SAHMmy Says

Copycat Recipe: Claim Jumper Chocolate Chip Calzone

2008-07-09T05:54:00.000-07:00

Claim Jumper restaurants offer this fantastic dessert on their menu--it's the real reason we go, but usually by the end of the meal, we're stuffed beyond capacity, or the kids are melting down and we know they won't last the 15 minutes it takes to deliver the warm gooey goodness to our table, so we pout and pay the check and vow to figure out how to make it at home.

Well, I finally did it! Found this recipe that promised a super quick dough--first try came out a little bland*, so I doctored it up as seen below.

Dough: 9 minutes (2 minutes to make, 5 minutes standing time, 2 minutes to fill and roll out.)
Baking time: 9 minutes.
Plating it up: 2 minutes.

20 minutes start to finish--it's so simple and all done in one bowl, so you could easily whip them up after a dinner party (or even make them ahead of time and refrigerate, then just bake when you're ready) and they'll be done just about the time the coffee's done brewing. Or make 'em just for kicks, like I'll be doing about once a week now!

Cheap, quick, easy copycat recipe works for me!

Note: measurements are a little weird--this is for a half batch of pizza dough--makes two 8-inch circles for your calzones.

Copycat Recipe: Claim Jumper Chocolate Chip Calzone

Dough
1 cup flour
1/4+1/8 tsp salt
1 Tbsp sugar
1 Tsp oil
1+1/8 tsp dry active yeast (half a 1/4 oz packet, but mine's in a jar)
1/4+1/8 cup water (this imaginary measurement comes to the 3 oz line on my liquid measuring cup)

Filling
1/3 cup semi sweet chocolate chips
1/3 cup white chocolate chips (use a good brand, like Guittard--I've had problems with other brands like Nestle melting properly in other recipes)

You'll also need:
Pam, butter, or oil to coat the top of the calzone with before baking.
Parchment paper
Vanilla ice cream (not optional!)
Chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and a few extra chocolate chips scattered around the bowl for garnish (optional).

Preheat oven to 400.
Mix flour, salt, and sugar in a medium mixing bowl.
Dissolve yeast in very warm water--think kid's bath temperature.
Dump water/yeast mixture into flour mixture; add oil.
Stir together with a spoon, then your hands, until the dough comes together--about 1 minute. (Add a few drops of water if the dough seems dry.)
Separate the dough into 2 sections, roll each into a ball, put them back in the bowl and cover; let rest for 5 minutes.
Place a layer of parchment paper on a cookie sheet and roll each ball into an 8-inch circle, right on the parchment.
Sprinkle semi-sweet and white chocolate chips evenly over half of each circle (leave a 1/2 inch border.)
Fold the empty half of each circle over the chocolate chips, and pinch to close (crimp with a fork, or pull up and over from the bottom layer in 1/2-inch sections as you work around the half circle for a twisted edge)
Spray each calzone top with Pam.
Bake at 400 for 9 minutes.
Serve warm with ice cream; garnish with chocolate syrup, whipped cream, and chocolate chips if desired.

*I'm not knocking the original dough recipe at all--seems like a solid recipe for regular pizza--it just needed a little more flavor for a dessert dough.

365 Day Clutter Challenge Days 85-91

2008-07-07T14:36:00.000-07:00

Whoa--time flies when you're having fun! Trying to refresh and unplug as much as I can this summer...

Day 85-91 (last Tues thru today): a few ugly tshirts, Baby ChubChub's sweet little fall dress--unravelled at the neckline, PAPER CLUTTER! 1 creepy cat/toy/thing from a Happy Meal, ratty pillowcases, 2 hooded towels, 2 pairs of 0-3 month stretch pants I've been shoving my 21 month old into and calling capris :)

What did you dump today?

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part VI

2008-07-07T05:55:00.000-07:00

As the weeks of training wore on I expected to find my stride, but I was stumbling through my days--my life. I'd get up at 5am, work until the baby woke, work during the kids' naps, then from their bedtime until 2-3-4am. I pushed through; the 15-20 hours per week I would be expected to work after my training was done was the light at the end of the tunnel.

But it didn't work out that way. I couldn't find those 15 hours.

I got the chance to visit with an old friend, a SAHM who works from home. I knew she'd have the answers to my questions: How do you do it? When do you do it? But when she told me she was phasing her job out because she was having a hard time getting everything done, I woke up.

I think sometimes we women get caught up in the hype that we can have it all, do it all. We see what we want to see: that our friends, family--even strangers in the grocery store--"have it all together" and think we're alone in struggling. They make it look so easy--what's my problem?

I am so thankful for my friend who candidly revealed that she had reached her limit. I've encountered so few women who are willing to admit when they've been bested by the constraints of a 24-hour day.

My husband and I discussed whether I should quit my new job. Although he had felt the effects of work time eating into my duties at home, he put the decision on me--he was "totally fine" with whatever I decided.

Since I didn't have a spare moment to make a pros and cons list on paper, my go-to decision making tool, I ran the issues through my muddled brain for a few days.

We didn't need the money. I couldn't run on 4 hours of sleep. My grumpy mama moments were coming more and more often as the effects of stress and sleep deprivation took their toll. Though I was writing, the subject didn't hold my interest. And I was spending way more time writing about laundry than doing it--the house was in shambles.

Not a pro in the bunch. But the biggest con kept popping up in front of every other point: I am ungrateful.

I had worked my butt off getting to a place where I could stay home with my kids without financial strain. God of course had allowed this blessing, and I was handing it back like a sullen teenager who gets a sweater from basic Old Navy instead of hip Hollister. Thanks all the same, but do you have the receipt?

We have more than most, and more than we need, and I felt like it was greedy and stupid and shameful to try to take more--especially when I couldn't keep up with the most important things.

So I quit.

And my days went from this

back to this.

I took this picture of my son over the holiday weekend. If I was still working, I surely would have missed this moment--or at least not had the presence of mind to grab the camera to capture it. To you, it looks like a fun photo that allows me to skirt my no-kid-pictures blog policy. For me, it holds a sweet memory: my son was heading outside to help Daddy wash the cars. He told my husband, "I saw this hat and I put it on because I want to be just like you, Daddy!"

So there you have it, folks--my SAHM story in 6 not-so-easy pieces: I quit my job instead of my family. Sorry, no sappy conclusion--gotta feed the baby breakfast.

To see the fruits of my short-lived labor, run, don't walk, to laundry.about.com--as soon as a new Laundry Guide gets up and running, it'll all disappear like it never even happened.

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part V

2008-07-03T06:17:00.000-07:00

If my 2 year old pitifully begging me to stay home wasn't enough, I was receiving pressure to quit my waitressing job from another source. I was 8 months pregnant, and around month 6 I had developed a bizarre lump on one side of my pubic bone that had slowly morphed from a dull, bruised feeling to excruciating pain when I picked up anything heavier than a water bottle.

My OB's best guess was that it was a hernia. He signed me off from work and arranged for a surgeon to attend my c-section, who would swoop in and fix me up after the baby was delivered. I quit, but my kind manager promised to keep me on the books, just in case I decided to return after all. I didn't argue, because you never know.

That was the crappiest summer of my life (I know what a blessing that is.) I wanted to run and play and splash, to savor these last only-child months with my toddler, but was sidelined on a plastic chair with my swollen feet in the kiddie pool. The biggest problem: I couldn't pick my own son up. He carted a little step stool around so he could get onto the potty, and onto my bed for a read and a snuggle, and into the car. I lost him in a grocery store for 4 heart-stopping minutes because I couldn't lift him into the cart and he zoomed around the corner while I was studying the cost per count of napkins. After that, I shopped alone, or sucked it up and hauled him up and over into the cart seat, strapped him in tight, and rested my weight on the cart handle, scooting slowly through the store and grabbing only what we needed to keep the load as light as possible.

Just before I stopped working, I realized we were several hundred dollars short of our goal to bank the estimated $7,000 out of pocket delivery costs before the baby came. Thankfully, my disability payments were based on a period when I was working full time, and the checks nearly matched my part time income.

October 9, 2006: our sweet baby daughter was born. The morning after we returned home, my husband went out to get the mail, and couldn't help but notice that both of our cars' back ends were smashed. Apparently a drunk a-hole had screeched around the corner, run over the curb and smashed one car, reversed, smashed the other car, reversed, and drove off the curb, missing hitting my mom's car by about 8 inches. Buh-bye, emergency fund.

Money was tight. I felt naked without the emergency fund cover, so hubby sold a chunk of his vast Star Wars/comic book/other geeky collections on ebay. In just one set of listings, he made enough to fully fund the emergency fund and treat himself to a Playstation 3. Hey, paid with cash, clutter is gone, I'm cool with that.

My husband received bonuses and raises, and we did up our budget a bit to include frivolous categories like tithing, clothing, and scheduled doctor's visits, but we decided to divert at least half of each increase to savings. Not real savings, but a holding tank through which we'd be able to pay big-ticket bills like property taxes and car insurance premiums.

I was always poking around frugal websites and parenting message boards, and I had chanced upon a few sites I now know to be blogs. I read a post somewhere in which the author listed her Google Adsense earnings for the previous month at $600. (Knowing what I do now about Adsense, I'm thinking that was a typo.) Well, I had something to say, and if spouting off would bring in extra income, sign me up. I started this little blog you're reading now. In almost a year of blogging, I've made a whopping $44. Not exactly the cash cow I expected, but I'm hooked.

Several months ago, I read a tip on a blog (sorry, can't remember whose) that About.com offered open applications for their Guide jobs (you didn't necessarily have to be a published writer) and paid a minimum $725/month. Not too shabby. I applied for the only topic I was qualified to write on: laundry. Exciting, no? Since they were looking to hire a professional drycleaner, I was shocked and flattered when they accepted me. Now, the way the About.com hiring process works is not a simple, "You're hired!" First you have to compete for the job with up to 5 other applicants in a 2 week scramble to develop a site and write articles. Unpaid. If you're selected as the best-qualified contender (or if you're the only one who applied, which I suspect was the case for my topic), you move on to another 2 weeks of tweaking the site and writing more articles before your topic goes live. Unpaid again.

Tomorrow (finally!): the conclusion

Part I
Part II
Part III
Part IV

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part IV

2008-07-01T05:51:00.000-07:00

Part I
Part II
Part III

We were blessed with a remarkably easy baby. He slept through the night--6 hours even in the hospital, and 12 hours within a couple months. Only cried when he was gassy. No naps; he'd doze off for a few minutes while nursing, but with the long nighttime sleep stretch, I didn't push it. I had plenty of time to find my way in my new life as a Stay at Home Mom.

We were broke, but this was the happiest time in my life. Sometimes we found ourselves up Shit Creek without a paddle, but when your canoe is outfitted with cable TV and cell phone service, it's hard to cry poor.

My husband settled into 5 daytime bartending shifts. This offered 2 great benefits: reliable and generous tips Monday thru Friday from boozy old folks and expense-account-happy executives, and the early hours kept him out of reach of skanky bar flies who thought nothing of offering sexual favors in exchange for free drinks, and considered his wedding ring a challenge.

My mom and little sister were (and remain) my SAHM mentors. Time and wealth that had increased over the years meant my mom had to reach far into her memory to recall how she got dinner on the table on a shoestring budget with 5 kiddos wreaking havoc in the house. My sister was in the trenches: she told me where to find the cheapest diapers, explained the envelope system to me for the 100th time ("See, when there's no money in the envelope, you stop spending.") and shared the recipes that allowed her to feed her family of 4--and entertain several times a month--on a $150 grocery budget.

In October, 2004, my husband was offered a "real" job. The salary was quite a bit less than he was making as a bartender, but it offered the promise of upward mobility, and grownup career status. The catch: he'd have to spend 3 months training in Arizona. That was pretty much a dealbreaker for me--no way was I going to play single mom while my husband missed months 7-10 of our son's life. But everything came together: my husband's sister offered to let us stay in the in law's travel trailer on her property (her husband works in the Phoenix office for the same company.) We could all be together, snug as a bug in a rug. He signed on the dotted line, we stuffed our car to max capacity, and headed out to start a new season in our lives. I spent the 10 hour drive with my feet in the crockpot.

The short stint buckled our budget. Back home, I was a happy hermit. The baby and I would often go 3, 4 days at a stretch without leaving the house. But being cooped up in a 30-foot travel trailer is not the same thing as wandering the wide halls of your own home. So each day, I'd cart the baby around Phoenix, grocery shopping daily (it's European! I convinced myself), haunting the mall (didn't give in to spending here, at least), and pushing my barely-sitting-up baby in the swings at the park for hours on end. On the weekends, hubby needed to get out too, so we'd hit the shops and restaurants and spend money like we had it.

We racked up about $3000 in credit card debt over the 3 month period. I spent a lot of time crunching the numbers on our new budget. When we returned home, my husband would be commuting 60 miles each way, so our gas category went from piddly to ridiculous. I remember figuring our gas costs with an inflated $2.25 per gallon, because gas prices were inching over $2. People will riot in the streets if gas hits $2.50, I remember telling my husband. So riot, already.

There was no way around it: with the inflated gas budget, I'd have to return to work until my husband's salary caught up. When we got home, I went back to my old restaurant and worked weekend nights so one of us would always be with the baby. I was adamant about never putting him in daycare, and I even freaked a little the few times my husband had to work weekends and my in laws had to watch the baby for an hour while I left to start my shift and hubby drove home. My husband was working 12-14 hour days, plus a 2 hour commute, and my weekend work meant we passed like ships in the night for several months. That sucked.

Property values were still hiking upward, but I started noticing more and more news snippets hinting that the bubble may be on the verge of bursting. We decided to sell the house and move an hour south to the town where my husband worked. Thank God we got out when we did. We sold our home for double what we paid for it, but just 2 weeks after we closed, our Realtor tipped us that he'd had to slash his other property prices by $30,000. We paid off both mortgages, that damn credit card, $60,000 in student loans, and had enough left over to put a respectable 10% down on the new house, plus fund a full year of property taxes and homeowner's insurance, and spend a little prettying up our new digs.

Unfortunately, the little town we moved to had inflated its property values to keep pace with the big city up north. We were priced out of homes similar to our first newish custom home, and bought the first house we found that was in a nice neighborhood, and clean. The house was 30 years old, and came complete with a matching set of hillbilly neighbors. The new mortgage was a couple hundred dollars more than our old one, so our gas savings just got rerouted, and I continued to work.

In the year or so since my husband changed careers, he had received a couple of raises. I still hauled myself up to the city on weekends to work, but now it was more like, "If I work one more month, we can buy that coffee table. Go to the San Diego zoo. Paint the guest room." The baby had transformed into a toddler. Just barely 2 years old, he'd see me in my work uniform and sob: "No Mommy go to work! Daddy go to work!" We revisited our priorities, and I quit.

Back to full time SAHM bliss.

More on Thursday...

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 84

2008-06-30T21:36:00.001-07:00

Day 84: 3 tanks--I cut the shelf bra up the middle to try to get a little breathing room. They look a little funny--can't wear in public. Too many house-bound clothes. Tossed.

What did you dump today?

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part III

2008-06-30T06:02:00.000-07:00

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part I

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again: Winners Never Quit Part II

I'm no math major, but give me a calculator, pen, and paper, and I can give you six budget scenarios in under an hour. I worked and reworked our estimated post-baby-one-income budget hundreds of times in the months leading up to my delivery. The numbers just wouldn't add up, no matter how I finagled them.

We had gotten a pretty good deal on the house, and property values were still shooting up at a ridiculous pace. After being in the house for only 2 months, we were able to get a second mortgage through our credit union--with zero fees. We paid off the car we had stupidly purchased brand new and for full sticker price (pre-Dave), the rest of our high-interest credit cards, and the personal loan my husband's parents had floated us for the closing costs on the house. With the lower interest rate and a fifteen year repayment, the second mortgage knocked about $900 in monthly bills down to under $250. Safe. Kinda.

February 25, 2004: Our son was born miraculously healthy (many scares throughout the pregnancy--tell ya later) via hastily-scheduled c-section. My husband was working as a bartender--no worky, no money--so he took just 3 days off. My mom stayed with us for 2 weeks to take care of me, the baby, and my husband--not necessarily in that order.

During that time, I watched the consummate Stay at Home Mom in action. She cooked, cleaned, nursed me back to health, taught me how to hold my baby, ironed hubby's work uniform--I think she even mowed the lawn. She was getting ready to sew the baby's crib skirt when the house decided to break down.

First, the heater went crazy. The baby had jaundice, and we had to keep him next to a sunny window wearing just his diaper. Even though it was late February, it was pretty warm out, but his tiny lips quivered in the cool inside air, so we switched on the heater. And it never stopped, even when we turned it off. We made do for a few days just flipping the circuit off, but of course that disabled a few outlets and lights as well, so I called in the repair guy. $180, with coupon, for 15 minutes on the roof. My husband picked up 2 extra shifts to recoup the cost.

Then the washing machine gave out. I was three sheets to the wind on narcotics thanks to my c-section, so I sent my husband and FIL off to Lowe's with strict, if slurred, instructions to not spend more than $300 on a new washer. That was the lump sum of our meager emergency fund. Shockingly, for this spendthrift dynamic duo, they came back with a sturdy, basic Roper model, and change.

Then the dryer stopped drying. My husband grabbed the keys, ready to run out to charge a replacement, but I called my dad, who thought the problem could be fixed with a new heating element and a screwdriver. Does it kill anyone else's husband when Dad gets called in?

My husband had to work, so Mom drove me and the 5-day-old baby to the Sears repair shop. I was itching to get out of the house, but after just a 15 minute car ride and 5 minutes standing on the store's concrete floor, I thought I was going to die. I may be the wussiest c-section recoverer ever. And the store gave us the wrong part. So my husband hit the store on his way home, and fixed the problem in about an hour, with a lot of cussing, and 2 calls to my dad. More cussing. $25, plus the $25 I had already spent on the wrong part. I'd deal with the store's "no returns" policy when I felt better.

I was trying to keep my cool in the face of these financial setbacks: the baby's healthy the baby's healthy the baby's healthy. But when I decided I felt good enough to take over the ironing chores from my mom, and the ironing board collapsed (picked it up--collapsed--picked it up again--collapsed again), I lost it.

Of course my parents--and inlaws--had offered to bail us out of each and every one of these problems, but we were going to make it on our own, dammit. Even if a stupid 12-dollar ironing board meant another closing shift for my husband, who really wanted to spend more time with his baby son.

Tune in tomorrow...

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 81 82 83

2008-06-30T05:48:00.000-07:00

Day 81 Friday: 4 Veggie Tales placemats
Day 82 Saturday: another 3 ring binder
Day 83 Sunday: 2 lonely glasses (4 matches broken/lost)

What did you dump today?

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again--Winners Never Quit Part II

2008-06-27T06:08:00.001-07:00

A few months before I got pregnant, I finally succumbed to my MIL's hounding: "You guys need a job with benefits!" and gave up one of my waitressing jobs to take a pseudo-full-time position (full-time hours/part-time benefits, with an automatic switch to full-time status after 6 months) as a registrar at the hospital where MIL works. The only benefit available to me was the free-for-me, cheap-for-hubby medical insurance. Seemed like a great deal at the time, considering our intention to start a family, but the hospital job paid less than a third of what I made--working half the hours--as a waitress. We already had fairly inexpensive insurance; I could have fully funded my delivery twice over had I kept waiting tables. But then I wouldn't have been able to sit on my ever-widening bottom throughout the pregnancy.

A few weeks after I learned I was pregnant, I started bleeding, and that's a long story in itself. In short: I took an open-ended leave of absence from the waitressing job so I could stay off my feet.

I didn't disclose my pregnancy to the hospital until I was about 4 months along. I had my eye on a plum position registering patients over the phone in a back room, where I wouldn't have to face germy patients, had access to an employees-only restroom, and could scoot down the hall and get in line at the cafeteria for liquid cheese nachos in 45 seconds. The mother lode for a pregnant girl. The woman who had the position was about to go on her maternity leave, and had vowed she would not return. After witnessing what she went through (misery loves company, and many resented her imminent "escape"), I made a point of assuring everybody I'd be back six weeks after delivery, come hell or high water. Liar, liar, pants on fire.

I had 2 more reasons for not quitting the hospital straight out when I had the baby: 1. We had no disability insurance, and if something happened to my husband, I may have needed to return to work. 2. I didn't know how California's disability system worked, and was afraid I wouldn't receive pregnancy disability checks if I quit instead of going on maternity leave.

In October, 2003, we bought our first home. If we wanted to get in on home ownership, we had a very small window of opportunity. My husband was working as a restaurant manager, but was getting ready to return to bartending, so he could double his income and work half the hours. (Serving/bartending jobs are the best-kept secret around. You can make oodles of cash working part time with close to zero responsibility.) We needed my income to qualify for a home loan. Baby's due date was March 6. Tick tock.

We got in a little late on the great property prices. The home we bought would have sold for about $75,000 less the year before. But at that time, we didn't know about 100% financing with no money down. We were surprised to find that our mortgage payment was only about $100 more than our rent, and after filing our 2003 taxes, the interest write off meant we actually paid less to own than to rent.

We still weren't saving for the future--even the very near future, when the baby would come and we'd be down to one income. God will provide. But I think He'd rather you put a little work in too, don't you?

Baby's awake. Thanks for staying with me as I meander towards my point. More on Monday.

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 80

2008-06-26T21:37:00.000-07:00

Day 80: bottle of nail polish. Unknown brand and origin. Painted my fingernails for the first time in years Saturday, and it's already worn halfway up my nails.

What did you dump today?

SAHM to WAHM and Back Again--Winners Never Quit

2008-06-26T05:51:00.000-07:00

I quit my job instead of my family.

That's the reason this SAHM is not a WAHM in a nutshell, but I'm having a little trouble gathering my thoughts, so I'll start at the beginning. Clear to me, mud to you, possibly...but hey, it's my blog, right?

In December, 2002, my husband and I hosted a Christmas party. At that time, most of our friends were kidless, but one couple had this one kid. And my husband was in love with him. I don't think I ever met the child before our party, but I knew all about him. My husband would come home from his friend's house talking ninety miles a minute (rare, if you know my husband) about this amazing kid who shook hands, introduced himself, and engaged adults in meaningful conversation. The boy was 4.

At the party, the kid spent most of the night upstairs playing video games, but he'd peek his head down the stairs occasionally to politely request a refill on his Sprite or ask my husband to show him how to get past some evildoer in the game he was playing, and eventually sacked out on our bed. No big, right? But something clicked that night for my husband. After everybody left, he wrapped his arms around me and said, "I want to have a baby."
"Sure, honey. We'll talk in the morning when you're sober." I figured the combination of the spirit of the season and the spirits in the martini pitcher had sparked this idea, and really didn't give it another thought.

But the next morning, he brought it up again. I peered at him closely--was he still drunk? Nope. Clear eyes. Maybe a little misty, even. He was serious. "Well, you know I'm not going to work when we have kids, right?" I asked. Actually, this was news to him. Because we'd never actually talked about our plans for kids beyond a cursory "yep, we'll have 'em" in the 5 years we'd been together. We'd been married for a year and a half. It is my understanding that most people do in fact explore their feelings about having children, if not in the early stages of their relationship, certainly before they walk down the aisle. We're weird, but we work.

"OK." That was his answer to my declaration. Hmmm. His mom worked, my mom didn't, and I thought I would meet a little more resistance, thereby gaining a little more time to decide how I felt about having a baby, as we worked through our feelings on our very different upbringings.

"I'll go off the Pill then. Right after Christmas." I was looking forward to a couple more weeks of Baileys and coffee stirred with a candy cane. I figured I had months, if not years, to sort out my feelings on having a baby before I actually turned up pregnant, since I'd been on the Pill since my wedding day (Hi, Mom!) and I'd heard that it could take a while to kickstart your body into baby-making mode after going off the Pill.

We'd been following Dave Ramsey's Debt Snowball program for a few years at this point. We continued to knock out debt and live as frugally as two people with no real reason to will--no mortgage, no kids, "careers" in restaurants where we could always pick up a shift to make extra cash. But we weren't working the program as well as we should have, considering our momentous decision. Extra money went toward debt, Vegas trips, and cigarettes in roughly equal portions.

June 29, 2003: Our 2nd anniversary. I had a vicious bladder infection and was on an antibiotic that was clearly labelled--with 2 stickers--"Do not drink alcohol while using this medication." We were going out to a very rare nice dinner and I really wanted to celebrate with a glass of wine, so I called 3 different pharmacists to ask what exactly would happen if I drank just one glass of Cabernet. The consensus: I'd spend 2 days hugging porcelain. So we toasted with ceramic coffee cups instead of crystal stemware.

I'd been tracking my menstrual cycle since going off the Pill; I was as regular as could be, 28 days on the dot. As we drove home from the restaurant, the date of my last period popped into my head (I remembered being annoyed the month before when I noticed the next one would fall during our anniversary) and I made a quick remark to my husband: "I think I should have started by now. Wouldn't it be crazy if...?"

The next day, I bought a pregnancy test. And cigarettes. And smoked like a fiend for 2 days with the pregnancy test box, instructions, and foil-encased test glaring up at me from the coffee table, next to the ashtray. Not ready.

On July 2, 2003, I finally got up the courage to take the test. Read the instructions for the fifteenth time. Waited for my husband to wake up. Ended up waking him, because I really had to pee. Made him read the instructions and relate them to me, just in case I missed something. Smoked another cigarette. Peed in a cup and plopped the stick in; didn't trust myself to correctly count down "5 seconds in the urine stream." Rushed out of the bathroom, set the microwave timer for 2 minutes, 45 seconds (to account for my travel time) and smoked again.

Beep. Beep. Beep. Rushed into the bathroom. Saw the pink plus sign from the door, but held the glass up at eye level and looked at it for a long, hard three seconds. Yep, it's a plus up close too. Rushed out of the bathroom one more time: "I'm pregnant!" We both cried. I was surprised to realize I was crying tears of excitement, happiness, exhilaration. Not an ounce of dread. "Hope you enjoyed your last cigarette," my husband laughed.

I grabbed a phonebook and dialed up the OB-Gyn with the biggest ad: "I'm pregnant!"
"Date of last menstrual period?" asked the bored receptionist. Guess she's heard this one before.
"May 29."

Baby ChubChub just woke up (Hewwo? Hewwoooo? Mommy!) Stay tuned for the next installment...

Part II
Part III
Part IV
Part V

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 79

2008-06-25T21:17:00.000-07:00

Day 79: 2 more old swimsuits. Well, 1 1/2. Can't find the top to one. It'll turn up.

What did you dump today?

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 78

2008-06-24T14:09:00.001-07:00

Day 78: Take & Toss baby spoons, some of which may be leftovers from Chewbacca's babyhood. He's 4. They're in remarkably good shape, but Baby ChubChub has refused to use them since she discovered forks about 6 months ago.

Thanks for the inspiration from the See the Woods and the Trees post Clutter Begone!

What did you dump today?

Poll Results--What Keeps You From Being a Great SAHM?

2008-06-24T07:21:00.000-07:00

The poll results are in--check out the sidebar>>>

Cleaning duties are dragging 50% of us down. Quick challenge: break out the Otter Pops, get the Play Doh down off the top shelf, or fill some water balloons. Wait to soak the popsicle stains, sweep up the dried out Play Doh bits, or dry off the patio furniture til naptime :)

3 people responded with "None of the Above--I'm Perfect"--but I'm guessing that's because only "None of the Abo..." showed up once I moved the poll over to the sidebar ;)

Thanks for playing!

Work At Home Moms: Who Are You and What Do You Do?

2008-06-20T05:55:00.000-07:00

Note: I'm keeping this post on top for a few days--scroll down for 365 Day Clutter Challenge posts.

Are you a WAHM? Do you want to be one? Welcome to the Work at Home Mom series kickoff!

I know that managing your time as a Stay at Home Mom is tough, but doable.

I'm amazed by the resourcefulness of moms who work outside the home and successfully balance family and career.

But what about Work at Home Moms? (and Dads--can't leave the boys out!)

Work at Home Moms have the best of both worlds:

Round-the-clock access to your kiddos.

Personal satisfaction and fulfillment.

Money.

Ability to self-direct--be your own boss, or enjoy limited interaction with bosses/coworkers.

And the worst:

The kids are always there--When do you work?

Follow your dream, bring on the guilt--Am I expressing myself at great cost to my family?

Money: Are you preparing for the future/knocking out debt, or working for peanuts/spending your "pin money" on luxuries?

A lack of direction from higher-ups means you have to make your own motivation.

I'd like to start off with an informal roster:

If you're a WAHM, introduce yourself in the comments and tell us what you do. (I'll explore "how you do it" in future series posts.)

You can add a link to your business, web site, or a blog post that describes your job.

Link to/sign in with your personal blog too, so I can weed out the "Make $6k a week stuffing envelopes!" spam. I don't typically have a problem with spam, but considering the subject matter, I expect a surge--I don't want anyone to get stuck in a scam.

If you write a post on working from home, or have one in your archives, enter it in the Mister Linky box (crossing my fingers that I installed it correctly!) If you have more than one business (busy girl!) you can enter several links.

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 75, 76, 77

2008-06-20T05:50:00.000-07:00

Late update, and altering the time so it posts under the WAHM sticky. Confused?

Day 75 (Sat): 2 tunic shirts I wore when I was pregnant. Again, not really maternity clothes, but I feel like I look preggo in them anyway. Gone.

Day 76 (Sun): Target aerosol spray sunscreen. It burns the kids' eyes and there's no way to apply it inside without making a huge sticky mess.

Day 77 (Mon): huge file of old auto insurance paperwork. No idea why I kept the statements, privacy notices, etc. Whittled down to 1 contract (it's the same for both cars) and 2 declarations pages.

What did you dump today?

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 74

2008-06-20T05:00:00.000-07:00

Day 74: half a bottle of 5 year old Avon cellulite cream. Right.

What did you dump today?

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 73

2008-06-19T13:50:00.000-07:00

How much lighter would your home look and feel if it were missing 365 pieces of crap?

The 365 Day Clutter Challenge: Toss, Donate, or Sell one item from your home every single day for one year.

No rules.

No advice.

Just a simple challenge that may give your declutterbug its wings--betcha can't stop at just one thing!

I'll list my success daily in between regular posts. Please share your success in the comments!

Day 73: Maternity swimsuit. That's right--I haven't been pregnant for 21 months. It's technically a "regular" bikini, but it's a size XL. And now I'm not.

What did you dump today?

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 72

2008-06-18T20:49:00.000-07:00

Day 72: 2 of my husband's sweaters. I know he had both of them for at least 8 years, and I don't think he ever wore either one. I did get his blessing to get rid of them. If it was just my say so, a few more would have hit the trash.

What did you dump today?

10 Ways to Cut TV Time for Toddlers and Preschoolers

2008-06-18T06:50:00.000-07:00

The summer Chewbacca was 2, I babysat my twin cousins (then 5) for a day. I envisioned three happy boys splashing around in the play pool, putting SPF 50 to the test and throwing themselves onto beach towels in a weary, contented heap after a full day of hard play.

Nope.

I spent most of the time peeling one twin off my leg because Chewbacca kept splashing him, and counseling the other twin who cried because, in his words,

"I hate outside! I wanna watch TV!"

Seriously?

I explained that boys belong outside in the fresh air, not cooped up watching SpongeBob. This reminder of his favorite show brought on fresh tears, but I stood my ground. We only went inside to grab lunch--I even had them pee in the flower beds. When my cousin picked them up, they were indeed worn out, but it was more from the all-day tantrum than anything. I imagine they periodically recall the horror of The Day We Played Outside.

In our home, there is a place for TV. But not at the expense of real, interactive life. Here are 10 painless (and yes, dishonest) ways to cut your kid's TV time.

Don't offer to turn the TV on.

"Lose" the remote. On a similar note,

"The batteries must be dead."

If your kid can't read, scroll through the guide (not the actual channels) and declare, "No cartoons are on right now."

"I think Daddy wanted to watch this with us--let's wait until he gets home."

"I accidentally deleted it off the TiVo. Sorry, kiddo. Let's play Legos."

Maintain a No Commercial policy. That at least restricts viewing to DVDs (which magically tend to "break"), and boring PBS and Noggin shows.

Decide on an acceptable level of TV watching, then set a timer to remind everybody when it's time to move on to other activities. Active is the operative word here.

"Sister can't watch that show. Let's teach her how to play dragons."

"Because I said so."

Works for Me!

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 71

2008-06-17T21:37:00.000-07:00

crib sheet. Put a hole through it when I was changing the baby's bed. Probably could have sewn it up, but Baby ChubChub's crib-sleeping days are numbered, so out it goes. Of course now that I have just 1 crib sheet, she'll wet through.

What did you dump today?

What's Holding You Back From Being a Great SAHM?

2008-06-17T06:55:00.000-07:00

Vote in the poll at the top of the page--click as many answers as you like! (If that last answer applies to you, put your blog address here in the comments so we can all learn how you achieved perfection!)

Lack of Sleep
Baby ChubChub is officially sleeping through the night, though she doesn't need nearly as much rest as I wish she did (10 hours total just doesn't seem like enough, but she's healthy and happy.) Chewbacca is still a pro napper--he's good for at least a 2 hour afternoon snooze, plus his 10+ overnight sleep.

Cleaning (too much or too little)
I probably fall under the "too much" subhead here, but I do try to engage the kiddos in cleaning with me. The towels aren't folded "right," but they know the words to every song from Annie.

TV as Babysitter
Summer offers the perfect chance to reduce tube time. I'll post on my (sometimes sneaky) tactics in tomorrow's WFMW.

Blogging
Take a Blogging Break!

Working from Home
Starting a new series on WAHMs this week--look for the kickoff post Thursday or Friday.

What's holding you back from being the best mom you can be?

365 Day Clutter Challenge Day 66, 67, 68, 69, 70

2008-06-16T14:34:00.000-07:00

Tossed 3 days of items Thursday before heading out for a long weekend.

Packing Edition--Day 66-68:

Trial-size packets of shampoo, hair gel, etc. I've been hoarding for travel but never use.

Worn/stained baby dress.

Curling iron. Haven't used for at least 5 years.

Day 69: Zippered pouch a blanket came in that I use for packing toiletries in case something spills. After 10+ trips, something finally did. I'd usually just wash it out and reuse it, but I found an identical bag as I was packing for this trip, and besides being lazy, I don't need 2.

Day 70: Mail, flyers, coupons that came in on Thurs/Fri/Sat while we were away. No time to deal with anything that's not a bill--5 loads of laundry are calling my name--so I tossed everything without opening it.

What did you dump today?

One Word Meme

2008-06-12T14:02:00.000-07:00

Phyllis at Ima on (and off) the Bima did this quick one-word meme here.

Rules:

You can only use one word and it's not as easy as you might think. Now copy or
forward, change the answers to suit you and pass it on. It's really hard to only
use one word answers.

Here's mine:

1. Where is your cell phone? Misplaced

2. Where is your significant other? Work

3. Your hair? Lank

4. Your mother? Reader

5. Your father? Brilliant

6. Your favorite thing? Play

7. Your dream last night? Didn't

8. Your dream/goal? Retirement

9. The room you're in? Office

10. Your fear? Death

11. Where do you want to be in 6 years? Phoenix

12. Where were you last night? Online

13. What you're not? Fit

14. Muffins? Pumpkin

15. One of your wish list items? Highlights

16. Where you grew up? California

17. The last thing you did? Splash

18. What are you wearing? Swimsuit

19. Your TV? Off

20. Your pet? Nope

21. Your computer? Old

22 Your life? Sweet

23. Your mood? Forgiving

24. Missing someone? Sister

25. Your car? Owned

26. Something you're not wearing? Sunscreen

27. Your summer? Fabulous

28. Your favorite color? Black

29. When is the last time you laughed? #17

30. Last time you cried? Today

31. Who will resend this? Anyone!

You're all tagged :)

Packing Tips for Daytrips on Blissfully Domestic

2008-06-12T07:00:00.000-07:00

Check out today's post on Blissfully Domestic: Packing for a Daytrip with Kids: Baby, Toddler, Preschooler. It's an adaptation/update of my blog post Disneyland with a Baby: Daytrip Packing Tips and Tricks.

We're headed to the big city today--brother-in-law's wedding is Saturday, and family will be coming in from out of state tonight. My sister-in-law has never seen Baby ChubChub, and Chewbacca can't wait to see his "big girl cousins. and Gavin. and April. and which Grandma and Grandpa do they go with, Mommy?" He has so many cousins on both sides, and he likes to categorize them by grandparent sets. And hair color. And age. My little organizer :)

I'll be packing like a mad woman today. It's weird to have to pack for a 4 day trip that's only 45 minutes from your house. If I forget anything, it'll cost me an hour and a half and $25 in gas to go get it.

I'll keep an eye out for Challenge items as I pack, but if I don't get back here before we go, I'll add the update on Sunday.

Happy Weekend! And Happy Father's Day to my 1 male reader and all your sweethearts!