Salvation Is an Adventure

Lent--A Time for Family Renewal

2012-02-22T19:09:00.003-05:00

Families are being pulled in many different directions these days. It seems as though there is not much time to spend together with each other as a family. Couple that with the fact that family values just do not exist any more in main stream media outlets like television and movies, it has become incredibly difficult to make families a priority.

Our culture, our very society is being torn apart and at the heart of the dismantling of our society is an attack on families. Lent provides an awesome opportunity to renew the family. In renewing and rebuilding the family, we will renew and rebuild the Church, and society.

Allow me to digress for a moment...Many people think that the story of Noah’s Ark in the bible is all about saving the animals from the destruction of humanity. What is the story of Noah’s Ark really about? It’s about God calling on the family to renew and rebuild the earth—Noah, his wife, and their sons.

We are in need of a renewal. Our society needs to be rebuilt and renewed. Who is God going to call on this time? The same people that he used in the story of Noah—the family.

Take time this Lent to look seriously at your family. Do you truly make family a priority? Do you spend time with your children and spouse without the distractions of the television, internet, or any other electronic device? Do you talk to your children or spouse? I mean really talk to them—not just asking what’s for dinner or what they did at school, but how they feel, what they struggle with, what brings them joy?

Being a father of five, I understand how difficult it is to carve time out of our busy schedules to make family a priority. But I also understand how important families are. The Church also understands the importance of family. Blessed John Paul II said “As the family goes, so goes the nation and so goes the whole world in which we live”. If the family continues to deteriorate and move down the path that it is currently on, then the nation and world will deteriorate and continue down that same path.

So, what can you do? The first thing is to rearrange priorities if necessary. Here’s how I try to arrange my priorities (I’m not always successful, but I try):

1. My relationship with God

2. My relationship with my spouse

3. My relationship with my children

4. Everything else.

Like I said, this is not easy. But it is necessary. Christ didn't come into the world to make it easy. He never said that carrying the crosses we are to bear would be easy. But he does give us the wisdom, understanding, and courage to do what he calls us to do. The Holy Spirit will guide any family that opens their hearts to the will of the Father.

Lent is a time for renewal of the family. Pray with your children. Pray with your spouse. And be open to the promptings of the Holy Spirit in your families to bring about that renewal that is necessary in our society. We, as families, are called to do today what Noah and his family did centuries ago.

Tending the Temple--A Book Review

2011-12-03T10:21:00.001-05:00

When I found out about my good friend Shane Kapler writing a new book I was very excited! I had read Shane's first book, The God Who Is Love, when it came out. Tending the Temple: 365 Days of Spiritual and Physical Devotions is a devotional put together by Shane, Kevin Vost (Fit for Eternal Life), and Peggy Bowes (The Rosary Workout). This book provides a spiritual devotion for every day of the year. What is amazing about this devotional is that the authors were able to find a saint or a feast for every single day of the year! I have never seen a saint devotional before that had an entry for every day of the year. The well known and popular saints, like St. Francis of Assisi and St. Rose of Lima are represented as well as lesser known saints, like Blessed Luigi Beltrame Quattrocchi and his wife Blessed Maria Corsini-Quattrocchi, who in 2001 became the first married couple to be beatified together! Our Catholic faith is rich with wonderful saints, feasts, and holy men and women and this book provides an opportunity to learn more about them and discover new ones that we may have never heard of before.

In addition to providing us with spiritual food to enrich our lives, the book provides a unique second set of devotions--physical devotions. Each day the authors give the readers advice and suggestions to take what was learned about the saints and carry it out in some sort of action. It may be an exercise to assist the reader in becoming physically fit or it may be advice on how to live a life of holiness.

Learning about the saints of our Church means nothing unless you carry what you learn out in action. Tending the Temple provides us with an opportunity to not only learn about the saints but also gives us advice on how to take what we learn and carry out into some sort of action in our lives.

Mature Faith

2011-03-22T14:48:00.000-04:00

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Working as a full-time youth minister (and for the Church) I interact with a wide range of people. I interact with the teens in my program. I interact with their parents and other parents. I interact with other youth ministers in the diocese. I even interact with the older, retired parishioners of the parishes I serve. It seems as though everyone has a comment or opinion about what I do (sometimes both!). I get everything from "Wow! That must be hard work" to "Well, at least its a job". One comment I never expected to get, particularly from other youth ministers, is "They can't handle that."

This comment really bothers me. I've heard it a few times, mostly centering around an idea that I have that I'm sharing with other youth ministers. I share an idea, one that I believe will ignite the fire of the Holy Spirit in the youth or deepen their understanding of their faith, and the response is "they can't handle that." These comments are coming from the same youth ministers who fill their meetings with games, skits, and activities. Not that there is anything wrong with these things (I use games and activities in my meetings, too), but to think that a high school youth cannot handle being challenged in his faith is bothersome.

When I first became a youth minister, I attended a workshop that suggested the idea (among others) that most Catholic adults are walking around with the faith of a 4th or 5th grader. It was suggested that most Catholic adults do not have a mature faith. I ask why? Why don't most adults have a mature faith? I think that a big part of that is the fact that most catechists, youth ministers, priests, or anyone who works with youth in the Church have the mindset that "they can't handle that."

When I started high school, my parish was without a youth ministry program. When I became interested in my faith the summer between my sophomore and junior year, I was invited to a youth ministry program that was not a part of my parish. I joined and loved it. It was a thriving, Spirit-filled program that drew about 20-30 teens every week, even though it met on Wednesdays, when most of us had sports, homework, and other commitments. Shortly after I started attending that program, my parish hired a youth minister. I was excited about it and jumped on board to be a part of a program and to take a leadership role. The program was a miserable failure. It never got off the ground and never drew more than a half-dozen teens to the weekly meetings.

What was the difference between the two? For one thing, the thriving program was established and had been running for many years. It's hard to start a youth ministry program from scratch. I know. I've done it. But I think the greatest difference was the approach to the program. The thriving and active program (the one I joined first) challenged us teens. The adults running the program would not accept mediocrity, would not accept that there were certain things about our faith that we couldn't handle. The other program, the one at my own parish, filled the teens time with movies, games, and food. (Again, there is nothing wrong with movies, games, and food, but if that is all your program is about, you're missing the point).

The way I see it, we don't challenge the youth today. We have very low expectations for our youth. We don't think they can handle many things, particularly when it comes to their faith. This is a tragedy. Teens are going to grow up living lives of mediocrity. They will never rise above the low expectations we set for them. I'm not being trying to be prideful, but I believe that I have an adult faith. That adult faith came from the youth ministry program that challenged me. It came from the program that did not accept that there were things that I was not mature enough to handle. If we have an attitude that the youth cannot handle being challenged in their faith, then they will never mature.

---------------------------

We need to be challenged. All of us, young and old, need to be challenged. It is through being challenged, being stretched, that we are able to grow. If we live lives of mediocrity, never being challenged in anything, then we will never grow. We will never grow mentally. We will never grow emotionally. We will never grow spiritually.

"I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, I will spit you out of my mouth." (Revelation 3:15-16)

Where Do We Start? Thoughts On Stewardship

2011-03-15T12:28:00.001-04:00

I attended a meeting the other day. It was a gathering of the heads of the different ministries for one of the two parishes I work for. The focus of the meeting was to present--and brainstorm--ideas on how we can, as a parish, increase participation in the different ministries of service that the parish currently has. We are looking for a way to increase the stewardship of time and talent in the parish. A lot of good ideas were discussed. We discussed having a ministry fair, a "Ministry Sunday" once a month where one of the ministries of the parish is highlighted, ministry nights for the parents of the Early Childhood Center and Religious Education, and many other good ideas. At the end of the meeting some time was set aside, as with all discussions about stewardship, for a discussion on money. Overall, it was a productive meeting. We came up with many ideas to try to increase the participation of time, talent, and, of course, treasure from the parishioners of the parish.

As I was sitting there, listening to what the parish stewardship committee head was presenting, I started thinking that we have it all backwards--that we, as a Church in the U.S. (not just this parish, but many parishes) oftentimes have it backwards. There is such a focus on service and on social justice--almost too much of a focus. Don't get me wrong. It is important to serve. There are many wonderful ministries at the parishes I work for, and all parishes, that do great work at supporting the church, it's parishioners, and those in the community around the parish. We need that. It is a necessary, and important, part of our Catholic faith. But, we have it backwards. We focus so much on service that we forget something very important. We are, first and foremost, a community of faith. We are so busy nurturing the corporal needs of our parishes and communities that we oftentimes neglect the spiritual needs.

We are losing Catholics. Many are leaving the Catholic Church to go to other Christian churches. Some just stop going to church altogether. I believe that most lost Catholics still sit in our pews, coming back week after week to fulfill their Sunday obligation. We can talk until we are blue in the face, coming up with idea after idea on how to get these lost Catholics to participate with more time, talent, and treasure. We can put on the greatest festival that money can buy to try to highlight the different ministries and increase participation in those ministries. But those lost Catholics, the ones that are filling up our pews week after week, won't participate. They won't participate because they don't care.

Why don't they care? They don't care because they are not engaged in their faith. They don't understand the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus. They don't understand how to have a personal relationship with Jesus. They have no passion for their faith.

People give to their passions. They give of their time. They give of their talent. They give of their treasure. Look at a parent who has a child with autism. That parent becomes passionate about the cause for finding a cure for autism. Or a husband who lost his wife to breast cancer. He becomes passionate about the fight to find a cure. These people are passionate about these causes because they are personally affected by them. If we, as a Church, take time to nurture a personal faith relationship with Christ then Catholics will give of their time, talent, and yes, treasure.

In addition to not caring because they are not engaged in their faith, there is another reason why these lost Catholics don't give of their time, talent, and treasure. If I had to wager a guess, I'd say that about 40% of Catholics filling the pews across the U.S. are walking around with empty cups. They have nothing to give. Another 50% of Catholics have half full cups. They have a little bit to give but are unwilling to give anything for fear of losing what little they have.

I have found in my own job of serving the youth of two parishes that if I have a half full cup or an empty cup that I am ineffective as a youth minister. I cannot give to the youth what I do not have. Unless I have an overflowing cup, I cannot be a good servant to anyone--my wife, my kids, or the parishes I serve.

How does one obtain an overflowing cup? There is only one way to fill a cup to overflowing, and that is through a personal relationship with our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Unless and until we spend time every day with Jesus in prayer and dialogue we will never fill our cups.

I said earlier that we, as a Church in the U.S., oftentimes have it backwards. Instead of focusing on service, instead of focusing on increasing participation in these ministries of service, we need to first focus on faith formation. We need to help these lost Catholics in the pews to understand their faith. Remember, it was not until the Holy Spirit descended upon the Apostles in the upper room that they were able to go out and serve. The same holds true for the Church today. We need to invite the Holy Spirit to descend upon our parishes through providing opportunities for faith formation for all ages--youth and adult. When we invite the Spirit into our churches then, and only then, will we be empowered to give of our time, talent, and treasure. We will engage the disengaged. We will find the lost Catholics.

Running Out of Steam....

2011-03-03T12:19:00.000-05:00

It's been 2 1/2 years since I started this blog. I originally started it as a way to reach out to the teens in my youth group outside of our weekly meetings. With 9,600 visits and 13,500 page views, my meager expectations for this blog have been blown away. With the help of Fr. Dwight Longenecker, Mark Shea, the Archbold brothers, and others, none of whom I have ever met, I have had hits from every state in the union and 100 other countries.(Thank you for your support.) I've been blessed by writing this blog. I've been blessed by those that have followed my stream of consciousness. I've been blessed by those who cared enough to leave a comment. I've been blessed most of all by the journey this adventure of salvation has led me down. I have learned a lot. I've learned a lot about myself. I have grown in my faith. What started out as an opportunity to transform the lives of the teens I work with, this blog ended up transforming my life. I am a much stronger Catholic as a result of putting "pen to paper" my thoughts, feelings and faith.

With that being said, I'm running out of steam. I've been neglecting my blog somewhat over the past couple of months. Part of this neglect is due to the busyness of my life. Between increased work responsibilities, cub scouts with my son, and other family commitments, I haven't had much time to write. I've also committed to being a regular contributor to Catholic Dads, writing a weekly feature called A Father's Faith. I've been debating in my mind for weeks whether or not I should just stop writing this blog altogether. I've decided what to do.

I'm not going to give up this venture completely. I just don't feel that I can walk away from this labor of love and not look back. Going forward, I will write only when I feel prompted by the Holy Spirit, instead of (as I have done in the past) trying to find something to write at least once a week. I may go weeks, or months, between posts. But I'm still here. I will poke my head in from time to time when the Spirit moves me to write something. I know I may lose followers without the constant activity on my blog, but I don't care. I don't write for them. I write what God wants me to write and when He wants me to write it.

If you want to get in my head on a regular basis, you can always visit me every Friday over at Catholic Dads.

Book Review: In Convesation with God

2011-03-01T11:10:00.000-05:00

Are you looking for help with your prayer? Are you looking for some spiritual reading that will help you to enter into a conversation with God? Well then, I recommend none other than the In Conversation with God series of daily meditations by Francis Fernandez. This series of seven books walks you through the Liturgical year, giving you a meditation based on scripture each day of the year.

Volume Three, the book I selected for review focuses on Ordinary Time, Weeks 1-12. (Why, you ask, did I start with Volume 3? Well, it's because we were in the midst of the first part of Ordinary Time when I ordered the book!) The weekday meditations focus on one of the scriptures for the day. During the week, the meditations may come from any of the three years of the cycle. For Sundays, there is a specific meditation for each year in the cycle. You just pick on the cycle we are in and read and meditate on that selection.

What do I like about this series of books? First of all, I like the fact that it follows the Liturgical Year. The Volumes are as follows:

Volume 1: Advent, Christmas, and Epiphany

Volume 2: Lent, Holy Week, and Eastertide

Volume 3: Ordinary Time, Weeks 1-12

Volume 4: Ordinary Time, Weeks 12-23

Volume 5: Ordinary Time, Weeks 24-34

Volume 6: Special Feasts: January - June

Volume 7: Special Feasts: July - December

I also like the theological focus of each of the reflections. The daily reflections appeal to both the intellect and the spirit. It draws you into the scripture and makes you think about what is written in the Word of God. It has given me a lot of food for thought and has drawn me into a deeper conversation with God.

You can purchase this book here.

I wrote this review of In Conversation with God, Vol. 3 for the Tiber River Blogger Review program, created by Aquinas and More Catholic Goods, your source for Baptism Gifts and First Communion Gifts. For more information and to purchase, please visit Aquinas and More Catholic Goods.
Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.
I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

I'm Scared, I'm REEEAAALLLY Scared!

2011-02-04T15:48:00.000-05:00

Has something ever happened to you that scared the living daylights out of you? Have you ever been consumed by something that you heard, read, or saw that really frightened you? For me, one of the most frightening things that has ever happened to me was when I was in college and got into a horrible car accident where I drove my car under the bed of an 18 wheeler flat-bed truck.That moment, that brush with death, was incredibly frightening for me. First of all, I thought I was going to die. In fact, eye witnesses to the accident said that they expected to pull a dead body out of the car. Furthermore, after I realized I didn't die (I actually walked away from it virtually unharmed) I was faced with the fact that I was 10 hours from home, in the midst of a nasty snow storm, and without a way to get home. I was scared. I was REEEAAALLLY scared. It was probably the most frightening thing I have gone through in my life....until today.

Today, I read something that frightened me even more than that car accident:

On the day we die, I believe that the God of love gives us what we love the most.

~Fr. Larry Richards

What an incredibly frightening thing to think about. Not the death part...the part about God giving us what we love most when we die. What do I love the most? When I look at my sinfulness, and the root of that sin, I find that what I love the most is......ME. I'm scared to spend eternity with nothing but me. It's not that I think that I'm such a horrible person that no one would want to spend eternity with me. My wife seems to like me. Whether or not she would want to spend eternity with me I'm not so sure about (I certainly hope so!) But for me to spend eternity with nothing but myself and my own selfish desires is another story. Here on earth, I can see glimpses of God's love for me despite my selfishness. And that gives me hope. It gives me comfort. But to spend eternity without even a glimpse of God's love is a miserable thought. It scares me to think that I am choosing, right now, in this life, what God is going to give me for eternity. What scares me even more is that I am not choosing to love God. Instead, I'm choosing to love myself and my selfish desires. Don't get me wrong. There is nothing wrong with loving yourself. But when that self-love becomes selfish-love it turns into sin. As a result, I love sin more than I love God. That love of sin will lead me straight to hell.

But it's not too late. As of the writing of this blog post I still have a pulse. I'm still breathing. I have the opportunity to change my mind about what, or who, I love the most. I pray that the Holy Spirit will give me the strength of will to choose to love God above all else.

Be A Man: Book Review

2011-02-04T14:25:00.003-05:00

I could go on and on quoting different passages from Fr. Larry Richards' book that have inspired me to become a better man. But if I were to do that, I would end up copying most of the book into this review. What a truly wonderful book this is. It is easy to read--hard to put down in fact--and inspirational. I have ready many books on faith and spirituality and Be A Man is among the best books I have ever read.

Be A Man is an insightful, thought provoking look at the challenges that men face. It provides sound advice on how to carry out our mission as men of God in all areas of our life. He challenges men to be strong against the temptations and daily struggles we encounter in our lives.

Each chapter ends with an action plan and a list of questions for reflection. This gives the readers an opportunity to pause, reflect on what they just read and to take it to prayer.

Don't let the title fool you! This book is not just for men. Although Fr. Richards speaks directly to men in his book, I highly recommend women read it too. It will give women an insight into the struggles that men face, but it will also inspire women to be all that God created them to be as well. The advice and inspiration that Fr. Richards gives in Be A Man is good for women as well as men.

I wrote this review of Be A Man! for the Tiber River Blogger Review program, created by Aquinas and More Catholic Goods, your source for Baptism Gifts and First Communion Gifts. For more information and to purchase, please visit Aquinas and More Catholic Goods.
Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.
I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

The Death Industry

2011-01-27T00:17:00.000-05:00

A few weeks ago, I was driving down a major road in my area. It is one of those big, 6 lane roads with lots of traffic and lots of businesses along it. I was in the far right lane heading home from work when all of a sudden, I was nearly run off the road by another driver. I had to slam on my brakes and swerve into the shoulder of the road in order to avoid being hit by this crazy driver. I recovered quickly and continued down the road, keeping a safe distance behind the guy who just cut me off. At first I blew it off as one of our winter residents here in Florida, "Snow Birds" as we like to call them; older, retired residents who spend a few months here in the winter to avoid the cold north. About a mile down the road the car that cut me off turned into the parking lot of a professional center where I know there is an abortion clinic. I know there is a clinic there because I have spent some time in front of this clinic praying for the end of abortion. The thought occurred to me that this person just nearly ran me off the road because I am pro-life. No, I don't think he could have recognized me for praying outside the clinic. I'm not one of the regulars who are there week after week praying for an end to abortion. All he had to do was to look at my car to see that I was pro-life. You see, in Florida, we have the option to pay a little extra for our annual license plate renewal in order to donate to a charity. As you can guess, my license plate proclaims "Choose Life."

I have no idea whether this person worked for the abortion clinic or not, as there are other businesses in that same professional center, but it got me thinking. Those who work in the abortion industry, or rather, "The Death Industry" are surrounded by death. Spending day after day, week after week, surrounded by death and causing death could result, for many, in a complete and utter lack of respect for life. The recent news about abortionist Kermit Gosnell shows that, at least for him, this is true.

I have never been inside an abortion clinic, nor do I ever plan on stepping inside one, but I imagine it being very cold, physically and emotionally. I imagine all the employees, from the receptionist, to the nurses, to the doctor, being emotionless, showing no sympathy, no caring, and certainly no love to their patients. I can imagine the patient silently following the nurse down the hall to the room where the "procedure", or rather, murder is committed. She is full of emotion, the only one with emotion in the room. Maybe she's crying, desperate for answers, for a way out. Her emotion goes unanswered as the doctor and nurses carry out the abortion of her child. There is no respect for the mother, and there is certainly no respect for the child.

Thinking about this complete and total lack of respect for ALL life could move some to anger. But it moves me to pity. I pity the doctors, the nurses, and the administrators in the "Death Industry". This pity brings to mind a scene from J.R.R. Tolkein's The Fellowship of the Ring novel (I'm not sure if this scene is the same in the movie. It's been awhile since I've seen it). In this scene, Galdalf is telling Frodo of the Ring and how it came into the hands of Frodo's uncle, Bilbo. Smeagol, who would later become Gollum, was so consumed with the Ring that he would stop at nothing to possess it, even murdering his friend, Deagol. Frodo is at a loss of what to do with the ring, which is now in his possession:

"What am I to do? What a pity that Bilbo did not stab that vile creature, when he had a chance!"

"Pity? It was Pity that stayed his hand. Pity, and Mercy: not to strike without need. And he has been well rewarded, Frodo. Be sure that he took so little hurt from evil, and escaped in the end, because he began his ownership of the Ring so. With Pity."

"I am sorry," said Frodo. "But I am frightened; and I do not feel any pity for Gollum."

"You have not seen him," Gandalf broke in.

"No, and I don't want to," said Frodo. "I can't understand you. Do you mean to say that you, and the Elves, have let him live on after all those horrible deeds? Now at any rate he is as bad as an Orc, and just an enemy. He deserves death."

"Deserves it! I daresay he does. Many that live deserve death. And some that die deserve life. Can you give it to them? Then do not be too eager to deal out death in judgment. For even the very wise cannot see all ends. I have not much hope that Gollum can be cured before he dies, but there is a chance of it. And he is bound up with the fate of the Ring. My heart tells me that he has some part to play yet, for good or ill, before the end; and when that comes, the pity of Bilbo may rule the fate of many -- your not least."

We need not react in anger at the atrocities being performed in abortion clinics across the nation. We need to react with pity, and mercy. For no matter how little respect those in the "Death Industry" may have for life, we should not be too eager to deal out judgment. "For even the wise cannot see all ends." Even Gollum, as vile and evil as he was, played a significant role in helping Frodo bring an end to evil.

We need to pray for those in the "Death Industry". We need to pray for an end to the industry. For those, like Kermit Gosnell, who we see little hope for, there is still a chance that they may be cured before they die. We need to pray for them. Pray that they may come to see the light. Those in the "Death Industry" can change. They can come to an understanding of and a respect for life. Abby Johnson, a former director for Planned Parenthood, came to see the light. Others can, too.

Carrying the Christ Child

2011-01-03T15:17:00.000-05:00

The traditional end of the Christmas season has come and gone with the Feast of the Epiphany yesterday. Upon reflecting on the season of Advent and Christmas, one of my favorite moments of this past season was the vigil Mass on Christmas Eve. We attended the 4:00 PM Mass as is our tradition and arrived at the church at about 3:00. I took my 16 month old out into the narthex before Mass to let her run around for a while (she has a difficult time sitting still for 2 minutes, much less 2 hours). As we were going back into the church to join the rest of our family, my pastor stopped me and asked if my wife and I would be willing to carry the baby Jesus statue from the church's Nativity in the opening procession. After a bit of discussion with Kari about what to do with the 5 kids as processed to the front of the church we decided to leave them in the capable hands of our 12 year old daughter. There were other families that we knew near them to keep an eye on them as well.

Kari and I headed to the back of the church where my pastor handed me baby Jesus. We stood there for a few minutes waiting for the opening processional song to begin. When the song began, I held the statue high over my head as we walked down the center of the church to the front, so that everyone could see. About half way down the aisle I was struck with the fact that I was carrying Jesus, the one we all worship. Not only was I carrying him, but I was holding him in such a way that all who were present could worship him as well. The thought gave me chills and I started to tear up as I walked down the center aisle.

Our Lord and Savior is much more than a statue. All too often we reduce Christ to a mere symbol or an ideal to strive for. While it is right and noble to strive to live up to the ideals that Christ lived out and symbolize for us, it is not enough. Christ, as a child in a manger or crucified on a cross, is not just a symbol. He is not just an ideal to strive for. Christ is living, present, and real. We cannot live up to the ideals he set for us through his birth, ministry, passion, and death until we realize this.

We are called to be Christ-like. However, we need to enter into a relationship with Christ in order to do this. Reading the bible and understanding the teachings of Christ is not enough. I can know all about a particular person in history that I admire, but in order to truly become like that person that I admire, I have to know him or her. You can read the bible cover to cover and every book about Christ that has ever been written. What you will end up with is a lot of knowledge about the person of Christ. But, it is not until you enter into a personal relationship with him through prayer and the sacraments that you can truly become Christ-like. Knowing about Christ is not the same as knowing Christ. We need to know him in order to be like him.

Jesus Loves Me This I Know.....

2010-12-20T15:36:00.001-05:00

".....for the bible tells me so." I have been struggling with something for the past week or two. There is a question that has been presenting itself to me over and over again, almost taunting me. It appeared first in reading Fr. Larry Richard's book, Be a Man! It has resurfaced many times in prayer. It even presented itself (although not directly) during the homily at Mass last Sunday. It's a question that I thought I knew the answer to. It's a question that I believe that I have had the right answer to throughout my childhood and adult life. And now I'm questioning it. I'm questioning whether my answer to this question most of my life is the right one. The question I have been struggling so much with is "Do I know that God the Father loves me?"

I've been Catholic my whole life. I went to Catholic grade school and Catholic high school. I spent time in the seminary. I'm working in Catholic youth ministry. My whole faith life has been based on the premise that, as the song says (sing with me now), "Jesus loves me this I know, for the bible tells me so." Jesus loves me. I understand that. But, do I know, in the depth of my being, that Jesus loves me? And, do I know how much Jesus loves me?

Like I said, I've been wrestling with this for a while now. I would have to say that when this question first presented itself to me I had to honestly say "No." I don't know that God loves me. If I knew that God loves me, if I knew how much He loves me, then I wouldn't make the decisions that I have been making. I wouldn't live for me. St. Joseph, in last Sunday's gospel had a decision to make. Was he going to take Mary as his wife, or was he going to walk away from it all? He had every right to be upset, to be angry, to be hurt. The woman he was betrothed to was pregnant, and it wasn't his child. Sure, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream, but how often do we wake up in the morning with the thought, "that was a weird dream", and then go on living our lives as if the dream meant nothing. Joseph had a choice to make. And he chose to marry Mary. And why did he say yes to taking Mary as his wife? Because he knew that God loved him.

Many of the choices I make in my life are all about me. They are all about how I feel. They are also a cry for love. We all have within us a deep seeded desire to be loved. It is how we were created. And the sole purpose of our creation is to be loved by God. Yet oftentimes we forget that, or, even worse, never even realize it. So, it is in this deep desire to be loved that all of our actions are a pursuit of that love.We want to be recognized by others, so we are prideful. We are jealous of the things others have and the attention they receive that we aren't receiving. We get angry when we don't get what we want. We find comfort in food and become gluttonous. We have a strong urge for love found in sexual intimacy, so we lust. We want to be loved, and yet we look everywhere for that love except to God, our loving Father. If I knew that God loved me, then I wouldn't make the choices I make. I would look to Him for love instead of others. St. Joseph could have done what was easy for him. He could have reacted out of anger or gotten jealous. He could have let his pride get the best of him. But he didn't. He knew that God loved him, and reacted with love out of that knowledge.

There's a second reason why I am uncertain of God's love for me, and that's my lack of trust. I don't trust that God has things in control. I don't trust that he will continue to provide everything that I need. I want to do things my way because I can (mostly) control the outcome. This lack of trust stems from not truly believing that God loves me. If I believed that He loves me, then I would be able to trust Him. I would know that God wants what's best for me. St. Joseph trusted God. He trusted God because he knew that God loved him. He knew that God was in control and that He wanted what was best for him.

I feel....I know, that I cannot move any further in my journey of faith until I know, deep in my heart, that Jesus loves me. Until I know that God loves me deep within my heart then I will continue to make the same mistakes. Until I know that God loves me I will be unable to trust Him. I will be unable to "float" and allow God's will to work in my life.

My Christmas present to Jesus (and myself) this year is to understand and to truly know that He loves me. I want to know that Jesus loves me not "because the bible tells me so" but because I feel the embrace of His love surrounding my whole being. I may not be able to accomplish it in a week. It will become my new year's resolution, too. But I know that it is the gift that Jesus wants. I know that nothing will make Him more happy than knowing that I know that He loves me.

Are You Ready for Christmas?

2010-12-17T10:29:00.000-05:00

Christmas is coming next Saturday. Being a father of 5, those who know me ask if my wife and I are ready for Christmas. They want to know if we've been able to do all the shopping, all the gift wrapping, all the preparing for Christmas morning. My response has been, "We're getting there. We've got most of the shopping done and have a few last minute gifts to buy." We've even been able to wrap a few of the presents instead of waiting to do it all on Christmas Eve, like we've done in the past. We are actually ahead of schedule. So, it looks like we're ready....or are we?

Are we really ready for the birth of our Lord and Savior? That's the question we should be asking each other. That's how I should have been responding to the question of whether or not we're ready for Christmas. Are we ready to receive Christ into the world, and into our hearts? That is a more difficult question to ask, and answer. Amidst the craziness and chaos of the holiday season, many of us (myself included) have lost sight of preparing our hearts for Christ. Am I ready to receive Jesus? Do I really know and understand that God the Father loves me? These are the questions we should be asking this time of year (or, rather, all year long!). We need to be less concerned with gifts and parties and shopping and more concerned with preparing our own hearts to receive the Father's love. I, personally, have not done a very good job at doing that this Advent season.

We've got a week left. I've got a lot of work to do to get ready for Christmas. The Church gives us four weeks of Advent to prepare our hearts for the coming of the Lord, and I'm trying to cram all that work into one week. With God's grace, it can be done. I need to get ready for Christmas. And next year, when someone asks me if we're ready for Christmas, I'm not going to answer with the progress we've made on our shopping lists, but rather with the progress I've made with preparing my heart to receive the Lord.

(cross-posted at Catholic Dads)

A New Tradition

2010-12-08T13:28:00.001-05:00

We are starting a new tradition this year in our household. I received a sample of oplatki from Aquinas&More. What, you ask, is oplatki? I wondered the same thing. Oplatki is a beautiful Christmas tradition in Eastern Europe. From the Aquinas & More Website:

Among Catholic families in Poland, Lithuania, Slovakia and the Czech Republic, the start of the traditional Wigilia (Christmas Eve Vigil) meal begins with the Oplatki, Oblatky, or Plotkele, a thin Communion-like rectangular wafer made of unleavened bread and stamped with different Christmas symbols. Some families call it the “bread of Love” and it is widely known in English-speaking countries simply as the Christmas wafer. Some eastern German families are also known to use a wafer called Opladen in their Christmas cooking.(read the whole story here.)

I'm really looking forward to this new tradition. We received enough oplatki to hand out to friends and family, so maybe they will start a new tradition as well.

(Note: I received a shipment of oplatki for free in return for writing an honest review.)

Where Do I Go From Here?

2010-12-06T13:54:00.000-05:00

Life is full of changes. It seems that there is one change after another, and once you get settled into and comfortable in one way of living, then you are thrown off course, in a new direction. Kari and I have been having this conversation quite a bit lately. We, or should I say, I, am settled in and comfortable with things at the moment. But I know that somewhere in the distance change is coming. I don't know what, when, or where, but change is coming. It always is. All of us have to change and adapt.

The human psyche has an incredible ability to adapt to change. Although that change is not always welcome, when it does come, the ability to adapt to that change is incredible. And once that change becomes the "new normal" then we, or at least I, become incredibly comfortable with that new normal. I think that is why, in part, change is not always welcome. We become comfortable with the status quo.

Not only is change imminent, it is necessary. If we become too comfortable with the status quo, then growth is stagnated. It is very difficult to change when you stay inside your comfort zones, whatever they may be. And once inside those comfort zones it becomes difficult to accept change. We don't want to become uncomfortable again. We fear what that change may bring. So we resist it. And when we resist that change in our life, we resist real growth that will help us to become better people.

God wants us to change. He is calling us to change. He called the apostles to abandon everything they had known and to follow Him. Did they know where they were going? No. Were they fearful? Maybe, but they left everything behind and followed the Lord. It is only in changing that we can stretch ourselves and grow. It is only in changing that we become new. "People do not put new wine in old wineskins" (Matthew 9:17). It is in becoming new that we become better equipped to receive the Body and Blood of Christ and to bring it to others.

One change that Kari and I are discerning is a call to the permanent diaconate. This is one of those changes that I feel deeply interested in, a change that I have been considering for about 16 years. It is also one of those changes that I want to run away from, not only because I fear what it may mean, but I also don't want to step outside my comfort zones, and becoming a deacon is outside my comfort zone. We spent the past two months attending discernment meetings here in the Diocese of St. Petersburg. And, after coming out of them, I am no more clear on what path to take. In fact, I'm less clear. I'm continuing my dialogue with Kari about it. I'm taking it to prayer. In fact, it is taking a substantial amount of my prayer time. Last week, during prayer, the following came to me:

I want you to become the voice of those that cannot speak. I want you to be the arms and legs of those who cannot carry themselves. Enter into my Word and be blessed by My Spirit. Go out and proclaim the Gospel to all you encounter. Be my voice to the needy. Be my worker in the vineyard. Commit yourself fully to serving me. Heal others so that you may be healed. Serve others that you may be served. Love others that you may be loved.

I'm not saying that I heard the voice of God speak to me these words (It would be easier for me if He did. That way I would know it was from Him). I'm saying that this is the sense I was given by God through prayer.

Kari shared with me something that her spiritual director shared with her. Pray. Pray that God will open the doors that He wants open and close the doors that He wants closed.

Lord, I give my life to you. I don't know where you want me to go. I don't know what you want me to do about becoming or not becoming a deacon. I don't know what you want me to do about other important changes in my life that will inevitably come down the road. I give it all to you. I pray that you will make your path clear to me. I pray that you will open the doors that you want opened and close the doors that you want closed. I trust you, Lord. I trust you. Amen.

Grace of Ars: A Book Review

2010-11-30T11:58:00.000-05:00

Let me start out by saying that the Grace of Ars was not what I was looking for. I was looking for a biography of sorts on St. John Vianney. While this does contain biographical information on the Cure of Ars, the book is mainly about the priesthood of which St. John Vianney is the patron (Maybe I should have read the description first.)

With that being said, I read the book anyway, and I enjoyed it. The book takes each aspect of the priesthood from ordination to the Sacrament of Reconciliation and describes in detail the role and call of the priesthood. The author, Fr. Frederick Miller, holds up St. John Vianney as a model for priestly life. I can honestly say that I learned a lot about the priesthood, the call and role of a priest, and the struggles that priests face day to day. I have a renewed appreciation for our priests.

This is a great book for priests. St. John Vianney lived during a difficult time this book helps priests (and seminarians) to understand how and why St. John Vianney should be a model for priestly life. The Cure of Ars was assigned to a very difficult parish, one where there was no faith or spirituality present. He worked hard to change the church, and the town. He spent up to 17 hours a day hearing confessions. What an amazing model for all priests!

While the primary audience for this book is priests, I do recommend that all Catholics pick up a copy of this book. Read it for yourself. Try to understand what a priest goes through to serve you. And pray for your priest. Our priests struggle with many things in our modern culture and they need our prayers now more than ever. And with Christmas coming, this book is a great gift for the priests in your parish.

You can purchase this book here.

I wrote this review of The Grace of Ars for the Tiber River Blogger Review program, created by Aquinas and More Catholic Goods, your source for Oplatki and Advent Calendars. For more information and to purchase, please visit Aquinas and More Catholic Goods.
Tiber River is the first Catholic book review site, started in 2000 to help you make informed decisions about Catholic book purchases.
I receive free product samples as compensation for writing reviews for Tiber River.

The Night I Was Homeless

2010-11-29T15:51:00.000-05:00

Over-eating. Shopping malls. Toy stores. Waiting in long lines to get the great deal. Wading through busy stores. Surfing the net to find the best price. What did you do this holiday weekend? Did you eat too much on Thursday and then spend too much the rest of the weekend? Me? Yeah, I probably ate too much on Thursday, but I didn't do any shopping. After working in retail for 12 years I hate the idea of going anywhere near a store the weekend after Thanksgiving. But millions of people nationwide went out shopping this weekend for Black Friday "deals". There were lines of people outside of toy stores and electronic stores just to save a couple of bucks. (The not-so secret industry plan is to get you into the store to save a couple of dollars on 1 item just to gouge you on other items that you buy while you are there, so are you really saving any money? The only real way to save money is to not spend it. I know, working in the industry has made me cynical....but I digress.)

I spent the weekend before Thanksgiving doing something I had never done before. I spent the weekend homeless. Yes, you heard correctly, I was "homeless" for about 18 hours. I took 8 teenagers on a homeless retreat at a parish in my diocese. This retreat is designed to heighten the awareness of homelessness to the teenagers and to simulate homelessness. They were allowed to bring only 3 items with them--and no electronics which meant...no cell phones. If you spend any time with teens these days you know that they never go anywhere without their cell phones. Many teens brought tarps to sleep on and sleeping bags. Some teens brought cardboard boxes to sleep in. In all, about 140 teens from 10 parishes in our diocese attended the retreat. The retreat was even featured on a local news station. You can read the story and watch the video here.

It was a truly moving experience that started with Mass, talks, and Eucharistic Adoration. We were served dinner of a cup of soup, 2 crackers, and lemonade. Then the teens (and us adults) spent the night sleeping outside. It was chilly, but not cold. (Thank God we live in Florida!) Everything got wet from the dew. On Sunday morning, we got up at about 5:30, cleaned up our "campsites", and had a breakfast of 1 danish and a choice of either a cup of juice or hot chocolate.

The most moving experience for me for the whole weekend was going to Pinellas Hope. Pinellas Hope is a program of Catholic Charities in the Diocese of St. Petersburg. To give a brief summary, Pinellas Hope is also known as "Tent City". It is not a traditional homeless shelter. When the homeless arrive, they are first assigned to a tent that they can sleep in. After they get a job they can move into a "house". It is a small shack built of wood about the size of a typical home's bathroom. The newest addition to Pinellas Hope (not yet in use) is 80 transitional efficiency apartments where the homeless can move into and pay rent on. The whole mission of Pinellas Hope is to help the homeless get back on their feet and in a home and job of their own. You can read more details on their website.

What was most moving to me in going to Pinellas Hope was not seeing the homeless and the conditions they live in. It was not seeing the teens serve breakfast to the homeless. What was most moving to me was watching the teens, after serving breakfast, sit down with them and interact with the homeless. This is way outside the comfort zones of many teens. Heck....its outside my comfort zone. It was truly a moving experience because I firmly believe that you cannot solve the issues of poverty and homelessness if you keep them at arms length by writing a check or dropping food off at a food bank. (Yes, these things are necessary, but to truly break the cycle of poverty in someone's life people to get closer, to interact, to help heal some of the issues that are at the root of poverty.)

All of this brings me to the topic of this post and the last of the 7 Deadly Sins--Greed. How much did you spend this past weekend? $50? $100? $500? $1000 or more? I work part-time for a television and internet retailer answering phones and placing orders for customers. I had quite a few customers drop $500 and even $1000 on one transaction with me, and who knows how much they spent elsewhere.

What is greed? Is having wealth considered greedy? No. There is nothing wrong with having wealth. There is nothing wrong with making lots of money. God gives each of us gifts.One gift that God gives certain people is the gift of wealth. However, as in all the gifts that God gives us, He asks that we use those gifts to give Him greater glory.

Am I saying that if you spent a small fortune over the weekend that you are greedy? Certainly not, although you may be. Greed is when we take the gifts that God gives us and use them solely for our own benefit. Greed occurs when we make money, and the pursuit of it, the primary focus in our lives--when we make money and possessions our god.

So, what are we to do? Many of us have been given many blessings, financial and otherwise. I may not make much money (I have two jobs and still barely pay the bills), but I have been blessed financially because I can pay the bills. I have a roof over my head and 3 meals every day. I am in a much better financial position than those who are homeless. The first thing we need to do is be grateful for what we have. Above that, we need to be like the poor widow from Luke 21: "When he looked up he saw some wealthy people putting their offerings into the treasury and he noticed a poor widow putting in two small coins. He said, 'I tell you truly, this poor widow put in more than all the rest; for those others have made offerings from their surplus wealth, but she, from her poverty, had offered her whole livelihood." (Luke 21:1-4)

We...I....need to be like the poor widow. I'm not like her. I may not be wealthy by the standards of the U.S., but I am wealthy by the standards of the world. There are those that are less fortunate than me in third world countries, and even in my own back yard. I give only from my surplus. I need to offer my whole livelihood. I need to give until it hurts. I need to give what I can financially, and then go out "into the fields" and help those in need. I need, we all need, to be instruments of Christ to those in need--to help them out of poverty, out of pain, out of suffering, not from a distance keeping them at arms length, but face to face as the 140 teens from the Diocese of St. Petersburg did two weekends ago.

Lust

2010-11-16T12:51:00.000-05:00

Everywhere you look our culture is telling us....IS SCREAMING AT US....that sex is good and that there is nothing wrong with having sex whenever, wherever, and however we want to. In fact, our culture ENCOURAGES us to have sex whenever, wherever, and however we want to.

Everywhere you go, you see sex. You see it on the billboards as you drive down the road. You see it in the magazines in the stores, and I'm not talking about Playboy. You see talk about sex in Maxim and Cosmopolitan. You even see articles about sex in Seventeen (not that I read it!). You see it all over the internet. You see it on T.V. shows like "Sex in the City" and "Desperate Housewives". Sex is also front and center in many of the supposed "family friendly" programming that is out there. Sex is in our music and in the books we read. It's even in our schools with their sex education programs that highlight "protection" over abstinence. Sex is everywhere.

No wonder our culture struggles so much with the deadly sin of lust. When I introduced the topic of the seven deadly sins to my high school youth group and I listed the sins for them one of the responses I got was: "Lust is a sin?" This is a sad statement about the culture we live in. Lust dominates our culture so much that we can no longer recognize it as sinful.

So, then, what is lust? Lust is the disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. It is sexual desire apart from God's love--a selfish desire to seek one's own pleasure at the expense of another. Lust is making the desire for sexual satisfaction your god, putting that desire ahead of everything else in your life.

Let's face it. We all have sexual desires. There is nothing wrong with that. In fact, our sexual desires are good. God created us. He also created in us sexual desires. But he created those desires for a specific purpose. There is a natural order to all things in life, including our sexuality.

The church teaches that sex needs to be reserved for marriage between a man and a woman for a reason. The Church is not imposing some arbitrary rule on Catholics. Look at these statistics:

Every day, 8,000 teenagers in the U.S. become infected by sexually transmitted diseases. This year, nearly 3 million teens will become infected.
Overall, roughly, 1/4 of all the nations sexually active teens have been infected by a sexually transmitted disease.
Men and women who are sexually active before marriage are more likely to get divorced.
Teenage girls and boys who are sexually active are less likely to be happy and more likely to feel depressed.
Teenage girls and boys who are sexually active are more likely to attempt suicide.

(Note: I focused mainly on teenagers when researching my statistics, as that was my primary audience when leading the meeting. I imagine that when taking the population as a whole the statistics will reinforce my point).

I could cite more statistics about sex outside of marriage and its consequences. Sex outside of marriage is lust...plain and simple. It is indulging in your sexual desires outside of God's love--outside of God's plan for our sexuality. As you can see from the statistics, sex outside of marriage leads to pain. It leads to suffering. The Church is not just trying to push a prudish agenda. The facts support the Church's teaching.

So, what can we do? It's not like we can snap our fingers and change the culture. What we can do is change ourselves. We can live a life of modesty, as immodesty leads to lust. Both females and males play a role in being more modest, but in different ways.

Females (both teens and adults) tend to be immodest in their dress. Girls--think about it--you could be leading guys into sin by the way you dress. If you dress immodestly, you need to think about why you do so. It is possible that you dress immodestly because you like the attention you are receiving from the guys when you do so--that you feel loved by the attention you get. Maybe you don't. Maybe you dress immodestly just because it is the norm of our culture. Maybe you have never thought about how you dress. Maybe you never considered that you may be dressing immodestly. Maybe you just want to keep up with the latest fashion trends. But just because it is the norm of our culture, it doesn't make it right. To be Christian--and particularly to be Catholic--we oftentimes have to be counter-cultural.

If you girls want guys to respect you for who you are, you need to respect yourself first. You need to have the self-confidence that you can win a guy's heart with who you are as a person--mind, body, and soul--not just by the way you look. Dressing modestly tells guys that you are not an object to be lusted after. Dressing modestly demands that guys respect you for who you are.

Guys, I'm not letting you off the hook on this one. Guys can be immodest as well. Males are not so immodest in their dress, although they can be. Guys are typically more immodest in their words than they are in their dress. Guys who are immodest in their speech use abusive, sexually charged language when they are with other guys. Just walk into a male locker room, and you will hear the immodesty. They talk about the physical features of girls and what they want to do with and to them. This creates a situation of lust. Not only does the guy speaking these words start to lust after girls, but the guys hearing these words begin to lust as well.

Guys are also immodest in their words in the way they speak to girls. Guys who tell girls things they want to hear--that they are pretty, that they love them, etc.--just to take advantage of them sexually are not only being immodest in their speech, but they are also emotionally manipulating girls.

So, what are we to do? First of all, seek the Truth in all things. Understand that first of all, sex is good. Also, don't believe the lies of our culture. Our culture will tell you that having sex anywhere, anyway, and with anyone will fulfill you. Our culture tells you that lust is not a sin. Our culture is lying to you. Lust is a sin, and the pursuit of fulfilling lustful desires will not fulfill you. It will leave you wanting for more. It will leave you empty. Be bold. Be different. Dress modestly. Speak modestly. Act modestly.

Sloth

2010-11-09T15:10:00.000-05:00

I've been meaning to write this post on the next deadly sin for a while....but I've been too lazy to do it. Seriously, I'm lazy. Sloth is probably the deadly sin that I struggle with the most. I like my comfort zones, and when I'm within them, I want to stay there. I don't want to be challenged. I don't want to have to work hard. I want to just ask the question, "What is the least I can do and survive?" Sometimes I'm so lazy that I want to go out and buy products like this...

So, what is this sin of sloth, and what is so wrong with it? Laziness comes in two forms. First of all, laziness is not wanting to do anything...just sitting around like a lump all day, doing nothing. The second form of laziness is doing what you want to do instead of doing what you should do.

Why is laziness a sin? It is a sin on a number of different levels. First of all, God has given us specific gifts and talents. He wants us to work hard and to put to use those gifts and talents. Laziness prevents us from using those gifts.

God also wants us to help others. He wants us to get outside of our comfort zones and feed the hungry, clothe the naked, shelter the homeless. He wants us to reach out to those who are suffering physically and emotionally. Laziness prevents us from doing this.

Finally, God wants us to pray, to grow spiritually. But many of us don't. We don't take the time each day to thank God for the gifts He has given us. We don't ask Him for guidance in our lives. Spiritual laziness, this spiritual indifference, I believe, is the root cause for laziness in all other aspects in our lives. It festers and grows and permeates our whole being. Without a disciplined spiritual life, we cannot know God's will for our lives. We have no direction without prayer. Without any direction, without knowing what God wants us to do, then we all have a tendency to do nothing, and that breeds laziness.

I've seen this in my own life. When I set goals for me in my life, when I try to be disciplined in my spiritual life, I tend to be more disciplined in my work life and in my family life. However, my life is like a yo-yo. I can go weeks, even months at a time where I am spiritually disciplined. Life is good during those times. I get a lot more accomplished at work, I get a lot more accomplished at home. I am, overall, a happier person.

The problem, however, is that I can never get that discipline to last. Eventually, my natural inclination to laziness begins to set in. And once it takes over, I'm dead. I'm unfocused at work and at home. I lose my sense of purpose in life. I lose my passion, my ambition.

My whole life, our whole lives, hinge on our spiritual lives. If we have no passion our faith, if we have no discipline, no zeal for our spiritual lives, then we will have no discipline or zeal in other areas of our lives either.

So, what is the antidote? Diligence. If you struggle with laziness like I do, be diligent! Realize that the only way you can overcome your struggle with laziness is to be focused and disciplined in your spiritual life.

In the bible, no one interacts with God without being given a mission---without being sent out into the world with a job to do. We have all been made with a definite purpose, a goal that God has created for us. Only you can carry out the goal God has created for you. Discern your mission. Pray. Ask God what you can do for Him. Read the scriptures. Go to Mass. There are 168 hours in a week. If you can't give God 1 hour to go to Mass, then you will never overcome laziness.

The Uninvited Guest

2010-11-03T18:13:00.000-04:00

What would you do if a complete stranger came up to you and invited himself to dinner at your house? How would you react? I know that my reaction would not be a favorable one. First of all, I would respond with something like...."What? Are you nuts? You can't come to my house! Go away!" If he continued to push the issue with me I would continue to say no, citing that my house isn't ready to receive guests....that there are dirty dishes in the sink, the kids toys are strewn all over the house. I just can't invite someone into a dirty house.

Yet, that is just what Jesus did with Zacchaeus. Jesus saw Zacchaeus sitting up in the tree, told him to come down from the tree, and then proceeded to invite himself over to Zacchaeus' house for dinner.(Luke 19:1-10). Zacchaeus, however, did not react the way I would have if someone invited himself to my house. Zacchaeus "came down and quickly received him with joy". Not only did Zacchaeus not have an adverse reaction to Jesus' invitation, but Zacchaeus received Jesus with joy.

Jesus is inviting Himself into my life--into all of our lives. Yes, oftentimes He comes as an uninvited guest. How often do I outright reject Jesus' invitation? How often do I say that Jesus' invitation is just plain crazy and send Him away? How often do I make excuses, saying that I am a sinner and unworthy of his welcome? Yet, there He is, inviting Himself into my life every day. I wake up each morning with Jesus calling to me, inviting Himself into my life. Oftentimes I just ignore Him. Sometimes I tell Him to go away or say that my life is too messy.

On those occasions that I do allow Jesus into my life, that I do accept His invitation to enter in, I receive graces and blessings beyond all that I can imagine. It makes me wonder why I don't invite Him in more often.

Jesus, today, I invite you into my life. My life is dirty. It's filthy, really. And yet, despite my shortcomings, despite my sin, I invite you in. Come Lord, into my life, for you have "come to seek and save the lost."

Gluttony

2010-10-19T13:25:00.000-04:00

Gluttony is the immoderate, unreasonable pleasure in food and drink, and it is a sin. The Catholic Church is not Puritanistic in saying that we cannot enjoy food and drink. There is nothing wrong with taking pleasure in eating and drinking. However, when making the desire for food and drink the center of your life, then you cross into gluttony.

Gluttony is not just a sin that only overweight people commit. We all have the ability to be gluttonous. If you were to look at me, your first thought would not be that I'm gluttonous. I'm tall and skinny. I certainly don't look like I over-eat. However, I do have a tendency to be gluttonous at times. I've just been blessed with a high metabolism. My gluttony manifests itself through my sweet tooth. When I start eating sweets, I oftentimes find that I cannot stop. I just want to keep eating more.

Do you eat to make yourself feel better? I'm not talking about relieving physical hunger pangs. Do you eat to feel happy? If you eat or drink to make yourself feel better then you may be committing the sin of gluttony.

We all have a desire for happiness. Gluttony is seeking that happiness in food and drink. The problem we run into when we seek food and drink to satisfy our happiness is that, although we may satisfy that emotional need temporarily, it does not make us truly happy. So, we eat and drink more. And we eventually become addicted to food and drink. We need it to make ourselves feel better--to make us feel happy.

What's the antidote for gluttony? What's the opposite virtue? Temperance. Temperance is moderation, self-restraint. Discipline is a very important aspect of obtaining happiness. We need to have discipline over our desire to eat and drink. We need to understand that over-indulging in food and drink has a negative impact on our bodies and our souls. We need to make God the center of our lives instead of food and drink.

Defining Moment

2010-10-18T14:34:00.000-04:00

I have had many defining moments in my life. It’s hard to pick just one. My marriage was certainly a defining moment. The birth of my first child was also a defining moment. But I think that one of the most significant defining moments in my life was my decision to leave the seminary because it impacted the other defining moments in my life.

Entering the seminary, for me, was not a defining moment. It just seemed like the next logical step for me in my life. Discerning to leave the seminary was extremely difficult for me. I was afraid that I was going to disappoint my parents. I was afraid I was going to disappoint my classmates and the seminary directors. I was afraid I was going to disappoint God.

In the end, I saw that God was calling me to leave the seminary. It was a defining moment because it laid the ground work for the rest of my life. It was also a defining moment because, for the first time in my life, I realized that I could actually hear the voice of God speaking to me. Not an audible voice coming down from heaven, but a whisper in the silence of my heart.

I think it is important for all of us to recognize the defining moments in our lives, for it is in those defining moments that we all can see the work of God in our lives. God was at work in my life. I was unable to see it then, but because of my decision to leave the seminary I now have a wonderful wife and 5 beautiful children. Because of that defining moment, I now have a deeper relationship with our Lord, a more personal relationship.

What are the defining moments in your life? Discover them, and you will discover God.

Things to reflect on....

2010-10-07T16:20:00.001-04:00

I am in the midst of the formal discernment process for the permanent diaconate in the Diocese of St. Petersburg, Fl. The process here in my diocese consists of 6 bi-weekly meetings to help us men discern God's will for us. I've attended two meetings thus far, and am looking forward to the rest of the meetings. We've been given "homework". After the first meeting, we were all asked to reflect on the following questions:

What is spirituality?
How do you personally define discernment?
Give an example of a defining moment and why it was a defining moment.

All three questions are relevant not only to us men discerning the permanent diaconate, but to all of us. So, being the blog addict that I am, I will write about all three of these questions for all of cyberspace to see. The first question, "What is spirituality?" will appear on Catholic Dads as a part of my regular weekly series on A Father's Faith. You can check it out here.

I want to take a moment to reflect on the second question now: How do you personally define discernment?

Discernment is a process. It is not so much a process of decision making as it is a process of understanding. That process, that search for understanding, involves input from those directly involved in the thing being discerned (i.e. family and friends), from God through prayer, and, in the case of life's vocation (priesthood, diaconate, and marriage), it requires input from the Church.

There are many competing voices that we must contend with in the discernment process. Take, for example, the process of getting engaged and married. When a couple discerns marriage they will get advice and comments from others about that discernment. Whether it be for good or bad, everyone will give the newly engaged couple advice and their opinion on just about everything. In discerning whether or not you are with the person you want to spend the rest of your life with, you have to sort through all of those external voices from others and take into consideration the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to getting married.

The second voice we must contend with in the discernment process is that internal voice. This is the voice of doubt, the voice of joy, the voice of confidence, the voice of fear, and the many other voices we hear within our heads. Some of those voices are good, they are from God. Other voices are the voices of the evil one trying to get us to make the wrong decision in the thing that we are discerning. We need to pray about and sort through these voices to truly find where God is guiding us.

The third voice of discernment is the voice of the Church. This voice is particularly apparent in vocations to the priesthood, diaconate, and religious life because those vocations are connected directly to the Church. Not as apparent, but still present, is the voice of the Church in discerning the vocation to marriage. The Church should play a role in helping an engaged couple discern their marriage through the sacramental preparation process that they go through. Regardless of your life's vocation, the Church has an important role to play. We must listen to the wisdom and guidance of the Church in discerning our life's vocation.

At the center of all of this discernment process there should be prayer. We need to take the advice of others, the competing voices in our heads, and the guidance of the Church to prayer. We must be willing quiet our minds and to all the other voices and to listen to the will of God.

God calls each of us to a vocation. Discernment is the process that we must go through to understand what God is calling us to. In order to properly discern God's vocation we must be willing to seek the input of our family and friends, of the Church, and of God Himself though our spiritual life. God has a plan for us. We need to go through this discernment process to understand God's plan.

I will write later about the third question.

Anger

2010-09-30T14:45:00.000-04:00

Have you ever been angry? Of course! All of us have been angry about something at some point in our lives. Why were you angry? What did you do with that anger? Do you think you were justified in your anger? Let's face it, all of us get angry. Even Jesus got angry:

Since the Passover of the Jews was near, Jesus went up to Jerusalem. He found in the temple area those who sold oxen, sheep, and doves, as well as the money-changers seated there. He made a whip out of cords and drove them all out of the temple area, with the sheep and oxen, and spilled the coins of the money-changers and overturned their tables, and to those who sold doves he said, "Take these out of here, and stop making my Father's house a marketplace."

So, is anger ever justified? Yes, in certain situations it is. Jesus was certainly justified in his anger over merchants setting up shop in the temple area. It is entirely appropriate to get angry over injustices that are done to us and others.

However, there is another kind of anger. This anger is the unreasonable desire for vengeance. We've all been hurt, annoyed, or in some other way upset by other people. We've all felt the need to get back at the person who hurt us. Anger builds up pressure within us. It clouds our perspective. It just keeps building and building until it finally explodes like a balloon. Anger has a tendency to get the best of us.

People who know me (at least, people outside my immediate family) would think that I don't struggle much with anger. I'm generally calm, quiet, and level-headed in my interactions with others. But I do struggle with anger. I see my anger manifesting itself in two different ways.

The first is through my lack of patience. My kids get the brunt of this anger most of the time. They're loud, they bicker with each other, they don't do what I tell them to do. They create messes in the house. I have a very short fuse for them acting like....well....acting like kids. So, I snap. I yell at them and punish them for being kids. My anger here is certainly not justified and I need to learn greater patience.

The second manifestation of my anger is through people criticizing me, taking advantage of me, or hurting me in any way. I had a co-worker a number of years back at a different job who took advantage of me on a regular basis. She was manipulative, self-centered, and basically stole income from me many times. (The job was a commissioned based sales job, and we were supposed to be supporting each other in sales, not competing with each other.) Needless to say, this made me very angry. And on a few occasions I blew up at her, screaming and yelling at her in the middle of the office. Thankfully, I had enough resolve to not blow up at her in the presence of clients.

So, was my anger in either of these situations justified? In the first situation, with my kids, certainly not. My lack of patience is never justification for losing my temper with the kids. The second situation, however, is a bit more fuzzy. Stealing income from me could certainly be grounds for justified anger, but was it really justified, and if so, did I handle it appropriately? If it was justified, then I certainly did not handle it appropriately. I let my anger get the best of me. The situation could have been handled by better means.

To be honest, I don't think my anger at my co-worker was justified. Was she hurting me, or others, by doing what she did? Sure, she took a bit of income from me, but really, not enough to pose a threat to supporting my family. She was hurting herself far more than she was hurting me. She was damaging her relationship with me and the other office employees through her actions. To be honest, my anger was hurting myself more than she was hurting me. I let my anger control me and cloud my vision.

Does that mean that I should have continue to let her walk all over me? Certainly not. I could have handled the issues I had with her much more diplomatically. I could have spoken to her out of love and told her patiently that I did not want to be taken advantage of. If that didn't work, I could have documented what she did and how I tried to resolve it and then escalated it up the chain of command. Doing that would have been far more effective than screaming and yelling at her.

So, what's the antidote to anger? I already mentioned one--patience. We need to be patient with people and realize that they are not perfect. We expect people to be patient with us. We should do the same for others.

Forgiveness is the second antidote for anger. We need to be willing to forgive those that hurt us. one of the most difficult things to do is to face someone who hurt you and tell them that you forgive them. Yet it is the best way to release the pressure that the anger is building up inside of us.

Nikki and Babs DVD Giveaway!

2010-09-28T13:52:00.000-04:00

Wow! I looked at my blog today and noticed it has been nearly a month since my last post. My life this past month has been super busy. I've started a new youth ministry year, had family and other work commitments and started writing a weekly article for Catholic Dads titled A Father's Faith. I just have not had time to spend on my own blog.

One thing that has taken up a bit of my time is that I have written a Bible Study Guide for the Nikki & Babs: Do's and Doubts DVD series put together by Sonlight Pictures. You may remember that I reviewed the DVD in a previous blog post. You can read all about it here. The Bible Study Guide is geared specifically for middle school youth but it can be adapted for high schoolers or even a family bible study. It is free and you can download a copy of the bible study from the Sonlight Pictures website.

To launch this new Bible Study, I am giving away a free copy of the Nikki & Bab's DVD. All you have to do is e-mail me at timdburke74@verizon.net. I will choose a winner randomly from the entries I receive.

Want to increase your chances of winning? You can receive an additional entry if you tweet this post and/or write a post on your own blog and link to mine. Let me know in the comments if you do this with a link to the tweet or blog post.

The contest will close on October 15 and the winner will be announced here on this blog shortly thereafter.

Quote of the Day

2010-09-10T15:10:00.000-04:00

God does not demand that I be successful. God demands that I be faithful. ~Mother Theresa

I think that says it all.