Sarojs Panorama

Norwegian quotes

2017-03-31T05:52:00.001-07:00

Even though I often feel the Norwegian language is sadly limited when it comes to expressions, especially in literature, I also find certain Norwegian phrases or expressions so remarkably apt in describing certain feelings that it's often hard to find a good translation in other languages.

Here are my ten favourite quotes in Norwegian:

1.Kom arbeidslyst og treng deg på, her skal du motstand finnes.
Come ,the desire to work, here you shall find resistance.

2. Den verste høna er den som kakler mest
   The worst hen is the one that cackles the loudest

3. Gammel kjærlighet ruster aldri
   Old love never rusts.

4. Alt kler den smukke
   Everything suits the pretty one.

5. Ikke ta alle sorgene dine på forskudd.
   Don't take all your sorrows in advance.

6. Det er i motbakke det går oppover.
   When you experience resistance, that's when you walk upwards.

7. Menn er som fyrstikker - flammer plutselig opp og mister deretter hodet.
   Men are like matchsticks, burst suddenly into flames and lose head afterwards.

8. Det går alltid et tog
   There's always a train that goes.

9. Det er bedre å holde munn og la folk tro du er dum enn å åpne den og fjerne all tvil.
    It's better to shut your mouth and let people think you're stupid than to open it and remove all doubt.

10.Vennskap ender ofte med kjærlighet, men kjærlighet ender aldri med vennskap.
     Friendship often leads to love but love never leads to friendship.

Sneaking

2016-12-16T10:08:00.000-08:00

The non- sneakers buying their tickets

The other day I was taking the tram back home when the controllers entered the tram and started checking everyone if they had tickets or not. As I started to look for my wallet that has my monthly pass, a young lady sitting across from me whispered to me,
" Don't you have a ticket? I can buy one for you on my phone app."
" Thank you but I do have a pass. That's very kind of you, though." I answered.
"I just think the fine is too much." She laughed.
I was really touched by her sweet gesture and since then have often thought of how many nice people there are.

Sneaking on public transport has always been a big problem. Recently the amount of controls has intensified, the fine is a whopping 950 NOK if you pay on the spot and 1150 NOK if you pay later but according to an article in Dagsavisen, sneaking has gone up by ten percent costing Ruters a whopping 100 millions a year. They do manage to get back around 30 millions in fines but still the loss is around 60 million.
Should one sneak or not?The answer is obviously no but to some sneakers, getting fined a couple times a year, is a still a good deal, compared to the amount they save by commuting for free all the other times, as someone who sneaked all the time, told me. Today she drives so, she's no longer a sneaker.

I don't mind the increased control but the thing about control is, even if you do have a valid ticket, you still sense a sliver of fear, as if you might get caught or something. The lady on the tram agreed with me on that one.
Nowadays, it is impossible to take a bus or a tram without being controlled at some point of your journey, so I wonder who these ten percent are that are still getting away with sneaking?

Urban Seagulls

2016-10-19T12:41:00.003-07:00

Mean gulls?! : Waiting for the next burger or hot dogs on two legs

The other day I was returning home from the Central Station when I was drawn by an ad by Burger King, promising a chili cheese burger delight for just 20 kroners. I decided to give it a try and soon dug my teeth into a juicy delicious burger with jalapenos. Just as the ad promised, it was succulent. It was a small one, so I wanted to savour it slowly. I walked out of the Central Station and had barely made a few steps out when a couple of fat seagulls landed swiftly like a bolt of lightening on me and before I knew what had hit me, my burger was snatched out of my hand and gulped down by one of them, staring at me with a malevolent eye, wondering if she/ he could pluck something else out of my hand. I had no choice but to crumple the paper left in my hand and walk ahead with my held head high, summoning up as much dignity as I could manage, considering I had just been robbed by a bunch of hungry seagulls, and catch my tram home.

I had read about seagulls attacking people for food and in some areas, sending children into fearful panic attacks but this was the first time I had experienced being attacked by one.
Apparently, seagulls that are snatching food from people in Aker Brygge and other city areas is a familiar problem. These urban seagulls are feeding on burgers and hot dogs instead of their natural food source which is fish. So the big question is: Why are they eating junk food and not fish?
I have seen people fishing around the Oslo fjord so there is fish to be found but maybe like us humans, the seagulls have also developed a taste for junk food and humans are an easier target than fish in the sea, I suppose.

The seagulls have become quite a nuisance but because of their protected status, people cannot kill them or destroy their eggs during the nesting season. But surely this problem of seagulls snatching food from people should also be dealt with by the city council, or am I wrong?
Now, I still enjoy my chili cheese burgers but I make sure I eat it all before stepping out lest a hungry seagull deprives me of my guilty pleasure. Or, when I eat something on my way home I always stare up at the sky, looking out for a seagull.

22 July- Have we forgotten the message?

2015-07-22T03:40:00.002-07:00

Four years ago, Oslo united with love to defeat the hate of one man but where is that love today? Last week I met a young man in a Norwegian cemetery who was verbally attacked with racist comments. It made me wonder: Did we learn from the terrorist attack on 22 July 2011 or not?

It is exactly four years ago that the far- right lunatic Anders Behring Breivik had gone gun- totting around the Regjeringskvartalet (Central Secretariat) in downtown Olso and the Utøya island, gunning down 77 people, mostly children and young people who were participating in the annual summer camp organised by the youth wing of the Arbeiderpartiet (Labour Party).
The attack shook this peaceful nation to it's very core and in the aftermath of the attacks, there was a wave of love and acceptance among people and a determination that hate will not win. There was a Rose march where over a hundred thousand people participated to show their love and pay their tribute to the slain youth.
By now most of us know that Breivik had an agenda when he shot down the young people. He perceives himself as a freedom fighter: Freeing Europe from Islam and immigration. Hours before the attacks, Breivik e-mailed a 1,500-page manifesto to 5,700 people, titled 2083 - A European Declaration of Independence. In the document Breivik attacks multiculturalism and the "threat" of Muslim immigration to Norway, as well as Marxism and the Norwegian Labor Party. Breivik copied large sections of the Unabomber manifesto. Breivik writes that he is a "savior of Christianity," and claims to be part of an order called the "Knight's Templar." Breivik was active on anti-Muslim websites. (bio.)

The attacks made people realize how prejudice and racism can lead to fatal consequences. I cannot help but remember 15- year- old Benjamin Hermansen, from Holmlia, who was brutally murdered by neo- Nazi's in 2002. His murder had shaken the people and I remember the huge torchlight rally that was organised to commemorate the victim and a resolve to eradicate racism from the Norwegian society. Yet, nine years later, Norway witnessed the worst kind of terrorist attacks by a racist man.
I have now participated in both the rallies: for the Victims of Utøya and Benjamin Hermansen. The feeling of immense sorrow after such a tragedy is often tinged with a sense of "making it right", to fight the evil of racism and to show the haters that they will not succeed in splitting this society.
The lines by a young girl: "If one man can show so much hatred, think how much love we all can show together " became a sort of a mantra in the aftermath of 22 July 2011.

But four years later, what has changed?
Last week, I was at a cemetery near my house with a friend. While we were walking in the park, a young man in his twenties stopped us, clearly upset. Pointing to an older man sitting in the park, he told us that that man had asked him to leave as people like him were not wanted here. The boy had a background from Iraq or Iran or some other Asian country.
" I am studying political science at the University and I am born and brought up here. You are dark- skinned yourself, you can understand how I feel. " He said looking at me.
" Just ignore him. " I said.
" I swear, I feel like beating him up." He said.
" Please don't, that is exactly what he wants, such a reaction from you so that he can then go and say see, immigrants are dangerous." I said.
" One day he will say that to a wrong person and get beaten up." He said.
Later on I was sitting on the bench by myself, reading a book, the same old man passed me by. As he came towards me, I stiffened, anticipating some racial slur from him, wondering how I would feel or respond. Instead, he gave me a smile, a sort of a grimace and said," hi" and moved on with his dog. I was confused. I had already decided that he was a racist but there he was being nice and polite to me. But we do know that immigrant men face more racism than women, so it still does not make it ok that he can be nasty to that young man and congenial towards me because I am a woman. It is this "selective" racism that is hard to discern and hence more difficult to fight.

The subject of racism makes most of my Norwegian friends squirm with discomfort as they do not want to be associated with any attitude that maybe considered prejudiced. They are lovely people but even lovely people can have prejudice. Some attitudes are so deeply entrenched in our thinking that we do not realize that we may be prejudiced. Like that old man, for instance, it wouldn't surprise me if he considers himself a broad- minded non- racist person, simply because he said hello to me.

Racism has many faces but unfortunately, we only recognise or acknowledge it when it rears it's ugliest head in shocking tragedies like what happened on the 22 of July or the murder of Benjamin but we ignore these small incidences, the small talks we have on such grave subjects that can and sometimes do lead to bigger tragedies. Why do we express shock and recoil in horror when Breivik shoots 77 youth at the summer camp of the Arbeiderpartiet but shrug off such comments as inconsequential?
The streets of Oslo wore a deserted and empty look, right after the attacks; The next day when I was taking a taxi home, it was only natural that the taxi driver and I struck up a conversation about the attacks. What he said that day made me wonder, will we have more Breiviks some day in the future? He said that the Arbeiderpartiet has been running the country like a mafia and it is not surprising that someone would revolt against it. Now, I totally disagree with him but such an opinion can have a devastating effect on a youth of 16 who is either Norwegian or with an immigrant background. It is horrible when such terrorist attacks take place but the question is what are we doing in our daily lives to prevent this? Around me I hear similar racial rhetorics that spur on the likes of Breivik to do something. That could mean life or death for someone. Unfortunately, little has changed post 22 July terror attacks when comes to the daily racism on the streets of Oslo. To quote George Santayana,"Those who cannot remember the past are condemned to repeat it."
It is not enough to mark this day as the day Oslo united with love against one terrorist. We need to stand united with love and respect everyday. May the victims Rest In Peace.

The nobel experience

2014-12-12T00:21:00.002-08:00

The past three days have been just amazing. I was lucky enough to witness the historical moment from the Town Hall itself and even though I had the press badge, I could not help but be moved to tears by the speeches of the two Nobel Peace Prize laureates, Kailash Satyarthi and Malala Yousafzai. The CNN live interview with Christiane Amanpour was just as amazing as I had expected it to be. It left me in tears. The answers given by the two Nobel Laureates were maybe well rehearsed but they rang true with sincerity and hence touched many hearts. The Norwegian Nobel Institute says that they have never accredited so many journalists before and never have there been so many standing ovations for the Nobel Laureates. Which goes to prove that the Nobel Peace Prize award was the biggest event among the Indians and Norwegians living in Norway.
Last night when I was at the Nobel Peace Prize concert, I could not help thinking that now most Indians will know where Oslo is and that Norway is not a part of Sweden.

However, the debate whether Malala really deserves the prize or whether Satyarthi has really rescued that many children and that some rescue operations were merely staged for the media, refuses to die down. It is hard not to like Malala, when you listen to her speak. As for Satyarthi, the truth is he has brought a painful subject to the forefront. We Indians oppose child labour in principle but think nothing of hiring a young girl or boy as domestic help. I remember that we had a few maids in Nepal and one of them was just 12 years old. I used to wonder even then is it mere fate that is responsible for this ? Finally, thanks to Satyarthi , all Indians will be forced to look at children working with different eyes and not pass it off as their misfortune. We are all responsible if children are suffering in any country. The prize is a time for us to do some serious soul- searching. Are we doing enough to give the children a hope for the future? Maybe the next time we see a small boy sitting on the pavement, polishing shoes to earn money for his family, we will stop by and ask ourselves what can I do to stop this injustice? Malala has taken up the cudgels for a very important fight: education of girls. No matter how you look at it: These two issues, eradicating child labour and educating girls, are two of the most important issues of our times.
Finally, there was the Nobel Peace Prize Concert last night at Oslo Spectrum, which was telecast live in Norway and India. I was there, this time not as a journalist but as a part of the audience. It was a fantastic evening! It was almost like a dream come true listening to Steven Tyler sing" More than words", Amjad Ali Khan play the Sarod and last but not the least Rahat Fateh Ali Khan sing my favourite qawwali:" Tumhe dillagi bhool janbi padegi, mohabbat ki rahon me aa kar dekho" ( you will have to forget joking around if you walk on the path of love).
It has been memorable three days. I think all Indians living in Oslo feel the same: A proud moment for all Indians. And for my Pakistani friends too.

Life online

2014-10-17T09:47:00.000-07:00

Recently a colleague of mine told me she does all her shopping online. Of course I knew people are shopping online and I have myself ordered some stuff from eBay sometimes. But when people say they stopped going to the local malls or shops and do most of their shopping online, it makes me wonder will the malls meet the same fate as the print media: a slow and certain death? In the US in some places the Malls have closed as more and more people are switching to online shopping. Of course, it is also the recession I am sure.
It made me think just how much of our lives have now been hijacked by the internet. We no longer call people, we send messages. We don't really meet people, we just check on their profiles and know what they are doing( and that they are alive). A lot has been written about this, yet it hits me over and over again just how much of our lives are being lived online.
My son complains about my Facebook, he hates it and laughs every time I post a cheesy status update. It has made me be aware of spending more time with him.

If our online life takes on gigantic proportions, our real life is drastically reduced. We cannot escape the internet as it has now become an integral part of our lives but maybe we need to put quota's on our online activities...?
I fear we will no longer need human services if we let our online life take over all aspects of our lives: reading newspapers, shopping, meeting friends and other activities. We will be one of the loneliest people in the Universe. Just some random thoughts on a Friday.

Hope and God

2014-08-10T03:51:00.004-07:00

She is very beautiful. Long black raven hair, dark brown doe- eyes and lips that promise passion. Men swarm around her like bees to honey. It amuses her but she is enveloped in her own world, of sadness and broken heart. She is still in her twenties but is already a single mother with three children. Alone, with no means to support herself. Her legal status is that of an illegal immigrant. Maybe it's my inquisitive nature or maybe it's my profession that makes me a nosy parker but when we met, I asked her about her life. As we waited for the tram, she started to tell me her story. And since that day I haven't been able to shake it off my head.
She was happily married until one fine day, her husband left her for another woman. She fell into a dark place in her heart, losing all hope. One day, she jumped from a five- storey building. I can visualise her flying down the building, her hair flying, her eyes full of despair. But there was a tarpaulin between the ground and one last storey. It saved her life.

" I tell you, I had jumped to die. I really did not want to live anymore. I came here to Norway for him, and now he has left me, I just wanted to die." Her soft voice is still full of pain.
The thought of going back to her country with three small children, raising them in poverty was too overwhelming for her. When she was in the hospital her life hung on a thread.
" That fall changed me. I remember that I was in so much pain and I wanted to just die. I heard a voice call out to me, saying my name. Saying I am always with you, do you still believe you are alone? I asked the voice who are you? But it didn't tell me, so I asked " Are you Jesus?"
The voice replied" If you want to believe it so."
Then the voice said" You have to go back. "
She said that she returned to her body after that. The doctors had been giving her electric shocks and had almost given up hope of reviving her when she came back to life. Since then she believes in Jesus. But will faith alone help her?
The subject of illegal immigration is a controversial one.
Presently, there are around five to six millions illegal immigrants living in Europe. The exact number of illegal immigrants in Norway is uncertain but according to some, it is between 5.000 -10.000. The present government with a very right- wing Progress Party in coalition, is known for it's anti- immigrant stances. They are going to come down even harder on the illegal immigrants.
The public opinion is also not very favourable to the subject of illegal immigrants.

But I believe that people should be treated as humans beings, not statistics or an unwanted expenditure. People are sometimes caught up in situations beyond their control and fault, specially children are the innocent victims. I fear that she will be forcibly deported one day, with her children. I do not know what kind of future awaits her and I wish there was something I could do for her. But maybe there is a power above us all that knows and will help her.

Indian tourists

2014-07-06T10:33:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine is working in a hotel these days and she was telling me how Indian tourists are the worst ones she has come across. She is working in a hotel in Bergen and was in Oslo for a short visit. I cringed a little as she described the so- called filthy rich Indians on a summer vacation to Norway.
" They make such a mess that cleaning up after them is real hell. No other group of tourist's litter so much. Then, many of them use some kind of oil that has such a strong pungent smell that once, I got a severe head ache at the end of the day, after smelling it all day!"
Even though I burst into laughter I couldn't help being embarrassed by this.
I tried to explain that rich Indians are usually used to lots of servants so they probably never learn to clean up after them.
Then she said that I am the only Indian friend she knows but that I am nothing like all those tourists. According to her their lack of cleanliness is only matched by their deep arrogance. Like one lady who stared at her up and down, contemptuously.And they never say "hello."
Yup, arrogance. Another trademark of the rich Indians. She told me that every summer there are many Indian tourists who visit Norway but she always heaves a sigh of relief when they leave.
" Now you know why I don't have so many Indian friends. " I told her smilingly.
The few I have are like me.

Queue etiquette

2014-06-20T07:14:00.001-07:00

Two days ago, I was standing in line to get into Kontraskjæret (an open air place with a large screen to watch the World Cup. Chile vs Spain.), when a bunch of young boys, who were clearly from Latin America, broke the line and got ahead of us. They were barely in their teens. I was really annoyed and told them to go back and get in line like the rest of us. Of course, they played the silly and paid no attention to my words.
My friend, who was with me, told me " Saroj, you are so Norwegian!"
" Yes, I am!" I told her. I was myself surprised at how annoyed I was with the boys for jumping the line.
In Norway, right from kindergarten, children are taught to "wait for their turn." People don't jump the queue here. Not usually, though once in a while some bad mannered person breaks that rule.
Anyway, there was a Norwegian couple ahead of us who also threw disgusted looks at the boys.
Then a few minutes later, another boy jumped the rail and got ahead of us. So this lady asks him,
" Which country are you from?" He was of course ethnic Norwegian and he said he is from Norway. She told him " In Norway we don't jump line, we wait for our turn!" The guy merely laughed and ignored her. I think she expected better behaviour from him simply because he was ethnic Norwegian. Even though I was irritated with the Latino boys for jumping the line, I could not help wonder why would she expect better behaviour from the blond and blue- eyed boy?
Suddenly I had this uneasy feeling that it was no longer about jumping the line, but ethnicity. I did not think of ethnicity, actually. I was just annoyed about the bad behaviour. But here, you have to be careful when you criticise people with a minority background, lest it confirms the stereotypes about them in the society. Sometimes it means excusing, explaining and accepting bad behaviour by certain groups of people. I wish it was not like that because it is the conduct that is bad, not the person or their background. Does everything have to be about ethnicity? That little encounter left me with many thoughts.

Being Kind

2014-06-16T01:11:00.000-07:00

Last week I was heading home from an appointment when I was stopped by a gypsy woman, asking me for money. Since I almost never carry cash I told her I don't have any money on me. So she asks me" Buy food for me, please?"
That sounded like a good idea to me so I agreed. We went to Rema 1000 that was near by and as I was filling the food basket, a guy who works there came upto me and asked if the woman was bothering me and whether she was in the grocery store when she asked me to buy her food. I said no I had met her outside.
" Be careful. She and others accost strangers and ask them to buy them food. Then they select very expensive food items. Once you buy food for them and leave, they go to another store and deliver all the food items and ask for money in return. So, I am not saying don't be kind but be wise. These are charlatans, they prey upon innocent people and their kindness. "

The woman who obviously did not speak Norwegian, understood anyway that the man was warning me against her.
I was suddenly in an awkward situation. I wanted to help the woman but at the same time I did not want to be made a fool of. So anyway. I did buy her some food but I told her I will buy her food for around 200 Kroners. She kept trying to sneak in more food items in the basket and I had to be firm about not exceeding the limit of the money I was willing to use on her.

She kept asking me for more and asking me to go to the pharmacy and buy her milk for her baby. Which I refused. On my way home, I was not feeling good about the whole thing. I was asking myself if there is any room for kindness in this world? But hasn't it always been like this? Good people get tricked and made to feel that there is something wrong with them because they were not smart enough to see through a scam. Yet, isn't it the one who tricks who should feel like a loser? But is kindness a weakness? Just some random thoughts on a boring Monday!

Why I blog

2014-05-18T03:46:00.003-07:00

After a long time I am updating this blog that has almost been dead for nearly a year. But it is fun when from time to time I meet people for the first time and they tell me they have read my blog and some wonder why I stopped writing. So why did I ? Actually, the truth is I was following a lot of blogs and some were following me. Then somewhere along the way, it became a question of how many followers you get, how many updates you manage in a day, how many comments you get etc. A bit like what is also happening on the other social media like Twitter and Facebook. For some people it becomes a matter of how many likes a picture gets, how many comments a post gets you etc. For me it took the joy out of writing.

The idea of writing a blog was more out of fun and creativity. Not to start pandering to the " likes- comments- followers" tyranny. Even on Facebook, when I don't update my status, some people send me a mail asking me what is wrong or why haven't I updated my status as they wait to read my status. It is of course very nice indeed that people like what I put out there ( though not everyone is crazy about it too!), I want my freedom to update when I feel like and not be constricted or bound by what my followers and friends want. I am quite an anarchist that way. I always go my own way. And it is not meant as a disrespect but more as an expression of my freedom.

The media world is already kowtowing to the how many- hits- an -article gets, which is seriously compromising good journalism. And most websites try to write about what people want to read so that they get as many hits as possible. From time to time, you discover which is the most shared article on the net. I am not saying it is a bad thing but media is constricted that way. Good or bad journalism is not about how many likes you get.

So when I blog or use other social media forums to express what I want, I do not want to be influenced by what my followers want to read. If you truly like what I write, you will follow me anyway. Me and my mood quirks. So, when the fancy takes me when I feel like writing about something I find funny or interesting I blog.

Choose to be happy

2013-03-17T05:38:00.002-07:00

I bumped into a friend recently. I hadn't seen her for a couple of years. So it was natural to ask her how is life?
" Oh it's just terrible!" And in that brief meeting I got to know all about the awful things that had happened to her.
So I asked her" Well, did nothing good happen in these past two years?"
Very reluctantly, she did tell me about a few good things that had happened to her recently. A new job. A new boyfriend.
She was keen to meet up again and we exchanged phone numbers but I am dreading her call to meet up for coffee. Because I know it will be like it used to be. Us meeting and bitching about life...or just about everything under the sun. I suddenly remembered why I had "lost" contact with her. She is one of those people who have just made up their minds that no matter what happens, she will cling to her misery. That kind of fierce loyalty is hard to fight. I remember once long back we had gone out clubbing. I love dancing and I was really happy we were going out. My son was just five years old so partying was a rare phenomenon for me in those days, as getting a baby sitter was a jugglers act. We went out but all through the evening she kept complaining. The music was too loud.
" It's a discotheque" I tried.
" I know that but they don't have to burst my ear drums!"
When they played my favourite song I said" Let's go dance, come on!"
" Dance alone like two pathetic women?"
Needless to say, by the end of the evening I was just as miserable as her. When we took the taxi home, we agreed life was hopeless and all the people at the discotheque were just unaware of how horrible their lives actually were.
Every time, something bad happened to her, she would call me up and tell me in details about it. I have lost count of all the "Desperate Housewives" episodes I have missed because of her calls.
The sad thing is no matter what I said, it wouldn't help.
One day I was sitting in the park with another friend, who is very much like me, when my cellphone rang. It was her, with a new tale of misery.
When I hung up the phone, my friend who had been listening to my conversation with my miserable friend, told me,
" Saroj, that woman sounds like she needs a shrink, not a friend"
Now here is the real reason I drifted away from her. I was becoming like her! My other friends started reacting to how negative I had become and how I moaned and groaned about my life. Being negative is highly contagious. That's when I decided to move away from her. Gradually we started seeing less and less of each other and then we simply lost contact.

Strangely enough, my life that seemed miserable and hopeless when I was friends with her, suddenly seemed a lot better. I am a fun-loving person and I have just one religion in life: laugh, whenever you can. Live and let live. After losing touch with her, I went back to being myself.

I was once reading about the formula to success in life and one of the things that stayed in my head after reading that article is that in order to be successful in life, whether it is your career, relationships or personal development, it is very important to surround yourself with people who want you to succeed. People may care for you or love you but sometimes that bond between you and the people you are close with ( and that includes family), is based on shared painful experiences or misery. Often these friends or well- wishers, while they genuinely care for you and may believe that they want you to succeed, will actually hinder your progress or path to success with their negativity. They are not being mean, they are just being who they are: "negative people".
When you passionately believe in something, whether it is good or bad, you look for confirmation of what you seek. And as they say if you seek something, it seeks you!! That is why miserable people will always find confirmation of their negative beliefs, so trying to change them is a waste of time. They will always be right.
But happiness is a choice. And if you choose to be happy, it also means you may have to let go of those who love their misery.

Talash

2012-12-02T05:08:00.000-08:00

Aamir Khans' much awaited crime thriller was released on Friday. And true to his reputation, Khan who is known for being a perfectionist, delivers a thriller full of suspence and good story. The script is well written, almost flawless, with all the loose ends tied up beautifully in the end.

Talaash ( search) follows inspector Surjan Singh Shekhawat (Aamir Khan), who is investigating the accidental death of a film star Armaan Kapoor ( Vivan Bhatena). As Shekhawat unfolds the strange case, he gets entangled in a drama that has more to it than meets the eye. Meanwhile, his personal life suffers as he reels under the repercussions of an almost-broken marriage with Roshni ( Rani Mukerji), and comes face-to-face with his suppressed grief of losing his only child.
While trying to investigate the case, Shekhawat meets a sex worker Rosie (Kareena Kapoor), who helps him fight his inner demons and also helps him with his enquiry about the accident. How Shekhawat solves the case and revives his relationship with his wife forms the crux of the story. ( Source: Wikipedia)

Aamir Khan gives a good controlled performance and seems very convincing as Suri, the good cop. But then again, he never lets his audience down as an actor. Though I felt that he went slightly over the top in the scene where he replays the last conversation with his son before his death. But that could be just me ...

But forget Aamir Khan as it is Kareena Kapoor who takes your breath away! She steals the whole show from right under the great Khans' nose. This girl can act. She is brilliant as Rosie, the prostitute who helps inspector Suri in getting to the bottom of the death of a famous film star. Looking beautiful and vulnerable she gives one of her best performances as the sensuous and mysterious whore. You actually miss her when she is not on screen.
Rani Mukerji is good as the depressed housewife who cannot come to terms with the tragedy in her life.
Nawazuddin Siddiqui who plays Tehmur, the pimps right hand deserves a special mention for good acting.

The film is gripping from the beginning to the end and it actually gets better towards the end. The climax is breath taking! It's not easy to make a who-done- it crime thriller and that too Bollywood style, knowing your audience wants all the thumkas and songs they expect but Talash gives you your moneys worth. The beautiful photography of Mumbai, from the narrow lanes in the red light area to the fancy apartments, captures and enthralls. Trust a woman to write and direct a film where each minute detail is taken care of. Reema Kagti earns your respect as a writer and director.
Ok, the only indiscrepancy in the film was the switch of the bags at the train station. How does Tehmur know that the man he is blackmailing will bring an identical blue bag ? Or maybe I missed something as the guys sitting next to me were passing comments most of the time, distracting me at times ( Indians!! They can't keep quiet anywhere...). Another thing was when Suri rescues one girl from the woman who runs the brothel, he just picks her up and leaves after a small scuffle with the womans goons. Is it that simple to rescue a girl from prostitution in Mumbai? Somehow I found that a bit unconvincing. Also, if it was, why not save all the girls then?!?

But as I wrote earlier, that could be just me ( and that's why people hate journalists !!).
I give it five stars out of six. Go watch!

Crime in Norway

2012-11-04T02:36:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, while I was buying a ticket for the tram at the Narvesen, I read the warning pasted on the counter " Wacth out for fake Norwegian currency." so I asked the girl behind the counter if this was so much of a problem that they had to actually put a warning note. She told me, yes, such things were happening these days.
" So many strange things are happening now in Oslo" I couldn't help remarking. Previously such criminal activities were non - existent here.
It reminded me of a conversation I had with an Italian friend almost two years ago. We had met for coffee and the topic turned to immigrants. The incident last night reminded me of what she said that day.
What she said is right, that there has indeed been an increase in crime and pick pocketing in Norway in the past recent years.
She told me that Italy has been through the same kind of change a few years back. Innocent people would be duped and lured by criminals, who sometimes even used small children to trick and rob people. And she said she was sad to see that the same kind of crime is now growing in Norway.
She is absolutely right. There is a change, no doubt.
Norway is not part of the European Union but the treaty that Norway has signed EEA- agreement has resulted in Norway opening its borders to labour from East Europe. That has changed a lot of things. Contrary to popular belief it is not the immigrants living here who are responsible for such crimes like thefts and pick pocketing but bands of robbers from east European countries who come to Norway, usually during the summer, and commit these crimes.
But it is all the immigrants who get a bad name, unfortunately.
Italy has now become almost fascist in dealing with the immigrant issues but I think it is important to also realise that the Italians didn't become like this overnight.
With open borders, you allow also unsavory elements into the country. Norway has no strategy to deal with such issues. It is important that the police is given more resources to deal with petty crime because as a citizen my main concern isn't the political aspect of it, but the safety aspect of the change. It is primarily a law and order issue.
You can't pick up one end of the stick without picking the other. Also strict immigration policies won't help the situation as that is not applicable to the bands of criminals coming from east Europe, with the sole aim of committing theft and robbery.
And then maybe it is time we who live here, become more aware and watch out more. I must say , it won't be easy because we are used to almost no crime here but now we need to be careful and not too gullible.
However, Norway is still by far one of the safest countries in the world.

Learning Hindi

2012-11-01T02:17:00.000-07:00

I am so happy today! I have enrolled my son into a Hindi class. Finally, he will understand Hindi.
It is really scandalous that he never learnt to speak his mother tongue though it is entirely my own fault for not pursuing it.

When he was born, I was alone and most of my friends speak either Norwegian or English. I used to speak Hindi with him in the beginning but all that changed once he started going to the kindergarten when he was one and a half years old. If I said anything in Hindi, he would put a hand on my lips and say, " Mom, please don't speak that strange language here."
He simply refused to learn Hindi. When he was about 3 or 4 years old I put my foot down and said if he was not going to learn Hindi, then he had to learn English, so that he will be able to communicate with my family in India. He agreed. Today he speaks fluent English. He is reading books in English and has read the entire Percy Jackson series in English.

When he was eight years old, I had gone to India (2008) with him. He was really upset because he could not understand a word of what we were talking at home. Of course, we were talking a mixture of Punjabi and Hindi at home. He told me he doesn't like travelling to India because he feels left out. So I bought books and tried giving him lessons at home. But it didn't work. Like a typical ma ka ladla ( mamma's boy) he becomes a difficult student when "mom" is his teacher.
Then I tried Bollywood films. He ended up making fun of them saying" Oh for Gods sake mom, why do all these people break out into a song in the middle of a crisis singing oh zindagiiiiiii..." I crumpled with laughter and realised I had lost that battle too!
So now I am down to the basics: good old bribes !!!
I have negotiated a deal: If he goes to this Hindi course, he gets an IPad.
Language is so important because unless you master the language you will never truly understand a culture.
I still haven't given up hope that one day he will speak fluent Hindi.

Halloween fever in Norway

2012-10-30T15:15:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow is Halloween and they are sold out for pumpkins in Oslo!
I just don't understand why Halloween has become such a rage in Norway. Is it Nille that has made it popular because they sell cheap costumes and make up ? It's yet another commercial festival where people spend lots of money.
When my son was little I did join in the festivities but thankfully now as he is older, he doesn't seem too keen on it.
Halloween reminds me of the Indian tradition of "Lohri", where you go trick or treating in the neighbourhood.
Apparently Halloween is an old tradition and is celebrated in many countries in Europe and in America it is big.
However, I just don't get this Halloween fever that seems to have hit Norway. It is only in the last ten years that it has become so important. In the beginning it was just the kids but now even grown ups are havi ng Halloween parties! I went to one myself but I was not dressed up for Halloween. I might have but then when my son refuses to buy Halloween costumes and wants to keep it low- key, I decided it would be too odd if his mom went cavourting around dressed as a Vampire ( yup, that's what I would be if I dress up).
Here's wishing all those celebrating A Happy Halloween.

Fifty Shades of Grey

2012-10-28T12:36:00.001-07:00

I finally finished the much talked about book. What can I say about a book that has sold millions of copies the world over? The critics are not unanimous about this book . While some have given it a great review, others have brushed it off as trivial.
When I first started reading the book, I found it racy and interesting. I was fascinated and hooked. Flipping through the pages, the thing that stirkes you is the amazing chemistry between the main characters in the book, Anastasia Steele and Christian Grey. You know they will end up in bed as the mating dance starts between them from the minute they meet. But the juicy bits start only after you have patiently read 100 pages...up until then you wonder... is this author a tease?.

There really isn't much of a story, actually: A modest, shy , intelligent and beautiful girl, Anastasia Steele meets the rich, handsome and complicated business tycoon, Christian Steele, who seems arrogant and unattainable. There is instant attraction between them and soon Christian Grey is stalking Ana, overtaking her life, which our demure heroine revels in, even though the warning bells in her intelligent mind tell her Grey is screwed up. He wants her but he is not into "vanilla sex" as he tells her ( normal sex ). He is into S&M . Our heroine who is a virgin and romantic needs lots of convincing to join him in his Red Room.
So you end up reading a lot of e-mail exchanged between the two, a long drawn out contract and some negotiations before our innocent heroine complies and allows herself to be seduced in the way he wants her. She ends up feeling disillusioned and hurt as she is actually a normal girl wanting a normal boy friend who will woo her with flowers and cards. Grey is a sadist at heart, and she is shocked when she finally realises it.

What is new about this story? Really, nothing. But what spices up the book are the lessons in sado masochistic sex for Ana. But it is not mind blowing and some parts are actually unrealistic. Like our herioine explodes into ecstatic orgasms by a mere touch...come on, that is going to mislead a lot of young girls. That just isn't true..
In the beginning the book reminded me of the Mills and Boon romances I used to read as a teenager, where the story used to be pretty much the same, except the sex part. There, it used to be a kiss that was the main thing. Mills and Boon series had different authors. I remember Anne Mathers being more popular as her books were slightly bolder and there was more "action" in them but no sex. So it was fun reading "Fifty shades of Grey " because it took me back to my teens. But soon the book drags on into endless converstaions and emails and contract negotiations. And the mysterious Christian Grey starts to remind of all those men whose unwanted affection women thwart but who never take a hint and keep on pursuing them with annoying persistence.
I struggled to finish the book as I felt it could have been edited. I am wondering if I have the patience to read the other two books. Out of sheer curiosity I might read them.
But unless you are curious about S&M, you won't miss anything if you havn't read the books. Maybe that is the biggest achievement of the books : That is normalises S&M.

What is meant to be will be or...?

2012-10-25T23:03:00.002-07:00

When I was in India in March- April this year, I went to see an astrologer. You know what they say that sometimes going to an astrologer can make you feel worse. And in some ways, I felt a bit bad as I was told that Rahu is in my astral charts and it will remain there for 18 long years. On the other hand, I can now blame everything on Rahu.!!!

The thing is this man also told me things that would happen which hadn't happened then but eventually they did take place. It was a bit spooky. However, I won't write all that he told me...But I want to write about something the astrologer talked about. Destiny and Karma.
I have been thinking about it since then. Accoring to him Destiny is bigger than Karma. He said that people think if we do good Karma ( deeds), that is enough. But in reality good karma alone will not help, it won't change our fortunes coz what is bigger than karma is Destiny. For example, if it is destined that you will be a king , it won't matter whether you do the right karma or not, you will be king.
He told me that a lot of people consult astrologer saying they want to become big stars or politicians but he says it is not in their destiny so no matter what they do, they will not realise their dreams.
It makes sense in some way, however it also makes you not bother to do anything. Is that why Indians are so fatalistic? We accept everything as " ye mera bhagya hai." ( its my destiny, kismet).

This collides with the saying that you can also change your destiny. Or if you take steps to change your so - called destiny that is also written somewhere up there...is that what they mean...if it's meant to be, it will be..?
On the other hand, sometimes what astrologers predict, never happen...is it because these astrologers are not accurate or because the stars change. But surely your destiny cannot change.
Most of my Norwegian friends don't believe in this. But it is kind of fun too. Now everytime something bad happens I often joke...that's not me, that's my Rahu!
However, I do believe in destiny because I have seen it myself that some things are meant to be, no matter what...

All about words

2012-10-23T15:07:00.001-07:00

I haven't been a regular blogger. The truth is, I have reached a stage where words have stopped impressing me. I feel words are flung around on blogs, newspapers or social media merely to show off intelligence. I am a journalist and as such, words are my tools. But the reason for my disenchantment is simple: there are so many assholes and jerks that write beautifully...you read their blogs, chronicles and debates and you are left with a feeling that this person must be a great. After all, having such philosophical or idealistic thoughts must abide in a soul that is above the rest of us mortals. But I have met some of them in person and they are just ordinary people or in some cases not even that. They are smart and intelligent alright but so self centred and full of themselves that they evoke only disgust in me. Their writing is done with the soul purpose of trying to show off their intellectualism.Often I find that the person who is sincere about what they write is unassuming and very unnoticeable in a crowd.

My reason for wanting to be a journalist was simple: I really believed I could change the world. I wasn't after fame but I wanted this profession to get back the credibilty it seems to be losing. Today there is so much yellow journalism out there, tabloid style. Some journalists behave like celebrities. It is actually sad.
So maybe that is why I don't blog much. I am wary of using words...for the sole purpose of impressing. You may laugh at me but I still like to nurse the illusion that some day I will change the world. I am just not sure if I will do it with words...

Barfi- The story about unflinching love

2012-10-10T13:22:00.000-07:00

Three weeks ago I watched "Barfi" in Vika. It's not very often a Bollywood film makes you think but "Barfi did just that. I thought about the film for two days. Now the film has been selected for the Oscars under the category of best foreign film.

The story goes something like this: Barfi or rather Murphy ( Ranbir Kapoor) is a speech and hearing impaired , happy- go- lucky sort of guy who lives in Darjeeling, West Bengal, with his grandfather. The film is about his relationship with two women who come into his life and how he loves both of them and chooses one of them. One is Shruti ( Ileana D'cruz ) whom he falls in love with but she chooses her fiance, following her mothers advice that such " romantic love" is not practical. Murphy then gets embroiled in the life of Jhilmil (Priyanka Chopra) who is autistic. Barfi is always searching for unconditional love and tests all the people who enter his life.

Ok, so what's new about such a triangle love- story, right? Yes, the triangle is a classic but it is presented in a refreshing way. The breath taking scenography of Darjeeling adds to the charm of the film.
How can a lead actor who doesn't utter a word beyond a guttural attempt at saying his name Murphy convince his audience? But Ranbir Kapoor does just that. His acting is simply mind blowing. Each expression is so eloquent that you don't miss hearing the words. You understand instantly which emotion he is trying to convey
Like the time he cuts the tree and when it falls, Jhilmil still doesn't leave his hand and he turns to look at her in amazement. The expression on his face speaks of his feelings better than any dialogue. His quest to find unflinching love is complete.
Ranbir Kapoor also reminds me of his grandfather, Raj Kapoor and of course Charlie Chaplin. Few actors on the silver screen have left such a great impression of the silent movie era as Chaplin did. Yet, Ranbir Kapoor is also himself as the cute lover boy, despite the fact that he doesn't speak a single dialogue in the film.
Ok, Ok I know am gushing like a giddy headed teenager but get used to it...Ranbir Kapoor is that good! And as Neha says in her blog: I think I am in love with Ranbir Kapoor. And so is half of India, I bet. The guy is simply a great actor.

Priyanka Chopra gives a very good performance as the autistic Jhilmil. Kudos to this pretty actress for doing a role where she is so un- galmorous that you forget that she was once miss World and has a body women would kill to have. She looks sweet and matches Ranbir Kapoor look for look in a movie where facial expressions alone have carried the film forward.
You don't get bored in the film as you are constantly wondering what will happen next.
However, as always there are some indiscrepencies in the script. I am almost used to it in Bollywood films!! Like, Priyanka is the sole beneficiary of her grandfathers fund, but she is autistic and thus a person has to be able to use that fund in her name. But in the film nobody is appointed as her gaurdian. Legally, that's the right way to do it. Also, the marriage between Barfi and Jhilmil, she is not sane...which court will consider it legal? Anyhow....one ignores such things.

I felt also there were too many wild goose chases that could have been shortened but alright, it also gives the audience an opportunity to see how beautiful Darjeeling is.

The new girl Ileana D'cruz is beautiful and a refreshing new face. She also acts well. I think she has a good future in Bollywood.
Bollywood films can make you laugh and cry, irritae and annoy you and at their best entertain you. But with Barfi Bollywood has cerainly come a few miles closer to Hollywood. However, whether it deserves to go to Oscars is debatable. But it definitely stands a chance of winning a Oscar.
So my conclusion is: If you have not seen Barfi yet, go see it! It's a must watch film for Bollywood fans.

Summer 2012

2012-08-07T10:16:00.002-07:00

Summer is almost over and even though I have been quite busy, it feels as if the summer went by quite slowly at times. I had a summer job so it took a bit of my time. And now am just enjoying the rest of the summer days. And even though I have the sweetest kid on earth, I will be glad when the school reopens and he can be busy again. It is really exhausting to come up with activity plans during summer holidays. And it's getting harder to find things that he thinks are fun. What do 12 year old boys like? It seems everything they enjoy involves a screen and indoor activity be it Play station, TV, Wi or computer games. I am so tired of cartoon network as a constant background sound during summer holidays. Yeah , yeah I know I am the one who calls the shots here, but seriously sometimes you just say yes to get them off your back or they moan constantly about how bored they are.

Earlier I used to get some hours off in the evening when he went to bed but now he wants to stay up till 11 pm and by then am pretty zonked myself so there is not much I can do except be a zombie in front of TV and catch the end of an episode of Sex i n the city ( re runs though).

On the other hand we have been bonding in a way we didn't earlier. We talk almost as adults. My son loves reading so we often discuss books. I am lucky that he loves reading coz I love books too.

I am currently reading "Fifty Shades of Grey" by EL James. I will blog about it when I finish it. And yes I have been watching movies. Two days ago I watched " Ishqzade". Loved the film.

Well anyway, nothing much is happening here except a lot of rains...and when the sun shines, we try and make the most of it. It is still summer, after all.

Clarity of thoughts

2012-06-23T03:50:00.001-07:00

I am in the philosophical corner these days. Thinking about God, life, people and the reason why we are here. Heavy, huh?? I am on a wild goose chase I know but heck, these questions do haunt us human beings from time to time.
I was in India a few months back and the thing that struck me was how almost everyone there talked about making money and not just enough but loads of it. For some people maybe that is the answer and the key to their happiness though I have met many extremely rich people and they are anything but happy. They get their share of sorrows just like all of us.
So what is the purpose of life?
Are we here to earn money? To love? To be good to each other? To take care of the earth?
Trust me, am just as lost as anyone.
They say pain is needed to feel pleasure. I have often wondered about good and evil and that they can only exist because of each other. How do we define good if it couldn't be compared to evil.
And what is being good? How do we determine who is good and who is bad when we all have degrees of good and bad in us.
When we are children it is easier to think in clear terms as what is wrong and right. For example: don't lie, hit, steal, hurt others...but as we grow older, the lines get blurred as good and bad often get lost in a quagmire of reasons, justifications and personal gains.
I just came to this conclusion recently that to seek clarity is maybe the best thing to do when one is going through a rough patch in life.

Thank you

2012-06-15T16:26:00.001-07:00

Today I was meeting a friend for a drink at the Litteraturhuset. I decided to walk towards the place. It is a popular place where writers, journalists and other intellectuals hang out.
While I was walking towards the place, I was suddenly hit by a thought as I caught a glance at my own reflection on a window. I looked happy. I had dressed up and even to my own eyes, I looked good.
My friend and I often sit and talk about the difficulties we face and the challenges we have as single parents. I thought about being thankful. How often do we thank God for all the good things in our lives or the people who have been good to us? We humans have a tendency to only focus on the negative, the people who disappoint us. If we practised gartitude in our daily lives we would be overwhelmed by all the wonderful things we have in our lives. But how easily we forget it. So I decided then and there to do a mental exercise: to make list of all my blessings in my life and the things I am grateful for. As I walked on, the list kept growing. With each step I took I was filled with deep gratitude over my life and then I was suddenly filled with so much joy. I realised how truly blessed I am.
So I decided that from on I will practice gratitude everyday. I am sure I will not stop complaining completely and there will be moments where I will focus on the negative but from now onwards I will also make an effort to be thankful for what I have. And I have so much to be thankful for. We all need to hear a thank you when we do something for someone. Maybe the Guy Upstairs needs to hear us say Thank You now and then. So here is my Thank You, for a lovely day and for my lovely blogbuddies and the fact that each day I wake up to a new day, new opportunites. Amen

The Devil and the Deep Sea

2012-05-27T08:27:00.001-07:00

Oslo has a fifty percent divorce rate and being a single parent is quite common here. Hence living here I never feel that am an oddity, except when I meet Indians. I have been living here for 19 years. So long that sometimes I forget all the downside of the Indian culture...like divorce is such a stigmatising thing. I bumped into one Asian person and on knowing I am from India, he immediately asked me,

" So, husband kya karte hain, aapke?" ( So what does your husband do?)
"Er...I don't have a husband" I repiled , a bit taken aback by the question.
"KYA??? Are you still unmarried? Is umar mein?? ( At this age?).
Feeling as if I was 80 I hastily replied, " Eh eh, I was married. But not anymore.." I looked around for escape routes. The interrogation continued..
" Ohhh , yeh tragedy kab hui? ( When did this tragedy happen?)
" What tragedy" I asked, confused.
" I mean, your divorce".
I laughed uncomfortably.
" Yeh to bahut bura hua, divorce nahi hona chahiye tha" He tsked tsked in deep compassion. (What happened is very sad. Shouldn't be divorced.).
I finally made my escape saying I needed to use the ladies room, painstakingly aware of his pitiful glance following me.
Now, am no tragedy queen or anything but it made me wonder, is divorce really so bad? I see couples who have been married for years but there is no love between them, they are having affairs on the side but when it comes to apperances they seem like a happy couple.

Even though India has 2 percent divorce rate, a lot of marriages are just a sham. So I don't know what is better. I feel I am happier than a lot of married women I know. Sure I get lonely sometimes, but the loneliness you feel in a loveless marriage is far worse...Being a single parent is no easy feat either but sometimes life makes you choose between the Devil and the Deep sea. I haven't drowned ...yet( smiling)

The power of the pen

2012-05-24T05:03:00.004-07:00

I had a conversation with a friend recently which has been niggling at me since then. My friend is a researcher, a doctor( PHD). To get there you have to do extensive research, write a thesis because as a researcher your facts have to be impeccable if you are to have credibility. She was saying that her faith in journalists is gone because newspapers and magazines often print stories based on pure conjecture and facts are twisted and turned to such an extent that it seriously compromises the truth.
She had asked me to check an article. I won't go into details but the problem was that ethically the paper had not done anything wrong yet the facts were presented in such a way as to raise questions, speculations about the subject. It gave an allusion to a conflict which wasn't there.

Just like researchers, journalists are also supposed to do their research extensively and get their facts right. Those are the ground rules for a good journalist. You don't mess with facts.
However, the explosion of digital media has also compromised the profession of journalism. The facts may be right, alright but they are presented in such a way that you may lead the reader to a conclusion which is far from the truth. As opposed to a researcher, a journalist can always give an angle to a story that may lead the reader to draw their own conclusions. The deadline maybe just a few hours that presses the journalist to put the news on the web before others do. Often the news on the websites are not thoroughly researched because there is a short deadline.
One of the things that I find is missing in journalism today is the use of own conscience. There is so much pressure to sell a story or come up with a scoop that I wonder if journalists quell their own voice of conscience.
I won't deny that we are like vultures sometimes, looking to find meat in a story. Like a hawk we watch for a little slip of the tongue and any indication of a scandal. Yet, this can also lead to a journalist losing his/ her credibility if you ruthlesslessly use people you know for scoops and scandals. In the long run the journalists who command respect and credibility are the ones who have a clean conscience.

The digital and social media has also given access to a lot of people who use Blogs, Twitter and Facebook to present facts according to their own opinions. Yet, they cannot replace the role of journalists, who have access to reports and other information that may be very relevant for the case.

In Norway, journalists have a bigger responsibilty when it comes to writing about immigrants and foreigners. Media has a huge impact on people and the tragedy of 22 July only proves that we need impartial journalism that is not thinking of how many " hits" an article will get on the web.
In a world where more and more people are using the internett to either spread their ( false) propoganda or take digs at the media, it has become the need of the hour that journalists really do their jobs seriously. Otherwise the future of journalism is in jeopardy. As they say the pen is mightier than the sword but it has to be used just as wisely and with just as much conscience.