ScienceFictionTwin

Funniest Family Video Ever

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sun, 03 Aug 2008 15:32:48 PDT

We're back from vacation. And, seriously, I'm not happy about it. I want to be a park ranger and live in a small town. Might have to figure out how to do that.

Anyway, while I'm tagging photos and sorting through video please enjoy the funniest thing we've ever videotaped. It's what's known as "The Spider Incident".

Matilda found a very large spider in the loft. And by large I mean it clearly had been exposed to radiation. From stem to stern it was about the size of a tennis ball. It was horrifying. I went to kill it. It would not die. This is the future of bugs people.

Anyway, Chris video taped and Gert, well, she assisted Matilda and I. Hilarity ensued.

On Top of Old Smoky

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Fri, 25 Jul 2008 18:18:00 PDT

I'll be away for a while. Unplugged and enjoying nature. In the meantime:

My Odd Family

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 24 Jul 2008 12:43:44 PDT

A new teen in the house:

Matilda's Birthday from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Hey, We're Being Watched!

Hip Hop Handjive from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Toward the Peacock

Toward the Peacock from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Gert's Jersey

Rest Stop Gert from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Junior Directeur Sportif

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sun, 20 Jul 2008 09:50:30 PDT

Little Gert has suddenly become the most demanding directeur sportif in all of cycling. After every ride I have the following conversation:

Gert: How far did you ride?

Me: 25 miles.

Gert: That's it? That's not even 30 miles!

No matter how far, how fast or how far I ride it's never far enough, fast enough, hard enough. She's a demanding trainer.

With that attitude, and the way it makes me want to try harder to please her, I think she may be the first female DS to ever lead a team to win Le Tour. Maybe?

Mmmm Porky

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 14:12:06 PDT

I could use some ribs right now. I mean, in a really bad way.

Someone hook me up.

Holy fu...

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Wed, 09 Jul 2008 06:05:11 PDT

Ow. I started a new core training program to mix in with my usual riding today. It's et outside, I needed a rest day and I figured, why not? Good day, right?

How can I describe the pain and humiliation of the first day of this workout? By the end I was talking to dead relatives I never met. What's amazing is that this workout was just three circuits lasting 7 minutes each with rest periods in between, a five minute warm-up on the bike and a stretching cool down. All in all, it was under 35 minutes of actual work. But in my head it was seven hours of trudging through the desert wearing a suit of bricks.

I can say this though: I may finally drop the ten pounds that won't seem to go away. I'll also be stronger and it will really help with much of the riding, both in strength and endurance.

Now I'm going to go cry in the corner. I know eventually this won't hurt as much.

Make Lemonade

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sun, 29 Jun 2008 11:20:22 PDT

Yesterday Gert and a friend grabbed a table, made a sign and set up a lemonade stand on the driveway. They had cups, napkins, the whole nine-yards. A fantastic six-year-old effort and a childhood rite of passage. But their approach was different.

The lemonade was free. But you could donate money for "homeless babies and pets". All together they raised $13, half of which was given to the stray rescue people and the other half is being sent to a babies in need program in tomorrow's mail.

Right now Gert's upset because it's raining. She was planning on raising money for cancer today. Now her free lemonade stand is on hold.

If you happen to be in the neighborhood and see a stand offering free lemonade, stop on by.

It takes a pretty special kid to spend several hours making signs, setting up a stand and sitting out in the hot sun only to give away the lemonade and donate any money they get to charity.

I think we could all learn a lesson from Gert's approach to life. I know I did.

Mixed Emotions

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sat, 28 Jun 2008 11:18:12 PDT

Sitting here migrating files and what not to a new computer. It's more fun than ever. But I'm listening to the groovy mix I'm putting together for my sister's Fourth of July BBQ. Two CDs: Hot Summer Days & Cool Summer Nights. A lot of classic soul and funk and even a little Horace Silver. Good music to drink and talk to.

But as I'm sitting here I realize how freaking weird it is having a teenager living here. She used to be a lot shorter, talked funny and played with dolls. Now she's tall, talks to boys and has a really sharp wit. She's also a little strange. But hey, weird kids make interesting adults, right?

Okay, back to copying files and listening to some nice funky music. Helps the time pass.

Need More Time

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 26 Jun 2008 05:25:24 PDT

I thought summer was supposed to be relaxing. How is it possible that we have less time every day in the summer than during the school year? It has been insane around here. Absolutely insane. Chris and I see each other for about 45 minutes at the end of the day.

That is all. I have no point. No funny stories. Unless you think round is funny.

Oh, Grace Potter & the Nocturnals are coming to Live On (off) the Levee. I won't be here. Sigh. My brother is going to go for me and make indecent remarks. Neko Case is coming in September. It's a Wednesday. Chris and I are trying to work out the details for that, since tickets go on sale shortly.

Dance & Cheer

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sun, 22 Jun 2008 18:46:35 PDT

Gert went to Dance & Cheer camp last week. Naturually, my kid was the one who looked like she was going to a Misfits concert. It was cute. This is one of the moves she brought to the class:

Patented Gert Move from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

How could they harness that sort of raw energy? More here.

And, this is what happens when Matilda gets a hold of the Flip:

Our Kitchen from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Current Conditions

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 12:27:47 PDT

Of one my my favorite cycling routes. Poor farmers out there.

Father's Day

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 19:35:50 PDT

Father's Day from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Tour of Missouri

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 07:43:09 PDT

It's in September and, for the second year in a row, the person I was going to travel with has had to drop out. Anyone wanna go? I've been saving my vacation time for it. I'd hate to have gone through seven months without taking a day off and not be able to follow a few stages.

I buy you pork and beer.

This is where actually having friends might come in handy. Sigh.

Children's Story

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Mon, 16 Jun 2008 11:16:23 PDT

I'm not answering email today. Don't take it personally. I'm preparing for a conference on Wednesday and Thursday and have to learn everything I can about my client's product line since, ostensibly, I'm selling it. My client can't be there so I am his proxy. Maybe I'll sign a new book for him...I'm also demoing some sort of technology that I haven't seen yet. This could be interesting.

Father's Day? Videos to come. But, in a word, awesome. KATY ride, lunch with in-laws, man-sized hamburgers and ribs for dinner, laying on the couch bloated and tired. Success.

A few things: Gert made me cry. Long story. But when she said, "Daddy I know that you love me" for some reason it just opened up some river of emotion. She didn't see me cry. She still makes fun of me tearing up at the end of Field of Dreams. But, for some reason, the purity of her comment just killed me.

It could be because her sister had secretly made me a video about her favorite thing about me (I am funny and sing silly songs all the time). But, also, if you bother me while I'm working apparently I "go all WOOOOO" on you.

There were two quotes from this weekend that, unfortunately, I did not get to record. Gert and Mom were the culprits and, no I won't explain:

"I don't want to be the penis."

"It tastes like clown vomit."

Those go down in the hall of fame.

Like Father Like Daughter

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Sat, 14 Jun 2008 05:43:58 PDT

Hard Morning from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Apache

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 13:14:16 PDT

The ghost of Geronimo came back and killed Tommy Seebach. At least we can hope. Dig that funky dancing at the 2:50 mark.

Okay, I have to cleanse that pallate. Here's a much better song with the same name.

Oh fuck it. I'll ruin that too.

Sucker Theather

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 09:20:15 PDT

So Gert already had a flat on her new bike. She has daddy's good luck. I've discovered that glueless patch kits are roughly useless compared to the old ones. Sure, they get you back home but not with confidence. Granted, I've only used the patch kits to patch other people's flats. I'm a tube carrier. You can get the tube switched out in half the time and be on your way. Just cuts out the middle man.

So I went out and bought a traditional patch kit with real glue. The kind that allows you to fix the flat and get a nice model airplane high. And I needed to get Gert a new tube.

Instead, I bought three tubes for 20 inch bikes. Why? Well, it's possible Gert will destroy hers again. I've seen her ride. But I thought about all those kids with 20x1.75 tires riding around the neighborhood and thought about all the dads who would probably let that flat tire sit in the garage because they didn't know how to change the tube. So color me a sucker.

Yes, I'll even use them for the neighbor kids who are being raised by wolves. Even feral children deserve proper bike rides.

Gert's Big Ride

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Mon, 09 Jun 2008 13:37:07 PDT

Gert got a brand new bike this weekend. The very first one that wasn't previously owned and abused by a sibling or another kid. The model is a "Pixie", which she loves. It's very sporty. It's a decent bike. This should last her a few years, I hope.

We rode the KATY on Saturday morning and had a fantastic time. Gert was determined to make it to Frontier park in historic St. Charles, which is a little less than 5 miles from the trail head. Ultimately she did a little over 9 miles that day. Here's the proof:

Gert's First KATY Ride from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.
Riding behind the Family Arena.

Interview with Gert from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.
Taking a break just shy of her goal. We tried to tell her that we could turn around, that she'd done more than expected. But, she was determined. By the time we got back to the steep series of ramps that took us out of the river valley and I shot off to catch and school some dick who buzzed by Gert without announcing himself, Mom offered Gert the opportunity to walk. She refused and fought her way up most of the climb. Her legs gave out about 100 feet from the end. You can kind of see how big the climb is, especially for a 6-year-old, here. That's taken from the bridge which is level with the parking lot. You can see the asphalt leading up.

Apple and tree seem pretty close...

Oh, and I blew past that asshole at 16 mph up hill while he was struggling to find the right gear while still looking studly in front of his slutty girlfriend. Kind of hard to do when some geek like me not only passes you on the climb but scolds you about nearly running a six-year-old off the trail. Again: Dick.

Celebration Dance from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.
She made it to her goal and here is her celebratory dance. At least I think it's a dance. Then we had to turn around and make the same distance back. Though she was tired in the end, she was cheerful and hilarious the entire time. And when I told her that the people who had just passed us were getting further away her face tightened and she started to hammer. If she had a little more energy she would have caught and passed those stupid adults.

It's Not On! from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.
This is about a mile from the ramp to the parking lot. She's cute.

Passing Strange

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 14:52:29 PDT

Preview:

Performances from the Obie Awards:

Feed the Birds

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 08:07:48 PDT

Ever tried to sprint into a 20 mph headwind in order to escape a bird trying to tear through your helmet and eat your brains? (Or protect its fledglings, depends on your perspective).

It's hard.

Really hard.

It hurt. A lot.

But I escaped. Hopefully without bird flu.

This Weekend DaVinci Cried

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 03 Jun 2008 13:07:02 PDT

Rennaisance Faire from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Got the father of the year nomination when at the Renaissance Faire I borrowed money from my daughter to buy beer.

When you watch the above video you'll understand why.

Oh Yeah

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 27 May 2008 09:13:51 PDT

Passing Strange soundtrack is out. Go buy the "pre-release release" from iTunes. (Warning: Will launch iTunes.)

It's pretty darn good. Having issues with hearing other people singing with Stew's phrasing and rhythms. I'm used to Heidi doing it, but hearing another guy doing a Stew turn of the phrase is just weird.

I have to admit that the ending surprised me. Having not seen the show, it's hard to actually know how it resolves (nor should you tell me) but the way it ends is an interesting choice.

State of the Union

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Tue, 27 May 2008 05:58:43 PDT

Not riding nearly enough because of work and weather. Compared to last year my fitness sucks. Granted, it's better than average, but still.

Then, today is the last day of Kindergarten. Can't believe that.

And in less than a month a teenager will be living in this house. Wow. When I started dating her mom she was just about to turn three. It's been an interesting decade.

You Brush Your Teeth

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Thu, 22 May 2008 06:46:14 PDT

Brush Your Teeth from Gary O'Brien on Vimeo.

Gert's way in the back. Third to last when they leave the stage.

My Stupid Brother Part II

noreply@blogger.com (Gary O'Brien) — Mon, 19 May 2008 05:55:32 PDT

Jeff Tweedy
Originally uploaded by scifitwin

So we all went to see Wilco on Friday night. Of course, anyone who knows me knows I love Wilco. Listen to their music constantly, have all the albums, all the b-sides, all the single tracks from soundtracks and on and on and on (which that's even a Wilco reference).

My big brother got me into the after show thanks to Jeff's Aunt. I had the opportunity to talk to Jeff for a few minutes about music, he thanked me profusely and kindly and patted me on the back. Probably because he thought I was a total farb. Actually, I told him I didn't want to be a total Clark Griswold and I wouldn't take up too much time, which he thought was funny.

Still, it was a thrill for me. But probably not as thrilling as it was for Jeff to meet me, of course. Who wouldn't be thrilled to hear me mumble something incoherent, stutter and ultimately say something stupid.

Talked to Nels Cline about his bag and his shoes for a bit. Turns out we have the same taste in shoes, and he has narrow feet. Nice guy, but he's an odd man. Of course, I'm the one who brought up the shoes.

All in all, great show and amazing after show experience. The next morning, while riding my bike and battling a raging headache from lack of sleep, I kept thinking how weird it was that I had actually chatted with Jeff Tweedy the night before. I know he's just a guy, but seriously, he has a few of those songs that I play in my head as my personal soundtrack. So it was a mixture of an honor and a surreal moment.

Thanks to my brother and Jeff's aunt!