Sandwich Flats

Well, What Do We Have Here?

2014-07-22T10:51:00.002-05:00

The other day, we were cleaning up the house, and I moved an old bookcase, and lo and behold, there, among the dust bunnies, paper clips, rubber bands, and a couple of pennies was this old blog!!

I scooped it up. wiped it off with a handy Clorox bleach disinfectant wipe, and voila! Good as new.

So, I cut my ear whilst I was shaving my head the other day. I was just out of the shower(which is where I shave my head) and I noticed that I had done a poor shaving job around my right ear, so I grabbed the razor and proceeded to shave the area around the top of my ear.

Now, I don't know about anyone else, but I happen to have a rather bad habit: If I have not cut myself shaving any time recently, I tend to be rather cavalier about shaving. I tend to forget the damage that the sharp, five bladed instrument I hold in my hand can do. This is precisely what happened on Sunday morning.

I was kinda casually and(way too) quickly ridding my head of some hair, and, BAM, I nicked the top of my ear. It was one of those where I saw the blood before I felt the pain of the cut. I grabbed a bit of toilet paper and put it on the wound and went about my business.

Well, the damn thing would NOT STOP BLEEDING!! I replaced the toilet paper three or four times, and after 2 and 1/2 hours, it was finally done bleeding. Crazy.

I guess it really isn't that great a story. Okay, I'll see you later.

Dramatic Tension!!!

2014-06-09T08:31:00.000-05:00

It was a dark and stormy night.

Suddenly, a shot rang out!

A woman screamed!

A screen door banged against the frame!

Lightning flashed!!

The light glinted off the blade of a knife!

A coyote howled!!

A window shattered!!

The car would not start!!

Someone turned the door handle menacingly!!

The cook dropped the dishes!!

The cat skittered across the floor!!

The children cowered in the closet!!

The killer paused at the top of the stairs!!

Thunder clapped!!

The lights went out !!

The phone line went dead!!

And I don't remember anything after that.....

On The New York Rangers...

2014-06-04T07:28:00.000-05:00

So, tonight the New York Rangers face off against the Los Angeles Kings in Game 1 of the Stanley Cup Final. The Rangers are in the Final for the first time since 1994, when Messier came to town and broke the 54 year hex that the Rangers seemed to be under in regards to that beautiful silver cup.
I remember that spring of 1994 very well. The Rangers beat the Islanders in the first round, which was awfully sweet, as Islander fans had always been the loudest screamers of "1940"(the last time the Rangers had hoisted Lord Stanley's Cup). Then they beat the Capitals. Then they met the Devils in the Eastern Conference Finals, a series in which they fell behind 3 games to 2 with a Game 6 to be played in Jersey. This, of course, led to Messier's Guarantee that they would win Game 6, and return to the Garden for a Game 7. And man, oh man, did Messier ever deliver on that promise.

This led to Game 7, of course. A game that the Rangers were leading 1-0 until the Devils tied it with 7.7 seconds to go. 7.7 seconds. I can tell you this, I, for one, was sure that this was the curse rearing its' ugly head again. All of messier's Game 6 heroics had vanished. As a Rangers fan, I was sure that they were now going to lose this game. Until they didn't:

My favorite memory of that game)besides the game winning goal), was my Dad announcing that he could no longer take this, and taking the dog for a walk between the overtimes. Thankfully, he did return.

I watched most of the Finals that year while driving solo across country. I did miss being able to watch the games with my Dad. When I was a little kid, it seems that the Rangers played every Sunday night, and I remember watching those Sunday night games with my Dad. Now, for all I know, it only happened once, but it certainly stuck with me.
I watched Game 7 of the 1994 Stanley Cup Finals in Denver, Colorado, with my friends Jack Nolan and Jon Rosen (also my then-girlfriend/now-wife's cousin). Jon was working at the bar at the time. The moment the Game ended, I went and called my dad on the pay phone(remember those?) and we celebrated a bit over the phone.
Well, shit...I'm a lot older now than I was then. My Dad passed away in 2007, so if the Rangers can beat the heavily favored Kings and hoist that Cup, I won't be able to call him and talk about it. That's a bummer.

Well, I don't really know what the point of this post is, except that the Rangers are in the Finals, I am ridiculously excited about it, and I miss terribly the man who introduced me to hockey and to loving the New York Rangers.

LET'S GO RANGERS!!!!!

It's That Time of Year Again!! (Wanna See Your Name Shaved Into My Head?)

2014-01-15T09:54:00.001-05:00

Once again, I am raising money for the St. Baldrick's foundation by agreeing to have my head shaved.

Here is the EXTRA incentive this year: If I reach my goal of $3,500.00, the person with the highest donation will get to choose what initials, name, logo I get shaved into my head. Now, I do have a job, so we will need to keep things g-rated.

If you are willing and able to donate, here is where you can go and do so:

http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/663651/2014

The link has been acting un-link-like at times, so you may need to copy and paste into your browser.I apologize for that inconvenience.

Thanks in advance for your generosity.

Um...Hi...My Name Is Paticus...

2014-01-10T11:10:00.000-05:00

And, um....This is my blog. I guess I have let it go to the dogs a bit, haven't I? Oops.

First off, I guess I owe you all a Happy Memorial Day, Happy 4th of July, Happy Arbor Day, Happy Halloween, Happy Labor Day, Happy Thanksgiving(Canadian & American), Happy Hanukkah, Merry Christmas, Happy Kwanzaa, And Happy New Year !!
Also, Happy Birthday to those who celebrated since March 29th.

I really wish that I had some great, dramatic explanation for why I have not blogged in just short of a year, but I don't. I'm just a lazy sack of shit.

Some stuff did happen- I participated in my first Fantasy Football League- Came in a respectable 4th.

We got a new kitty, goes by the name of T. Jedward(the T stands for Tennessee). Here's a coupla pictures:

He's a pretty good guy. We got him because some asshole threw him out of a moving car and he ended up at the vet where we take our dog.

I did find a weird lump in my armpit in November and had it removed last month. Turned out to be a lypoma. Which to me sounds bad, but is not. So that was a good thing. Scar is healing up nicely.

My girls are growing up fantastically. I think they get their brains from their Mom, because they are both VERY smart.

I don't know that I have a lot more to report, but I'm gonna try to blog some more...I think I might even bring back my Lyric and Movie Quote Games...That okay with youse guys?

The Story of Easter(aka Bunnies With Psychedelic Eyeballs)

2013-03-29T09:49:00.001-05:00

And here is the Easter Origin Story from the Sandwich Flats Vaults:

I hope everybody is having a nice Easter, and for those of you who do not celebrate Easter, I hope you are having a good day of thinking about why you have chosen to go straight to hell...I'm kidding, I'm kidding

Today is Easter Sunday, the day that Catholics and Christians alike celebrate Jesus driving the bunnies out of Ireland...Of course you all know that the colorfully decorated or "dyed" eggs that we hide from the children as a fun and loud and messy game nowadays all started as a method for Jesus to rid Ireland of bunnies, as the bunnies were ruining the potato crop, and knocking over whiskey bottles and pints of Guinness, those furry, twitchy nosed little bastards !! Sorry, I lost my head there for a moment...But where was I ? Oh yes, Jesus driving the bunnies out with colorfully dyed eggs....It's a little known fact that bunnies eyes work as prisms...Light enters their iris', and just refracts all over the god-damned place, it's like rabbits are continually tripping on one of those"'psychedelic drugs" that those smelly bearded types are so fond of, you know the ones I'm talking about...But Jesus figured out that if you scattered brightly decorated eggs all over Ireland, the bunnies would see them, and the overdose of refracted light would temporarily stun the bunnies, and then they could be stuffed in sacks to be thrown into the River Shannon, and then families gathered at the river Shannon to scoop out the sacks as they floated by and all of Ireland had boiled(of course) rabbit for dinner...

So that's the story of the first Easter...Of course nowadays it's all about jelly beans and chocolate and we gather the eggs from the fields rather than the stunned bunnies, and there is some sort of vague religious celebration attached to it, but it all started with renegade bunnies, and a hippie taking advantage of their psychedelic eyeballs...Happy Easter everyone !!!

Stuff

2013-03-13T10:22:00.001-05:00

How is everybody?
I'm doing alright, thanks. I want to thank you for the kind words on the loss of our cat, Fenwick. He was a good guy, and he is sorely missed. I did neglect to mention that he is named after Kevin Bacon's character in Diner, so store that away if you are ever at a Fenwick the cat trivia night at your local watering hole.

What else can I tell you?

Oh, I look like this now.

Like last year, I raised money for St. Baldrick's (they are working to cure childhood cancer) by agreeing to shave my head. In order to up my donations, I also agreed to shave my beard and mustache(which I have not done since October 2000- for a Halloween costume, I was Velma from Scooby Doo), and eventually, also my legs. I raised $2,900.00, so that's not too shabby. You can still donate to my page, so if anyone is so inclined: http://www.stbaldricks.org/participants/mypage/582551/2013

My daughters are Daisys, so I have also been knee deep in Girl Scout cookies, as My Special Lady is the Cookie Mom for the troop. It is both a good and bad thing that one can buy a box of Girl Scout cookies whenever one wants.

Don't really have a lot else to say. Digging "The Walking Dead" and "Justified", awaiting "Game of Thrones' and "Mad Men". Listening to a bunch of Izzy Stradlin music.

How's about youse guys? Hope you're all doing well. I'll leave with a tune from Izzy's first post GnR album, Izzy Stradlin & the Ju Ju Hounds.

Fenwick T. Cat- 1/31/1995-2/26/2013

2013-02-27T15:05:00.000-05:00

Yesterday afternoon we said goodbye to our friend and cat of 18 years, Fenwick.

I remember when we first got him, we could hold him easily in one hand. He actually hid behind the toilet in our apartment for two days when we first brought him home. He was the product of a show Himalayan's dalliance with some alley cat. He was the runt of his litter...And he was our Fenwick.

He was such a sweet natured boy. We brought a second cat into the family, didn't ruffle him a bit. Brought twin babies into the family 7 years ago, didn't ruffle him a bit. Recently brought a dog into the family, didn't ruffle him a bit. He just didn't let things bother him.

He was a bit of a fraidy cat, I suppose. He had a tendency to hide out a bit if new folks came to the house, but I always thought that was pretty smart on his part. If they were sleeping at our house, he would usually sneak out and inspect them while they slept. He would eventually warm up, if someone was there for a few days.He did avoid our daughters for the first couple of years, but he knew that patience would pay off, once they were old enough to lavish affection on him.

He was an indoor cat through and through. Once when he was a year old maybe, a friend of ours left the door to our apartment open for about a half an hour. Fenwick got out, but he was discovered sitting right outside the door under a bench. he had not gone anywhere.

I will miss his fluffy fur and his purring. I'll miss him taking the occasional nap on me, and I will even miss his LOUD announcement that he was hungry every morning at 6 A.M. when I would emerge from our bedroom. I sure missed it this morning. The silence hit me like a ton of bricks.

Farewell, Fenwick. I hope you enjoyed being in our lives as much as we enjoyed having you here.

Say hello to Phil and Arlo for me. Reast in peace, my boy.

Let's Step Into the WayBack Machine....

2013-01-22T08:21:00.000-05:00

Back to the days of HBO's "Video Jukebox"...Does anyone remember that? It was a half hour video show that was on HBO back in the early '80's.
Before Cablevision of North Jersey added this thing called Music Television(MTV for short, I think it was called), this was this fat little kid from New Jersey's lifeline for music videos.
This was also a time when HBO used to show short films in between movies, which introduced me to the genius of "Hardware Wars" and Closet cases of The Nerd Kind", but that is a post for another day.
Now, you may be wondering why I all of a sudden have early '80's HBO on my brain...Well, I'll tell you. Yesterday, my brain remembered a song, and wanted to hear it, so I sought it out, and it is a song that I distinctly remember first hearing(and seeing, of course) on HBO's Video Jukebox. What song was it? It was "Pilot of the Airwaves" by Charlie Dore, of course. Wanna hear(see) it?
Here it is:

Um...Hi.

2013-01-09T09:58:00.003-05:00

Wow, has it really been 4 months since I posted?

I had no idea it had been that long. Oh well. Happy New Year, and all that jazz.

As you may have guessed, I am not dead. Sorry to disappoint. I'm still here, I guess i just went on some sort of blog hiatus(blogiatus?) that I didn't necessarily plan.

So, I am here to tell you that I am back! Energized, and rarin' to blog!!!

Okay, not really. Well, I am back, I hope. And I plan to return to blogging, but I would hesitate to say I am energized and rarin' to blog. But, I did come back here,and log in and click on "New Post", so I guess that must mean something.

I've been listening to a lot of Neil Young, and that has been a very good thing. Watching a whole lot of "Portlandia".

Just found out that John Cusack doesn't like "Better off Dead"...That made me a little sad.

Alright, I best go, but I will try and be in touch tomorrow.

Did I Tell You About the Time That Brian Jones Shot Me In The Face 5 Times?(AKA Dream Journal Entry 245367898657 AKA Happy Birthday to Me)

2012-09-11T09:48:00.002-05:00

So, I'm 42 now, and my dream world ended my birthday with a bang(literally).

The dream started out with me sitting in this very swanky office waiting room, and there was a guy in a shiny suit rocking back and forth in is chair, having a very LOUD conversation on his bluetooth about "Adventure Time"(a little aside, I LOVES me some Adventure Time, I think there's a post in the future about it). I must have not been hiding my displeasure at hearing his conversation, because he looked over at me, reached into his pocket, and threw me me a small plastic device.

I turned it over in my hand and saw a large button in the center labeled MUTE. I pointed the device at him and pressed the button...Voila! I did not hear his conversation anymore. He smiled and gave me the thumbs up.

Scene change to me sitting in some club, and chatting with some folks, having a grand old time. Suddenly, I notice that Brian Jones(of the Rolling Stones) is standing in front of me, talking to a guy in one of those oversized pimp hats. Brian was wearing one of those coats that kinda looks like fur, kinda looks like feathers...You know the kind I'm talking about. Anyway, he looks over at me and smiles. I smile back. I don't think anything of the fact that he died 40 something years ago.

Then, he pulls out this very tiny gun and proceeds to fire it at me repeatedly, hitting me in the face 5 times, and then hitting me in the ass another five times as I scrambled to get away. As I scrambled, I realized that there was nobody around me anymore, which was good, as nobody else was hit by the very small bullets being fired out of the very small gun by the Rolling Stones' Brian Jones.

I ended up being shot 5 times in the cheek on m y face, and 5 times in my butt cheek. I decided I needed to find a bathroom, so I could assess the damage to my beautiful, beautiful face.

I walked around a corner, and I entered what looked like a large kitchen, but a home kitchen, not a commercial kitchen. It had a very sterile, almost hospital feel, and was sorta washed out by blueish white lights. There was a line of people, and I could tell that was the line for the bathroom. All the people in line were young and sexy, or all the things I am not, and I could feel them silently mocking me. The people directly in front of me in line turned to look at me in disdain, and this is when I fixed them with a stare, and spit the five bullets that were apparently rattling around my mouth into my hand. I could tell they were duly impressed, and I knew that my status in the bathroom line had changed forever.

Cut to My Special Lady and I standing outside our car, and she inspecting my face, telling me I should go to the doctor. I said that was my plan for the day. I climbed in the car and drove away.

Then, I woke up.

And He Shall Be Levon....

2012-08-30T09:24:00.002-05:00

So, I did something that I did not think I would ever do...In fact, something I pretty much swore I would never do...We got a dog.

My Special Lady and I had always been on the same page about this, but recently there have been events that caused us to believe having a dog in the house would be a good thing. We started to quietly look into it, because we were not one hundred percent sure how the girls would feel about it, and we wanted as little whining or constant questions as possible.

Then, out of the blue, the girls ask if we can get a dog for their birthday. This was a good sign( and it also gave us an opportunity to be SUPERFANTASTICBESTPARENTSEVER!! while doing something we were planning to do anyway- win/win).

I'll spare all you the minute details, but my wife saw a dog on the humane society website that was 2 years old, and she liked the idea of a slightly older dog. I was not sold on it, but I didn't argue too much. We met Delilah on a Friday, and she came home with us.

The big complication to getting a dog was our 17 1/2 year old cat, Fenwick. He is a great cat, not even slightly aggressive, so as long as we could get a dog that would leave him alone, we figured it would not be fine.Plus, they had tested Delilah with cats, and she seemed fine.

Well, she wasn't. My wife had a couple of incidents between Delilah and Fenwick that indicated Delilah did not like Fenwick very much. We were contemplating what to do about it, when I decided that I needed to see how they would interact. we had Fenwick in the back room with a baby gate up. I went into the room with him, and My Special Lady brought Delilah up to the gate. Delilah saw him and stopped dead in her tracks, tensed up and STARED at Fenwick( "locked in" was a phrase they used at the Humane Society to describe what the do not want when a dog sees a cat...This felt like "LOCKED IN" to me). It definitely seemed like she saw a little grey fuzzy meal. We decided to bring her back.She will be a great dog for someone without cats.

Then they told us a bout an 8 month old lab/retriever mix that might work for us. the lady who was fostering him offered to bring him over to the house so he could meet the kids and we could see what the cat and he thought of each other.

She brought him over, and we all liked him pretty immediately. After he had been there a bit, we decided to bring out the cat. He sniffed at the cat, the cat hissed, but neither showed any aggression towards each other, so that was good. We slept on it, and decided that this was our dog. We had to wait a few days to complete the adoption from the Humane Society, but last Tuesday, we brought home Levon(The name has a combination of influences: the Elton John song, a tribute to great Band drummer/vocalist Levon Helm,and the fact that the dog's name was Levi, which we didn't love, and Levon would be an easy transition). here he is:

He was born a pauper to a pawn on a Christmas day.He shall be a good dog.

I have to admit, I have grown very fond of this dog much faster than I expected. He's a goofy, smiley little punk, and I'm glad he has joined our family.

Name That Lyric: Episode 276

2012-08-03T13:52:00.002-05:00

We have a winner from last week!! the lovely and talented c2 correctly identified

" I got a little change in my pocket going jing-a-ling-a-ling.
Wanna call you on the telephone baby, give you a ring"

from "Keep Your Hands To Yourself" by the Georgia Satellites. Brava, c2, brava!! Onto this week's clue:

"There's a band out on the highway,
they're high-steppin' into town"

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

What Movie Is This From? Episode 288

2012-07-31T10:34:00.003-05:00

We have no winner from last week! Nobody recognized

Hey, girl, this ain't a bullfight!

from "Barbershop". Onto this week's clue, a movie from 2008:

Well, well, well. If it isn't Mr. Bullshit and Dr. I'm-full-of-shit.

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

Name That Lyric: Episode 275

2012-07-27T07:23:00.002-05:00

We have no winner from last week. Nobody recognized

He's for every one of us
Stand for every one of us

from "Flash" by Queen!! Onto this week's clue:

" I got a little change in my pocket going jing-a-ling-a-ling.
Wanna call you on the telephone baby, give you a ring"

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

Name That Lyric:Episode 274

2012-07-20T07:29:00.005-05:00

We have a winner from last round!!!! The lovely and talented *jaime correctly identified

Looking like a train wreck
Wearing too much makeup
The burden that you carry
Is more than one soul could ever bear

from "Save it For A Rainy Day" by The Jayhawks! Brava, *jaime, brava!!! Onto this week's clue:

He's for every one of us
Stand for every one of us

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

What Movie Is This From? Episode 287

2012-07-17T11:56:00.001-05:00

We have no winner from last week!! Nobody recognized

If you wanna get rid of a circus girl, all you've gotta do is close your eyes.

from "One From The Heart". Onto this week's clue, a movie from 2002:

Hey, girl, this ain't a bullfight!

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

Dream Journal Entry: Of Toothpick Tattoos

2012-07-16T10:36:00.003-05:00

Now, a lot of the specific detail of this dream wafted away when I opened my eyes, but not all of it.

It all started with a couple of friends of mine(girls I have known since at least high school) deciding that they were going to give me a tattoo. They did(on my shoulder), and they did the work with toothpicks. Apparently, it worked very well, as many people in the dream had good things to say about it.

Here's the thing about this dream...I never got to see the tattoo, and nobody would describe it to me.I kept trying to see it, and something or other would happen, and I wouldn't see it. Same thing with anyone telling me what it looked like. I would ask someone to describe it,and then they would be called away, or someone would come up and interrupt.

This dream went on for what seemed like a long time, and I was never able to see the tattoo.

I do remember being much braver than I imagine I would be if I ever actually got a tattoo, especially with the fact that it was being done with toothpicks.

I also remember being involved in some sort of t-shirt sale at this old timey record store. They sold 45s, cassettes, 8 tracks, and reel to reel tapes and stuff like that. I think the t-shirts were of my tattoo, for some reason, so I of course never got a good look at the t-shirts, but they were selling like hotcakes!!

Very strange, very strange indeed.

25 Years...

2012-07-12T06:54:00.002-05:00

Yep...25 years ago, I officially had my doors blown off...My first Grateful Dead show at Giants Stadium in East Rutherford, New Jersey with good old Bob Dylan. And I don't think I have ever been the same. I'm pretty sure that's a good thing.

I wrote about this show before, please check it out here. This was the day I was shown the light(in the strangest of places, cuz I looked at it right).

I saw better shows after this one, but this one will always have a very special place in this now older hippie's heart. what's that? You would like a chance to see most of thst show? Why, you're in luck, here is a youtubed video!!

It contains all but the first 3 tunes of the boys' two sets. It does not have the Dylan & the Dead portion.

Give it a watch/listen...Or don't. Don't much care...I'm gonna, and I'm gonna smile, smile smile the whole damn time!!!!

What Movie Is This From? Episode 286

2012-07-10T08:27:00.001-05:00

We have no winner from last...Um...The last time we played this game! Nobody recognized

I got a thing about chickens.

from "Angel Heart". Onto this week's clue, a movie from 1982:

If you wanna get rid of a circus girl, all you've gotta do is close your eyes.

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

What Movie Is This From? Episode 285

2012-06-19T09:10:00.003-05:00

We have no winner from last week!! Nobody recognized

I'd hate to be you if I were me.

from "Barfly". Oh, well, let's have a drink anyway. To all my friends!!!! Onto this week's clue, a movie from 1987:

I got a thing about chickens.

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

Name That Lyric: Episode 273

2012-06-15T08:11:00.003-05:00

We have no winner from last round!! Nobody recognized

Against the door he leans and starts a scene,
And his tears fall and burn the garden green

from "Castles Made of Sand" by Jimi Hendrix. Onto this week's clue:

Looking like a train wreck
Wearing too much makeup
The burden that you carry
Is more than one soul could ever bear

Good luck, Dillweeds!!

What's With All These New-Fangled Contraptions?

2012-06-14T07:53:00.000-05:00

Is there an old-fangled? Or are things simply fangled or new-fangled?

I don't really have a point with any of this(SURPRISE!!), I just really like the words new-fangled and contraption. Not sure why, just very fond of those words. No big whoop, you know?

I'm listening to the Jayhawks right now. I really like the Jayhawks, in case you were wondering. I am talking about the band, by7 the way, not the University of Kansas sports teams mascot. of

You know what? I think they should change the word mascot to mascoteer. It sounds more cheerful and uplifting, like saying "Necronomicon" instead of "Book of Laws of the Dead".

I bought a new grill, and I hooked up some speakers to it, so I can play some really annoying music from it, and I'm calling it Grillex.

I liked "The Avengers"... "Puny God"...heh-heh-heh.

Oh yeah, Happy Flag Day. Kiss a flag today, folks. Show 'em you care.

Well, that's my time, I best go. Keep your feet on the ground,and keep reaching for the stars.

Oh, and here's a coupla tunes from "Father John Misty" who I am kinda diggin' lately.

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2012-06-13T13:42:00.000-05:00

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What Movie is This From? Episode 284

2012-06-12T09:24:00.003-05:00

We have no winner from last week! Nobody recognized

She had the personality of a ZIP code in Kansas

from "Bowfinger". Onto this week's clue, a movie from 1987:

I'd hate to be you if I were me.

Good luck, Dillweeds!!