He’s magnetic. Every hand he shakes, every laugh he draws feels like part of a carefully orchestrated symphony. But as the evening wears on, small cracks begin to show. A sharp tone with his assistant over a missed cue. A joke that veers a bit too close to cruelty. By the end of the night, you’re left wondering, Is this who he’s always been? Or has his position changed him?

We’ve all heard the saying: “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely.” It’s catchy, but I don’t buy it. Power doesn’t plant new seeds of greed, arrogance, or cruelty. It reveals the ones that were already there, hidden beneath the surface.

The question isn’t whether power will expose us—it will. The real question is: What will it find?

What Power Really Does

Power is a mirror and a magnifying glass. When someone steps into a position of influence, they gain freedom. Freedom to act without as much fear of consequences. Freedom to make decisions that ripple outward. Freedom to reveal who they truly are.

That freedom doesn’t corrupt. It simply strips away the constraints that once kept their impulses and character in check. If someone uses power to dominate, manipulate, or exploit, it’s not because power made them that way. It’s because those tendencies were always there, waiting for the opportunity to emerge.

But here’s the hopeful truth: power doesn’t just reveal flaws. It can also magnify greatness. Think of leaders who inspire not through fear, but through their ability to elevate others. Leaders who wield their influence like a torch, lighting the way for those around them. The difference isn’t the power itself—it’s what lies within the person holding it.

James’s Story: Leadership in the Spotlight

Let me tell you about my friend James. A few years ago, he was promoted to COO—a position he’d worked toward for years. James had big ideas, a clear vision, and a genuine desire to make a difference.

But over time, I noticed him changing; his energy shifted from building to protecting. He started avoiding risks, opting instead to “play it safe” and defend his growing success. His language became territorial: “my team,” “my decisions,” “my results.”

One evening, when both our wives were out of town, we went to grab a bite. I leveled a very pointed question over dinner, “James, are you leading, or are you defending?”

The question hung in the air. He put down his fork and sighed. “Honestly? I don’t know. I’ve been so focused on proving I deserve this role that I’ve forgotten why I wanted it in the first place.”

James had fallen into a common trap: equating power with self-preservation. But power isn’t finite. It doesn’t need to be hoarded or defended. It’s a tool, and its value depends on how you use it.

The Triad of Leadership: Power, Wisdom, and Love

To wield power well, leaders need more than ambition or intelligence – they need to cultivate conscious leadership. Power alone is like a car with no brakes or steering. To navigate it successfully, you need two essential companions: wisdom and love.

1. Power: The raw ability to create change. Power is neutral—it’s the energy to act. But untempered, it can become destructive.
2. Wisdom: The capacity to see beyond ego, to consider long-term consequences, and to act with clarity and discernment. Wisdom tempers power’s speed with direction.
3. Love: Not soft sentimentality, but a deep commitment to the well-being of others. Love ensures that power is used not to exploit, but to elevate.

These three elements form the triad of conscious leadership. Without wisdom, power becomes reckless. Without love, power becomes oppressive. But with all three, power transforms from a selfish pursuit into a force for collective good.

What Power Reveals About Us

Power demands that we ask ourselves a deeply uncomfortable question: What does my leadership reveal about me?

For James, the revelation wasn’t easy. He realized his fear of failure had overshadowed his original desire to lead with impact. To his credit, after our dinner, he began to shift—taking risks that aligned with his values, mentoring younger leaders, and focusing on building trust with his team.

That shift wasn’t immediate, but it was profound. When we checked in almost a year later, James had become the kind of leader others looked to not because he demanded it, but because he inspired it.

Your Leadership in the Spotlight

Now, imagine yourself in James’s place—or even in the spotlight of that gala host. We all hold power in some sphere of our lives. It might be as a parent, shaping the next generation. A manager, guiding a team. A decision-maker, influencing an organization.

Power will reveal who you are. The question is, are you ready for what it will find?

1. Cultivate Wisdom: Make self-reflection a habit. Ask yourself tough questions: Who benefits from my decisions? Am I leading for the long term or for the next milestone?
2. Lead with Love: Center others in your leadership. How do your choices impact their growth, their dignity, their sense of belonging?
3. Use Power with Intent: Don’t fear power. Embrace it as a tool for transformation. Choose to build rather than dominate, to illuminate rather than control.

The Final Question

At the end of the gala, I watched the host one last time. He stood in the glow of the room, surrounded by admirers, but his face told a different story—a flicker of doubt, perhaps, about the legacy he was creating.

That image has stayed with me. Not because it was extraordinary, but because it was universal. We are all standing in that spotlight, whether we realize it or not.

So I leave you with this: When the light of power reveals who you are, what will it find? And more importantly—will you have the courage to use it for good?

The post Power Doesn’t Corrupt – It Reveals appeared first on Sagatica.

That hit hard. And it was true. In my rush to “get things done,” I’d lost sight of what was happening in the moment. I was pushing for outcomes, not leading with presence. And here’s the truth: that’s weak leadership.

Let’s be honest: most of us in leadership are wired for action. We drive results, push for outcomes. But if we’re not careful, that drive can backfire. My colleague nudged me awake to this fact. I was running that meeting with discipline, steering everyone “on track” through an overloaded agenda. I was three steps ahead, crossing off items and chasing the next issue, so when Dan raised a valid concern, I brushed it aside. Why? We were running late, and I didn’t want to lose face or time.

Leading with presence isn’t for the faint-hearted; it requires courage and conscious leadership. It takes guts to fully show up, especially when things get uncomfortable. Conscious leadership means linking the drive for results with the need to truly connect with your team – it’s about combining wisdom with power. Are you bold enough to lead this way?

Presence changes everything

Your presence has weight. Whether you realize it or not, your team feels it. They know when you’re fully engaged, and they can see right through you when you’re simply waiting for them to finish talking so you can move on. That’s the moment when trust is either built – or broken.

When I wasn’t present in that meeting, I sent a clear message: “I don’t care.” That’s a failure in leadership. But presence isn’t about pretending to agree or playing nice; it’s about the courage to notice the energy, the tension, and the unspoken dynamics in the room. It’s about being willing to pause and say, “Let’s dig into this” when your instincts push you to keep things moving.

Conscious leaders are the ones who build trust and alignment by staying present, even when things get tough. They’re unafraid to slow down, ask challenging questions, and tune into what’s simmering beneath the surface.

How to bring presence to your role

1. Trim the agenda: A bloated agenda is a fast track to distraction. Keep it lean. Make room for meaningful conversations. Move simple updates to email and set aside time for real connection with your team. Ask about their challenges and perspectives, not just their to-dos.
2. Read the room: Watch body language, tone, and energy. Are people tuned out? Are they tense? Notice it. Address it. Memorable meetings balance efficiency with authenticity.
3. Lean into the hard conversations: When the temperature rises, don’t sidestep it. Stay calm and create space for the tough discussions you’ve been avoiding. This is where conscious leadership thrives – gently and with purpose.
4. Reflect and adjust: After each meeting, ask yourself: What did I miss? Were there signals I overlooked? This self-awareness is essential for conscious leadership.

Ready to lead more consciously?

If you think leadership is just about hitting KPIs and moving fast, you’re overlooking something powerful. Presence is the foundation of conscious leadership, and it’s a game-changer. It builds trust, opens up dialogue, and ultimately fuels the very results you’re driving for.

So, if you’re ready to become the leader your team needs – a leader who’s present, connected, and impactful – let’s connect. Our Leadership Evolution Program and Executive Evolution Coaching are crafted to transform how you lead your teams and how your teams drive the organization forward.

Reach out, and let’s embark on the journey to a more conscious, impactful kind of leadership.

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The power of being aware and conscious of something is to make choices. When you’re not conscious of options, you’re bound to the limits of auto-pilot, and your future will look much like your past. As a leader responsible for results and change, options are key. In this way, you can be intentional about which ‘space’ will be best for your team’s needs, the situation, and individual strengths.

As we dive into the three spaces, bear in mind that there isn’t a superior space. Rather, it’s your ability to consciously toggle between taking, holding, and shaping space that correlates to the engagement, satisfaction, and effectiveness of your team. And I reiterate for emphasis – the power of this knowledge lies in your ability to intentionally switch spaces in service to your team’s needs.

Taking Space

Intentions: You take space in order to assert control and authority over the team. In this mode you’re prioritizing your ideas, decisions, and opinions, often relegating others to follow your lead without much room for collaboration or input.

Look and Feel: When you take space, you step into the middle and dominate the meeting or conversation. You have something critical to share or something urgent to demand. This is especially on display when a team is in a time crunch either because of delays, or due to an imminent opportunity. You may also take space when you are with your peers and have a compelling need to express your thoughts or feelings. When you take space, team members can feel overwhelmed and stifled, and overshadowed. Too much taking space, and you discourage open discussions and innovation. So be intentional about taking space.

How To Take Space:

• • Clear Expectations and Boundaries: Set clear expectations and boundaries for your team. Clearly communicate the goals, objectives, and the scope of work. This provides a framework within which team members can operate while still allowing them the freedom to innovate and contribute creatively within those parameters.
  • Decisive Decision-Making: Make decisions decisively based on your expertise and the available information. When the team sees a leader making well-informed choices, it instills confidence and a sense of direction. And, leaders often have context their team does not have, so sometimes your decisions will not make sense even when you do your best to explain the reasoning behind your decisions. That’s why you may need to take space for a top-down approach.

Holding Space

Intentions: You hold space in order to create a supportive and open environment where team members can express themselves, share ideas, and collaborate freely. Your focus on active listening, empathy, and fostering a sense of psychological safety fosters a welcoming container for your people to pour themselves in to.

Look and Feel: When you hold space, you step to the side and put your arms around everyone (metaphorically). Team members feel valued and respected, and they experience a sense of belonging, knowing their opinions matter. The atmosphere is conducive to brainstorming, problem-solving, and creative thinking. This leadership space encourages collaboration, trust, and mutual support among team members.

How To Hold Space:

• • Active Listening Sessions: Organize regular one-on-one or group sessions where team members can openly express their thoughts and concerns, as well as suggestions and feelings. Lean in and listen actively without interrupting, and validate their feelings and perspectives to create a safe space for communication.
  • Feedback Culture: Establish a culture of constructive and continuous feedback. Then encourage team members to provide feedback to each other and to you as a leader. This reinforces the idea that team member’s input is valued and contributes to personal and team growth.

Shaping Space

Intentions: You shape space in order to guide and influence the team’s direction while allowing for flexibility and input. You provide a clear vision, and allow the team to set goals and channel their efforts toward achieving objectives. This approach involves a balance between offering guidance and enabling autonomy.

Look and Feel: When you shape space, you are up on the balcony, high above the fray of day-to-day action. From this perch, you provide team members a sense of purpose and direction. They understand the broader goals and their roles within the team. The environment is dynamic, encouraging creativity within the boundaries of the established vision. This leadership space cultivates a sense of ownership and accountability among team members.

How To Shape Space:

• • Craft a Compelling Vision: Clearly articulate a compelling vision that outlines the team’s purpose (why we show up to work), long-term goals (what we need to get done), and potential impact (how we’re making a difference). Make sure team members make a personal connection between their individual contributions and this larger vision.
  • Practice Equifinality: Provide clear direction, and be flexible within the established boundaries. Allow team members the freedom to experiment, try new approaches, adapt to changing circumstances, and figure out for themselves how to reach the outcomes you’ve set. Empower them to make decisions within their areas of responsibility, fostering a sense of ownership and accountability.

In a nutshell then:

• Taking Space: an ‘alpha’ attitude that command attention.
• Holding Space: a welcoming presence that fosters belonging.
• Shaping Space: a purpose-driven approach that generates autonomy.

In the interplay between taking, holding, and shaping space you weave a leadership presence that includes control along with trust and vulnerability, and visionary purpose. Taken together, these ‘leadership spaces’ enable you to craft an environment that inspires, renews, and elevates your teams. As leaders, we are not just navigators but also architects of the spaces that define our teams’ journeys, and it is in the intentional balance of these spaces that we discover the true essence of effective and conscious leadership.

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The pit of confusion is littered with data dumps, opinions, and half-answers that force your boss or colleague to exhaust their brain while trying to make sense of your message. By contrast, holding their attention and compelling them to stick around takes structure and finesse. Specifically, it takes 4Ps: Problem, Proposal, Plan, and Progress. Let’s climb on.

1. Problem: Get their attention with a Why

Enroll them by clearly and concisely identifying the problem, before you make a proposal. Wouldn’t you run screaming from a dentist that proposes extracting your tooth before she takes an x-ray? So begin by showing your “x-ray” of the issue, like for example, that your team is inefficient and getting mad at one another because they are still working with sticky notes in excel sheets. Make the other party in your conversation fully aware of the problem and its costs.

“I’ve noticed that our current project management system sows confusion within the team. For instance, last week, we missed a crucial deadline because of outdated information from the system. Delays cost real money, and it is clear that we need a more efficient and user-friendly solution.”

2. Proposal: Make your offer with a What

Now share your proposal – what your solution looks like. Be concise and use straightforward language – no need for fancy words or jargon. Imagine you’re explaining your proposal to a friend over coffee. Make it crystal clear, just like that one time you gave perfect directions to a new team member.

“To address this problem, I propose exploring new project management software that aligns with our team’s changing needs and workflow. We need a system that allows seamless collaboration, real-time updates, and better task tracking. I believe the right software will eliminate delays and make cut out stress.”

3. Plan: Chart the path with a How

It’s time to reveal how you’ll pull this off, now that you’ve got their attention and they’re open to your proposal. Take them on a helicopter level journey, sketching out your planned process, avoiding excruciating detail, and sprinkling flexibility into your logical sequence.

“I’m envisioning a four-step plan to implement the new project management system. We’ll start with research to figure out the best-suited software options based for our requirements and budget. We can do a pilot run with sub-group to test the software in our world. We’ll then refine and adjust from the pilot feedback. Lastly, we’ll provide engaging training to ensure that everyone embraces and uses the new system.”

4. Progress: Keep the momentum with Where We’re At

Updating your boss or colleagues on milestones isn’t an afterthought, it’s an integral part of the process. Sharing progress isn’t bragging; it’s celebrating achievements and acknowledging the team’s work. And don’t shy away from sharing hiccups and bumps, how you and your team overcame them, and the lessons learned. It shows authenticity and fosters trust.

“I want to assure you that I’ll keep you updated throughout the process. I’ll provide regular progress reports on our research, pilot testing results, and the overall implementation timeline. This is how I’m planning to work together to make any necessary adjustments and ensure a successful outcome.”

Pro Tip: Story time

Our brains and hearts are hardwired to connect with stories. Weave compelling narratives and metaphors throughout your presentation to captivate your audience. And if you have the chops for it, add bits of humor to highlight key points. And use visuals where possible like that time we had to make a quick decision based on confusing data, and Jim drew three pie charts on the board to clarify complex information and prevent a mishap.

There you have it, the 4Ps. You can use them on the fly in a five minute conversation, or deliberately to prepare a thirty minute presentation.

So go forth, ye fabulous leaders, and communicate with power and finesse.

In the spirit of wisdom, love, and power

Eric

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You can relate, right? He hates being perceived as unfair. It reminds me (for a second time in a week) of Abraham Lincoln saying, “You can please some of the people all the time, and all the people some of the time, but you can’t please all the people all the time.” You can’t avoid displeasing someone, especially direct reports, and then they’ll think you’re not being fair.

Fairness, if you think about it, is self-focused. When I don’t get my way, or if I think I got less than someone else, or if I feel like I’m not part of the in-group, that all feels unfair. The common thread is “I,” how this affects me. And since it’s impossible to please all the people all the time, you’ll be perceived as unfair and, inevitably, you will disappoint.

I’m not being pessimistic, I’m realistic. As a leader you run into the issue of fairness whether you’re redrawing the org chart, finalizing a budget, planning a novel project, or posting a new role. Your decisions take into account different teams, people, scenarios, and opportunities, and how they affect and balance one another. Other folks don’t realize all the variables of your decision, and somebody will be disappointed by your decision. Trying to not disappoint anyone is a quixotic effort destined to fail.

Of course, try to treat everyone equally, but it’s hard to apply this flawlessly. It’s hard because people behave differently, then you respond differently, and then you appear inconsistent (often for reasons that other people don’t know). So you will disappoint.

Even when you set clear rules and work to apply them consistently across the board, you’ll disappoint. Because there are times when you choose to bend the rules, sometimes even break them for a greater cause. And then someone will feel that you’re unfair, and you will disappoint.

Here’s my point: while normal folks hate to disappoint, you have to accept that you will disappoint.

The post You Will Disappoint! appeared first on Sagatica.

It’s still too soon for bravado about productivity. We’re in week three of isolation, and getting more comfortable with the weirdness. But we’re not quite there yet. You’re probably working from home, and if you have kids then they’re home and you’re a full-time professional and teacher, and your normal productivity routines are disrupted.

Yes, yes, I know, opportunity and crisis go hand in hand. But right now we still need grounding, healing, and kindness more than we need productivity on steroids. The time for explosive action is near, but not when we’re reeling from the shock of reality change, and considering what “normal” might look like.

Unfortunately, our collective addiction to crazy busy (and this productivity “porn” it yields) will cause our healing to take longer and our pain to run deeper than it has to.

We’re all affected: scary dreams, scrambled thoughts, aching bodies, upended routines, and moods that swing from hopeful to hopeless. Fact is, we’re collectively experiencing shock, grief, and anxiety.

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Panic, over worrying, deep anxiety, incessant fretting, though, is unnecessary.
Panic is a selfish impulse that dims your thinking and closes your heart.
Panic always leads to unwise and dangerous choices – dangerous to you and others.
Panic is an immature indulgence in a time that calls for mature leadership.
Panic is an unconscious reaction just when we need conscious leadership.
Panic isn’t the answer to the pandemic driven crisis we’re in.

Nor is the answer a stream of positive affirmations designed to drown out your fear.
Nor is the answer simple platitudes (“this too shall pass.” Or, “Everything happens for a reason.”)
Nor is the answer some metaphysical explanation that masks your sense of powerlessness.
Nor is the answer constant consumption of muddled information that keeps you triggered.

The answer is (as it has always been) COURAGE.

Courage isn’t bravado.
Courage isn’t foolhardy action.
Courage isn’t a devil-may-care lack of caution.
Courage isn’t ignoring fear.

Courage is walking toward what you’d rather run away from.
Walking. Toward. What. You’d. Rather. Run. Away. From.

When you’re courageous, you lean toward the scary stuff, and penetrate it with wisdom and with love.
When you’re courageous you heed the fear, hear its urgency, and proceed with intention and purpose.

Now is the time for your courage – as a leader, a human, a community member, and a family member.

I offer you a three-step approach to cultivating courage, first for you personally, and next for your organization.

The process is Feel, Face, and Embrace, and here’s how you cultivate and apply courage in the face of chaos:

Personally

Feel: The beginning of courage is physical awareness of the sensations of fear – flushing heat in the face and neck, increasing blood pressure in the eyeballs, accelerating heartbeat, tightening shoulders, and churning or pulsating in the solar plexus or belly. Noticing discomfort is already an act of courage. These sensations are unpleasant, and we’re trained to push them away or hide them. But when you choose to pay attention to what you’re feeling (rather than avoiding, denying, or overwhelming your body), you step toward courage and develop embodied wisdom.

Face: When you “face” your fear you get to see and understand it. When you face your fear you can name it, and you can name the thoughts and beliefs that make up that fear. “Fear of the Unknown,” for example, has distinctions – fear of failure, humiliation, powerlessness, rejection, death. By naming your thoughts you slow down your thought-fueled story and the panic and anxiety that comes with it. You can name the believed-thoughts in your story – “I’m anxious about future opportunities; I’m afraid of looking like an idiot; my family will suffer because of this behavior; this is out of control; if I can’t be heard, then my life’s on hold.”

Your believed-thoughts are mental habits that feed and energize your fear. Ultimately, articulating your believed-thoughts diminishes their grasp on your decisions and choices.

Embrace: Fear is a contraction – it’s pulling back, closing off, and defending. Embracing is an expansion. To embrace my wife, I have to be open and vulnerable, extend myself, and be available to connect. Embrace is the action phase of courage. We can’t eliminate fear, but fear is the gatekeeper to power. When we cower before this gatekeeper, we give up our power and energy. The courageous step is to embrace your fear, hear your inner story, feel your physical discomfort, and not distract yourself. Embrace your fear by taking small (or even large) steps and moving toward what you’d rather run away from. Even two, five, or ten percent forward movement is still forward!

Organizationally

Feel: Begin with acknowledging reality and noticing the fear signals in your people’s behavior. Many  people would rather deny or diminish their feelings with work, worry, “research,” activity, or a variety of drugs. Or you may notice hoarding, hiding, gossiping, fretting, and a variety of made up reasons to chat that are really veiled calls for comforting. By consciously acknowledging your people’s experience you are practicing both courage and presence.

And, obviously, don’t criticize or berate your people, but empathize with them. Acknowledge the individual and collective fears – yours and theirs. Hiding from the fear or being super positive only makes you seem detached and inauthentic.

Face: Turn toward the fear and name it (or them, there’s more than one). Name the threats that you’re seeing. And there are many. Cash position, employee morale, employee communications, logistics and supply chain, possible layoffs, competition, personal wellness, PTO, child care, remote working, health and safety, to name some.
Bring the team together to face fear and make a plan. Actually, make three plans. Plan for your business best case scenario, plan for a worst-case scenario, and plan for a grimly ugly scenario. Yep, it’s scary to face these thoughts and plans, but it’s even scarier to navigate without a plan.

Embrace: Take incremental and consistent action (maybe drastic action, too). Be sure to communicate like your life depends on it, because it does! This is the time to face your fears AND face your people (via video for the most part ). The biggest mistake in crisis is silence – not keeping your people up to date. We are all wired for the negativity bias – assuming things are worse than they are. Communicate your plans, communicate relevant data, and communicate feelings.
(See Arne Sorenson, CEO of Marriott, deliver a brilliant communication)
And realize that your plans are flawed – we’re navigating uncertainty and ambiguity. But take action you must (inset Yoda’s voice), even with flawed plans. Combine awareness, planning, collaboration, and communication to form a dynamic, active, and cohesive team that works toward survival (as needed) and toward continued success.

Finally, remember that fear is like a child – don’t let it drive the car, but don’t lock it in the trunk, either.

I’m prepared to coach and guide in times of crisis and need. Please, please, don’t even hesitate to reach out if I can help you in thinking, deciding, leading, and navigating through this situation.

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Matt Lehrer, CEO of Teamwork Athletic Apparel, made  it a practice to give low- interest loans to his employees — more than 500 loans over 15 years. To get a loan, employees had to create a household budget and share their goals for the loan. But Matt turned down a loan request from a single mother of three who wanted the money to help her ailing mother. Why? Because he was practicing true conscious leadership.

As he coached his employee Anna through the application and budget process, they realized three things: she was motivated by shame, she couldn’t afford the loan, and she needed the money because she was under-utilizing her skills. Rather than giving money right away, Matt had a frank discussion with Anna about how she could be more connected in caring for her mother and relate more honestly with her sisters, how to better manage her budget, and how to increase her income by utilizing her strengths. Anna’s initial disappointment cleared away as she worked with Matt, improved her skills, and increased her income. Her efforts helped her shift from the mindset of a victim to one of empowerment.

Matt was practicing conscious leadership; he used his wisdom to perceive the situation clearly, he courageously extended the discussion beyond his and Anna’s comfort zones, and he honored her intrinsic value. While 35 percent of workers in America claim they’d give up a pay raise — forgo money — to see their leader get fired, they’re not referring to the likes of Matt.

Employees, investors, and other stakeholders are aching for leaders who can be clear, creative, and human-centered. In other words, they’re aching for conscious leaders. I’ve witnessed this hunger as an employee, as a leader, and as an executive coach, and I’ve been addressing how to satisfy it by weaving my two decades of leadership insights together with three decades of spiritual practice.

WHAT IS A CONSCIOUS LEADER?

A conscious leader organizes and influences people to achieve meaningful results, but with a particular spirit and mode of conduct. More than being mindful, leaders become conscious when they nurture and practice three pillars of consciousness: wisdom, love, and courage.

These three elemental virtues represent a triune intelligence that shows  up in biology and neurology (head, heart, and gut), in sociology, and in many wisdom traditions. In our quest to evolve as conscious people and leaders, we can’t just focus on one or another of them. Conscious leaders activate and align their thinking (wisdom), caring (love), and doing (courage).

THE THREE PILLARS OF CONSCIOUS LEADERSHIP

• WISDOM
  When I ask folks to describe wisdom, they typically mention such things as intellect, education, learned knowledge, and being smart. But for conscious leaders, wisdom shows up as a clear, inclusive, and integrated understanding of ourselves, other people, human and social circumstances, and the complexity of our problems. Simply put, wisdom is the ability to dive below the surface and reach beyond the obvious.A leader who cultivates wisdom reaps the benefit of discernment. If, for example, you can drop below the acrimony of two team members in conflict and detect their deepest motives, you’re using discernment — wisely separating what’s important or true from what’s not.
• LOVE
  Love is a powerful emotion, and in conscious leadership it’s also a verb. This pillar is our doorway to expressing connection and to practicing inclusion and service. I propose that love is wanting to do well for others, not because we have to or because we owe something, but because we’re responding to an impulse to serve the wellbeing of another. This heart-based quality feeds intimacy and care and yields trust and engagement.At work, when we’re told to “be a professional,” we’re being trained to harden our hearts and retreat into a safety of cold and distant detach-ment. Love doesn’t exclude conflict, corrective action, or firing someone. Allowing love to open the shutters to the heart enables us to engage in challenging interpersonal exchanges while maintaining safety and connection.
• COURAGE
  Please don’t confuse courage with brave  action or foolhardiness. Courage is an embodied engagement with action even as your gut is gripped in anxiety and doubt. You might as well forget about being fearless, because the basic mood of the ego — our self-centered identity — is fear. Courage is walking toward what you’d rather run away from.Fear is the corollary to our deepest desires. Desire for control feeds fear of failure and powerlessness. Desire for connection and inclusion feeds fear of rejection and being unloved. Desire for expression feeds fear of humiliation and worthlessness. Courage is our commitment to acknowledge these fears, and take action nevertheless.

HOW TO CULTIVATE WISDOM, LOVE, & COURAGE

Conscious  leadership, like emotional intelligence or strategic thinking, can be cultivated. I’ve drawn on biology, psychology, leadership development, and wisdom traditions to identify leadership competencies that form the bricks within each pillar.

There are three competencies within wisdom, love, and courage, and we’ll cover one pair of dualities from each pillar to see how they hinder and catalyze wisdom, courage, and love.

WISDOM HINDRANCE: DENIAL

The refusal to acknowledge that something is wrong is a coping strategy to deal with emotional conflict, stress, or threatening information. When I was told that an employee of mine was stealing funds, my first reaction was, “I don’t believe it!” It shocked me, it ruined my opinion of that person, and it deeply challenged the accuracy of my judgment. I actually needed a brief period  of denial  to pause, digest the information at my own pace, and think carefully about  how to move forward.

“Ignorance is bliss”  is the motto of denial. When I deny reality, I don’t have to experience my negative emotions like frustration, fear, powerlessness, rejection, insecurity, shame, or hopelessness. But where wisdom is seeing reality as it is, denial  is a narrow vision full of blind spots. So while a brief  period of denial  can be psychologically helpful, ongoing  denial  isn’t part of conscious leadership. A mindful attitude is.

WISDOM CATALYST: MINDFULNESS

The first task in discussing mindfulness is to distinguish mindful practice and mindful presence: mindful practice (such as meditation) strengthens focus, concentration, and attention. But mindful presence is being aware of and attentive to reality as it is. The former is a helpful tool, but the latter is the real goal.

Mindful practices help us attend to reality. Classic practices include attending to your breath, noting and labeling your thoughts, and distinguishing nuanced physical sensations. These practices teach us to shift our attention from fantasy and history and to gracefully connect with current reality — the good, the bad, and the ugly. Mindful presence is the fruit of the labor of mindful practice that conscious leaders apply to their decisions, tasks, and relationships.

The second task in discussing mindfulness is to agree to let go of the dreamy-eyed version of it where it is a state of perfected equilibrium. and circumstances of other people and narrowly focus on our own desires, comfort, and pleasure.

Leaders, even conscious ones, are going to be rattled by plans going sideways, missed goals, overdue deadlines, and misbehaving people. Know that you can be angry and mindful, fearful and mindful, confused and mindful, and happy and mindful, and that you can reside in the fullness of the experience without denying it or being overcome by it.

LOVE HINDRANCE: ENTITLEMENT

Maybe you’ve heard or thought something like, “I deserve this,” or “She better reply to my email today.” Or maybe, “This flat tire  is totally unfair; these are new tires and I shouldn’t get a flat.” And perhaps, “He owes me an apology.” These are all entitlements — a belief that we inherently deserve privileges or a particular kind of treatment. When we’re caught in entitlement we crowd out the needs and circumstances of other people and narrowly focus on our own desires, comfort, and pleasure.

Zen teacher Ezra Bayda writes in “Beyond Happiness: The Zen Way to True Contentment,” “Perhaps the most basic belief underlying all of our feelings of entitlement, our ‘if onlies,’ and even our illusions, is the belief that life should please us, that life should be comfortable. … Yet it’s the belief that we can’t be happy if we’re uncomfortable that is much more of a problem than the discomfort itself.”

As a leader, being caught in entitlement diminishes your connection to and care for others; it makes your heart small and inaccessible. Love is wanting to do good for others, and entitlement diminishes love.

LOVE CATALYST: GRATITUDE

By contrast, gratitude feeds  love and is one of the antidotes to entitlement. Mary, a VP of finance whom I’ve worked, shared this: “When I’m grateful, I naturally focus on the gifts I’m receiving and I’m moved to give energy and care to others. When I feel gratitude, I appreciate what’s already working in our team, even as we’re striving for more.” Gratitude colors our lens of perception toward the positive and reduces our urges  to complain and blame. As leaders we’re always striving, but without gratitude that reaching and driving becomes tense and unsatisfying.

Gratitude can be a spontaneous feeling, but it can also be cultivated deliberately. The more you establish your gratitude, the less you succumb to disappointment, and the more people feel encouraged to give back. Oh, and by the way, there’s some compelling science that affirms that gratitude increases resilience, improves self-esteem, improves sleep, reduces aggression, improves physical and psychological health, and strengthens relationships.

COURAGE HINDRANCE: PLEASING

It’s human nature to want to be liked and included, and to be afraid of rejection. One way to avoid conflict and improve our odds of acceptance is to be pleasing. Pleasing can indeed reduce conflict, and of course  there are times when  being conciliatory and pleasing is necessary. As Brian, the CEO of a manufacturing firm, said, “When I make a mistake with  a team member, or blow it with my wife, you bet I engage in pleasing behavior.”

But if you consistently hide your passion and brilliance in order to please others, then you’re letting fear define you and, as a leader, you risk having only artificial harmony — a team or relationship that isn’t expressing its discontent, which can lead to passive- aggressive behavior.

Fear-based pleasing also generates false kindness: not a kindness that flows from the heart and focuses  on the best  for the other, but a false  state that flows from the mind and focuses on the best  for self. False kindness is pleasing, and while kindness energizes us, false kindness depletes us.

COURAGE CATALYST: AUTHENTICITY

Being authentic isn’t the same  as never changing. Was my self in my 20s  more authentic than my self in my 50s? In my 20s  I authentically believed that marriage and children were anti- spiritual (until  a spiritual insight changed my heart in my 30s). In my 50s I’m authentically a husband and a father to teenage girls, and I believe that marriage and children are a spiritual gift. Asking which is more authentic is the wrong question.

Rather than defining an “authentic self,” conscious leaders are better served by pursuing “authentic expression.” As we grow and evolve, we change — heck, that’s the very definition of growing. There isn’t any static, unchanging, and elemental Self lodged somewhere deep inside us.

Authentic expression, rather, is a constant flow.  As we mature and evolve, we integrate and express various elements of heart, mind, and spirit. Experience, insights, and wisdom shape us over time and different aspects of us rise and fall.  The call of conscious leadership isn’t to take up a single aspect of self and protect it until the day you die but to invite the spirit of change to help you clarify and refresh your values, ideas, and identity.

THE BOTTOM LINE

Matt of Teamwork Athletic Apparel didn’t require special equipment to become a conscious leader, but he did have to pay specific attention. Conscious leaders have wisdom about life’s paradoxes, the courage to step out of comfort, and a love that nurtures people. They attend to possibilities, see beyond the obvious, and accept that there’s enough pie to go around, for everyone, all the time. Conscious leaders notice their heart contracting when their ego moves toward gains that come at someone else’s expense.

Leadership of any kind is a discipline of strategy and execution. Conscious leadership adds a discipline of intention. By driving for results while applying wisdom, courage, and love any leader can become a conscious leader serving and empowering themselves, others, and society.

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