Saucy Sarcasm & Sassy Sugar

Twit Pic

2012-02-16T06:25:00.004-08:00

If you follow me on twitter you would have seen this picture I posted the other day. If you don't, my handle is @KellyLHumlan.

This picture and saying is a reminder on bad days that if Britney spears can make it through shaving her head, hitting paparazzi with an umbrella and other bat sh!$ crazy things she did in 2007, I can make it through this day, this week!!

Remember, your bad days could be worse, it could be Britney's 2007!!!

Valentine's Day Humor- A Day Late

2012-02-15T07:22:00.000-08:00

Yesterday I sent an email with the picture below to some co-workers. My caption was, "What are the odds that their human mother is single?"

Some day after Valentine's day humor. Can't go wrong with dear 'ol Maxine!!

What is Love

2012-02-14T20:39:00.004-08:00

Today is Valentine's Day, what does it mean to you?

I know many single people dread this day, and mostly because they focus on the wrong things (I was there once). Instead making Valentine's Day the focus on relationships, make the focus about LOVE.

Love for your family, Love for your friends, pets, life....

If you don't have someone special to spend the day with, just think there may be a pet at the shelter thinking the same thing or an elderly person at the nursing home. The happiest you'll ever be in life is when you share your love to someone else. Not just a spouse, but everyone you come in contact with. Sharing your love to someone that has nothing, brings love and light into both of your lives.

So instead of focusing on not having a boyfriend or husband sending you flowers and gift, focus on what really matters in this world....LOVE.

Valentine's day is special to me for three reasons-

First, in 2008, I was single. I was at work, not really caring about the day, and certainly not expecting any type of delivery. I got a call from the receptionist that I had a delivery. I went downstairs to find a vase with three roses and a balloon, with a card showing they were from my Daddy. I was floored, he'd never sent me flowers before.

Second, since I was seeing my sister for our annual birthday trip at the end of January 2009, I decided to give my sister a Valentine's card for my dad since I would be liable to forget to mail it. Early Sunday morning of that trip my sister and I got a call to come home, my dad had an accident. Thursday of that same week we buried him. In his hands I placed that Valentine's day card. I had already written and sealed the card before that Sunday call.

Third, when we were cleaning out his vehicles at somepoint, I found a Valentine's day card he'd already bought for me, but hadn't been signed and sealed. The message on the card screamed that it was for me...it was quite funny. We certainly thought alike! Valentine's Day card for each other way early...I was a Daddy's girl and loved (and love) that man dearly.

So Valentine's Day holds a special day in my heart. Hope you have a special day and share your love with someone.

My Lover....

2012-02-12T17:31:00.000-08:00

What you might not know, is that I have a lover. My husband knows about the relationship, so

it's okay. Sometimes this secret relationship is healthy for me, and sometimes I know that its just soooo bad that it's good.

My lover's name is called Kit...It's short for KitchenAid. Out time together is usually fun and magical.

For Valentine's day, I decided to make a pink ombre cake. I made a cake similar this summer for a friends birthday, but it was lots of different colors.

I make cakes from scratch. I am not knocking box mix cakes, I have a couple in the pantry for emergency needs...you know late at night when I am craving cake!! Most of the time, I pull out everything and start from nothing. I pulled the cake mix and icing from two different places.

The cake layers came from a book titled Delightfully Southern Recipes by: Lucy M. Clark. My Grandmother gave me this book several years ago, and it's got some good stuff. The Icing came from the KitchenAid Manual's recipe section. It's the best damn chocolate icing you'll ever have!!

1-2-3-4 Cake Layers

1 cup butter

2 cups sugar

4 eggs

3 cups flour

1/2 tsp salt

3 tsp baking powder

1 cup milk

1 tsp vanilla extract

Blend butter and sugar until light and fluffy (I softened butter for 5 sec. in the microwave, but you don't have to). Add eggs one at a time, beating after each just until egg color disappears. Sift flour once, add salt and baking powder and sift a second time. Add dry ingredients alternately with milk. Stir in vanilla and pour into 3 layer cake pans and bake at 350 until light brown, about 25 minutes. Cool in pans for about 10 minutes and turn out on rack to finish cooling.

Kelly Notes- I made four thinner layers for this cake. The one I did this summer, I did a cake making and a half for 6 layers. I cooked each layer for about 20 minutes instead of the full 25.

Chocolate Frosting

1 cup butter, softened

2 tbsp light corn syrup

4 cups powdered sugar

2 squares (1 oz. each) unsweetened chocolate, melted

These instruction are specific to the stand mixer speed. Place butter in mixer bowl. Attached bowl and flat beater to mixer. Turn to speed 4 and beat about 1.5 minutes. or until creamy. Stop and scrape bowl. Add corn syrup. Turn to speed 2 and mix well. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to Stir speed. Gradually add powdered sugar, mixing until blended. Turn to speed 4 and beat about 1 minute. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to speed 2. Slowly add melted chocolate and mix about 1.5 minutes. Stop and scrape bowl. Turn to speed 4 and beat about 1 minute.

Final instruction I give you is...just lick the beaters...you'll thank me!!!

So a day later I realized I didn't share my secrets of the colored layers. This one was easy, as I started with a few drops of red, mixed it well and poured some batter into a round cake pan. I then added more drops of red for a darker color, then poured some batter into another cake pan. The process just repeats until you are out of batter. The one I did this summer with 6 different colors was a PROCESS!! Six bowls of equal batter mixed with desired colors. The ombre is SOOO much easier since its just a process of adding more after each pour.

The world is your rainbow...might as well eat it!!

30

2012-01-31T22:49:00.000-08:00

Most people are sad when they hit the milestone of their 30th birthday. NOT ME! For some reason, I have taken thirty to be a reason to embrace who I really am. BE ME!

If I want to wear sequins to dinner on a Saturday night for no reason other than because I want to wear sequins...by darn...I'm wearing sequins.

Most people have circumstances to bringing them to understand themselves, appreciate themselves, love themselves (in a good way, not conceited way), and enjoy being the human being that God made them. There is no circumstance, just a number. 30. I guess after the first 30 years, I realized, I am who God made me. I am who I am:

I can be a tom boy, I can be a girly girl.

I can be a potty mouth, I can hymn singer.

I can be airheaded, I can be pull together.

I can be country, I can be city.

I can be quiet, I can be loud.

I can be reserved, I can be outgoing.

I can drink wine, I can do shots.

I can be a minimalist, I can be gaudy.

I can be caring, I can be catty.

I am a lot of things and well if you don't like it, I am so sorry, I can't help you on that, seems to me you have a problem with not being accepting of yourself.

I am proud of the woman I have become over the past 30 years. Those years have been filled with heart break, heartache, proud moments, sad moments, life shattering moments, and happy moments. Each one of those moments brought me to where I currently am. I can't change the past as much as I would like. I have to accept the dice that God threw for me. It's like being at the craps table....some times you crap out, and then there you go rolling your number and making bank on the odds.

30....Bring it Beeeyotch!!

Birthday Trip 2012

2012-01-26T06:05:00.000-08:00

I'll talk more about this later, but I wanted to post my new favorite picture of us three. I did everyone's hair this night. I think we all look bellissimo!!

2012

2012-01-02T22:16:00.000-08:00

Every New Year I sing the words from Rent in my head....

525,600 minutes

How do you measure- measure a year?

In Daylights - In Sunsets - In Midnights - In Cups Of Coffee- In Inches - In Miles- In Laughter - In Strife

We seem to not think about the year we just lived until it's over. In 2011, I got married and our family grew by one dog. It was a fantastic year. Was it the best yet? I don't know. I don't like when people say, "It was the best year of my life!" How do you know that? You can't know that until your life is over. That's the blessing with a new year, it's a clean slate to see what God has in store for you. It could be a bad year to show you that good years are ahead and to not take the good years in the past for granted. 2009 was by bad year, and it was devestatingly bad, heartbreakingly sad, and unfortuntately not forgettable. That's why God give us the next year, start fresh and the opportunity to love more, give more, and learn from the year behind. We keep on the circle of learning until we are at our end.

I've decided not to have a yearly resolution, because face it, who makes it past February with those. I've decided that I will have 52 weekly resolutions. Each week a new feat.

Week 1- Work out 5 days

Week 2- No soda

Week 3-52- haven't decided yet. I'll just see what needs to be resolved in my life week to week.

I believe this is going to be more attainable, at least I hope so.

I hope everyone lives 2012 to the best of there ability...you only get one '12- MAKE IT COUNT!

What's your favorite Color?

2011-11-12T10:10:00.000-08:00

My absolutely favorite color is green. It looks good on me because I'm a red head. What is it about green and red hair that goes well together besides looking like I am celebrating Christmas whenever I wear it.

I'm honestly shocked I don't own more green items. I think I keep myself from going overboard, so I hold back a great deal. This picture on People this morning had my head spinning...this dress that Gwen Paltrow is wearing is G-O-R-G-E-O-U-S!!

Now if I could afford it and find somewhere to wear it I'd be set. Until then I will stare longingly at it green with envy.

Speaking of green, how awesome is this vintage stove I found on pinterest. I would love to have it, but it would never fit my design style, but man, it's that's awesome.

Here is a photo that reminds me of my childhood. It's my grandfather's truck that's parked under the barn back home. I have many funny memories from growing up about that big green truck!

What's your favorite color?

It's the Final Countdown

2011-11-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

....To the Bahamas!!

This is for our yearly birthday trip with my sister and our mutual bestie. I'm super excited. We are flying to Miami, jumping on a BIG A$$ boat and floating to the Bahamas. I am super excited. I really shouldn't be this excited considering this will be my 30th birthday. When you celebrate your birthday with a trip with your two most favorite women then you have reason to be happy, no matter the age number.

We started this tradition back in 2006. Instead of birthday gifts and Christmas gifts, we spend the money on a weekend trip each year. That way we are guaranteed to spend at least one weekend a year all together.

Oh, I can hear paradise calling.... I need to answer this call. Paradise told me...." I guh see you on duh beach."

Saturday Night Activities

2011-11-06T06:59:00.000-08:00

My Saturday night in pictures...

(A Stuart Woods book)

(Dark Hot Chocolate via Kuerig and the new Real Simple)

(Cold night by the fire, wrapped in a blanket)

Tonight got me to thinking about Friday and Saturday nights when I was younger. You know, when you had to get dressed up, go out to loud, smokey bars and yell at your friends because carrying on a conversation in normal voice tone is out of the question.

Good lawd I'm glad I'm beyond that. That was exhausting!! Also I'm glad I'm married, because if I hadn't have met my husband several years ago, I'm afraid that I would be single forever because I would never leave my house to meet people.

Tonight is a good example why being an old married fart is a good thing.

For The Record

2011-11-05T11:00:00.000-07:00

Do you believe in signs? Miranda Lambert's new album For the Record was released on November 1, 2011. (11/1/11), the same day as what would have been Daddy's 58th birthday. One of her songs on the new album brings out a lot of emotions, just read the lyrics....

"OVER YOU"

(The story behind the song is that it's about Blake Shelton's brother who died in a car accident)

Weather man said it's gonna snow

By now I should be used to the cold

Mid-February shouldn't be so scary

It was only December

I still remember the presents, the tree, you and me

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

Living alone here in this place

I think of you, and I'm not afraid

Your favorite records make me feel better

Cause you sing along

With every song

I know you didn't mean to give them to me

But you went away

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone

Cause you went away,

How dare you?

I miss you

They say I'll be OK

But I'm not going to ever get over you

FOR THE RECORD...It brings raw emotion out of me. The line "It really sinks in, you know, when I see it in stone" is a good explanation why I don't go to Daddy's grave very often. I can honestly count the time I've been on one hand. It's almost been three years. The times I've gone, I get there stare at the slab and think this is silly....It's just a slab with his name in it...It shouldn't have the second date on it. It shouldn't be here. It to difficult to deal with.

FOR THE RECORD...I've run from my emotions, I try to ignore them, I try to hide them. Not just from myself, from everyone. I seem like I am this together, sane, sarcastic person. I joke about what I've experienced losing my Dad, I joke because the truth and reality is that the pain is just to unbearable to let surface. It's inescapable. It's always deep inside just waiting for the right moment to surface.

FOR THE RECORD...My heart has a hole in it that will never go away, and I honestly feel that I will never be truly 100% happy ever again. I have a great husband, I have two fantastic dogs that I adore, I have amazing friends and family, but I know I am missing one person that I want to share the good moments in life with.

FOR THE RECORD...Maybe I'll always be a broken person. I'm not sure, I just take it one day at a time. Some days are shitty, some days are good, some days are indifferent. Most days I just try to ignore the fact that he's gone. I've lost the ability to care about others pain, I don't want to be like that, but it's hard not to. One day my heart will soften and I might be able to cry for someone else's pain, something other than my own, but as of now I have to focus on fixing my heart, my pain, and my emotional well being. HA...my emotional well being....I'm one train stop away from crazy town.

FOR THE RECORD...The picture at the top fit's the post perfectly. The song-snow in December. The past few weeks of pain-Daddy's truck is in the photo, I traded it in last week, which was so hard and painful to do.

Pinterest: Friday Humor

2011-11-04T09:38:00.000-07:00

I'm pretty sure that's what Tank and Gus' reaction would be.

See they stopped in their tracks when I told them the news.....

"MAMA, SAY WHAT?!?!?"

It's okay to let your Friday go to the dogs!

Fitness Friday

2011-11-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

My usual Friday is like this: I come to work with my workout bag and think I will work out after work like I do on other days, but then we get an announcement that we can leave early, and I am in my car heading South to the house and well there goes the workout.

Since I know this is my behavior, I decided to beat the system (my personal system above) by rolling out of bed, putting on my gym clothes and coming straight to work (we have a gym here). Since my work clothes were picked out the night before and bag was packed, I got out of the house and was in the gym at 7:30 and at 8:15 I was getting ready to make my commute to work...a less that one minute walk from one end of the building to my office. Literally my office and the gym are on the far ends of the building from each other!

Mission accomplished...I worked out today. I've decided that not only do I have to think about what I'm thankful for each day in November, I also have to do some sort of fitness...EVERYDAY!!

As for my thankfulness....I am thankful for the relationship I have with my sister and our mutual best best friend. They are two bestest friends a girl could have!!

What are you Thankful for....

2011-11-03T07:43:00.000-07:00

First I must get Kelly Clarkson singing "Thankful" out of my head....

I'm challenging myself to be grateful and thankful for everything in my life. The challenge is to take a moment each day and reflect on one thing. I am a pessimistic person, for the most part, I have a lot of hate. After losing my Dad almost three years ago, it's like someone swooped in and pulled something out of me that was responsible for caring, happiness, and being grateful for

what I still have in my life. Most of the time my happiness is dragged down by what I am missing...my Dad. I wonder if I will ever be 100% happy ever again. Hopefully this challenge will give me a chance to reflect on the good things in my life...my husband (still getting use to that word) that is willing to put up with me, my two sweet, wonderfully snuggly, and adorable pups, my family, and I could go on an on. My challenge is to focus on what I have and not what I don't have (or once had, but now don't).

It's three days into the month and here's what I got:

30 is a creepin'

2011-10-27T09:35:00.000-07:00

At a friends 29th birthday party last night, it got me to thinking...I don't have much time left for the Big 3-0! So I have to get back on track with my plan.

The plan I started this summer was simple...Enter my 30's the same size I entered my 20's. HAHAHA! It's almost laughable, but I don't believe unattainable.

You would have thought my wedding would have been motivation, nope. I was to busy to care. After I got my dress altered I just had to stay in it. I tried it on weekly to gauge if I needed to eat more or less. Yeah, I bet you never heard that before, a bride saying "eat more"! I focused more on defining that weight loss.

Now here comes the 30s! I don't have far to go, but it's still difficult to not eat a whole chocolate cake when I really want to. I been making head way. I would be OVER THE MOON if I got off 10lbs, but I really need to shed 5 lbs to be where I'd like to be. I'm not dieting, just watching what I eat and making good decisions. I also follow Eat This Not That on twitter. It's unbelievable helpful! Also this if very helpful and true:

What I'd really like to do is get back to my banging Jr year of college figure. HOW THE HECK DID I FIT INTO SIZE 2's!! Oh yeah, I was a college student and pretty much ate cereal for breakfast, lunch, and dinner.

The really sucky part, my birthday is in February, so that means not much time post holidays, so I have to be on my best behavior during the holiday season.

The real hard part....I married a guy who could eat fast food morning, noon, and night and not put on a single ounce of fat! Oh and to boot....he DOESN'T work out. Most women are jealous of celebrities and their bodies, nope, I am jealous of my husband's metabolism.

Here is my motto moving forward. I really am trying to lead a healthier, more active lifestyle.

2011-10-27T05:59:00.000-07:00

Have you discovered Pinterest?!?

If not here is where you go to get a new addiction. And when I say addiction, I am not using it loosely. I mean ADDICTION!

Here's my logic. When smokers need a smoke they get a smoke break. Well I don't smoke, but sometimes I need a mental break...just 5-10 minutes (the equivalent of one cigarette...right?)

At least my addiction isn't bad for my health. Might be bad for my wallet. I found this pin with sequin skirt from Zara the other day on here, and went ahead and ordered it without hesitation. Honestly...I had just seen it on a blog I read (What I wore) about daytime sequins. So I jumped at it. Wonder what my co-workers will think if I wear this skirt to work?!?

I also pick up lots of cute animal pictures...for example....a bulldog trying to swim....

Well Pinterest just now became a hazard to my dogs...I so want to see if Tank makes this face in the water....

Happy Pinning!

P.S. Let me know when you stop laughing at the bulldog photo! The first time I ever saw it I laughed until I cried, then I looked at it again after crying and literally slapped my knee laughing. Then someone came into my office thinking I fell off my rocker....

How to get something you want

2011-10-04T06:02:00.000-07:00

Back on January 5, 2010 I wrote about things I wanted. Since I saved for one of them and just purchased it, I decided to check in on the list to see how I've come along...I'll check the list....

My #1 2010 want:1. A JOB (and with this I might be able to get some of the things below, and in

no particular order) CHECK

My Retail wants for 2010 (some of these are a reoccurring thing…will most likely be on 2011 as well)
1. Louis Vuitton purse CHECK-this is the reason for checking the list...so DOUBLE CHECK :)
2. Kuerig coffee maker (told myself when I get a new job it will get one as a gift to me…I will be getting up early again and need a coffee maker that requires little effort) CHECK-wedding gift
3. Kitchen Aid Mixer (most likely won’t get this until I get married…so who knows…will 2010 be the year?) I really want a mixer…see a prior post (A Mixer Proposal) CHECK-wedding gift
4. A new bed for my king size mattress and box springs (head board and foot board….foot board the most important…I don’t like for my comforter to slip off) - CHECK5. Really expensive pair of shoes - NOPE (I guess I need to set the terms on really expensive)
6. A new dryer…my current one puts black marks on my clothes…it’s also the same dryer that use to dry my clothes when I was still in kid sizes. CHECK...I had to it stopped drying...it was 25 years old!
7. A pair of Uggs… I have the knock offs and starting to want the real thing…I think my best friend made me want them when she got them for Christmas. CHECK

All in all, I think I've done pretty good on my lists. I think my #1 want for 2010 had something to do with accomplishing the others.

Some people may say buying a Louis Vuitton is frivolous. Well to some it may be, but here is my rationale. Some people spend more on electronics in a year that will be out of date the next year, something newer has come along. In 10 years those electronics will be dinosaurs and will have lost their value. While a LV on the other hand doesn't lose value (actually goes up after you leave the store...don't believe me, go to a consignment store and try to buy one from 1980). They don't change their classic styles and if I have a daughter this can be passed down from generation to generation.

I didn't get go out and put it on my credit card and try to pay it off over time. I saved for it. I started an esavings account. It doesn't get a great interest return, but it wasn't about growing the money, it was about putting it aside and not touching it until I had built up enough to purchase my Louis. Plus you can start it out with only a $1 if you want, because again it's about putting whatever you can aside until you have it. I did it. It's pretty rewarding to know that I put it aside and finally purchased a splurge that I've wanted for about 10 years now.

Here is my new pride and joy...

Some things are worth waiting for and some things are worth saving for. If you want something SAVE FOR IT!!

Being a Bully is a good thing

2011-09-08T09:01:00.000-07:00

Our family has increased....by one dog. We now are playing man to man defense when it comes to dogs and humans. Poor Gus has two (humans) on one before and didn't have a shot at hell in getting away with anything.

We adopted an three year old English Bulldog not quite two weeks ago. He is a blessing. Such a sweet face and we feel honored to be able to give him a home that is full of love.

(Tank on the way to the vet-which was a good report)

Gus is getting adjusted to having a new brother. The first evening of Tank being in the house he jumped up in the only furniture that dogs are allowed on, a slip covered over sized chair I've had since college. Gus looks confused as in "Now where the heck am I going to fit up there?"

Dogs make life interesting and definitely not lack excitement!

Shake it

2011-08-24T06:55:00.000-07:00

So there was an Earthquake centered in VA and it was felt here in NC. It was more confusing than anything. I work in a race shop. My office is near the truck bay, so if they fire the truck up then my office kind of vibrates, but this time there was no sound. Afterwards all I wanted to do was sing one of my childhood favorite songs....

Then after that I started thinking about one of my favorite childhood movies.... Yes, my sister and I wore out the VHS. We had recorded it from TV onto a VHS, you know how you simultaneously have the TV on to the channel you want to record (at the time we only got NBC, CBS, and FOX as we didn't have a dish yet) and hit record on the VCR and not touch a damn thing unless the movie was longer than the VHS tape...oh the good 'ole days! You know if you watch something enough times on one of those it gets the squiggly lines on it. Yep we wore it out!

Who would have thought that a little 5.9 earthquake couple hundred miles away would let make me take a trip down memory lane...say about 1991.

I'll leave you with one last earthquake themed song that comes to mind, which takes me back to college and 2003. If you are wondering how this translates to earthquake skip to mark (3:54) for that part.... because God apparently said "Shake it like a Polaroid picture" at 1:53 PM yesterday!

Surprise! It's a....

2011-08-18T07:04:00.000-07:00

That was the title of the email I sent my sister and BFF last night. I will show you the accompanying photo farther down. But first I must explain some things.

I have the digestive system equivalent to a crabby kid that doesn't want to do something it doesn't want to do. This problem has resulted in me being an old lady and drinking Metamucil. One of my friends was saying she can't drink it because of how bad the bloat is. I haven't seen this problem yet. I usually sip it, and if the powder to water ratio isn't perfect, it gets kind of gelatin like. FYI- GROSS! So last night I decided to chug it. Get it down and over with. After 15 minutes afterwards I was feeling like a balloon. I also believe I could have been used as a flotation device. So I decided to go in the bathroom and look in the mirror. I have NEVER seen such a sight on me! I was instantly 4 months pregnant with a gas baby. Photographic evidence was needed. I really don't like bare pregnant belly photos. It kind of disturbs me. So this will be the only bare belly picture you will ever see of me. (Note: It's just gassy bloat!) I blacked out my undies and top...no one needs to see all that.

It was the weirdest thing that has ever happened. Every time I burped it would go down a month of gas baby pregnancy.

Good news, this morning I am happy to report that my gas baby is no more. I am back to normal. It was kind of fun to get a glimpse into my (distant) future (but I have a feeling my future pregnant self's ass would grow too, not just the belly).

Oh well....I got lots of time before that happens!

WARNING: Chugging Metamucil will make you look as if you sucked on an air hose and feel like it to. Slowly sip!!!

Capable Cruiser

2011-08-10T14:00:00.000-07:00

I am probably being a tad bit witchy (but with a B), but I am really kind of annoyed, so I blog when I get annoyed. So here it is:

Every year for our birthdays (My sister and Bestie 1/28 and me 2/1) celebrate our birthday by taking a trip together. This guarantees that for a long weekend every year, the three of us are together. We do this instead of exchanging birthday and Christmas gifts...best. idea. EVER! For my sister's 30th ('10) we did it up Vegas style (the previous year ('09) my Dad had is fatal accident while we were on this trip, so we needed to go big to get our mind off of that fact). This year (my bestie's 30th bday) we went to Atlanta because my bestie was prego with twins and couldn't travel. So for my 30th we are going big again (technically my bestie will still be 30, so it will be for our combined 30th). It's no secret I love to play craps...so why not mix gambling with the ocean, sun, and the Bahamas. So we decided to go on a cruise. I was doing some shopping around. Carnival had the dates, the location, and the length we were looking for. I started the online process for booking, because I wasn't 100% sure what info I would need from everyone. I didn't complete the booking when I first started because I need everyone's confirmation on dates. Before I finished booking online I got this email and a call from the guy below (the rest of the story will be after you read it)

Hello KELLY,

It was a pleasure speaking with you about your upcoming Carnival Cruise vacation. As your Personal Vacation Planner, it will be my pleasure to guide you through the variety of on board activities, shore excursions and ports of call you have to look forward to on your cruise. I will also request your preferred dining time and ultimately reserve your cruise. I have made note of our recent conversation regarding your cruise interests and will have the information readily available when we speak.

Should you have any questions regarding your cruise prior to our scheduled appointment, I am available to you at (800) 819-3902 x85912. I check my messages regularly, 7 days a week, so please leave me a message and I will return your call promptly.

Thank You and I look forward to speaking with you soon.

Eddy Mestre

Carnival Cruise Lines

Personal Vacation Planner

(800) 819-3902 x85912

emestre@carnivalpvp.com
Follow us on Twitter @PVP_Insider

He asked me on the phone, after I told him that I needed everyone to confirm correct dates, "Do you want me to complete booking?" Dude! did you not just hear what I said. Ya ya ya....I said, sir, I am working, I don't have time to chat. Click....

After everyone confirmed dates, I booked online (last week).

This afternoon I got a call from Mr. Mr. above asking if I would like to complete my booking. I said, "I booked last week." He asked you didn't call me, did you lose my information. I wanted to say what was ticking across my brain, which would have been. You think the reason I didn't call you was only because I didn't have you #? I still have the #, and now so does the rest of the bloggishere. He seemed appalled that I booked my cruise through Carnival.com instead of him. I told him, "It's quicker and I like seeing what I am selecting, not someone telling me!" Click....

My message to carnival- if someone is booking online, don't you think it's because they'd rather do it themselves instead of talk to someone they can barely understand...just a thought. I am capable of finishing my cruise booking online. I am online literate.

305-599-2600 is the Number that showed up on caller ID....feel free to harass them...bc I feel like I got harassed...

You have my email address...EMAIL ME...DO NOT CALL !!!

Doggie Minication

2011-08-08T12:31:00.000-07:00

Me and Gus-Waterfront Park- Beaufort, SC

Two weekends ago, I decided that I needed to take my dog to the beach for the weekend. I also wanted to squeeze in a visit with a college friend as well. So I chose a place close to her and close to the dog friend beach of Hunting Island State Park, SC.

Hunting Island State Park Beach

One thing I love is old towns. Old towns that are also old Southern sea towns, make them even better! We went to Beaufort, SC. It's quaint little town!

Gus loved the beach and the water front park. Mama (me) loved the water front coffee shop, ice cream parlor, and bar and grill that I had dinner.

Waterfront Park

What I didn't (and don't) Love is the amount of sand we brought back to North Carolina. I'm pretty sure that you could compete in a sand castle building competition in my jeep. The joys of taking a dog to a public beach....

Here are some photos to document our fun little minication!

Gus checking out the water below- DON'T JUMP!

Gus enjoying the waves

We come all this way and he chews on sticks....

PMS

2011-07-28T06:17:00.000-07:00

For a few days out of each month I find myself wanting to b!%(&# slap Eve for eating the frickin' apple. Women know what I am talking about. The problem is men don't understand it, get it and actually think it's something we can fix, stop, or change about ourselves.

The physical sides of PMS (the bloating and the breakouts) could be more tolerable if it weren't for the emotional. If I weren't emotional, I would cry or get angry about the little zit.

Something such a trying to leave the house to go to work shouldn't be an emotional roller coaster, but during those few days every month, it is. I will use a personal example to explain. As I was trying to gather my things (purse, work bag, lunch, coffee, and water bottle) and turn the alarm on and get out of the house in a timely manner, I somehow managed to spill my coffee. It really just splashed, but not just a tinkle of a splash, but a tsunami wave splash...on my clothes, on my purse, on the door, on the floor. Here comes the PMS part...First I yelled the f word so loudly people in the next neighborhood mostly likely hear it, second I wanted to throw the cup and punch a hole in the wall, then I wanted to sit down and cry because I would have to stop the alarm, clean up, try again, and be even more late for work.

Here is the thing guys, WE DON'T LIKE FEELING LIKE THIS!!! We would prefer to have to go to a theme park and get on an ACTUAL roller coaster vs. going through a roller coaster of emotions in less time than it takes an actual roller coaster to go from 0-60 mph.

These emotions are not manageable, they are erratic, sporadic, and are stirred by not a stick, but a sliver of a toothpick.

While wedding planning I had to start a new rule...NO WEDDING PLANNING WHILE PMS'ING. This rule was set for not just the safety of my own being, but the safety of others. One of the famous lines in an email to my sister and bff (for the reason that the rule was put in place) was because of issues with the save the dates, I tried to solve these issues during a time of PMS distress. I told them "All I want to do is eat a WHOLE chocolate cake and drive my car into a light pole." Women of the world unfortunately know what I am talking about.

We don't chose to have roller coasters of emotions, God made us this way. So before men get frustrated at women, they should honestly say a prayer to God. We didn't choose this life, Eve bit the apple and chose it for us...WHAT A BIOTCH!!!

To be honest: the example happened this morning, thus meaning I a PMS'ing and I really wanted to punch a hole in my computer because Blogger was being a PMS'ing B while trying to compose this blog.

Birthday times TWO

2011-07-21T11:34:00.000-07:00

While on my honeymoon, I happened to look at my passport and notice that my birthday is wrong (a day off). Eh, just assumed that someone made a mistake when typing it in at the passport office. I mean (I did get a ticket for 690 mph-see photo below for proof) typos seem to follow me.

So chalking it up to a typo, I wasn't prepared to "kind of" shout out, OH MY GOSH, in the Social Security office today. While I didn't need my birth certificate, I brought it with me. I honestly brought any document I could possibly need short of my bank statements. So while the Social Security office worker was typing away and myself just patiently waiting, I starting looking at my birth certificate. You know the fun facts, like who old my parents were when they had me (Mama-24, Daddy-28...WOW), then I just glanced over my "date" of birth. It said February 2!!! Holy crappola....I wasn't a ground hog baby!! The guy started giggling at my melt down over feeling lied to for 29 years! Was I really born on the 2nd and not the 1st? Was it only an honest human error? Will we ever know?!?

The guy assured me this wouldn't hinder my name changing process, because honestly I was pretty worried it would and I would have to come back and wait through old lady hissy fits (thought she would throw something at someone before she left). Good, I don't have to come back to the Social Security office B.F.E.

I called my mother concerned, and she told me that when they went to get my SS number after I was born, my aunt who went with her noticed that my birth date was wrong. Okay, good, there is at least a story about them knowing this is wrong. It was supposedly fixed (way back then). Apparently it never was. The copy I have I got in April of 2000 so I could go on my Senior cruise (didn't need a passport to go to Mexico then). So it shows me that it was never changed. On file with the SS office is the birthday I have been celebrating for the past 29 years.

So as of now, I am going with the fact that I can now legally celebrate my birthday on two days. More cake for me!!

P.S. My sister's smart ass comment was- Do you turn 30 twice now? (The next birthday will be the big 3-0!)

Made from Scratch Cake in 5 Minutes-NOT A MYTH!

2011-07-19T05:56:00.000-07:00

Only thing now standing in between me and made from scratch chocolate cake is five minutes. Yes, I repeat, FIVE minutes!! Crazy, right?! Here's the kicker...it's made in a coffee mug, in the microwave!

Here's the secret recipe.

5 MINUTE CHOCOLATE MUG CAKE

4 tablespoons flour

4 tablespoons sugar

2 tablespoons cocoa

1 egg beaten

3 tablespoons milk

3 tablespoons oil

3 tablespoons chocolate chips (optional)

A small splash of vanilla extract

1 large coffee mug (MicroSafe)

Add dry ingredients to mug, and mix well.

Add the egg and mix thoroughly.

Pour in the milk and oil and mix well..

Add the chocolate chips (if using) and vanilla extract, and mix again.

Put your mug in the microwave and cook for 3 minutes at 1000 watts.

The cake will rise over the top of the mug, but don't be alarmed! Allow to cool a little, and tip out onto a plate if desired.

Reason most people don't make a chocolate cake on every whim they get is because of several things. One, they don't have all the ingredients that the recipe calls for. The scary part for this recipe is on a daily basis ALL the ingredients for this recipe are in my house. Two, when you start to crave chocolate cake, you kind of want it right then, not an hour from now, and most times you don't even want to spend 15-20 minutes prepping batter, pans, etc to put in in the oven. The problem with this recipe is, you can mix it together in the mug (I recommend a bowl, then pouring it into the mug) and then pop it in the microwave, start to finish....under five minutes.

(This was mine last night, I kept it light with only half the portion and topped with whipped cream and fresh berries)

As I mentioned to my friends that received this recipe yesterday. It's verrrry verrryyy: good for my sweet tooth, bad for my A$$.

(Besides myself, several of my friends tried making it last night. It gets a A+ for simplicity, a C for consistency. It's a little spongy. Next time I will try lower power on the microwave for a bit longer.)