2) What movie should I watch that you think I haven’t seen?

3) What is the miracle cure I could use to ensure I am healthy in time to go to the Redskins/Broncos game on Sunday?

4) What two teams do you think are going to go to the Super Bowl this year?

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Right.

In lieu of new thoughts, I’ll just direct you to my MamaPop Top Chef recap. (And don’t forget to check later for the MamaPop roundtable. I sing some opera instead of actually answering the question. I am sneaky like that.)

There is also a strong possibility I will be back later with some questions for you. I suppose it depends on how fast and furious my cold medicine kicks in.

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Yesterday I told my neighbor I would be convinced I had seasonal affective disorder if I were sad at all.

I’m not sad.

I’m just tired. Tired and lethargic. Getting out of bed is exceptionally difficult each morning, but once I am up I am fine.

I guess I am having trouble with motivation.

I quit my job a couple of weeks ago. Then I went on vacation. When I got back I was just tired.

Or something.

So it is especially strange that after three weeks of feeling “tired”, and waking up with a throat that was so sore I could barely speak, I was suddenly motivated.

I am ready to go again.

I am back.

They used to call him “The Duke of Herb”.

As soon as I saw the Elizabeth Lambert video I knew that I would be writing about her this week. Elizabeth is the “mean girl” soccer player that was suspended for rough play this week. She is the girl who was caught on video punching another player in the back and pulling hair.

If you watch this video it looks terrible.

A lot of people were shocked and offended when they saw this clip.

But this video looks different to me.

I am not saying that this excuses her behavior. I do not think that anyone (perhaps anyone outside of WWE wresting anyway) should be pulling other people to the ground using their hair.

What I am saying is that while Elizabeth Lambert certainly overreacted and was clearly unsportmanlike, her competitors were elbowing her too. Why isn’t anyone upset about that?

And have none of us ever watched a soccer game before?

Soccer can be a tough game and it appears that’s especially true in the Mountain West Conference. Footage of the conference semifinal game in Provo, Utah – where BYU beat New Mexico 1-0 – has been making the rounds and not for any of the right reasons.

Why is it that the only time women’s sports make the nightly news is when the players cross the line? Last summer, an on-court brawl between the Detroit Shock and the Los Angeles Sparks was front page news. Now, game footage of the BYU – New Mexico match is being rerun on ESPN and major network news shows.

The two teams in question combined for what would seem like a stunning 25 fouls, however according to The Sporting Blog, that’s actually not a huge number:

“In the three games of last year’s Women’s Final Four, there were 23, 24, and 33 fouls. The shocker is that only one yellow card came out in this game, which seems wildly out of proportion to the amount of brutality in the above video.”

- Jane, Pretty Tough

See? I don’t want you to think that I approve of Lambert’s actions, but soccer is a violent sport. It is like the only things anyone knows about women’s soccer is Brandi Chastain in a sports bra and this Elizabeth Lambert debacle.

It is a fantastic image, but did anyone actually watch the game? Would anyone be freaking out if this was a men’s soccer game? I doubt it.

As usual, Laurie White says it best:

…I think a lot of times more force than necessary is used on athletic fields, but I’ve never been out there so I don’t know what it’s like. I do know that winning is a huge expectation in high stakes games and pressure drives people to crazy behavior. I’m not sure that’s always a good idea. And whereas I do believe strongly in accountability I think it’s sad that of all the things a highly competitive, talented female athlete can be known for in her collegiate career, it boils down to headlines with words like “dirty” and “violent,” and stupid, videotaped, aggressive behavior. I’m sure she can do way better. Let’s hope she does from now on, no matter who’s watching.

- Draft Day Suit

Elizabeth Lambert has been indefinitely suspended from The University of New Mexico’s athletics department and she has issued an apology.

I still think the issue is that the violence was done by a woman. This type of brutality is not at all uncommon in men’s soccer.

Soccer Hooligans are famous for rioting. I guess Americans just aren’t used to seeing this kind of thing from the ladies in their colleges. I think Elizabeth Lambert deserved to be suspended. I think she acted inappropriately, but I also think the outrage is coming from people who don’t watch soccer.

Contributing Editor Sarah also blogs at Sarah and the Goon Squad and MamaPop.

No really, make mine a double.

And if you need one of these you should talk to my friend Kristen.

At this point the best way to earn my vote is to promise to propose legislation to make all those damn automated phone calls telling me who I should vote for illegal.

Thank you for your time.

Sincerely,

Sarah, Goon Squad Sarah

ps – Stop calling my house after 8:30 PM, I have little kids. I hate you all.

Feel free to play along.

It was such a realistic dream that I can tell you exactly how many cigarettes I smoked.

Three.

I woke up feeling terrible about myself.

When will this stop?

My Mom quit smoking in 1980. It has been almost 30 years and I remain under strict instructions that whenever the doctors tell her that she is going to die (she is fine now, she has been telling us this for years) I am to bring a carton of Newports to the hospital where she will smoke them one by one.

Yes, I know you can’t smoke in hospitals anymore. I am assuming we will be able to wheel her out to the smoking section or something.

My question for you is does this ever end? How long do I have to go without a cigarette before I stop having dreams about smoking?

It has been a while since I have done anything that could get me in trouble with the law. So why, why, why do I get nervous when I have to pass through the security gates leaving the library?

It isn’t like I am stealing free books.

Just me then?