Today’s example shows that I have eaten breakfast and lunch.

Breakfast was pretty substantial and really hit the spot.  I tend to eat breakfast about two hours after I’ve gotten up and rolling.  I just cannot bring myself to eat immediately upon waking.  It just does not sit right.

Lunch doesn’t look like much, with just the overview; but, when you break it down, it was actually enough to keep me going through the afternoon until I get home tonight to make dinner.

It was a Turkey on Rye…I don’t know how many of you have checked out the calories in various sandwich ingredients; but, Rye is amazingly low in calories.  Lower than the ‘low calorie’ wraps I’ve see out there.  Mustard – basic yellow – has next to no calories.  Turkey, lettuce and tomatoes – and, bingo.  You have a very flavorful sandwich that comes in under 120 calories.  Rye bread tends to be pretty good sized slices – so, you use ONE slice of bread to hold all the ingredients together.  Eat it slowly and enjoy it.  It’s full of good things for you – a healthy, low calorie meal that will tide you over for the next couple of hours…and, it’s not bland, boring or nasty tasting.

While that’s all well and good, I’ve still spent 478 calories, right?  That can be pretty rough when you’re on a restricted diet.  But, you’d be amazed at the amount of calories just driving to work and doing your desk job can burn.  Don’t get me wrong, it’s not enough that you can go crazy with your caloric consumption; but, it’s enough that you can breathe a bit easier about what you do and do not choose to eat.

Surprisingly, just driving to work and doing my job burns 508 calories – that just a bit under one calorie an hour.  Not exactly going to burn it off in a blink of an eye; but, it does mean that there is more wiggle room in your day than you might imagine.  The walking “under 2mph” that’s there that shows 5 min?  I park on the far side of the parking lot.  It takes me about 2.5 minutes to get into work – crossing the lot and climbing a flight of stairs to get to my cube.  Who’d think to put that on their exercise list, right?  I mean, it’s only 7 calories…but, 7 calories here and there can add up.  Going to the bathroom – I use the women’s handicap stall and do a couple of minutes of side kicks and squats.  Only 13 calories…but, I do it every time I go to the bathroom – some days more than others; but, you know….at 13 calories a pop – that’s not too shabby.  Add to that, walking to the bathroom farthest away from my desk takes me about 2 minutes each way, so there are more calories burned.  Last night, I wound up 20 calories over my goal…but, I was still within my caloric goal for reaching 1.2 pounds lost per week.  I hate that it’s such a low amount per week. I’ve grown up in an “instant” society and I want it right now; but, this way is much healthier and much better at helping me to ensure not only that I eat enough; but, that I eat healthy.

Yes, eat enough.  I think one of the reasons so many have trouble with dieting is because they do not take into account all they are doing throughout their day.  They log every bite consumed; but, they fail to log every action taken (well, within reason).  So – someone may go on a 1200 calorie diet…and, essentially starve themselves because they also begin to work out and increase their caloric burn.  It’s one reason I find tools like MyFitnessPal or MyFoodDiary so invaluable. They help give you the real picture about what’s going on…and, the nutritional feedback is even nicer (though, I wish there was a bit more robust information, what they do provide is wonderful). For more information on how many calories are burned for every day activities like walking, shopping, sleeping, watching TV, cooking, putting up groceries, etc you can go to this link provided by Harvard.

The end of the day report really helps you see how well you’ve done at living healthy, while trying to lose weight.  This is actually my middle of the day report – I still have dinner to get through.  However, because of all the little things I’m doing throughout the day, I can have a fairly decent dinner and still be within my caloric range. Not to mention, I still have my rowing I’ll be doing tonight which will burn off a few more calories – that means I can gift myself a single glass of wine as an apertif.  Not too shabby  

Don’t get me wrong.  It’s not easy.  Breaking the sugar habit is HARD.  Cutting back on caffine?  Really hard.  Trying to identify the cravings that you get so that you can provide healthy alternatives for what your body is demanding?  It takes a lot of fine tuning and really coming to understand your own body.  It’s not easy; but, I think, in the end it’s worth it.

“How do you get that lonely, how do you hurt that bad
To make you make the call, that havin’ no life at all
Is better than the life that you had
How do you feel so empty, you want to let it all go
How do you get that lonely… and nobody know”
(artist: Blaine Larsen)

It’s actually, apparently, very easy. And, it’s not always about being lonely or empty. Sometimes it’s about being tired. So very, very tired. Through and through soul weary. It’s about being told over and over again why it is that you are supposedly too good for people and how you deserve more. It’s about seeing mistakes you’ve made with people who weren’t finding excuses to avoid you. It’s about feeling like every time you get up and manage to finally steady yourself on your feet and are just starting to find your balance – you get knocked flat on your back again….and, often have the world doing the tango on top of your prone body. It’s about wondering why in the world you would even want to make the effort to bother to stand up again, knowing you are just going to wind right back up in the dust and dirt with shoe prints on your heart and soul.

That weariness – that utter, inner exhaustion – it seems to hide from view even though it’s out there for the world to see, if they just knew how to look. It’s a shadow in the eye, a sigh on the wind, a quiet step away from life…one centimeter at a time.

My puppy, Loki, pulled me back from that ledge so very many times. It’s one reason his loss was such a blow to me – and, always will be a wound that I don’t think will ever fully heal over. That little dog literally gave me a reason to go on when all the other reasons just didn’t stack up. I hate that it seems like I didn’t love my family or my son enough to say they were the reason. But, truly, the state of mind you get into, you believe that while you might be missed it wouldn’t be all that big a deal. You rationalize that your family – who makes it so very clear how much they love you (in my case) – and your friends will probably not even notice you are gone.

At the lowest point in my life, I literally would not have been missed until the next work day when I failed to show up at Broadwing. Tim and my coworkers would have known something was seriously wrong because I just don’t bail on work without notice. How sad is it that you’d have to wait until a workday and count on your work ethic for someone to realize you were no longer around? That was my life. And, it’s one reason I started to go out dancing. I had to get out and socialize and not be the hermit I was becoming. And, it was the hardest thing I’d ever done in my life. I did not want to go out. I did not want to socialize and be around people. I did not want to do any of it – not in the least. But, I had a little dog who counted on me to take care of him – and, the fact that I would have lain dead for several days before someone would find him and take care of him is one of the main reasons I’m typing this message today. The love and care that I had for that dog, and he for me – the responsibility of taking care of him is why I pushed myself out of my comfort zone and made myself get out and be sociable…if anyone could remotely call me sociable. I’m difficult, irascible, annoying – and, sometimes quite self-absorbed. But, I did it…and, I’m much more heart whole because of it. I still have my moments; but, I have a husband who loves me and friends who worry when they don’t hear from me in several hours and people generally sticking their noses in my business – and, that’s a very good thing.

The things that burrow in and tear at the heart and soul of a person and make them so soul weary that they just can’t bring themselves to stand back up and dust themselves off…they hide in plain view. And, sometimes, the only indication you might ever have that anything is wrong is a very quiet, “I’m just tired.” I know I used that phrase a lot. And, I was. I was so very, very tired. Unfortunately, no one realized it wasn’t a physical tired – it was a soul tired.

After I pulled through the worst and closest call I had, I talked to my father about it. I’m so very blessed with the family that I have – and, I cry for those who are not so blessed and who find themselves feeling that soul weariness. My father said to me, “I know, Doll”…and we talked – and, he did know. And, slowly and with a lot of effort I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to exert, I have come to a much better place and found a place of quiet peace inside that – even if I fall into the maelstrom and get exhausted – I can go and rest and find my balance again. I can find it without the battle against the question of if it’s even worth it to bother. It’s not something that ever fully disappears, I don’t think. Maybe it does, given enough time. But, it fades. It becomes easier to breathe and the weight of that exhaustion slowly lets up so that you can make it through another day.

So…it’s not always about hurt, or loneliness, or emptiness…sometimes, it’s just about being so utterly and completely exhausted. And, for each of my friends and my family members who are in my life and love me and stick their noses in my business and make sure that I know that I’m loved and adored….thank you so much for that caring and that loving. It means more to me than you’ll ever know.

Non-Vegan:

INGREDIENTS

* 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
* 4 teaspoons ground ginger
* 3 teaspoons baking soda
* 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
* Four pinches orange zest
* ¾ cup butter
* 1 cup white sugar
* 1 egg
* ¼ cup dark molasses
* pinch of sea salt

A bit of cinnamon sugar – less than ¼ cup (cinnamon sugar is made by combining 1 tbsp cinnamon and ½ cup of sugar)

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Sift the flour, ginger, baking soda, cinnamon, and salt into a mixing bowl. Stir the mixture to blend evenly, and sift a second time into another bowl.
3. Place the butter into a mixing bowl and beat until creamy. Gradually beat in the white sugar. Beat in the egg and dark molasses. Sift 1/3 of the flour mixture into the butter mixture; stir to thoroughly blend. Sift in the remaining flour mixture, and mix together until a soft dough forms. Pinch off small amounts of dough and roll into 1 inch diameter balls between your hands. Roll each ball in cinnamon sugar, and place 2 inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet.
4. Bake in preheated oven until the tops are rounded and slightly cracked, about 10 minutes.
5. Cool cookies on a wire rack.
6. Store in an air tight container out of reach of dogs, children and spouses…if you want any for yourself, that is.

To “Veganize”:

INGREDIENTS

* 2 cups sifted all-purpose flour
* 4 teaspoons ground ginger
* 3 teaspoons baking soda
* ½ teaspoon baking powder
* 1 tablespoon ground cinnamon
* Four pinches orange zest
* ¾ cup Earth Balance
* ¼ cup canned pumpkin
* 3 tablespoons arrowroot powder
* 1 cup white sugar
* ¼ cup dark molasses
* pinch of sea salt

A bit of cinnamon sugar – less than ¼ cup (cinnamon sugar is made by combining 1 tbsp cinnamon and ½ cup of sugar)

DIRECTIONS

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. Sift the flour, ginger, baking soda, arrowroot, baking powder, cinnamon, and salt into a mixing bowl. Stir the mixture to blend evenly, and sift a second time into another bowl.
3. Place the Earth Balance into a mixing bowl and beat until creamy. Gradually beat in the white sugar. Beat in the pumpkin and dark molasses. Sift 1/3 of the flour mixture into the Earth Balance mixture; stir to thoroughly blend. Sift in the remaining flour mixture, and mix together until a soft dough forms. Pinch off small amounts of dough and roll into 1 inch diameter balls between your hands. Roll each ball in cinnamon sugar, and place 2 inches apart on an ungreased baking sheet.
4. Bake in preheated oven until the tops are rounded and slightly cracked, about 10 minutes.
5. Cool cookies on a wire rack.
6. Store in an air tight container out of reach of dogs, children and spouses…if you want any for yourself, that is.

_{Note: A great resource for what can be used for egg replacements can be found at My Vegetarian Recipes.}

The exact origin of mead is unknown; but, its history can be traced throughout Europe, Asia, and Africa.  If we look toward archaeological evidence, it suggests that mead could have been a part of society as far back as 7000 BC.  The evidence in question is the identification of pottery from Northern China that contained a mixture of honey, rice and fruits along with compounds utilized in fermentation.¹ And, really, how can you not be fascinated by a drink that wound up being something that takes you back to the crazy, amazing Vikings? Their meadhalls are things of legend, no small thanks to tomes like Beowulf.

“LO, praise of the prowess of people-kings
of spear-armed Danes, in days long sped,
we have heard, and what honor the athelings won!
Oft Scyld the Scefing from squadroned foes,
from many a tribe, the mead-bench tore,
awing the earls. Since erst he lay
friendless, a foundling, fate repaid him:
for he waxed under welkin, in wealth he throve,
till before him the folk, both far and near,
who house by the whale-path, heard his mandate,
gave him gifts: a good king he!”²

Given my love of history, I find this absolutely fascinating. This drink has been around literally ages. What more fascinating piece of living history could there be? Well, other than knitting; but, that is a whole other discussion.

Back in the way back (about four thousand years ago) when a couple would marry, the bride’s father would supply them with all the mead that they needed/wanted for the next lunar cycle (what we now call a month). This is, from a few sources, the origin of the term “honeymoon”.

Honey is a main ingredient in mead

What is mead and why would “honey” be part of the term instead of “Meadmoon”? Mead is a honey-wine. It is made by fermenting honey, yeast and water, essentially. Though, you can add grains, spices, etc to flavor and otherwise add interest to the drink.

“The proportions of the honey and water determine the final strength and sweetness of the drink, also how long it takes to make. The ratio ranges from 1 lb. honey per gallon of water for a very light ‘soft-drink’ to 5 lbs. per gallon for a sweet dessert wine. The less honey, the lighter the mead, and the quicker it can be made.”³

This drink was such a solid and simple beverage to create that it never died out. Instead, it grew and expanded across the globe. Staying the same, at its base, for all these millenia.¹

Vāyu - the Lord of the winds, the father of Bhima and the spiritual father of Lord Hanuman.

In fact, this drink was so valued that years later it was spoken of in the Rigveda (1300-1000 BC) which is part of the four canonical sacred texts of Hinduism known as the Vedas.  The value of it was such that it was offered up to “God, as our Priest” for first drink.

“3 Adhvaryus, make the sweet libations ready, and bring the beautiful bright juice to Vāyu. God, as our Priest, be thou the first to drink it: we give thee of the mead to make thee joyful.
4  Two arms-the Soma’s dexterous immolators-and the ten fingers set and fix the press-stone. The stalk hath poured, fair with its spreading branches, the mead’s bright glittering juice that dwells on mountains.”⁴

The word, itself, comes from a wide variety of roots.

mead (1) ”fermented honey drink,” O.E. medu, from P.Gmc. *meduz (cf. O.N. mjöðr, Dan. mjød, O.Fris., M.Du. mede, Ger. Met ”mead”), from PIE base*medhu- ”honey, sweet drink” (cf. Skt. madhu ”sweet, sweet drink, wine, honey,” Gk. methy ”wine,” O.C.S. medu, Lith. medus ”honey,” O.Ir.mid, Welsh medd, Breton mez ”mead”). Synonymous but unrelated early M.E. meþeglin yielded Chaucer’s meeth.

mead (2) ”meadow,” O.E. mæd ”meadow,” from P.Gmc. *mædwon (cf. Du. made, Ger. Matte ”meadow,” O.E. mæþ ”harvest, crop”), from PIE *metwa-,from base *me- ”mow” (see mow).⁵

To make that more clear: The English word mead derives from the Old English meodu, from Proto-Germanic meduz, from Proto-Indo-European *médʰu (honey, fermented honey drink). Slavic med / miod , which means both “honey” and “mead”, (Czech, Slovak, Serbian, Bosnian, Bulgarian, Macedonian, Croatian: med vs. medovina, Polish ‘miód’ pronounce [mju:t] – honey, mead) and Baltic medus “honey”/midus “mead”, also derive from the same Proto-Indo-European root (cf. Welsh medd, Old Irish mid, and Sanskrit madhu).

And, now – for the fun stuff.

Here is a mead recipe from Kevin Karplus.  He based his recipes on Elizabethan style meads and are of the variety known as “metheglin” (or spiced).  Looking through all the recipes on the web (and in a couple of books), this one looked like the one I would be the most likely to try as my first mead.  This is just the ingredients list from Mr. Karplus’ recipe.  If it looks like something you would like to try, visit his page.  It is chock full of information and instructions on how to make this mead.  (I think I am going to give it a go.)

Batch: M7
Type: Sack Mead

3 gallons Water
16 lbs honey
1/4 cup keemun tea
1/4 cup oolong tea
2 tsp cinnamon
1/2 tsp whole aniseseed
18 cardamum seed clusters crushed (about 1 tsp)
20 whole allspice slightly crushed (about 3/4 tsp)
about 1 inch galingale root crushed (about 2 1/4 tsp)

(Fining agent: 1 pkg unflavored gelatin in 1 cup of water)

Started: 26 Dec 1981
Wine Yeast added: 27 Dec 1981
1 rack: 10 Jan 1982 (vat -> carboy)
2 rack: 31 Jan 1982 (carboy -> carboy)
3 rack: 30 April 1982 (carboy->carboy)
gelatin added: 23 May 1982
bottled: 3 July 1982
Yield: 3.7 gallons

Comments:
sweet, smooth, potent. A dessert wine.³

Bibliography:

1. McGovern, Patrick E., Juzhong Zhang, Guangsheng Cheng, Zhijun Zhao, Changsui Wang, Jigen Tang, Zhiqing Zhang, Gretchen R. Hall, Robert A. Moreau, Alberto Nuñez, Eric D. Butrym, Michael P. Richards, and Chen-shan Wang. “Fermented beverages of pre- and proto-historic China.” National Center for Biotechnology Information. N.p., 21 Dec. 2004. Web. 8 Dec. 2011. <http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC539767/?tool=pubmed>.
2. ”Beowulf.” Project Gutenberg. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Dec. 2011. <http://www.gutenberg.org/files/981/981-h/981-h.htm>.
3. Karplus, Kevin. “Mead .” Kevin’s Site. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Dec. 2011. <http://users.soe.ucsc.edu/~karplus/mead-recipe.html>.
4. Griffith, Ralph T.H.. “Hymn 5.” Rig Veda. 1896. vs 3 and 4. Print.
5. ”Online Etymology Dictionary.” Online Etymology Dictionary. N.p., n.d. Web. 8 Dec. 2011. <http://www.etymonline.com/index.php?term=mead>.

A while back, while I was living with my best friend, we whipped up some of these and they were amazingly good….and, I don’t like cooked zucchini. So – here is the first installment into the Tasty Tuesday portfolio:

Ingredients:

16 oz garbanzos/chickpeas
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice
5 tablespoons extra-virgin olive oil
4 garlic cloves, crushed and peeled
4 green onions, thinly sliced
1/4 cup chopped fresh cilantro
1 1/2 teaspoons turmeric
1 1/2 teaspoons smoked paprika
1 1/2 teaspoons ground cumin
1/2 teaspoon red chili powder
2 cups water
1 cup red quinoa
1 1/2 teaspoons coarse kosher salt
1 teaspoon coarse ground black pepper
1 1/2 pounds medium zucchini trimmed, halved lengthwise

Directions:

1. Get coals going on the grill. Ensure there is a stash of small bits of wet wood available to toss on for a nice smoke. (I don’t gas grill, so you can modify based on your own experience if you do).

2. Drain the garbanzos and pop them into a large bowl along with the lemon juice, garlic and half the olive oil. Let this sit for 15 minutes (longer won’t hurt anything).

3. Take the halved zucchini’s and gut them, leaving only the skins. Chop the zucchini guts up into bitty pieces and set aside.

4. In a medium sauce pan, heat up the remaining oil and put in 1 tsp of the tumeric, 1 tsp paprika and 1/2 tsp chili powder. Stir frequently and let heat until fragrant. (BTW, if you have whole cumin seeds, adding a pinch to this mix is quite tasty, too).

5. Add the water, quinoa and 1 tsp salt to the saucepan. Bring to a simmer. Cover and let simmer until all the water is absorbed. Stir occassionally. Keep an eye on your heat and make sure it stays at a simmer, not a boil.

7. Back to the zucchini guts and garbanzos. Drain off the marinade. Keep the garlic, just get rid of the excess lemon juice and oil. Dump the zucchini in with the garbanzos.

8. Slice the green onions and chop the parsley and add them in with the zucchini and garbanzos.

9. Toss the zucchini and garbanzos with the remaining cumin, tumeric and paprika until evenly coated.

10. Sprinkle the zucchini skins with salt and pepper.

11. Take the quinoa and dump in with the zucchini and garbanzos. Toss to mix thoroughly.

12. Take the bowl with the zucchini and garbanzos and quinoa, and the zucchini skins and go out to the grill.

13. Put some of the wood bits onto the hot coals. (repeat this step as necessary to keep a light smoke going)

14. Take the zucchini skin and fill it with the mixture of quinoa, zuchinni and garbanzos.

15. Place the stuffed zucchini on the grill. Adjust your fire so that it’s not all concentrated in one area. You want a moderate heat to cook the zucchini boats slowly and ensure that the garbanzos and zucchini stuffing cooks through before the skin gets burned.

16. Repeat until all the zucchini skins have been stuffed and put on the grill.

14. Grill until the zucchini bits are tender and the skin is getting a bit brown.

15. Remove and serve.

My serving suggestion – serve this hot off the grill with some Na’an bread that’s been sitting on the side of the grill getting nice and warm. A bit of wine and good friends – and, you’ve got a wonderful, tasty, healthy meal. And, even most zucchini haters will wind up enjoying it.

So…I made some. I took various sound bites from train stations and trains around and about and snagged small sections to make the .wav files for my sound bites.

I decided there might be one or two out there who’d like them, so I am posting them here as a .zip file. Enjoy! I just ask that these sounds bites not be used in pay theme packages.

Stempunk Sounds

A little over two years ago, I had a week that nearly drove me to my knees.  I lost a dear, dear, dear friend of mine to the arms of Death while we were in a argument.  My marriage was annulled. The house I was going to close on had to be let go to the way side.  And I lost my job.  I had no place to live because I’d given notice to my landlord and she was taking the house for herself.  On the tail of all that – I got struck with Bell’s Palsy.

I’m not quite sure how many people laugh when they get struck with Bell’s Palsy. I remember driving myself to the emergency room – to the tune of my best friend telling me I was insane and should wait for her to get there to take me – and, all the way there saying that if it wasn’t a stroke, I could deal with anything else.  I’d seen what a stroke had done to my great-grandfather and to my cousin Bill.  I wanted none of it.

My mantra all the way there was “if it’s not a stroke, it’s a blessing”.  So, when the doc told me that it was Bell’s Palsy and it may or may not clear up, I laughed in relief.  I had worked with someone who had Bell’s Palsy that never cleared up and I knew what the prognosis was.  It wasn’t that I was just ignorant – it was that I really didn’t care if I was partially paralyzed for life.  As I told Debbie, “It’s the perfect character reference.”

For months following that, every time I’d forget about my palsy and would dump food or drink down my chest, I’d laugh.  I truly found it amusing.  Maybe I’m a little loose in the screws in my attic.  Who knows?  But, the palsy hit, just like everything else, at the perfect time.  My parents were in Austin passing through on a trip through Texas for their anniversary.  They were here for me when my life was falling apart for the second time.  They and Debbie kept me sane and helped me get my stuff shoved into a storage unit – weeding out about half of what I owned in the process.  Then, mom and dad bundled me up and hauled me back home to Alabama.

I stayed in Alabama with my parents for a couple of months, recuperating from the palsy.  I mostly recovered and the little bit of residual effect is not something anyone would notice except me.  Some numbness in the face and an occasional pull on that side of my face when I get too stressed.

I looked around for tech jobs in the area, hoping to find something that would keep me close to home.  I was tired, fed up with relationships, and just wanted to curl up in the lap of my family (ie.  Grady).  Yeah – not really a whole lot of tech jobs around that area.  Finally, I was down to my last few dollars and knew I had to either get a low paying job in the area or try elsewhere.  So, I took a stab in the dark and asked Q in California to take me on.  Serendipitously, my old boss (from Dell and QLogic) was out in California with Q at the time and she told them they’d be nuts to not bring me on.  So, refusing to pay relocation, they offered me a job.  I put what I could in my car and headed to California…muttering all the way.  I hate that state with a passion…even more now that I’ve lived there.

I arrived in California to the best room mate I’ve ever had.  I had hooked up with him on a site called roommates.com and wasn’t at all sure what I was going to find.  It turns out I found one of the most sweethearted, kindest, most gentle souls on the planet. You couldn’t ask for a better room mate.  I poked around and found some places to dance and met up with The Honky Tonk Kings in San Juan Capistrano.  Their bass player at the time (Grant) saved me from having to get really mean with a little guy who just could not understand the word “No”.  The HTKs told me they were playing the following week down south a ways and said I should go catch their show.  So – I hauled myself the hour and a half one way and did.  Little did I know that that would bring me to a place where I would meet my future husband.

A few months later, Mike shows up at The Renegade in El Cajon, California. He was working on a wooden boat for his friend and so was up from Mexico where he had been happily ensconced for the last year.  All I knew was there was this guy blocking my way and dancing a bit by himself with his beer bottle – oh, and he had on a white shirt, wranglers and a black hat.  He was facing away from me and I walked up and told him, “You know, that works better with a partner.”  The next thing I knew, we were on the dance floor – and, we didn’t miss a step.  For those who don’t dance partners dancing, when you hook up with a new dance partner, there’s always a moment or two of adjustment and inevitably someone bumps/stomps on someone else’s foot.  Didn’t happen.  I recall Mike’s eyes lighting up like the Fourth of July as he leaned forward and told me I was a Ferrari.  It made me laugh.  Our fates were sealed – though neither of us were aware of it at the time.  Not one iota of interest was to be had by either of us in forming a relationship – until the relationship beat us over the heads. Life is good like that – keeps you on your toes.

Seven months later, Mike asked me to marry him.  Six months later, we were married.  Nine months after that, we were leaving California.  Well, I was, anyway.  Mike had gone to Guatemala to do some volunteer work.  While he was gone, I had gotten a call from a company in Georgia called Technisource.  They were staffing for a company called TSYS.  While the pay would have been significantly less, the benefits of being closer ot my family and able to be there for them – and vice versa – made it a very attractive offer.  They also offered relocation – which meant I could finally get my stuff from Austin.  Yes, my stuff had been sitting in Austin storage for two years.  After some interesting back and forth, a relocation amount was settled on and the notices were given.

The day to leave California arrived.  I checked my bank account – no money for relocation.  I called.  Oh, yeah…”The money will be in your account sometime in the next 48 hours.”  This made me a very unhappy camper.  Had my father not flown out to help me move, I’d have been without a home and without a truck…me and my stuff on the side of the road.  What an attractive idea.  However, my father was there, once again coming to the rescue.  The truck was acquired along with the car hauler (both the truck and the car hauler had been upgraded at  no cost to us because they were out of what I’d reserved).  Off we went, heading cross country to Georgia.

When we hit Phoenix, we had dinner with my Great Uncle Ernest and his wife, Lynda.  We went to this place called the Rustler’s Rooste.  Great food – the band, however, was sub-par at best. When Uncle Ernie walked up, there was no doubting he was my Pa’s little brother.  He looked so much like Pa that it startled me for a moment.

He has the Freeman sense of humor and was an absolute hoot to visit with.  I wish we could have stayed longer; but, we had a deadline to meet to get to Columbus, GA.  I was to start my job on the 7th of July.  That didn’t give much time to get there and get settled.

I’m so happy they made the drive to see us and that we were able to visit.  I love my family, even if I don’t see them regularly.  They are very important to me.  And, this was just a wonderful blessing.  Little did I know that my blessings would continue.

The trip was uneventful and comfortable.  The truck we’d rented was a joy to drive – even being a 26′ behemoth. About the second construction zone I was feeling pretty confident about where I was on the road.  By the fourth, I had it down cold. The company was great (my dad) and the weather wasn’t bad.  We still hadn’t gotten the money for the relocation so dad continued to rack up the fees.  I continued to be a tad bothered at how haphazard things were given the fact that it was my life people were messing with.  But, the money would get there eventually and all would be good – afterall, my dad was playing superhero again.  Yes, I’m a daddy’s girl – and, for good reason.

We rolled into Austin on the 31st.  I pulled the truck up outside of Debbie’s and we piled out (minus some of my fish that got par boiled along the way – a story for another time) and visited for a while.  I called up a friend of mine who had said he wanted to get dinner while I was in town and we made plans to meet up at the Outback off of Research Blvd. the following night.  We settled in, cooled off, and face planted into bed.

The following morning, I dug out my laptop and checked my email.  Needing to see how my honey was doing and let him know how the trip was going, I was anxious to get online.  The day was intended to be a fairly lazy day.  Dad was going to go up and visit his friend, Norman, and Debbie and I were just going to hang out and have a ‘girls’ day’.  The following day, we intended to load the truck up in the morning and continue to head on our merry way to Columbus, GA.

It’s a good thing that intentions are not something that are immutable. Life, I have found, loves to throw curveballs.  Plan and get your ducks in a row – and always, always, be ready to throw it all out the window when Life comes knocking.  Gotta know how to roll with it – ride the waves…Life’s good at keeping you on your toes and very aware that you are not the one in charge.

So – back to checking my email.  There was a message from Mike waiting for me.  It made my day to be able to talk to him for a while.  Then, going through my ridiculous amount of trash email, I notice a name from my past.  Stephanie had contacted me.  I figured it’d be a “hey! I heard you were passing through Austin.  Hope all goes well with the new job” kind of thing.  I was seriously mistaken.

Yes, she had heard I had left Q.  She had heard that I was moving to Georgia.  She did wish me well if I chose to continue to work for that company.  However, she had positions open here in Austin – and, wouldn’t I rather live here?  I stared at the screen for a couple of moments.  Let out a stunned breath and then whooped loud enough that five, little dogs jumped and Dad and Debbie asked what in the world was going on.  I couldn’t respond fast enough.  I told Stephanie I was in town for the day and she had 24 hours to give me the details. After some back and forth it was determined that if I stayed here I’d make significantly more than in Georgia.  The position would be one I’d just be stupid not to take.  The only catch – I had to go through the formalities before I’d get my official offer letter.  So – I could continue on to the ‘guarantee’ in Columbus – or, I could take a leap of faith, put my trust in someone who I’ve worked with and built a solid working relationship, and stay in Austin for the job here.

Well, maybe I’m a little insane.  Maybe my ability to trust hasn’t been as damaged by my past as I thought.  I took the leap of faith.  I was no longer heading to Columbus. Instead, I had come home.  Instead of loading the truck the next day, we planned to unload it into the storage unit.  Debbie graciously extended the offer of a place to stay with her while I looked for a home, and the wheels started rolling in a completely unexpected and different direction.  I’ve never seen someone look so pole axed as when I told Frank that night at dinner.

It made me giggle.  We had so much fun hanging out and talking.  Dad regaled us with stories as he is wont to do.  Debbie was a great sport about her plans and schedule being totally trashed.  And, it was just a great time all around.  It felt like a huge celebration – even with only the four of us there.

Dad had gone on up to see his friend; but, Debbie and I had spent the day looking at houses to rent/buy and discussing how we would handle things until I got my first paycheck/was able to move out.  How many people can say they have a friend that will upend their lives for them on the spur of the moment like that?  And, on a leap of faith?  I am truly beyond blessed in my life.

Life never quite goes like we intend it to go.  Plans never quite follow through exactly as expected.  It’s a great dance, this thing we call life.  And, so long as you learn how to be a good dance partner – and, realize that Life is always the one in the lead – you’ll never have more fun than when you let go, let loose and learn to follow.

Life is the dance
Love is the song
Laughter is the melody

I hope you dance.

Considering many who have met him and heard the tales have requested the same thing, I was very happy to see him take the suggestion of a professional writer to heart. Here’s hoping he gets the book completed. I believe it will be a compelling read. As you can see in the article, there is much to be told. I’m so glad these things are being forced into the light of day and that my husband was one of the few that, despite the risks to themselves, stood up for those who desperately needed it.

The article in the New Yorker paper magazine/online copy: http://www.newyorker.com/reporting/2011/06/06/110606fa_fact_stillman
The New Yorker blog post: http://www.newyorker.com/online/blogs/newsdesk/2011/06/stillman-whistleblower.html

Here’s the recipe for those who are interested in a healthier alternative to this traditional breakfast.

Ingredients:

1 ¼ cups Silk^® vanilla soy milk
2 tsp white vinegar
1 ½ cups flour
3 ½ tsp baking powder
2 tbsp sugar
2 tsp cinnamon
1 ½ tsp Ener-G^® Egg Replacer (1 egg if you prefer)
2 tbsp water
3 tbsp Earth Balance^®
Chopped walnuts – optional
Grade B Maple Syrup – optional

Directions:

1. Heat non-stick griddle to 350° F.
2. In a small bowl, pour the soy milk and add the white vinegar.  Stir together and let sit.
3. In a large bowl, sift together the dry ingredients.
4. In a small bowl, mix together the egg replacer and water.
5. In a small sauce pan, melt the Earth Balance^®.
6. Pour the egg replacer and the Earth Balance^® into the soy milke and mix thoroughly.
7. Make a well in the center of the dry ingredients and pout in the liquid mix.
8. Whisk the wet ingredients into the dry by starting in the center of the wet ingredients and slowly moving toward the dry. As each bit of dry incorporates into the wet ingredients, move a little more into the dry ingredients until all if fully incorporated. Whisk until smooth.
9. Use a ladel to measure the amount to put onto the griddle. One ladel full = one pancake.
10. Mike likes nuts in his food. So, though I cannot eat them due to allergies, I do try to add them for him when possible. Today, I poured the batter onto the griddle and then put a handful of chopped walnuts on each pancake for Mike. Doing it this way, the tops of the pancakes look “normal” because the top has already seered by the time you get the chopped nuts on to the batter…so it gives a nice surprise to the person being served.
11. I put the maple syrup jug in a small sauce pan ¾ filled with water and heat it to just simmering to heat the syrup while the pancakes cook on the griddle.

I tossed a few turkey sausage patties on the griddle for Mike this morning as well. So, he got to enjoy his ‘traditional’ breakfast with a healthier twist.