTUAL case, but I’m just in that place.  I got that way with SSI, too - but I didn’t give up on that, and I’m not giving up on this.  I will keep plugging away and hope that the dream agent I recently emailed doesn’t reject me out of the gate *g* 

In the meantime I know a new 100 Word challenge is up, so I  must go find out what it is so that perhaps I can post this week!

Today my husband had surgery on his sinuses and is recovering from that. 

My youngest, for those that don’t know, has CF.  Over the past two days she’s become ill.  We spoke to her pulmonologist today and she was set up for an appoitnment tomorrow.  I don’t know if she’ll stay in the hospital when we get there because she’s downgraded since I spoke to the office.

So the next two more weeks I’ll continue to be a bit MIA.  I will attempt to continue the 100 words to try to distract me, but everything depends on what happens tomorrow; and the day after that…etc.

A darkened room, a flickering light, a whispered prayer, peace fills my soul.  The white, the red, the blue and the green; each flickering along together.  I sit and watch, absorb the peace, the few minutes I have on my own.  Tomorrow brings more turmoil and upheaval, but tonight is mine. 

I picture my family, and my friends, at peace, healthy and near me.  Imagery is a powerful tool, and I dream of it working again.

Light dims not with a breath, but a lack of as I snuff out each light by hand. Tonight I will dream in peace.

**********

This is my first week participating in the 100 Word Challenge hosted by VelvetVerbosity.  I’m hoping it sparks my creativity back into overdrive!! 

A kickass female protagonist leads the charge in this alternate-earth fantasy. The Wildcat’s Victory is the second in a series (the first being Deadly Enterprise) by Christopher Hoare. 

Gisel Matah is not only beautiful, she’s strong and smart as a whip.  She knows more than she’s letting on as the book opens.  Through slow reveals we learn the backstory of the novel (for those that haven’t yet read Deadly Enterprise), and see the deception behind every character as they try to protect their own interests as well as the interests of their superiors.

At first I found the book confusing, but within 10 pages I was hooked and reading more to clear up any remaining confusion I felt.  Christopher shoves you knee-deep in intrigue and action and doesn’t let you go until the last page of this spell-binding novel. 

See an earth locked in a time of near-progress, hindered by sins of the past and present, a war of wits and weapons. 

Get The Wildcat’s Victory and prepare to sit on the edge of your seat, using your own wits to keep up with Gisel’s.

 Last night I did something I haven’t done in about 4 years.

I went to Barnes and Noble.  I wandered the shelves with no specific book or genre in mind.  I let the pictures and titles catch my eye.  One did.  I picked it up, I read the blurb.  It was intriguing.

I set it down, grabbed another book by the same author.  I flipped through, got to the back where there was an excerpt of the first book.  I read that excerpt, and was hooked. 

I picked up the first book again, I glanced at the price.  I bit my lip…and then held onto the book.  All the way to the cash register where I paid for it. 

I bought a book.  For ME.  For FUN.  Because I WANTED to.  It’s one that I want to read, not that I have to read.  I have no obligation to get through the book or to review it or to do anything but sit back and enjoy it.

Don’t get me wrong, I love doing the reviews.  I have discovered several very good books that I’ve enjoyed thoroughly…but there is always that small sense of obligation.  

It’s been a VERY long time since I’ve purchased a book just by wandering the shelves (something I used to do frequently, but finances have curbed that small pleasure).  And honestly the last book I purchased that way left a VERY bad taste in my mouth.  But I’m excited.  To read a book for fun.  I’ve read all of my books through my April 11th review, so I can sit back and enjoy reading for the first time in a long time…with no deadline.

 Totally new concept.

Most writers know that once they enter the mindset of writing and/or editing they are focused on making their novels tight and clean and as top notch as they can.  Your brain goes into auto-edit-mode no matter what you’re looking at.  A newspaper article, an online article, and books. 

I’ve found it tough picking up these books that I’m reviewing and reading them for enjoyment and for the stories sake.  My mind seizes on errors and grammar…and I wind up frustrated.

The toughest for me was the recent childrens book series.  It was also the biggest alarm clock I’ve ever had.  My pessimistic and evil internal editor shrieked at the voice, the way certain things were written.  I struggled with the first couple of pages, put the book down and didn’t touch it for two days.  Did I hate the book?  Heck no, I just couldn’t get past things that my mind was used to searching for…

I had to sit down and tell myself, “It’s a children’s book.  You are reading this for FUN.  Stop looking for what’s wrong, and start looking for what’s RIGHT!”

Turns out, I burned through the book in an hour.  I slipped right back into the mindset I had when I was reading the Babysitter’s Club books and really enjoyed myself!  Right after I picked up another book for an upcoming review.  I thought it was going to be tough (and it is) because of all of the facts to learn and get straight (familiarizing myself with the world/characters)…but I’m finding myself caught up in it only 20 pages in. 

It’s exciting to read again…

I just have to bitch-slap my internal editor every once in a while so that I can enjoy reading again!