Salty Sweet Life

Amanuel

2011-01-20T15:40:00.000-08:00

The hot African sun burned the back of her neck as she walked along the dusty city road. Her throat was dry and her legs ached but she did not waver. Her destination was St. George church, in the heart of Addis Ababa, the capital of Ethiopia. It was the city’s most renown place of worship. Certainly it would have many parishioners. Certainly one of them would notice him.

Wrapped snugly against her damp chest was her infant son, barely 3 months old. He was thin and malnourished, as most children are in this part of the world, and most mothers too. Her body failed to produce enough milk for him to thrive and the fever that ravaged her was like a bully in a schoolyard, assaulting her relentlessly. Her child’s belly had already learned that growling only fell on deaf ears. She knew what she had to do.

Finally the church came into view. It wouldn’t be long now. The lump in her throat began to rise but she commanded her brimming tears to stay put. How dare they spill over her lashes and expose her sorrow to this apathetic world. No, she would wait to weep in secret. Now, she must be brave. She was about to hand over her child to the angels, never knowing his fate.

As she neared the church, she refrained from getting too close. Swarms of people milled about. Some walked with purpose, others lingered or simply sat on the hardened earth. She needed to remain inconspicuous. Abandoning a child is a crime and she couldn’t risk imprisonment. There were 2 more fragile souls waiting for her at home, a shanty made of scrap metal and discarded wood.

Diesel fumes filled her nostrils as she swiftly untied the fabric that had strapped her babe to her bosom. She allowed herself one tear as she quietly memorized his face. He barely blinked as he returned her gaze. Kissing his forehead and the tip of his nose, she whispered in her native tongue, “I love you”, and then laid him on the warm pavement.

She dared not to look back as she walked briskly away. His cry of discomfort was drowned out by the sound of a passing bus. She must be strong now. Certainly someone would notice him. Certainly someone would take him in. Certainly…someone…

Fortunately, someone did. He is now our son, Samuel Amanuel Hadjian. After spending 7 months in an Ethiopian orphanage, we adopted him. A pedestrian was said to have found him lying on the ground across the street from St. George Church and turned him in to the city authorities. Subsequently, they brought him to Le Toukoul, a local orphanage founded by a French man named Mr. Ferez. The staff named him Amanuel.

The description of Samuel’s mother is fictitious, however it could potentially describe a thousand mothers in Addis Ababa. The truth is that only God knows who abandoned Samuel there that day and the reasons why they did it. It isn’t difficult to fill in the blanks. Africa is called the Dark Continent for a reason. Poverty and disease run the show. Who wants to live in a place where forsaking your newborn baby seems to be the best chance at their survival? Of the orphans in Africa, Samuel is one in a million, literally.

Why am I sharing this story? I’m sharing it because there is a reason Samuel was left in front of a church. He wasn’t tossed in an open field to waste away or be devoured by wild dogs. No, he was brought to a place where God’s people meet. The person who left him must have harbored some belief that God’s people would step up, and rightly so, since our Lord saturated His daily life with good deeds and we are called to imitate Him.

But is my life really saturated with good deeds? This is the question that has been dogging me for months, years even. Yes, I am a “fisher of men” and I strive to help as many people know Jesus as possible. But once people are caught in His net, then what? Converting others to a specific theology is not enough. I am becoming more and more convinced that my life must be one that demonstrates love in sacrificial, tangible ways and actively changes the landscape of our society.

Matthew 26:31-46 spells out the criteria for those who will be welcomed into God’s heavenly kingdom and those who will not. The only thing Jesus is concerned about is if we truly loved our neighbor. There aren’t any accolades given for how many friends we have at church, how many marriage retreats we attend or even how many people we baptize. What matters most to Jesus is how much we cared about our fellow man. Does this mean that we should neglect The Great Commission? No. But it does mean that we can’t be content with that alone. We are to be Jesus’ hands and feet in this train-wreck of a world, ministers of compassion and agents of change.

In the story of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:30-37), sadly it was not the priest or Levite, both men regarded as religious, who came to the aid of a dying man. It was a half-breed Samaritan. What kept the religious men from getting involved? Both are said to have crossed the street when they noticed the victim, although the Levite first decided to get a closer look before doing so. Perhaps they were too busy, too important, too judgmental or just too overwhelmed with the thought of helping yet another person. Why did the Samaritan respond differently? I believe it’s because he paused just long enough to actually feel for this man (vs.33). He got his heart involved and that made all the difference. So he did what he could, and nothing more.

Maybe you’re not in a position to adopt an orphan. But perhaps you can prevent children from becoming orphans by helping to provide clean water for their village or AIDS awareness for their parents. Maybe you can’t solve global hunger but you can ask the principal at your child’s school if there are any families that might need a bag of groceries to get them through the month. This is the kind of love our neighbors need. If they don’t get it from us, the Christians, then from whom will they get it? I believe that every time a meal is served to the hungry, the gospel is preached. Every time a prostitute is treated with mercy and kindness, the gospel is preached. Every time an orphan is brought into a loving home, the gospel is preached. Let our lives be a Sunday sermon.

When the Trumpet Blows

2010-11-13T17:12:00.000-08:00

"He's going to blow His trumpet soon. He's coming."

Those were the words the homeless man said to my sister's friend, Cindy, after she'd asked him if there was anything she could pray for on his behalf. Cindy, who lives in Minnesota, was describing to my sister Brie what had happened to her last August while she was out evangelizing in Minneapolis.

Bewildered by his remark, Cindy walked away. Wanting to get another glimpse of the man, she turned back around, only to discover he was gone. As darkness loomed, she headed for her car. Fumbling for her keys and tripping over the man's words in her head, Cindy hadn't noticed the police officer approaching.

"Are you OK ma'am?" he asked. She was alone in a sketchy part of town.

"I think so... I have to tell you what just happened to me." She then shared the details about her encounter with the homeless man.

The officer replied, "You're the third person that has said that to me today."

Cindy's experience thrilled my sister Brie and she was eager to share it with another believer. She called our sister-in-law, Alana, and recited what she'd heard. Astonishingly, Alana had a story to tell as well. She enthusiastically unraveled a similar account told to her by Andrea, a small group leader at Alana's church.

Andrea's brother had been driving through South Dakota last September and offered a ride to a seemingly harmless looking man who was walking alone along a deserted stretch of freeway. The stranger happily accepted. As the two men drove along, the stranger made small talk, asking questions about the driver's life and family. He was kind and genuinely interested in what Andrea's brother had to say.

Then suddenly the stranger announced, "OK! You can drop me off here."

Perplexed, the driver replied, "But there isn't anything here..." They were smack in the middle of South Dakota nothingness. There was no logical reason for him to get out of the car. Undeterred, the stranger persisted.

"You've taken me as far as I need to go. Just leave me here."

The driver reluctantly acquiesced.

Then just as the stranger was exiting, he turned to the driver and said, "He's going to blow His trumpet."

"Excuse me?" replied the driver.

"The Messiah, He's coming. He's about to blow His trumpet." And with that, he turned and walked away.

Chills covered the driver's body as he sped off, thoughts spinning as fast as the wheels of his car.

"Could I have been talking to an angel?" he wondered. He glanced back to steal another look at the man but he was nowhere to be seen. Adrenaline and excitement took over and Andrea's brother was oblivious to how fast he was driving. Soon a police officer appeared in his rear-view mirror and he pulled over.

"Sir, do you know why I pulled you over?" asked the officer.

"No Sir." he replied. The driver then attempted to recount the incident with the stranger and the prophetic declaration he made about the Messiah blowing His trumpet.

Unexpectedly, he officer replied, "You're the fourth person today to tell me that story."

Revelation 8,9 and 11 speak of 7 trumpets being blown by 7 different angels. After each angel blows his trumpet, what follows is a series of calamitous events that befall the Earth, causing catastrophic damage and death, thereby ushering in the Apocalypse. Truly scary stuff. Regarding the exact day and time this all occurs, God has remained tight-lipped. Jesus carefully states in Matthew 24:36 that only the Father has that privileged information, yet He instructs us in that same chapter of Matthew to observe the times. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to recognize we're approaching our expiration date. The evening news confirms it every night.

So now what? What am I supposed to do with these miraculous stories I've heard? First, I've chosen to share them with you, knowing full well that I risk being thought of as gullible and ridiculous for believing them. Second, I have accepted them as a spiritual wake-up call during my long winter slumber. It feels like I've spent years in a state of spiritual hibernation. My faith isn't dead, just deeply asleep. The breathing is shallow. The pulse is sluggish. My once razor sharp heart has been dulled by the worries of this life (Luke 21:34). My mission to seek and save the lost has been compromised by dirty dishes, tantrums and soccer practice. If Jesus was to return today, would I hear the words "Well done my good and faithful servant!"? Sometimes I'm not so sure. I've been weighted down with America's yoke - apathy.

Being an American is without a doubt an undeserved blessing. But because we are so blessed we must vigilantly guard against the curse of complacency. Our nation is insulated from extreme poverty, swollen with excess and spoiled by abounding freedom. The end result is a population that can feel entitled and smug. Unless the good Lord intervenes and brings us to our knees through some personal crisis, we may forget that He's even there, forever buoyed by our pride. We'd do ourselves a favor by heeding the warning given to the church in Laodicea.

Jesus says in Revelation 3:15, "I know all the things you do, that you are neither hot nor cold. I wish that you were one or the other! But since you are like lukewarm water, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth! You say 'I am rich. I have everything I want. I don't need a thing!' And you don't realize you are wretched and miserable and poor and blind and naked. So I advise you to buy gold from me - gold that has been purified by fire. Then you will be rich." True wealth is only found in the arms of Jesus. I believe my soul has been impoverished for quite some time.

When the last trumpet sounds, I pray that I am dressed and ready to meet my King. In the story of the 10 bridesmaids, in Matthew 25, the women were waiting to meet the bridegroom. Five of the bridesmaids failed to bring enough oil for their lamps to burn through the long night and consequently were refused entry into the marriage feast. Jesus called these 5 women foolish. To be a fool is to be a simpleton, someone who lacks wisdom. These women ceased to give careful thought to their meeting with the bridegroom. They were too casual, too lackadaisical. When it comes to our relationship with God, we cannot just "wing it". We must be thoughtful. We must be intentional. For us to enter the heavenly feast, we must be prepared.

What does "being prepared" look like? It looks like a servant busy doing his master's business. According to Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus will separate all of humanity into two groups. The two groups being: those who are doers and those who are not.

To the doers, Jesus says, "Come, you who are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you fed me. I was thirsty and you gave me a drink. I was a stranger and you invited me into your home. I was naked and you gave me clothing. I was sick and you cared for me. I was in prison and you visited me."

To those who refrain He says, "Away with you, you cursed ones, into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his demons. For I was hungry and you didn't feed me. I was thirsty and you didn't give me a drink. I was a stranger and you didn't invite me into your home. I was naked and you didn't give me clothing. I was sick and in prison and you didn't visit me."

One group is responsive and impassioned and one group is apathetic. Having previously been of the good intentioned tepid persuasion, I can attest that it feels like there's this giant chasm between the two extremes. But in reality, the only thing needed to bridge the distance is a simple decision to repent.

Whether it's tonight, tomorrow or 200 years years from now, the trumpet is going to blow. When that day comes, may we all be able to say, "I'm with the band."

Driven to Death

2010-08-06T15:17:00.000-07:00

Some days I want to retreat to a dark room and curl up in a fetal position. Some days I feel so weary I just want to cry. I have a to-do list that stretches from here to Montana, each task demanding my very best. Idle is a four letter word. My desire to be a good mom, a good wife and good christian propels me. I am incapable of "doing nothing", which drives my husband crazy. If I am sitting on the couch, I must be reading something to better my mind. Even shows I've recorded on the DVR become one more thing I need to check off my list. This ridiculous addiction to accomplishment is exhausting and totally unnecessary. Why is it so hard for me to just "be"? Maybe there is a part of me that feels it's not enough. That I'm not enough.

Perhaps Martha shared my twisted self perception. Luke 10:38-42 reads,
"As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed Him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord's feet, listening to what He taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing.

She came to Jesus and said, 'Lord, doesn't it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.'

But the Lord said to her, 'My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her."

What drove Martha to make this extravagant meal? I'm sure it was her desire to honor and please Jesus. Later chapters reveal how much she loved Him. Certainly her intentions were good, but Jesus was interested in something other than her service. He was interested in KNOWING her.

He praised Martha's sister Mary for just sitting still. Mary sat quietly at His feet, listening, learning, drinking in all that He said. She gave Him her undivided attention. THAT is all that Jesus wanted.

I believe God put this story about Martha and Mary in the bible for those of us who are perversely driven, to discover what Jesus values most. Relationship. No more stressing and striving, just abiding in Him. Trusting that that is enough. I am enough.

The Joy Of Being Ridiculous

2010-07-21T18:32:00.000-07:00

Luke 1:6,8-9,11,13,18-20
"Zechariah and Elizabeth were righteous in God's eyes, careful to obey all of the Lord's commandments and regulations. They had no children because Elizabeth was unable to conceive, and they were both very old...One day Zechariah was serving God in the temple, for his order was on duty that week. As was the custom of the priests, he was chosen by lot to enter the sanctuary of the Lord and burn incense...While Zechariah was in the sanctuary, an angel of the Lord appeared to him, standing to the right of the incense altar...But the angel said, 'Don't be afraid, Zechariah! God has heard your prayer. Your wife, Elizabeth, will give you a son, and you are to name him John.'...Zechariah said to the angel, 'How can I be sure this will happen? I'm an old man now, and my wife is also well along in years.'...Then the angel said, 'I am Gabriel! I stand in the very presence of God. It was He who sent me to bring you this good news! But now, since you didn't believe what I said, you will be silent and unable to speak until the child is born. For my words will certainly be fulfilled at the proper time.'"

The "John" this angel was speaking about was none other than John the Baptist. Zechariah was soon to become the father of a very great man, a man who would introduce our Savior to the world. This was extraordinary news delivered in an extraordinary way. Why was Zechariah's response so cynical, so pessimistic?

We learn from scripture that Zechariah and his wife were religious, childless and elderly. Based on what the angel said in verse 13, we also know that having a son was something that Zechariah prayed for in the past. It's likely that he prayed for this often, since being childless was considered a disgrace. Infertility is such a tender spot for so many of us. It can dishearten us in ways that few other things can. Years of repeated disappointment can have a corrosive effect on our faith. What was once a "God can do ANYTHING" kind of confidence, reduces down to only believing in things that are "reasonably incredible". Ridiculous faith becomes flat out irresponsible. Humanism settles into our hearts, smothering the childlike faith we once had when we were young.

Zechariah had fallen prey to humanistic thinking. What the angel was proclaiming seemed illogical. How could his aged wife, her womb no longer viable, possibly conceive a child now? It defied reason. But wasn't Zechariah a priest? He of all people should be familiar with the stories of his ancestors and how God carved a path through the Red Sea so the Israelites could cross. Had he forgotten how God created the universe with the words of His mouth and humanity from the dust of the earth? What about the walls of Jericho? Was it an earthquake that caused them to crumble? No, it was merely Joshua and God's people marching around the city seven times and offering up a loud shout that brought them crashing down. This same God was the one who was promising him a son in his old age. God is not bound by human logic and limitations. He delights in doing the illogical, the ridiculous, the impossible.

It does my soul good to spend time with my children. They have an uncontaminated confidence in God. The serious disappointments of life have yet to befall them and they are continuously amazed by His creation. Youth is a blessing.

Further along in Luke 1, Gabriel visited Mary, a virgin teenage girl who was pledged to be married to Joseph. The angel informed her that she would soon be with child, impregnated by the Holy Spirit. (Lk1:35) Few would blame Mary if she responded with even an ounce of disbelief, but she didn't. Instead, she replied, "I am the Lord's servant. May everything you have said about me come true." (Lk1:38)

What was the difference between Zechariah and Mary? Just a simple thing called faith. Elizabeth said to Mary in Luke 1:45, "You are blessed because you believed that the Lord would do what He said."

May we imitate the confidence of this adolescent girl and guard ourselves against pessimism and disbelief, regardless of what life hurls at us. Skeptics are not to be admired but pitied. Happy are those who are considered ridiculous because they believe that, with God, anything is possible.

Dust and Air

2010-06-21T12:49:00.000-07:00

I think things started to unravel the summer of my son Samuel's 2nd birthday. The kids and I were visiting my family in Minnesota, they being three out of thirteen cousins on my side of the family. All the cousins are close in age and each child's developmental milestone piggybacks the next child in line, creating a domino effect of first teeth, first words and first steps. Samuel, however, was the exception. He was two years old and still not speaking a single decipherable word, not even saying "Mama". His behavior was erratic, aloof and hyperactive. He vocalized only unintelligible jargon. He had no interest in playing with other kids. He was an anomaly amongst his peers.

In the months that followed, my husband and I sought to identify what was inhibiting our son. We heard terms like developmental delay, verbal apraxia, attachment disorder and ADHD. As more time passed and his peculiar behavior increased, the reality of his condition became heartbreakingly clear. Samuel is autistic.

Coming to terms with Sam's diagnosis has been a painful journey. On this road I've felt sadness, anger, regret, fear, embarrassment, guilt and despair. Probably one of the most difficult things to grapple with is the feeling of powerlessness. As a woman, my natural inclination is to want to control everything, therefore ensuring that all will be well. "Controlling" autism, however, is something I have failed miserably at. Though we have spent thousands of dollars and tried every remedy in the book to free our son from autism's hold, he still remains firmly in its grip. The scripture in Ecclesiastes 7:13 rings true, "Consider what God has done: Who can straighten what God has made crooked?"

As a parent, I don't want anything to be crooked for my kids. I want smooth, straight paths for them. I want cloudless skies. I want happy endings. I want everything to be absolutely perfect. The sick disease of perfectionism has no place in parenting, or anywhere else for that matter. There's a reason why God made us fragile jars of clay instead of steel mugs.

Often it's through our imperfections and weaknesses that God chooses to work. In 2Kings 5, Naaman was a man who could attest to this. Commander of the Aramean army, God had given him many victories and had granted him the admiration of many, even the king. He was arguably one of the most powerful men in Aram at that time and yet, in his own private arena, he was powerless against an unconquerable foe. It was literally eating him alive. 2kings 5:1b (NLT) reads, "But though Naaman was a mighty warrior, he suffered from leprosy." Swords and spears could not bring this enemy down. His earthly strength was useless. Fortunately for him, he had a very compassionate slave girl tending to his wife. That young girl encouraged him to seek the help of Elisha, the prophet of God. After swallowing a hefty piece of humble pie and obeying Elisha's simple instruction to dip in the Jordan River seven times, Naaman was healed. Something even more important than being cured of leprosy happened that day, though. Naaman became a believer in the God of the universe, the God who made him well. Ironically, Naaman's deadly disease may actually have saved his life, spiritually speaking. If God has made something crooked, He's done that for a reason, a very good reason.

That being said, I've still felt tempted to ask, "Why God?" After all, didn't we do a good thing by adopting a child? Why would He allow this to happen? I've tortured myself with questions like, "Am I somehow responsible for causing Samuel's condition? What if Sam had remained in Ethiopia, would he not have become autistic? Have I actually done him more harm than good?" These are questions I will never have the answers to. I am just a mother seeking to make sense of it all and laboring to do right by my son. I have made Romans 8:28 my mantra, "And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God..."

In 2Corinthians 12:7-10, the apostle Paul gained clarity as to why the Lord made a stretch of his path crooked and refused to remove a painful thorn from his side. He concluded the thorn's purpose was to foster humility and to keep him on his knees before his Maker. He had become perfectly content with his powerlessness for Jesus said to Him, "My grace is all you need. My power works best in weakness." (2Cor. 12:9) God knows I need all the grace I can get.

I am beginning to see Jesus at work in my powerless condition. He is exposing dark corners of my heart that need to be swept clean. He is teaching me to celebrate little victories and to value progress, not perfection. He is carving a more compassionate heart within me and summoning me to give love continuously, regardless of what I receive in return. He has opened my eyes to an alienated population of people effected by this condition who otherwise would have remained invisible to me if not for Sam's autism, a population so desperate to be ministered to and understood. The truth is that we all have something in our lives that cannot be vanquished, something that reminds us we are only dust and air. May that something cause us to remain securely fastened to God's side. For when we are weak, we are truly strong. (2Cor. 12:10)

Sparring With Satan

2010-06-07T17:49:00.000-07:00

Luke 4:1-2,13
"Then Jesus, full of the Holy Spirit, returned from the Jordan River. He was led by the Spirit in the wilderness, where He was tempted by the devil for forty days. Jesus ate nothing all that time and became very hungry..... When the devil had finished tempting Jesus, he left Him until the next opportunity came."

In these passages of scripture, Jesus is on a 40 day fast and He is literally starving to death. Towards the end of His fast, when the growls of hunger pains have long quieted themselves because they have fallen on deaf ears and Jesus is at His physically weakest point, Satan pulls out the big guns. He tempts Jesus to turn rocks into bread, to seek earthly power and glory in exchange for His soul and to test God's faithfulness (vs. 3-12) Using scripture as His sword, Jesus effectively wards the Tempter off.

Temptation is a very real part of a Christian's life. Satan is hard at work every single day, concocting devious plans to destroy our imperishable faith. This shouldn't come as a surprise to those who claim Jesus as their Lord. We should EXPECT to spar with the devil on a regular basis. With this in mind, we need to be smart and sharpen up.

Anger is something I struggle with most. I am most tempted to become angry at my children when I am hungry and tired. If I have delayed eating by a few hours and have chosen not to take a break, it's as though I have removed my helmet. The enemy now recognizes that I am vulnerable and closes in. Now all it takes is one whining child and I am irate. I then respond harshly and my child's heart is injured by my sharp tone. Regret slowly seeps in, leading to a feeling of hopelessness that I will ever have a grip on my emotions. I begin to question my relationship with God and wonder if I am even a Christian. And so it goes, day in and day out. You would think I would wise up and go about my day differently but sadly I rarely do. It is on me to eat when I am hungry and to rest when I am tired. Period. If I am to be at my spiritual best, I must do my part to protect myself.

What about you? What leaves you vulnerable to Satan's attack? Perhaps it's not spending enough quality time with God. The bible refers to the Word of God as a sword (Eph6:17). It's our responsibility to pick it up and know how to handle it. Who goes into battle without a weapon? Do not be mistaken, our lives are lived in the middle of a battlefield. Maybe lust or impurity is an issue. If you are married, simply being intimate with your spouse on a consistent basis can build a wall of security around the both of you (1Cor.7:5). For those who are single, vigilantly guard what you allow your eyes to see. They are the gateway to our hearts (Mt7:22-23)

In the Garden of Gethsemene, Jesus said it best, "For the spirit is willing but the body is weak!" (Mt26:41) His disciples vowed to never fail Him but because they were tired, they could not support Him in His hour of need. Our physical bodies play a big part in our spiritual well being. We need to be proactive and take care of ourselves. There is so much at stake.

I realize these solutions are not clever or sophisticated. They are BASIC. We still may not win every battle but at least our wounds will no longer be self-inflicted.

"Proper" Worship

2010-05-04T18:26:00.000-07:00

Mt 26:6-12, 13
"While Jesus was in Bethany in the home of a man known as Simon the Leper, a woman came to Him with an alabaster jar of very expensive perfume, which she poured on His head as He was reclining at the table. When the disciples saw this, they were indignant. 'Why this waste?' they asked. 'This perfume could have been sold at a high price and the money given to the poor.' Aware of this, Jesus said to them, 'Why are you bothering this woman? She has done a beautiful thing to me. The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me... I tell you the truth, wherever this gospel is preached throughout the world, what she has done will also be told, in memory of her."

Recently I posted about this story as told in the book of Luke. After reading it again in the book of Mark, something different stood out to me. What struck me was Jesus' tenderness towards this woman and His ability to see her heart. It was in stark contrast to His disciples' harsh treatment of her. They were quick to criticize her extravagant show of devotion. Pouring her costly perfume over Jesus' head, she offered up her very best to Him. They rebuked her for being so cavalier with something so valuable. Couldn't she have shown Jesus her love some other way? After all, wasn't she being totally irresponsible and politically incorrect? Wouldn't providing for the poor be a more socially acceptable choice? There's always a critic whenever love is displayed with such wild abandonment. Something tells me that Jesus could care less about "proper" worship and is far more concerned with wholehearted worship, whatever that may look like. Jesus celebrated her unbridled affection. I hope I can shower Him with that same enthusiasm.

It's the Little Things

2010-04-24T10:32:00.000-07:00

Lk22:3-6
"Then Satan entered Judas Iscariot, who was one of the 12 disciples, and he went to the leading priests and captains of the Temple guard to discuss the best way to betray Jesus to them. They were delighted and they promised to give him money. So he agreed and began looking for an opportunity to betray Jesus so they could arrest him when the crowds weren't around."

Rarely do people set out to be the villain in a story. Being the hero or protagonist is much more admirable. So how does a person become the antagonist, the loathed bad guy or bad girl? It happens, probably in most cases, very slowly and subtly. One decision after another is made to compromise convictions, to bend the rules ever so slightly and to hug the shadows just enough so as to not be exposed. Then before you know it, darkness takes hold and it's grip is difficult to break free from. Is this what happened to Judas?

We know that in the beginning of Jesus' ministry he was chosen as one of the 12 apostles, men who were given the privilege of actively participating in Jesus' work (Mk3:14-19) He started out at the top. Only 12 individuals in all of human history had the honor of being in this elite group. The Son of God was his mentor and he could pick His brain any time he liked. He witnessed things that multitudes of people would give their lives to see. So what happened? What went wrong?

I believe it was the little things that took him out, or rather initiated his downfall. It says in John 12:4-6 that he was the group's treasurer and that he often secretly kept some of the apostles' money for himself. Maybe in the beginning it was just a coin or two. Maybe he felt justified in doing this since he wasn't making any money tagging along with this religious radical day after day. Who knows. All I can do is speak from personal experience. When I decide to compromise in some small way it inevitably leads to compromising in bigger ways, if left unchecked. Through that process my heart grows darker and harder until finally I am only a shadow of who I once was. On the surface, however, my fateful metamorphosis may not be apparent. In Luke 22:22-23 Jesus proclaimed that one of His favored few was a traitor. Not one of the other 11 men had any idea it was Judas. To them, he was just another devoted follower. Appearances can be so deceiving.

What if Judas had been open with the guys about his indiscretions? How would that have changed the course of his life? How would it have changed history? I doubt that in the beginning of his friendship with Jesus he had any idea he would ultimately betray him. This is a cautionary tale about what secrecy and unconfessed sin can do to our lives. So if you will excuse me, I need to call a good friend. I have some confessing that I need to do.

Just Between Us

2010-04-21T13:07:00.000-07:00

Luke 18:35-43
"As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind beggar was sitting beside the road. When he heard the noise of a crowd going past, he asked what was happening. They told him that Jesus the Nazarene was going by. So he began shouting, 'Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!'
'Be quiet!' the people in front yelled at him. But he only shouted louder, 'Son of David, have mercy on me!'
When Jesus heard him, he stopped and ordered that the man be brought to him. As the man came near, Jesus asked him, 'What do you want me to do for you?'
'Lord,' he said, 'I want to see.'
And Jesus said, 'All right, receive your sight! Your faith has healed you.' Instantly the man could see, and he followed Jesus, praising God. And all who saw it praised God, too."

I love the tenacity of this blind man. Here he is on the side of the road, languishing in darkness and he learns that the Son of God is passing by. Boldly he cries out for help but he is quickly hushed by those standing near. "Don't bother the Lord with your burdens" is what is communicated by these people's obvious irritation. But this man persists, undaunted. He refused to back down just because of a little discouragement from the peanut gallery. He recognized the rare opportunity at hand and he reached for it. Jesus noticed.

Time and time again I read in the scriptures how someone in desperation reaches out for Jesus and he is there to receive them. Not only does he receive them but he rewards them because they acted in faith. He was never too busy, never too important to acknowledge and compassionately meet the needs of another. In fact, he extended an open invitation to carry our loads. (Mt11:28)

Others may tell us not to bother the Lord with our troubles but that's just their own ignorance talking. We live in a "pull yourself up by the boot straps" kind of society. Perhaps they aren't aware that Jesus said, "Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest." (Mt11:28) With that in mind, let's remember that when we cry out for relief from Jesus, the opinions of others don't matter. It's between us and the Lord.

I Matter

2010-04-17T09:31:00.000-07:00

Luke 15:3-6
"So Jesus told them this story: 'If a man has a 100 sheep and one of them gets lost, what will he do? Won't he leave the 99 others in the wilderness and go to search for the one that is lost until he finds it? And when he has found it, he will joyfully carry it home on his shoulders.'"

In the busyness of my life and caring for three young children, I can often feel like I am invisible. The demands of my family cry out and I respond, quickly and efficiently. If I am not careful, my own needs get swept under the rug, only to be tripped over later as I collapse into a glob of emotion. I sometimes wonder, "Who is looking out for me? Who is fighting for me?"

This passage speaks to my weary heart. In it, I hear Jesus telling me, "You matter to me. You are important to me. You are worth searching for, fighting for and rejoicing over."

One of my favorite scriptures in the bible is in Isaiah 49:15-16 "Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forget, I will not forget you! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands; your walls are ever before me."

If you are feeling invisible, forgotten or without value in this broken world, know that the God who made you sees you, is fighting for you and has you carved on His hands.

Illumination

2010-03-30T16:31:00.000-07:00

Matthew 5:14-16
"You are the light of the world - like a city on a hilltop that cannot be hidden. No one lights a lamp and then puts it under a basket. Instead, a lamp is placed on a stand, where it gives light to everyone in the house. In the same way, let your good deeds shine out for all to see, so that everyone will praise your heavenly Father."

Light is powerful. Think of the movie "I Am Legend" with Will Smith. He was one lone survivor living in an urban wasteland. By day, he would hunt for food and scour the streets for anything he could use for sustenance and solace. By night, he would barricade himself indoors, balled up in an empty bathtub, attempting to elude the ravenous zombies that only came out after the sun slipped beneath the horizon. The sun's light kept him safe.

Why are we so afraid of the dark? There is something in us that innately craves the comfort of candescence. Most children can attest to this. I would be curious to find out how darkness effects the nature of crime. What kind of calls do 911 operators typically receive when the moon appears? Some of the fiercest predators, like the lion and shark, do their best work at night. Think of the things that lurk in the shadows and scurry about when daylight fades; roaches, rats and spiders to name a few. Notice how they scatter when a single light switch is flipped.

Light is important. Without it, nothing would grow and we would eventually die. Light promotes life and this is what Jesus is all about. Jesus is the author of life. He compares His followers to brilliant lamps that illuminate the blackness. The role of Jesus' disciples is an invaluable one. We were created to shine. Reflecting God's light through a lifestyle of good deeds is our purpose. It wouldn't make sense to use a lamp to brush your teeth or cut your steak. You'd be a fool if you used it to sweep the floor or file your nails. If you are a Christian, don't neglect your calling or deny what you were fashioned for. The world is a tragically dark place. The people of this world need you to burn brightly so you can safely guide them Home.

Dirty Heart

2010-03-27T14:18:00.000-07:00

Luke 8:4-8
"One day Jesus told a story in the form of a parable to a large crowd that had gathered from many towns to hear Him. 'A farmer went out to plant his seed. As he scattered it across his field, some seed fell on a footpath, where it was stepped on, and the birds ate it. Other seed fell among rocks. It began to grow, but the plant soon wilted and died for lack of moisture. Other seed fell among thorns that grew up with it and choked out the the tender plants. Still other seed fell on fertile soil. This seed grew and produced a crop that was a hundred times as much as had been planted!' "

In the verses that follow, Jesus goes on to explain to His disciples that the seed is God's word and the 4 different soils are essentially the hearts of 4 different types of people. Depending on where I am in my walk with God, I could be any of those 4 soils. The condition of my heart is always changing. Our hearts were created to be a place filled with life, like a healthy garden. Yet so often, the opposite is true.

In the story, the seed that fell along the path represents those who have allowed a lot of things to saunter through their hearts. Perhaps the owners of these kinds of hearts lack discretion, inviting in traffic of all kinds. It takes a while for a path to be formed. A lot of feet need to tread upon that ground to make it hard and impenetrable. A hard heart cannot receive the seed of God's word. Instead, the seed just lays there in the scorching sun, waiting to be picked off by any passing bird. After reading this parable, I almost got the feeling that the birds were somehow patrolling the path for seeds. Isn't that how Satan works? He's always watching and waiting for an opportunity to steal what God is trying to plant in our hearts. So what do we do if our hearts are as hard as concrete? Grab a jack hammer and break it up! There is soft soil underneath that crusty exterior. Dig until you find it. Put up some appropriate boundaries and protect your heart, value your heart. God does. He even calls it the wellspring of life. (Prov.4:23)

The seed that fell on the rocky soil grew enthusiastically but soon shriveled in the baking sun. The reason? The soil lacked depth and the roots had nowhere to go. This can be true with us. We can hear God's word and make an emotional commitment to apply it to our lives but if we lack character and deep conviction, our "faith" will evaporate. So what's a rocky heart to do? Deal with the rocks, one by one.

The seed that fell among thorns was surrounded by other plants competing for its space in the garden. Because this soil was left unattended, greedy weeds took over and the delicate plant was overrun. Of all the soils, I relate to this one the most. There are a lot of things contending for my heart and vying for my attention. I have a husband and 3 young children. Need I say more? Worry and distraction can literally wrap their fingers around my throat and immobilize me. What's the remedy? Pulling up the things that don't belong and setting up appropriate boundaries with the things that do, so that God has some room to work in my heart.

What about the coveted fertile soil? Who are these people? They are people who have taken responsibility for the condition of their hearts. The soil of their hearts has been carefully plowed up, cleared of stones and weeds, it's boundaries thoughtfully marked, ready to receive and embrace what God is offering. Much effort is put into keeping this soil healthy but the rewards far outweigh the cost. I hope you will invest some time to cultivate the precious soil of your heart.

It's Personal

2010-03-26T14:29:00.000-07:00

Luke 7:36-39
"One of the pharisees asked Jesus to have dinner with him, so Jesus went to his home and sat down to eat. When a certain immoral woman from that city heard He was eating there, she brought a beautiful alabaster jar filled with expensive perfume. Then she knelt behind Him at His feet, weeping. Her tears fell on His feet, and she wiped them off with her hair. Then she kept kissing His feet and putting perfume on them. When the Pharisee who had invited Him saw this, he said to himself, 'If this man were a prophet, He would know what kind of woman is touching Him. She's a sinner!' "

As I read this passage today, I reflected on the significance of the perfume. I wondered, where did she get this expensive jar of perfume? Did one of her many lovers give it to her as a gift? Did she wear it often, possibly while seducing or being seduced by another? Certainly perfume can awaken desire. Desire was something she was familiar with, for the scriptures call her an immoral woman. And what about her hair? We know that it was long enough to be used as a towel to wipe Jesus' feet. Did she keep it this length for a reason? Long hair is generally considered more feminine, more alluring to a man. I cannot claim to know the motives hidden in her heart. All I can do is speculate. But what I do know is that she brought these intimate things to Jesus' feet. She was turning herself in.

It did not matter to her that she was not on the guest list to this stuffy dinner party thrown by a religious elitist. She decided that the chance to meet Jesus was worth the almost certain ridicule she would receive from the party's host. She was aware of her reputation. She knew the Pharisee would not welcome her but she clung to the hope that perhaps Jesus would receive her. If He would receive her, then any amount of humiliation was worth it. For she was painfully aware of who she was in light of Jesus' holiness. Her brokenness was made evident by her posture and her steady stream of tears. She didn't consider herself worthy of looking in Jesus' eyes but preferred kneeling behind Him as she kissed His calloused feet. And how did Jesus respond to her lavish show of love? Vs. 48 and 50 reads "Then Jesus said to the woman, 'Your sins are forgiven...Your faith has saved you; go in peace.' "

What about us? Are we willing to brave the embarrassment and criticism of others as we turn ourselves in to Jesus? It will require us making it personal, the way the immoral woman made it personal. She brought the tricks of her sultry trade to Jesus' feet. What will we bring to His feet? Will we bring our crack pipes and credit cards? Our liquor cabinets and refrigerators? Our cell phone records and Facebook account? Our prescriptions and subscriptions? What about the hard-drive of our minds and the pages of our hearts? If we want redemption, we must bring all of ourselves to Jesus' feet and weep at the disparity between us and our Lord. When we do this, we will truly be free.

Give and Take

2010-03-25T20:27:00.000-07:00

Luke 6:17-19
"When they came down from the mountain, the disciples stood with Jesus on a large, level area, surrounded by many of His followers and by the crowds. There were people from all over Judea and from Jerusalem and from as far north as the seacoasts of Tyre and Sidon. They had come to hear Him and to be healed of their diseases; and those troubled by evil spirits were healed. Everyone tried to touch Him, because healing power went out from Him, and He healed everyone."

This passage got me thinking... The landscape was swollen with people hungry to grab a piece of Jesus, eager to be among His entourage. Stalking Him from place to place, they frothed at the mouth for what they could get from Him. Jesus, true to character, graciously gave with no strings attached. But who among the masses was included in His heavenly elite? Who can claim Jesus as their Lord? It is only those who are willing to give for Jesus.