Satirista

"If you’re a boy writer, it’s a simple rule: you’ve gotta get used to the fact that you suck at..."

Sun, 06 Oct 2013 13:30:33 -0400

“

If you’re a boy writer, it’s a simple rule: you’ve gotta get used to the fact that you suck at writing women and that the worst women writer can write a better man than the best male writer can write a good woman. And it’s just the minimum. Because the thing about the sort of heteronormative masculine privilege, whether it’s in Santo Domingo, or the United States, is you grow up your entire life being told that women aren’t human beings, and that women have no independent subjectivity. And because you grow up with this, it’s this huge surprise when you go to college and realize that, “Oh, women aren’t people who does my shit and fucks me.”

And I think that this a huge challenge for boys, because they want to pretend they can write girls. Every time I’m teaching boys to write, I read their women to them, and I’m like, “Yo, you think this is good writing?” These motherfuckers attack each other over cliche lines but they won’t attack each other over these toxic representations of women that they have inherited… their sexist shorthand, they think that is observation. They think that their sexist distortions are insight. And if you’re in a writing program and you say to a guy that their characters are sexist, this guy, it’s like you said they fucking love Hitler. They will fight tooth and nail because they want to preserve this really vicious sexism in the art because that is what they have been taught.

And I think the first step is to admit that you, because of your privilege, have a very distorted sense of women’s subjectivity. And without an enormous amount of assistance, you’re not even going to get a D. I think with male writers the most that you can hope for is a D with an occasional C thrown in. Where the average women writer, when she writes men, she gets a B right off the bat, because they spent their whole life being taught that men have a subjectivity. In fact, part of the whole feminism revolution was saying, “Me too, motherfuckers.” So women come with it built in because of the society.

It’s the same way when people write about race. If you didn’t grow up being a subaltern person in the United States, you might need help writing about race. Motherfuckers are like ‘I got a black boy friend,’ and their shit sounds like Klan Fiction 101.

The most toxic formulas in our cultures are not pass down in political practice, they’re pass down in mundane narratives. It’s our fiction where the toxic virus of sexism, racism, homophobia, where it passes from one generation to the next, and the average artist will kill you before they remove those poisons. And if you want to be a good artist, it means writing, really, about the world. And when you write cliches, whether they are sexist, racist, homophobic, classist, that is a fucking cliche. And motherfuckers will kill you for their cliches about x, but they want their cliches about their race, class, queerness. They want it in there because they feel lost without it. So for me, this has always been the great challenge.

As a writer, if you’re really trying to write something new, you must figure out, with the help of a community, how can you shed these fucking received formulas. They are received. You didn’t come up with them. And why we need fellow artists is because they help us stay on track. They tell you, “You know what? You’re a bit of a fucking homophobe.” You can’t write about the world with these simplistic distortions. They are cliches. People know art, always, because they are uncomfortable. Art discomforts. The trangressiveness of art has to deal with confronting people with the real. And sexism is a way to avoid the real, avoiding the reality of women. Homophobia is to avoid the real, the reality of queerness. All these things are the way we hide from encountering the real. But art, art is just about that.

”

- Junot Diaz speaking at Word Up Bookshop, 2012 (via clambistro)

spotastic: Come check out The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre...

Thu, 12 Sep 2013 23:07:21 -0400

spotastic:

Come check out The Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre Touring Company at this weekends Mumford & Sons Gentlemen of the Road Stopover Festival. Improvised Comedy for your brains! Friday 11pm & 12:30am, Saturday 10pm & 10:45pm at Colonial Quarter, 33 St. George Street. #gotrstaug #gentlemenoftheroad

So excited! Bombardo & Spo together at last.

I’m Not Bloated; It’s Just the Growing Tapeworm I Swallowed to Lose Weight.

Fri, 06 Sep 2013 07:47:06 -0400

I’m Not Bloated; It’s Just the Growing Tapeworm I Swallowed to Lose Weight.:

I wrote this for McSweeney’s.

An Ode to The 2012-2013 Magnet Sketch Teams Just a year ago, I...

Wed, 04 Sep 2013 15:07:28 -0400

An Ode to The 2012-2013 Magnet Sketch Teams

Just a year ago, I had the pleasure of being involved in the creation of the Magnet Theater’s first official house sketch teams. Sadly, we will now be retiring all of these teams in order to make way for a new phase of the sketch program. As a little homage to everyone who’s helped to grow the program this year, I wrote blurbs about all the teams we’ve come to love:

Dispacho

This group had delightfully simple and patient character pieces, that built to really well-earned laughs. There were some incredibly committed performances on this team (Ingrid Ostby as a frustrated straight man, Alex Marino as eccentrics, Ruby Marez’s dramatic women, to name a few) as well as more delightfully silly offerings (Adam Twitchell’s constant bewilderment, Todd Schaeffer’s earnest yet unhinged characters, and Bob Kern’s lovable goons). I’m sure these performances owe a lot to director Russ Armstrong.

Risky Bottom

This team had a really “nice people” vibe. I can only imagine the enthusiasm they brought to shows was influenced by their director, Chet Siegel. They displayed some of the most developed character work from people like Jana Schmieding and Lauren Olsen, hilarious and heartfelt songs by Gretchen Poole, Matt Wassung, and Matt Antonucci, and indispensible straight-man performances by Joe Lepore and Janie Stolar. They had some of the most absurd yet captivating sketches around.

Jacktown

In spite of the turnover on this team, their shows managed to keep a fairly consistent vibe throughout the year. I loved the darker sketches that set them apart from other teams. They also had something of a “loveable slacker” vibe with sketches that delivered a lot of laughs despite their paired-down, no-frills style, with an above average rotation of workplace or dinner table scenes. Thanks to Director Christian Paluck, performances were grounded in reality with clearly defined premises and big emotional builds. I also think they did more super hero sketches than any other team (though Dispacho may have come close).

Fat Kids

The newest of the teams, Fat Kids had their own signature style and energy from the get go. I can best describe their style as “lovable weirdo.” They were comfortable going for juvenile jokes in sketches that involved farting dolphins, offensive game show premises, and mentions of “jerk-off conventions.” Their enthusiasm and hard work was also reflected in their videos and their signature animated intro. This is the type of team that could only have been directed by one or more of the Matt Weirs.

Breakfast for Dinner

I’ve directed BFD for the past year and I’ve rarely had the pleasure of working with a group of people who enjoyed each other’s company so much. Sketch discussions almost always veered off into unproductive tangents that paradoxically kept meetings fun and productive. BFD had an irrepressible love of gratuitous props, costumes, and cues. Everyone on this team has a certain nerdiness and reckless abandon that I think helped them to really gel together. I could go on and on about them as individuals but for the sake of space I’ll say that they all seemed to recognize and make really great use of each others unique strengths and abilities. They were always on board for each other’s ideas, creating themes, runners, and dance routines for shows that defined their unique kooky style.

I’ve really enjoyed each of these teams and the unique flavors they’ve brought to the Magnet stage. I wish I had time to fully applaud every individual, but I want to thank everyone involved for helping this program to grow by leaps and bounds in the past year. I encourage anyone reading this to come out and support all these teams on their final Best of shows on September 8th.

The 100 Best Websites For Women, 2013

Tue, 20 Aug 2013 12:09:44 -0400

The 100 Best Websites For Women, 2013:

The fourth annual roundup of the best of the web for women. Compiled by Forbes staffers, contributors and members of the ForbesWoman community.

Finally, Forbes is taking note of some of my important business work at Reductress. Take note women and menvestors.

8 Excellent Women’s Websites You Should Be Reading Right Now (And Weren’t Invented By Bryan Goldberg)

Thu, 15 Aug 2013 11:47:47 -0400

8 Excellent Women’s Websites You Should Be Reading Right Now (And Weren’t Invented By Bryan Goldberg):

Bustle.com founder put his foot in his mouth by claiming there are no good womens websites–here’s 8 of them we highly recommend. Plus, you know, us.

The Gloss mentions Reductress in their list of 8 women’s websites you should be reading. Thanks for the PR, Bryan Goldberg!

Man Creates Very First Website for Women Ever

Thu, 15 Aug 2013 11:45:54 -0400

Man Creates Very First Website for Women Ever:

Bryan Goldberg, founder of the high-trafficked sports site Bleacher Report, has launched Bustle, a website for women. Goldberg, who has raised $6.5 million to launch the site, will be the companys CEO, but the site will be edited, written, and read by women, focusing on the issues that women care…

Reductress gets a quick mention in Slate’s takedown of Bryan Goldberg’s launch of Bustle.

Louder Than Bombs Episode Nine: Beth Newell

Wed, 07 Aug 2013 11:39:29 -0400

Louder Than Bombs Episode Nine: Beth Newell:

Beth Newell (Reductress.com) stops by for a chat. We get a little tipsy and end up talking about all sorts of things that we might regret one day in the very near future. Not really; but we do talk about lots of stuff including comedy, sketch writing, boys, comedy, John Lennon and his two most important relationships (Paul McCartney and Yoko), comedy, and an unusual use for tampons.

I had so much fun doing the Louder than Bombs podcast with Sherry Parnes!

Introducing Reductress

Wed, 07 Aug 2013 11:37:56 -0400

Introducing Reductress :

Reductress featured on Refinery29.

Take The Piss Out Of Women's Mags With Reductress

Wed, 07 Aug 2013 11:36:19 -0400

Take The Piss Out Of Women's Mags With Reductress:

The Irony and the Ecstasy with Reductress founders Beth Newell & Sarah Pappalardo. Words: Anna Graizbord

Anna Graizbord interviewed Sarah and I for Stark.

Reductress: The Official Fundraiser

Thu, 11 Jul 2013 16:23:27 -0400

Reductress: The Official Fundraiser:

Think satire of women’s media is cool? See what we can do with a full site overhaul.

Please donate a few bucks so we can expand the site, sustain our operating costs, and keep promoting funny women in comedy.

reductress: thenastygal: Reductress Check out the Nasty...

Sat, 29 Jun 2013 10:32:20 -0400

reductress:

thenastygal:

Reductress

Check out the Nasty Gal Blog for a very important interview with the Editors.

One Thing New - Satire for the Rest of Us

Tue, 21 May 2013 11:19:51 -0400

One Thing New - Satire for the Rest of Us:

Sarah Pappalardo and Beth Newell both have backgrounds doing sketch comedy. Newell also did a stint at The Onion. Now, together, they’re using their powers for good. In May, the pair launched Reductress, a web site that satirizes all that’s ridiculous about so-called women’s media.

9 Questions With The Editors Of Reductress

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:03:05 -0400

9 Questions With The Editors Of Reductress:

The creators of the new satirical woman’s magazine answered some questions about what it means to get your news “feminized.”

Buzzfeed interview.

Meet the women behind Reductress, the feminist Onion

Tue, 07 May 2013 17:01:46 -0400

Meet the women behind Reductress, the feminist Onion:

An interview Sarah Pappalardo and I did with The Daily Dot.

Meet Reductress: The Women's Magazine Parody We've Been Waiting For | Bitch Media

Tue, 07 May 2013 16:59:42 -0400

Meet Reductress: The Women's Magazine Parody We've Been Waiting For | Bitch Media:

An interview I did for Bitch Magazine.

Reductress

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:06:42 -0400

Reductress:

Women’s News. Feminized.

The website Sarah Pappalardo and I (and many others) have been slaving away at for months, is finally live–Reductress: The one and only fake women’s news magazine. Please check it out!

KPP in The American Reader

Wed, 26 Sep 2012 21:37:47 -0400

KPP in The American Reader:

I am mentioned in this article about my improv show at The Magnet Theater, :Kiss*Punch*Poem:.

“Improviser Beth Newell introduces us to a Glinda more befitting of the longform genre, one who is shopping a detective screenplay around Oz….”

Tomorrow night!

Sat, 11 Aug 2012 10:58:09 -0400

Tomorrow night!

Video Game Designer Seeks Roommate

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 13:20:53 -0400

Video Game Designer Seeks Roommate:

A humor piece I wrote for The Bygone Bureau.