Military Spouse Press - Front Page

Is anybody out there?

untiltheyallcomehome — Fri, 16 Oct 2009 16:56:55 GMT

Wow, life has just gotten away from me these last few months. I cannot believe that summer has come and gone and the fall chill has arrived since I thought I would be able to take this blog over and make it into something great.
I'm not doing so good at this right now.
We're getting traffic. I get the numbers emailed to me once a week so I know that people are checking in to see if anything new has come up. I wish there was more here for people to read and I want to make it better. But truth of the matter is, I'm struggling with this and I need some help.
If you have something to say, come here and say it. It would be easier to have a direction to move in if I had more people to write.

Oh, how long it has been.

JenniferLebron — Tue, 18 Aug 2009 09:14:53 GMT

Hello MilSpouses.

It has been a while. I don't know why but today I went to the URL bar and typed in MilSpousePress.com, probably out of curiosity, or necessity even. I hvaen't written since right before my husband came home LAST YEAR!!

It probably would have done me some good to stay connected, but it was an interesting journey.
My husband was deployed in OEF VIII to Afghanistan for 14 months. It was hell for them. We're the smallest company in the battalion and they were isolated in the mountains--no, inbetween the mountains and had to deal with attacks every day. So on his part--he had to deal with a lot.

Then he came home.

And then I had to deal with it.
Gosh, I don't even know where to start. It was rough. Because I was writing for MilSpousePress all deployment, and reading all these articles that opened up the door to something that was SO FOREIGN to me... I was expecting something--and I thought I was prepared.

But I wasn't.

I was sensitive for a while.
Then I got fed up. Impatient.

M husband was drinking all the time. And even when he was hunched over the toilet--he called me into the bathroom to tell me "This is only temporary." We knew we had issues to deal with, but I guess we didn't understand how? We were kind of just hoping that time would heal all.

Anyway, then "the" night.
He was pretty drunk and I was annoyed. And frustrated. And tired of always standing by to watch him do it to himself all oaver again. At this point in time I don't remember the details too much--because I've really tried not to think about it. But that was "the" night that I was like, "Oh yeah, we've got real issues."

At one point in time he was stradling me, hands around my throat and said, "You don't know anything about me, stop trying to act like you know me. You don't know what it's like."

This came out of NOWHERE.
He didn't remember a thing the day after.
That was the day he poured out all the alcohol down the drain and made his appointment for the psychiatrist on post.

Since then?
Things are better now. There are times when I catch him talking in his sleep, or something. He get's angry when we watch military themed movies, or listen to AFN commericals talk about suicide and PTSD. We stopped going to the psychiatrist because of his training schedule (and--my reason is that, I felt like she was very unprofessional!! She asked him about his dreams then LAUGHED AT HIM and said "That is nothing compared to some of the other things I've heard.")

That is a whole other story.

But. I guess my reason for writing was to say: It gets better. Maybe not easier. But better? Does that make any sense?

Our unit is getting ready for their next deployment and all these feelings and fears are coming back, but it feels different this time around.

Well, I feel like I have a head full of thoughts now. Once I get them more focused, I will be back. :) Ciao friends.

For the Love of Military Furniture and Other Benefits

Scout'sWife — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 20:39:16 GMT

I never thought that I would find myself wishing for military furniture. This is something that is only available to you overseas, and something that most of us hate. Every bit of it is uncomfortable, from the couch, to the armchairs, to the beds.

However, as bad as it can be, I must be grateful. It sure beats sleeping on an air mattress and eating off the floor. In fact, I consider it a privilage for the military to provide me with not only the furniture, but the housing that I need. There are very few jobs in the country that provide us with that luxury, free of cost.
This summer I have had too many wives complaining to me about how the Army doesn't take care of them. One spouse I know, was upset because the base that they were going to wasn't going to have housing available to them. Not only that, but the amount of BAH they were going to receive wouldn't cover any of the four bedroom homes that they would need to house their large family. She couldn't understand how the Army would make her homeless. I tried to explain to her that she is afforded many opportunities because her husband is enlisted, that she would never have otherwise.

For Example

Housing on-post if available, BAH if its not: no other job pays you extra for your home.

BAS: they pay you money to feed your soldier

FREE! Health Care: Do these wives have no idea how much health insurance costs, even if your job doesn't cover part of it, it can still run a couple hundred dollars a month for a family.

FREE use of facilities: Go and look at any local gym and see what they charge to use it. You can work-out on high-tech equipment without paying!

Help for your career: There are so many ways that a military spouse can start or finish their college degree. Plus, there are multiple places that you can volunteer and put it on your resume.

I know that I am missing a lot of benefits here, but I just want some of the wives to understand how good they really have it. My husband just returned from a 14 month deployment, missed over half of his daughter's life, and the birth of his son. Yet I would not wish him to change his job for anything. Especially in this economy. If it weren't for the military we would be pinching pennies and wondering if we were going to have jobs tomorrow, just like the rest of America.

So take it in perspective ladies. Some things suck about this lifestyle, but you have to make sacrifices to get anything in life.

Tomorrow is another day.

Be careful what you wish for!!

untiltheyallcomehome — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 09:15:39 GMT

I've been kind of whiny the last few years. Often asking my husband "What about ME? When am I going to get MY turn?" and every now and again kind of breaking down and wishing for adult interaction, or for my kids to stop asking me to entertain them every three and a half seconds.
NOW, I'm still trying to figure out a plan of action for this site and getting the thousands of spouses out there to join us in getting this site going and I've also recently enrolled in a paralegal certification course. I may also have a job possibility in the near future.
The last thing I am is BORED!! I actually have overdue library books that I have yet to touch because of the circles I've been running in, making lists and notes, scouring the internet for information on different things- all of this while trying to make sure my girls aren't totally neglected during summer break.
The process has been slow to get word of mouth out about us here at Military Spouse Press. Tell your friends. Have them tell their friends. Do you have a weekly blog you'd like to contribute? That would be great!!!

How can the movers be so stupid?

Scout'sWife — Sat, 01 Aug 2009 08:05:14 GMT

Well, moving day has come and gone, but boy was it a doosy. The day tarted out badly as my husband and I put the kids in their car seats. My cell phone rings letting me know that the movers need to be signed in at the front gate. So I drive to the gate and wait for 20 minutes. My husband calls to tell me that the truck has arrived at our apartment. Ok...why was I waiting? Oh well, I'll take the kids to daycare.
Halfway to daycare I get another phone call. The truck only brought some of the movers. The other movers are still waiting to be signed in at the Chicago gate (the gate for big trucks, across post from the main gate, where they had told me to go the first time). Now I'm getting a little pissed off. I turn around, go to the other gate, and find the movers. Then we stand there, for 20 minutes, in the cold, with both kids. All this to sign two strange men on post.

Once that was done, I finally went to put my kids put into daycare. At this point they are an hour late, which I still have to pay for, and they've missed breakfast. I'm just hoping that the day will get better.

After dropping off the kids I stop for some much needed coffee and then head back to the house. I get there to discover that there is only one mover packing us up. Wait, didn't I sign two guys in? Where are they? They are my responsibility until they get off post and they didn't even come to my house. I had to call the Transportation office and report the moving company. The day isn't really getting any better.

The other two movers are finally found at another job and rejoin their friend at about 1300. They tell us that they will be done packing in one day which is really nice. My husband goes and signs the moving truck on post around 1400. I pick the kids up at 1700, we do dinner, try to occupy the kids. It gets later, and later, and later.

At 2100 they are finally moving all the furniture and boxes out of the apartment. The problem with that is they ran out of room in the first truck at 2030. Had to get a new truck. So all of our possessions are sitting in front of the building, waiting. Waiting, waiting, waiting. Thank goodness it wasn't raining, because all of our stuff would be ruined.

The truck finally shows up at 2230 and they load it. Little did I know that when they told me the packing would be done in one day, that they would be there until 2300 at night. Plus my husband still has to sign the truck out. He finally gets home around midnight, after going to almost every gate on post and waiting on the movers.

With all the problems that we had with the movers I have to admit that they packed our stuff well. Everything was wrapped nicely and seems to be secure. They even wrapped every piece of furniture in cardboard so that it was protected. I just hope that everything makes it to Ft. Knox safe and sound.

Tomorrow is another day.

The joy of moving with kids

Scout'sWife — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 21:17:34 GMT

Uggghhhh.....I hate moving. I've spent the last three days trying to get everything ready for the packers. I still have tomorrow to pack, but I'm really starting to stress. It wasn't this hard the last time we moved. We didn't have kids. All we had to worry about was making sure that we had our suitcases packed, and a few dishes and towels.
Now I have to worry about what toys to take on the plane, and what toys to leave out to make it through the next three weeks without our household goods. Plus, all the other stuff that goes along with traveling with kids: the diapers, the wipes, the potty chair. Then I have to make sure I have medicine for anything that might happen: Tylenol, Benedryl, teething tablets, and the all important Epi-Pen (thanks to Savannah's dreaded peanut allergy). Which reminds me that I need to make sure I set aside her allergy alert bracelet. Great, now I wonder what else I'm forgetting. I guess I should put a notebook by my bed tonight so I can write down anything that I remember. Lord knows that I'll forget it all by morning again. I'll remember that I needed to pack something, but won't remember what it is.
What makes it all worse is that I know I am going to have to live through the weekend with absolutely no furniture. Thankfully, we have an air mattress to sleep on, and Dylan has the pack and play, but we have nothing for Savannah. Our poor little princess has no bed, no mattress, no nothing. Trying to find someone that has an air mattress for her, but its not looking good.
Oh man, oh man, just writing this is making me stress more. It's too late for me to do yoga, so I guess my magazine reading is going to have to be enough for me tonight. I don't want to even think about tomorrow anymore. I'll handle it, I always do. Isn't that the job of an Army wife? To make sure that her soldier's home runs smoothly.
Tomorrow is another day.

The USO is one of our greatest privileges

untiltheyallcomehome — Thu, 02 Jul 2009 16:26:01 GMT

My "Space A" adventure turned into buying commercial plane tickets home when I failed to make a few flights back to Europe because there were too many people and not enough seats. So here I am, in the Charlotte airport, upstairs in the terminal at their USO.
It's very nice here. I'm relaxing in a rocking chair while my kids play with left-behind toys and watch a movie. I checked in for my flight 3 hours before it was scheduled to leave because I had to have my rental car back by 10 AM, so as I was standing in line at Pizza Hut, getting ready to drop about $30 on a meal, when this older gentlemen standing next to me noticed the ID card in my hand and said "We have food upstairs, as well as Internet, TV and COFFEE!" All I heard was coffee, really. Everything else was mumbo-jumbo. I have been up since 5 AM and it took us about 3 hours to drive from my dad's house to the airport.
Everyone in this USO is friendly. Every worker has stopped by to say that if there is a book or stuffed animal that my girls like, they are welcome to take them home with them. Now, the last thing they need is another animal (I actually had to argue my way out of 5 different stuffed animals before they settled on the smallest one they had acquired while in the states.) But still- I have to say, I've been in a few different USO's around the United States and they have all been just wonderful. THey seem to love their jobs and all they want to do is make sure you're comfortable while in their place.

not even in the military yet hating the chain of command

jenv — Wed, 24 Jun 2009 23:56:29 GMT

As some of you have read my husband is active duty even though the chain of command does nothing to me directly they kind of do when they do mean things to my husband. 4th brigade has terrible leadership. The sgt.major and the rest of the command do not like my husband at all they try to keep him in trouble any way they can they find the most rediculous things to get at him it is coming to the point of rediculous now he has not been able to take leave for a year and they are still denying him the opportunity to take leave and they dont say no in a civil way either. It makes me sad to know how much i hate the army at this point for all the things they do to my husband and for all the mental problems he has from being in the army and they take absolutely no respondsiblity for any of it sorry just had to vent

The Space A Adventure

untiltheyallcomehome — Fri, 26 Jun 2009 22:50:44 GMT

I got handed the reigns to this website just in time to begin my journey back across the seas to Germany, where my husband has been lovingly taking care of our apartment and our furry children while I got to eat at Arby's and go on vacation! YEAH RIGHT!! Not about taking over the site, but about my husband enjoying being left alone for the last month.
Space A is a privilege, Space A is a privilege- not a RIGHT, so I have to remember that when I get frustrated about traveling by myself without my sponsor which makes me a Category 5. This summer is going to be the busiest travel season yet on the Space A airwaves some people are saying. I imagine with the faltering economy and high gas prices, many people are flocking to Baltimore and Dover and McGuire in the hopes of catching a free ride overseas.
Unfortunately for me, this is making my life harder. I'm not angry or anything, just FRUSTRATED. Did I mention that I've got 2 little girls who are on the verge of being auctioned off for their lovely behavior amidst my crisis of not being able to get on a flight back to Germany??
It's just a busy summer and if I don't leave soon, I may pull my hair out. So if you hear about a bald lady trying to sell her kids at the airport, know that it was probably me :)

And the Red Tape & Bureaucracy Go On & On!!!

madmaggie — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 04:20:41 GMT

Some of you have read my story. Well, actually it is my spouse's story. But it gets worse. Bought a brand new car about 4 weeks ago. Great, Yes? No I'm afraid. About 5 days later, my ex-marine took a Grand Mal seizure on our living room floor. Had him rushed to VA. They dismissed the episode & said I was not a viable witness for a seizure. Same story I got 4 years ago. He was released from ER after about 8 hrs to my care even though everyone with an ounce of mentality could tell the man was not in his rightful mind. He went into a manic like state for 2 days, before he decided to take the car...against my wishes. But, he got belligerent with me & left. He called me at 8:30 pm & said he was on his way home...a ride which should have taken 10 minutes. I fell asleep on the floor waiting for him. The next morning,I called the police and filed a missing person's report. He was found in a town about 2 hours from our house, only because he almost caused an accident. He was taken to ER in a hospital in that area. I called VA to try to get him 302'ed for his own safety & safety of others on the road. VA referred me to The County Mental Health who denied my request saying he was not harmful to himself or others. WTF?
Driving a vehicle in his state of mind was not harmful? The hospital said they could not keep him because he was an adult. So they released him back to our car. I finally got another call at around 4:30 in the morning (about 10 hrs after his release). He had wrecked the car. Fortunately, no one else was involved. He was taken to another hospital after the State police cited him for ignoring lanes on the road. Apparently he lost control of the car crossed the road & hit a guard rail befor sliding 80 feet. Since the medical people finally realized that he was lost in his mind, they talked him into signing himself in for 3 days. The VA was contacted, but had no bed available. He had a hearing & the stay was extended to 20 days. Finally a bed opened up and the VA accepted him. Now he is confined there for up to 90 days. At this point, I am bombarded with amubulance bills, hospital bills, & various doctor bills. Car insurance will handle some of it, but not all. The car had almost 10k in damage, but according to the insurance company could not be totaled unless the damage was 13k. So here I am 3 hrs from my wrecked automobile, being plummeted by bills & spouse is in the psyche unit at the VA. He is lost. His mind goes off on tangents. I can't talk to him about anything relevant. I spoke to VA & told them that after 10 years of caring for him, I cannot do it anymore. He is at a point where I cannot control him. Don't know what good that will do though. I mean, I am not even a viable witness for a grand Mal seizure despite the fact I have a medical background. I don't know what to do or who to turn to at this point. If he is released to our home, I can not take care of him anymore. Believe me, I have been a nurse, financier, & everything but a real wife to him for 10 years now. If these people would have listened to me alot of this could have been avoided. This is like banging your head against a brick wall and the Appeals Court in Washington, DC just turned down his unemployability. But, I do have an attorney working on that, at least. So this is our wonderful VA system & payback for our soldiers serving their country. Been fighting red tape & bureacracy for 10 years. I'm at the point where I don't have much fight left. I'm menatlly exhausted, but can't do it anymore. Maybe, I am being self-centered or selfish in many of your eyes. But, a decade feels like a lifetime. This government & the VA has robbed us both of 10 years that we will never get back!!!!!

You've got a voice. Please share it with us.

untiltheyallcomehome — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 12:05:54 GMT

I'm looking to recruit new members. I am looking for new bloggers who want to write monthly, weekly, or even bi-weekly blogs. Being a military spouse is time consuming, but we also have a wealth of information that we can pull out of our everyday lives to help other people.
Remember when you were a brand-new Army, Air Force, Navy or Marine wife (or husband- I don't want to exclude ANYONE!!!) and you were sitting there going "What does LES mean?" or "How am I supposed to know where the ACS building at Fort Hood is?" This happens on a daily basis in all military communities. You might think that you have nothing to say, but at the same time I know you have a thousand things to say.
Deployments. Moves. Marital issues. Kid issues. Pet issues. Dealing with reunions and R and R's. Everyone has questions. I want us to start to offer some answers, or just experiences.
I'm also open to the idea of having someone come on who offers tips on food shopping, or new recipes, or a cleaning product you want to talk about. We are WIVES and HUSBANDS and whether you have a full time job or you're a stay-at home parent, you DO have a voice. And we want to hear it.
I'm new to this. Not to the milspouse life, but to trying to build a solid foundation of information that I would like to see change on a daily basis. Let me know what you want to see happen here and I'll do my best to get it on here.
If you have an active duty spouse or retired one even- I want to invite them to join as well. We can get a firsthand look at the OTHER side, the side that earned us our job titles in the first place. You don't have to BE a writer to come here. There is no judgment on content or grammar. We want to refrain from extreme profanity and extreme religious or political views. But you are still welcome to your opinion.
Any and all interested are welcome. Create a profile and start writing. I look forward to seeing what you have to say.

A change is coming!!

untiltheyallcomehome — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 23:41:58 GMT

I just wanted to write a quick note to let everyone know that I will be taking over here on Military Spouse Press. I've been a military spouse for 5 years now. I look forward to opening this board up and getting regular contributing editors. I can be reached at militaryspousepress@hotmail.com. Please contact me if you have any ideas or questions!! I will be posting a more lengthy blog once I get a better idea of some changes I will be making.
Spread the word. Change is coming and I need you.
So calling all Military Spouses...I WANT YOU!!!

New leadership NEEDED for milspousepress

DonQuixote — Sun, 17 May 2009 03:04:40 GMT

I am interested in GIVING this website to any milspouse who is interested in taking it over.

All major expenses have been taken care of for establishing a website and I would completely turn over ownership of the site and the domain name. I would also be willing to help train on the programming of the site and be available in the future for assistance.

This site needs a military spouse (I am not) who is interested, dedicated, responsible, willing and able to give the site the time and energy needed to make it live up to it's potential value to the milspouse community.

If you are interested contact me via my email on my profile.

I hope someone is up to this task because if not I am not going to renew the monthly membership with soapblox due in mid-June.

This site could be a very valuable tool and resource for the milspouse community if cultivated and nurtured correctly.

Tom.

Late....Again.

untiltheyallcomehome — Tue, 14 Apr 2009 15:54:38 GMT

I knew that the Army ran on its own schedule when my husband signed up almost 5 years ago. I expected him to be late for dinner, or sometimes not make it home at all. So why do I still get so damned upset when he calls to say he's going to be late? Well, today I have one reason.
He's in a unit that does flying for some VIP's. I understand that while not everyone sits down to dinner at 5 pm sharp- but I do know that my husband doesn't enjoy getting in around 8 or 9 at night and having to stick his dinner in the microwave night after night. I'm constantly hearing the excuse that "Well, so and so was late" because then guess what? That means another late night for him.
And since I can't yell at those people- guess who bears the brunt of my wrath?
My husband does. I know it doesn't make him any happier than it makes me, but just one time I want those important people to show up on time so that my husband can make it home every now and again for a warm meal. Wishful thinking, I know. It's what everyone wants. No one enjoys working late and I've been out of the work force since I had my daughter almost 6 years ago, but in my mind I think that if everyone gave a little, there would be more husbands around the dinner table at night.
Part of the problem in my house is that I sometimes act like my husband can help it when this happens.I'm smart enough to realize it usually is NEVER his fault that he is late. And I usually get a lecture about how he does not ever CHOOSE to be late, but you know what I'm thinking? How about you PICK UP A PHONE and let me know that things got off to a late start and you're not going to make it home at a reasonable hour. That's all I ask for is forewarning.
We celebrated his birthday over the weekend and mine is coming up on Thursday, so we had friends invite us out for some Chinese food. I'll be going out alone, of course, and it upsets me. I hate being disappointed all the time but there are some things I just don't think I'll ever get used to.

Missing my husband when he's already home..is it ptsd? where do i go for help?

jessdm1223 — Sun, 29 Mar 2009 23:25:40 GMT

My husband was deployed in Iraq for 14 months he came home the 2nd week of December, about 4 months ago. I was so ecstatic to have him home after being without him for over a year. He had mood swings while he was deployed and since I was the only one he had the most contact with out of his family I guess I was the one he took most of his stress out on. I have no idea what happened over there, what he saw, or what he did, but I tried to be more than understanding and blame his anger on the situation, telling myself I didn't know what he was going through, but I knew I had to be there for him. Now that he's home, I feel like I lost my husband in Iraq and this person is a stranger. He doesn't come home after work until late at night, he doesn't talk to me, he doesn't answer my calls and when he is home he is very distant. He often sleeps on the couch and it seems he is uncomfortable being around me or showing affection. we started marriage counseling about a month ago, but that has shown little improvement on the situation. In counseling everything seems great and things will work, but once we are home everything stays the same. I've tried to find help, I've talked to the chaplain, my husband's SGT, our counselor, and anyone I could think of that might be able to help. What I am beginning to understand is that there really isn't significant help for people in our situation and although he is home and healthy and wasn't physically wounded in war, he lost who he was there. I gave the greatest contribution of my life to this war; the love of my life, and there isn't anyone willing to help me get him back.

About 2 weeks ago we hit rock bottom...I couldn't take him lying to me anymore; telling me he was at work late when really he was at his friend's house and when he did come home he busied himself with everything else and distanced himself from family life or any kind of affection or intamcy with me. After 4 months of being alone, crying, depression, trying to understand but not being abe to I finally told him if things didn't change soon I was going home because I couldn't take the lonliness anymore. He told me to leave....and today here I am...700 miles away from him. I've been home for a week and he wont answer my calls or texts ..it's like he doesn't care that I'm gone...I miss him so much...I want my husband back. I was searching google just now for anyone who might be able to help me and I found this site. I don't know if I will find help here or if there is help for my situation, but atleast I found somewhere that I can tell my story and maybe someone can relate.

Congressman calls for mandatory TSP enrollment

inSANEmom — Thu, 02 Apr 2009 14:07:25 GMT

My husband received an interesting email at work yesterday. I couldn't believe my ears when he read it to me. Here is an article about what his email said...

Congressman calls for mandatory TSP enrollment
By Rick Maze - Staff writer
Posted : Tuesday Mar 10, 2009 17:02:50 EDT
To pay for a government smoking prevention bill, Rep. Henry Waxman, D-Calif., wants all government employees to be required to enroll in the Thrift Savings Program - including all service members.
Continued below the fold...

The forced enrollment in the government's version of a tax-deferred savings plan doesn't sit well with the lawmaker who is responsible for opening the program to the military. Rep. Steve Buyer, R-Ind., the former chairman of the House Armed Services Committee's military personnel panel, said some service members may not want their money tied up in the TSP because they receive no government match for their contributions, as federal civilian employees do.
If enrollment is required, Buyer said the government should provide matching funds for service members, which he acknowledged would require finding money in the defense budget.
"Any future matching requirements combined with mandatory enrollment could result in significant costs to the defense budget," said Buyer, currently the ranking Republican on the House Veterans' Affairs Committee.
Buyer's criticism is aimed at HR 1256, the Family Smoking Prevention and Tobacco Control Act. It requires all government workers to automatically be enrolled to divert 3 percent of their basic pay into the pre-tax savings plan. They would be allowed to reduce their contribution or disenroll. The idea behind automatic enrollment is that most people would not go through the steps to drop out.
Under complex congressional budget rules, requiring mandatory TSP enrollment would trigger a temporary increase in mandatory spending, which Waxman would tap into to pay for his anti-smoking bill.

This is BULL SH*T. Congress wants to FORCE every soldier to pay 3% into a TSP to pay for smoking prevention. Even though it is money that we will eventually get back... even with a matching deposit from the government... (assuming of course the country isn't completely bankrupted and they say, "Sorry, we can't afford to give you that money now.") ... that is OUR money and WE should determine how we spend it and how we invest it.

Yes, we will be given the option to opt out. But how long after they start taking our money will it stop? And what hassle will we have to go through to get our money back? And the whole idea that it is an automatic enrollment because they think most people won't go through the steps to opt out? That's just sleazy and backhanded. Not only that... do they really think people will hand over 3% every month without a thought? For us we are talking a couple hundred bucks every month. Do they think we won't notice or simply say, "oh well... it's only a couple hundred bucks" and forget about it?

And really... it's not like they are asking us for our money so we can be sure there is proper armor on every humvee, body armor on our guys, or ammo in their rifles. They want us to do this for a SMOKING PREVENTION PROGRAM. Are they freaking kidding me???

The government is spending TRILLIONS of dollars on pet projects yet they want SOLDIERS and the families to fund THIS? If they need to fund social programs, they need to figure out where to get the money from out of the BUDGET.... NOT FROM SOLDIER'S POCKETS!

If you do not agree with this legislation I encourage you to contact your government officials and tell them to vote NO on HR 1256. And if it does pass, take the time to opt out and send a message to Washington that they do not have your support.

A desperate need for assistance for a tremendous PTSD advocate

DonQuixote — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 14:52:05 GMT

Posted by Don Quixote on behalf of Namguardianangel

In all of this with PTSD, I have no power and cannot get members of congress or the DOD to listen to me. I argue with the VA all the time but they won't listen. I am a member of NAMI on the Veterans Council and I can't get them to listen. I'm on Military Spouses of America board of directors but they won't listen either.

I've been working with veterans suffering from PTSD since 1982. In all these years, I've learned more talking to them, listening to them, than I have learned doing research. Aside from living with my husband all these year, I have an insight few others have. There isn't much I don't know about PTSD but there is too much I don't know about self-promoting. Even if I knew how to do it, I simply don't have the time to invest because of all the hours I put in with the veterans now and tracking PTSD reports around the country and internationally. I have veterans coming to be from 6 nations. Because of this I'm also contacted by police officers and firefighters.

I am in desperate need of help from all the people I know so that I can get the people with the power to do something for our veterans to at least listen to what I know. I cannot use the people I help because all of their communications with me are held in private, so no one really knows what I do. That's why your help is vital to the work I do. Can you post what I wrote? Keep in mind that I am sending this out to several different groups, so your site won't be the only one with it. Please let me know if you can post it up. I really need your help on this. We're loosing too many of them because too many people with the power are looking in the wrong direction.

There is help for our soldiers

dstpandibt — Tue, 10 Mar 2009 23:51:57 GMT

My husband has ptsd, tbi and some other injuries and IS getting help.? By no means am I saying it's been easy.? But, I believe the help is there if your soldier wants it and the spouse or parents help.? My husband came back without the ability to do routine household chores, and everything else that goes along with ptsd and tbi. It took us 3 months to get him into neurology for his initial diagnosis, 6 months to get into cognitive therapy rehabilitation, and 8 months to get into ptsd group therapy.? Every day after he returned home from Iraq I asked him if he got his appointments made, called him at work every day so he would REMEMBER to call and get into all these classes and doc. appointments.? In the meantime we developed our own therapies to help him remember things and to help him out of his flashbacks.? We had hand signals, codes and a bunch of other coping mechanisms so he could lead a functional life until he got into all of those classes and therapies.? We are stationed at Ft Hood and the help is there if you work to get it.?Our life is not the same as it was.? I am now his advocate to everything he does.? I watch him like a hawk and if he makes bad choices he has to deal with the consequences like anyone else.? I am there make sure no one takes advantage of him.? It's hard work and I feel like I want to leave and start over.? But I'm hoping he will develop more emotions and feelings.? That is our next hurdle.? I have learned both soldier and spouse have to work like a fine tuned engine to beat these injuries.? My husband is better, he doesn't drink or go awol.? His flashbacks and nightmares are under control.? He's gotten both mental and physical help for his injuries.? There is hope and they can get better.??

The weight of our sacrifice

untiltheyallcomehome — Thu, 12 Mar 2009 06:23:33 GMT

I was looking around online today at potential freelance writing jobs. I came across a certain website that advertises positions for various communication outlets- and I saw one that was listed from the college I graduated from. It was a Grad Assistant position for this project that I worked on when I was in school there. They're offering to pay for grad school and giving a small stipend (around $6000) in exchange for working on this project, doing research on wrongfully accused inmates who are currently serving jail time.
This may sound kind of strange- but I lost it. It was as if a dam had opened up behind my eyes. Why would this make me cry you might ask? Because 6 years ago when I graduated I had a heavy hand in a story that was published in a major newspaper. I had a byline. I pored 3 semesters of school into the project and 6 years ago I would have given my left foot to continue the work as a grad assistant, while they paid for me to go to school.
I do not regret my life. But sometimes I feel the heavy weight of the sacrifice I have made. I know that while I may be able to find work as a freelance journalist- I probably won't ever be able to be involved in the kind of things I was doing while I was in college. After sort of aimlessly going through my journalism classes, I definitely thought I'd found my niche in the world of investigative journalism. It was deeper, it was more involved- it was wonderful. By the time I graduated from college, I was looking around for internships across the country that would have helped advance my dream career of doing this for a living.
But fate intervened. I became pregnant with our first daughter shortly before I received my diploma bearing a Bachelor of Arts accreditation. And within a year of that event- my husband had joined the Army and was on his way to flight school. Life seemed to fast forward and my own dreams of becoming a reporter seemed to get lost along the way.
They had told me all through school that it would be difficult to have a family if you were "serious about journalism" because it could be so extremely time consuming. What I know now is that it COULD have happened. But as long as I'm moving every few years, establishing myself at a newspaper and working my way through the ranks isn't going to happen for me.
Do I sound bitter? Yesterday I was. Today I'm more reflective- today I realize that while the job I currently have may not be what I always wanted, there is still time for me to find something for myself. I'm not sure what it is yet, but I'm becoming more and more determined to find it.
The weight of our sacrifice is almost unbearable at times, but other times I hardly notice. Not all military spouses feel this way and like I mentioned before, I'm not regretful. I'm anxious for something in my life to change that allows me to be a supportive wife and mother, but also an accomplished one.

Dealing with ptsd and a upcoming deployment

jenv — Thu, 05 Mar 2009 14:54:44 GMT

Sometimes, I really believe the army does not care to get at least my soldier help. My husband was on a 15 month deployment to Iraq and has been home a year which has been like an emotional roller coaster after seeking help for six months they have just diagnosed him with ptsd, I had to go raise hell with the hospital because they give him medication but DO I REPEAT DO NOT address any of the problems he has at first i was unsure if he was telling them anything at all but I do believe he was intendtionally leaving things out, Thsi doctor told me that he is not the same person and its common for them to do somethings and i should just except it well the hell with that they broke him why dont they fix him they dont have to live with him i do and NORMAL people do not do what he does, I told them he has a drinking problem and I forced the issue but ASAP says he has no drinking problem dont they know the first signs is denial. Now they are about five months from another deployment i do not understand how they can send him again when they havent fixed the problems from the first deployment.