Scot Nery : Pancake Juggler

Comedy in Los Angeles

2008-12-10T10:51:22Z

I’ve gotta be able to think of something. Posting something on this blog about comedy or something. here it is… I’m going to write about LA comedy life and spike it with some jokes so it’s more fun to read.

I saw shamu giving birth to a baby whale when I was a kid at sea world. I thought this was a beautiful thing and a sign that they were treating the whales really well. Then, I saw the show with freakin’ flaming hoop jumping and voluntary beaching of themselves. These whales even let a tasty child, pet their tongues. Then, I realized they could teach whales anything. “Baby whale, you swim inside the mother, bite a blood capsule, and Mamma, you push it out.” They prolly did that miracle of birth routine 7 times a day. It was prolly a dwarf whale.

Been going to a lot of standup shows and let me tell you, I feel sorry for the audiences most of the time. Why do people come to these shows? They’re irritating. A bunch of comedians gathering on a stage to spit into a mic about how sucky their comedian lives are.

Girls like to dress up like cats to be sexy, but this is crazy. Cats are not hot. I have never heard of a single human doing sex to a feline. Ladies, if you want to arouse men, try dressing up like a woman… or a horse, or a sheep, or a cantaloupe… or a jar of peanut butter, or a fist. You’ll find love in my home.

I try to become friends with the comedians, but it’s hard because I feel uncomfortable not telling them what I think of their acts. I love people and I like being clear with them even if they don’t believe my honesty. I figure most of you are the same way. Imagine if every friendship you’ve had began with that future pal’s failure to fulfill his dream.

My doctor called me to day. he said “You’re going to need penis surgery”

I was like, “Who is this?”

“Your doctor.”

“I don’t have a doctor.”

“Well, you shouldn’t have penis surgery without one.”

“How do you know?”

“I’m a doctor.”

“How do I know?”

“You’re gullible.”

“No, I’m not.”

“Really it’s me… Dad.”

“Oh, hi Dad.”

“Gotcha. I just did that to prove how gullible you are.”

“What time’s my surgery?”

You become friends usually because you believe in them and whether they’re on a path toward a dream or just great people, you want them to succeed at everything. My situation makes it hard.

You take away racism, then comes classism, without classism, there would be no more capitalism, then jism, next prison. There will be no prison. There will be convicts of all colors running the streets and noone will step up and say, “Wait, prison, isn’t an ‘ism’ it’s an ‘ison’” because without jism, smart people won’t be born anymore.

The end result, I don’t befriend them all. There are a few who work really hard and they deserve audiences and I feel like I can be honest with them. I guess this is how normal people do friendships. I’ve always been into giving anyone a chance.

Bags of dog food look a lot like bags of charcoal, and they’re often stocked near each other. Which came first and why do they want to sabotage each other?

Been thinking a lot about the whole pass/fail aspect of performing. I like objective art — art with a goal. I guess if you’re just a performing artist, you can do whatever you want, but if you consider yourself an entertainer, you’ve kinda set yourself up with a goal.

I personally want to entertain. I have always felt that if the crowd has side conversations or doesn’t thoroughly enjoy themselves, I failed. My goal is to have the audience feel that feeling that I felt that made me feel like being in the performing field.

“Grandpa, let’s go to this movie. It looks cool.” “Terrific. What does cool mean?”

Entertaining is something I’ve worked at really hard to do well. Here are some phrases I hear regularly from performers that I consider cop-outs and kind of insults to the blue-collar side of hard work in entertainment and to audiences in general:

“He’s a natural” ( nobody is )
“It’s a bad crowd” / “Bad room” ( then leave it to good performers )
“They don’t get me” / “My stuff is too smart for this room” ( you’re not smart enough to connect )
“I’m glad I’m not doing my good material in front of this crowd” ( huh? )
“You can’t entertain everyone all the time” ( isn’t that your job? )

I’m into the controlled death situation. I’m gonna have death insurance. Forget life insurance dispose of me as cheaply as possible. A mulcher’s cheap. But death insurance means like paying a hitman to take care of you when it’s time.

What I’d like to happen is I’m in the hospital with all the tubes and wires… Neil Patrick Harris comes in as doogie howser md. He doesn’t know what he’s doing, he’s trying to read my charts and everything is going wrong. Then, somehow he gets tangled and accidentally unplugs me. Wouldn’t it be great if my last words were “Doogie, NO!”

I think this is what I have to share. I’m not ranting nor complaining. I don’t think it will change, but this is the situation I’m in — trying to have social success in a difficult situation.

Graveyard of comedy

2008-10-30T19:51:45Z

Since it’s spooky time, I thought it would be a good season to bring up an audio track that has risen from the dead. This is an mp3 of interstitial I made for a performance at garage comedy in LA. I was to come out on stage as a loser radio DJ as if I were on location and broadcasting live from the show.

The idea was that these little things would play when I came on and tell the story that I work for an arrogant radio station. I had forgotten that the sound guy is horrible at that show. He didn’t play them at the right time or volume. I needed the sound stuff to work for my parody to work. It really hurt to subject a crowd to that, but it’s a free show and mostly for comedians, so oh well. You can listen to the tracks below.

KRAJ Radio Interstitials

enjoy

Comedian Comedy Comedinates Portland

2008-09-05T22:04:57Z

“… and Scot Nery, the pancake juggler, whose surefire jokes as well as juggling skills made him a clear crowd fave!”

– OregonLive.com

That’s right, mama. I went to Portland, OR, and showed them how comedy is cooked. Had a great comedic time in the beautiful city playing comedy-rich kickball. Thank you to every comedy fan who came out to laugh and yell at me ( the comic ) and drink and yell comical phrases at me about drinking.

I had fun like a kid.

New Pancake Shirt For Sale

2009-03-12T02:49:06Z

Go Get Yours »

Got my pancake shirts in and ready to get them out to you. If you want an “I (heart) PANCAKES” tshirt, I’m dishin’ them out for only $15 $10 (INCLUDING SHIPPING!!?!) for a little while to get them out to the people that need them.

It say’s “I Love Pancakes” in a quality silkscreen on durable 100% cotton chest curtain. The shirt will look good and last you through lots of diner visits. The reason I’m selling it for so low, is I’m not trying to be a t-shirt dealer. I want to be a performer that’s easy to like. If you like me and you want a shirt, I’ll get a small profit and you’ll get fun evening-wear.

Every time I wear mine, some girl comes up to me and tells me how much she likes pancakes too. Luckily, it’s a different girl each time.

Go Get Yours »

Da Tour De Fat

2008-07-16T01:16:03Z

** EDIT: I’M CONFIRMED TO PERFORM AT MORE TOUR DE FAT SHOWS. SEE THE SCHEDULE BELOW

Yo! I performed my pan-caca at the Tour De Fat, Chicago. It was the first date on their tour and I loved it. The people and the festival were a total blast. There was a giant bike parade. A bunch of people promised to bicycle more and one guy traded in his car for a really nice 1 of 12 tour de fat cruiser.

Tour de fat is put on by the people that make… Fat Tire beer. It’s a bike, music and me festival. Hopefully, I’ll be able to go to more spots on the tour. Here’s where else the Tour De Fat will be…

San Francisco…7/19
**I’m @ Truckee…7/26
I’m @ Seattle…8/ 2
**I’m @ Portland…8/16
Boise George…8/23
Ft Phil Collins…9/06
John Denver….9/13
**I’m @ Duran Durango…9/20
**I’m @ Tempe Burger…10/11
**I’m @ Austin Powers…10/18

This weekend was my first opportunity to hang in Chi-town, which was also fab. The skys were bright blue, the sunlight was everywhere, white clouds, a noisy train and a great restaurant called “Chicago Diner” with good food, but a diner feel. The whole city feels really open and nice. Seems like a mini NYC to me.

Oh! and photos by Justin Goh…

Contortion In ExpressJet Ad

2008-06-28T15:11:52Z

Hey, I did contortion in the national ad for ExpressJet. You can see the ExpressJet commercial online at “TV: Kiss” on expressjet.com . To see more of my contortion and commercial work, check in to my stuntgood.com

If they give me a copy of the commercial, I’ll upload an HD version for y’all to view. There’s also another contortionist in this ad. Bonnie Morgan is doing flips on a trampoline.

Los Angles Comedy Fest Updates

2008-04-19T17:18:16Z

I was invited to perform at the LA Comedy Festival this year and so far it’s going superbly… Except for one thing. They tell me I will not be the only comedian there. There are more than 8 others all doing funny stuff. That means, on May 1st, 12st & 17nd I’m going to have to really do well or the audience will know it.

I’m not one to usually shirk work, but … oh well. Fine. I’ll do it. I’ll perform funny comedy. See you there.

Comedy Cage Match Winner!

2008-04-19T17:08:37Z

I won the first round of Comedy Cage Match on CBS Mobile. It isn’t that my comedy was that much better than other comedians, just that people love my comedy more. People voted and I won! Thank you, people.

Two comedians compete head-to-head performing 60seconds each of standup. That standup is broadcast to 5 or 6 mobile phones all around the country. Then, one of those mobile phone owners votes for me.

I am the champion of comedy, and move on to the second round where I again capture 100% of the votes. After that I don’t know what happens. I think being the funniest comedy person in the world will get me my own developement deal with CBS mobile. Then I’ll finally get to do the cellphone cinema I’ve wanted to do since I was 4.

The Comedy Cage Match is only part of my lashing out against anonymity on the web. I am also one of the few comedians rateable on Yelp and google business search. Write me a review and see if I care. I probably will (care).

Keep your eyes in. We’re taping round two in late april / early may. So I’ll need a vote from you to win this. I think I’ll be competing against some people that own multiple phones. PS: I’m the underdog.

Los Angeles Comedy Festival Juggler

2008-03-21T08:00:04Z

Hey, I’m gonna be pancake juggling at the Los Angeles Comedy Festival between May 1 & 18. I don’t have my specific schedule of shows, but I know I’ll be doing shows involving comedy and me. Partially guaranteed.

You can go to their site right now and see old information for last year. That will be good. Sometimes nostalgia is best when it’s not your own.

Like the movie The Sandlot. It’s a story about these kids that play baseball and they’re this team that’s made up of misfits and they don’t have a chance in heck until their coach says, something like, “Kids, just because you’re different doesn’t mean the same kids can’t lose.” Then, they go crazy and get really good and they win. See, that didn’t happen directly to me, but I remember it like the back of my hand.

And there was that show “The Golden Years” about my parent’s memories and how people were really stupid and they freaked out every time something embarrasing happened. It was because you see, my parents did not have illegal drugs and teenage pregnancy to help regulate mood and put things in perspective. My mother didn’t even have pregnancy in her 20s. That’s why my parents were all old by the time I was of age to do my first comedy festivals. Makes you nostalgic for Vaudeville, doesn’t it? Back when performers that were really old were never paid enough and were forced to work the rest of their short lives to pay off their cigarette debts?

Comedy festivals are fun. People come ready for the opportunity to either be disappointed or have a good time. That’s how I like them. Gotta prove myself. And I will.

Blackberry Pearl 8130 IMAP Email, IM & more

2008-11-23T08:05:43Z

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