Scale Junkie

my love of all things crafty - guitar string bracelet

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Thu, 17 Dec 2009 01:56:00 +0000

My very dear friend Laura lives in Nashville. The two of us go back and forth in emails every single day and most days we're showing each other craft ideas we've found online or showing off our latest accomplishments.

Today I sent her a picture of the mince pies I made for Ken for Christmas using Nigella Lawsons recipe for the crust and star topper....cute aren't they? I was quite proud of my efforts today.

In return she sends me a picture of this bracelet she made using recycled guitar strings! She totally wins!! Isn't she clever? Her husband builds custom guitars and she's been helping out at his music store and saw all of this old guitar string that was going to end up in a landfill because is mixed metals so she recycled it into a bracelet and added a bead and some wire...how cool is this?

She made one with a plain bead and her teenage son wore it to school and everyone loved it. I'm thinking music lovers will just love these. I'll put a link to her Etsy store if you want to check out the other designs. Do you like the guitars she's using as props? They're for sale too so if you're near Nashville Tennessee, you can stop by White Bluff Music and say hello and pick out a new instrument while you're there. I swear some day I'll get up there to visit too!

So now I'm going to try to figure out something creative and crafty that I can make with things I have laying around the house...I'm guessing no one wants anything made from Sadie and Max's dog hair?

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 49, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 15 Dec 2009 01:45:00 +0000

Welcome to week 49 or as I like to call it, life in the crazy lane! Is anyone else feeling frazzled with all of the end of the year commitments and tasks?

So what does MY busy life mean for all of you? I had considered putting the HYC on hiatus until the end of the year but instead I opted to stop welcoming new members for two weeks and take care of that on January 5, 2010!

Through the end of the year you'll still be able to sign in on Tuesdays (even if your name hasn't been added to the blog roll yet you can still sign in) but You won't see the welcome list of new members again until January. Its just one less step for me and I'll be able to take care of HYC stuff from my phone if I'm away, juggling the blogroll from the phone...not fun at all.

One other thing to note: Chubby Chick is hosting a giveaway on her blog.

WELCOME!!

I want to lose it (for real)
http://loseit-foreal.blogspot.com/

Sparks Selene
http://sparksselene.blogspot.com/

JewliaGoulia
http://jewliagoulia.blogspot.com/

...and then we hung out and watched TV

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Mon, 14 Dec 2009 14:52:00 +0000

And of course Sadie had to hold the remote control.

by popular demand

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Fri, 11 Dec 2009 02:56:00 +0000

Sadie and Maxx

They want to go for a walk so they've joined forces to get my attention,

of course their efforts paid off!

I've had a few requests for Sadie and Maxx photos since I haven't updated their blog in ages and I don't even have the link to their blog on here anymore after my many redo's of the blog. Maybe some day I'll get it right but if you want vintage Sadie and Maxx, here is their page

How did I get (back) here? Step 1: The honest confession and baby stepping my way back from the edge

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Wed, 09 Dec 2009 11:56:00 +0000

Between the hives/rash itching that has lasted FIVE months (and are still going on), the ongoing stress, job losses, other health issues...its been one hell of a year. I've thrown more than my share of parties this year too, unfortunately they've been pity parties, table for one, but the food while amazing left me vacant and hollow. When I look back at where I was a year ago or even 18 months ago, my fitness level was so much higher. I was walking 2 to 3 miles per day, I was doing circuit training 6 days per week, my weight was about 20 pounds lighter but my over all fitness level was astonishing. I could walk circles around my thinner friends...and now thats gone.

I know that a lot of this is because of health issues. The medications I've taken over the past year have not been kind to my body. My blogging has been sporadic because quite frankly I just haven't had much of anything positive to say. HUGE thank yous to those of you who reached out to me during some of my blackouts I just can't say enough how much your kind words have kept me going this year.

I guess if I were looking for rock bottom, this would be it. The short one mile walk that was so easy isn't as easy as it once was. I would park at the back of the parking lot and walk to the store, now I find myself driving from one side of the shopping center to the other. I find myself making excuse after excuse why I can't go places or do things that require walking. I feel like I'm back where I was when I first started this blog.

I wonder if the five months of itching and hives are because of my diet, perhaps my body is rebelling against me? Perhaps its trying to force me to take action in the form of a permanent lifestyle change. Perhaps its saying its broken and its had enough. I can only say that if you have your health, cherish it. If you can power through your work out, embrace it. I long for that feeling again.

Oh sure I've had moments where I've been ready to fight again. I've had moments where I've felt strong and I felt like I was on track and making progress. Lately those moments have been few and far between. Lately I feel like I'm just too far gone and I feel like I need an intervention of epic proportion. I always said I'd never go on the show Biggest Loser, after watching the finale last night I realized I would go on the show. Of course I'm sure they have the January cast already and my body is to the point where I can't wait around for the next show. I have to take action now.

As I type those words, words I've expressed in so many ways, so many times before, tears start to form and I instinctively make reservations for that pity party, table for one but somewhere, deep down, on some level, I have to believe I'm capable of changing. Those tears can not flow today. I have to believe that I can fight and win this war I'm waging within myself. No one else can do this for me. No amount of support or encouragement from others can make ME take the right actions, only I have the power to take those actions. This is completely in my hands. Its up to me. So now I have to ask myself the hard questions...do I believe in myself? Am I worth it? Can I fight for just one minute and turn that minute into another and those minutes into hours and those hours into days? This body is running on empty, running out of time. Well whats it going to be? Can I save myself?

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 48, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 08 Dec 2009 00:06:00 +0000

Welcome to another wonderful week! It looks like some of you in the States are going to get bombarded with snow and bad weather, stay safe!

Another stressful week here at Camp Scale Junkie...I'm looking forward to when I don't have to type that anymore. I'd like to say I'm doing my best but truthfully I'm not and honestly it feels good to come clean and admit it, lets face it, if dancing around a topic burned calories I'd have been skinny years ago. But today is a new day and I'm going to make the most of it! What about you?

WELCOME!

Randilizm: Kicking fat where the sun don't shine!
http://randilizm.wordpress.com/

Plump Professions
http://plumpprofessions.blogspot.com/

Losing the 40
http://losingthe40.blogspot.com/

but all for the memory

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Wed, 02 Dec 2009 21:01:00 +0000

I'm the baby of the family. The youngest of too many to count. Really its not too many to count but its just that I prefer not to count some of them as siblings if that makes sense. I have a rule in my life, if something or someone is toxic, if they or it makes you sick, you should do everything you can to put some distance between yourself and the source of the toxins. But some of them cling to you, some of them absorb into every fiber of your being and they are harder to get rid of. The problem with that is, no matter how much space I seem to put between us there is something toxic that always lingers too close that that I can't get rid of and thats me. Kind of like a fungus or mold.

I've known for a while that I'm my own worst enemy. I"m a far harsher critic on myself than I'd ever be on someone else. But yet I can't seem to let go of the toxic within myself. How do you kill a part of yourself and walk away intact? How to you cut loose the dead weight when its attached to you? If I know its so bad for me then why can't I just let go?

When I was a little girl my older siblings would do things for me and when I tried to do them for myself they'd tell me that I was too little, that I didn't know how or that I was too stupid or not good enough. Thankfully they weren't all sending that message but I heard it enough that I ingrained it in my habits and patterns. I've learned to let go of those people, now I just have to learn to let go of their messages. Just when I think I've got it all figured out, something happens and I run back to the comfort of my drug of choice. When they'd hurt me with their words and I'd cry to Mom or Dad, they'd often soothe me with food. When we celebrated something happy, we did it with food. When someone died or got married, it was all about the food.

With the holiday season approaching I find myself having these wild and random cravings and I can't quite put my finger on it. The other night when I got up to slather anti-itch cream on myself at 3am it finally hit me what I had been craving...the family party buffet. Every family would bring a dish. I'd fill my plate with a few spoons full of each dish and it was that melody of flavor that reminded me of those parties that I craved. But I hated those parties. I hated those people. I never felt like I fit in, I never felt like I belonged. The older kids would exclude me, the younger kids would pick on me and if I tried to stand up for myself, the older kids would join in and pick on me for picking on the little ones.

There was some comfort and it was found in the buffet line. I'd compliment the adults on their culinary skills and ask them to give my Mom the recipe. While I distracted them with grown up conversation, I learned to quietly reach for the dessert table and confiscate the cookies and candy. All the while they'd comment on how mature I was. They didn't realize I was devious when it came to sneaking food.

In all of this madness, in dodging the abuse, I learned to absorb whatever life threw at me. I was a sponge for all of their negativity. Slowly but surely, I'm learning to wring out the sponge and wash away the hurt and abuse. I'm learning to detach myself from that person because I'm not her anymore. I don't want to be her anymore. I have to let her go. I said goodbye to the family, well most of the family, and put distance between most of us. But like a porous sponge with so many nooks and crannies I've absorbed a lot of crap over the years. Its going to take more than one rinse to wash it clean.

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 47, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 01 Dec 2009 12:41:00 +0000

Today is the first day of the last month of 2009. I know we all have very busy schedules and this month tends to be a whirlwind but I'm going to do my best to keep posting and make healthy choices 99% of the time. How crazy is your life right about now and what are you doing to combat the stress?

WELCOME

Challenge Bridesmaid
http://challengebridesmaid.blogspot.com/

Big Girl Bombshell
http://www.biggirlbombshell.com/

Girly Bitz
http://girlybitz.blogspot.com/

Thankful

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Thu, 26 Nov 2009 16:54:00 +0000

I'm just taking a few minutes in between the craziness of preparing a Thanksgiving feast to wish you all a very happy and healthy Thanksgiving.

Turkey is in the oven, the side dishes are started. I've made a few changes this year, more veggie side dishes and I'm not counting veggies covered in cheese or canned soup, none of that here and I'm not going to miss it at all.

Can you keep a secret? I complain every year about how much work it is to prepare the meal but I really love every minute of it. What I love most is that I have complete control over what is served and how its prepared. I wish I would have taken more interest in cooking years ago. I wish I would have insisted on preparing a few veggie side dishes. But enough of that. No time to focus on the past.

I think that this Thanksgiving more than ever, I'm so thankful for everything I have. In years past I would have spent the day stuffing myself and strategically planning my shopping spree on Black Friday. Times have changed. There will be no black Friday shopping this year. I was a little bit upset about it because being the queen of bargain shopping, Black Friday is my favorite holiday but I know I have so much to be thankful for, the rest is just stuff. I simply don't need a lot of stuff anymore and I feel good about it. Perhaps being able to let go of the material things is just one step in the process of learning to let go of the fat, learning to let go of the wall that surrounds me. Why did I cling so tightly to that stuff? Why do I cling so tightly to my over eating habits? Learning to start over and take the fresh start and rebuild my life and rebuild my health. Thankful seems like a very good theme and how fitting my awakening to thankfulness comes the week of Thanksgiving.

ps. Today would have been my Mom's 80th birthday. Happy Birthday Mom.

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 47, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 24 Nov 2009 00:19:00 +0000

Hi everyone! I just want to wish everyone who celebrates Thanksgiving a very happy and healthy day. For those of you who aren't American and don't celebrate, have some turkey this coming Thursday and think of all of us here trying not to stuff ourselves with food.

I have a great plan...I'm doing all of the cooking so I'm in control of what is served. It works for me. How do you handle holiday meals and the pressure or temptation to overindulge?

WELCOME!

Lost and Found

http://finding-fit.blogspot.com/

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 46, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 17 Nov 2009 00:20:00 +0000

Happy week 46 check in! I hope you're all having a great week. I've already heard a few rumors that some of you are already decorating for the Christmas holiday. I won't name names :-)

I have another very busy week coming up but I'll try to blog when I can and catch up with all of you when I can. Have a great week!

WELCOME!

The Hippie Mommy with Kaleidoscope Eyes
http://www.hippie-mommy.com/

cold toes

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 13:04:00 +0000

Last night we had this conversation:

Him: is it Wednesday today?
Me: No, its Tuesday
Him: are you sure?
Me: yes I'm sure, I posted the HYC last night
He turns on the TV and brings up the guide
Him: We watched V together last night and its on Tuesday night so today has to be Wednesday
Me: I think I lost a day

Have you ever had that happen when you feel like you lost a day? I blame it on the pills, those happy little pink pills.

My happy little pink pills that help me sleep aren't heavy duty sleeping pills, they are over the counter Benadryl and not only do they help me sleep, they help with my itching, they've been the only thing that has helped...they really are a win win except they leave me feeling tired the next day so I overcompensate with copious amounts of coffee which of course leaves me unable to sleep that night: its a viscous cycle to break. I should also note that I'm taking them on the advice of my doctor, I'm not abusing the amounts, in fact I'm taking less than he recommended. But still, I have to remember to take them right after dinner if I have plans to be somewhere early the next day. My choices sleeping and no itching, wide awake and scratching my skin off. What would you pick? I thought there was always supposed to be a happy middle? Where is my happy middle?

So here it is, almost 8am and I'm about to head out the door to walk the dogs, thankfully they know the route quite well, I can just close my eyes and let them guide me around the neighborhood if I needed.

Of course being tired creates other pitfalls. Cold toes. No the medication doesn't make my toes cold, my toes are cold because I can't put shoes on my feet, well, at least not my right foot and its cold outside today and the dogs want to go for their walk. So why can't I put a shoe on? You see, I was tired from taking the pretty pink pill and I tried to avoid tripping over Sadie who was prancing around wanting to go for a walk and I caught my toe under the bed frame and my poor little toe took quite a beating. I stubbed it quite hard and its badly bruised.I fell onto the bed screaming EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE EXPLETIVE...who knew that bad word was doggie for lets jump on the bed and each take a side and slobber her face with doggie kisses until she stops screaming, swearing and crying.

And then there was the blood. Lots and lots of blood which they generously took turns licking from my bloody little toe. Who knew a little toe could bleed so much. Oh they really are good doggies but seriously, get out of the bathroom already and let me pour peroxide over my toe to kill your doggie tongue germs. They had a hurt look on their face, I think I really insulted them and their doggie germ filled tongues but they still wanted to go for a walk.

So here it is, still nearly 8am and I'm headed out into the 60 degree morning to walk the dogs wearing flip flops because my poor little toe hurts too much to wear walking shoes and why did this happen? All because of these stupid mystery hives. So am I doing this walk in the name of exercise or doggie love? At least there are two of them, maybe I can convince them to each lay on a foot when we get back to warm them up a bit. Its the least they can do right?

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 45, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 10 Nov 2009 00:09:00 +0000

Welcome to another wonderful week! I hope everyone is having a good, no make that a GREAT week.

I just want to confirm that I will be going forward with the HYC in 2010. To keep my stress levels low. I'm debating a few tweaks, I'll keep you all posted.

WELCOME!

suck it up princess
http://princess-jeniffer.blogspot.com/

Gettin' Slim
http://girlgettinslim.wordpress.com/

A Single Step
http://asinglestepjourney.blogspot.com/

Love My Cacao
http://lovemycacao.wordpress.com/

Operation: LOSE IT!
http://operationloseit.blogspot.com/

little bits of joy

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Sun, 08 Nov 2009 15:37:00 +0000

I'm happy to say that my body seems to be responding and healing. Gluten seems to be a big irritant for me and just limiting it has helped tremendously. I'm not back to 100% but I"m getting there. Slowly but surely. Overall I haven't felt like my normal cheerful self. I've felt down and dark. Being sick will do that to you. Gaining weight will do that to you. I'm the first person to tell others to get out there and live their lives but here I am wanting to hibernate for the winter.

I recently had a few pretty major disappointments. I had been planning a trip for the weekend of my birthday for MONTHS. Then Ken lost his job so I scaled back our trip plans but the plans were still there. Then the itching started. He started a new job the week of my birthday. Now don't get me wrong, I'm elated that he found a job and not just any old job, but a really good job that will hopefully be long term. In a few months we'll have medical insurance again and that worry will be lifted. We'll have income again and be able to replenish our savings. I'm trying not to itch and I'm seriously stressing about itching, about finances, about jobs, about medical insurance and so many other little things we take for granted. Another disappointment was not being able to take a class I really wanted to take that starts this week.

Its offered again in January and I tried to give myself reasons why waiting really is for the best. November and December are holiday season and I'd rather focus on those than my class. Being around others right now will increase my chances of getting the flu and I want to be healthy for the holiday season. Oh wait there is more, Ken added one..."it will give you two months to lose more weight"

Yeah that last one hurt a little bit, not because those were his words but because its what I've taught him over the years of our marriage. Everything for me has always been about waiting until I lose more weight. So I can fit in seats, so I can be stronger or whatever. So when he said that, I knew he was just saying what he thought I wanted to hear, what I was already thinking but honestly, that thought hadn't crossed my mind for once...until he brought it up. But he's right. Thats just me being me. I already warned him that I wouldn't be accepting any holiday invitations for parties unless it was from close friends. I already told him that if anyone at his work was having a party he was welcomed to go without out me because right now I just can't bear the thought of meeting anyone new so why wouldn't he say something like that about my class where I'd be meeting new people?. So like a glass dropping from my hand and shattering across the floor into a million little pieces I watched the last bit of joy slip from my grasp with the reality of what I've done to myself.

He said I should write more, I should blog more because he noticed I hadn't been blogging much. I told him that I had nothing to say that anyone would want to read and he told me. Don't write for others, write for yourself. Once again...he's right. So today as he hums Christmas music in the background, I write for myself. I just let it flow and I write. And do you know what else? I'm not even going to proofread it. (gasp...horror) If there are typos...oh well. If there are grammatical errors...too bad. Today is not my day for perfection. Today is my day to really LET GO of the past and really let go of everything else that holds me back.

Honestly September and October are total blurs in my mind. I'm pretty sure that November and December will be more of the same. I'm in a dark hole right now, a self imposed cave where it feels safe. I don't want to face the outside world right now. I feel disfigured from this rash, my leg is beyond ugly to look at, redness remains around my neck. I'm still 20 pounds heavier than I was before the steroids..ok, maybe 15 pounds heavier but still.

Through it all, through the self imposed darkness, little sparks keep lighting up my life. An email from a friend. A happy tail wag and slobbery kiss from the dogs. I warm embrace from my husband. I hold tight to the little things because all of those little bits of joy add up and push away the darkness. They keep me going right now when I don't want to get out of bed. They keep me fighting for another day. Through it all, just a few tiny sparks of joy are all I need to know that there is a better way and I'm headed to a better place if only I take that first step. I'm strong. I know I'll survive. I know I'll come out of this dark place stronger and bettter than ever. But thats just me, I'm a survivor.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 44, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 00:12:00 +0000

Hi everyone! Welcome to week 44 HYC check in. First week of November, 2009, hard to believe there are less than 2 months left in 2009.

You can tell its getting later in the year, less people are focused on starting a healthy lifestyle because for the first time this year we have no new people to welcome. I plan on using the time left in the year to work on getting back some of what I've lost. What about you? Any end of the year goals or plans?

lately I

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Mon, 02 Nov 2009 13:01:00 +0000

Lately I've been caught up in life
Lately I've been fighting an illness
Lately I haven't been blogging too much
Lately I haven't been focused on my health
Lately I haven't exercised
Lately I've had too many reasons why...

I can't even guarantee these words will make sense to any of you but here it goes.

So here it is, the last two months of the year and I look back at this past year (and the year before) and I see my weight is pretty much where its been for the past two years. One thing leads to another and here we are and here I am wishing things were different but they aren't. Yes thats my head talking but lately my body has been talking. Correction, my body has been screaming!

My body has said its had enough of my not taking care of it and its treated me to three months of itching hives that won't go away. Of course my doctor has graciously treated me to two rounds of steroids and told me that they don't have to cause weight gain, they only cause weight gain when you eat too much. Ok...thats not really fair to my doctor. He wanted me to take the steroids back in August when the problem first started. Had I taken them then, I might not be this bad today. I waited until it was unbearable. I waited until I reached the breaking point. And here I am.

Do you have any idea what its like to itch for three months? One area clears up only to have another flare up. You try every over the counter medication, you try what your doctor offers, you try home remedies, you become best friends with the woman at the health food store. Itching leads to not sleeping, not sleeping leads to physical and mental exhaustion. So then you take a pill to help the itch that also helps you sleep and you wake yourself up bloody from scratching in your sleep. The doctor gives you an antibiotic to clear up the infected itchy spots and what do you know...I had an allergic reaction to the antibiotic. And then somewhere in there the depression sets in.

I haven't been blogging because I've been too busy itching...or trying not to itch. While I was itching I was comforting myself with comfort food, is it any wonder I gained 20 pounds? Was it the steroids...really? Or was it me stuffing my mouth with food to comfort myself? And wait just a minute, has that food really caused comfort or contributed to the problem? Sweating and exposure to humidity makes it worse, much worse so exercise has stopped. I've walked the dogs for at least a mile a day, almost every day for the past three years. So the one thing I was doing right for my immune system, daily exercise, has stopped. Oh sure I could turn the air conditioner down to 60 and workout, then quickly jump in the shower...and I have but my electricity bill is screaming too and that leads us back to the cause of stress. The cause of stress has been fixed, its been remedied and its actually worked out for the better but its not an instant switch for my body. My body is still rebelling.

Lessons learned. Oh yes I've learned several lessons. If I wait until my body is at that breaking point of unbearable before I do anything, its going to make things a whole lot worse. There are some things a pill can't fix. There are some things you have to fix from the inside out. I stopped and compared it to my weight. I can't let myself get to the point of no return. Comfort food isn't comforting to my body and its doing me no favors.

Hives are a response to many things: stress, food allergies, immune system deficiencies. So basically I had lots and lots of stress and I started eating foods I had previously eliminated from my diet and then I cry and wonder why I'm itching so much? My body is fighting back. My body is saying "fine, if you won't take care of me I'll make you itch until you pay attention" I'LL PAY ATTENTION!! But did it have to pick the year with the deadly H1N1 to rebel and weaken my defenses?I know, I know, you're in charge, no back talk.

I'm listening body! I'm finally listening. I'm feeding you good healthy foods and I'm starting right now, right at this minute, today. Oh I can't promise this resolve will last a minute past the first Thanksgiving temptation passes my nose and even if it does I have the whole December holiday season to make it through, but I'm going to make the best choices at each and every meal. I'm going to do my best and make the better decisions and maybe just maybe you'll let these ugly scars on my leg heal? If I fail, just make me itch and I'll get the message and get back on track again. Deal?

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 43, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Tue, 27 Oct 2009 00:48:00 +0000

Hi everyone. As some of you know I had "blog issues" last week and unfortunately in my panic to fix the problem I posted a few test posts and when I deleted them I also deleted last weeks HYC check in, sorry! If you happened to stop by and found the 404 error, you can read all about why in my post below but enough of that, lets move on to this week and lets hope its wonderful!

WELCOME!

A Writer In A Wheelchair
http://writerinawheelchair.blogspot.com/

www.scalejunkie.com oh for a little www

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Sun, 25 Oct 2009 16:41:00 +0000

Last week I posted the HYC post and everything was working just fine. Then I go and get sick and don't check on my blog for a few days, check my email to find that scalejunkie.com isn't working. Well I guess that was my birthday present from Google...wiping me from the face of the web!

404 PAGE NOT FOUND!!!

STRESS STRESS STRESS
PANIC PANIC PANIC
CRY CRY CRY

cry some more.....

the subdomains for the recipies, reviews and Sadie & Max were working but not my main blog page.

After accidentally deleting my last post ... sorry HYC gang, going to blogger help, someone suggested I publish back to blogspot and then republish as scalejunkie.com and when I did, lovely blogger gave me an error and said I couldn't be naked, I needed a www and holy crap do you realize my brain is about to explode at this point?? To think I was naked for the past two years and they never noticed. Other sites are naked, other sites don't need a www so why do I suddenly need a www?

Its like I've been wiped from the face of google.com

But I'm still here...until they decide my www dress isn't pretty enough for them anymore. Now if I can only get google to redirect my index from scalejunkie.com to www.scalejunkie.com

I feel so invisible maybe the blogosphere is trying to tell me something, haha.

UPDATE: Well the invisibility didn't last, apparently the redirect isn't as instant as this woman who lives in an instant society would like. I still can't believe they called me naked...

Finally an affordable higher capacity scale - and you could win one too!

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Mon, 19 Oct 2009 15:16:00 +0000

For the past week I've been trying out the EatSmart Precision Premium Digital Bathroom Scale. Yes that means I've been jumping off and on the scale more often than usual but hey, it was for the sake of research ;-)

Because I earned the name Scale Junkie, the people at EatSmart thought I'd be the perfect person to try this out but they want one of my readers to try one too so they've generously offered to give one away to one of you. Read more...and enter to win by clicking here.

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 41, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Mon, 12 Oct 2009 23:50:00 +0000

I hope all of you are having a great week! Some parts of the country are having unseasonably cold weather and I've heard that penguins have been spotted ice skating on a few of your front lawns...that being said, we're having a HEAT WAVE here in Florida so if you're looking to escape the cold, Florida is the place to be. Someone please send some cooler weather my way please, I have soup recipes lined up and ready to try.

Do your eating habits change when the weather changes? Tell me all about it in the comments.

NOTE: I'm putting together a giveaway later in the week and you don't want to miss out so be sure to stop back and sign up to win!

WELCOME!

Finding Me
http://findingme34.blogspot.com/

Everyday Grace
http://every-day-grace.blogspot.com/

losing weight in the city
http://citygirllosingweight.blogspot.com/

did you happen to look at the rest of the label?

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Thu, 08 Oct 2009 23:05:00 +0000

Him: I really like that new shampoo

Me: What new shampoo? I haven't bought new shampoo

Him: I found it under the bathroom sink, it has oatmeal in it, says its soothing

Me: it also says its for DOGS

Healthy You Challenge Check In Week 40, 2009

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Mon, 05 Oct 2009 23:09:00 +0000

Welcome to week 40 and welcome to October! I hope everyone is having a fabulous week.

WELCOME!

Getting To Goal
http://jbfblog.blogspot.com/

100 in 28
http://100in28.wordpress.com/

not that hot, the other hot

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Sun, 04 Oct 2009 15:40:00 +0000

He came to bed last night after taking the dogs on a quick run around the block. We curled up for a goodnight cuddle and I could tell he had jogged part of the way because heat was just radiating from his body.

Me: WOW, you're so HOT
Him: Thank you sweetheart

The Goldilocks Mentality

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Thu, 01 Oct 2009 12:44:00 +0000

Today is the first day of October and it finally feels like autumn outside. Living in Florida I know the cooler weather during this time of the year is fleeting but I still long for those first cool days when the humidity drops and the temperature outside drops to 79 degrees and I walk outside and feel "chilled" by the cool air. This morning its 63 degrees but I know the temperature will soon climb to the mid 80's so I want to take advantage of the morning while I can. I want to get out there and walk and breath the crisp air that makes me feel so alive and invigorated.

I immediately noticed that I wasn't the only one enjoying this cooler weather. Sadie and Max were like little springs, jumping and prancing down the sidewalk, thoroughly enjoying every step of the journey and even the cranky man down the block was somewhat pleasant for a change. Something feels different on the inside too. I can't quite put my finger on it but if you read my post yesterday about the darkness I guess I'd have to say that the first cool day of the season feels like the coming dawn. It feels like life is renewed again and that its a great time for a fresh start.

Oh sure that cool weather is faked all summer long. The inside of my home remains a consistent cool temperature but its those blasts of heat on the cool skin time after time as I run from my air conditioned home to my air conditioned car to the air conditioned store. Fake cool weather. From reading this you might say that I should just pack my bags and move somewhere cooler but you that really isn't going to work for me either because I'm just like Goldilocks. Remember her from our childhood story time? Like her, I'm quite particular: I don't like it too hot, I don't like it too cool, I like it just right. Unfortunately there is no where in the world that is just right all year long so I make the best of during the four to five brutal hot months so I can enjoy the majority of the year in weather I love feeling "just right".

I realized that my attitude towards dieting and life has been a lot like Goldilocks. I keep waiting for everything to be "just right" before I take action. I tell myself that I have to have things a certain way. I have to have the right foods, I have to have the right clothes to exercise, I need the right motivation to exercise, I need to cook a certain way, I need to feel a certain way, I need this to be like that and that to be like this and, and, and....and I realized that things can't always be a certain way and I'm full of excuses. We have to make the best of each day and there will be days when life is too hot and there will be days when life is too cold but there will also be "just right" days. The thing is, I need to do the work on the too hot and too cold days so that when I do get to a just right day I'm not SO hung up on my body image that I either don't recognize a just right day or I can't enjoy it. I'm learning to make the most of every day because if I wait for optimum conditions every single day there are very few days in a year that will meet all of my requirements. Enough of making excuses. Enough of waiting for just right. Every day has something good we can pull from it. Every day has moments of just right if we're willing to step outside of our comfort zones and recognize them.

kissing the darkness

scalejunkie@gmail.com (Scale Junkie) — Wed, 30 Sep 2009 13:46:00 +0000

Looking back over the past few years and my quest to find the root of my eating disorder I noticed a trend: I avoided the darkness. But darkness is inevitable. Just as the earth rotates away from the sun and brings darkness we know that without fail it will rotate around and bring the light. That makes the light inevitable too.

The darkness is something that many people are afraid of. Did you ever notice that very few horror movies take place in the daylight? The victims/survivors always have to make it until the sun comes up, somehow that light brings a sense of security and safety and you know everything will be just fine. But its not just the darkness we can see, there is a darkness that we can't see, a darkness we create within ourselves. I find this darkness to be far more terrifying because unlike the physical darkness, this darkness stays with us. The light doesn't just come, you have to learn to flip the switch and turn the light on.

When I'd encounter something unpleasant in my life my first instinct was to hide it, cover it up, bury it and deny its existence. I felt like no matter what it was, even if it was something out of my control, out of my hands I had to hide it or it would reflect badly on me. I learned that the darkness is where secrets are kept. If I could keep the darkness contained, somehow I'd protect myself from the pain.

As most of you know, I became an expert at burying the pain with food. I pushed everything into the darkness and never let the light shine in those corners of my soul. Little by little and bit by bit I've been exploring those dark areas and I've come to realize this has been one of the best things I've ever done in my life. Yes there is pain that I'd never wish on my worst enemy but there is also triumph because I've learned that the darkness doesn't have the power and control unless I give it the power and control.

I've realized that its okay to have darkness in my life but its better to have more light. The light brings the fun times and happy memories. Crisis, chaos, loss and torment bring the darkness but I know from experience that the world will keep spinning and the light will come and the darkness will fade away. Same holds true in my life and I'm opening the windows, turning on the lights and letting it shine. I've kissed the darkness and embraced it, I've realized that while it has its place in my world it doesn't have real power only imagined power and you know what? It just doesn't feel that scary anymore