Of course I learned to tie my shoes the same way, and when he explained it to me I knew I was in the same boat.  Aside from pure curiosity, I had a vested interest in testing this whole shoe-tying thing out.

I have a pair of LL Bean slippers that are among my favorite things, especially on cold winter days like today.  My aggravation has been that, as comfortable as they are they have leather laces that constantly come untied.  As a result I’m regularly tripping on them and I’ve developed a love-hate relationship with these shoes.  I’ve even been looking at a different kind of slipper to replace them with.

So home I went to try this “new way to tie my shoes.”

How’d it go?

With the correct way, i.e. a stronger knot, my leather laces stayed tied for about a week and I haven’t tripped over them once.  It turns out it wasn’t the slippers’ fault.

Success!  Thanks for the tip Bruce.

Here are three BIG points to take from learning how to tie your shoes:

1.  Never take for certain how you’ve been taught something.

You might not have been shown the best way to do things, and you might not have learned correctly and completely.  Kenpo Grandmaster Ed Parker said that tradition should be bound by knowledge, that tradition should change as we learn more about our world.  There are many ways to perform the same task, some are equally correct while some are objectively superior.  If you’ve learned something incorrectly or inefficiently don’t hold on to it because of habit.

2.   Always be prepared to change and adapt your beliefs and behavior based on new evidence.

This is not waffling, flip-flopping or being wish-washy as politicians are apt to accuse each other of, it’s being an intelligent person.  I’m not talking about changing because of an opinion, but because of new, proven information.  Prior beliefs may no longer serve you and need to go for you to progress.

I’ll never consciously tie my shoes the old way again, based on this new information.  As Oliver Wendell Holmes said, “a mind stretched by a new idea never goes back to its original dimension.”

3.  Little Tweaks Make Big Differences.

Sure these two knots are similar and when it comes to tying your shoes it might not matter to you much, but what if that knot was responsible for saving your life?  A little difference like looping the knot in the other direction has major consequences.

Whether it is god or the devil in the details, details matter.  Martial arts students know that the small details are the difference between a technique working and failing utterly, which is why the expert eye of a master instructor is necessary.

I’ve posted a link to the video so you can see for yourself and try it out:

Terry Moore: How to tie your shoes

First, an image immediately popped to my mind: a rough and tough kid bullying the skinny smart kid in class. That image took me back to my own days in school when I began self-defense training because I wasn’t the biggest, toughest kid in class (but I was an honor student). This bumper sticker and its attendant philosophy seemed a distortion of everything I’ve learned martial arts.  Instead of humility and only using martial arts in self-defense, now someone is using his martial arts training to lord it over the smart kids, the successful kids. It seemed very low-class to me, as if this child has nothing else going for him other than the fact that he can beat up other kids.

That mentality is really sad especially to me, a martial arts instructor.

The US has gone from a place where we were proud to show off our children’s accomplishments in school by letting people know that he or she is an Honors Student — it’s an honor — to a place where others might feel bad because someone else is doing better in school than they are so everyone is honored.  Now, parents can just teach their children to beat up other kids who out-perform them in school.  For a time, it seemed that the US was moving away from being a barbaric society but signs such as these make me wonder.

This whole “my kid can choke out your honor student” mentality reminds me of a proposed sequel of sorts to the movie Revenge of the Nerds.  In the original the nerds were tired of being picked on by the jocks and got their revenge in increasingly humorous ways.  The sequel idea was that the nerds are all grown up and control everything because of the rise of technology & the internet and their mastery of both. The former jocks are left out in the cold so these washed up athletes plot their revenge.

Let’s leave aside clique warfare for a second and turn our eyes to the martial arts technique in question: choking or strangling another person until he passes out. Learning to close off the airways and/or blood flow to the brain of another child is serious business. There are 2 factors to consider here: one is the child learning the technique at all/whether or not a child can display correct judgment in its application and, two, is the judgment of the adult teaching this technique to a child.

Consider teaching children how to wrestle. Of course they do so naturally and boys often enjoy wrestling with each other. The goal in wrestling is to pin your opponent’s shoulders to the mat. Of course there are takedowns and throws but there are no chokes or manipulations of an opponent’s neck. After all wrestling is a sport and no one wants to be injured while playing. Sport is on the other end of the spectrum from self-defense.  Martial arts are exactly that, for war and combat, hence the “martial.” The martial arts contains thousands of techniques and ways to injure an attacker including choking, not all of which should be taught to children.

There are many things the children cannot do because they lack maturity and responsibility. We do not allow our children to drink alcohol, they must be a certain age to be able to drive a car, they cannot enter into binding contracts, they cannot be prosecuted as adults for crimes, etc. Society and our legal system make distinctions between the privileges of adults versus the restrictions placed on minors.

The question is, it ethical and necessary to teach children how to literally choke the life out of each other? What purpose does it serve? Is there some pressing need for children to have the knowledge take the life of a child? Or is this something that should be, like handguns, reserved for use only by adults? Are there other alternative martial art techniques that children could learn to keep themselves equally safe? Would they be equally served by learning every technique just shy of the killing techniques?

When I was a child learning martial arts myself I learned a technique that contain a full-power strike to the opponent’s throat. My teacher told me to be very careful because the strike had the ability to kill the person if enough damage was done to his larynx. Now, when I teach this technique to children I change the target to make it non-lethal; that is my responsibility as their teacher.

I remember thinking to myself that I now had the power to take someone’s life with one strike. Far from being exhilarating, it was scary. Perhaps I had the insight to realize the power I was given and the responsibility not to use it unless absolutely necessary, however, that realization stuck with me for a long time, holding the power of life and death in my hands, literally. Even so, I was a teenager at the time and older than most children who are learning how to choke others out, honor student or not.

Years ago, I heard a story from Small Circle Ju-Jitsu Grandmaster Wally Jay about a martial arts instructor who was teaching a class how to choke each other out. To make sure they were performing the technique correctly he had them all choke him out. Due to being choked over and over by the students in a short time-span he eventually blacked out.  A tragic thing occurred next. No one knew how to help him because he failed to teach any students how to revive someone who had been choked out. The result? He died.

Professor Jay said that if you learn how to hurt someone you must also know how to heal him or her. I cannot begin to count the number of adults I’ve come across who have learned how to choke someone out and do not know how to revive him or her. They all sing the same refrain, “it just never occurred to me (that I needed to know that).”

Jiu-Jitsu, like most martial arts, contains enough techniques to keep children busy and learning self-defense until they grow up to the point when they are emotionally and mentally ready to learn choking or lethal techniques.

When I teach my students ground-fighting I teach them the underlying structure and framework of fighting on the ground.  Later they can build their choking techniques upon that framework and add it to their existing skills when they are older and more mature.

There is absolutely no need for a child to learn how to choke another child into unconsciousness. I’ve heard the arguments for teaching kids chokes and not one has convinced me otherwise.  And bringing out exceptions to the rule (the son of a martial arts teacher usually), children learning chokes and just never being put into a position to hurt someone, or children just being lucky enough not to inflict permanent injury on someone are not valid arguments that we should teach kids how to choke others to unconsciousness or death.

A martial arts instructor who teaches minors how to potentially kill another person retains personal responsibility and culpability for that child’s actions. Teaching martial arts is like giving a child a loaded gun, only this deadly knowledge cannot be taken away as easily as a gun can be.  A child who learns how to shoot can be disarmed by denying him access to guns, but a child cannot “unlearn” how to choke another child out if he abuses his skill.

We have laws to prosecute bartenders who over-serve overtly drunk people who then drink-and-drive and injure other people.  The same is true of adults teaching children how to choke each other out.  If your student chokes another child to death, the authorities will be knocking on your door.

Your judgment of an adult who would teach a child how to choke another child to death must be suspect.  If you heard an adult say to you, “I’m going to teach your child how to potentially kill another child and, by the way, here’s a bumper sticker to slap on your car to brag about his ability,” how would you react?  I doubt the word “trust” would ever come to mind.

I guess it’s time to teach all my honor students how to escape being choked out by some Jiu-Jitsu bully…

“(My friend) said ‘what are doing to actually get him to do that, to build up his confidence’?

And I said, ‘well, this karate school we are going to. Nothing else has worked so.”

And she said, ‘Wow, that is amazing! Do NOT stop going there. We’ll help you pay for it to keep him going. Keep him going coz he’s doing an amazing job.’ “

–Kim Van Dyke

Longmont mom of 3 “karate kids”

I’d like to say a word or 2 about testing, or at least the way we test at SMAA. Many adults have developed a negative attitude toward testing, partly due to the judgments associated tests in school. Simply put, the message many people have gotten is that if they do not get an A+ on a test then they are no good as people. Getting in A+ on a test, on the other hand, proves your worth as a person. As ludicrous as this sounds I’m sure we’ve all been through this. However it is so antithetical to success that we need to see this type of view what is–misguided the least, and outright destructive at the worst.

I have said this before and it bears repeating. I have seen schools change the name from the “belt test” to “promotion demonstration” to avoid the idea of testing altogether. The idea is that a student demonstrates that he is ready to be promoted. OK, he’s taking a test. My point is that changing the name doesn’t change the purpose of testing or that your skill is being tested.

In my eyes the phrase “test it” changes my whole mindset about learning and succeeding. I don’t test myself, I test what I’m practicing to see what I need to work on. This way I take personal judgment and self worth out of the equation. Now I can focus on my actions and their results, not whether I am a good person or a bad person because of my performance.

In a way the entire process surrounding testing encapsulates the martial art lesson of life long mastery. The secret is right there out in the open contained in our teaching cycle, belt testing and the strategies we teach students how to fix their mistakes, turning them into long term success. Don’t shy away from it.

Of course testing is always stressful because it is difficult to face yourself. But again, that’s the point. I refuse to lower standards and/or pass students just so they will feel good about themselves. Most of the stress around testing goes back to judgment–judgment or perceived judgment from others as well as your own self judgment–and not the material.

I have always taught and can continue to teach students to focus on their efforts and outcomes. Students develop more personal power when they can look at their efforts, see what is working and what is not working, and fix it. They are always strengthening their weakest link. The best students are the ones, who even when they pass a test look at what they can improve and set to work on becoming even better.

So embrace the testing procedure and apply this mindset to everything you do and long-term success is guaranteed.

3 Big Reasons Why SMAA is Full of Intelligent Children

#1:  High-Achieving Families Realize That We Teach The Very Skills They Need To Excel in Academic School But That They Aren’t Learning Elsewhere

Our families know that IQ is nothing without Focus, Discipline, Perseverance, Resilience and the many other LifeSkills we excel at instilling in our children.  Everyone knows these skills are critical success factors but few people really know how to cultivate these abilities like we do.  Worse, people tend to teach children the exact opposite lessons, virtually guaranteeing that children do not learn proper LifeSkills.

Our children receive a Systematic Education on how to develop these critical Life Skills.  Our staff, and the SMAA parents, all agree that leading by example is the best way to teach our children.

Shared Values and Parenting Philosophy

In addition, our families share common values and Parenting Philosophy.  High-Achieving Families know that the Core Martial Arts Values, including Respect, Commitment and Social Intelligence, directly influence how successful their children will be in school and in life.

Our families always act in the best Long-Term Interests of Their Child versus feeling good in the short-term. This philosophy allows them to overcome almost any obstacle in the way of high-achievement and happiness.

#2:  High-Achieving Families Tend to Know Each Other

This is the simple answer.  Once the first few families with gifted, high-achieving children began their study with us, they naturally spread the word to their friends.  Over time we have built a reputation as “THE place to go to for academically-minded families.”

The most intelligent parents realize that the real benefits of a quality martial arts school do not just come from putting a child in a uniform and a belt and then jumping into a huge class of screaming kids.

#3:  High-Achieving Families Are Drawn To SMAA Because of

the Unique Knowledge And Experience of Our Heads of School

Of course when new families first meet Master Brad and Dr. Karla Scornavacco they immediately know that SMAA is “far beyond the ordinary martial arts school.”  Their educational backgrounds, including Harvard, Northwestern and CU create an environment of higher learning and academic achievement unmatched in Colorado.

Our “Education-Centered” Martial Arts Academy naturally attracts intelligent and well-educated families, both inside and outside academia.

So there you have it.  SMAA successfully marries the best Martial Arts Character Development Strategies with a solid background in the Best Educational Practices.  Our families take the long-view with their children’s mental and emotional education, sharing the oft-forgotten traditional values that create intelligent citizens with strong character.  Finally, these families invite other, like-minded families to join them.

I’ve been writing in the Master Club Newsletter lately about time and how to take control of it, including scheduling.  While scheduling is necessary, so is being ready and able to adapt to change as it comes.  My friend Doug, seeing a chance he couldn’t pass up, radically changed his life.  For Dr. Karla and me taking advantage of a unique opportunity just meant some creative thinking to find a babysitter so we could go see Sheryl Crow perform at the Boulder Theater.

For Doug his chance is potentially life-changing while ours was a frivolous night out.  The commonality between these two strange events is that neither chance took us away from our goals, instead enchanting our lifestyles.  Doug’s business will most certainly thrive now and our impromptu Date Night did nothing to take away from our family time or our work time.

The Point?

All plans are subject to change.  Call it flexible rigidity or rigid flexibility.  Make plans and only change them when the change either advances your life-goals or does nothing to detract from them.  Finally, be open to the change and chance events that life throws your way.

Something just got me thinking once again about our recent Junior Black Belts, Tristan Smith and Bryce Roberts, who joined the growing number of Black Belts at SMAA.  Each time I look out on the training floor and see Black Belts training hard and being great role models, it takes a nothing day and makes it all worthwhile.

Ah, I remember now.  I got up and went for a swim this morning, an activity I’ve grown to really enjoy.  But, you know, I was dragging this morning having not gotten a good night’s sleep.  I was too tired to exercise, or at least that is what part of my mind was whining about. I didn’t want to go, and this was something I really like to do.  (read that line again, or a few times)  Luckily for me, I also have an adult inside my head, one who created a simple system to help me when I get this way.  I call it “Connect the D.O.T.S.”

D.O.T.S. stands for the DO ONE THING SYSTEM.  I had to ultimately get in the water and swim but that goal brought all the things I’d have to do to get there.  It seemed overwhelming.

So tracing back all the things I needed to do to get my rear in the pool was one simple thing–get in the car.  Once I did one thing, all I had to do was change.  Then, all I had to think about was stepping off the side of the pool.  Then, all I thought about was leaving the side of the pool, etc.

Always focused on the next DOT, doing one thing, while I knew my ultimate goal.  Before I knew it I swam my laps and here I am working away, awake and feeling ready to rock.

This little episode, which I repeat almost daily, reminded me of the Junior Black Belts because adults often forget that we go through the same challenges and must overcome the same obstacles our kids must.  This is life, and it is not bound by age.  Kids not only learn persistence and overcoming frustration–they must.

Early on in life I adopted a philosophy that the sooner I figured out “the rules of the game of life” and aligned with them the more time I would have to enjoy life, come what may.

The Junior Black Belts have a huge head-start.

Jessica Reichert:   My name is Jessica Reichert, and my husband Dennis and I have two children, Logan who is almost eight and Abby who’s almost four. Both of whom are students here now.

Q: And how did you hear about the school?

Jessica:  Logan at about three‑and‑a‑half started in on us. He seriously wanted to go to karate. We called around, checked a bunch of schools out. Nobody would take him until he turned four. So during that six months or so we toured a bunch of the schools in the area. And this is the one that was the fit.

Q: What turned you off at the other schools?

Jessica:  We went into one place that was very drill sergeant‑y. Lots of screaming, lots of this guy barking at these little kids. And that wasn’t what Logan needed, nor what we wanted for him. We went into another school where we watched several hours worth of calisthenics, which also wasn’t what we wanted. We came in here, Logan was met by one of the instructors and it was an instant connection.

Q: So what would you say the big reason that you guys as his parents wanted him to train?

Jessica:  Logan’s an incredibly bright kid. He’s also a very passive kid. He was in preschool and we got told that he was a doormat. Because if a child wanted a toy, they took it and Logan found something else. He was in a daycare setting and I was so proud of him. All the little kids were sitting in a circle, and when I looked closer I realized that all the little kids that were sitting in the circle were facing in, and Logan was facing out. So he was kind of socially inept.

Q: So given that that’s kind of how he was, how do you think he fit in with the classes here, the kind of the structure of the class and what his experience was like in the group?

Jessica:  I really expected him to run off the mat the first day, and he absolutely did not. The instructors made him feel very welcome. They really took him in and showed him how he needed to do things and what he needed to do. And he just thrived.

Q: So, why don’t we take a little bit about him being bullied and that kind of situation. Kind of what was going on around him being bullied, what did it look like, when did you notice it?

Jessica:  There was one little boy in particular that he was in preschool with, and at the time Logan was probably three, three‑and‑a‑half. And the little boy would push him and take his toys every day. And Logan would never stand up to the kid. He would walk away. He’d come home, “I don’t want to go to school anymore. Please don’t make me go, please don’t make me go.” And we met with the teachers and tried to work it out that way. Logan just has no desire to fight. He would give up anything he had to avoid any kind of confrontation.

Q: So how would you characterize the school’s response?

Jessica:  That school really just kind of informed us and then moved on. It wasn’t their place…

Q: So they didn’t have anything in place?

Jessica:  …to encourage Logan to stand up for himself.

Q: How did he feel about it when you talked to him about it, when you talked to him about the whole bullying situation?

Jessica:  He wouldn’t talk to us about it.

Q: He wouldn’t talk to you?

Jessica:  No, he wouldn’t tell us anything that was going on. We would ask him, “So what happened with this little kid today?” “Nothing.”

Q: Why do you think that he wouldn’t tell you?

Jessica:  I don’t think he knew how to handle it. He didn’t want it to be an issue and he didn’t want…I don’t know if he was aware that he didn’t want us to fight his fights. But I think that it was just non‑confrontational. Not telling us, it didn’t exist.

Q: Was he embarrassed or afraid to talk to you guys about it?

Jessica:  I wouldn’t say afraid. I hope he’s not embarrassed, but really I think that it would have just brought it to light more, and he didn’t want to deal with it.

Q: So, now we’re years later, obviously. He’s been training for a while. What kind of changes have you seen in the way he deals with this bullying, or just in general?

Jessica:  I’ve got to tell you my favorite story of all time. Logan starts Kindergarten. Day two our babysitter takes him to Kindergarten. The little boy that bullied him in preschool landed in his Kindergarten class. So Logan at that point had been training for over a year, and the little boy goes to push Logan. And Logan stepped back, looked the kid square in the eye, blocked the push and put his hand down, and the kid turned around and walked away from him. So right there, that was huge success.

Q: And how do you feel about the fact that he actually had to use…he was confident enough to defend himself, but the fact that he actually would physically defend himself? As a parent, how do you look at those abilities and the fact that he had to use that?

Jessica:  We were totally proud of him. He came home that day and we got the call from the babysitter that said, hey, this is what went down. And we told Logan when he got home that, way to go. Stand up for you. We’re still to this day, we back him up. If he has to defend himself we expect that he can and will.

Q: That’s pretty amazing.

Jessica:  That’s my favorite story.

Q: So how would you look at how Logan’s changed since he started training here?

Jessica:  Logan carries himself, and he’s not the weak, mild little boy that he was. And I’m sure part of it is that he’s four years older now than he was. But a lot of it too is that he knows that if push comes to shove he can hold his own. We tested his abilities, because we’re like, OK, you know we’re forking out some money for karate. Are we seeing results? I had a guy that Logan doesn’t know come up behind him and grab him, unbeknownst to Logan. And Logan dropped the man to the earth. You know, and I don’t really want Logan to ever have to be in that position, but I do know that Logan can drop a 6’4″ man to the earth.

Q: Yes, that’s got to be a good feeling.

Jessica:  And my friend won’t do that again. He didn’t like the outcome.

Q: So what do you value most about this school, being in this school?

Jessica:  OK, I’m going to sound like I’m going for suck‑up points. Everything. We’ve always said the whole “it takes a village to raise a child.” This is our village. From all the other parents to all the instructors, this is the village we’ve chosen to have raise our children.

Q: So what would you say to somebody who was thinking about looking for a martial arts school for their kid?

Jessica: The same thing I always say. There’s a cheaper martial arts school in town but you’re going to get what you pay for. And nothing is ever going to come close to this.

VISION

Just click the play button to listen:

Dedicated to Your Success,

Brad Scornavacco

Head of School