Sandra Said It

Sandy Hook Children at Christmas

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 20 Dec 2012 11:19:00 -0500

Sandy Hook Elementary School

Twas' 11 days before Christmas, around 9:38
When 20 beautiful children stormed through Heaven's gate.
Their smiles were contagious, their laughter filled the air.
They could hardly believe all the beauty they saw there.

They were filled with such joy; they didn't know what to say.
They remembered nothing of what had happened earlier that day.
"Where are we?" asked a little girl, as quiet as a mouse.
"This is heaven" declared a small boy. "We're spending Christmas at God's
house".

When what to their wondering eyes did appear,
But Jesus, their Savior, the children gathered near.
He looked at them and smiled, and they smiled just the same.
Then He opened His arms and He called them by name.

And in that moment was joy, that only Heaven can bring
Those children all flew into the arms of their King.
And as they lingered in the warmth of His embrace,
One small girl turned and looked at Jesus' face.

And as if He could read all the questions she had
He gently whispered to her, "I'll take care of Mom and Dad."
Then He looked down on Earth, at the world far below
He saw all of the hurt, the sorrow, and woe.

Then He closed His eyes and He outstretched His hand,
"Let My power and presence re-enter this land!
May this country be delivered from the hands of fools
"I'm taking back my nation. I'm taking back my schools! "

Then He and the children stood up without a sound.
"Come now my children let me show you around. "
Excitement filled the space, some skipped and some ran.
All displaying enthusiasm that only a small child can.
And I heard Him proclaim as He walked out of sight,
"In the midst of this darkness, I AM STILL THE LIGHT."

~Author Unknown

Muslim Envy

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 16:13:00 -0400

A friend of mine is Muslim. She's amazing not only is she fun, she's busy doing and contributing in ways most people only talk about adding significance and substance to the world. She's always covered, head to toe even on the days when the temperature is pushing 100 degrees. Not once have I heard her comment or complain when the rest of us are griping about the heat we claim we love.

I'm always amazed at the numbers of male friends that she has in spite of her being covered and their seeming devotion to her. She's that woman who can literally just look over her shoulder and know someone is standing in wait to assist her. Her temper is lightening fast but so too is her smile.

While I start my day seated in meditation and prayer rarely do I intentionally break away from something to go pray. I do turn consciously in my mind to ask for guidance, send blessings and I stay in a constant state of listening that I'll call being open to hear the Voice of God but rarely does it require me to physically break away.

12 years ago I hosted an exchange professional from Ghana. He is Catholic and highly ritualized in his worship. When he first came to live in my home he was eager to join me in my morning devotion time. While we worship under differently denominations, I know there is only one power, one presence that some of us call God. It matters little to me what name you use, what sex you think She is I choose not to get caught up in those trivial details. I am and have always been unconditionally open to however God shows up.

A few weeks into his 3 month stay I started to get uncomfortable with his "joining" me in prayer. Praying together seemed to create an intimate bond with him and I had no intention of being intimately connected. I know that sounds strange, this man was afterall living in my house but in my mind he was a house guest not a house mate. This praying stuff was getting us too close for comfort.

He seemed both shocked and slightly offended when I told he we could no longer pray together. I am a single woman and had no frame of reference for the intimacy that seemed to grow out of that hour, it had to end.

This memory was triggered a few days ago when my friend needed to make Salat. I asked to stay and be apart of the prayer when her and one of her Muslim brothers made prayer.

Jesus said with two or more are gathered in my name there am I also. When we started to pray I felt that all too familiar shift that seems to open up a vortex of energy sometimes when I pray in a group. My prayer time is good when I'm alone but when I join with others I can feel the amplification of that joined intention. That energized pregnancy that seems to open up when the veil has been lifted. In that moment I understood that intimacy I felt many years before with my house guest and I also understood the relationship my friend has with the men she prays with.

In that small moment of time I understood and developed a new respect for the ritual. I felt envious of the intimacy and potential it carried. While I pray often with others it's not 5 times a day and asking someone to come join me in prayer seems awkward, hookey and in some cases manipulative. Many of us try to create some elaborate prayer that address all our perceived needs and will stir some type of emotion. While emotions seem to infuse our prayers with power as I listened to them pray I had no clue what was being said. In spite of that and maybe because of it the devotion of it touched me so deeply, so sweetly that I am forever changed.

I am honored to be on my path, one that is open to God however God shows up. By keeping an open mind I hear deep within my own soul whenever and wherever God chooses to speak to and through me.

Peace & Blessings 2u!
~Sandra

A Special Relationship

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 13 Jul 2012 14:17:00 -0400

Am I Ready?

I thought I’d matured, I thought that if I was approached by my beloved today I’d be emotionally ready to receive him. Today I’m not so sure. If you’ve been listening you’ve heard me say that I was waiting on my “ME” or Mental Equivalent. Rarely do I meet men who are spiritual in the same ways that I am, able to converse, relate or even be interested in the areas I find fascinating. I meet men who are religious and not spiritual. I’ve settled for less thinking that if I am the person that I think I am I can get them to at least be supportive of my path.

Honestly, I find dating difficult because I believe more in what I feel than what I hear or see, energy is everything to me and I believe I’m quite perceptive. It’s probably not fair to a man who may have genuine interest but are dismissed because all I’m feeling/detecting in him is lust. Lust isn’t cute, sexy or even desirable to me. Yes, of course I want to be desired like any other person but then what? As sex/sexy gets old then what?

Romantic, or as we call them in the ACIM community Special Relationships are difficult enough without making them totally focused on the body and bodily pleasures. I often tweet about men who desire a beautiful woman with a sexy body but do nothing to take care of their own body. They operate as if all they have to do is toss money her way.

Friends often say their 1^st marriage was for love but the 2^nd or 3^rd marriages would be for money, security and stability. I’ve never been married due largely to not wanting to settle for something I knew wouldn't last.

My high school sweetheart recently found me on youtube and sent me a message he lives in Florida. He had asked me to marry him while he was still enlisted and I immediately said yes. I was thrilled at the prospect of being married to a guy I loved. Shortly after our engagement I started getting these excruciating headaches that would get worse when he called. I remember the day I broke off the engagement my head was pounding so hard I thought it would split open. When I picked up the phone that day head pounding I simply said I can’t do this. Do what he asked? Marry you. It felt as if a weight had suddenly been lifted off me almost immediately.

Ironically, as I was writing that a familiar horn blew. The second guy that asked me to marry him works at the fire station a few blocks from my house. He had a plan even before he asked me to marry him he started straightening his life up. He landed a job as a fireman, took me house hunting and was laying the foundation for his proposal. I wish I had told him no when I got the inkling that it was coming. The ride home for the restaurant was torture. For all the years he’s been a firefighter he has never changed stations and still drives past my house and blows that familiar horn.

The guys that proposed to me have been really good guys who still adore me but I never felt the yes. I love them too but still didn’t feel the knowing that I get when something is right. I am honored by the gentle love we still have for one another and cherish the richness of the friendships we share.

Recently I met someone who gave me pause. I felt nervous and a bit unsure as we talked. His approach seemed the same as most; noncommittal. Birthing anything requires commitment and space. I saw a documentary once of an egg being fertilized. Millions of sperms raced towards the egg bouncing up against the membrane trying to get in. Once a sperm penetrates the egg a hormone is released that kills all the other sperm still fighting to get in.

I think I'll know when it's for right now as well as when its right. When it is right I think it will be like the natural fertilization process, all else will fall away and we’ll enter into that alchemical space of gestation that happens just before a new birth.

Blessings 2u!

~Sandra

Internet Radio Show May 20th

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 20 May 2012 14:04:00 -0400

Hey I really have to start blogging more, since I've been working on my book so I'm not quite sure how to separate blog post from book stuff. Tonight I'll be on an internet radio show on www.ACIMgatherRadio.org just go to the site and listen in. Real laid back tonight but I'll start doing this on a weekly basis. Hope to chat with you there. Oh download paltalk.com or tweet with us using #acimsb see you there.

Miracle Workers

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 21 Nov 2011 12:46:00 -0500

I was sitting on my deck a few weeks ago feeling the warmth of the sun typing on my laptop. I heard the traffic on the street and people talking as they walked by but none of it registered in my consciousness because I was in a zone working. But then something cut through my cocoon and pulled me into a state of awareness. I was not sure if I was listening in real-time or if I was operating on a delay what I heard was a woman’s voice saying “my doctor told me I have six months to live.” Curious to see who was talking I quietly sifted my position to get a glimpse of who was talking to whom. It was my neighbor talking to the guy who delivered meals on wheels to the lady a few doors down.

Immediately, my judgments took over. I thought “if she’d stop all the drinking and drugging she wouldn’t be in that predicament.” Hah! she's toxic; she just got out of jail, her & her boyfriend fight all the time, she eats junk food 24/7 and gets up off the coach only to grab a beer or walk to the store for another bag of Fritos. She’s a walking talking drugged out zombie. In my mind she might find death a relief from her seemingly miserable life.

While people normally have conversations like that with me I was so glad she hadn’t I did not have her in a good place in my mind. Funny thing about the mind is that I could have all those thoughts in a split second and not miss a beat. I don’t know what was said before the "six months to live" statement but I did hear the guy as he started fussing at her saying that God has the final word not some doctor.

As he talked I heard him say things that I’d said so many times before, in essence it is done onto you as you believe. “If you accept that you surely will be dead in six months or less,” he said. “How are you going to go down without a fight? Isn’t your life worth more to you than that? Somebody tells you that you’re going to die and you say okay and wait on it?” Oh he was giving it to her good. “Don’t you ever let those words come out of your mouth again!” He spoke to her with such authority and disdain for what she just shared I knew she must have felt ashamed, because I did.

I felt ashamed because I know what it means to have spiritual authority; to speak to the mountain and tell it to move and it be done. I was looking at what actually was rather than what was possible. I had not looked beyond her faults, but rather, reinforced them because of what she had shown me. Familiarity does breed contempt since she was my neighbor I didn’t have the luxury of not knowing her experientially. Now along comes the Good Samaritan and after fussing for five minutes he asked “are you saved?” I didn’t hear her answer because it was not a question that was important to me. I do know that that’s when he started to pray with her and as he did so did I.

As man drove off to continue his route I sat there questioning myself. Who is this stranger that is in my head today thinking as if it were me? I, Sandra Bishop, know better. I know that I cannot escape the prison that I locked my neighbor into. If I hold in my mind that she is doomed then I will be too. I can’t be free if I imprison my sister; as I see her, I will see myself. Not that I do what she does but if she can’t change, if her life can’t be transformed then neither can mine. God is no respecter of persons if I can be transformed so can she and so can you. It can and did happen in a holy instant.

This exchange was an answer to a prayer I’d asked, “God where have I strayed off course?” I love the way God speaks. He didn’t have to say “my child you’re not looking at your neighbor through loving eyes.” He let me overhear a conversation so that I could open my own eyes.

I can’t be a miracle worker with judgmental calcified vision. I have to see not only what is possible; I have to see the masterpiece that God ordained them to be, that requires that I be open and loving. I almost typed forgiving but it’s not that, it is beyond forgiveness. Forgiveness assumes that something is out of order or wrong. I know that sometimes part of our growth process requires that we go into the darkness to better see the light. It’s not that a person is wrong or off course they are “in the process” and if they keep moving forward it all works out as it should. Sometimes we get all get stuck and linger longer than we should in the darkness thinking that that is our truth. A prayer is often sufficient summons guidance. God's will will be done.

Here’s what I know. If I am in judgment of another person I’m not in the light, I’m in the darkness too. I know that a shift in perception is all it takes; I know how to get back to heaven without a GPS. I also know that heaven is incomplete without my neighbor so if I want it restored to me it is imperative that I show them the way. I can’t do that from a place of judgment (standing in the dark pointing at the light) but only from a place of love.

I trust that God has a purpose and plan for each of us and that successful execution of that plan is inevitable. Once a person hears the summons, sees the light or feels the pull there will be miracle workers like you and I along their path encouraging them to keep moving forward. Whispering “rest if you must but don’t you quit we’re waiting on you.”

Trust the Process

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 11 Nov 2011 15:00:00 -0500

It seems that something has been missing from my life, a lot of things. I have prided myself on living with purpose and meaning but lately it seems as though I have lost my way so I pray. For years I had been involved in and taught about living a spiritual life, one day that all suddenly ended and I’ve felt myself wondering in the wilderness at times trying to figure out how to have the promise land revealed to me again, so again I pray.

I remember when I first discovered what we called new thought, I went first to a Johnnie Coleman church where they seemed to talk about and relate to God in ways that were totally unfamiliar to me. I had read the bible cover to cover while overseas and found that the Baptist teachings I’d grown up in no longer suited my understanding. I was on my own till I met a woman who said “oh that sounds like what they teach at LTC,” I looked it up and went thinking they couldn’t possibly be where I was but they were pretty close. I called that place home for a long time until that minister left and I went to a Science of Mind church.

Without going into the subtle nuisances of all the teachings I’ve studied it was in new thought and Science of Mind in particular taught me about spiritual mind treatment which is commonly called prayer. They’d dissect prayer paying close attention to the relationship of oneness we have with God. Changing what has been instilled into me from almost birth is an ongoing process.

The idea that I could be plugged in one day and on the outside looking in the next seems odd, I know. I’ve searched my soul trying to recall if this spiritual sojourn could have been the answer to a prayer; you know the show me kind. Maybe I needed to see or be sure that where I was is where I truly wanted to be. So I prayed.

The final step in the prayer process is to release your words with the spirit of expectancy and anticipation. When I first learned the prayer process things seemed to happen so quickly I’d actually move out of the way for fear of being hit by the fast delivery. I chuckle about it now. When I prayed for a car I parked mine around the corner and walked home; I didn’t want any blockage to my blessing. I got it and it only took 3 weeks and was paid in full as requested. Often my prayers are not for things but rather to have something revealed, developed or understood. How this comes into existence is often an arduous process like the birth of a child. This spiritual wondering or sojourn maybe part of the process unfolding whatever the case may be I trust the process.

On Air

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 11 Feb 2011 11:47:00 -0500

My phone rang at 6:04 pm the other day. I’d been at my father’s house for over an hour talking about my recent trip to Seattle. He’d been asking a lot of questions and surprisingly I knew the answers. I didn’t answer some knowing the reason he was asking them. The phone number was not one I recognized but I knew it was a local cell phone number from the exchange. “Hello?” I said in my most professional voice. He identified himself right away which I like; I hate when people assume you know who it is or think that it’s fun to make you guess. I don’t save numbers in my phone automatically I don’t like scrolling through them.

The caller was Darnell Brewer and on the rare occasion that he calls it’s for a reason. “I need a favor” he got right to the point. He was asked to host a radio show for a mutual friend at the last minute and needed a guest and wanted to know if I was available. “What time” I asked, there was one of those nervous chuckles and then “7 o’clock” as he cleared his throat. After doing talk radio and cable TV for the past 15 years I know what it’s like to scramble to find a guest for whatever reason. If the show is popular its easy guest are soliciting you all the time asking if they can come on your show. When the show is not popular you’re looking under every rock you can to find someone even half-way interesting to come downtown at odd hours, in the cold to do a show. This was a live talk show with callers.

For some reason I asked “so how far down on your list was I?” as if it mattered. Maybe it was my ego but I honestly wanted to know before I agreed. “Number 3” he said. I had already stood up put my cup in the sink and was starting to pull on my coat as I gave him my meager demands. It was cold out and I didn’t want to drive, if he started right then he could get me and be down at the station in time for the show. Luckily I had my laptop in tow. I don’t know how I ever did radio before computers & internet access. I pull up everything because it seems disrespectful to those that are listening to me to be caught unaware or uninformed of anything. Thanks to the internet you can know a little bit about everything as quickly as you can type it in. We arranged a pick up location and I was off.

The Seattle Backdrop

I had only been back in town 2 days at that point. I’d spent a week in Seattle with my family following a funeral that I attended. I’d stayed with my Aunt and Uncle whose house was not only beautiful it was immaculate, something that I’m not quite use to. My place is comfortable, you know lived in; it’s just me. Like now I’m sitting here at my kitchen table typing there is no special room or office that I have to sit in, sure I have an office but I’d rather sit in my kitchen with a cup of coffee next to me. I have small bookcase on my kitchen table for books I like to keep close. I have journals and papers sprawled out on the table too. I have a basket at my feet with more books and papers and a stool for my reference stuff like a dictionary, thesauruses and bibles. My bedroom is pretty much the same, scattered with books, notebooks, pens and highlighters. Don’t get me wrong there is nothing wrong with having a well organized home but coming from mine it’s an adjustment. They didn’t pick up my stuff but they did neaten up my workspace each time I left it for a moment.

It seemed indulgent being able to sit in their home surrounded on every side by breathtaking beauty. The view of the lake the mountain, their home was awe inspiring like the perfect place to write or create something wonderful. Leaving there to come back to my own home was hard, like a little kid I wanted to drag my feet or fall on my face and refuse to leave. It was 50 degrees and I was coming back to snow and freezing temperatures. I was ready to chuck home, thinking my fish had enough food in their automatic feeder and a decent battery. They like that feeder better anyway; feeding time is fixed and happens twice a day. They seem to pout a little when I resume feeding them.

Just like Home

My returning to the airways with that microphone in front of me felt like my return home should have felt, right. When they cued us I lit up. Doing radio is not like TV both require personality but you bring a different side of it to radio without as much prep time. I went from drinking tea with Dad to being on air in one hour. On TV you have worry about hair, makeup, wardrobe and not just any old clothes. What accentuates you while not clashing with your set? Does it make me look too fat and where to put that microphone? It’s recorded then edited then shown. Radio is live. .it’s magic and callers give instant feedback and interaction. Don’t get me wrong I love TV but the difference between radio and TV is the difference between my Aunt’s house and mine. I miss it.

Consider it Done

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 10 Dec 2010 13:21:00 -0500

Organized religion has done a real head job on us. When we buy into it we compartmentalize our lives into something totally unrecognizable. We divide it into the things that seem acceptable and those that are not; when in actuality all of it is who we are. It is no wonder mental ailments are so rampant in our society. Jesus said a house divide against itself cannot stand, many of us are divided within ourselves how can we stand?

I tend have the perception that an all powerful God that could create the Universe would not be a deceiver. He would not give humans or animals faculties that they were not suppose to use. We certainly need to learn appropriateness so that we don't self pleasure in public but that is vastly different from denial or suppression of our natural inclinations.

I often believe that religion without being tempered by common sense causes an internal strife. There is a beauty in being able to listen not only to your body but to your spirit as well and be true to it. Many people live unhappy, unfulfilled lives listening to everything and everybody but themselves & that still small voice that speaks from within. We pretend to trust in God yet don't trust that He speaks to each of us. If we do hear what we heard can't possibly be right. It's too audacious, to good maybe to be true for us or requires more risk than we're willing to take.

To Be Good

Most of us wonder about how different our lives would be if we had made other choices. I know I do. I wonder what I would have done if I grew up believing I was beautiful. Or if I thought it was okay to live a free and adventurous life. It is truly the nature verses nurture question for me. My nature says be out spoken, bold & adventurous. My nurture says a good Baptist girl gets married, has babies, keeps a clean house, joins the PTA and has dinner on the table when her husband gets home. Seeing life in terms of this continuum puts you at a terrible disadvantage. The definition of being good is so narrowly focused that if not this then that. I'm not good therefore I'm bad. These external value judgments cloud the real truth.

At a certain point in our lives we have to stop with the holier than thou attitudes and figure out what it means to have a real relationship with God. In becoming more spiritual and less religious we discover a God that wants us to be happy. That He didn't create us from a cookie cutter destined to monotonous Stafford wives. Spiritualized living recognizes God speaking constantly. Believe it or not when we're more spiritual God becomes more expansive, more powerful weaving in and out of every experience or encounter. We stop limiting God to a book and see Her everywhere actively involved in our lives not standing in judgment but beaconing us to rise.

The Kingdom of God is spread out before us here on earth. It is not only in the good that we see but also in the bad. In this awareness when you're confused simply ask the question God what would you have me see here? And anticipate the answer.

In All & Through All

I was following a friend to shop one day, she was taking her car in for service. We were on the freeway and I was clutching my steering wheel crying and praying out loud about a number of things that just weren't going right in my life. Finally it got to the point that I felt all prayed out, I had that pause where I thought what else? I started that involuntary sniffling we do after a good cry, you know the one where your chest heaves as you try to catch your breath.

I often use my drive time as prayer time as if traffic was some metaphor for life. This morning the traffic was thick and I had been careful to keep my eye on the car ahead of me maintaining what I thought was an acceptable distance. We'd be exiting soon so I was drying my eyes. I wanted the puffiness to go down before I had to get in the car with my friend, I didn't want the questions about why I was crying that was my business. Then out of nowhere this huge 18 wheel semi started cutting over into my lane. Checking my rearview mirror I prayed & screamed not wanting to be hit from behind as I jammed on my brakes. I was screaming all kinds of profanities at that truck.

In a matter of seconds I had gone from praying to cursing calling that driver everything but a child of God. How dare he cut in front of me like that? I could have been killed I thought and uttered a reluctant thank you to God for moving me out of the way. But I fussed at God "why does it have to be so darn hard all the time?" That truck almost hitting me was adding insult to injury or putting salt in a wound. As I was pondering my seemingly terrible lot in life I saw the truck, as if for the first time. Written across the rear door in huge cursive letters was "consider it done." Tears started pouring from my eyes freely as those words penetrated my soul. Consider it done! Thank you God, thank you.

Step Out 2 Step Up

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 6 Dec 2010 15:37:00 -0500

Recently I asked a friend to appear on my TV show, I was somewhat pressed to get a guest and knew he needed some PR for his newly formed business venture. On the day of the taping he called to say that he wasn't dressed right, his face was broken out, and a number of things that to me sounded like cold feet. Who passes up free publicity?

I have frequently had to talk guest into doing something that they really want to do but often lack the confidence or courage to do. They worry what others will think or say as if an opinion can, of themselves, cause harm. Truly the only harm an opinion can do is when we put a period behind it, accept it as truth and think end of story.

There is always the risk of not getting chosen but if we never step out there we run the added risk of not being seen either. All success carries with it some degree of risk, if we risk nothing we gain nothing. At least in doing or putting ourselves out there we are open we not only get exposure but we find areas to improve for better positioning.

Growth

When I first started out of the radio years ago stressed over the idea of finding my voice. I kept going on about how I wanted to be perceived, the affect I wanted to have and the general feel and texture of my show. I appeared on other's shows, co-hosted and eventually got my own show and time slot and still I talked about finding my voice.

A dear friend and fellow talk show host gave me a tape and asked me to listen; I was surprised to recognize the voice that I resonated most with was my own. I know that sounds strange how could I not recognize my own voice? I felt like I was having an out of body experience and all I could think was WOW! That day I stopped searching for my voice and realized that I had had it all along, it grew out of who I was and not something I made up based on what I thought others wanted to hear.

Self Acceptance

The challenge of accepting oneself is an internal challenge; we are often quicker to condemn ourselves than to be condemned. We compare and judge thinking that what we think about ourselves others think also. Growing up we learned to modify our behavior and thinking by listening to the constant input of others eventually, drowning out or losing track of our own voice. Part of the maturation process is finding or reclaiming that voice. That reclamation process can be very different for each of us.

Some try to fit in or blend in attempting not to differentiate themselves from the crowd. Go along to get along.
Some fight against the crowd; often taking on the role of an outsider or antagonist.
Some become approval addicts or develop co-dependent personalities.
Others learn a sense of confidence that says yes we're different and that is okay.

To a great degree learning to accept your own voice means that you must stand on your own two feet and risk the disapproval of others. It also makes room for the possibility that others may be impressed or persuaded by your stance or inspired to let go of the self-defeating habit of seeking approval.

Make time for yourself daily so you can get clear on what you think or believe and define what is important to you. When you get clear on your core values let that serve as your litmus test. The last thing we need is more coppertops jumping on a bandwagon to nowhere. Challenge those around you to look beyond the surface of what's popular.

What Does Courage Dictate You Do?

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 30 Aug 2010 10:48:00 -0400

A few years ago people started popping up with these bands and necklaces that asked the question WWJD or What Would Jesus Do in an effort to be more Christ like. I certainly thought it provided a good litmus test for our actions but was a little too abstract for me. It seemed much easier for me to ask myself what would love say do? In my mind I had a clear idea of what it meant to love but when I begin to think that I know what someone else would do I get a little cloudy.

My aim is to act loving. Others don't always perceive the love because even love can sometimes seem harsh. Times have changed so much our homes can often be out of balance if we don't have both male and female energy present. As a result I think that we, especially women, tend to coddle their children so much that they are cheated out of some growth experiences. If they don't get the lesson at home it is necessary that they get it somewhere. Often the most loving thing a person can do is tell the truth no matter how daunting that truth may be.

After doing the blog I wrote yesterday about clockworks and how things come together as they should I started thinking about some of the choices I've made and asked myself when it was I was stretching to my highest and best? There have been numerous times that I've stretched and acted from courage. There are also times I acted from fear. Did courage require an outside push, mine did not but as I recall when I acted from fear I sought counsel to tell me what I was doing was ok. Hmmm. . .

Today, this morning I thought that I should modify myself talk to include what would courage dictate I do? Faith isn't blind it's visionary but it requires courage. You have to have faith to be courageous because courage requires presence of mind. Fear if given entry festers and grows and can eventually permeate your thought system. Hence the admonishment by Roosevelt who said the only thing to fear is fear itself.

It Happens Like Clockworks

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 29 Aug 2010 13:09:00 -0400

I was looking for a small notebook, and rather than go to the store and buy yet another one I decided to look what I had in the house to recycle or re-purpose a book. Now let me say that yes, I can be somewhat of a pack rat, I have notebooks from college that have to be 20 years old. I have boxes of journals, new and used, because I write daily. As I'm typing this it's back to school season so I just purchased extra journals at the back to school prices.

After a brief search I found a small green fat notebook that is so old the lines had started to fade. It was perfect because I was just planning to keep a food journal for about a month to keep track on how different foods affect me. You know if you get bloated from dairy or a headache from coffee, the kind of stuff you can just quickly scratch down and forget about till review time.

The notebook was half filled and coincidentally started off with the number of a man I just ran into by accident a few days ago. He was in the grocery store riding in one of those handicap scooters. He asked if I was still on the radio. I told him about the TV show I was doing and he said "see I told you so" as if I had that kind of memory.

As I thumbed through the book it seemed to be a journal that I'd kept in my meditation closet. It was full of insights and prayers. It was dated for the turn of the century December 1999, which is probably when I met that guy and several months thereafter. It chronicled a few conversations with various people about money, vibrations and stuff I needed most of which I have since gotten and given away to goodwill. I wrote about what it would take to get a cable show.

In 1999 getting a show seemed to be about politics and who I knew. I seemed to be struggling to make it happen. When it actually happened it was the result of someone asking me "hey can we get you to do a show?" I said yes and things just fell into place because I kept moving forward. It is still not all that I've envisioned but as I keep moving forward I trust that all will happen as it should.

Prayer

When I had my center I seemed to struggle with finances, but I was so happy about allowing Spirit to use me. I use to talk about prayer & meditation which is the medium for creation. In meditation I'm conscious of the gentle spin of this wonderful planet and the movement of time. Everything is alive, active and moving but when I got clear in my mind about what I wanted and formulated it into a request or prayer I could feel a pause in the activity of life. It was as if someone said "wait-wait-wait: Sandra just put in a request." I could feel the adjustments being made in the clockworks, reset, and then a resuming of the movement of time.

Results aren't immediate in experience but seed was planted the moment I made my request. If left to germinate it will arrive when ripe. It's mostly about me growing into the person I need to be for my desire to come into fruition. It is not easy to trust that Spirit knows how to accomplish our desired result. This is most apparent in our search for a mate, rather than exercising patience we jump on the first thing that slows down.

The Gift

A brief review of that fat little notebook reminded me to trust that the answer to my request is always affirmative. When I was having the financial struggles at the center I jumped ship rather than practice patience. Intellectually, I decided that what I was doing was for ego rather than God; years later I see that it was ego fighting for its own life. The way I now distinguish between God's voice and egos is to see which one calls for my highest and best self? Which one requires a gentle stretch?

Sitting back and allowing or trusting Spirit to do what Spirit does isn't easy. Trusting God to send the people and experiences into my life to grow me into the person who will be ready or a match for what I desire is an act of faith. When the time is ripe there is no struggle, your desires will come together like clockworks.

Lessons on Loving

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 11:26:00 -0400

Last week I had a wonderful couple on the show. I went to college with Levett and had the honor of meeting his wife Pia for the first time on the show.

I love the way love looks with the eyes of adoration, its not something you can rehearse. I loved the interview and the beauty of the book. I hope you get a chance to check it out. I wish you love.

Finding Sandra

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 11:12:00 -0400

Years ago I was trying to figure out why I wasn't achieving what I knew in my heart I was capable of. I made a list of people that I knew, made a few exploratory calls and had conversations about "my situation," no one seemed to think that my failure to achieve my goals was a problem of ability but of timing. I didn't know how to get "unstuck" as I called it so I sought professional help. I made of list of all my talents, my desires and dreams, knowing that it was within my power to achieve them all, and headed down to the clinic. I waited quite a while not having an appointment. I would have to be seen, I was told, after or in between the appointments of others. The intake process included an interview to assess the problem and its severity. From there my case would then be discussed within the counselor's weekly review meeting to set up a plan of action. I would bet assigned to a counselor after which a date would be set for me to begin therapy. They warned me that this could take up to six months to be completed.

Therapy

My list and self assessment may have contributed to therapy sessions starting almost immediately. A counselor, Shaun Johnson, who was "sitting in" on the intake because he was just starting wanted my case. After several months of showing up and talking nonstop for an hour each week I asked if he had figured out what my issue was, why was I not achieving my goals? At the end of the session he said rather clinically "I think you suffer from cognitive dissonance let's talk about it next week." I went home pulled out books, got online and researched everything I could on cognitive dissonance which for me proved to be an elusive little bugger. It's when your ideal self and actual self don't match up, I know that is an over simplification but it works. What I needed to know was why not. One example was I have always wanted to write a book I read and wrote constantly but I was always my own worst critic. Either I wouldn't finish the book or I would feel awkward at having someone read or edit what I had written.

I wanted to understand why so I could get beyond it. Now having been diagnosed I could try to bring this distortion into alignment which is in itself a process. Shaun left moving to New Orleans prior to hurricane Katrina and we never worked through my issues. Was I not living in my own head or overly concerned with the opinions of others? Honestly I still struggle with it today. I still I hear my girlfriend's comments and tone it down when I'm getting dressed.

Finding Me

The challenge it seems is to live out my truth in the moment, without apologizing. Rather than getting distracted by arbitrary circumstance just do it. So what if I get the urge to write at 4 am or 8 pm I can actually do it rather than think about the appropriateness of the moment. I am absolutely guilty of at times being more concerned about others feelings than my own. That concern while many of us believe it to be normal and appropriate can have us marching to the beat of another person's drum rather than our own. Making constant modifications that leave us flying half staff and feeling grossly unfulfilled.

I have talked for years about our inherent uniqueness and the obligation that we have to live out the truth for which we were created to live. Often that means that someone will not like what I have to say, but my or your speaking up is necessary to move us both forward. My friends have an absolute right to make whatever comments they choose and I have an absolute right to hear them and disregard their opinion if I so choose. Overtime, if one is not careful, other people's opinions and criticism can chip away at one's perception of self to the point that we lose touch with our own truth.

Many of us have our own personal constitution that may or may not fit in with those around us. It is therefore necessary to find ways to celebrate who we are naturally. I always find it interesting to see the little girls who are girly with purses and dresses and those that are tom boys. As children our personalities come to the surface and are there defiantly. As adults the same is true but we often surround ourselves with opinionated others that sometimes cause a pause in our thinking to consider new information.

As I was typing this I heard my neighbor make his usual comment about turning left to enter your place of residence. Some are tempted to drive around the block and come back from the right just to avoid hearing his protest. Our opinions have to override the opinions of those around us or we'll get lost energetically. We have to surround ourselves with a variety of friends who either affirm us or with whom we have common interest. It is great to have friends who love to party as long as you also have those that will attend an opera or yoga class with you if you so choose. People don't usurp your individuality, we relinquish it to fit in and then wonder why we're feeling scattered and off center. We have to learn how to set effective boundaries so that we don't lose ourselves in others.

So make a list of what you love to do, places you love to go, values you hold dear and commit to speaking up when you feel moved to do so. In other words be true to you. May the force be with you.

In Memory of Eugene A. White

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Tue, 6 Jul 2010 17:42:00 -0400

I went to the funeral of a dear friend today. I made the 30 minute drive to pay tribute to a man I adored. When I arrived the audience was full of people who also adored him and shared much of the same experience that I had. His son commented that everyone has a "Dr. White story," it was true and most of them were funny.

His obituary was filled with his many accomplishments he was complex yet simple. When we originally met he told me he was an atheist recognizing himself as the "got damn cause" of everything that happened in his life. This spawned many wonderful conversations that went on for years. One day he finally announced himself a Buddhist and threatened to dawn a loin cloth and parade the streets to talk about causality. His generous spirit will be missed. I am honored to call him a friend. I share here his list of guiding principles listed in his obituary.

White's Dozen

Everybody is a minority of one.
Every group is a lie (from Kierkegaard), every hog thinks his own sty is the nastiest. (his Mother)
I am more than a noun or adjective; I am a verb. Any relevant label for me must relate to my actions and not my adjectivized noun-ness.
I am not an effect, but rather a cause. I am responsible for my goals and my actions to achieve those goals, as well as for the consequences of my actions or inactions.
Thought is not so much the result of experience as experience is the result of thought.
One indispensable part of being a verb, i.e., of "doing," is that I ask. That facilitates my interaction with other verbs.
The world outside, from my point of view, is not under my control, is not rational, and is not sane. The world inside, however, is mine to control; it is indeed my kingdom.
"In the beginning was the word" and the word is not to be trusted.
My skin and hair have little, if anything, to do with what I am. They have more to do, however, with what others may think of me before they meet me. They also have much to do with my commitment to truth and justice, my love of wisdom, and my sense of humor. Those who look for me will find me inside my skin and hair.
Prejudice is the ability of some to know me without asking me. Some blacks are guilty of that also, as they insist that if I do not think or talk or act in certain ways, I cannot be black. I am a homo sapiens.
My six best friends are named who, what, where, how, when and why. (credit to Rudyard Kipling)
My seven rules of life are:
1. I shall act today.
2. I will perfect myself.
3. I will ask for nothing.
4. I will give generously.
5. I will receive gratefully.
6. I will not pretend.
7. I will blame no one.
  (Credit to Seven Rules, A.W. Robertson. Gloxinia Press. 1960)

Book of Sandra ~ The Shoot

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Thu, 10 Jun 2010 11:06:00 -0400

"You airbrushed my face?"

A Picture is Worth 1,000 Words

I recently had a friend come down to the studio and take some pictures of me on my set. He is a professional photographer and always being innovative with his work. I love the way he looks at the works of famous photographers and figures out what they do and then immolates it. I have had him take pictures of me where he used shadows like in the photo I used above and on all my work. In that picture he added shadow for effect.

This time around he wanted to do some alter ego shots on my set. He came in set up his own lights in an already well lit studio and quickly took a few shots in 2 different outfits he seemed pressed for time and then left.

When he dropped off the pictures yesterday I was quite surprised. I loved the effect he was trying to produce but what I noticed most immediately was my missing nose. I said "you airbrushed my face?" He said "no, no, no I simply took out the shadows and got rid of the hot spots." So really my nose is the same he explained but taking away the shadow and the shine makes it look like that.

Shadow Side

I woke this morning with that idea on my mind. We try so hard to walk the middle path our lives to avoid the excesses; stirring clear of the darkness but yet not walking to close to the light for fear that either will consume us. That picture made me realized that it's both my darkness and the light that makes me who I am, to deny either is to deny what makes me me. I have learned to love and accept me as I am for who I am.

Book of Sandra ~ Now

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 2 Jun 2010 15:07:00 -0400

Life is awesome. To live in the present is to recognize each moment as a gift that only comes once and when gone it never comes again. Time is described like an unrelenting tide that stops for nothing cutting a path and leaving those that are unprepared or unyielding in its wake. Ready or not here it is now.

To live in the moment requires that we be consciously present and willing is nice too. When I'm in the moment I'm more open and aware of spiritual guidance. I'm prompted to make a call to a friend that I haven't talked to in a while, or go to a coffee house where another old friend shows up. A song on the radio, a book, a television show or any old little thing that triggers some thought and viola wonderful happens.

I love reminding people that miracles happen all the time when we're open to receive. The trouble is that we either block it or ignore it. We get complacent or lazy. I've done it too. Opting to passively watch rather than engage. What I've schedule for tomorrow remains in my tomorrows that never comes and I fall prey to the law of diminishing intent.

Carpe Diem

I was over a friend's house years ago, we were in our twenties. We had decided to go for a leisurely walk around her neighborhood; we use to do that all the time (I wonder why we stopped). On this particular day this older woman was solemnly watering her lawn, as we approached, she turned off her hose and said to us, if you have something you want to do, do it now don't wait. She said she and her husband had sacrificed and saved planning to travel when they both retired. She got this blank distant look in her eyes and then said "he went and died on me six months before retirement." She turned her hose back on. I remember getting caught up on her anger; she made it sound as if it was something he did to her purposefully. She was angry at him for something he had no control over. In the moment the message was overshadowed by her grief.

To be honest we have been a bit critical of those among us that seek immediate gratification, saying that we have to work for what we want and be patient. We know too that tomorrow is not promised and none of us gets a do over. So what are we waiting for? Retirement, a rainy day or what? How often do you say tomorrow?

In a church service one day I listened as the minister talked about a friend who had asked her to will a $1,200 bottle of wine to her. The minister had been saving the bottle for a special occasion. When we're looking for something special nothing seems to be special enough to open a bottle that was already paid for.

Something similar happened to me. I bought a can of lump crab meat that was on sale and didn't want to eat it alone so I kept waiting to open it. I'd had friends over for dinner but nothing seemed special enough for me to open the crab. I grilled or made salads but had not opened my crab. Finally after saving it for 6 months I decided I'd better just make some crab cakes anyway. As soon as I pierced the can the smell of my precious crab hit my nose. I wasted $20 waiting for something special rather than realizing that if I used any of the other opportunities to make the crab cakes that would have created the specialness.

I know it doesn't seem like much but many of us squander away opportunities waiting for something to happen rather than making the moment special. We each have the power to bring specialness to any situation. So go ahead and put on that dress, lingerie, shoes, suit or cologne. Splurge on every meal that you have time to enjoy; you never know when it'll be your last. Come to every moment with your entire being and reach deeply it maybe your last chance. The only moment is now so seize it! Carpe Diem!

Book of Sandra ~ Go Strong or Go Home

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 26 May 2010 15:12:00 -0400

Chapter 13

So I have been fighting writing this week. I know when you come to the page you have to be in a position to be honest and share what you really feel. I have not been in that place because while I want to share my insights I'm ambivalent, you never know who's reading this. However as I write this two things come to mind. The first is that to not share what I think, my truth is to stand in the way of someone else's growth. Truth is relative so it's one person's perspective and even that can be a hard pill to swallow. I owe it to myself and them and myself to share it. The second part of that I have to set up.

I had a speaking engagement set up for this past week, it was kind of last minute but sometimes those are the best kind. I had a full schedule so I was squeezing in prep time. I kept trying to get a feel for what I was going to talk about but nothing concrete was coming. Normally I pray about it and in meditation I'll get excited about a subject and then start to develop a skeleton. I try not to fill in all the details that is spirit's part. Anyway, I was getting glimmers of a message but nothing complete like I normally do.

The Science of Mind: 50th Anniversary Edition

The Request

In my meditation that morning I asked for clarity, was what I had prepared on point? I got the sensation that I should do one on my message hunts. I have a box of 200+ Science of Mind and Unity magazines, when I want a message I choose one blindly and then open it to a page and where my eyes land I read. So the second part of my reasoning is the message I got. It was from Herman Melville and simply said. . ."woe to the one who aims to please rather than appall," I was blown away. How much clearer could a message get? I got the image of Jesus going into the temple and turning over the tables of money changers and admonishing the leadership. Was I up to the task?

The energy I felt from that group was weak and confused. Not what I expected at all. I'm big on feeling energy it gives a clear indication on leadership and the trajectory of my talk. I stood up on high and was going to get these people excited and vibrating higher than they were when I walked in if I had to lay hands on them myself. I talked and quoted and reminded them of what they should already know. Reaching back to the basics always gets a reaction out of people. I got one or two resonant stares but not enough. So I kept talking and finally when I had worked myself up into my frenzy I sat down. The music played and then the guy who is the spiritual leader of the center stood up and apologized saying a few nice things then something like growth hurts – stretching is uncomfortable.

Insight

We talked after service and he said he wasn't apologizing for me but that people get bent out of shape when someone tries to get them to stretch. He talked about pleasing his board and I reminded him of the quote that I allowed to guide me. Spiritual audacity is the term I used in my talk. We have to have the audacity to see God everywhere. We have to have the audacity to believe in miracles and guidance and to follow that where it may lead. To talk about what is right rather than popular, if that is not what church is for then what is the point? There must be a moral authority based on teachings and principles and not on the collection plate. It is the responsibility of leadership to lead and not follow.

I'm thankful for the lesson.

Book of Sandra ~ Power of No

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 19 May 2010 12:51:00 -0400

Chapter 11

I heard her say; "I keep meeting knuckleheads," meeting them or attracting them is not the problem. The problem is you knew he was a knucklehead and gave them your number or your goodies anyway.

I just wrote a blog on saying yes. I firmly believe that we have to be open to life to experience more of it. But the other day I ran into an old acquaintance. I never thought of him as a friend, he always struck me as being duplicitous and quite sleazy. I knew he was attracted to me, he seem to have all the trappings nice car & house but he had that yuck factor and for me that can't be overcome with material stuff. I was my normal winsome self went over to greet and hug him hello. We chatted for a few minutes and then came that awkward quasi-question that seems a natural progression to these chance encounters: "Let me get your number."

When we're young we have to be taught to be considerate of others feelings. My nephew, a 10 year old said to a grown man "hey you're short, I'm gonna be eating off the top of your head in a minute." It may be true but it was not even remotely cute or necessary to say. We can be considerate of others without being inconsiderate to ourselves. I know it sounds like that old saying: disagree without being disagreeable, it's the same sentiment.

Personal Value

At a certain point in our lives we begin to value our own piece of mind. Now, I care more about what I think of myself than what you think about me. My ego use to get caught up on other people's opinions but I learned what's good for my ego is often detrimental to me. How would I know what I think, if all I care about is what you think? That's abdicating personal authority to another. My real power is in my ability to choose and own my choices. Pandering to the opinions and desires of others makes you a dependent, cut that umbilical cord and stand up.

We all get lost or confused at times, we have our peak and valley experiences. If we back up a bit we can normally recognize which one we're in. Sometimes our friends point it out. I'm quick to say to a friend "you must be depressed." How we feel about ourselves shows up in the choices we make or fail to make. Our self caring suffers. I heard her say; "I keep meeting knuckleheads," meeting them or attracting them is not the problem. The problem is you knew he was a knucklehead and gave them your number or your goodies anyway. When we feel good we feel empowered to make healthy choices. When you're feeling bad, you don't always know it, but you will show it so sometimes the only option is to try to do no harm. Invoke your power to say NO!

Choose Again

Recently, I had to do a reevaluation of my life; what is important to me and what feels good. I had to find my center because I was in a fog. I knew that there was a bigger me out there, I remembered her, she wasn't just a dream I had she was my old self and I was somehow lost. I knew if I stayed on the road I was on I would keep drowning out her beacon call. I had to stop, distinguish her voice and once I tuned into her make an immediate course change before I lost her again. We all get lost from time to time we look up and find ourselves doing things we never would have done in the past. It's like the prodigal son who came to himself and said in my Father's house even the servants live better than this.

If that happens or has happened to you forgive yourself. We have to go through it to grow through it. Clinically it's called depression; none of us want to claim that so we call it midlife crises, bad marriage or almost anything else. Whatever you call it come to a full stop and like in the mall mark your spot, you are here "X" now. Why are you here, what brought you to this point? Get the lesson and then set a course for either your old home or a new one.

Engage

Now that you've determined where you need to go don't do any more damage by continuing to allow your current circumstances to dictate your future aspiration. Cut the cord and don't breathe or feed through it again. We have been so accustomed to living in our pain that we often cling to things that cause us more pain. Get clear on your destination and begin again. Know that your power lies in your ability to make better choices more aligned with where you are headed than where you have been. That's where you have to use the power of NO. No you're not going there. No you can't call me or even get my number. Consciously claim your newness through the power of NO.

Book of Sandra ~ Say Yes

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 May 2010 12:28:00 -0400

A question has a tangible feel, just like a yes or no does. I feel an answer often before I ask the question. I fancy myself as somewhat intuitive, even took classes and have read books for develop and hone the skills necessary to develop the ability. It's really a thrill when I hear spirit speak or when the air gets pregnant like something important is about to happen. I can tap into someone's energy and feel their thoughts or have seen impressions that tell me what direction to take. I have often been tapped to answer someone's prayer, that could be as simple as telling someone help is on the way. As wonderful as that maybe at times it can be a curse as well.

The problem is that I can feel a person's ambiguity and react to what they feel rather than to what they say. To me it seems that my personal integrity is stake if I knowingly push a person to do something that I think is against their will.

I can't tell you how often I've done things that were the opposite of what I thought or felt in my heart. I have purchased cars against my better judgment, gone out on dates, and done countless other things that went against my better judgment and been blessed beyond my wildest expectations. Could you see turning down clients not because of what they say but because of what they think or what you think they think?

Stay in your own head

What you think is none of my business. I am constantly put in position where if I want to grow I have to do things that I would normally not do. Growth happens just outside of my comfort zone. I can't grow by doing only the things that are familiar or comfortable. My impression of what you are thinking, your hesitation, may be dead on but that should not be my concern. I have to let you do you and I do me.

The Flow

I can't tell you how often I pray for something and it happens so fast it just can't be right. When I am in the flow things just happen to which I have to say yes. Today might be the day that someone is supposes to say yes to you, but them giving you consent or the "go ahead" requires that you ask the question. If you don't ask nothing happens, you abort our own possibilities by not asking or blocking the flow.

Sometimes all you really have to do is say yes to the process. Anything is possible.

Book of Sandra ~ Awed by God

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 17 May 2010 11:59:00 -0400

Chapter 10

We are all part of this vast matrix that I call God. Most of us like to think of God as a being that sits up high and looks down low. But viewed more correctly God is everywhere and in everything, not just in it, but is It as well. God is the source and substance of everything; we are literally made up of God. Unfortunately, we know this only to the degree that we are open to knowing it.

Authority Problem

A Course in Miracles said that we have an authority problem. We think that we authored God rather than God authoring us. As a result we think that what is true for us is true for God. Making God in our image we've created a God that is judgmental, unforgiving, non-accepting, and stingy. We can't perceive of a God that does not judge us because we judge ourselves and each other. We find it hard to accept that we are forgiven and accepted as we are because we have a difficult time forgiving and accepting. We think God is like us rather than aspiring to love as God loves or should I say Jesus? Most believe that Jesus smoothed out God's edgy ways; he took our lickin' so we can keep on ticking. He reconciled man to God by interceding on our behalf.

The Dare

Joseph Campbell in The Power of Myth talked about this in St Paul's letter to church which we have taken as scripture. He quoted, "For God has consigned all men to disobedience, that he may sow his mercy to all." Campbell goes on to say "You cannot be so disobedient that God's mercy will not be able to follow you, so give him a chance. "Sin bravely," he said Luther said, and see how much of God's mercy you can invoke. The great sinner is the great awakener of God to compassion." Mother Theresa said that "God loves a sinner," after a brief pause she added, "They tend to be more interesting people." We all need to awaken to a level of compassion for one another.

You have been blessed with intelligent freewill it is an attribute of God that He instilled in each of us. To be in the image and likeness means that we have the same abilities to make choices. God does not violate your ability to choose because She does not contradict Herself. But you are admonished to make your choices wisely because you are not punished for your sins but rather by them, karmic law says you get what you give in direct proportion.

We have placed God in the box of our understanding for far too long, we pretend as if we know what is unknowable. Once you think you know, know that It is beyond that, and beyond even that. Limiting your perception of God, limits your experience of God make room for transcendence. Expect to be awed.

This Week on Thrive

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Sun, 16 May 2010 00:20:00 -0400

I had a great show the other day, I love when I have a guest that comes in and is really open to digging deep to have a good interview. Richelle Taylor wrote a book called "Discovering Who You Really Are." I'm excited about her sharing her journey about self discovery as a Black lesbian who journeys within and starts a wonderful love affair with herself. Check it out and I'll give an update when I read a bit further.

Book of Sandra ~ The Proposal

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Sat, 15 May 2010 23:21:00 -0400

The Trigger

I read a posting the other day about a young woman who had been offered $6,000 to marry a foreigner so that he could stay in this country, you know get his visa extended and eventually get a green card. She posted it for a friend who was trying to decide whether to take the proposal or not. Quite a few people responded to the posting but I was surprised by the reasoning.

Let's set aside the fact that our country is at war and there are people trying to come here some with ill intentions. Those we like to believe are few and far between. There are many people who would love to come to this country in hopes of building a better life. I find no fault in the desire to expand one's horizons.

I have met and dated foreign born men frequently both here in this country and when I attended a school for foreigners in Siena Italy. To be courted by men of different cultures is truly an interesting experience but that's not what we're talking about here. In the example shared there is a woman who is the mother of five children who is attending college and having some financially difficulties. She was approached by a foreigner with the aforementioned proposal.

Most of the postings complained about the amount of money being offered by this man to marry this family. Here's my problem. I find it offensive to think that this woman he is willing to marry is not worth dating or wooing. Not to sound condescending but how difficult can it be to actually date a woman who is having financial difficulties and five children, help me out. Sure it takes time, can be extremely frustrating and but so too can marriage. Court her and her children pay a bill, fix a bicycle, buy some McDonald's and rent a DVD on occasion and show that you can get with her program. Then the she and the kids may say let's do this because they see the benefit of having this man around, not because of $6,000 that is likely to be gone by the end of the first month. How insulting!

The Request

Here's what he is asking instead; I need you to live a lie with me for at least two years. We'll have to lie to the kids and make them believe that we're in a relationship because heaven forbid they give us away. Can you imagine INS interviewing the children only to be told by the talkative one that "oh he comes by and takes pictures of everything so he can pass the quiz." You'll have to lie to all your family and friends so they won't give you away because INS investigates these things. You might as well sign your kids up for the "my mommy's a liar club so I don't respect her club."

Life Lessons

I find the archetypes that Jung talks about fascinating, he says that we all have to grow through these life lessons. Most don't realize that life deals us a series of archetypal events so that we can consciously choose who we desire to be. So do we step up, step down or lay down? There is the Prostitute that deals with the sale or negotiation of your integrity or your spirit. We all have a price but whom or what dictates your price? Add to that the fact that she's a mother and therefore a package deal what's the family worth. There are always consequences to our actions, you guys, we need to shift this paradigm.

We are in the midst of a crisis of consciousness; we are failing our youth. If we don't make the shift soon all of our instinctive humanity will be sucked away. I know it probably sounds a tad bit dramatic but don't you think we ought to get a little dramatic? It's preferable to the continuing complacency that has plagued our community. The thought I had was of us drowning in shallow waters but on Mary Hartman (was it?) somebody drowned in a bowl of soup, are we going out like that? Are we still as adults dumbing-down so the irreverent loud mouths feel comfortable to set the tone? We rejected "moral values" for being too stoic for our casual society. We disengaged from family values when the Presidential candidate turned joke Dan Quayle started talking about it. So now where are we?

About Face

What's needed is not a new catch phrase or committee to reestablish human/self worth, its individual commitment to our future. This revolution of values must protect our freedom without diminishing our spirit. There is nothing but a lack of vision to prevent us from reordering our priorities. We must not allow small hearted, short sighted misguided people to drag us down this dark corridor of self hatred and spiritual bankruptcy. In our arrogance we think that we have chosen this path and protect it as if cutthroat individualism is the goal.

We need to have an all-out sustained effort to do an about face. We have to learn to love our neighbors as ourselves. Self love dictates that we treat ourselves as if we recognize our own inherent value and do what is good and nurturing. We treat others with that same value and respect as well. I love the quote from A Course in Miracles that says:

"When you meet anyone, remember it is a holy encounter. As you see him, you will see yourself. As you treat him, you will treat yourself. As you think of him you will think of yourself. Never forget this, for in him you will find yourself or lose yourself."

We are all connected and together we shall rise or fall, the responsibility for that is each of ours. We are affected by what others say and think and should therefore recognize that others are affected by your choice to step up or lay down. Do you have the spiritual fortitude to offset negativity? If not, make commitment to your own healing and maturation. Figure out what it means to love you and do that. What does it mean to protect yourself and do that. Once you do it for yourself doing it for another will be easier.

Let's get busy.

Book of Sandra - Take Aim

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 May 2010 13:35:00 -0400

A Work in Progress

This may not make a lot of sense to you but it does to me. I'm working on me and my ability to express what I have in my head. When I'm up on stage I have no problem talking. I can see faces and grasp when others are getting it and when they are not. On the page I realize that working to get something on this screen and press the publish button.

I want to be able to take an idea and write as much as I can as clearly as I can before moving on to the next point. As I do this blog hopefully I'm getting better at explaining things. I'm breathing new life back into my vocabulary and taking the thoughts that I have and stretching them out for your consideration and mine. If you're reading this thank you, if you ask me questions or make comments that would help.

I just posted a blog on effects. So let me tell you a quick little story. I was on radio for 12 years and had a call in show. The station wasn't that sophisticated so rather than have an 8 - 12 second delay where they could edit or beep out unsuitable stuff, it just went right out on air. To make matters worse because my show was late in the evening I didn't always have a tech in the booth to answer the phone line and screen the calls. I often answered a ringing line with "hello you're on the air." Yes, a disaster waiting to happen.

Gloria the Grim Reaper

Anyway one day I got a call from Gloria, she called periodically to other shows I'd heard her before and thought she had a pretty dark personality. She introduced herself and asked "are you going to hang up on me?" "No Gloria, I'm not going to hang up on you. What's on your mind?" Gloria proceeded to criticize me and my show, she couldn't understand why they let me on the air, called me a liar and told me I was "so heavenly minded I was no earthly good." I let her talk about me and when she was done I thanked her for the call and hung up. I hadn't argued, debated, or showed any resistance I just listened & prayed "God help me determine what's helpful here and what is her trying to be hurtful." I wanted to hear.

When I finally hung up I felt like I was grappling for words, I tried to pick up where I'd left off but I felt I was still flopping in the wind. Then the calls started to come in, listeners reassuring me that she was just some spinster looking to get a rise out of me. Every caller until my show ended and afterward called to say how much they loved and appreciated my show. Her words still haunt me to this day but they don't stop me from talking.

Months later she did the same thing to another host, I really should have called Stephonia after it happened but I didn't she had a good support system, I thought. The next week I listened purposefully to see if she was going to say anything about Gloria's call but there was a guest host on. The following two weeks she had guest host and she never came back on air at that station again. For some reason criticism seems to have more of an impact on people than praise does. We carry with us the judgments that people make. They lay seemingly dormant in the back of our minds and can trigger defensive reactions if we're not conscious of them.

Fingerprints

Every event has a fingerprint. If you were held back a grade in school you always feel secretly inadequate and over compensate today. There are incidents that you will always remember and that will affect your current reactions no matter how trivial it may seem. Some people never get over being chosen last. Forgiveness is key to letting go or at least loosening the grip that the past has on your present. I hope Gloria continued to listen to my show so she's not angry anymore. God bless our teachers in whatever form they show up in. amen

Book of Sandra

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Wed, 12 May 2010 12:49:00 -0400

Chapter 9 ~ Blind Sided

Have you watched The Blind Side with Sandra Bullock? I've enjoyed her as an actress and appreciated the strong mother archetype she played in the movie it was heartening. This movie illustrated and reminded us of the complexity of persona. Who we are today is a summation of all that has happened before; our past experiences color how we see ourselves and the world.

The Blind Side was about a teenager whose mother was a drug addict, his father whom he didn't recall meeting had committed suicide by jumping off a bridge. He'd been snatched from his mother and put into foster care, lost contact with his siblings, and was eventually homeless until taken in by Sandra Bullock and her family. That family helped him get his life together and the family was blessed in the process too.

We'd like to think that as we move forward in life that our past falls away with each new step we take never to be heard from again. I've heard rap lyrics that say "it's not where you're from it's where you're at" that matters, put more accurately it's both.

Tabula Rasa

We come into this world hopefully as blank tablets, if you've ever watched a baby you know they come with their own little personalities and dispositions unique to them. As they develop their family and environment effects who they will become. We are in a constant state of becoming. Every second of our lives is recorded in our energy and impacts the next moment as we move forward. We have a tendency to think that only the big things have resonance but it is the small seemingly mundane instances too.

A friend of mine said that she wished that people would talk about the people who weren't adversely affected by their trauma. I said to her "there is no such thing as trauma without affects." We have those that are in denial and those that are aware, but everything has a fingerprint. Call it what you like side effects, issues, residuals, idiosyncrasies, behaviors or any host of other coping mechanisms. I explained to her how I thought I was fine and dealing well with my having been raped. So much so that I got a job working for the local rape crisis center and went out talking about it. It dawned on me one day as I listened to the other women that I did a lot of what other victims do, my not acknowledging it didn't change anything. I needed to heal so that I could make conscious choices so I got into therapy.

Side Effects

Reactions to the events of our lives vary from person to person and can be much more pronounced in some more so than others. Suicide or cutting is on one extreme and projected at oneself on the other end is withdrawal and passive aggressive behaviors. How we respond depends on many factors like age, duration, relationship, personality and so much more. We grow up in houses with parents that fall anywhere between being holy rollers and strict to having parents that lie, cheat, steal and fight. We carry the effects of those behaviors as well.

We are each a culmination of our past experiences. We tote our past along with us where ever we go. You can choose to be conscious or aware of your issues and what triggers a reaction or you can choose to stay unaware. Being conscious is a much more powerful space to be in because at least you know why you do or think what you do and make a choice to choose again. Remember you're not alone you're not the first to experience whatever has happened in your life. Do a search to find out how others cope or get professional help.

I'd like to hear from you, what has happened in your life that had an adverse effect? How does it affect you today?

Book of Sandra

sandra@sandrasaidit.com (Anonymous) — Mon, 10 May 2010 14:18:00 -0400

Chapter 8

I had told my sister on Saturday that I was not going back out of the house until Monday unless somebody comes to pick me up. It was ugly outside and I just wanted to hang out with some movies and sip on tea. As I was sitting there writing I got the sudden urge to take a shower and get cute. So I popped into the shower and started doing my hair because I was might have some company. While I was in the process the phone rang and a friend of mine insisting that I go to a basketball watch party.

I try my best to be obedient when I get an impulses, its how we develop our intuitive ability. When you can be trusted to follow the guidance of spirit you get more guidance. I said yes because I knew I was suppose to go, this while seemingly insignificant was the reason for my getting cute. He picked me up moments later because I still was not trying to drive and we made our way out to her home.

The exit ramp was pretty long and we were riding behind a van that had 3 or 4 bumper stickers. The one that caught my eye said "God doesn't believe in Atheists." I rejected the idea almost immediately but said nothing to my friend. We were discussing where the nearest KFC was to grab some chicken. He broached the subject.

He asked "did you know that Paul was an Atheist?" Paul was a mutual friend that often showed up at these gathering. "Yep," I said simply noting the incredulous tone in his voice. "I can't believe that" he said "he seems adamant, talking about if there was a God why would he let all this horrific stuff happen without intervention. I can't believe you knew and didn't say anything." "What difference does it make?" I asked him. He seemed shocked but let it go there only to bring it back up during a commercial break in the game.

All of us were friends and though we gather pretty often, religion is not normally a topic of conversation. They tossed around the difference between an Atheist and an agnostic trying to figure out which category Paul would fall into. Again I asked why does it matter? We discussed many ideas.

Knowledge of or belief in God does not mean that a person is necessarily a good person. Our churches are filled with unjust people. There are plenty of good people doing good things that don't know God. That concept did not compute for them. I said that we view the world from our own limited perception that the world had people that were not exposed to the bible and yet worked in harmony with others and nature too. How pervasive was the Judea/Christian teaching and was it the only possibility? Joseph Campbell talks about other creation stories and how religion comes out of our experience in The Power of Myth. How can we not factor in other cultures? They asked if I believed in God, which to me sounded absurd. Of course I believe in God but not one that exist in the box of my understanding.

I mentioned that when Jesus was asked what was the greatest commandment? Jesus said that to love God with all your heart and soul and the second is "like it" to love thy neighbor as thyself. Because we demonstrate our love for God by how we act towards one another, you can't love God and not man. There are plenty of people who love and demonstrate that love that don't believe in God. There are none believers whose works fall in line with the teachings of Jesus far better than those proclaim that belief. Judge a man by his works or a tree by the fruit it bears. Our friend Paul may claim not to believe in God yet he does the work of God.

There was one line in the Stephen King movie "The Stand" that summed it up beautiful. When the old was told by the deaf/mute that he didn't believe in God, she laughed about the absurdity of that statement and said to him. "Aw baby that don't matter God believes in you." That should be enough.