Scion of NLP

Is this world really worth living in? (Part 2)

Daniel — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 19:22:35 +0000

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Part 2 of 2

As I was saying … depression is about how you filter the things you experience in this world. Let’s use me as an example …

“Hi. I’m Dan, and I’m depressing.”
(BTW, this is where you’re all supposed to say in unison, “Hi Dan.”)

Okay … looking at my filters — I value things like being respectful, fairness, kindness, working hard, getting what you deserve, good triumphs over evil, everyone has a right to their own opinion, freedom, etc. … those are the things I feel are important in our world. Things I believe include; people should respect one another (you don’t always have to agree but everyone should be allowed to have their own point of view), people need to take responsibility for themselves and their choices, everyone should treat other the way they want to be treated, people should learn to be inter-dependent rather than co-dependent, etc.

I think most people would agree that those beliefs and values are not too outrageous … and, in fact, a lot of you may agree with some of them. So how the hell could I ever use those to get depressed? … Hmmmm?

Well, think of it like this … instead of using those filters to look for examples of them happening in our world, what if — just pretend for a moment — what if a person used those values and beliefs to habitually look for examples of how they DON’T exist in our world? Imagine growing up to sort your awareness for things that aren’t the way they should be — imagine going out into the world and everything you experience your unconscious mind spends the majority of the time deleting, distorting, and generalizing what you see, hear, and feel to only focus on examples of disrespect, unfairness, cruelty, some people getting everything while others get nothing, situations where the bad guys get off while the good guy suffers, people have the freedom to do anything but never given the means, etc. … imagine your mind only allowing you to remember the parts of events where smart people aren’t listened to, one person is held accountable for another person’s mistake, people in power treating others with contempt and disregard while at the same time demanding and taking support and praise simply because they have the means/money to do it … imagine living in a world where those were the ONLY things that existed …

I believe most people would think that’s a pretty shitty world … but wait! … now imagine that your mind has a habit of sitting around all day focusing on those terrible memories and playing them over, and over, and over again in your head!

Now … how long do you think you could last being mentally tortured like that every day of your life? … how many years would it be before you finally came to the conclusion that this is how it will be every day till the end of your life? … how much could you withstand before you reached your breaking point and simply wanted to give up? … how many times would you ask yourself, “Is this world really worth living in?” before you resolutely answered yourself with “No.”?

NOW THE FLIP-SIDE!

On the other side of this coin I’ll tell you I have realized what that depressing part of my mind does … today I can actually catch myself focusing on the negative and discounting the positive!

Yes, I know that’s not how the world really is … and, for the most part I work hard to try and see the good things; however, I’ve had 25 years of practice seeing only the bad … and only 5 years working at trying to curb those negative thought patterns (all the while, those same filters being constantly applied to my efforts — *argh!*).

The issue at this point is: How long does a depressed person have to practice pretending this world IS worth living in before they finally believe that statement more than the opposite? … Hmmmm? … How many licks to the center of a tootsie-pop? — The answer is gonna be different for every person … but, I’ll tell you that the more you work at it the stronger it becomes.

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Is this world really worth living in? (Part 1)

Daniel — Sat, 21 Aug 2010 19:21:46 +0000

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Part 1 of 2

One of the toughest things for people without depression to understand seems to be WHY anyone would prefer to die over living … and it seems like a fair question, so I’m gonna try and answer it.

Through the many discussions I’ve had with Jodie I’ve discovered that talking about it and trying to explain the depressive point of view on the world has given me certain insights to the filters a depressor uses (or at least, the ones I use). In NLP we recognize that a person’s perception of an experience is simply whatever is left after their Mind has filtered all the awarenesses coming in through the 5 senses — the person’s Mind will have deleted the parts that it doesn’t feel are important, generalized the parts that it thinks can be lumped together, and distorted anything that doesn’t quite fit into the way it thinks the world should work … and anything that’s left, their Mind will apply meaning to and put it into their memory as that person’s perception of what happened and why.

Now, the 2 main pieces a person’s brain uses to filter perceptions are their personal Values and Beliefs — Values being what they think is important in this world, what they feel is right and wrong, what they define as good and bad, etc. … and Beliefs being what they believe to be true about how the world works — this includes both universal laws (ex. I jump up and gravity will bring me down) and behavioral expectations (ex. if you bump into someone you should apologize). This is usually where problems begin to manifest on our little planet — the things that one person/community/culture/etc. Value and Believe are not always the same as what another person/community/culture/etc. Value and Believe … so then, the question is: What does a person with depression Value and Believe?

That’s good question, so I’ll try to answer it …

From my experiences I can tell you that most people with depression aren’t as messed up as society would have you believe. … and, in fact, I’ve usually found that people with depression often have a just as balanced sense of core values and beliefs as most people you’d run into from day to day. (I can already hear the psychiatrists out there gasping and grabbing their chests in panic — how could that statement possibly be true?) You see, depression isn’t necessarily about having the wrong values and beliefs (although, sometimes that is a part of it) — the truth is that depression is about how you filter the things you experience in this world … it’s about how you apply those filters.

CLICK HERE TO READ PART 2

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The Religion of Anonymous

Daniel — Fri, 20 Aug 2010 02:06:31 +0000

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Some people may be wondering, with all the harsh posts and articles I’ve been writing for different websites lately that have been attacking the internet “gang” known as Anonymous: Why am I disrespect’n Anon so much? … why I gotta be such a hater?

Well … I’m not — in fact, I used to be a huge supporter of the Anonymous movement before it became a culture (cult?) of it’s own … I agreed with their ideology of using the freedom of anonymity to expose and attack the corrupt and dishonest people and organizations who rule our world — they were a way for the little guy to fight back against the overpowering tyranny of big industries and our self-serving governments; however, today anon, like anything that is taken over by the masses, has become polluted with zealots and haters — the ones who have let the power of anon go to their heads and begun using that freedom as their own personal weapon against every little petty grievance they experience in this world … their own *personal* injustices! Oh, don’t misunderstand — these people all claim what they do is in the name of *the greater good* and to *save/protect us all* …

… but they’ve become nothing more than cyber-bullies pretending their individual vendettas are a shared belief across all the world wide web. Well, I don’t want them to speak for me anymore (I’ll speak for myself, thanks) and I don’t buy into every individual on each forum and in every chat room and across all the hacker sites claiming to represent the Anon culture — the ones who are just looking to take back a little bit of the power they’ve lost in their own personal life … the ones who don’t deserve to wear the Guy Fawkes mask that symbolizes Anonymous.

Sadly … just like the old axiom, “Power corrupts, and absolute power corrupts absolutely” — so it has become with Anonymous …

Wanna know more about Anon?

For a basic explanation about the internet culture known as Anonymous I recommend starting with the Wiki article and do Google searches from there … CLICK HERE to start learning more about Anon today.

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Humanitarianism — it’s just another childhood myth …

Daniel — Tue, 17 Aug 2010 16:33:28 +0000

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Although he’s too old for it now, I used to read bedtime stories to my son when he was wee-little — my favorite ones were Dr. Seuss, but I’ve always remembered how fun it was when I’d read him Silverstein poems, too.

One of the poems that has stuck with me over the years was one about a little boy asking a question of the Zebra at the zoo … and the Zebra responded by asking the child a whole bunch of questions back …

Zebra Question

by Shel Silverstein

I asked the Zebra,
Are you black with white stripes?
Or white with black stripes?

And the zebra asked me,
Are you good with bad habits?
Or are you bad with good habits?
Are you noisy with quiet times?
Or are you quiet with noisy times?
Are you happy with some sad days?
Or are you sad with some happy day?
Are you neat with some sloppy ways?
Or are you sloppy with some neat ways?
And on and on and on and on
And on and on he went.

I’ll never ask a zebra
About stripes
Again.

The reason it stuck with me is because it reminded me of an old question that my psychology professor had the class discuss and write a paper on — Are people naturally good, but occasionally commit bad deeds? … or, are people naturally bad, but occasionally act good?

At the time I wrote my paper from the perspective that people are basically good with only a few rotten apples in the bunch that ruin things for everyone. Today, however, my point of view has changed dramatically … these days I truly believe that the majority of people are, at their core, naturally self-focused with an innate desire to harm those around them (mentally, emotionally, or physically).

From the violently insane criminals who physically attack and torture people, right down to the jealous co-worker who makes two-faced, backstabbing comments about people they work with … or the spouse who uses fear, obligation, and guilt as a way to passive-aggressively control their partner … people in general seem to have a natural tendency to end up doing and saying things that hurt others — it’s just seems like that’s who we are as a species.

For the Love of Mankind, My Ass!

Before the arguments against my claims being focused on things too small and close to home — before people say I need to look at the bigger picture — I ask you to consider this simple thought: With all the suffering, starvation, war, disease, pain, sadness, sickness — all the terrible things happening every day in the world — if we, as a unified species, put our combined effort and intention to just focusing on fixing one or two of these issues … what do you think would happen? How easily could we overcome the problems plaguing humanity?

Now, the most interesting thing is, everyone who is reading this as an individual can agree that working together we can accomplish a billion times more than attempting to do things competitively … but, when you group us together as families, communities, countries, etc. it seems like we begin to lose that rationality and take on an emotionally-driven mob-mentality — fighting for each of our own personal interests and forgetting the original goal of overcoming adversity for the greater good of all … thinking OUR way of improving things is what will improve the group overall (and everyone else be damned — they’re all wrong!).

Industries, businesses, communities, countries, religions; they all have a group mentality which drives them to focus their effort, money, policies, procedures towards their own gain … just like the leaders of those groups focus their leadership persuasion towards getting the individual personal gain just for themselves.

… And, to prove my point, I offer you the Billion-Dollar-o-Gram chart that was published on the Information Is Beautiful website (included below) — specifically, I draw your attention to the size of the areas meant to represent what’s needed to lift 1 billion people out of extreme poverty, to save the Amazon rain forest, and to eradicate AIDS worldwide … and compare them to what the other areas showing where we as a society put our money … yeah … and then try to tell me that people aren’t truly selfish bastards deep down.

(CLICK THE IMAGE FOR FULL SIZE)

I know … I know … some of you might say that I’ve become cynical with age. Others will simply blame it all on my depressive mind twisting the perspectives of life experiences. No — I say that “we”, as the human race, can “talk the talk” but we’ve yet to “walk the walk” … and until we do … well, that *greatness* of mankind is all just hype to me.

Now I ask, what is YOUR answer? What group do you fall into? Be honest with yourself; are you naturally good with a hint of bad, or naturally bad with moments of good?

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YES MEN … you’re my heroes!

Daniel — Sat, 14 Aug 2010 22:35:57 +0000

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And when I say *yes men* I’m not talking about guys who just crumple when their spouse gives them orders and quietly reply, “Yes, dear.” or the butt-kissers at work who constantly get ahead by always saying, “Yes, boss!” and following company policies and procedures which they know are unfair.

I’m referring to The Yes Men who have the guts to punk giant corporations and government agencies around the world in order to stir up shit and get people’s attention on real issues and problems that are being ignored my mainstream media! — these guys ROCK!

These two guys recently put out a movie about their adventures in challenging corrupt institutions and organizations around the world, which reminded me a lot of Michael Moore, the American filmmaker, author, and liberal political commentator who made the movies Bowling for Columbine, Fahrenheit 9/11, Sicko, and Capitalism: A Love Story — controversial documentaries exposing some serious issues facing the American People. The main difference is that The Yes Men aren’t making movies in hopes of challenging societal norms, they’re challenging societies norms (and risking getting in huge trouble!) and then made a movie about it!

And it’s a MUST SEE movie!

Their movie, The Yes Men Fix the World, is a documentary about the experiences the 2 Yes Men, Andy Bichlbaum and Mike Bonanno, went through when they set up fake websites pretending to be major, international corporations and then went on to impersonate these industry leaders and news events, speaking engagements, and conferences around the world! Their goal: to embarrass the business leaders and government organizations into admitting the damage they’re inflicting on the people of the world! … and, although it didn’t really work, it brought to light some incredible facts about what’s going on right under our noses!

I just recently watched Michael Moore’s new film, Capitalism: A Love Story, and even though it was really great exposing the sneaky and underhanded things the US government, big businesses and banks did to undermine the economy and create the current financial crisis … it fell short on getting anybody to respond (other than the security guards that would always stop Moore before he got anywhere near the big wigs hiding high up in their ivory towers).

The Yes Men, however, actually made it impossible for these people to not respond! These guys made stupendous announcements on behalf of these companies and agencies … and the news media put it out! (including CNN!) … and when the PR reps showed up to denounce their false promises those same media people had some hard questions for them to answer about real issues — The Yes Men made people stand up and take notice because they got it put right there on Joe Average’s evening news!

… anyway, I digress — you gotta see this movie! … and I recommend downloading the torrent version because it has stuff in it that the US courts have forbidden them from putting on the DVD. Here is their website (check it out!):

www.TheYesMen.org

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Wikipedia is not your deity!

Wikipedia is not your deity!

Daniel — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 16:26:20 +0000

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Not everything you see on the internet is true … I know, it’s hard to believe, but it’s a fact –

… (The funniest part of that statement is the fact that you’re reading it as it’s been posted on the internet — meaning that it’s something you should wonder whether or not it’s true! … it’s almost an NLP Sleight of Tongue — something NLPers learn in their Master Practitioner training — type of language pattern … almost, but not quite.) …

The truth is that sometimes people post/publish/upload stuff onto the internet that leads the general population to believe things which may be inaccurate. In a lot of cases it’s easy to tell when someone is playing a joke or exaggerating something, but in some cases it’s really hard to tell what’s a hoax and what’s not. There are entire episodes of the Mythbusters TV show dedicated to testing things seen on YouTube … and some of them do come out as fake … really.

My biggest issue is when people post negative shit that is only intended to hurt others — I’ve seen entire blogs dedicated to discrediting people, destroying their reputations, and, more or less, encouraging the public to have a negative (and often untrue) perception of those people! A good example is Liskula Cohen, a Canadian model that sued Google over a blog exactly like that — it’s sole purpose to attack, hurt, and bully the woman! (CLICK HERE for the news story on Liskula Cohen)

So basically, when you read stuff on the internet, the biggest question you should always be asking is: Does this information come from a trusted source? (ie. government websites and news websites) … and, even then, are there at least 2 other creditable sources (on or off the internet) that back up what you’ve read/seen? If you can’t answer yes to those questions then you need to take that information with a certain amount of skeptisism … including this blog right here and now!

I mean, even though I have several years of training, knowledge, and experience which I pull from to write these blog entries, the truth is that I’m human and I make mistakes, too! (I know, it’s difficult to believe that but I can find at least 2 other people in my life who will definitely back up that statement.) In some cases, even if I’m right I may still put my own twist on the details and facts presented — the way I understand them.

Now — let’s look at the other side of the story, shall we?

When I say you should be skeptical about everything you learn from the internet I do mean EVERYTHING! — this includes Wikipedia. To minimize confusion I will admit that I love Wikipedia because … well, just the whole concept is so cool! — it’s a place where everyone around the globe can pool their knowledge and learnings, and where anyone can create an account and start adding/editing Wiki articles.

The thing to remember here is that websites like Wikipedia try to reference (with links) to as many news and government websites as they can so you are able to actually look at where this information is coming from. That means, when something untrue is put on Wikipedia it’s most likely going to be a wee-tiny slip-up — and accidental error … which we should note is different from posting opinions or intentionally posting outright lies. Everyone has a right to their opinion but, as hate speech laws prove, publicly attacking others merely for the sake of being right a prick/bitch (one who HAS TO PROVE their right!) is unethical, illegal, and just plain wrong …

… but I digress — let’s get back to the average person who is not a prick or bitch and who is just trying to do what they think is right …

We must remember that even people who post/publish/upload crap onto the internet are still human beings (we hope), and as any well trained NLPer can tell you, everthing everyone ever does has a higher positive intention (you can check out the article When Internet Vigilantes Become Cyber-Bullies for more about that concept). This mean, even though these people are hurting others, they may not be thinking about that — they’re only thinking of their own point of view on the topic … and (not unlike the umpteen religious wars throughout all of mankind’s bloody history) these self-focused people are simply trying to do what they believe to be ‘right’; however, that doesn’t mean the information their putting out there has been verified by any creditable sources! It’s just their opinions and thoughts.

Just like all the bullcrud that I post on this blog, eh?

At least half the post here are simply my opinion on stuff … and the other half is still based on my understanding of the information as it was given to me (so it’s been filtered by my own personal beliefs and values) whether I got it from a book, a teacher, or it was something I saw on the internet … or something I read on Wikipedia … it all may just be my misconstrued version of reality.

P.S. For anyone who has their own opinion-ladened blog or website, or writes & publishes articles: please … pleeeeeaaaase … for the love of all that is good and true in the world, put in some disclaimers for all that stuff which may look or sound as though it is actually possible — Remember: staff in the service industry are constantly faced with people who see shit on TV, or read on the web, and try to demand products and services that are not real … and anyone who wants to see the end results of these types of business-customer interactions can go to ClientsFromHell.net or NotAlwaysRight.com and read the unbelievable outcomes!

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Prevent the proliferation of stupidity – use a condom, dumbass!

Daniel — Sat, 07 Aug 2010 15:57:51 +0000

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Alright, I’m gonna take a break from our regularly scheduled programming to share a conclusion that I came to many eons ago — the conclusion that we, as a society, need to stop protecting the stupid!

I mean, I feel most people will agree with me that the average man shouldn’t really be trying to play God in our world — specifically I’m speaking about deciding how the most insignificant individual events of a person’s life should and/or shouldn’t work out! That doesn’t necessarily include things like helping people see better by having corrective glasses or contact lenses available, no, I’m talking quite directly about the consequence of their decisions! …

… and I’m not referring to those people who it ends up working out for either — the guy that doesn’t wear a helmet and gets in a motorcycle accident but survives with minimal scrapes and bruises … no, he was lucky and good for him … but the guy that tries the same thing and his luck has run out — awwwww hell naw! That bastard is only reaping what he has sown and, the truth be told, he obviously doesn’t have a brain worth protecting anyway! And yet, it’s the relatives of these people who were the inspiration behind all the ‘bleeding hearts’ crying out for a helmet law (which most states and provinces now have!) …

… we need to have a law that people need to wear a helmet when riding a motorbike? … really?

And what is the ‘justified excuse’ for such an obvious restriction on Mother Nature’s God-Given Right to the freedom of Personal Choice (and subsequent consequence)? … It’s to help reduce health-care costs?? Bullshit! If you aren’t wearing your seat-belt when you get in a car accident then it should be recorded in the EMT report and you should be put in a lower priority when you get to the emergency room at the hospital! — Simple: Cause & Effect! … a naturally occurring part of our universe!

And every year there seems to be more and more laws being put in place to help ensure the safety of the morons and idiots within our community — people who perhaps would otherwise fall victim to mother nature’s culling of our herd. A great example of these kinds of justice system injustices is how pubs and bars are now held liable by courts of law for the responsibility over its patrons who drink too much and then fall and hurt themselves (or do something stupid and hurt someone else) — let me ask, ‘what the hell ever happened to personal responsibility?!’

But WAIT — it gets worse!

Now, in my opinion, where the bigger problem remains is in the fact that these dummies procreate! If you want to buy a gun you need pass a bunch of tests and get a gun license … If you want to drive a car there is tests you need to pass in order to get your driver’s license … If you want to have kids — oh, snap! — any idiot can go have kids!!

Allow me to take a moment and share something my father used to say:

It seems the amount of human intelligence in the world always remains constant … but our global population seems to keep growing!

For anyone who’s ever wondered why there are more and more global crisis in the present day and age … hmmmm … well … if you want to see the risk of even just one dumbass being coddled to full maturity just take a moment to review the political career of George W. Bush — aaaaaaaand that pretty much sums it up …

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The Religion of Anonymous

Well … aren’t I a bit … disturbing …

Daniel — Tue, 03 Aug 2010 15:00:18 +0000

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With the recent trend in the post topics on my little blog here it may seem to some people that I might be a wee bit … uhm … ‘disturbed’ … and to those people I say:

Why, yes … I am. … Thank you for noticing.

For those of you who may find my dark sense of humor less than unfunny I will admit that some of the images posted on my website may be a bit disturbing, but they aren’t necessarily meant to only be funny — they have a sort of *shock value* because some of the issues I talk about here are actually quite serious (I know that might seem a bit ludicrous to think, however it’s true). Archie Bunker was the first sitcom that truly tackled issues head on using humor as a way to make it more palatable in order for people to be able to at least acknowledge and start talking about stuff that otherwise was avoided by other mainstream media (including news shows).

Every day around the world there are things happening that, to anyone who sees them, will leave a mental and emotional scar for life. These kinds of experiences are witnessed on a regular basis by people working in jobs such as the SAR TECHs in the Canadian Military (Search and Rescue Technicians), or Fire Fighters, Ambulance Attendants, and Police Officers — the situations these people must deal with over and over again will often involve horrendous and gut-wrenching scenes of human pain and suffering … it almost becomes unfathomable how one maintains their own sanity. For people in these kinds of working environments ‘Dark Humor’ becomes a way of survival — a means to shrugging off and letting go of situations and experiences that would otherwise haunt them forever.

My little blog caters to depression … or, more specifically, how NLP can be utilized to understand and heal the thoughts and behaviors which are the foundation of depression. For that reason it lays somewhere smack in the middle between satirical-sitcom-humor and horrifying-real-life-coping-mechanisms. In that sense you could somewhat say that my little plot of sanity is somewhere beyond the edges of the average person’s mental map (that’s a little joke for you NLPers out there).

So, for anyone who hasn’t walked a time in my shoes and seen the world through filters like mine then this is just going to seem like another one of those websites on the internet run by some wacko who’s spouting off stupid comments in an inane attempt to get noticed using distasteful humor along with shocking and disturbing images … and to those people all I can say is:

Why, yes … I am. … Thank you for noticing.

For everyone else … in whatever way you, as one of my readers, may choose to perceive this lil’ blog I’ll simply tell all of you that the results here are nothing more than a glimpse into the deeper psyche of one person living & dealing with depression … and, believe it or not, there truly is a message buried within those post — NLPers know what I mean when I say there is a higher positive intention behind what otherwise might just be considered another weird and wacky website.

( … albeit one’s higher positive intention is defined by their unconscious mind so it could be I’m simply trying to mess everyone else up as much as me in a poorly thought out attempt to make certain I’m not alone in my suffering — after all, misery loves company … and … anyone thinking that they’re going insane will at some point ask themselves: Am I going crazy or is everyone else in the world going nuts and I’m the only one keeping my sanity? … Things that make you go, hmmmmm?

… Mwah-ha-ha-ha-ha-haaa!)

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Making my blog more user offensive!

Beware Dangerous Uses of Jedi Foresight!

Daniel — Sat, 24 Jul 2010 19:22:57 +0000

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I think some of my readers who aren’t experienced with depression have good questions that deserve answers … one of which is:

How the hell does a person with depression who knows that their mind twists things in a negative way actually believe that self-created bull-shit? I mean, if you KNOW that the negative perceptions are illogical then why do you still choose to believe them?

Well, the truth is, the human desire for control over life is one of the basic needs all humans share in order to maintain a sense of safety with regard to their survival. For this sense of safety and control over the things we need in life to survive an average person will seek predictability through daily routines — the proverbial “rut” that people fall into. It’s our rut in life which gives us that sense of security we all so desperately look for because, if we can predict the future, the belief is that we have some level of control over the outcome; however, for a depressed person this is extremely dangerous …

You see, that need for creating patterns in life that can be predicted turns into habits of self-sabotage for many people. In a depressed person this self-sabotage is an outstanding source of comfort as it gives the person a Jedi like skill of clairvoyance at seeing their future — to ALWAYS know how things are going to turn out (through ensuring things always end in failure) it means they’ll always know what to expect and thus can be feel prepared in how to deal with it. The problem resides in the fact that any future they think of will ALWAYS end in ‘failure’ (even if they need to do things in order to make it fail).

So, the trade off to not being afraid of the future is living with the knowledge that the entire rest of one’s life will forever be an ongoing, constant, epic failure! … over, and over, and over, and over, and over, and over again … kinda depressing ain’t it?

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Metaphorically, Depression is a …

Daniel — Thu, 22 Jul 2010 06:33:42 +0000

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So, there has been a lot happening in my own life recently, as well as in the lives of those people closest to me, and all the stress, chaos, & misfortune have taken a huge toll on my faith in any unending joy of life, in the belief of that our universe has unlimited abundance, and in the ‘love’ inherent within all of mankind — all of these things I have begun to believe in less and less every day. This ongoing constant barrage of problems, issues, attacks, and setbacks have done a lot to feed that part deep in the back of my mind where my depression lays sleeping and dormant … allowing it to grow stronger and stronger … stirring it to wake.

With all these external issues and incidents, combined with the strengthening of my own negative thought habits, it’s no surprise that discussions in my home have often turned to the ‘pointlessness of life.’ In several of the more recent conversations my girlfriend, Jodie, and I have talked extensively about the Depressing Mind and how it works … and I’ve learned a lot through trying to explain it to someone who can’t relate (and when I say can’t relate I mean totally-opposite-end-of-the-spectrum unable to understand — Jodie is the pollyanna to my jaded darkness).

After all of our talks one very simple explanation of what a Depressing Mindset looks like finally came to light in the form of a metaphor:

If you think of a person as having an internal balancing scale that weighs the good experiences of life against the bad ones, then you can think of human perception as being a type of sorting machine. As events enter a person’s awareness they are sorted to one side or the other — sorted into things that bring the person good feelings (ex. happy, joy, love, humor, excitement, compassion, etc.) and the things that create bad feelings (ex. anger, frustration, hate, fear, sadness, guilt, etc.).

Now, for a normal person that sorting machine is usually somewhat balanced. Occasionally it might be a bit sensitive — the spring would too tight or too loose — in certain contexts or with certain people, but for the most part of life it’s normally quite balanced. Overall, the majority of experiences in the person’s life will fall onto the positive side of the scale, making them feel their life is fairly good.

In a person who is afflicted with depression the whole process is exactly the same, except for one small difference … the sorting machine is broken. Whether it’s because of a chemical imbalance in the brain or simply unhealthy thinking patterns, the little metal sorting arm is twisted and bent out of shape. The result is that even when events ‘should’ be sorted as being positive/pleasurable experiences, some of them accidentally fall onto the negative side of the scale.

A good example of this kind of mistaken sorting in the mind of a depressed person would be the idea of Family and Loved Ones — where the average person might experience these people as being a positive part of their life that bring them joy because of the good feelings they bring (having a positive effect on their life), a person with the depressing mind will only see how they are unable to support and take care of their family and loved ones (having a negative effect on their personal identity and their ability to create a good life). In this way the depression is able to twist almost any life experience (no matter how great it might be) to be proof that life sucks and truly isn’t worth living!

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