SassySingleMama...learning to live, love and accept life!

Stats and comments...

2011-03-10T06:14:00.000-08:00

So in my goals to try and make this blog into a good website I have been keeping track of the stats allot more! Last month was by far the best since July of 2010! It made me wonder why no one is leaving comments for me. Maybe my posts aren't comment worthy or maybe the problem is no one wants to be the first comment...

What ever the reason is, I would like to personally thank the people for coming onto my blog and hopefully reading. Don't be shy with comments I love to hear opinions and feedback to what I have to say. I do not delete any comments unless they are just mean or putting down other commenter's for their opinions.

I love discussions and I would say my writing is getting better since the very beginning. If you'd prefer to talk private about how to either make my blog better or about how you feel about what I write then feel free to email me at sassysinglemama@aol.com!

Check out my new fan page on facebook

I am also on twitter

look forward to hearing from my readers very soon!

Am I crazy for moving in so early?

2011-03-10T06:00:00.000-08:00

When Brad and I first started talking about moving in together it was to be a slow process. He was going to move closer to Brentwood and on days I could sleep over I would. Then BD began talking about having the boys for 6 months before Hunter started school. This would allow BD to have serious quality time with the boys before we needed stricter guide lines for custody.

Of course Brad and I saw this as a perfect way to see how we would do living together before the kids were effected to much. I would only have my boys on weekends, Brads oldest would be in daycare all day and over either of his grandparents houses or his aunts and then Chase would have still only have been around on weekends. Yes the children would have become more attached to us, but, it wouldn't have been a total live in situation that couldn't have been mended if our short relationship wouldn't have worked out.

We began looking into small 2 bedroom apartments and then BD began having trouble with child care. Brad and I knew we needed a larger place!

The apartment search turned into 3 bedrooms or full houses with back yards. I don't drive, yet Brad started looking into areas I would have no transportation. There seemed to be fighting every two seconds about apartments, houses, locations and money but I chalked it up to stress that would soon disappear.

Luckily i seem to be right so far. Brad and i couldn't be happier and the boys are having some difficulty but for the most part very happy and becoming friends.

Brad is wonderful with the kids...

Brad getting beat up by Damian

The boys have loads of toys and movies

Toys in Boys room

Extra cub bard space full of taps

Extra cub bard space full of books and games

So no I do not feel I am crazy for this huge goat F*** i walked into...

Wordless Wednesdays: Our First Home Together

2011-03-09T06:00:00.000-08:00

The Living Room

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but the moments that take our breath away...

The Boys Room

The Dining Room

The Bath Room

The Kitchen

My Bedroom

Fun activities to get kids ready for school.

2011-03-08T07:33:00.000-08:00

So Hunter is starting school this year! Oh how they grow too fast for my taste. Now I will not lie, I have kind of been putting off the school work thing. It isn't like I don't want to prepare him, its more that I keep thinking to myself "he has another year" "oh he is fine I just need him to calm down first"...so on and so forth!

The fact is he is 4 now and is ready to start kindergarten in SEPTEMBER! On top of it, Bradley is 5 and ready to start school as well. Hunter is so thrilled to have a friend to join in school and I think it might help him out alot to have another child to do homework with and practice writing and spelling as they get older.

So now it is crunch time for little man!

We have hundreds of books and activities laying around the house. We have great websites for ideas on learning activities like notimeforflashcards.com.

Do you have any awesome ideas to get kids ready for school? I want to hear about them!

I am also adding a new page to my site which will only be pictures of Hunter, Bradley, Damian and Chase doing fun activities. If i think of the activity then of course i will type up how to do them, but if i find it online i will post the link to that specific page for now on.

So our first activity will be shamrock flowers! which you can see here

I look forward to the out come!

"Allison McDonald is the founder and editor of notimeforflashcards.com. She has been teaching children in various capacities since 1993. Her son’s birth brought her home but her love of teaching and helping other parents sparked the idea for No Time For Flash Cards."

Read her full bio and the other writers here

Quicky: family keeps getting larger

2011-03-07T08:34:00.000-08:00

In order from left to right: Chase, Bradley, Hunter and Damian

I keep meaning to do a good post for everyone so they get a better picture of what is going on in my life. If you follow me on twitter or facebook then you have an grasp of what is going on...cys, child support, child custody, BD issues, bio mom issues, new family, and kids interacting. Unfortunately i don't have the time to really sit down anymore with school, home life, drama and trying to make everyone comfortable.

Basically to summarize what is happening with the family getting larger goes like this

BD is showing signs that I may have full custody of the kids with him possibly losing the house, having health issues and not having a job. If history repeats itself then my boys will be yet another of 5 kids totally who don't know their father.

Bio mom had a nervous break down and lost custody of her kids through CYS two months ago. Because of PA being an obvious women's state still, cys did no search for Brad and left it at B-moms word that the father is not in the child's life. Don't worry when B-mom had another break down sunday the 27 of march she told Brad everything which allowed Brad to get the ball quickly moving to have Baby Chase back in our home on March 2nd. March 15th is Brads custody hearing to receive full custody and hopefully get Bio mom completely out of the picture so she cant do any more psychological damage...

Doesn"t chase look just like Brad?

What a life I lead

Quicky: Moving in and settling

2011-02-23T15:30:00.000-08:00

Well today I just wanted to do a quick hello and to let you all know Brad, Bradley, Hunter, Damian and I are getting along well with the move! Finally after so long the move is accomplished and the house is almost done! A few fixes here and there but other then that, i can finally say, we are home.

Brad is great with my boys. I love watching the important men in my life on the floor wrestling and getting along. The three boys that live with us full time are great friends already...well kind of! Poor Damian has been kicked out of the playing a few times by Bradley and Hunter but that is to be expected since Damian is the youngest. Hopefully if the custody hearing goes well Damian will have little Chase to play with soon.

I guess that is about all for today. I need to spend sometime with Brad while we have a few hours alone...

Life in pictures

2011-02-18T12:24:00.000-08:00

I like to document EVERYTHING! I believe I got this from my mother who video recorded and snuck pictures of my bloody stomach while Hunter was born. Yes those pictures are not for the weak of stomaches.

anyways so i was taking all my pictures from online and off my phone and throwing them onto my computer. It has come to my attention i have millions of pictures of "R"

Baby Daddy which i will not post

Frake i even have pictures of gifts men have tried getting in my pants with...

I have photos of our old puppy

But what i dont have are pictures of Brad and I! WTF is that shit? I need to get on the ball

Finally, Home Sweet Home

2011-02-18T09:46:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

After over 2 months of talking and looking at places, Brad and I have our first home together! There were times when I felt like we would never get to this point. 3 rejections, countless houses that didn’t fit our price range, a handful of houses that didn’t fit our family needs. This was by far the hardest house search I have ever gone through. I thought, maybe, our credit was just too horrible for a good house.

I had planned on talking to Brad about starting to search for duplexes instead of houses. Yes in Pittsburgh it seems the rent would be the same, but, we wouldn’t have as many utilities. I had my whole speech planned out for the moment Brad called to tell me we didn’t get this house. I kept going over it in my head, I knew I couldn’t make it seem as if I was putting him down, but it did have to come off as a need to be situation. I mean we were paying for our rejections! That shit adds up and we had a small moving price range that is carved in stone.

I was extremely pleased when Brad called, and told me we got the place. The best part was finding out both our credit scores are in the mid-600 range. Now when I researched I found out the 641-680 score is ok. Not the best, but far from the worst and we will be able to get decent interest rates on loans, even though it isn’t entirely desirable. I am actually pleased with this number since I figured I had horrible credit because of the bills I still owe from BD. So it looks like over the next year Brad and I will need to work together to get our scores in the 681-720 range where we will always be able to get loans easy and even lower interest rates. Wish us luck hehe…if you have any tips please let me know!

Enough about our finances, let’s talk about the house! So it is smallish, okay so it’s a damn ranch style with an unfinished basement and a half-finished attic! Fortunately, it is two bedrooms, but the one is just way too small for a queen size bed or two bunk beds. We decided to make that room our dining room and make the dining room Brad and my bedroom! I know it sounds kind of stupid but there could be potentially two weekends a month with 4 boys running around and sleeping over. We knew they had to have a master bedroom and I knew there was no way all my crap would fit in a small bedroom.

The Living room is beautiful, but small. So once again we are back to making other rooms into nice areas. Our unfinished basement will be turned into both our laundry room and our offices. We will be looking for a nice throw rug to cover up the concrete floor and then the half-finished attic could potentially become a nice play area for the kids when the land lord knocks out the walk in pantry in our kitchen and puts a stair case up instead.

I know what you are thinking. Jessica OMG you will lose so much storage space doing that! Don’t worry. By far the biggest room in the house is my kitchen! You have no idea how psyched I am to have a huge kitchen with seriously a whole lot of cabinets. I plan on making my new blog a huge success with all the recipes I will be making in the house. I already told Brad he and the kids will be my Ginny pigs hehe.

Pictures to come with probably a youtube video of the kids’ reaction to the new house! Look forward to the move coming very soon.

A letter to Billy Ray Cyrus

2011-02-15T20:44:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

Oh Billy. Poor poor Billy Ray..Disney destroyed your family? How could a TV show cause a divorce and send your innocent daughter, Miley Cyrus, spinning out of control?

In a December interview published in the Feb. 22 issue of GQ Magazine, you said you had wished the show had never happened.

Although I must say most child actors never grow up to be perfect adults, you should never blame others for your parenting mistakes!

YES Disney is a money making train, which you had already known! Yes Disney exploited the chance to make millions off your daughter. Her ego probably sky rocked when her tiny little fans turned into a larger fan base of pre-teens that couldn't wait to buy her latest clothing line at walmart.

I see another story here. Its a story of a washed up one hit country wonder! He had his day in the spot light, and enjoyed every second of it. He grew older, got married to a foxy MILF, and had a beautiful daughter. His stardom kept dwindling and those sexy woman who threw their panties at him became...well not your fantasy woman anymore. One day he looked up and saw his daughter pretending to be a star. She wanted to be just like daddy. He hurried up and called in favor after favor until finally he got his stardom back, in the disguise of a loving father hell bent on making his daughters dreams a reality.

Am I wrong? Why else would you be in her Disney show, or her movies, hell even her songs? Nope When I see you on the view or in tabloids, I honestly don't see Hannah Montana's great dad. You know a dad who wanted to make his daughters dreams come true but DIDN'T want her to lose her childhood.

The fact is Disney has a way of turning cute bubble gum into rancid sour patch kids, but to blame Mileys behavior on them is outrageous! Britney Spears, is the only really crazy out of control person to come out of Disney. Christina Aguilera had her bad girl moment, which is just part of teen hood and growing up, but now she stays out of the spot light and raising her own child. Hillery Duff, yet another Disney child, stayed true to her innocents.

Why do you think that is Billy?

Because their parents stayed out of the picture while keeping their foot down. They stayed parents and never became co workers or friends. I wonder how it feels to know your daughter bought your house and car. She pays for the gas in your car and the bills for the house. Hell she even pays for you to bring home the bacon that your wife cooks! Do you think you'd have any fame right now without her?

That is where you and your wife fucked up!

Sincerely,
SassySingleMama

Newest batman movie may be filmed right here in pittsburgh!!!!

2011-02-15T19:22:00.000-08:00

Image via Wikipedia

If the rumors are true, this summer don't be surprised to see actor Christian Bale rolling through pittsburgh in a Batmobile. Rumors are everywhere this week that the next "Batman" movie, "The Dark Knight Rises," will have some great scenes right here in my hometown!

Some great names are already set to star. Anne Hathaway will be Catwoman and Bale returns as the dark knight. Marion Cotillard is also said to have a role, but unknokwn whether she will play a romantic interest or a rival superhero to Cat Woman.

Monday's "Le Parisien" newspaper reported that Cotillard, who is expecting a baby in April, signed onto the "Batman" project Saturday in Paris. Reports suggest Cotillard will start shooting at London's Elstree Studios in mid-June, then move on to locations in Pittsburgh and Los Angeles this summer.

Director is none other then Christopher Nolan and costars include Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Tom Hardy, Michael Cain, Morgan Freeman and Gary Oldman
Filming is expected to wrap in New York in November, with the picture's release set for July 2012.

Dawn Keezer, president of the Pittsburgh Film Office, could not comment about whether the movie would be shot in Pittsburgh, but five feature films are scouting the area for projects this spring and summer and said 20th Century Fox Television last week started filming a pilot here for a new television series.

The first hurdle

2011-02-11T11:05:00.000-08:00

Image by wwarby via Flickr

In a relationship I believe you have lots of stages, but few hurdles.

Your first stage is lust, this is where you are madly intoxicated with the way he acts, dresses, smells and even how he presents himself. When he kisses you that first time your knees tremble and your heart skips a beat. When you go home from a date you smile and think of something he did that made you smile or maybe you laugh about how great he was when you did yet another clumsy thing.

After a few weeks you begin to see him in a new light. You hate being away from him, and to ease the time apart you find yourself daydreaming about him. Yes you have the nasty puppy dog syndrome. You have feeling for him, but you barely scratched the surface of knowing him. You see the potential in this new man but you are not quit ready to take things to the next level. (bringing him around the kids, sleepover nights...ect) At this point you are ready to dig a little deeper.

You begin talking to friends about him, you want their opinion, obviously. It hits you, you are ready for the committed relationship title. You start inviting him to friends parties, you have him over your house for dinners and a movie to see how he interacts with family. Now your questions are being answered and he is great with friends, family and your kids.

Things are going great, parents, friends and kids adore him and your feelings are getting stronger. Then it happens, an argument. Your first argument in fact, and things are looking grey. You question everything, but somehow you both change and learn something new.

Things begin to look up again and one night he does something fantastic and out of the blue. The word slip right out “I love you”. Was it real? Is this how you really feel? Wow you guys just made it to the next level. You two are madly in love, not just because of his looks and smells but also because of his flaws. You two support each other and become better people together.

So where was the first hurdle?

Moving in together!

This is where everything really changes. New flaws will emerge everyday, not even after the move in date, but before it! What is a nice apartment, shopping for things together, realizing you now have to answer to someone about your shoe addictions! You begin to question if it is the right time. You know you are in love but are you really ready to give up so much? He will now see you at your worst! What use to be hours here and there will be days, weeks, months, years together. We all know ladies we try and hold back a few flaws.
I am half way over this hurdle with Brad. We are searching for a house that is big enough for 2 adults and 4 spunky boys with energy that keeps going and going and going just like that fucking pink energizer bunny. It is begining to wear us down. We have seen quite a few houses and only one we liked, that one turned us down which really sucks monkey balls in the middle of summer.

Anyways

We are having issues and HE is beginning to look into very worn down places, dare I say the ghetto. I am spoiled, yes I know it is crazy to think, but I am. I was raised in a small borough minutes from downtown Pittsburgh. Seriously, it is a good school district, I had the comforts of a small town, walked anywhere I needed to be (library, park, pool, friends houses, SCHOOL) and I had the rustle and bustle of city life. It was awesome! Of course even the smallest communities have their down points and this one was heroin. I have never actually seen heroin but it is out there for teens. A lot of my school mates, I hear are now on the drug or on a different one. I guess I just got lucky with the group I hung out with.

Although I love my childhood memories, I couldn"t see myself raising children here,because like the places Brad is looking at, mine will be like that in a matter of years. Honestly I need to realize the communities that are better then mine are not a possibility unless we both work full time jobs along with part time jobs. The stress is getting to me, and Brad is getting to see a bitchy side of me he never saw before. The well spoken, open minded and positive Jessica is no longer available.

I fear if we cannot come up with a solution soon the first hurdle may be the end of our run.

Meeting the Family

2011-02-10T08:39:00.000-08:00

I don't know what it is exactly, but the thought of meeting a BF's family is nerve racking. I always have this horrible feeling in my stomach that says OMG they aren't going to like me! Then i think what if i don't like them? How do i tell my boyfriend I don't like his family? How do i steer clear of family time if they obviously don't like me? Lots and lots of questions.

The truth is I think men have it harder then woman when it comes to meeting family, but you still wonder about what kind of parents and siblings they are! Are they over protective, maybe close knit and hard to weave into the dynamics? Honestly so many things can go wrong, especially when you are nervous and trying to empress.

Last weekend i got to meet the family in stages. Saturday night Brad took me ice skating and after we went to his sisters house. I was pretty comfortable there and she was very nice. We had some beers and played a card game called ""ass-hole". After about an hour Brad went to grab some food, leaving me alone with his sister and a few others. So what did we talk about? the only thing I am really good at talking about...the apartment! I receive the grand tour along with a conversation about her moms blankets and Brads Ex's. I know seems like a lot for a first encounter but I'm not one to steer away from a conversation as juicy as Ex's girlfriends gone crazy.

When Brad got back with the food we all sat around playing video games...okay actually everyone else did and i watched. I'm sorry but i do not know how to play those damn things. It was fun none the less and i got invited over their mothers house the next day for dinner.

I had met Brads mom and step dad once before on my birthday...which just so happens to be her birthday too..Anyways i had met his mom for about an hour while Brad was trying to put his son to sleep before we left for a night out. She seemed nice and gave Brad her approval lol. So it wasn't as nerve racking as it could have been, but we talked and I was given the grad show case of her knitted blankets. She got to see Brad and I's comforter for our bed. We get to look forward to a nice blanket to match along with blankets for my boys!

The next day I got the run down and his sister and mom both think I am a perfect match for Brad...here is hoping they are right and that the move goes as planned.

Oh and dont forget lets hope meeting my family goes just as good!

Yea...no...that is my family...RIGHT THERE

Bio mom from H..E...double hockey sticks

2011-01-28T18:15:00.000-08:00

So right after beginning my blog I had a not so happy guest post on cafe smom great website. To say the least i got a lot of responses saying i am crazy, and that I am just another controlling bio mom.

well that is true! To a degree haha but that is not the point of this post today!

Today is about saying my apologies and explaining my new found respect for Smoms everywhere!

I have nothing but wonderful and independent Bio moms around me. We work our butts off to care for our kids and keep the relationships between our kids and their fathers as close as possible, but the stories are true...there are skin crawling woman out there who shouldn't have children!

the story in a nut shell

Brad has two kids a 5 year old with a woman who walked out of his life at a very young age. Then Brad has a 2 year old whose mother is...well...self centered...ya know to say it politely...

So miss Self-centered likes to believe Brad is a taxi/baby sitter! Now obviously with my guest post you would assume that means i think Brad should but that isn't the case. I believe a father should be around for emergencies not everyday rides to work. This story is so old school though. She has taken the next steps in an attempt to keep Brad under her thumb.

Miss Self-centered threatened to move their son to Colorado new years eve and to help make the story line seem real she quit her job! Brad obviously became frantic trying to figure out how to stop her from moving, new years eve he went to her house and they came up with jobs and ways to make her life easier. He was feeling very happy and i was happy that he was.

The happiness didn't last long

One weekend she threatened to hold their son from Brad because he had no way of watching him a night she wanted to go out. That weekend he added a few activities to keep him preoccupied since he didn't believe Miss self-centered was keeping him. She became furious when he said it wasn't a possibility now and she should know better...did i tell you she is 30?

So she has decided to take Brad for child support (totally in her right) but also has moved and changed her number. Brad hasn't seen his son in 2 weeks! It is killing him and honestly driving me nuts cause that kids is just the cutest thing ever.

So what is a girlfriend to do? She hates me...she hates that Brad is happy...She hates when i pay for play dates! I have never met her but in her eyes i am a bitch...no seriously she calls me the bitch.

All i do is worry for Brad and ask him how he is doing with it all...I'm so proud of him though. Because hopefully he is getting the last laugh! In an attempt to ensure he sees his child he is filling paperwork for custody of little man...hopefully the child support hearing will be postponed till after the custody hearing and that he can legally use her apartment address that is still in her name even though she is hiding somewhere.

So to all the Smoms again I am sorry for my guest post and believing anything can be handled through talking. I feel for you all even though i am not a Smom (yet) i now know how easy it is to become resentful of bio moms and there games. I hope everything will work out for Brad and I hope i can open my eyes to a world that is very unfamiliar

New Years Resolutions

2011-01-28T16:43:00.000-08:00

Okay So we are almost one whole month into 2011, and i am now only getting around to one of my many new years resolutions....I'm a bad blogger

But that's what this new years is about...learning to love myself and become a new woman...to love my life and hopefully love what i do.

So here is goes my list of 2011 new years resolutions

1) Lose my social phobias...Sometimes I can be an out going person and other times I am a shy keep to myself person. It is getting very annoying, and even worse, I change depending on the people I am around! NO MORE I want to be the fun loving Jessica all the time

2) Become a spontaneous and life loving person...I want to see life through a child's eyes...I want to take every advantage, no matter how scary or new. I want to wake up in the mornings with a smile on my face no longer dreading the day.

3) change my outward appearance...hair..makeup..clothes...and fitness! Everyday i want to look in the mirror and be happy with what i see...not longer wondering if this is really me!

4) Find a job i truly enjoy instead of taking a job that looks good

5) Find patience. I hate waiting...i hate saying things a million times over...I can no longer try and control everyone around me..i can only control myself and the way i react

6) Better my health...Oh yea i love junk food, sugar, salt, alcohol, and cigarettes. I know I'm a bad mom but it is time to change that...and hope Brad goes along with it

7) Move into a home with Brad and his oldest child

So what do you think?

lots of things to do in 2011 but the good news is I'm already working on a few things!

I got a awesome new hair cut and streaks of blonde from my BFF Cierra...Thanks girl

Me and Brad are looking at mid-February for a move in date

and

I have a few applications in for awesome evening hours

Happy Belated new years everyone..hope you all follow my transformation of 2011