Scott Abel Life Coaching

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2014-11-22T14:10:00.002-05:00

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One Thousand Marbles

2012-07-30T06:10:00.000-04:00

A man was contemplating his mortality as all of us seem to do the older we get. As he approached his 55^th birthday he started doing some of his own reality math. The average person lives to be 75 so he realized if he was so blessed, then he had only 20 more years to live. He did some calculations and came to the realization that in 75 years, there are something like 3,900 weekends in life. He couldn’t imagine how many of those he had already squandered, time wasted. He also realized that at 55, if he did indeed live to be 75; that meant he had about 1,000 weekends left. He went out and bought himself 1,000 marbles to represent his time to live. He put them all in one glass bottle and labelled it, “time left to live.”

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

It’s all Under Lock and Key – or is it?

2012-07-16T06:09:00.000-04:00

Here is the folktale from the middle ages that still rings true today. A citizen in a very poor kingdom was caught stealing and reported to one of the local barons. He was immediately arrested, then beaten, then hauled down to the dungeon deep in the bowels of the castle. He was taken down dark stairs, down, down, down, getting darker and darker, colder and colder as they descended. He was led by a huge and ferocious-looking jailer. This jailer carried a few huge keys, strapped to his waist – these keys were at least a foot long. The locks they went into; must be formidable indeed. Finally at great depths and darkness, the door of the cell was opened. The citizen was flung into the dark depths behind the cell door, and the door slammed shut. And there he was.

He lay there in the dark for almost ten years. Every day that jailer would come – you could hear those giant keys clanging from far away. The big cell door would open slowly, creaking and grinding – and a loaf of bread and a pitcher of water were thrust inside the cell – then the cell door would slowly grind shut again.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

One Character Trait that Cannot be Faked

2012-07-02T05:34:00.000-04:00

Everyone at the University knew this professor – staff and students alike. She was well-respected. That was one thing everyone could agree on about her. But as a professor she was becoming increasingly controversial, this year in particular. The popularity of her course and her teaching methods had led to increasing interest among the students. The professor didn’t really care about that. She preferred the smaller classes actually. But her lecture style was different and unique.

As well as she knew her material – and she owned it, that’s for sure – but she knew people even better. She didn’t so much lecture “on” the material as she did “to” the students. But this became more difficult as her class size grew and grew. This year there were 400 students enrolled. I was one of her TA’s (Teaching Assistants). As she strolled into the lecture hall and to the podium the first day – you could tell before she said a word, that this was someone you would be paying attention to. As she grabbed the microphone at the podium, the crowd of 400 students became silent. She made it clear right from the beginning that those students taking the class for an easy “A” might as well drop out now. There was no such thing in her class she said. She made it clear the material presented in this course amounts to her life’s work; and if a student is not going to respect that and take it seriously, then she’d prefer they do not attend her class or take her course.

But she was most diplomatic in her tone as well.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

The Fear Consciousness

2012-06-18T08:28:00.000-04:00

One of the first things you come across when you go seeking spiritual development or self-awareness is about the consciousness of fear. Religious texts, new age wisdom writers, philosophers of the past and present all talk about the fear-consciousness. The basic premise is that where fear-consciousness resides, love cannot – or is at least diminished – Where fear-consciousness is present, faith is not. And I see this all the time in my day-to-day Coaching practice. What I witness is that the reason people are not reaching their life goals – is NOT because they don’t have the right recipe, information, or instruction. They are failing to accomplish and accomplishing failure because they live within the prison walls of fear-consciousness and they just don’t see it. Now, you may think, “but Scott, I’m not afraid of anything per se, I’m just really stressed and have a lot on my plate right now.” Well, that my friend “is” the fear-consciousness: Stress, anxiety, nerves, depression, angst, doubt, indecision, even apathy – these are all merely the different clothes worn by fear-consciousness. None of these states of mind exist, if fear-consciousness is not present and operating beneath the surface. Real freedom is freedom from fear-consciousness. Real freedom has nothing to do with living without responsibility: Real freedom is an ability to live without psychic fear. OR, to look at it from its own source, as stated in my book “Your Truth is Calling – Connecting the Dots to Self-Awareness” – “is not dread of thirst when your well is full, a thirst that can never be satisfied?”

Even the bible instructs to “rejoice in your troubles.” It doesn’t say, fear them, worry over them, stress over them. It says – “rejoice over them.” Why? Why would any sane person rejoice over his troubles? Because that is what builds strength – That is what builds character. Worry and stressing over your “well” whether full or empty, weakens you; weakens your resolve. That is what the fear-consciousness does – it strengthens itself as it weakens you. And I deal with it, day after day after day – in clients who just don’t get it. This is the reason they don’t get what they want in life. It’s not the other ten thousand reasons and excuses they come up with. So let me explain it to you all here below. And I think what I am about to share is vital stuff. You should pass it along to anyone you know who struggles with anything – big or small. It all starts (and ends) here.

Call it stress, worry or anxiety, or by any other name – this is the fear-consciousness in action. Fear paralyses your rationality; and by doing so it attacks, insults and reduces your imagination. Fear mortally wounds your sense of self-reliance and within all of this, fear strengthens itself. As it becomes stronger fear undermines your enthusiasm, steals your initiative, causes you to waffle over your true purpose or over your confidence in decision-making – and once again in doing so – fear strengthens itself.

At this point fear leads to procrastination and it obliterates your youthful eagerness. Fear puts its foot over the neck of your sense of self-control – leading you to act out of emotional impulse, which often becomes a habit. And in all of this fear once again strengthens itself. Becoming impulsive causes you to lose your connection to the unique charms of your own personality, and you know this is true, you’ve just never considered impulsive behavior that way before. Once you become impulsive you add unpredictable emotionality to your thoughts and therefore your ability to concentrate becomes suspect – often resulting in your best efforts being less than your best without you even knowing it. And yet again, in all of this, fear strengthens itself.
From here, fear crushes your efforts of persistence and it empties the power of your own will and will-power, beyond mere appearances to the contrary. It reduces to shambles your own ambitions. It even influences your memory to also focus on past events that produce fear, tension and anxiety. And once again in all of this, fear strengthens itself.

At this point, fear just takes over, from a state of mind to a state of being. It becomes your default operating system, with power either subtle and unrecognizable or so easily recognizably powerful where you can say, “yep, that’s me.” Now, fear invites failure in all manners and means, from considering failure and worrying about failure and just an overall preoccupation with the possibility of failure - which of course weakens the vision for accomplishment.
Worse, fear crushes love – not the emotion of love – but what is meant in scripture and philosophy about “spiritual love” – which is the operating default position when fear-consciousness is not present. The worse part of fear crushing love is that it crushes self-love first and foremost. . And from here it is free to commit assault and battery and vicious bullying on all the left-over finer emotions of the heart and soul.

Fear invites disaster like its throwing a party for it. You know it’s true. \

And in the end, clothed in stress, nerves, anxiety, doubt, indecision, tension and general angst (or whatever other labels you want to call it) – fear has physical consequences as well - sleeplessness, fatigue, misery. It leads to a void of all purposes beyond mere personal responsibilities of getting by. And what purpose or goal there used to be, with the consciousness of fear in place, that purpose now becomes an obsession. Purpose is based in strength and belief – obsession is based in fear and control. And within all of this, once again, fear strengthens itself.

And when you think about it, this all has a tremendous irony – and an almost Shakespearian tragedy built into it. We live in a world of indescribable over-abundance, ultra-convenience, and ultra-comforts. These are all the things our ancestors worked to provide us: Their lives much more difficult than our own. The debris of psychic fear should have been cleared away in this life of ease and convenience. Our modern world should be a place where fear-consciousness withers and dies. And yet it thrives. What a paradox of modern life.
Nothing can stand in the way of you having all you want in this modern era – nothing except the fear-consciousness.

And yet for most of you, what is fear-consciousness? It just starts out as a simple state of mind – and then it becomes its own monster. Fear-consciousness, no matter what words you use to describe it to yourself (worry, stress, anxiety, doubt, etc) is a state of mind that you yourself create. It is a state of mind that you yourself feed and reinforce, until it swallows the potential of who you ‘could be’ – and lost in all of that – is who you allow yourself to become. And again, fear strengthens itself. Fear – fear-consciousness – a creation of your own mind – a creation of modern times – and more is the pity in that – for all of us!

Declarations and Proclamations-Beware Your Own Self-Talk

2012-06-04T05:30:00.000-04:00

There is an expression in awareness training that says “The Universe responds in the affirmative.” This is an important and valuable insight but because of the word “universe” many people do not fully grasp the meaning of the expression. And it’s too bad, because this expression is one of the keys to understanding both - your way in – and your way out -of any issues you may have in life. This expression is really talking about consciousness and the power of the mind to direct your reality. It really is powerful stuff. What the expression means is that what you dictate to your own consciousness in your thinking and self-talk will manifest into the reality and circumstances you will experience. This is the law of attraction in action. But people still do not understand fully what this means and why it’s important. Let me explain it to you. You create your own circumstances in life. This also means you create your own reality including the issues you struggle with. And most people do not see that the way they think and talk to themselves can actually reinforce and cement their own unwanted issues.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Calm-Assertive Energy or Chicken Little

2012-05-21T05:03:00.000-04:00

Last blog we used the analogy of traffic signs in your head as a means to use rationality to combat emotional thinking. Often time if you “think” about it, “emotional thinking” is usually a contradiction in terms. Real thinking takes place in the mental realm, whereas the emotional realm is the realm of feeling. Your problems tend to manifest when you start thinking your feelings or feeling your thoughts and cannot separate the two. People with eating/food/body image issues live in this mirage every day. But a clear mind doesn’t think with the heart and feel with the brain. A clear mind thinks with the brain, feels with the heart, but also is “connected” to both in a way where these are not “distinct” realms, so much as these are just different rooms in a house of consciousness – each room part of the greater home. But never once in that home, is the bathroom or kitchen, rooms of utility, ever confused with the deck, or rec-room, or living room – the rooms of “relaxation and pleasure.”

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Traffic Signs Ahead – Traffic Signs in Your Head

2012-05-07T06:03:00.000-04:00

I talk a lot about the triangle of awareness – the equal sided balance between physical, mental, and emotional energy. But the whole balanced triangle itself is more than its component sides. The whole of the triangle is spiritual balance – and it can only be arrived at with true spiritual energy. The problem for almost everyone as I witness it, is that they compartmentalize all sides and angles of the triangle – sometimes never joining them at all. There are those of you who use mentation and intellectualizing to hide from emotional energy, and then those of who react with emotional energy to block out rational thought. Still, there are others of you who seem to think the weakest of all these sides – the physical realm – is the key to wellness. And of course this is the biggest ego-deception of all. Tons of people work every year under the fitness/diet/body-image industry mantra that if you just work on the physical elements of YOU – the emotional and mental elements will fall in-line. What a croc. Many people also use the physical realm as a way to hide from themselves and their lives as well. And they just don’t see it.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Finding the Center of Peace of Mind – Walking the Tao Path

2012-04-23T05:14:00.000-04:00

It’s funny but I witness more phoniness on-line in the name of “authenticity” than I do in the name of expertise. So many people can seem to talk the talk of authenticity – but their real, non-digital lives reflect a life that is anything BUT authentic. So many people I know represent themselves one way in the digital world – but lead their lives another way in their real-world. And then there are those who love to put fancy quotes beside or underneath their names, to sound either deep, or intelligent. But if you don’t walk the words you write, then it won’t matter much how impressed anyone else may be with your ‘borrowed’ quotes.

I wake up every morning and pray that peace of mind, contentment, and joy will be my path all the rest of my life. I don’t pray to “find them” because I already know and live them. They are my path. I don’t pray to hold on to them, because I don’t need to covet anything that is part of my consciousness. I just pray to remind myself that these things are the steps of my current consciousness. And I live them out daily regardless of circumstance. But what is peace of mind? I know so many people who can quote other people’s versions of it. But they do not know it in their own hearts. Well, I can comment on what peace of mind is to me – from the perspective of someone who lives in it and with it – and has for a long time now. And let me be clear here. What you “know” is of little importance. What you do with what you know – how you live “in” what you know – that makes ALL the difference.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

The Eager Young Prince

2012-04-09T05:59:00.000-04:00

The eager young prince was always ambitious. There was nothing he wanted more than to take over the throne someday. He studied his father’s leadership. He became skilled in both fine arts and the military arts. But he was young – he was impulsive – he was often petulant. The King always tried to explain to the boy that leadership was never about what you could see on the surface. It was about a million things you could not see that were alive below the surface. The King tried to instill in the young prince that leadership was not about power over the people. It was about taking care of the people. The King knew the young prince just could not see it. The young prince was already spoiled with the privileges that befall royalty. He knew well what privilege and entitlement felt like. It was for him a taste of power he reveled in. But since experiencing that taste of being prince - all he wanted was to be King. And make no mistake, even though he was a child of privilege and royalty he worked very hard at all things “royal and kingly” – knowing in his heart he would make a good King someday.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

This then: Is also about Me

2012-03-26T05:59:00.000-04:00

People are always asking me how they can become more introspective, and develop greater awareness for themselves. The process seems so foreign to so many, but it really is not that difficult. In fact I say it should be the most natural part of our being. And yet modern society has us so alienated from our inner consciousness – that people usually die, knowing a lot more about other people than they ever did truly know about themselves. But, that sad fact is in itself, a clue. There is an exercise for developing your own levels of introspection and deeper awareness. All it involves is paying attention to - what you are paying attention to – and then using the title of this Blog as a formula for introspection. In other words whenever you make an observation (evaluation, judgment) on people or the world around you – when you catch yourself doing so – you just say to yourself, without emotion – “this then – is also about me.” And then explore that statement as to how this observation could be about you and see where it takes you. It won’t take you long to get really good at it – and the result will be a deeper knowing of yourself and a very developed level of awareness. Think of it as a “fitness regimen” for your consciousness. Ram Dass said – “everything in your life can be a vehicle to your transformation, use it.” Well this little exercise shows you how.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Death Becomes You!

2012-03-12T05:04:00.000-04:00

It seems people have always used the ‘death comparison’ as a means to wake-up to live and pay attention to their own lives. The song “Live Like You Are Dyin” is a huge hit because it strikes deep sentiment in people. You often hear the phrase “live each day as if it were your last” and people think of it like seem deep-seated spiritual sage advice. But is it? I mean, it’s a quaint expression to advise people to live each day as if it were your last – but what does that even mean? And is it even remotely realistic on any plane of existence?

If today were indeed your last day, would you really be going to work today? Would you be doing all your usual morning preparations and watching your same TV programs or checking your same internet sources? I mean, if you KNOW you were going to die today – that is the only way possible to live as if it were your last, and everything about this day would change. So you cannot truly live like you are dyin – or live each day as if it were your last – because there are day to day things you must do, which include preparing for tomorrow in earnest. So, to my mind, while these expressions seem to strike at the hearts of people – they don’t offer much in real terms beyond that. But I would like you to think and contemplate another idea. How about to live the rest of your life as if you are already dead?

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Are you Being Chased? Then Stop Running!

2012-02-27T07:18:00.000-05:00

Be Still and Know That I AM

There was a man

Who was so disturbed
By the sight of his own shadow
And so displeased with his own footsteps
That he determined to get rid of both.

The method he hit upon was to run away from them.

So, he got up and ran

But every time he put his foot down
There – was another step, so another footprint
While his shadow kept up with him

Without the slightest difficulty.

He attributed his failure

To the fact that he was not running fast enough.
So he ran faster and faster, without stopping,
Until,
He finally dropped dead.

He failed to realize that if he merely stepped into the shade

His shadow would vanish, and if he sat and stayed still,
There would be no more footsteps.

The Chinese sage Chuang-tzu wrote the above. He lived 369-286 B.C. It seems to me human nature has not changed all that much. Above, he uses the word “shadow” of course both literally and metaphorically.

So many people are running from shadows. Shadows of their past, shadows of insecurity and inferiority – so many shadows – running, running, running to escape them all. But running is avoidance, and avoidance never works. People run ‘away from’ and often ‘to’ some other thing. The other thing becomes a substance or activity of dependence. All it represents is like changing shoes to run some more.

Chuang Tzu also uses the word footprints above to describe someone who doesn’t like himself. Something about himself, he cannot change, but cannot accept, haunts him. So he tries to run from it. He tries to pretend that by running, he can change it. Or, at least by running, he thinks he does not have to accept this ‘footprint’ as part of himself. But of course, it is “his” footprint. He owns it. He cannot change it and he cannot run from it.

So, the man dies after decades of trying to run from shadows of his life, and parts of himself he cannot accept.

Sound familiar?

If you are being honest it should sound familiar. Most people spend most of their lives this way. And once you start running from pain you set up a mindset of being chased by it as well. If you are lucky enough, the chase is more like a dog chasing a car. But for most people the chase is more of an adrenaline type of chase of running from a hungry lion. Eventually, like anyone running to escape a predator – you get exhausted. And the pain not only catches up to you, but of course it overtakes you. And in your exhausted condition from all that running, for all those years, you cannot do a thing about it. You cannot outrun it anymore. - You realize, you never really could. You can’t resist it, because the running has weakened your resolve, and the pain has caught up to you. All that running. Where did it take you? It’s like putting miles on a treadmill but going nowhere the whole time. Are you ready to just ask yourself if it’s worth it anymore?

And as Chuang-Tzu points out – if you just step into the shade and stop running – the shadows would disappear. If you just ‘stopped’ and sat down, and turned your mind off for a while, the footprints that you despise about yourself would just stop impacting you. The answer lies in quiet. “Be Still and Know That I AM.” This statement is as much about your inner-self as it is about knowing God. In fact, in some theologies, these two are linked.

But you need to stop and face what you are running from and avoiding. Actually better to turn and face the pain – its shadows and footprints – face them at the beginning when you are still strong. At least do so if you can. To turn and face them after the long chase, when you are so exhausted from running from them – just makes them seem more powerful than they actually are. “Be Still and Know That I AM.”

Sit on your pain for a while. Free your mind from the chase for a while. Take the running shoes off. Invite the shadows and the footprints in to sit and rest as well. You don’t realize they are tired of the chase as well. Befriend them. They have much to tell you about yourself.

They may not be looking so much to ‘catch and overtake’ you – but to ‘join’ with you – rejoin with you. Because they are parts of your whole.

You have the power to end the chase. You do so by realizing if you keep running and avoiding there is no finish line. “That which doesn’t kill you makes you stronger” – is a lie. The running and avoidance is exhausting you. It’s making you weaker (not stronger) in so many other areas of your life. Sit and be still instead, and listen. You do not even need to “do” anything. How much the opposite is that, to what you are told about the world we live in. Run, run, run – do, do, do. No. Sit and “BE” still. There is no chase.

We live in a different time and era than Chuang-Tzu. But as I said at the beginning, human nature has not changed very much -At least not spiritually. This is why all the ancient texts are so useful. They are all about human nature and man’s struggle with spirituality and consciousness.

But here’s the thing.

I’ve read a lot about enlightenment, enlightened humans, paths to enlightenment and all the rest. The modern message seems to indicate that you need to surrender it all and go to an Ashram somewhere and ‘seek’ enlightenment – sometimes for years. But the modern reality is not “Eat, Pray, Love.”

For tortured souls of our time, there is another path to finding your own truth. And that is hitting rock bottom. Hitting rock bottom sounds devastating but it actually represents the end of the chase. And it’s better than dropping dead from the running and the exhaustion.

Hitting rock bottom is a lot like worm-hole to enlightenment and personal awakening. It is a direct Star-Gate if you will – to finding and knowing yourself. But it requires that you stop avoiding yourself. It requires that you turn and face the shadows. It requires you take off the heavy shoes that are leaving such impactful footprints. It requires just facing yourself, right now.

I came to my personal transformation from the wormhole of rock bottom. If you cannot stop the chase and running and avoidance – sometimes God stops it for you. Pay attention.

The Universe is always whispering to you, ways you can just “BE Still and Know That I AM.”

Don’t confuse that gentle whisper with just another shadow you are trying to run from.

Stop. Just for Today. Stop: Rest your feet. Stop: Rest your head. Stop: Rest Your Mind. And the “Rest” of it will surely follow. Find the energy of “allowing” “accepting” and then just sit a while and Be Still.

Or, you can continue running and being chased by shadows of your life, and footprints of your own making. And like the man above, you will surely die, while still running, while still being chased by shadows.

Some of you will get it – some of you will not – many of you really need to!

For more I suggest you read my book – Your Truth is Calling – Connecting theDots to Self-Awareness.

What do you Want? – Too Often Confused by “The Circle of Want?”

2012-02-13T05:58:00.000-05:00

As I stated on my Facebook page the other day, now more than ever – in our time – it seems we can have anything we want. But our culture of entitlement – and the combination of modern convenience and ease of living – has led to a certain kind of mental greed. It has led to a greed that makes people feel like being able to have “anything” you want – means you can have “everything” you want. And this is a fallacy. It seems people seldom are able to address any more - that “one thing” they want – let alone address in reality what they are willing to do or sacrifice to get it. And the key word in all of the above is the word “want.” We exist in a culture of “want.” And most people do not even realize the effects of this on their psyche.
If I tell you ‘you can have anything you want’ but you cannot have it as part of ‘everything you want’ most of you nod in agreement and think “well, of course, I know that.” But do you? Have you ever considered how that goal you “want” spirals into so many other wants that you don’t even consider the reality of how little you are willing to do or sacrifice to achieve that goal.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Dear Life

2012-01-30T05:54:00.000-05:00

Dear Life

Well it seems I’ve been struggling for years now to write this letter to you. Part of the struggle is my own immaturity of thinking. And part of it is also the tremendous amount of sentiment that rushes out from me when I think of writing you this letter. I’m glad I can type it on a key board over writing it in ink- because on paper the ink would be illegible from all the falling tears.

In my immaturity, when I first pondered writing to you all those years ago, my misplaced focus was on trying to romanticise all the right words for you. I wanted to focus on writing something beautiful for you – something honest. I guess my thinking was, if I could just write this letter well enough – then I can make you love me. But I realize now these are such adolescent thoughts. You don’t need me to try to get you to love me – you already do. It’s taken me a long time to understand that. You don’t need romantic – you just want sincere. That is all you’ve ever needed. So I write you this letter, sincerely. And as I continue to fumble to find all the right words you deserve, please bear with me – but know I am writing not to try to romanticise the words, but to sincerely express my heart.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

Make Love to Your Day!

2012-01-16T04:19:00.000-05:00

Today is my mistress, my lover. So many people do not even greet their Mornings anymore. They forgot how to love their day, by making love to their day. They roll out of bed, rubbing their eyes – and prodding ahead like robots – just trying to ‘get through’ the morning till they ‘wake up’ and can get on with it. How can there be any passion in that? Passion is the central ingredient to love-making. How would “just getting through sex” be an enjoyable experience for anyone – by comparison?

I encounter my Morning as my lover. I start with a long, slow, passionate, tender kiss that has no time limit. I’m quite adept at loving her. The passion of this first adoring kiss - causes my Morning to curl up her toes in heated, wet, anticipation of where this may take us next. This is just foreplay to the start of my Day – prologue if you will.

I’ve learned that my life is meant to be a romance. And it is here for the long haul. It will not be a “hopeless” romance but a ‘hopeful’ one if I have any input into it. – And I have ALL the input. But like any lover in a romance, She craves passion. She craves to be lovingly appreciated with an intense invested passion that only She and I can share. We call this intimacy and primacy.

The romance that is my life – She doesn’t just want my sex. She wants my desire. And I delight her in all manner and means of delivering it. It’s too easy and facile to get complacent with any lover. I start making love to my day, in the early passionate kiss I share with ‘Morning.’ I let the passion bloom from there. I don’t just have a romance with my life; I have a fiery flirtation with her as well.

Sometimes Life and I, we share illicit passion, sometimes forbidden pleasures, sometime just mutual-nurturing and fun sexploration. But it’s all there. The Lover that is my Day, she needs ‘action’ in love-making. She craves passion.

I’ve learned life waits on me like an eager lover. Like any good and eager lover – a show of passion is excitedly returned in kind. I start my day by probing my Morning with foreplay – and she responds, with the kind of passionate and uninhibited titillation of her own. And now it’s my toes that curl up in excited anticipation of where this may take both of us.

Life wants my passion and romance. She will not forget me – if I don’t forget her. Life reminds me that I was created in a burst of passion – and by romance. So were you.

So where is the passion for your day?

Are you making love to her/him? Are you letting passion collect dust or settle and die into some kind of ‘routine?’

So many of you live in psychic remorse for dead passions: You start thinking of all the passions that have died or you let die or let go of. You contemplate things unobtained or undone. You start thinking in regrets – not just of lost loves – but of ‘things’ – things you once loved and treasured but have now learned to live without. Maybe it was a class you didn’t take – the travel you always planned but never experienced – maybe it was another love you let slip away – it could even be something as simple as that outfit you loved but you didn’t buy, because, well, where would you wear it? Slowly but surely a little passion is subtracted here and there.

Then, there is love from your day you can’t return.

Then, there is a love for your life that may even frighten you.

And there comes eventually from that loss of passion – a love for your day you can no longer express. Those easy loving gestures of yesteryear are now lost in hesitation. The romance you are meant to have with your own life loses ground and loses heat because real-life-demands, force you into choosing prudence - over passion.

But you can reconnect anytime with Life. He/She loves you. He/She is waiting on your passion. He/She will return it in kind. He/She is an amazingly passionate lover. All you need to do is rekindle your romantic impulses, no matter how impractical or implausible.

Connect with your day by starting each morning with foreplay.

Let her know you love her. Don’t tell her, show her.

And show her in a way she cannot soon forget, nor want to. Connect with things that fuel your passions if you must. But remember, your life is meant to be a romance. You don’t need to look anywhere else for it, and you don’t need to go anywhere else to find it. He/She is right here. And like most lovers who have been neglected or taken for granted when it comes to passion – He/She is craving it – in action. So just deliver it.

Don’t allow day to day life to get ahead of you so much as to douse the flames of passion. This day, Today – He/She is a beautiful and eager lover – and He/She only comes once. Passion neglected is passion denied. Eventually those who crave passion, as everyone does, if they don’t receive it, they move on, in mind or spirit to seek some new way or person to fulfill its hunger.

Make love to your day. Start with the Morning. She will respond fervently I promise. She may even surprise you with her prowess .Remind yourself that your life is meant to be a romance: An epic one. What bucket list do you have? What places do you want to go? What worlds are there for you to conquer? Explore Today, this Morning, as a passionate lover. Touch him/her, caress him/her.

Honour your deep and sacred cravings for romance – by showing some passion.

Your life is meant to be an epic romance. Your Day today is Your Lover. Don’t take him/her for granted, and don’t expect him/her to show you passion, if you don’t express it yourself. But if and when you do – you will find a mutually invigorating and expressed passion that climaxes in a mutually pleasurable explosion of action – that leaves you both blissfully exhausted from the investment.

Make love to your day.

Then renew it tomorrow.

Finding the Missing Pieces

2012-01-02T06:30:00.000-05:00

Attempt to give back to the world a portion of your lost heart and you find it again. But instead - people seem to think the answer is to get more to fill that space. The result of this backward thinking is backward living as well. You don’t realize it, but you become a cultural commodity and a cultural casualty as well.

And it’s ironic because this mindset never returns to you, the lost portion of your heart – it just continues to sever you further from it. And then, emotionally clouded for reasons you don’t even understand, you blindly start to live backwards. You try to get more things, or more money – because this will give you more of what you want, and then you will be happier, or so you think and feel. But the way (The Tao) it actually works is the exact opposite. You must first be who you really are - then do what you need to do – and from there, give more of yourself.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

'Tis the Holiday Season

2011-11-28T05:19:00.000-05:00

Tis the holiday season

But all up in your head

“How to stick to your diet”

Fills you with dread

There will be parties and gatherings

Festivities and such

Temptations too many

And pressures too much

And websites and media

Their articles abound -

“Be fearful this season

Lest you gain a few pounds!”

So you get out the scales

One for the kitchen and bath

You’ll be vigilant this year

No room for a gaff

You’ll weigh every morsal

And then yourself every morn

And if that scales moves slightly

You’ll meet it with scorn

Oh you’ll commit to the diet

But it won’t be a cinch

And you’ll do what you must

Becoming a Grinch

No egg nog for you

No drinks to good cheer

Not even hot chocolate

Not even light beer

You’ll skip the big feast

The trimmings and pie

You pretend you don’t want it

But you know that’s a lie

Just one more temptation

To add to the pile

But do you question the costs

Of such extreme self-denial?

So you sneak a few shortbreads

Aware what you ate

And then wash them all down

With a big dose of self-hate

Then you redouble your efforts

Your commitment to self

But your willpower’s shrinking

To the size of an elf

So if that’s what it takes

You’ll try even harder

You become a slave to your diet

And serve as its martyr!

So pile on the guilt

And more contempt for the season

And who could blame you at all

Because you have ‘such a good reason’

You’ll go hungry tomorrow

Yes, that’s the trick

“Bah humbug” this season

That includes you, Ole Saint Nick!

So at the next party

You stick to all veggies - no dips

“A few moments in the mouth

But a lifetime on the hips”

That is your motto

You remind yourself harshly

You’ll stick to the veggies

The garnish, and parsley

So starving you go

While trying to be nice

Resisting visions of sugar plums

And any other food vice

But your heart is not full

Of goodwill toward men

Because your stomach is empty

And your cravings, X’s ten!

No chocolate at all

No candy canes either

Not even a lick

Or on your thighs it will gather

So, you’re sticking to diet

But you seem to have lost all the ‘Merry”

You’ll weigh in tomorrow

And even that is quite scary

“And the gym may be closed”

You hear someone say

“Say it ain’t so man

You’re supposed to workout on that day!”

So instead you start hoping

For a dumping of snow

You can burn lots of calories

In the shovelling, you know

Now you’ve lost all perspective

And something more dear

No glad tidings inside you

Less love and good cheer

To all of you out there

Who want to surrender tradition,

I say - you lose something far more important

Than some lame diet mission.

The Good Book teaches

A time for all seasons

Don’t weigh yourself down

With lame diet reasons

Embrace the full season

And all that it brings

The food and the drink

And other such things

And on this diet of yours

What if you cheat?

I say, celebrating the season

Is not a defeat

And just put away for now

Your guilt-measuring scale

And if you want to, instead

Have another cider or ale

So I send you all out

This warm season’s greeting

And I suggest to you all

Just enjoy what you’re eating!

I say let go of the guilt

And stick a fork in your diet

And I’m sure you will like this

If you let yourself try it

The guilt and the worry

Will surely poison your mood

And all over what?

Some drink and some food?

There’s a time to make Merry

To be human as well

So why give this all up

For some dark diet hell?

We celebrate yearly

With food and with drink

Embrace them both fully

It’s time don’t you think?

Don’t you get tired

Of the same yearly game?

You crave and resist

And end up with shame

Forget all these experts

Who warn you of gain

They are part of the problem

And cause you more pain

They tell you “be worried”

Or you may end up fatter

They want to generate fear

So ignore all their chatter

You need not resist

And suffer in hiding

Get out there and share

In warm joyful tidings

There is a time and a place

And the holiday season’s not it

To think that your diet

Is something you “quit”

Raise a glass to good cheer

And fill your plate up as well

And embrace all the sentiment

From that first jingle bell

Because spiritual fitness

Is shaped in traditions

So, embrace them in full

Without these self-conscious restrictions

There can be food for the soul

And for the soul, can be food

And there’s meaning in that

And I don’t want to be rude

But there will always be time

For the battle of the bulge

But there should also be occasion

To most fully indulge

So here’s my idea

It’s not so contrary

It’s is far more important – in season

To Eat, Drink, and be Merry!

So hear me exclaim

As I sit here and write

Season’s Greetings to All

And To all

A Good Bite!

If the Holiday season is something important to you and yours, don’t rob yourself of all it can do for you by trying to divide your energies. I implore you, as a fitness and diet expert – let go the self-consciousness - let go the body-image - let go the diet-nonsense and the guilt attachments, just this season. And see what it does for your soul. Allow yourself and your heart to be fully wrapped up in the magic of the season again – even be hugged by it. Remember what it was like as a kid. Embrace that. Your soul needs it. Your soul is nourished by it. It’s once a year. Let go, surrender the external stuff, for internal real stuff – the stuff of the stuff - that should matter.

Season’s Greetings to You All – and

God Bless

The Story of Big Fat Bob

2011-11-21T08:37:00.000-05:00

In his younger years Bob had an “ok” body. He never had ripped abs or was never very muscular. He was certainly not the athletic prototype or anything. But no one would have labelled him as fat back then either. And playing for the school football team and other activities of being young kept his body in decent shape internally, even if he didn’t look so buff on the outside.

But then, like for so many others life happens, and it did for Bob. He got married, settled down, got a nice comfortable desk job and had a few kids. Life meant letting go of physical activity and it began to show, slowly at first and then to a point of being undeniable. He earned the nickname “Big Fat Bob.” But this was not derogatory or anything. It was all good-natured because Bob is good natured. He sometimes even called himself, “Big Fat Blob.”

But soon his weight became an issue. He couldn’t sleep at night and would soon need a sleep apnea mask. He has acid reflux a lot. And now even walking up his stairs at home gets him winded and bothers his knees. Big Fat Bob’s nickname may be cute but the condition he is in certainly is not. Sure enough, Bob made an appointment to see his cardiologist.

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand

About Awareness

2011-11-07T06:10:00.000-05:00

I talk a lot about awareness. And I do so because I think it is so important but also so ignorantly neglected. I know many people who talk the talk of awareness but who are completely self-deluded. I wrote “Your Truth is Calling – Connecting theDots to Self-Awareness” several years ago – and I still get people telling me they are re-reading it now for the third and fourth time. Since then I’ve also been talking about “The Triangle of Awareness” – and the importance of having an equally-sized and balanced triangle between physical, emotional, and mental realms – and how like a triangle, each side of the triangle touches all others. Many people just do not seem to understand this. They want to underline one particular area in their life to “correct”, but at the same time completely neglect the other sides of the triangle. That just puts you more out of balance – and so it goes. And while my book, “Your Truth is Calling” certainly gets into the details of all three sides of the triangle of awareness, there is a more general discussion to have as well. Most people need to start with some real basic premises and questions, - namely, “what is awareness?” and “how aware am I really?”

See the rest of this blog post, and many more in Scott's New E-Book

Go Deeper to Live Better... You Can't Change What You Don't Understand