So, today was yearbook picture day at my highschool, and I just couldn’t do it.  Because my husband is a teacher as well, we have a drawer stuffed full of free Lifetouch photo packets that chronicle the last nine years of our adult existence.  Bad hair cuts, weight gain, weight loss, sensible teacher cardigans: it’s all there.  Walking into work today I was filled with doom as I thought about the next full packet of pictures (we’re talking 8×10’s) that awaited me this year.  And then… and then I got an idea. 

I scrounged up a huge, black, fake, handlebar mustache from the theatre teacher.  I politely cut in line in front of some surly teenagers.  I slipped on my sweet stache right after the photographer posed me but before she snapped the picture.  The look on her face may have been funnier than the final product.  “Don’t worry,” I said, “the yearbook advisor approved this.”  Lie.  

While I will have to wait a few weeks for my awesome packet of pictures, I did get my ID badge instantaniously.  It’s hysterical.  Am I immature?  Probably.  Will anyone think this is as funny as I do?  Probably not.  But, I think my mustache prank speaks to something deeper.  I want to create more joy in this life.  I want to chuckle more, trudge through responsibility less.  Of course, there is already much joy in my existance, but I have been making a grave mistake: I’ve been putting everything into two different spheres.  Family, cooking, Project Runway, Friday night date night – these things are “fun.”  Teaching, grad. school, bill paying – these things are “work.”  Never shall the two meet.  What a disheartening choice I’ve been making. 

I intend to make this the semster of joy.  I most likely won’t be wearing a fake mustache through most of it, but I will change my thinking and my approach.  Let’s take my weekly postings and work for CU grad. school.  I like the program, but I don’t always find joy in my weekly assignments and postings.  It can feel automatic and insincere to be told to respond to at least two other classmates: “Great idea, Jenny!  I totally understand your feelings about Dewey Decimal and the graphic novel conflict.”  Jenny, I don’t really care that much although I am sure you are a lovely person.   Rather, I will try to be more engaged, more joyous in my postings and interaction in this virtual classroom.  I won’t rush through the readings and think about what otherwise fun things I can do when I am finished.  This will be especially important once I start my field study.  There is an 80 hour internship requirement that I’ve been considering a chore – another thing to get done.  Instead, I will do my best to have fun with it and enjoy my placement.   Otherwise, I’m really just screwing myself out of goodness, aren’t I?   If jogging two miles feels like work, I will pay a few bucks to do some laps in the rec. center’s pool – fun!  

Thanks, super sweet stache.  Thanks. 

P.S. – Where will you find joy today?  Hint: you might have to make your own.

P.P.S – I do promise to post my school picture asap.

There was this one moment that I think can sum up the entire experience:  sitting down to dinner in my mom’s backyard – I was soaking wet from a swim in the lake – I realized that everything we were about to eat we found ourselves.  My husband caught the salmon the night before, the redskin potatoes were from our neighbor’s garden, and I picked all the blueberries in the blueberry crisp.  Pretty cool moment there.  It felt like everything else sort of melted away.  I think I’ll make that memory my new happy place.  So long, Tom Petty concert ‘01 and summer camp ‘87.  You’ve been replaced.

A few other highlights from the trip included watching the litter of gray fox pups that lived under our deck, looking up to see a bald eagle fly straight over my head on a morning jog, sleeeeeeping in, and kayaking until my arms were jello.  Did I mention sleeeeeping in?

Even with all that fun stuff, I am happy to be back and ready for school/work to commence.  Sure, it feels like I’m climbing right back on the crazy train again, and I know the semester might get hairy with 7 grad. credits, but it’s my kind of crazy.  CU Online helps me make this wild ride possible.  Also, one of my classes this time around is a field study where I will log 80 internship hours.  I am excited to get out there and get in the action.  After a year of functioning online and doing all this book learn’en, it’s great to know that online education can still be interactive and hands on.  Do you hear… a train whistle?  Uh oh.  Here comes the crazy train.  All aboard.  Let’s see if I can teach high school, take a full load of grad. school classes and keep my family alive.  Choo choo!

I believe that the Ouiji board really works.

I believe that we are all students and all teachers (mostly at the same time, too).

I believe that my carrot/orange bread can heal.

I believe that if I hold my breath during take-off the plane won’t crash.

I believe in love, love, love. 

This week my freshman are working on their final exams which happens to be a  This I Believe essay.  This I Believe was a weekly radio program from the 1950’s hosted by Edward R. Murrow; each week people rich and poor, famous and forgettable, urban and rural would write to the show and pour their souls out in an essay which might be read on the air.  In 2004 the project was revived by a non-profit group who asks the same question: what do you believe?  What do you know to be true? 

The beauty of this project is that everyone is a writer.  If you go to the website, you’ll see thousands of submissions from celebrities, politicians, elementary school kids, and everyone inbetween.  It’s a beautiful idea: in a world of uncertainty and indecision, reflecting on the goodness and truth that you understand completely… so powerful. 

I did it.  My freshman will do it.  I encourage you to try it out or at least check out the website.  Your finals are finshed, right?  Do you believe in summer?  A well-deserved pitcher of margaritas?  How about yourself? 

Check it out:  http://thisibelieve.org/

1)  I really, really, really want to be a librarian.  I have to guess that most people who are making a carreer change aren’t totally sure it’s the right move; I wasn’t at the start of this program.  I wondered – would I go nutty behind a desk all day after years of being in front of the classroom?  Would I be trained to talk only in a whisper for the rest of my life?  Would I start buying sensible shoes and keeping my glasses on one of those gold chains?  No way!  My classes are so dynamic and exciting!  I’ve learned so much about Web 2.0 tools and technology and all the thrilling things happening in children and young adult literature (This ain’t your momma’s Nancy Drew).  Not only am I applying all my new skills with my high school students, I am more confident than ever that I will be a cool librarian.  To be a teacher-librarian is one part book guru, one part instructional leader, and another part research/technology aficianado.  I cannot wait to score a library of my own.

2)  Apply temperance when registering.  I was a little overly ambitious this semester and took on 7 credits while working full time and parenting.  Sure, I did it; I more than survived, but it was at cost.  I’m tired, a bit fried, and still chubby.  Even though everything vital got done (homework, cooking, projects, laundry), all work and no play makes Sarah a bitch.  My daily schedule looked like this for four months:

5am: wake, crawl to shower

6am: wake up daughter, get her ready, drop her off at nanny’s by 6:45

7:15-3:30pm: force teenagers to read and write

4pm – 7:30pm:  spend time with family, cook dinner and be domestic, put kiddo to bed

8:00-10:00pm: work on grad. school / grade papers

10:01: DIE 

If I had just taken one class, I’m sure I would have fit in a lot more fun, down time and working out.  C’est la vie.  This degree may take me an extra semester or so, but I will take only one class during fall and spring semesters from here on – which is more than managable.  The whole online thing made me a little cocky, but a class is a class.  My professers weren’t playing around! 

3)  Joel McHale from NBC’s Community is my imaginary boyfriend.

4)  If you leave your nailpolish on the coffee table, your two year old will – in 60 seconds of unsuperivsion – paint her whole face and be quite pleased with herself.   Pretty. 

5)  Life is good. 

What have you learned lately? 

Peace,

Sarah

Thank goodness they let him keep the eyebrows.

In other news, while effectively procrastinating my two big papers that will end the semester, I have successfully done absolutely everything else in my life including but not limited to: laundry, grading, overdue photo albums, letter writing, cleaning the refridgerator shelves, and making a birdfeeder.  There’s nothing left to do but do the darn grad. school projects.  F%#@.  I should really just get it all done, but I’m feeling pretty over this semester.  Ok, ok, I’ll do it this weekend.  Unless…. you have anything that needs fixing?  Mending?  Kids that need babysitting?  A dog that needs washing?  No?!?!  Come on!  While I’ve been nothing by thrilled with this online degree so far, this might be the downside to virtual classrooms.  Because there is no face to face, no actual professor giving you the hairy eyeball, it is very easy to avoid the work when you aren’t in the mood.  What am I in the mood for?  Scrapbooking.  Take a look at a few of our recent family pictures.

Are you feeling a bit crazy at the end of this semester as I am?  There are about three weeks remaining in my classes, but that doesn’t mean I am home free.  No way, not yet.  My professors have saved all the big stuff for the end, and this is the big push.   Now, a non-procrastinating student would say that I’ve had all semester to work on these big culminating projects, to which I would say: put a sock in it, Square.  This is also the end of the year at the high school where I teach, so on top of big grad. school papers and projects, I have prom to chaperone, teacher appreciation dinners to attend (at least I feel appreciated – no complaining), final exams to create, graduation, parents to call – the list keeps going.  Whew.  I start feeling pooped before it even hits me, but there’s no time for wimping out!  I…must…go…on.  I can do it!  This, for many of us I imagine, is the final leg of a marathon – a long, grueling marathon.  I really hope I get a t-shirt or at least a water bottle at the end. 

So, I will not be taking summer courses this year.  There simply is not a class offered that I need.  All the library courses are ones I’ve taken already, except for the final portfolio class which I’m obviously not ready for.  I tried to sign up for a literature class as my one elective, but there isn’t one lit. section offered online this semester.  Too bad.  We will be leaving for Michigan again this June to spend over a month with free babysitters… wait!  I mean our parents, our kind, loving parents whom we adore.  Free babysitters?!  Where did that come from?  So, I am bummed that finishing my degree will be pushed back a semester, but kind of relieved to have a break.  Obviously, a person willing to take a course on campus wouldn’t be having this problem, but I am absolutely unwilling to compromise.  Summers, travel, family, my kiddo – these are the reasons I am attending online classes.  There’s no way I would be sacrificing time with my family in a traditional classroom.  So, because of my rigid view of priorities, the degree will just take a few months longer.  C’est la vie. 

Good luck finishing up the semester!  Give ‘em hell!

From you have I been absent in the spring,
When proud-pied April, dressed in all his trim,
Hath put a spirit of youth in everything,
That heavy Saturn laughed and leaped with him,
Yet nor the lays of birds, nor the sweet smell
Of different flowers in odor and in hue,
Could make me any summer's story tell,
Or from their proud lap pluck them where they grew.
Nor did I wonder at the lily's white,
Nor praise the deep vermilion in the rose;
They were but sweet, but figures of delight,
Drawn after you, you pattern of all those.
     Yet seemed it winter still, and, you away,
     As with your shadow I with these did play.

For me, I only know Spring is truly here when my freshman start reading Romeo and Juliet.  This is the changing of the seasons; this is the sign that the trees will soon start budding and the weather will turn.  I love it, too; the play never gets old.  Well… I mean, it is OLD, like 400 years old, but I never tire of it.  Perhaps I love it so because it means summer is right around the corner.  Ah, yes.  I will Shakespeare myself right into June.

Speaking of June, have you registered for classes yet?  This girl is a little stuck.  There are only a few courses offered this summer, and I have already taken all of them.  I could potentially take an extra literature class for 2 credit hours, but I could also get those two credit hours by attending a conference next fall.  A semester or a weekend?  That doesn’t seem like a tough call.  Yet, yet, yet… I don’t want to take a summer off.  I want to get this thing done.  Well, I will keep you posted.

I hear this weekend will be gorgeous!  Get outside; breathe in the springtime!  Read a little, Shakespeare, too.  It’s good for you, I promise.

I’ve also undertaken another task this week that is pretty bad-ass if I say so myself.  I’m on day two of a three day juice fast.  Yes, yesterday I wanted to eat my husband’s face off, but today is great.  As the book promised me I would, I feel lighter, more energentic, and I’m burning calories like a mo-fo.  Can I say “mo-fo” in this blog?  Oops. So, anyone who wants to drop like 5 pounds in just a few days here is the program I’m using: see image.

Anybody contemplating this should know that you will need a juicer, a blender and a fridge full of organic produce.  Oh, and, I should also add, a few days off of work.  Life can’t stop so that you can whip up a fresh spinach-kale-apple-cucumber juice.  I wish it did.  That’s why Spring Break in addition to online classes anyway are fabulous.

On a more academic note, registration is here!  Make sure you are planning for Maymester and the rest of your degree.  I am slightly bummed because I only need a few classes, but none of them are offered this summer.  I have to email my program coordinator who is pretty fabulous about getting back to me right away.  Maybe I can slip in a different elective of some sort.  Hmmm… worst case scenario is that I take a summer off and double up in the fall.

The next time you read this blog I will be cleansed and on my way to that bikini.  Now, let’s only hope that when work starts again on Monday I can keep my hands out of the office dougnuts and keep a runn’en!  Honk*Gasp*Wheeze*Choke

Stage 1: Innocence – The hero is in a stage of comfort and bliss, thinking all is right with the world.   Stage 2: Initiation – There’s a call to action and a loss of well-being.  The hero doesn’t want to leave home, but can’t remain where he/she is.   Stage 3: Chaos – Just as it sounds.  The hero must face, battle and conqueur monsters, ghosts, and angry gods both seen and unseen.  There’s no going back.   Stage 4: Resolution – The hero returns home stronger, wiser and better able to lead.  All is well. 

Perhaps I’m a bit melodramatic, but I see some connections here.  Let’s look at Sarah’s cycle. 

Stage 1:  Innocence – I can do it!  I can work full-time, be a mommy, write a blog AND take 2 grad. school classes instead of 1 this semester!  This is going to be fun.   Stage 2: Initiation – Oh crap.  No, I can’t.  Wait.  Stage 3: Chaos – No sleep, homework up the wazoo, 100’s of student essays to grade, behind on the blog, stomach flu, busted water heater and flood in living room, eating my feelings, Spring fever!!!  Stage 4: Resolution – I’m not there yet, but I know it’s coming – five weeks to be exact.  I foresee a big pitcher of margaritas and, yes, a stronger, wiser me.  All will be well.

Alright, I’m exaggerating.  Things aren’t quite that chaotic all the time, but taking two classes instead of one is more than I bargained for.  In semesters to come, I may consider going back to one class so I don’t feel so nutty.  Still, it’s worth it to kick out this degree; after this semester I will be eligible for a nice, fat raise because of my credit hours.  It should be enough to pay for that pitcher of margaritas I’ll need.  Really, it’s purely medicinal. 

On a funny note, while giving the lecture on the Hero’s Cycle and how many epic adventures still use it as a narrative structure, a kid did bring up the movie The Hangover!  It was a really funny and fitting example… I’m just glad my principal didn’t walk in for an observation, or she would have heard me saying, “Yes, Johnny.  I think a naked guy in the trunk, marrying a stripper and Mike Tyson’s tiger are all great examples of the chaos stage.”   I do love high school.

Ho hummm… la la la…. Are they gone?  Good.

When did it happen?  When did my daughter stop being a baby and turn into a little girl?  I’m sure it evolved gradually – the losing of all baby qualities, but last night it hit me hard: Audrey is a full-fledged GIRL.  She does things like saying, “No, Mama!” and then putting her own shoes on (the wrong feet).  Last night she went pee-pee in the potty for the first time and then told Nana and Papa all about it on the phone.  We finger-paint, play dress-up, put dollies to bed.  It’s absolutely the most fun I’ve ever ever had.  So why am I kind of sad?  It’s not that I want her to be a baby again.  Honestly, she was a rough newborn and infant; there were hundreds of sleepless nights and crying jags (for both of us) where the only thing that kept me alive was knowing it wouldn’t last forever.  I don’t want her to stay a baby; I don’t want her to grow up; I want her to stay exactly where she is until I’m ready for her to move on.  Wouldn’t that be fabulous?  I think I’m terrified that I will blink my eyes again, and she’ll be in braces and having me drop her off three blocks from her school so as not to be seen with me.  Boooohoooo!  Boooohoooo!  Ok, [sniffle] I’m cool.  I probably have plenty of time before she asks for tattooed eyeliner and her nipples pierced.  Let’s get to pre-school first.  I just can’t believe what a funny, smart, brave little person she is becoming, and I want to hold on to each moment, each discovery, and gobble it up.

This is the part of the blog where I force you to watch endless videos of my beautiful daughter.  Here they are.  Watch them all or die.

watch?v=cbYRgoD7fes

watch?v=ba6Na89T-xc

watch?v=yx4krHRaCVU

I must say to all the parents out there who are either enrolled or thinking about enrolling in online courses: good for you, do it.  It’s the best thing that I ever could have done.  It’s hard enough to leave the kids at a daycare while you go to work, let alone enrolling in night classes, too.  I do all my coursework online after Audrey goes to bed leaving every possible waking minute with her.  I don’t miss a thing.  There isn’t an educational option that is easier or more conducive for your family.