Santa Claus and other Christmas Controversies

Was Jesus Christ A Palestinian?

2020-03-13T03:55:00.000-07:00

The whole area during the time of Jesus and the Roman occupation was deemed “Jewish territory”, but did the inevitable expansion of the state of Israel inevitably engendered a so-called “Palestinian Jesus”?

By: Ringo Bones

Most Biblical scholars blame the 1967 Arab-Israeli War – aka the Six Day War – and the 1973 Arab-Israeli war – aka the Yom Kippur War – and the resulting inevitable territorial expansion of the state of Israel for the rise of the so-called “Palestinian Jesus”. But was Jesus Christ actually a Palestinian citizen?

Jesus came from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, given the present geopolitical situation of the region, this places Jesus’ hometown in the northern territory of Palestine. While some more conservative scholars say that a Palestinian Jesus is nothing more than a part of a larger milieu of the ongoing cultural appropriation of the history of Jesus. The same conservative “palaver” was also aimed at the so-called Gay Jesus series at Netflix. While some conservative scholars just conclude that Palestinian Jesus is nothing more than an anti-Semitic retelling of the Messiah.

But given that the last high-profile Jesus movie was accused as being too anti-Semitic – i.e. Mel Gibson’s The Passion of the Christ – which inevitably became a runaway blockbuster success back in 2004, does this mean that accusing Palestinian Jesus as anti-Semitic is rather an intellectually moot point? Maybe Jesus Christ was a lot of things to a lot of people and he said a lot of things to a lot of people while evangelicize the people of a Roman Empire occupied Galilee.

Is It Possible To Celebrate an Environmentally Friendly Christmas?

2019-12-21T09:57:00.000-08:00

Given that carbon neutral home heating methods are yet to be invented for colder climes, are their ways to lower our carbon footprint while celebrating the Yuletide Season?

By: Ringo Bones

Given the deadlock in this year’s UN COP 25 negotiations and scores of climate change denying heads-of-state had been recently elected into office, it seems that keeping our carbon footprint to a minimum when celebrating this Holiday season has become a necessity just to keep our planet livable for the next generation. Having an environmentally conscious Christmas is probably what Greta Thunberg wished for Santa this year and we can do our part too.

Using plastic disposable utensils during Christmas dinner is not only tacky it is also uglier in the landfill and puts more pressure on our fragile environment. Using natural biodegradable Christmas décor also helps in a big way and if you can keep a tree alive as a Christmas tree for a number of years, this too will put a big dent on your carbon footprint this Yuletide Season. And carbon offsetting when you come home for the Holidays – especially if your workplace requires you to take a plane ride to be home for Christmas.

Gifts should be dictated by quality and not quantity. Some of your well-heeled gift recipients this Holiday Season will probably appreciate donating to charity in their behalf given that you are probably be too poor to buy them a Learjet powered by sustainably produced jet fuel. And while eating meat can drastically increase your carbon footprint, choosing to eat one only during special occasions at least would reduce it to a manageable level.

Was Jesus Christ Gay?

2019-04-01T02:38:00.000-07:00

Even though the relationship between the LGBT community and the Church has been “less than ideal” throughout the centuries, is there any truth to the so-called “Biblical Evidence” that Jesus was gay?

By: Ringo Bones

Even though a majority of Christians around the world view the idea of Jesus Christ had a so-called romantic relationship with Mary Magdalene is the stuff of fiction that doesn’t have any Biblical evidence whatsoever, Biblical scholars have recently noted, although all of them are still reluctant of admit, that evidence of Jesus’ homosexuality was actually written down on the Holy Bible. But is there sufficient evidence for this beyond a reasonable doubt?

Given that the historically accurate Jesus Christ was likely to be akin to that of a Hebrew rabbi, since 2,000 years ago, there are no laws forbidding rabbis from marrying and having a family. Jesus being an unmarried rabbi until his crucifixion is unusual indeed. And given that the gospels clearly states that Jesus Christ had loved John the Apostle in a “special way”, the speculation that Jesus might be gay is now sounding more plausible. And during his crucifixion, only three women and one man of his closest inner circle were present at his side. That man was John the Apostle.

The man now known as St. John the Apostle clearly had a unique place in the affection of Jesus. In all classic depictions of The Last Supper – a favorite subject in Christian art, John is next to Jesus, very often is head is resting on Jesus’ breast. As Jesus lay dying on the cross, Jesus asked John to look after his mother and then asked John’s mother to “accept John as her son” – implying that John’s mother has not ,until that time, fully accepted the homosexuality of her son John or the ongoing homosexual relationship between John the Apostle and Jesus Christ. If you ask me, the gospel-based evidence of Jesus’ homosexuality is more compelling than that of 19^th Century Washington D.C. socialite Virginia Woodburry Fox’s diaries describing Abraham Lincoln’s secret homosexual tryst.

Did Jesus Christ Spend The Rest Of His Days In Japan?

2018-01-08T03:23:00.000-08:00

Assuming that the accounts of him surviving his crucifixion are true, did Jesus Christ live out the rest of his days in some remote hamlet in Japan?

By: Ringo Bones

Although unsubstantiated tales of Jesus Christ surviving the crucifixion and living out the rest of his days in either the South of France and / or present-day Austria are the most popular, tales about Jesus living out the rest of his days in some remote mountain hamlet in Northern Japan – though relatively unknown – seems to have gained scholarly credibility in recent years. The tales of the so-called “Japanese Jesus” or “Ninja Jesus” turning mountain spring water directly into sake have nonetheless had its adherents, although of it becoming into the next popular Japanese Anime series and / or Hollywood blockbuster seems unlikely, evidence pointing to the existence of the so-called Japanese Jesus seems to hard to ignore.

The legend goes that on the flat top of a steep hill in a distant corner of Northern Japan lies the tomb of an itinerant shepherd who two millennia ago, settled down there to grow garlic. He fell in love with a farmer’s daughter named Miyuko and fathered three kids and died at a ripe old age of 106. In the mountain hamlet of Shingo, he’s remembered by the name Daitenku Taro Jurai – the rest of the world knows him as Jesus Christ.

A bucolic backwater with only one Christian resident – an elderly man named Toshiko Sato, who was 77 years old when Smithsonian Magazine contributor Franz Lidz last visited him during the spring of 2012 – and no Christian church within 30 miles, the remote Japanese hamlet of Shingo nevertheless bills itself as Kirisuto no Sato (Christ’s Hometown). Every year 20,000 or so pilgrims and pagans visit the site, which is maintained by a nearby yogurt factory. Some visitors shell-out the 100-yen entrance fee at the Legend of Christ Museum – a trove of religious relics that sells everything from Jesus coasters to coffee mugs. Some participate in the so-called Springtime Christian Festival, which is a mash-up of multidenominational rites in which kimono-clad women dance around the twin graves and chant a three-line litany in an unknown language. The ceremony, designed to console the spirit of Jesus, has been staged by the local tourism bureau since 1964.

If all of this were supported by historical facts, then the so-called “Japanese Jesus” site could be one of the safest of the so-called “Holy-Land Tour” destinations tours given that Jerusalem has been hard to get into by the casual “Jesus Tourist” since the establishment of the State of the Israel and the resulting conflict with the local Palestinians. And the recent Syrian Civil War has since denied access to the other Syrian holy sites frequented by Jesus and his disciples during their heyday not to mention Turkish holy-land sites are getting increasing hard to get to by the casual “Jesus Tourist”, it seems that the remote Japanese hamlet of Shingo is the safest holy-land tour destination at present.

Did Jesus Christ Spend Time In A Shaolin Temple In Mainland China?

2017-12-03T06:23:00.002-08:00

A number of abstracts were published back in the mid to late 1980s on the subject but is there any proof that Jesus Christ spent time in a Shaolin Temple in Mainland China during his so-called “lost years”?

By: Ringo Bones

Though a number of seemly credible evidence did suggest that Jesus Christ – or more precisely Saint Essa – as he is more commonly known in this region, show that he may have spent time touring across India in search of enlightenment during his so-called “Lost Years”, bits of evidence were also discovered revealing that Jesus Christ did spent time in a Shaolin Temple – not only to learn some martial arts like Kung Fu, Qi Gong, etc., but also the requisite skills to purportedly survive a violent Roman Empire era crucifixion. But are such evidence really credible or to be taken with a grain of salt so to speak.

When Mainland China started to open up to western tourism – i.e. around the time when the pop group Wham (George Michael and company) – were allowed to perform in their arenas, various articles – including pictures – started being published in the Sunday supplements of major newspapers as “archeology” news. Although this has since died down after the notorious Tiananmen Square Massacre incident of June 4, 1989, many have since wondered if Jesus Christ really did spent time in a Mainland Chinese Shaolin Temple. After all, it is a martial arts movie that writes itself whether in the hands of Hollywood or Hong Kong movie producers – i.e. Shaolin Jesus / Kung Fu Jesus.

Even though it has been downplayed during the airing of the series back in the mid 1970s, scriptwriters did manage to “suggest” that the particular Shaolin Temple in the TV series Kung Fu that stars David Carradine was also visited by Jesus Christ during his so-called “Lost Years”. Maybe the subject needs to be investigated further given that the Beijing government has since become friendlier to western tourism.

Did Jesus Christ Went To Kashmir?

2016-11-20T01:23:00.001-08:00

Professional historians might have laughed at the notion years ago but is there growing and credible evidence that Jesus not only went there but was also buried in Kashmir, India?

By: Ringo Bones

Maybe “touristy Jesus Freaks” should blame the Israeli government’s ongoing tensions with the Palestinians for making their prime Israeli Jesus tourism sites in Jerusalem about as difficult to visit to the casual tourist as Moscow is during the early 1980s. And the ongoing conflict in Syria due to the so-called Islamic State also placed some Jesus tourism sites in Syria now out of reach of the casual tourist. Given these problems, are there other “alternative Jesus tourist sites out there”? Maybe, Jesus tourists should check out a rumored Jesus Christ tomb in Kashmir, India.

In the backstreets of downtown Srinagar is an old building known as the Rozabal shrine. It is part of the city where the Indian security forces are on regular patrol, or peering out from behind check-posts made of sandbags. The security situation has recently improved in this Indian administered part of Kashmir and thus the tourism has returned once again in what is more famously known as the Venice of the East. But recent Lonely Planet travel catalogues has listed Rozabal Shrine as the actual tomb of Jesus Christ.

Officially, Rozabal Shrine is the burial site of Youza Asaph, a medieval Muslim preacher – but a growing number of people believe that it is in fact the tomb of Jesus of Nazareth. Since the 1980s, many “New Age Christians”, like the US based Christian sect known as the Church Universal and Triumphant, believe that Jesus survived the crucifixion almost 2,000 Easters ago, and went to live out his days in Kashmir. The rumor that Rozabal Shrine might have something to do with Jesus of Nazareth lends credence in Islam, in which Jesus is the penultimate prophet and a minority tradition adopted by the controversial Muslim Ahmadiyya sect, that Rozabal does contain the grave of Jesus Christ.

Should There Be A Fixed Date For Easter Sunday?

2016-03-26T02:58:00.000-07:00

Given that it is one of the most important holidays of the year and all of Christendom, should there be a fixed date on when should Easter Sunday should be observed on the calendar?

By: Ringo Bones

It must have been very awkward back in 2014 when Easter fell on the 20^th of April which made for a very awkward Easter Sunday celebration. Not only because April 20 have been set aside for the celebration of 420 – i.e. the global movement for the legalization of marijuana not only for medical use but also for recreational use as well and there had been recently unearthed evidences that Jesus Christ used marijuana, but also because April 20 his Adolf Hitler’s birthday which gave a whole new meaning of the “comical euphemism” - Jesus Hitler Christ. Thankfully to the relief of more “conservative Christians” plans are in motion to set aside a fixed date for Easter Sunday and it is safe to bet that it will not be one of “awkward days” between the months of March and April.

The current Archbishop of Canterbury, Justin Welby, had been in talk with various leaders of the different Christian sects around the world and the preliminary agreement of the talks suggests that most of them are in favor of a fixed date for Easter Sunday. The only group opposed to the proposal of a fixed date for Easter Sunday was the top brass of the Coptic Orthodox Church. But according to the Archbishop of Canterbury, the final decision to establish a fixed date for Easter Sunday will probably happen 5 to 10 years from now. But why is it that the celebration of Easter Sunday doesn’t have a fixed date?

During the early days of the Christian church prior to the reign of Pope Victor I (189 – 198 AD), the Western Churches, as a rule, kept Easter on the first day of the week in the beginning of Springtime, while many of the Eastern Churches conforming to the Jewish rule of celebrating Passover, observed Easter on the 14^th day of the Jewish month of Nisan. Through the energetic efforts of Pope Victor I, the latter practice gradually disappeared. But another problem came to the fore: granted that Easter was to be kept on Sunday, how was that Sunday to be determined?

The Council of Nicaea in 325 AD paved the way fro the final settlement by ruling that Easter is to be observed by all on the same Sunday, that this must be the Sunday following the 14^th day of the paschal moon, and that moon was to be accounted whose 14^th day followed the vernal equinox. Because of the differences in the systems of chronology followed in various places, however, the decrees of Nicaea did not immediately remove all difficulties nor win universal acceptance. The Gregorian correction by Pope Gregory XIII of the Julian calendar then in use in 1582, moreover, introduced still further discrepancies.

Throughout Western, Christendom the corrected calendar is now universally accepted and Easter is solemnized on the first Sunday after the full moon following the vernal equinox as first suggested by an English monk named Venerable Bede back in the year 700, with the result that the earliest possible date for Easter is March 22 and the latest is April 25. In the East, however, the calendar has not been bought into accord with the Gregorian reform and thus their observance of Easter seldom coincides with the Western date. In recent years, laudable endeavors have been made to fix the date of Easter, but definite results are still awaited. Let’s just hope that the current Archbishop of Canterbury Justin Welby succeeds and his name will be immortalized together with the Venerable Bede.

Does Christmas Lights Slow Down Your Wi-Fi’s Speed?

2015-11-30T23:28:00.000-08:00

Though there are a number of probable reasons from an electrical and electronic engineers’ perspective, but can Christmas lights actually slow down your home Wi-Fi’s speed?

By: Ringo Bones

At the time of writing, America’s right-leaning Evangelicals has yet to call this latest study as a conspiracy by the telecommunications industry to launch a “war against Christmas”, but a lot of people find it disconcerting that the most de rigueur indicator of the Yuletide Season – Christmas lights or as the Brits call them fairy lights – can actually slow down the speed of your home Wi-Fi. Worse still, quite a number of us now use broadband technology to stay connected with our loved ones through the internet and the Yuletide Season is one of the peak seasons of the year for such activities and a Wi-Fi slowdown is the last thing we need.

In a recent research study results released by watchdog Ofcom, Christmas tree lights / fairy lights can actually slow down your Wi-Fi’s data transfer speed and the results were in conjunction with the new app that they recently released that can check the “health” of your home broadband. The app samples Wi-Fi’s wireless signals to see if the data is flowing uninterrupted from routers to smart-phones and tablets. The app is released alongside research results, which suggests Wi-Fi in six million homes and offices participating in the Ofcom study were not running as fast as it should.

According to the study, what causes the slowdown is the interference caused by the solid state power supplies used in modern electronics that are not transformer isolated from mains which forms the power supplies of most modern LED based Christmas lights / fairy lights that also power the electronics that makes them blink and the “singing chip”. Radio frequency emissions from baby monitors and microwave ovens can also significantly slow down Wi-Fi data transfer speeds said Ofcom in a statement.

Did Jesus Christ Went To Britain?

2015-03-31T03:58:00.000-07:00

Even though it is often referred to his “lost years”, did Jesus Christ traveled to Britain during when he was 12 to 30 years of age?

By: Ringo Bones

Though the evidence may be only hagiographical, but certain non-canonical accounts of early Christianity purportedly claimed that Jesus Christ indeed traveled to Britain during the time when he was between the ages of 12 to 30, which was often referred to as “the lost years of Jesus Christ”. But is this mere hagiography or this historicism can be proven with contemporary archaeology.

When what is now the State of Israel was under Roman occupation a little over 2,000 years ago, Nazareth is not a mere backwater town, guilds of various trades traveled there to sell their goods and services and some of them were purportedly to come as far away as the then Roman Empire occupied Britain. Although Jesus was probably already a practicing carpenter by the time when he was 12 years old, he probably supplemented his income by delving into the most traded items of the time – namely metals trading.

Jesus’ great uncle at the time – which canonical texts cite to as Joseph of Arimathea was a well-known bronze trader and was probably has contact with tin traders from Cornwall, England. Although the historicism of this anecdote is somewhat flimsy, legend has it that Jesus Christ indeed travelled to Cornwall and even Glastonbury to “haggle” with the tin traders there in order to get a good price for tin. And by the way, 2,000 years ago, Cornwall and Glastonbury are well-known tin mining towns.

The historicism behind Jesus Christ visiting Britain was first written down by William of Malmesbury – a well-known 12^th Century English historian and used to head the Glastonbury Abbey. William of Malmesbury even wrote down that Jesus Christ learned esoteric healing arts from the Druids of Glastonbury at the time.

Is there any actual evidence that Jesus Christ went to Britain? Well, many mainstram historians cite William of Malmesbury’s account as just a means of gaining donations for the local abbey and thus often dismissed a mere hagiographical whimsy. Hagiographical whimsy or not, the legend that Jesus Christ may have visited Britain during his “lost years” was probably the historicism used by King Henry VIII to established his “self-styled” Church of England in 1534.

Was Jesus Christ A Communist?

2015-03-31T03:27:00.000-07:00

Even though “conservative right-wingers” may balk at the idea, but did the historical figure named Jesus Christ ever harbored Marxist-Leninist-socialist tendencies?

By: Ringo Bones

Growing up in the 1980s, I first suspected that the reason behind the “CIA sanctioned” assassination of the El Salvador Archbishop Oscar Romero back in March 24, 1980 was because he “had turned commie. But given the prevailing staunchly anti-communist environment of the capitalist West at that time, how could “conservative-right-wingers” and “strict observant Christians” like the then US President Ronald Reagan never voiced out that Jesus Christ might be communist?

Well, to the headache of the then leader of the Catholic Church – Pope John Paul II – the rise of what is so-called “Liberation Theology” where Christian charity is somewhat indistinguishably merged with Marxist-Leninist-Socialism for the benefit of the needy was often white-washed by the press and only those with I.Q.s approaching Carl Sagan at the time could figure out that Jesus Christ was an outright communist, or at least laid the groundwork of communism almost 2,000 years before Karl Marx and Friedrich Engels. The question now is why the then Republican Senator Joseph McCarthy and then FBI head J. Edgar Hoover even included Jesus Christ in their communist blacklist back in the 1950s? Does this mean at that time in the capitalist West that Jesus – like Islam in the Arab world for the past 70 years – is “hands off” when it comes to government censorship?

Well, when it all comes down to it, helping the least of your brothers – whether Marx and Engels style or in the name of Jesus Christ – can be a contentious issue in the eyes of secular humanist intellectuals who probably aid the least of their brothers out of sheer mercy alone. It seems that the debate whether for all intents and purposes Jesus Christ was a communist – or is the true founder of communism - will not die out anytime soon.

Santa Winter Games: Santa Claus Olympics?

2014-12-10T04:15:00.001-08:00

Even though the sporting event is barely over a decade in existence, has the Santa Winter Games “improved” the image of the global Santa Claus Industry?

By: Ringo Bones

First started in 2003, the Santa Winter Games has more or less served to improve the “athletic” aspects of being the designated Santa Claus during the Holiday Season. As it has been seen as a “friendly athletic competition” between Santa Claus impersonators from all over the world, the Santa Winter Games has more or less served to improve the apparent “athleticism” of a Yuletide character originally envisioned by Thomas Nast to boost the morale of then U.S. President Abraham Lincoln’s Union troops during the American Civil War. But does the world need another “Santa Claus Convention”?

Maybe it should have been called the World Santa Claus Olympics given that chimney climbing event has been seen by the event’s loyal spectators as the be-all-end-all of the Santa Winter Games. On the bright side, the past winners of the event had been an eclectic mix of every Santa Claus from all over the world. Recent winners include the 2010 Santa Winter Games champion Santa Camilo Romero Correa from Colombia. Not to mention 2011 winner, Sana Stefan Veronde from Holland and 2013 winner Santa Banana from Hong Kong who works as a professional magician during the rest of the year.

The 2014 Santa Winter Games was held last November 22 in the mining town of Gällivare in the Swedish section of Lapland. The 2014 Santa Winter Games winner was a Japanese Santa Claus named Santa Yamashita, second place was Santa Sunny from Hong Kong and the third place winner was Santa Glenn Swift from Australia, while the people’s choice winner was Santa Jim from The People’s Republic of China. The Santa Winter Games has more-or-less added athletic meritocracy to the category on evaluating who is the world’s best Santa Claus impersonator.

Did Jesus Christ Smoke Marijuana?

2014-02-25T01:47:00.001-08:00

Though it is still a subject that Giorgio A. Tsoukalos and the rest of the Ancient Aliens probably still won’t tough even with a 10-foot pole, is there any credence to the “rumors” that Jesus of Nazareth's marijuana use?

By: Ringo Bones

The implication that Jesus of Nazareth might have used marijuana probably started on that 1988 move The Last Temptation of Christ where John the Baptists’ “band of hippy followers” seem to appear to be strung out on marijuana – and don’t forget that since the years after Bob Marley’s June 7, 1980 Crystal Palace Water Contert, it seems that every self-styled Rastafarian “high-priest” who’s ever been to that iconic concert date had since made sacrosance that John the Baptist was one of the founding fathers of Rastafarianism and did indeed taught Jesus Christ to use marijuana besides the banks of the Jordan River in preparation of the “Baptism” of the iconic Nazarene over 2,000 years ago.

Though the popularity of The Last Temptation of Christ was primarily due to iconic actor Robert De Niro turing down the role of Jesus Christ (a role that eventually went to Willem Dafoe) in which in an interview, De Niro jokingly said “Jesus didn’t speak with a Brooklyn accent”, it seems that this move is the primary “evidence” oft used to imply that Jesus Christ smoked marijuana. But is is the only oft used proof to lend the credence that Jesus of Nazareth used cannablis? Well, it does make for a very interesting World 440 celebration this 2014.

Ever since the legalization of medical marijuana in some parts of the United States and some more liberal parts of the rest of the world, many “medical marijuana experts” cite as proof the healing effects of marijuana the apparent “miraculous” resurrection of Jesus Christ after the Crucifixion – not to mention the serious physical castigation under Pontius Pilate's and the top Jewish Pharisee’s orders done before the Crucifixion.

Was Jesus Christ From Outer Space?

2014-02-25T01:14:00.000-08:00

Besides the insistent ramblings of Ancient Aliens regular Giorgio A. Tsoukalos about the extraterrestrial origins of Ancient Greek and Roman theology, is there credence that Jesus of Nazareth is an extraterrestrial?

By:Ringo Bones

Ancient Aliens regular Giorgio A . Tsoukalos insistent ramblings about the “extraterrestrial origins” of Ancient Greek and Roman belief systems could probably fill a 30-volume encyclopedia sized series of books – or even more – is there any credence to the implication that Jesus Christ of Nazareth came from outer space? After all, a comedy skit on the first season Christmas / Holiday episode of That 70s Show "implying" that Jesus Christ had extraterrestrial origins seems a tad believable like that of the “ancient astronaut theories” of Erich von Däniken, but is it all just “liberal intellectual hogwash”?

Though it is quite strange that leading proponents of the “Ancient Astronaut Theory” often imply that Ancient Greek, Roman and other pre-Abrahamic belief systems in the Persian Gulf region probably has extraterrestrial origins as they are “probably” bequeathed to us by extraterrestrial beings with technological ability of interstellar travel, they only imply in the vaguest of terms that Jesus of Nazareth is a product of extraterrestrial in-vitro fertilization on some reasonably attractive 14-year-old Palestinian girl 2,000 years ago. But the argument provided by Ancient Astronaut Theorists seems more plausible – as it seems – from writings left by Abrahamic prophets probably strung out on cannabis centuries ago. Well, imagine if Tsoukalos started to blame aliens / extraterrestrials for the recent "priestly paedophilia" of Catholic priest, would that particular Ancient Aliens episode be titled "Anal Probe: Anal Sex?"

Is Everyone In America Dreaming Of A White Anglo Saxon Santa Claus?

2013-12-23T04:41:00.000-08:00

It may be Fox News’ agenda du jour this Yuletide Season, but does everyone in the United States currently dreaming of a white Anglo Saxon Santa Claus?

By: Ringo Bones

Maybe Fox News’ Megyn Kelly has been pissed off since seeing that African American Santa Claus in that 1987 music video Christmas in Hollis by Run DMC, but does Megyn Kelly really have an erudite case for keeping the traditional Santa Claus a white Anglo Saxon (and preferably a Protestant) one? Sadly, history as we know it is not on Megyn Kelly’s side.

Back in the darkest days of the American Civil War, the Commander-in-Chief of the American Union Forces – as in the then US President Abraham Lincoln – literally drafted Santa Claus via a famed Harper’s Weekly political cartoonist named Thomas Nast as a morale booster for the Union troops back in 1863. Given that President Lincoln also “emancipated” slaves of black African descent - shouldn’t African Americans also deserve the privilege to play the part of the traditional Santa Claus during the Yuletide Season?

And what about the Klingon Santa Claus - Or the openly gay Santa Claus that’s born out of the increasingly politically correct decade of the 1990s? What does Fox News’ Megyn Kelly think about them? Maybe it is about as improbably as her white Anglo Saxon Protestant American Jesus Christ that she prays to.

Child Advocates’ Beef Over Santa Claus Military Jet Escort: Groundless?

2013-12-10T06:12:00.000-08:00

Maybe it is their ignorance of the actual origins of Santa Claus but are the child advocates’ beef over military jets escorting Santa Claus’ reindeer on the latest NORAD tracking animation groundless?

By: Ringo Bones

It may be just a coincidence that the present incarnation of Santa Claus makes him appear to be a version of Ibn Battuta with supernatural powers but in actuality, Santa has military origins and had began life as a morale booster for the then US President Abraham Lincoln’s Union troops at the height of the American Civil War. Political cartoonist Thomas Nast was originally commissioned by Lincoln to create a cartoon that could boost the morale of the Union soldiers caught in the quagmire of the frontlines of the American Civil War.

Given that for all intents and purposes Santa Claus is an American Civil War veteran – the only one left in fact that’s still doing goodwill missions on an annual basis, a military jet escort is just par of the course. A NORAD spokesperson said in a press conference that the military jet escort on this year’s Santa Claus circumpolar tracking animation was meant to give it an “operational feel”, it seems that child advocate groups appalled by the over-militarization of Santa Claus might be clueless on the American Civil War origins of Santa Claus. And before NORAD’s Cheyenne Mountain complex was even built, the United States Air force were probably escorting Santa’s reindeer sleigh with F-86 Sabers during the mid 1950s – back when the Saber was the most advanced military jet in the USAF arsenal. By the way, NORAD had been tracking Santa Claus during the past 59 years.

Santa Phobia: An Endemic Problem During the Yuletide Season?

2012-12-07T05:38:00.000-08:00

It’s Christmastime once again, but have you ever noticed why some toddlers are inexplicably afraid of the mall Santa Claus?

By: Ringo Bones

If you haven’t witnessed kids under 7 years of age who are totally inexplicably afraid of Santa Claus – or his Yuletide Season shopping mall impersonator – you probably live in a place where celebrating the Western “capitalist commercialized” version of Christmas is outlawed. In my experience – I think it’s as frequent as 1 in 4 kids under 7 years of age are inexplicably afraid of Santa Claus - or someone dressed as the traditional Western/Christian Santa Claus – as in “Mall Santas”. Is there any logical explanation for this inexplicable childhood phobia?

Even though an overwhelming number of these kids tend to outgrow their “Santa Phobia” by age 8, it might have something to do with humanity’s innate “Freudian” defense mechanism to avoid “stranger-danger”. As in children are instinctually preprogrammed to view grown-up strangers – especially one with an overflowing white beard and dressed like a Central Asian Sufi Muslim cleric suddenly appearing during that time of the year where days get shorter and the mercury in the thermometer goes way down with a certain wariness.

But most parents view this explanation as “academic bunkum” because to them – they believe that Santa Claus is based on a Christian saint named Saint Nicholas who appears every Christmastime to remind everyone to be a little more generous with their gift-giving. Thus, most parents just keep on insisting to place their hysterically fearful kids into a mall Santa’s lap while they go shop for some item they don’t necessarily need. Although, if “Sana Phobia” persists even when the kids are at 12 years of age, it might be a sign of a far more serious neurosis and they may need professional help.

Was Santa Claus An American Civil War Veteran?

2012-12-06T05:43:00.000-08:00

Even though mainstream historians had been very, very reluctant to mention this trivial factoid despite of the evidence, do you know that Santa Claus was an American Civil War veteran?

By: Ringo Bones

Despite of the overwhelming evidence of his service during the American Civil War, many tenured mainstream historians are still very, very reluctant to admit that Santa Claus served in the American Civil War in the Union side and is therefore a bona fide U.S. Civil War veteran. And believe-it-or-not, it is because of mid 19^th Century era political cartoonist by the name of Thomas Nast who got Santa Claus “drafted” into the Union Army.

Political cartoonist Thomas Nast, who is also famous for illustrating the donkey that became the “mascot” of the U.S. Democratic Party, first illustrated Santa Claus at the height of the American Civil War during Nast’s tenure as a full time staff artist for Harper's Weekly magazine. Santa Claus’ original raison d’être was a “recruiter” for the Union Army. Near the end of the American Civil War, then U.S. President Abraham Lincoln and supreme commander of the Union Army characterized Nast as the North’s “best recruiting agent” due to his Santa Claus illustrations on Harper's Weekly.

Even though at present Santa’s costume now consisted of a red coat and a red elfin cap with white fur trimmings, when Thomas Nast first illustrated Santa during the height of the American Civil War, Santa’s costume, though still consisted of a coat and an elfin cap, were back then sported a color scheme modeled after the Union flag. Even though Santa Claus served under the Union’s side, I find it quite surprising that former Confederate states in the United State’s “Deep South” never seem to have very public misgivings about Santa Claus every time the Yuletide Season comes around.

Buyers Remors And Monstrous Credit Card Bills: Over-Commercialized Christmas?

2012-01-03T01:43:00.000-08:00

Buyers remorse maybe one thing, but dealing with monstrous credit card bills may be a sure sign that Christmas in the 21st Century is already over-commercialized?

By: Ringo Bones

So maybe you got very smart deals during the Black Friday shopping spree, after all you stood in line for almost 6 hours in a weather that only Soviet-era Young Octoberists would dare to endure. But did anyone notice - when 2012 secretly came - that we all had acquired a "dark passenger" in the name of buyer's remorse and monstrous credit card bills?

Christmas may had become over-commercialized since the end of World War II but its no excuse to shop for junk that we don't really need like there's no tomorrow. Capitalist consumerism didn't defeat the evil Soviet empire like Ronald Reagan have you believe. I'm just hoping that everyone has already found ways to pay off their monstrous credit card bills. Alleviating buyers remorse might be as easy as giving all your unwanted stuff to charity.

Global Warming Heating Up the Yuletide Season?

2011-12-11T00:18:00.000-08:00

If its from Madison it is definitely the good kind of global warming.

Is Pop Culture Christmas Real Christmas?

2010-12-08T00:46:00.000-08:00

Given that our pop culture driven TV and movie viewing had virtually ruled our lives for the past 60 years or so, is pop culture influenced Christmas still pass muster as real Christmas?

By: Ringo Bones

Maybe Family Guy’s Kiss Saves Santa might be too much for some people who still believe that a true-blue traditional Christmas involves celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ and a Santa Claus that accepts Jesus as his Lord and Savior. But pop culture had also had given us something new that revolutionized everyone’s perception of Christmas – like the Yuletide staple titled It’s a Wonderful Life and the updated versions of Charles Dickens’ Yuletide morality tale called A Christmas Carol. And given pop culture’s ongoing influence on how we celebrate Christmas, it might only be a matter of time that traditional true-blue Christmas could become indistinguishable from its kitschy over-commercialized secular humanist equivalent.

When it comes to “redefining” our idea of what is Christmas, nothing compares to the quirky pop culture world of science fiction. Maybe after seeing the Starship Voyager being transformed into a Christmas Tree decoration by that omnipotent extraterrestrial being named Q, one would wonder if humanity still celebrates some semblance of a traditional Christmas in the 24th Century - or do we still need Klingon Santa Claus to register for next year's World Santa Claus Congress. Or what about that straight-to-video sci-fi Yuletide cult classic called Star Wars Christmas Special? Nothing turns traditional Christmas on its head like Chewbacca on a one-horse open sleigh, right?

In actuality, the official title of the Star Wars Christmas Special is “Star Wars Holiday Special”. It is a story about Life Day – a Christmas analog that is traditionally celebrated in Chewbacca’s home planet in George Lucas’ Star Wars universe. At least those who will can safely hope that a variant of the true-blue traditional Christmas is - or was – celebrated long ago in a galaxy far, far away.

Probably the weirdest manifestation of a pop culture influenced quasi-Christmas holiday is the celebration of Festivus. Festivus is the supposedly non-denominational holiday invented by George Costanza’s father, Frank Costanza (played by actor Jerry Stiller) that has since celebrated every 23rd of December by Seinfeld fans. Festivus centers around a ritual object called the Festivus Pole and the “feats of strength” with the holiday slogan “Festivus for the rest of us!”

In terms of weirdness and the degree of being far removed from the celebration of traditional Christmas, Festivus and the Star Wars Christmas Special are probably the two that takes the cake. Festivus could be seen as a critique of the runaway commercialization of Christmas celebration – a statement of protest in holiday form. While the Star Wars Christmas Special or the Star Wars Holiday Special could be seen by the uninitiated as a “pitiful” attempt to meld Christmas with Halloween. At least in a secularly commercialized Christmas – there is still importance placed upon gift-giving.

The World Santa Claus Congress: Yuletide Professionalism?

2010-11-27T23:43:00.000-08:00

Held in Denmark each summer by professional Santa “impersonators” the world over, does the World Santa Claus Congress provide the much needed professionalism in the global Santa impersonation biz?

By: Ringo Bones

Eventually, every kid who pledged allegiance to Western Christianity will eventually find out that their local Santa Claus / Thomas Nast – style Saint Nicholas is just an over-glorified Yuletide Season impersonator. A fat guy disguised with a white natty beard and a big fat jolly red suit just trying to make ends meet in our increasingly globalized society. But it doesn’t always mean that every Santa Claus impersonator has to be a character of contention during the Yuletide Season.

Often frowned upon by the strictest of Christian fundamentalists as the surest sign of the runaway commercialization of an arbitrarily dated holiday supposedly set to celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ, believe it or not Santa Claus “impersonators” do have a regulatory body / commission that oversee in the maintenance of their professionalism.

For the past 43 years or so, the World Santa Claus Congress has been held every summer in Denmark where Santa Claus “impersonators” the world over went there for their annual meeting. Official Santa Claus impersonators (which probably also mean really good Santa Claus impersonators) that represent their respective countries – or countries in the world with a sizeable population that celebrate Christmas with Santa Claus – are vetted for their kid-friendliness and their in-depth knowledge on the origins and story of the traditional Western Thomas Nast – inspired Santa Claus.

Since the end of the Second World War, Japan has been celebrating Christmas big time that it has since became the biggest rival to the Christian West when it comes to celebrating a Santa – oriented Christmas. Japan’s official Santa Claus, or the officially sanctioned designated Santa Claus impersonator, has garnered accolades over the years as the “Gold Standard” of authenticity in Santa Claus impersonation. Given that the Japanese take traditions very seriously, Santa Claus more or less had become an established Japanese tradition during the Yuletide Season.

Before the Thomas Nast – style Santa Claus was embraced by the Japanese, Japan’s traditional gift-giver used to be an enchanted pig that came down from the mountains during winter time. The resemblance to the jolly bearded fat man in a jolly red suit might only be a coincidence, but the “Japanese Santa Claus” has since traditionally been served with roast pork and rice pudding – the now established traditional Japanese Christmas dinner – as opposed to the Christian West’s traditional milk and cookies treat for Santa doing his rounds. The World Santa Congress it seems not only establishes and maintains professionalism in Santa Claus impersonation but also the idiosyncrasies of various Santa Claus traditions in other parts of the world. Even those who haven't exactly pledged allegiance to Western Christianity.

How Long Should We Be Celebrating Christmas?

2009-12-23T01:08:00.000-08:00

Given the increasingly commercialized nature of contemporary Christmas Season celebrations, should there be a limit on how long we celebrate the Yuletide Season?

By: Ringo Bones

It is indeed the season for joy and giving, even though there are 365 or so other days that you can express those two requisites of ones “humanity”, but should there be an established duration on how long should we be celebrating Christmas? After all, if one grows increasingly jaded over the joy and giving that marks the Yuletide Season, there would be nothing left except kitschy commercialism.

During years of unbridled economic prosperity, the “signs” of Christmas – usually characterized by a seemingly endless supply of Yuletide kitsch – usually starts in the “ber” months like September. Maybe we should point the finger of blame on John Cougar Mellencamp for playing his iconic I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus during his September tour dates back in the late 1980s. Though I doubt if I will ever be welcomed again in our local musical instrument store who plays Yuletide tunes live for the flimsiest excuses. But does your concept / ideology of how long should Christmas be celebrated reflects your deeply cherished beliefs?

The Haight Ashbury Secular Humanist “Christian” types – I probably fell in this category, after recently succumbing into the belief that Santa Claus originates in Kyrgyzstan – and probably Muslim. And given the chance, would celebrate Christmas from September through to the end of January of next year. Although, I tend to end my Christmas celebration after the Eastern Christian Orthodox Christmas festivities end – usually the first Monday after the first Saturday of January.

The unabashed White Anglo-Saxon Protestant types – these folks usually “criticize” folks that celebrate Christmas too early – i.e. before Thanksgiving is over, or too late – i.e. folks that still has Christmas decorations set up after Boxing Day. They tend not to play Christmas music before Thanksgiving is over and will never play Yuletide tunes by December 26 onwards. It’s just hard to Just Say Noël to these people.

The Cultural Eclecticists – they often come from a mixed-faith marriage, like between a Protestant and a Jew. Often places an ornate Star of David atop their Christmas Tree while keeping their celebratory Christmas evening meals Kosher. As far as I know – basing on the ones that invite me during Christmas – they tend to celebrate Christmas from the start of December till the Eastern Orthodox Christmas festivities end – usually the first Monday after the first Saturday of January.

So there you have it, ways on how long folks of various ethnicity that I know of celebrate Christmas. I just hope that this coming 2010 will be a fiscally lavish year so that everyone who still cares can celebrate Christmas from September through February of the incoming year. Probably due to us smart shoppers who do the bulk of our Christmas shopping during the promo sale months of July and August. Just remember to buy only ethically produced products and only have ethically provided services. All of which is a whole lot better than “inventing” ones very own holiday, like that Seinfeld episode where Frank Costanza, George Costanza’s father, invented “Festivus” – i.e. Festivus for the rest of us - after getting left out of the mass commercialism of contemporary traditional Christmas.

Have Yourself a Very Ethical Christmas

2009-12-17T01:28:00.000-08:00

Given that Christmas in this day and age is primarily driven by capitalist consumerism, can this festive season still be enjoyed in an ethical manner?

By: Ringo Bones

If ever the famed American social justice crusader Michael Moore tries his hand at making a Christmas special, he might focus on the topic of ethically produced products / goods and services as the main talking point. And very topically relevant too, given that Christmas this day and age is primarily driven by capitalist consumerism. But given that materialistic concerns will not be relinquishing its stranglehold on the Yuletide Season anytime soon, can we – the capitalist consumers / Christmas Shoppers – still have the power to do good during this festive season?

Probably since the time Rock Star turned famed humanitarian Sir Bob Geldof managed to safe millions of starving Africans via the capitalist consumer’s own game, the ethical outlook of Generation-Xers had been radically changed (is it?) in comparison to their parent’s generation. The concept of “What your parents didn’t tell you.” - i.e. how the spending patterns of us capitalist consumers could to the world a whole lot of good. Unfortunately, still not everyone knows how.

Every time we step up to a cash register – or click an item on the web, or have our credit card scanned for our preferred purchase – we vote. If you want your purchases – like I hope you honestly do – reflect your principles, you should know by now on how to shop for a better world. Or had read about “Shopping for a Better World” – a publication of the Council on Economic Priorities that rates 186 companies that make 2,400 brand name products on 10 social issues; Which can be used by all of us to help us select products made by companies whose policies and products we support - like the Free Tibet movement.

So the next time we’re checking out a product for quality and price – especially this Christmas Season where we do the bulk of our materialistic gift-giving shopping – why not also check out the social performance of the company behind the product. Like on issues of corporate social responsibility, ethical business governance, child labor use, and environmental concerns; or maybe buying only products from companies who made sure that their factory workers are provided with full healthcare coverage and matching 401K plans or equivalent. Armed with this information, we can easily turn our Christmas Shopping cart or trolley into a vehicle for social change, thus allowing everyone to enjoy a very ethical and merry Christmas. Unless of course you are planning to unleash the wrath of those three Christmas spirits that used to haunt Mr. Scrooge.

Is Christmas Still Christmas Without The Snow?

2009-12-09T02:40:00.000-08:00

For those of us celebrating the Yuletide Season in much warmer climes, is Christmas still Christmas without the snow?

By: Ringo Bones

Given that most of the people on planet Earth, including most of the dry land, lies in the upper part of the northern hemisphere, it is more than likely that a significant majority of us will be celebrating the Yuletide Season with snow – i.e. White Christmas. But for those of us living in much warmer climes who still consider celebrating Christmas a big deal – thanks to our Anglo-Saxon Protestant Capitalist Consumer indoctrination – can still celebrate Christmas properly without the white stuff? (I mean snow, not cocaine hydrochloride, by the way).

I do admire brave folks out there who stick out their necks to make Christmas a more egalitarian holiday in which any person regardless of faith, color, or creed can enjoy. In which I am truly grateful for Mel Tormé and Robert Wells – two great Jewish composers who toiled in the Tin Pan Alley in order to create musical masterpieces – for bequeathing humanity that Yuletide Season perennial called White Christmas. In which Irving Berlin’s rendition that was made famous by Bing Crosby is probably the first Christmas song that doesn’t contain overt religiosity when paying homage to the Yuletide Season.

Sadly, the song White Christmas had managed to indoctrinate most of us who celebrate Christmas that Christmas without snow is not Christmas at all. Given that global warming is getting worse each passing year if we don’t drastically reduce our greenhouse gas emissions, a White Christmas could become a relic of the distant past – like a Druid religious service. But is snow really an indispensable part of celebrating Christmas?

Just because there is no snow the Nativity Scene – i.e. the traditional portrayal of the night Jesus Christ was born 2,000 or so years ago – doesn’t mean that Catholics don’t know how to appreciate a “White Christmas”. That Yuletide Season perennial White Christmas might have an inescapable metaphysical dictum on everyone when it comes to celebrating a “proper” Christmas. Luckily, there is still quite a healthy number of Yuletide Season tunes that allow you to “properly” celebrate Christmas without the snow. Unfortunately, you have to root for them because they never have been a recent part of mainstream FM’s Yuletide Music airplay list.

The Beach Boys’ Christmas Album is a testament that you can still enjoy celebrating Christmas in the warm climes of almost perpetually sunny “Califor-nah-yeah”. And Leon Redbone’s Christmas Island and Jimmy Buffett’s Christmas in the Caribbean gives you a deep philosophical insight on why those rich folks at The Hamptons vacation into the Caribbean during the Yuletide Season given that they have a perfect “White Christmas” right at their doorsteps. There are probably others out there, so you have to root them out in better independent record stores - Unless of course you’re perfectly fine with playing Islamic Devotional Music by Nusrat Fateh Ali Khan during Christmas Eve.

Did Thomas Alva Edison Invented the Modern Christmas?

2009-11-30T00:16:00.000-08:00

With his invention of the incandescent light bulb - and a myriad of other ingenious devices, did Thomas Alva Edison inadvertently invent the modern Christmas?

By: Ringo Bones

Known for his thousands of inventions, the incandescent light bulb is probably one of the most significant – if not the most significant – invention of the Wizard of Menlo Park named Thomas Alva Edison. But by inventing the incandescent light bulb, did Thomas Edison inadvertently invented the modern Christmas – i.e. the "modern look" of Christmas as we know it?

Some folks still harbor the belief that Christmas is no longer Christmas without the snow. But for those of us who experience a “White Christmas” about once every decade or so - or even less as time goes by if we can’t stop the harmful effects of global warming - Christmas isn’t Christmas without Christmas Lights. Thanks to Thomas Edison. But did Thomas Edison eventually established the look of contemporary Christmas more or less aesthetically pleasing – or is it more or less kitschy?

Have you ever tried to use burning candles or other open-flamed light sources as a substitute for those cutesy incandescent series Christmas lights? Given the flammability of a typical real Christmas Tree, using candles and other open flamed light sources in a typical natural Christmas Tree is not exactly a recipe for a happy Christmas given the fire hazard involved in this set-up.

Energy-saving light emitting diode-based Christmas Lights or LED-based Christmas Lights might be disliked by purists because it detracts the warm glow of Edison’s original incandescent light bulbs. But if you ask me, LED Christmas lights are better than lighting your Christmas Tree with candles or other open flamed light sources. Plus, given that some folks tend to set up their Christmas lights before Thanksgiving and put them away two weeks after the Russian Orthodox Christmas, electrical bills during the Yuletide Season could be significant. So LED-based Christmas Lights do make environmental sense.

Plus LED-based keeps “preventable” greenhouse gases from being released into our atmosphere to cause global warming. Keeping the prospects of a White Christmas more on less a regular annual occurrence. So there’s no need to keep playing Jimmy Buffett’s Christmas in the Caribbean album – especially the vinyl version - whenever there is no snow during the Yuletide Season. Yet another reason to thank the inventiveness of the Wizard of Menlo Park, Thomas Alva Edison – the man who made modern Christmas – or at least the modern look of contemporary Christmas - possible.