Scot Nery : Pancake Juggler

Maine will tax jugglers!

2010-04-18T01:15:43Z

Q:Who is poor and eats lobster every day?
A:The state of Maine

In its struggle for funds, the US state of Maine wants to start charging tax on services including a juggler tax. Cold. It just sounds like a total headache to obey and enforce.

Jugglers, clowns and hitmen already pay income tax just like everyone else. Now, add to that a service tax — which I’m guessing is around 7%. According to the New York Times article about new state taxes, the politicians of Maine will vote in June.

You’ll get an invoice from your kid’s birthday party juggler for:

his (or her [there are girl jugglers in Maine due to last year's laws]) rate
7% tax
plus, there will probably be a space for tips*

Here’s a money juggling trick…

Here’s an excerpt from the whole law thing:

1-J. Amusement, entertainment and recreation services. “Amusement, entertainment and recreation services” is defined pursuant to this subsection.

A. “Amusement, entertainment and recreation services” means the following:

(1) Admission fees to entertainment venues and performances, including theaters, movies, lectures, concerts, festivals, amusement parks, water parks, fairgrounds, except for licensed agricultural fairs, race tracks, carnivals, circuses, sports activities, stadiums, amphitheaters, museums, planetariums, animal parks, petting zoos, aquariums, historical sites and convention centers;
(2) Fees charged for participation in or entry to miniature golf courses, billiard parlors, go-cart courses and paintball;
(3) Admission fees charged for exhibition shows such as auto, boat, camping, home, garden, animal and antique shows;
(4) Fees charged for scenic and sight-seeing excursions including aircraft, helicopter, balloon, blimp, watercraft, railroad, bus, trolley and wagon rides, whitewater rafting and guided recreation, but excluding scenic and sight-seeing excursions on federally navigable waters; and
(5) Entertainment services such as those provided by bands, orchestras, disc jockeys, comedians, clowns, jugglers, children’s entertainers and ventriloquists.

Petting zoos! This is the last straw, Maine!

I taped a pen inside of a $20 bill to get the photo above. Even with the added weight, it took me 40 tries to get a decent pic.

* a 45% tip is customary

Top 9 animals of 2009

2010-04-18T01:16:14Z

Looking Back…
While everyone’s excited about the new year and the coming top animals (I have some of my own speculations), I thought we should take a moment to slow down and appreciate what animals were great in 2009. If you have an animal that you wish would have been in the list, please leave a comment.

Top Animal #9: parakeet

In retrospect, it’s easy to see that 2007 and 2008 were just lead-ups to a great year for parakeets, but let’s face it, nobody saw this coming. Parakeets had a stupendous year of chewing on wood and scurrying around tiny cages. This was the year that parakeets really became the “Above Ground Canaries.” Unfortunately, they made a lot of noise this year and that’s why they’re positioned at #9.

Top Animal #8: lion

We love the lion. Always the same. The lion is the king of the jungle, and like most kings, they’re inbred. Lions did a great job this year of getting the birth defects we all wish we had the guts to get.

Top Animal #7: kangaroo

What is there to say about the kangaroo that you don’t already know. Definitely, in 2009 kangaroos are the animal everyone knows, but has never seen in person. Pouch, jumping, boxing, barbecuing, tail. Forget about it. Super animal this year.

Top Animal #6: chimpanzee

Though a famous chimp and child lover died this year, chimpanzees made it work. As usual, they snuck in as monkeys, then as if to say, “Look, no tail!” they had no tails.

Top Animal #5: deer

What animal can total your car and kill you, but can also be hunted using a flashlight and a hammer? Deer ’09.

Top Animal #4: dolphin

Where to start? Dolphins in 2009? Wow! Right from the start of the year, it seemed like dolphins really knew what they were doing. They had the slippery skin and that compelling cuteness as always, but they had something new, something better. Scientists can’t figure it out — hence, not much dolphin news this year. That “it” factor is what made the dolphin’s 2009 a breakthrough. I had to put them on the list this year because they did great and plus, they might all be dead next year.

Top Animal #3: Snow leopard

I want to be clear. Snow leopards sucked this year. They did nothing good. They even killed a bunny. Luckily for them, Mac named a new OS after them. I would have put them at #4, but people would complain in the comments.

Top Animal #2: Rat

Rats really rate this year. The surprising recognizability of the rat has infested our minds and made a trashnest in our hearts. Rats could wallow in #2 for decades just based on the number of things that are called “rats with wings” ( bats, pigeons, seagulls, angels, US Air, Hooters, crows, etc.)

Top Animal #1: Human

I know the flack I’m going to get for this one, but humans are not in the number one position because of my own humanity or that of most of my family members. Humans are just the best. They moved all over the globe this year. It seems like they were involved in every news article somehow this year, and they even made it on MTV.

Wrap up…

So there you have it, we were all really surprised with how this year turned out for animals.

Thoughts and predictions – 2010

It just so happens that next year is 2010. After one year of making these lists, the one thing I’ve learned about animal popularity, is it is something you can’t learn. I don’t want to risk humiliation next year by putting up some pompous predictions only to be proven wrong in 366 days. I’ll only make one guess. Geese. I think the phrase for the coming year will be “What does that goose think he’s doing?”

Geese don’t have PR, they don’t have lobbyists, they just have themselves and they do messed up things to confuse us all.

8 Reasons Normal People Should Juggle

2009-12-04T22:00:14Z

Juggling is a really good exercise for life. It has a lot of the fun parts of a soul sport (working to better yourself, non-competitive activity, etc.) but isn’t dangerous — unless you’re juggling fire or pancakes or something. That’s why I want everyone to learn. I’m offering juggling classes in Hollywood (free for your first class) and an inexpensive (and most helpful) DVD because I want the world to juggle.

I’m sure juggling’s not a cure-all like alcohol, but it does a great job with the following 8 thingies:

brain growth
body comfort
stress relief
focus retention
coordination boosting
being interesting
improved learning
unboring meditation

#1 Save your Brain

It used to be thought that your noggin starts falling apart when you become an adult. The thinking went that you’d continue downhill until death or alien cocoons were found. Possibly sent from space, juggling can help prevent this deterioration and can even help you grow stuff in your old age.

There are studies that say you can…

Grow White Matter & Grow Gray Matter … Weird, huh?

#2 Got The Hunchies?

The average person spends 312 hours per day at a computer. Your back and neck get outta whack, your wrists start hurting and your legs fall asleep. You can combat this crappy feeling by doing light exercise – juggling is perfect. To hone the art of juggling, you need to think about standing up straight, relaxing, and using your hands correctly.

#3 I can’t de-stress you with my eyes

It’s nice to learn something new, do something active and get away from what seems important in your life. You can lose your tension through tons of hobbies, but juggling is a great combination of physical activity, brain stimulation, joy of success, and visual stimulation. Here’s another scientific study…

Effect of juggling therapy on anxiety disorders in female patients

#4 Focus

Sometimes it feels like A.D.D. makes you better at stuff, but when it comes down to it, we really need to be able to sit still and focus until something’s done. Juggling builds your focus muscles through regular practice and a built-in rewards system.

One of the top performing jugglers in the world, Reid Belstock, had his life transformed by juggling. Focus was a major benefit for him:

“Juggling is a fantastic way to develop one’s focus. I spent 4 years in a special school based on children with learning disabilities, and motor-skill impairment. I was on meds for years to keep me from being less scattered in school. I found that once I was able to juggle, I was constantly spending time working on something. Once my goal was reached, I would try the next logical step up. When you are trying to reach a juggling goal, you either can do it or not. Once you learn the new technique, it is a tangible result, and this helped me focus for longer periods of time, and allowed me to focus on one single task until it was finished.”

#5 Coordination

Juggling helps your eye/hand coordination… DUH! You don’t just get juggly, you have better coordination for life. Think of all the situations where balls are flying at your face ( sports, Christmas tree accidents, etc. ). It would be handy to have handier hands.

One baseball player I taught to juggle said that his batting improved in just 3 lessons and suggested me to several other players. Juggling has also helped people with typing and learning to play instruments as well as just being less clumsy.

#6 Being Entertaining

It’s not cool to always be telling everyone you can juggle. I know from experience. It is cool to pop out an unexpected novelty once in a while. Juggling can prevent a nephew from crying, surprise a date or prove that you’re not just a fascist dictator.

The main reason I like juggling is because it not only can make people excited about me, but it can make them excited about themselves and their own potentials.

#7 Learn how to Learn

You probably know someone who brags being a master of 6 dance styles, or has belts in 4 martial arts. It’s not as big a deal as it might seem. For example, once you learn how to learn one language, it’s easy to learn more languages. Your brain gets good at figuring out what’s important to remember and how to adapt.

Juggling involves problem solving, posture, hand and arm movement as well as balance, so if you learn juggling, you can learn anything. That’s my guarantee.

Add that “learning to learn” idea to the fact that aerobic activity can increase your learning ability (another study), and you’re on your way to being a super learner.

#8 Meditation

We’ve all heard that meditation can help you be better at hugging and make your hair grow longer. Well kids, there’s a new kinda meditation in town — Active Meditation. eHow.com tells us how to do active meditation and it’s basically:

do something active
focus on the present
be aware of your surroundings
be aware of yourself
stop before your boss walks in

This stuff is built in to learning to juggle. People I teach often turn into little kids excited about a new skill and reconnected with their bodies. I am not a hippy, but I think that you should accept that you have arms and legs and that they can do more than keeping you from rolling down hills.

How To Learn

So, start learning! You could get a book or search YouTube for juggling lessons. It is possible to learn that way, but if you’d like to learn quickly and with the right form… or you want to give juggling as a gift, check out my juggling DVD “Catch U” and Hollywood Juggling Classes.

I make my money from performing internationally at corporate parties and special events. I am going out of my way to teach juggling because I want to be nice a little bit.

Happy Thanksgiving

2009-11-26T22:13:50Z

here’s a turkey i drew on an index card by tracing my hand. It’s simple, really.

Pancakes & Insanity at the California State Fair

2009-12-27T15:11:25Z

The California State Fair is a lot like a Clint Eastwood movie. People are squinting, there’s dehydration, and hangings are eminent.

I was performing there 3 or 4 shows per day every day in my friend Frank Olivier’s Show as well as 1 time per day in the demo kitchen area (where chefs are showing the public the obsolete activity of cooking). 62 Frank Shows + 18 kitchen shows = 80 shows in 18 days.

The Good
The shows in the demo kitchen were great. I was introduced by Michael Marks ( a national television produce expert) or his wife each day. The set looked like a quaint suburban kitchen so I was hilariously out of place. Every kitchen show started with a group of senior citizens who needed a place to rest before dying. The first 2 minutes of my set were pure confusion. They had no idea what was going on. By the end, they were going ape and so was the crowd we attracted. I don’t usually perform for old people, and it’s a little intimidating each time I start, but it’s always great fun by the end.

Working with Frank (also a professional juggler) was really fun. We came up with a lot of new ideas and shifted the show every day from a straight theater production to a more interactive and simple-if-you-just-walked-up fun fair show. It’s really educational working with such a seasoned entertainer. He has a great sense for what an audience needs and we could quickly communicate thoughts. There was a little friction because we’re both used to working solo, but overall, we bonded in the battle to make the show great.

The Bad
It was really hot. We figured this would be our major foe and it was a difficult one.

The most bad of the whole deal is the fact that it’s a fair. State and County Fairs are places where performers compete with pig births for attention. People sit in your seats because they just got some deep fried food and they need a place to grow their butts… or for several other reasons that have nothing to do with enjoying a juggling show.

Fairgoers have gulped too many beers, brauts and dip’n'dots to really be happy with any show. They’re hot and tired and they want their TVs. It’s like busking at a bus stop.

The Ugly
The slogan of the California State Fair is “Let Yourself Go” and people were obedient! It’s held in Sacramento — a city better suited to host the Michigan State Fair. I know it’s the capitol, but Sacramento just doesn’t seem very California-y to me.

I thought there would be millions of stunning girls begging me for a glimpse at the life of a juggler, but nope. I don’t really blame Sacramento. These fairs are an opportunity to go out in whatever clothes are most comfortable — Not a place to get sexy.

Overall

Fairs are not the perfect venue for me, but it’s really fun to get exhausted doing show after show. You get strong as a performer. Performing in subpar conditions helps with that too.

Everyone was nice and helpful and if I had the chance to perform in the 2009 California State Fair again, I would.

Comedy in Los Angeles

2008-12-10T10:51:22Z

I’ve gotta be able to think of something. Posting something on this blog about comedy or something. here it is… I’m going to write about LA comedy life and spike it with some jokes so it’s more fun to read.

I saw shamu giving birth to a baby whale when I was a kid at sea world. I thought this was a beautiful thing and a sign that they were treating the whales really well. Then, I saw the show with freakin’ flaming hoop jumping and voluntary beaching of themselves. These whales even let a tasty child, pet their tongues. Then, I realized they could teach whales anything. “Baby whale, you swim inside the mother, bite a blood capsule, and Mamma, you push it out.” They prolly did that miracle of birth routine 7 times a day. It was prolly a dwarf whale.

Been going to a lot of standup shows and let me tell you, I feel sorry for the audiences most of the time. Why do people come to these shows? They’re irritating. A bunch of comedians gathering on a stage to spit into a mic about how sucky their comedian lives are.

Girls like to dress up like cats to be sexy, but this is crazy. Cats are not hot. I have never heard of a single human doing sex to a feline. Ladies, if you want to arouse men, try dressing up like a woman… or a horse, or a sheep, or a cantaloupe… or a jar of peanut butter, or a fist. You’ll find love in my home.

I try to become friends with the comedians, but it’s hard because I feel uncomfortable not telling them what I think of their acts. I love people and I like being clear with them even if they don’t believe my honesty. I figure most of you are the same way. Imagine if every friendship you’ve had began with that future pal’s failure to fulfill his dream.

My doctor called me to day. he said “You’re going to need penis surgery”

I was like, “Who is this?”

“Your doctor.”

“I don’t have a doctor.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have penis surgery without one.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m a doctor.”

“How do I know?”

“You’re gullible.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Really it’s me… Dad.”

“Oh, hi Dad.”

“Gotcha. I just did that to prove how gullible you are.”

“What time’s my surgery?”

You become friends usually because you believe in them and whether they’re on a path toward a dream or just great people, you want them to succeed at everything. My situation makes it hard.

You take away racism, then comes classism, without classism, there would be no more capitalism, then jism, next prison. There will be no prison. There will be convicts of all colors running the streets and noone will step up and say, “Wait, prison, isn’t an ‘ism’ it’s an ‘ison’” because without jism, smart people won’t be born anymore.

The end result, I don’t befriend them all. There are a few who work really hard and they deserve audiences and I feel like I can be honest with them. I guess this is how normal people do friendships. I’ve always been into giving anyone a chance.

Bags of dog food look a lot like bags of charcoal, and they’re often stocked near each other. Which came first and why do they want to sabotage each other?

Been thinking a lot about the whole pass/fail aspect of performing. I like objective art — art with a goal. I guess if you’re just a performing artist, you can do whatever you want, but if you consider yourself an entertainer, you’ve kinda set yourself up with a goal.

I personally want to entertain. I have always felt that if the crowd has side conversations or doesn’t thoroughly enjoy themselves, I failed. My goal is to have the audience feel that feeling that I felt that made me feel like being in the performing field.

“Grandpa, let’s go to this movie. It looks cool.” “Terrific. What does cool mean?”

Entertaining is something I’ve worked at really hard to do well. Here are some phrases I hear regularly from performers that I consider cop-outs and kind of insults to the blue-collar side of hard work in entertainment and to audiences in general:

“He’s a natural” ( nobody is )
“It’s a bad crowd” / “Bad room” ( then leave it to good performers )
“They don’t get me” / “My stuff is too smart for this room” ( you’re not smart enough to connect )
“I’m glad I’m not doing my good material in front of this crowd” ( huh? )
“You can’t entertain everyone all the time” ( isn’t that your job? )

I’m into the controlled death situation. I’m gonna have death insurance. Forget life insurance dispose of me as cheaply as possible. A mulcher’s cheap. But death insurance means like paying a hitman to take care of you when it’s time.

What I’d like to happen is I’m in the hospital with all the tubes and wires… Neil Patrick Harris comes in as doogie howser md. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s trying to read my charts and everything is going wrong. Then, somehow he gets tangled and accidentally unplugs me. Wouldn’t it be great if my last words were “Doogie, NO!”

I think this is what I have to share. I’m not ranting nor complaining. I don’t think it will change, but this is the situation I’m in — trying to have social success in a difficult situation.

Graveyard of comedy

2008-10-30T19:51:45Z

Since it’s spooky time, I thought it would be a good season to bring up an audio track that has risen from the dead. This is an mp3 of interstitial I made for a performance at garage comedy in LA. I was to come out on stage as a loser radio DJ as if I were on location and broadcasting live from the show.

The idea was that these little things would play when I came on and tell the story that I work for an arrogant radio station. I had forgotten that the sound guy is horrible at that show. He didn’t play them at the right time or volume. I needed the sound stuff to work for my parody to work. It really hurt to subject a crowd to that, but it’s a free show and mostly for comedians, so oh well. You can listen to the tracks below.

KRAJ Radio Interstitials

enjoy

Comedian Comedy Comedinates Portland

2008-09-05T22:04:57Z

“… and Scot Nery, the pancake juggler, whose surefire jokes as well as juggling skills made him a clear crowd fave!”

– OregonLive.com

That’s right, mama. I went to Portland, OR, and showed them how comedy is cooked. Had a great comedic time in the beautiful city playing comedy-rich kickball. Thank you to every comedy fan who came out to laugh and yell at me ( the comic ) and drink and yell comical phrases at me about drinking.

I had fun like a kid.

New Pancake Shirt For Sale

2009-03-12T02:49:06Z

Go Get Yours »

Got my pancake shirts in and ready to get them out to you. If you want an “I (heart) PANCAKES” tshirt, I’m dishin’ them out for only $15 $10 (INCLUDING SHIPPING!!?!) for a little while to get them out to the people that need them.

It say’s “I Love Pancakes” in a quality silkscreen on durable 100% cotton chest curtain. The shirt will look good and last you through lots of diner visits. The reason I’m selling it for so low, is I’m not trying to be a t-shirt dealer. I want to be a performer that’s easy to like. If you like me and you want a shirt, I’ll get a small profit and you’ll get fun evening-wear.

Every time I wear mine, some girl comes up to me and tells me how much she likes pancakes too. Luckily, it’s a different girl each time.

Go Get Yours »

Da Tour De Fat

2008-07-16T01:16:03Z

** EDIT: I’M CONFIRMED TO PERFORM AT MORE TOUR DE FAT SHOWS. SEE THE SCHEDULE BELOW

Yo! I performed my pan-caca at the Tour De Fat, Chicago. It was the first date on their tour and I loved it. The people and the festival were a total blast. There was a giant bike parade. A bunch of people promised to bicycle more and one guy traded in his car for a really nice 1 of 12 tour de fat cruiser.

Tour de fat is put on by the people that make… Fat Tire beer. It’s a bike, music and me festival. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go to more spots on the tour. Here’s where else the Tour De Fat will be…

San Francisco…7/19
**I’m @ Truckee…7/26
I’m @ Seattle…8/ 2
**I’m @ Portland…8/16
Boise George…8/23
Ft Phil Collins…9/06
John Denver….9/13
**I’m @ Duran Durango…9/20
**I’m @ Tempe Burger…10/11
**I’m @ Austin Powers…10/18

This weekend was my first opportunity to hang in Chi-town, which was also fab. The skys were bright blue, the sunlight was everywhere, white clouds, a noisy train and a great restaurant called “Chicago Diner” with good food, but a diner feel. The whole city feels really open and nice. Seems like a mini NYC to me.

Oh! and photos by Justin Goh…