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“Imagining a life spent by the beach with every surfing adventure, a lifestyle that revolves around finding and riding wave after wave — knowing that that sort of high is simply within reach — and the utter simplified life, consciously relaxing your mind and forgetting all the other life matters as you paddle out to meet that wave you’re going to ride.

I’m no longer surprised why there are folks who choose to live to surf.”
– Siargao, uncovering the life in and around the ocean

I still wake up to the call of the waves, sometimes. Yes, my heart’s set on answering.

I’ll see you again, Siargao.

Trivia: Photo taken at Cloud 9, Siargao, Philippines; October 2011.

Explore:

• la Mère et l’Enfant
• The Pursuit of Love
• On My Way Home

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What is it that you fear losing the most?

Will it be choice or chance?

Sometimes, words fail me.

“No woman can call herself free until she can choose consciously whether she will or will not be a mother.” — Margaret Sanger

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• What if

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As I sit and look at this photo, there’s an influx of thoughts that fill my head. A constant stream of beginnings with no end. A pitiful case of bafflement. ‘Twas a state of lingering over equivocal alternate actuality.

What if –

.. I had said yes to that boy who had first asked for my heart, knowing that he already did have it in the first place?

.. I had taken that chance with the guy the morning I woke up in his arms?

.. I had told him it was truly him that inspired what I wrote?

.. I had never suggested that we have coffee together?

.. or that we still did but grabbed that moment which I felt right to kiss him?

.. I never got around to writing these things down?

Like how my future will turn out, I really will never have the answers. I’ll never see things as clearly as I should. Not really. I can only hope for a clue, a sign, a nudge.

“The story’s old, I know, but it goes on.”

Trivia: Photo taken at Caleruega, Nasugbu, Batangas, Philippines; February 2011.

Explore:

• Carved Memories
• The beauty of being empty
• Anonymity and an open letter

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“Did they give you more than your life could keep? Can you walk away from all that you know?”

It’s the difficult questions that we should be mindful of. Pray that you’d be wide awake when you stumble on precious moments that would seek to define you. May it be love or life in a strange land, make the conscious step on a path — new or worn — towards a future you’d want to see yourself in. Opting for the manner that depicts your character, or embrace the force that can mold it. You just need something to get you back on your feet again.

Trust that all will be well if it seems like it still isn’t.

Trivia: Photo inspired by the significance of the dandelion between Katniss and Peeta in the book, The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, taken in Adelaide, Australia; May 2011

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Though I am blinded by life’s occasional flared lights, there is certainty in this inkling. I am on my way home. It’s like knowing that as long as you know where your North is, you’ll find your bearings stable enough to bring you where you’re supposed to be. I’ve taken the much longer route than most folks — wrong turns and hitting potholes — I’ve finally reached a crossroad that with just a flip of a coin, I’ve reached a more definite decision.

I am where I should be.

Trivia: Taken with an iPod Touch camera (MrTots) using the Instagram application as I was walking home from the train station one late fall afternoon in Adelaide, South Australia; April 2011).

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Of friendships and trips. Of love lost and found. Memories of individual lives etched on wood.

Running your fingers over the dented and misshaped surface, you smile. Speculate on what induced these people to carve shapes and letters on an unsuspecting timber. The need to leave a mark quite evident, however subversive and juvenile a deed. There’s a certain romance in the undertaking, the youthful mindset and guileless design.

Damn the callowness and just savour the gaiety of it. Perhaps, one day, I’ll yield to leaving a memory carved on wood.

Then again, maybe not.

“.. there is a poem called ‘Loss’ carved into the stone. It has three words, but the poet has scratched them out. You cannot read Loss, only feel it.” — Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha

Trivia: Photo taken at Caleruega, Nasugbu, Batangas, Philippines; February 2011.

Explore:

• The beauty of being empty

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Trudging through life with the knowledge that this bit of space I occupy is lost in the colossal tract where a million of other folks, who are seemingly larger than life, with voices louder and more significant than mine, reside in. Sometimes, I wish to remain in the shadows, but there are times when I do seek to scale the canyon and challenge the norm. If only my courage won’t fail me each time I take that first step.

It always comes back to being someone ordinary wanting to be extraordinary; constantly failing, sometimes succeeding. Subdued by the ache, freed by the pen. So, thus I write.

I write a letter.

Dear kind sir,

Always a friend,
Sasha

Trivia: A little photo experiment on masking identity; Photo taken in Caleruega, Nasugbu, Batangas, Philippines; February 2011.

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Just passed the threshold that separates the ordinary from that appointed day of hearts. Time passed with the full knowledge that, once again, twas spent alone. Only difference is, this year, I absolutely didn’t mind it at all.

Romance. It’s not there all the time but definitely something I wouldn’t mind being present. Scarcity makes it all the more precious. The source of uncontrollable smiles and laughter, the warm feeling of being special, and the abundance of affection. Overrated or not, I still love falling in love.

It’s funny how people are undoubtedly affected by the search for a mate. A major part of our time spent in falling in love, being in love and everything else that comes with the territory. That’s the very essence of the occasion: a celebration of this life-long endeavour, the pursuit of love.

Trivia: Photo also seen here: Be My Valentine Lunch at Spiral; taken at Spiral, Sofitel Philippine Plaza in Pasay City, Philippines; February 2011.

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Emptiness is often associated with sad circumstances. Loss, abandonment, purposeless, desolate, uninhabited, barren, no life. Though these have merit, I’d rather spend time supposing something brighter, meaningful and good.

Sometimes, you do have to empty your hands to be able to hold on to something new. Looking at things from a different angle, hollowness can mean boundless opportunities, anticipated fullness, a worthwhile future, and yes, a certain level of freedom for expression.

Once in a while, we go through trying times that will bleed us dry, forlornly empty. Cheer up and move forward as opposed to keeping yourself housed in melancholy.

Trivia: Photo taken at Caleruega, Nasugbu, Batangas, Philippines using my new toys: a Canon 60D and a Lensbaby Composer with a Double Glass Optic; February 2011.

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Well, it is.

Imagine the fear building up as you queue up then as you get strapped in. The jolt as the fear gets released when you feel the introductory movement. The whirlwind of emotions that course through your being as you feel the vibrations of the speeding cart, feeling your breath catch on every dip and turn. You debate over wanting it to end and never end. When it does end, you find yourself bursting with the feeling of exhilaration and being winded, with only a blurred memory of a ride that lasted a couple of minutes. Despite the initial turmoil, you’re then wishing that the ride lasted longer than it did.

Can you imagine what it would feel like riding a rollercoaster at a slower pace?

As life moves at an uncontrollable rate of speed, events mesh into one big blur when viewed in hindsight. The dips, turns and occasional strapped in tumbles have now become a memory that’s, sometimes, too difficult to conjure. There’s a growing feeling that it’s going by too fast and I’m wishing things to slow down a bit but it’s out of my control. Hence, learning how to take everything in at its current stride, with the hope that I’m maximising what I can get out of the entire experience, is the least that I can do. I haven’t reached the end of this ride but I’d imagine that when I do get to the point when I need to get off it, I’ll be wishing it lasted longer than it did.

Trivia: Taken at Enchanted Kingdom, Sta. Rosa, Laguna, Philippines; January 2011.

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