Sandy's Motherhood Blog

I Have No Bodily Functions

2012-01-30T22:31:00.000-05:00

When my stepdaughter was a young gymnast, her coach very sternly told the team that they were to take care of all bodily functions – using the bathroom, getting a drink of water, blowing their nose – before going out on the gym floor. Once you’re on the floor, he told them, “you have no bodily functions.” Naturally, they asked him, “But Patrick, you’re always on the floor. When do you do those

The Seven Stages of Crying

2012-01-25T09:47:00.000-05:00

You’re probably familiar with Elisabeth Kubler-Ross’ theory of the seven stages of grief. Her theory states that someone who suffers a loss goes through seven different states of mind during the grieving process: shock, denial, bargaining, guilt, anger, depression, and finally, acceptance. I have discovered that a crying baby goes through seven very similar stages. This theory occurred to me

How Do You Know?

2012-01-24T12:02:00.000-05:00

I post on a message board frequented by women of all ages and all backgrounds, and it’s always fascinating to me how such different people often have such similar concerns and problems. One of the topics that comes up on a regular basis is how to know when you’re ready to make a major life change, like getting married, changing jobs, or having a baby. Just today another poster was sharing her

We Are Sick, We Are Sick, We Are Sick Sick Sick

2012-01-23T15:40:00.002-05:00

As a mom, I am finding that there is one thing worse than having sick kids: having sick kids and being sick yourself. Taking care of a tired, cranky, whiny, snotty-nosed child is never fun, but it’s even less fun when you’re tired, cranky, whiny, and snotty-nosed yourself. And today, that is exactly what the two kids and I all are: tired, cranky, whiny, and snotty-nosed. My son Ryan started off

Llama, Llama, Snotty Drama

2012-01-20T13:30:00.000-05:00

In typical two-year-old fashion, my son is a complete drama llama. When he doesn’t get his way, he sobs. When he can’t find a particular toy, he sobs. When it’s time for a nap, he sobs. When it’s time to put away his toys and sit down for dinner, he sobs. If my husband or I scolds him, he throws himself to the floor and – you guessed it – he sobs. The sobs are mainly a put-on (or at least an

My Bucket List

2012-01-19T17:36:00.000-05:00

A few years ago, when the movie “The Bucket List” came out, it was all the rage for people to write up their own bucket lists of everything they want to do before they die. For some reason, I never did. And maybe it’s my mother’s and brother-in-law's recent deaths making me realize my own mortality, or perhaps it’s the knowledge that my family is now complete, or maybe it’s just looking around

First and Second

2012-01-18T14:35:00.000-05:00

I am the younger of two siblings and my husband is the oldest of three, so I find it interesting that we often approach our own children’s sibling relationships differently. I also find it interesting looking at my children’s sibling relationship from a parental perspective. I can definitely see advantages and disadvantages for both the older and the younger child. When my son was a baby, I

Little Ones and Laundry

2012-01-17T14:20:00.000-05:00

Having two small children, naturally our household generates a lot of laundry. Ryan usually ends up with part of at least one meal on his shirt, dirt or mud on the hem of his pants, grass stains on his knees, and various and sundry dust bunnies all over. Katie always has a crescent of formula dribbles at her neck, and now that she’s crawling she’s picking up a few dust bunnies and a bit of carpet

And the Award Goes to...

2012-01-16T16:03:00.000-05:00

Last night I watched the Golden Globe Awards. I hadn’t seen many of the movies or even the television shows that were nominated, I didn’t recognize quite a few of the actors and actresses on the red carpet, and I didn’t really care who won most of the awards. So why did I bother watching? Why, for the fashions, of course. I love checking out what the various actresses are wearing, how they

In the Middle of the Night

2012-01-13T09:13:00.000-05:00

I woke up at 3:00 this morning to the sound of happy cooing from the crib next to my bed. Katie had woken up, but instead of crying, she was happily rolling around, playing with her feet, playing with her toys, and sucking on her hand. She kept herself entertained for an hour or so before realizing she was hungry and demanding that I get up and make her a bottle. And of course, after finishing

If It's Broke, Fix It

2012-01-11T09:33:00.000-05:00

In typical 2-year-old fashion, my son breaks his toys on a regular basis. Sometimes he breaks them through a combination of enthusiasm and klutziness, but most of the time, he breaks them because he’s trying to explore how they work or what they do. For example, he has a Matchbox motorcycle with handlebars that swing back and forth, and he regularly pops off the handlebars while trying to see

She Ain't Heavy...Oh Wait, Yes She Is

2012-01-10T10:28:00.000-05:00

When my son Ryan was born, he weighed in at a hefty 9 pounds, 4 ounces. And he grew exponentially from there. At ten weeks old, he already weighed 20 pounds. The forms we got from the pediatrician at every appointment listing his height and weight gave up on calling him “100th percentile” and admitted he was “>100th percentile”. He was just a big ol’ chunk-a-monk from the very beginning. Ryan at

All By Myself

2012-01-09T12:52:00.000-05:00

It’s official: Ryan has discovered the word (and the concept) “myself”. As in, “Mama! I get out of the car all by myself!” Or, “Mama! I make a tower all by myself.” As if he weren’t already Mr. Independence, the magic of “myself” has surely cemented it. His independence also means an added degree of my independence. Now that he knows how to take off his own clothes (mostly), when we come home

My Personal Parakeet

2012-01-05T09:01:00.000-05:00

When I was a little girl, my grandparents had a pet parakeet named Parker. I was fascinated by the fact that he could talk, but I was even more fascinated that he sounded just like my grandmother when he did. He would say, “I love you, Parky Metaaaaahf” with exactly the same accent and inflection that my grandmother used when she said it to him. Now that I have a child who can talk, I find that

What's This? What's This?

2012-01-04T18:07:00.000-05:00

I have yet to reach the “Why?” stage with my 2-year-old son Ryan, but I can tell that it’s on its way, because the stage he has reached is the “What’s this?” stage, with its substage, the “What’s that noise?” stage. Luckily, I am rewarded by his then walking around the house announcing to himself what everything is, so at least I know he’s listening to the answers I give him. The other night he

Most Last Firsts

2012-01-03T11:54:00.000-05:00

When I got married, I thought about all the “firsts” I’d now experienced for the last time. I’d had my last first date, my last first kiss, my last first impression of a potential significant other. And now that my husband and I have decided that our family is complete, I’m going through my last firsts with my children. Even though Katie is not quite 5 months old, I’ve already had some last

2011: The Year That Was

2011-12-31T09:14:00.000-05:00

As we close in on the final hours left in the year 2011, I can’t help but look back on everything that’s happened this year. Most notably, my mom passed away and my daughter was born. But so many other wonderful (and also sad) things happened, too. Some of them I can’t help remembering, and some of them I’d already forgotten. But looking back over my blogs, my Facebook postings, and my

The Immaculate Conception and the Not-So-Immaculate Rest of the Story

2011-12-25T20:31:00.000-05:00

After a Christmas Day that began with a glorious sunrise and a peacefully sleeping baby, ended with a major diaper blowout, and had an hour-long screaming baby session in an enclosed space somewhere in the middle, it occurs to me that the latter half of my day was probably closer to the original Christmas Day experience than the former. The Virgin Mary’s pregnancy with the Christ Child is

Eau Christmas Tree

2011-12-23T22:12:00.000-05:00

This morning when I came downstairs, I got a strong whiff of the beautiful, warm smell of pine. Perhaps it was because I was still half-asleep, perhaps it was because I had put a pile of festively wrapped gifts under the tree last night, or perhaps it was because Christmas Day is nearly here, but whatever the reason, I was immediately transported back to the Christmas mornings of my childhood.

Pre-Christmas Detritus: The Best Present of All

2011-12-22T13:20:00.000-05:00

In this day and age of online ordering, the days before Christmas must be a nightmare for garbage collectors and recycling truck workers. The giant cardboard shipping boxes, the long tubes from wrapping paper, the Styrofoam packing peanuts, the bubble wrap, the giant plastic bubbles that come cushioning delicate items, all ending up on the curb waiting to be taken away. All bits and pieces that

There's a Wocket in My Pocket

2011-12-19T11:02:00.000-05:00

Pockets have got to be one of the most brilliant and yet the most simple inventions of modern man, right up there with the wheel. Imagine a caveman thinking, “Well, I just threw the spear that was in one hand and the rock that was in the other, but this saber-toothed tiger is still chasing me. I sure wish I had some way to carry a couple more rocks.” [CHOMP.] Very useful things, pockets. And not

The Word of the Day

2011-12-16T08:53:00.003-05:00

I suppose this entry is more aptly entitled, “The Phrase of the Day”, or perhaps still more aptly, “The Phrase of the Few Days”. I’ve noticed over the past several weeks that Ryan is beginning to pick up new phrases and work them to death over the first day or so that he learns them, then he moves on to another. The two big phrases he’s wrapped his mind around over the past couple of days have

Oh There's No Place Like Costco for the Holidays

2011-12-14T08:56:00.000-05:00

I love Costco. I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: I LOVE Costco. It’s one of the unexpected benefits that came with my marriage. I’d been to Sam’s Club and BJ’s, and they were both fine but nothing special. But when I married Herb and inherited his Costco membership, it opened my eyes to a whole new level of warehouse shopping. Christmas is the height of Costco’s glory for me. First of

My Secret of Successful Party Hosting

2011-12-12T13:35:00.002-05:00

On Friday night, my husband and I hosted a party for the cast of the Christmas show we’ve been performing in. We had probably 40 or so guests. A number of people asked how I could manage to get ready for a big party while both performing in a show and managing two small children. I am about to share my secret of just exactly how I do it: invite the right people. Seriously, the success of our

Five Items Every Woman Should Own, "In Her 50s" Edition

2011-12-08T11:44:00.000-05:00

It was called to my attention that my previous “Five Items” post stopped with a woman in her 40s. I stopped there merely because that’s as far as I’ve gotten personally. But since that request to add a few more items, I’ve been keeping my eyes out for women in their 50s and making a note of the items that belong on their lists. So here’s my take on the next decade of fashion must-haves. Many