Screenwriting Foxhole

Action Movies and the Third Act

2012-01-30T16:25:00.000-08:00

The year is barely a month old and we’ve already had two very interesting action movies released, Haywire and The Grey. While on the surface they appear to have nothing in common they are very similar in terms of the their third acts. Massive spoilers are ahead so don’t look those who haven’t seen the movies.

LAST CHANCE. LOOK AWAY NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT THE ENDINGS TO EITHER MOVIE SPOILED

Start out with Haywire. I must confess I like this one a lot. It’s a guilty pleasure. It exists for only one reason, to establish MMA fighter Gina Carano as a legit action star and in that it does not disappoint. Directed by Steven Soderbergh, the action is shot in long takes at medium distance so Carano’s athleticism and fighting ability are well displayed. Under those conditions even a lot of male action stars would have a hard time looking believable. There’s no shaky cam or quick editing to hide the use of stunt doubles.

In other respects the movie needs a little more generosity from the viewer. Carano won’t be headlining Broadway any time soon. She does okay for an action film. She has humor and screen presence. Her acting ability is about on par with the rest of the action stars. There are rumors that her voice was digitally altered and seeing her interviews on Youtube I can believe that. She sounds a lot huskier in the film. But whether it’s true or not, it’s not a big issue for me. Voice alteration is a fact of life in the music industry. I’m shocked it took this long to catch on with the movies. The real problem is the story which is generic almost to the point of brilliance. Almost but not quite. And one of the main reasons is the third act. The movie doesn’t have an ending it more or less stops. And before it does it was running out of gas. It doesn’t look deliberate like in Ocean’s Eleven (I owe for that thing you did with that guy that one time) it looks like the writer just ran out of ideas.

The Grey’s ending is planned and it fits. But it might not make people happy.

The Grey was a huge surprise. It’s really an intense drama about mortality disguised as a survival drama. It’s shocking almost, you’d expect the bold experiment would be by Steven Soderbergh and the action vehicle to be from Joe Carnahan, not the other way around. But that’s how it worked out. Whether it was budget restraints, crummy CGI, or an artistic bent that would shock anyone who saw Smokin’ Aces, The Grey is about characters facing their demise. So when the film abruptly ends just before Liam Neeson charges the alpha wolf with knife and broken bottles taped to his hands (What can I say? – The trailer lied), it doesn’t feel like a cop out. No, this is a culmination of the character. Whether he lives or dies is no longer the issue. That he actually stood up for one last fight, that’s what’s important.

But here we have two action movies with no action endings. This is the exact opposite of a typical action movie. Many of them have no action except for the ending. In fact the rule for most ‘70s actioners is skip the first two acts, just tune in for the ending.

Is that a trend writers should follow? Depends. I think Haywire’s ending is a big letdown that nearly drags the rest of the film down. That’s because it had more modest goals. A traditional action packed ending would have been much more appropriate. The Grey however was a bold movie and the ending is a bold choice by the director and writer. It fits the story perfectly. And that’s what writers should be paying attention to. What does the story need in terms of an ending? A bang or a whimper?

Post Mortem of David E. Kelly’s Wonder Woman

2012-01-23T11:48:00.000-08:00

How does an Emmy winning writer completely ruin one of the most iconic superheroes? Simply by being himself.

When it was first announced I wrote about my concerns for David E. Kelly bring Wonder Woman to the small screen. When the network yanked the plug after viewing the pilot episode I didn’t know what to make of it. Without seeing the episode I couldn’t tell if Kelly had knocked it out of the park and the network suits had simply turned their backs on the unfamiliar or if he’d stunk up the joint and the execs were showing a rare moment of competency. Well a short time ago I finally saw a large chunk of the pilot via the popular That Guy with the Glasses website.

Wow. Worse than I thought. Here’s the video below.

Granted this isn’t the whole pilot but I could barely get through this video. When you can’t even watch something when it’s getting the Mystery Science Theater 3000 treatment you know it’s bad.

One thing that stands out to me is the point I made originally; that David E. Kelly is the LAST person who should be put in charge of a comic book adaptation. I had a lot of people tell me that great writing is great writing and that genre doesn’t matter.

Oh but it does. It really does.

Especially when a writer has made a career in a genre that is incompatible with another. I know that sounds crazy in this age of constant mashups but there are some genres that don’t play nice with each other at all. Legal dramas are not necessarily more realistic, most of Kelly’s legal dramas contain more fantasy than Lord of the Rings. But legal dramas are based on the notion that the legal system is vitally important if not the final word on any given argument. Superhero comic books are based on the idea that the law is something you can set aside. Much like physics in Star Wars, the actually law gets in the way of enjoying a good comic book.

So what does Kelly do? He can’t stop being himself. Instead of high flying adventure the only thing he can see are all the civil liberties being violated. And he makes the crucial mistake of thinking that’s what comic fans really want to see. Comic book fans aren’t for civil liberties anymore than they are for guys killing themselves trying to swing from rooftop to rooftop like Spiderman. As a result he turns in a show that is openly hostile to the idea of civil liberties and in the process shows off his own contempt for the genre he’s writing in.

Now there are writers out there who can pull this off. Who can move from one ethos to a completely different one. But those individuals are truly rare. And David E. Kelly for all his accomplishments clearly isn’t one of them.

Face Off and Concept

2012-01-16T12:42:00.001-08:00

A lot of writers have a grudge against reality shows since they are to blame for the decline in scripted shows. But there’s no arguing that they’re cheaper to produce and draw an audience so I don’t see them going anywhere anytime soon. And they’re not all bad.

Can a writer learn anything from watching these shows? I like to think so. I like to think that these shows become popular because of the characters and because each season ends with a big finale. That’s something scripted genre should strive for. But one of my favorite reality shows is Face Off on the SyFy channel. And I think all would be writers should tune in especially science fiction and fantasy writers.

Why?

Because this is the show where concept plays such a huge role in who comes out on top. The make up artists don’t just come up with ideas randomly. Each challenge their creations have to reflect a concept. This is something screenwriters need to do as well. They need to work on their screenplay concepts and how to express those ideas. In fact I think the Face Off contestants could benefit from working with a screenwriter.

Take the opening episode of Season 2. The first challenge was to reinvent the characters from The Wizard of Oz. The two teams came up with some good concepts but watching this at home I was saying to myself “Space Opera. Space Opera. Space Opera.” Admittedly I’m sort of stealing from the Twilight Imperium game. But in the end I think I came up with a concept that produced very unique takes on the characters; a pod person Scarecrow, a cybernetic tin man, a cowardly lion/fat space merchant, and a wicked witch with telepathic powers.

It’s interesting because both writers and make up artists use their imaginations but they often take different avenues. It’ll be fun to watch this season and see if the other challenges are as writer-friendly as the first one.

An Open Letter to Team Green Arrow

2012-01-13T08:43:00.001-08:00

The internet is buzzing with rumors that Green Arrow will be made into a pilot for the CW. Nobody asked but I’m going to offer my two cents. When it comes to comic book TV and movie projects you can’t assume anything. So if Team Green Arrow has already had this discussion then congratulations you’re off to a good start.

The series has two ways it can go; young Green Arrow or Older Green Arrow. Both versions offer strengths and weaknesses.

With Young Green Arrow you might be thinking this is easy, it would be a continuation of the Smallville series. Except that that Smallville was no longer Smallville by the time it ended. Hell it technically came to an end when Green Arrow appeared IN COSTUME. Remember the primary concept of Smallville originally is this was Clark Kent before he put on the mantel of Superman. The moment Green Arrow showed up Smallville essentially became its own sequel as it was about young heroes in costume; except for Clark who for some reason put off donning the Superman cape for another 5 years. So a continuation would actually be a continuation of Smallville 2.0, young heroes in love. This can work because of one character, Black Canary. The Green Arrow/Black Canary pairing is one of comicdom’s greatest. It’s been going on since the ‘70s. It’s provided loads of sex and is the main reason IO9 ranks it No. 1 on its list of comic book movies that should be R-Rated. But like all good couples there’s been plenty of friction and conflict over the years. They’ve broken up, found new love interests (always another costumed vigilante) only to come back together again. So this would be nothing like Smallville in tone or focus. Think Fraser vs. Cheers. Same character but the show completely changed once Fraser Crane became the focus.

Black Canary will be such a central figure in this show, unless you DON’T want the massive built in audience to tune in. This is a chance to correct a major TV injustice. A decade ago the then WB announced Birds of Prey based on Gail Simone’s hit comic book. The TV writers thought they knew better, didn’t consult Ms. Simone at all and proceeded to create one of that season’s biggest flops. Do yourselves a favor an have a much publicized sit down with Gail Simone to talk about the characters, particularly Black Canary. That alone will give you early points with the fan community. Believe me you’re going to need them because you’re going to rub some fans the wrong way no matter what you do.

And for the love of God please don’t do a Smallville prequel and show how Oliver Queen eventually took up the bow. Prequels suck. It didn’t work out for George Lucas. Do you think there’s a huge fanbase out there that wants to know what Oliver Queen was doing before he was Green Arrow?

Now some on the internet fret whether this show will be Gossip Girl with Weapons. That actually is a good description of the current Green Arrow “family.” You have the two sexy parental figures Green Arrow and Black Canary. Then you have younger characters like Roy Harper, Arrowette, Mia, Connor Hawke. This wouldn’t be a bad set up. The younger characters have diverse backgrounds. Mia was living on the streets and is HIV positive. Arrowette had a privileged upbringing but an overbearing mother. Then there’s Roy Harper and your chance to redress a huge outrage. Roy Harper was an amazing character; a recovering drug addict who was also a single father to an adorable little girl, Lian. But then DC decided to kill Lian off because they wanted to make Roy more “intense.” The result was enormous fan backlash and the new “intense” Roy Harper was something of a joke. For some reason comic books are the one industry where it’s okay to cause massive fan outrage. Don’t expect the same courtesy. Fans will keep shelling out hard earned money for comics but they’ll drop a show they can see for free if they don’t love every second of it. If you put Lian Harper into your show you’ll have a ton of goodwill from fans.

So good luck. I’m hoping this project gets picked up and that it does right by the characters. No matter what you choose to do, there are opportunities. But there are also pitfalls.

Screenwriting Contest Do’s and Don’ts for 2012

2012-01-09T13:06:00.000-08:00

2012 means another year of screenwriting contests. Is yours ready to be submitted?

Contests remain a great way for screenwriters to hone their craft and get attention from agents, managers and producers. The biggest contests have incredible cash prizes. The PAGE Awards grand prize is up to $20,000. And the field isn’t as crowded as one might think. But is your script ready to be judged?

DO get your screenplay proofed before sending it in. My biggest pet peeve as a script judge is a script littered with typos followed closely by one that’s full of formatting errors. This is basic. Failure to do this waves a big flag that says “I don’t care.” If a writer doesn’t care about the appearance of his script, what are the chances he cared enough with the content? That may sound unfair but there are now there are dozens of services that will professionally proofread and check your script for formatting. Speaking of which…

DON’T go another day without some kind of formatting software. Final Draft is the industry standard. Don’t have the money? Pick up a used version on eBay or download one of the free software packages from the net. Stop trying to make a properly formatted script in Word. Either you have the word processing skills to do that, in which case you should be able to afford Final Draft, or you do not have the skills and your script is going to look like a hot mess. Again this is basic. Contest fees alone will run you more than a copy of Final Draft. It’s another way, fair or unfair, that we judge who is taking this seriously and who isn’t.

DO look for a contest with multiple genre categories. I’m happy to say more and more major contests are becoming like PAGE or the Hollywood Screenplay Contest. It’s no longer one category fits all. This is great for genre writers. And here’s a tip, if you can, ask somebody at the contest which genre needs more entries. I guarantee there will be at least a few categories that are low. I’ve judged contests where some categories had entries numbered in the single digits. Can you say, improved odds of winning?

DON’T get hung up on one screenplay. It’s a new year. You should have a new script. You should have a bunch of new scripts. You want to be a screenwriter, not some guy who wrote ONE screenplay. Writing more screenplays is the only way a writer can improve.

DO start your story off quickly. The first act isn’t a pass to be dull and boring. A story starts with page one, word one. To win you have to be great from start to finish. But you’ll never get past the first round if you don’t grab the reader’s attention on the first page. Also make sure your mid point and ending are pretty good too!

Marketing Packages Vs. Coverage

2012-01-02T12:30:00.000-08:00

People often ask if they should include their coverage in a query letter. The answer for that is always no. Coverage, whether done for a production company or an individual writer, should always be marked FOR INTERNAL USE ONLY. In production companies it’s for deciding whether or not to pursue this project. To that end they employ their own readers; people they have a long standing relationship with and trust implicitly. For the individual writer coverage should be a tool to help one become a better writer. We may think we did everything perfectly but maybe there’s something we missed. Does your really script climax with an earth shattering bang or die out with a whimper? You think it’s great but are other people going to see what you see? If people who aren’t your friends and family are giving you high marks for your writing you can be pretty confident that you’re at least doing something write.

But what do you send to a production company or agent?

The Hollywood Screenplay Contest is offering Marketing Packages. These are materials specifically designed to help a writer sell his or her screenplay. There are plenty of other marketing services for writers. They offer a range of services from query letters all the way to PR services.

Are they worth it?

Depends on your own level of experience and ability.

Remember that good writing and good marketing are two related but separate pursuits. And writers often have a huge problem when it comes to things like self promotion and PR. You’ve heard it before; writing by nature is a solitary endeavor. Some of us have trouble getting out of our shells. Even those of us who are extroverted by nature could benefit from another set of eyes on the project. Just as an outsider can see the flaws that we are by nature incapable of noticing, they can also suggest avenues we never though of.

Coverage is a good idea though not everyone needs it. Some writers can put enough distance between themselves and their material when it comes re-writing. Or they know experienced and accomplished writers and editors who will take a look at their script for no charge.

Maybe you are a very experienced marketer. Maybe you already know several people at a production company/management company/major agency. Maybe you can sell ice to Eskimos. Maybe you don’t need coverage or a marketing package.

But then again, maybe you do.

Congrats Pat White!

2011-12-29T11:42:00.000-08:00

I've been away from the Foxhole for a while but now is a good time to come back. First I need to give a shout out to Pat White my client and friend who this previous year won THE GRAND PRIZE at the 2011 PAGE Awards for her sci fi script Escape. Way to go Pat!

I had the privilege of reading Escape early in 2011 and I'm not surprised at all it won. Pat is a very accomplished writer and her concept was flat out brilliant. Here's hoping Escape catches the eye of a producer!

Coming up I'll be doing a post on Marketing Packages. I'm always being asked if a writer should include coverage in a submission. The answer is no for a variety of reasons but a marketing package is something a writer should look into.

Then, fresh off a another busy month of judging I'll be listing my Do's and Don't's for contest submissions.

Everyone have a happy 2012!

Why "The Killing" Sucks!

2011-06-20T08:51:00.000-07:00

Sorry, can't contain myself any longer. I have to get this out there. I watched the season finale last night and I'm still pissed off.

MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD

I got into the show late in its run about the time the critics were making a sharp 180 degree turn against the show. At the time I didn't see what the problem was. The episodes I saw were character driven and tied together by the mystery of what happened. But then last night it all became clear to me what the critics were complaining about.

To recap, it looks like they've finally put the nail in the coffin of mayor elect Richmond. They have photographic evidence from the highway patrol that he was driving the same car that Rosie Larson drowned in. But then at the last minute our heroine gets the call that the photo was faked, that the camera in question has been out of service for months. The culprit behind this? Her partner Holder, who was meeting a mysterious somebody later. Brilliant twist right?

WRONG!!!

It is idiotic on the basest level. Holder just slaps together something on Photoshop and claims its from the Highway Patrol? And that's good enough to get a leading candidate for mayor arrested? Okay. Except there's this thing called an evidence chain. Holder can't just show up with a photograph, which by the way in order to fake would need serious Pixar level computer skills. All evidence has to be tagged and recorded. There is a CLEAR path from source to the evidence locker and that path is checked and double checked every step along the way. It most certainly would in this case. In other words Holder's deception would have lasted all of ten seconds as the captain or DA would have immediately put in a priority call to the Highway Patrol to VERIFY the photo and its provenance.

It had been obvious, even to a friendly observer like myself, that the writers and creators didn't do a whole lot of research when it came to detective work. The cops were doing things, like checking the odometer and fuel records of the car on day 13 that they would have started back on day 1. But Holder's turn is just sloppy hack work. He was easily the most interesting character with his urban slang and scarecrow appearance. Plus he never acted as a guy who was either A) covering up the murder or B) trying to frame Richmond. In just the last few episodes he was providing vital clues and/or leading the investigation away from Richmond. Richmond only became a suspect in the end of the last episode by pure chance.

AMC gets a lot of deserved credit for their shows. The writing is usually smart and razor sharp. This time however they missed badly. The people in charge of this train wreck can write dialogue and characters, I'll give them that. But it was achingly obvious they knew nothing about mysteries, thrillers or basic police work. And given the money involved they had no excuse not to change that.

Villains

2011-06-14T15:15:00.000-07:00

Came across this over at That Guy With The Glasses. This is Jesuotaku, one of their anime critics talking about great anime villains. It just reminded me of how important it is to write good antagonists or villains. In my book there is a difference between an antagonist and a villain. Antagonists are fully developed characters who just happen to have goals completely in conflict with the hero's. A villain is well a bad guy. And yeah it is hella fun to write a real bad guy sometimes.

I also want to make a special note about Light Yagami from "Deathnote." One of the secrets to that anime's success I think is its timeliness. Light really is a villain for the information age. He's an arrogant, intelligent, charismatic punk who thinks he knows how the world should operate despite still being in high school. He's like a blogger given ultimate power.

I kind of like lists. I find I work pretty well turning over a bunch of ideas in my head rather than just concentrating on just one. That's why I've got this list copied down and I'm looking at it to see if it inspires any ideas for my stories.

The Boring Work of Story

2011-05-31T07:55:00.000-07:00

I did a guest blog on Rex Sike's Movie Beat where I reviewed Pirates of the Caribbean: On Stranger Tides.

In it I mentioned that in the original film the story worked because Captain Jack was basically a wild card while Will and Elizabeth were doing the main plot work. It may sound like I'm encouraging writers to create boring characters. I should clarify.

Now first off, I may be in the minority, but I never found Will and Elizabeth that boring. Sure, compared to Jack Sparrow they're as dull as oatmeal but so is every one else including Geoffrey Rush and Jonathan Pryce. Especially in the first film Will and Elizabeth are sympathetic and even a little funny in their own right. Plus they set the emotional stakes for the story.

Go back to the very first scene in the very first film. That scene is a marvel of economy. It sets the ominous and mysterious tone of the films that follows with the ship coming out of the mist. It sets up the menace of the Black Pearl with the wreckage of the ship. The speaking roles are all important characters later on in the story, Gibbs, Norrington, and Governor Swann. It sets the plot in motion with Elizabeth discovering the cursed gold piece. But most importantly it establishes the relationship between Will and Elizabeth. Even though she's just met the boy, young Elizabeth still takes away his gold piece, which she believes will condemn him as a pirate. This is an important point, she takes the gold piece out of altruistic motives. It would be very, very different if she simply stole it. But the relationship starts on a positive note. So when we cut to the next scene of Will and Elizabeth the characters are on firm footing. These aren't just two young people making goo goo eyes at each other despite their station. They've a relationship going back several years. In Elizabeth's eyes she's even saved Will's life. Whether or not you personally find this aspect of the script compelling or whether you love Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley or hate them, the important thing is that it makes sense as far as the story is concerned.

Captain Jack hasn't appeared yet but the story has already started. When he does come in, he doesn't have to worry about the plot or the emotional stakes, he can just be Captain Jack Sparrow and the movie is better for it. That freedom he has is part of his appeal. I remember a lot of my characters seemed to lose a little bit of their luster when you got down to the emotional stakes. And every story needs emotional stakes even if we want to resist it.

Emotional stakes means grounding the character in the stuff a mass audience can relate to. Will and Elizabeth's romance may not be a love story for the ages but it is a love story. That's where the new movie flounders most of all.

The trick is to find a character as explosive as Jack Sparrow yet give him believable emotional stakes. That's one of the trickiest feats in all of writing. The magic is in the mystery, in not knowing where a character like that is coming from. To give him emotional stakes is to take away a bit of that mystery, to make him more of a recognizable human being. But stories are about recognizable human beings.

So no I don't advocate writing boring characters. I advocate writing the characters that your story needs. Those emotional stakes have to be set by somebody.

You'll Never See This Again: Too Late The Hero

2011-05-23T09:09:00.000-07:00

I love great action scenes. Here is a classic from Robert Aldrich's Too Late the Hero from 1970. In it an exhausted Cliff Robertson and Michael Caine have to run across an open field to get back to the British base while the Japanese try to gun them down. Aldrich shoots this scene perfectly. It looks like no matter how fast the two of them run they can't get any closer. The music builds. The soldiers at the base cheer them on. There's plenty of gunfire and explosions. It's one of the great action finales in my book. (The fun really begins around the 1:30 mark)

And it will never be done again. Why? Look at the scene again. You never see the actors' faces once they start running. That turns out to be very important towards the end and gives the scene that added bit of suspense. There's no other way to really film or write this scene. But that's just not allowed anymore. Stars cost too much money and if you're going to pay the big bucks you'd better get as many closeups as you can. Closeups would ruin this sequence in my opinion. The fact that you can't tell who's who is just too critical.

Now maybe a lower budget film like a direct to DVD or a SyFy original movie might be able to get away with a sequence like this. The question is why don't they?

"Showrunners" Documentary - AT LAST!!!

2011-05-16T07:16:00.000-07:00

You know I wish this film had come out years ago. I mean YEARS. AGO. I haven't seen it yet but I know I am going to own it eventually.

Way back when I thought I wanted to be a chef. I lasted about 2 months in real restaurant. Now if Anthony Bourdain had written Kitchen Confidential a few years earlier I would have been prepared and maybe would have thought long and hard about whether it was for me or not. I hope this doc has a little bit of that quality; that it demystifies and makes clear the business of writing for Television. Could have used that when I started out.

Showrunners Trailer! from Christof Bove on Vimeo.

One of My Favorite Openings

2011-05-09T10:12:00.000-07:00

I love the Lion in Winter.

To me it never ages. One of the things I admire mostly is the economy of the story telling. The story is full of complex plots and incredible monologues. It could easily become stagey or worse incomprehensible if done wrong. But the writers and filmmakers deftly avoid that trap.

Look at the very first scenes. Just two images and a single line sum up the story perfectly.

Swords clash. Then we get Peter O'Toole yelling "Come for me!" But he has an insane grin on his face. He is in fact sparring with his beloved son, Prince John. Trying to teach him to be a king. But in those first few moments you have the entire film. This is about violent people. Their world is full of conflict. But Peter O'Toole's Henry isn't afraid. "Come for me!" he yells at the audience, daring to take on the entire world. And he's got a grin on his face. He's not afraid. He loves this. Conflict, battle, war make him feel alive and young. But that's the problem, he loves battle too much. It may be the only thing he truly loves. He can't relate to his wife Elanor or his sons Richard and Geoffrey except through the prism of conflict and war. He's sparring with his son. His entire personal life is just one long duel. Later in the movie he says he wants peace, but that's a lie. Such a man as this can never be truly happy in peace. It would kill him.

All that is explored in great depth during the rest of the film but it all begins with that one simple scene.

That's how you open a picture!

The Next Big Thing?

2011-04-25T13:06:00.000-07:00

Paranormal Romance.

And I’m not just saying that because I’ve got a book out.

The Twilight movies and books have been cleaning up despite the reviews. The franchise has already spawned a series of knockoffs. Sure Red Riding Hood bombed but True Blood and Vampire Diaries show this genre has legs.

Harry Potter and Twilight have really expanded the appeal of the fantasy genre. It was not that long ago that fantasy and paranormal fiction was a very male dominated genre. Things started to turn a little bit with Anne Rice. During the 90s the horror audience became more female oriented thanks to the Scream franchise. And of course Buffy was a cult hit during this period. Odd as it seems now, Buffy was derided by insiders as late as 2002 for having an audience of young girls. So when Twilight hit the market both in book form and as a movie, the audience was already primed. That audience made it’s presence felt.

So what’s next? Well Hollywood hasn’t even mined a fraction of the YA and adult Para Romance that’s out there. But that doesn’t mean there isn’t room for original para romance works. In fact there are some areas where screenwriters might make a splash.

Don’t forget the key word in here is romance. Most of the para romance tales on the shelves, both adult and YA, are deadly serious. Maybe the audience is ready for a paranormal romantic comedy? God knows we need a vampire comedy funnier than Vampires Suck.

There are a lot of science fiction and fantasy spec scripts out there. To be honest most of them have a very hard road to getting produced. The Para Romance angle gives these projects a bit more viability. If you’re hitting more than one target audience it’s a good thing.

I’d love to see the Wom Jep movie get a healthy dose of fangs and or magic. There’ s still a huge market for these movies as Lifetime proves. But the formula is getting a little stale. Some paranormal might spice up the genre.

The slasher has undergone many changes and revivals. Perhaps it’s time to combine it with the PNR. What would Bella do if Edward wasn’t a “vegetarian?”

These changes are coming. Or if not them then something like them. The writing is on the wall. In the 70s Star Wars showed that sci fi could be a commercial hit. Afterwards you saw sci fi creep into TV and other genres. Alien created revitalized the sci-fi horror genre. Then Terminator brought sci-fi into the action realm. There were sci fi love stories (Starman), comedies (Ghostbusters, which was kind of paranormal but anytime your characters strap on a proton pack, it’s sci fi) and kids movies (E.T.) Maybe all of these projects come about without the success of Star Wars but I’m sure it didn’t hurt.

So how will Paranormal Romance influence the entertainment world? Will other Para titles make it to the big screen? Will vampires and werewolves crash the top of the Neilsen ratings? Will Joss Whedon’s Buffy finally get the respect it deserves from studio bigshots? Don’t know for sure but I can’t wait to find out.

Insider's Guide Available

2010-10-26T13:41:00.001-07:00

The Insider's Guide to Screenwriting is available from the PAGE Awards

I authored the chapter on Structure.

Buy a copy today!

NEW CONTEST: National Student Film Association UK

2010-10-26T05:32:00.000-07:00

National Student Film Association Announces Free Screenwriting Competition

Today the National Student Film Association (NSFA) invites all student film-makers to submit their short film scripts to the National Student Screenwriting Competition. The competition is run in partnership with the BFI and boasts a host of professional judges including BAFTA winner Asitha Ameresekere, the organisers of the London Screenwriters' Festival, and board members of Euroscript and Women in Film and Television.

The competition is aimed at UK students of all kinds who are looking for a career in film but have not yet had the chance to present their work to industry professionals. Not only does the competition offer fantastic prizes such as a mentoring meeting at BAFTA as well as BFI and IMAX vouchers, but students will also have the opportunity to get their scripts read by two members of the high calibre jury.

Competition judge Asitha Ameresekere commented, "This is a fantastic opportunity for students to expose their work to members of the industry and gain invaluable experience in the competitive screenwriting business. I am very excited to be part of the NSFA competition and look forward to supporting outstanding new talent."

The competition is hosted online at Circalit, an online platform for aspiring writers, where all the entries will be visible to the public, and talent scouts will be paying close attention to the winning writers.

Raoul Tawadey, CEO of Circalit, commented, "The NSFA are doing student film makers a great service by connecting young artists with industry professionals. Starting a career in film can be a difficult process and the gap between writing your first screenplay and seeing your work produced can be very daunting. I hope this competition and the work that the NSFA are doing will give students the opportunity to kick start a career in the film industry.”

Screenplay submissions can be up to five pages long and of any genre. The deadline is the 7th November 2010. For more information please visit, www.studentfilm.org.uk

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Franzi Florack
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Writing the Found Footage Horror

2010-09-11T08:59:00.000-07:00

This is an adjunct to my blog on the Wrap.com about the Found Footage Horror genre. Check that out to learn the rules and tropes of the genre here we’ll talk about using them in a script. Found Footage will almost certainly continue to be a hot genre for the next years. What that means for the writer is that every knucklehead with a version of Final Draft will be banging out his version and sending it in. How are you going to make yours stand out from the pile?

Once again MASSIVE SPOILERS on Last Exorcism.

The Beginning

As I cover in my blog, Last Exorcism nailed its opening. Previously everyone had been going the Blair Witch route. They’d just have people milling about aimlessly on a loose journey to…somewhere. Then the demon or the Cloverfield monster would disrupt their lives and that’s the fun would start. But it was teeth grating to get to that part in Blair Witch, Cloverfield and Paranormal Activity and it probably looked even worse on the page. Last Exorcism presented a new paradigm, borrow from real documentaries. They give us a character who is interesting and they quickly show why he’s interesting. In just a few short minutes we get a look at who Cotton Marcus is, his history and why he’s so fascinating (a preacher who may not believe in God) and then we’re off on the exorcism of the title. It not only gives us a good character it gets us on the road and headed towards trouble faster than any other Found Footage I can think of. Writer’s should definitely take a look at this opening. It’s like a journalism piece. It leads with the headline, or at least what the fictional documentary makers thought would be their headline. If you were writing a documentary your first job would be identify your subject and tell us why he’s worth watching. That’s really a good tip for any kind of writing.

Foreshadowing

It’s a little heavy handed but it makes people chuckle. Both Last Exorcism and Blair Witch use interviews with the locals to foreshadow their endings. It sounds outrageous but it turns out to be 100% true. This type of foreshadowing is used in fiction a lot (as a fan of George R. Martin’s Song of Fire and Ice I am eagerly awaiting the appearance of the giant ice spiders) But it’s not something that appears too often in films. It’s up to the writer whether or not he wants to use this technique. Right now it’s cool. It will eventually make audiences groan so if you’re going to use it, best use it in the next few years.

Atmosphere

One thing restricts Found Footage is you usually can’t pile on the dead bodies and mayhem until the very end. If these fictional cameramen start seeing people die they’re not going to hang around. They’re going to book it to the nearest police station. So things have to proceed with more subtleness. Instead of the growing body count of a slasher film the writer has to up the creepiness factor bit by bit. In Last Exorcism, Nell appears to be suffering from schizophrenia. It’s not until late that we hear two voices coming out of her room. The exception to this rule is if you’re doing a REC/Cloverfield story where the characters are trapped in an area that’s under siege by zombies or giant space aliens.

Use the Medium to Your Advantage

Some of the creepiest moments from Found Footage movies are aural in nature. There are the voices in Last Exorcism and that baby crying in the distance in Blair Witch. And who can forget the sound of the monster stomping by the store in Cloverfield? Yes, that had a visual component as well but it started as just a noise. Visual shocks can work very well in the medium because they have the illusion of being real, but they tend to be so powerful that they’re best saved for the end.

Kill Everyone

Don’t forget to leave no survivors. This is Found Footage after all. The people who shot this did not survive. Generally it’s not until the very end that the characters all die like in Last Exorcism, Blair Witch and Paranormal Activity. Just remember it’s always a single camera being operated by one of our characters. He’s not going to hang around and give you a perfectly framed shot of one of his friends being killed (which is why foreshadowing is a good thing!) The one exception is when the camera man gets killed like in Cloverfield where the poor shlub is obviously paralyzed with fear giving us our first clear extended shot of the monster’s face…right before he eats the character.

Machiavelli part 2 and 1/2: Some Thoughts and Words of Warning

2010-07-13T16:57:00.000-07:00

Since I started this blog on Machiavelli, it's been eye interesting to then go and observe recent moves in Hollywood or re-examine moves in the past.

Recent news that Edward Norton has been replaced as the Hulk for the Avengers movie really got me thinking. Some people may think that it's a cost saving move. Others may say it's karma, payback for Norton's past bad behavior. In way that's true. Norton has behaved badly in the past. In particular however he had a habit of rewriting his own lines. According to sources, Norton would show up on The Score with new dialogue he'd written that night. He'd tell director Frank Oz that these were the lines he'd be using that day, end of argument. I don't know if that was his modus operandi on the set of the last Hulk movie, but if it was then his firing makes perfect Machiavellian sense. The director on the Avengers is Joss Whedon, a man who knows a few things about writing. Marvel and Whedon probably decided better not give him the opportunity to test their power so they cut him off when he was weakest, before cameras started rolling.

Then there's the case of Joe Carnahan. As you'll remember, Joe and his handpicked screenwriter were the last men standing after 9 others had taken their swings at writing The A-Team. That minor victory proved to be a major defeat as it left no one other than Carnahan to take the fall when the movie failed. The only other culprit could have been the producers who greenlit the project in the first place. That was never going to happen.

Then there's the case of Jerry Bruckheimer, one of Hollywood's most successful producers. It's fascinating that you don't see his name associated with a lot of projects based on established material. Or at least nothing so popular that the writer would have a lot of power coming in. He hasn't made a superhero movie. He hasn't taken on a YA fantasy series. He has produced movies like those, but they are always original creations he can control. Rather than have to deal with Dan Brown he made National Treasure. Rather than deal with Marvel, he adapted a Disney theme park ride. Who's going to complain about what he does in that series? The guy who built the ride when the park opened? In his behavior you can see Machiavelli at work. He's avoiding possible confrontations with people who might wield as much or more power during the process like Stephanie Meyers or J.K. Rowling.

All this comes with a warning. Machiavelli, a lot of people forget, was often talking about a zero sum game. That is you win or you die. That was the case for a Renaissance prince. That's not the case here. Your career is not zero sum. There are degrees of success. Plenty of people play power politics and at some point, if your career goes anywhere you will have make a stand. But most of the time you should be able to take your money and your credit and walk away with a smile on your face. If you keep playing all or nothing, sooner or later you will end up with nothing.

Machiavelli’s The Prince and Screenwriting Part 2

2010-07-03T09:11:00.000-07:00

Continuing the discussion on how Machiavelli’s The Prince can help the screenwriter’s career. It’s obvious when you read Nikki Finke or the Hollywood Reporter, when you hear about how Robin Hood was mucked up or how The A Team needed 11 different writers, it’s obvious; screenwriters have very little power. Take this post from Hollywood Roaster. It’s not real, but it’s a “funny because it’s true” joke.

If somebody gets screwed in the process, you better believe it’s the writer. There is very little to do about it early on in your career. They’ll throw a bunch of money at you then tell you to get lost. By their way of thinking the writer should be glad for just getting a paycheck and his opportunity. And that’s not wrong. The paychecks for features are BIG and you can’t have a career until start one. But after you start, then you need to look out for number one, and try to take as little of number two as possible. So how does old Nicky M suggest we proceed?

To start you need to understand two very important things. There’s the script and then there’s your career as a screenwriter. They are two entirely different things. Writers tend to conflate one with the other. An individual script is (hopefully) one of many. Fighting too many battles early is a sure way to get a “difficult” label attached. Now everyone in the movie business is difficult. Just ask the assistants or the security guards at the gate. When a person is labeled as Difficult it’s because the value he or she adds to the project is lesser than the amount of problems they add. If you add enough value to a project the studios will put up with anything up to and including major felonies.

4 Why the Kingdom of Darius, Occupied by Alexander, Did Not Rebel Against the Successors of the Latter After His Death

In Machiavelli’s day there were two types of kingdoms, those which were absolute monarchies and those that were more feudal in nature. Feudal kingdoms were easier to conquer, he said, but harder to hold on to whereas absolute monarchies were just the opposite. How does this apply to the screenwriter? Look at the A-Team. 11 writers worked on that. That’s a lot like a feudal kingdom. In a situation like that it’s easy to get hired on as writer number 7 or 8. The trick is to be the last writer standing. In the case of the A-Team the last writer was a friend of the director. Directors are like the absolute monarchs. Announcing a director puts a project on track. If he leaves it usually derails the entire works. It’s not that easy to get a directing job. You have to have the track record that’s worthy of the purposed budget. There are plenty of projects languishing in Hollywood because the director attached is no longer considered as bankable. Because of this it’s hard to become a director and harder still to remove one from the project.

5. The Way to Govern Cities or Dominions, That, Previous to Being Occupied Lived Under Their Own Laws

When those state which have been acquired are accustomed to liver at liberty under their own laws, there are three ways of holding them. The first is to despoil them; the second is to go and live there in person; the third is to allow them to live under their own laws...

This might be the second best known tenet of Machiavelli’s next to, “It is better to be feared than loved.” It’s certainly an idea that gets put into practice a lot in business. Usually when there’s a takeover what follows is a purge. Out with the old team and their projects, in with the new. That is certainly the case in the entertainment industry where a change in management usually spells doom for the projects already under development. It also happens in writing especially. This is why there isn’t anything left in the movie Robin Hood from the smart and very original screenplay Nottingham. As soon as a new writer was brought on, the first thing he did was scrap what had been done before and come up with something new. Artistically it’s indefensible. The practice has resulted in some the worst, most disjointed Franken-scripts in Hollywood history. Yet it’s a sound career tactic. As Machiavelli says, “And whoever becomes the ruler of a free city and does not destroy it, can expect to be destroyed by it…” Unless you are absolutely secure in your relationship with the producer, director and star of the project, in which case you probably would have been the original writer, then you need to make a mark and demonstrate what value you can add. If you spend your time praising the work of the previous writers you’ll probably join them as previous writers.

6. Of New Dominions Which Have Been Acquired by One’s Own Arms and Ability
7. Of New Dominions Acquired by the Power of Others or by Fortune
8. Of Those Who Have Attained the Position of Prince by Villainy
9. Of the Civic Principality
11. Of Ecclesiastical Principalities

Machiavelli spends these chapters talking about how kingdoms are acquired. They all boil down to the same advice however; secure a power base, neutralize or eliminate those who could prove a threat, always strive to be top dog in the pack. Of special mention is chapter 8 Of Those Who Have Attained the Position of Prince by Villainy. Why is this important to remember? Because no matter how good you are you’ll always be a villain to somebody. Never more so than when your work actually starts getting made. It will start with the internet trolls, the people who swoop in on discussion boards and talk crap. But they’re just the tip of the iceberg. Get used to the idea that somewhere out there there’s a group of people laughing at or hating on a story you sweated bullets to get just right. And it can spread. Look at Ehren Kruger. You’d think he ran over somebody’s puppy. But as long as you make preparations and not get caught up in the negativityyour career will continue. (Interesting here is Kruger is now pissing off the actors which could spell doom for that career of his if he’s not careful)

10. How the Strength of All states Should Be Measured

And whoever has strongly fortified his town and, as regards the of his subjects, has proceeded as we have already described and will further relate, will be attacked with great reluctance, for men are always averse to enterprises in which they foresee difficulties,…

That last part should be framed over everyone’s head, “…men are always averse to enterprises in which they foresee difficulties,…” Universal truth. I know, you hear a lot about the great entrepreneurial spirit of America, that just means we’ve 1 in 10 who are willing to take on a difficult project whereas in the rest of the world it’s more like 1 in a 100. Odds are if there’s any great difficulty attached to a project, large budget, difficult shooting conditions, no name actors, it probably won’t get made. Unless of course it’s more difficult to NOT make the project. Harry Potter 7 could have cost half a billion dollars and it was still going to be made. Ideally you want to, as much as possible, make it hard for studios to pass up your project. This is especially true today. You have to do more than minimize the reasons to say “No.” You have to make it potentially hazardous for them to pass up on it. Today that means established properties; getting your story published first as a novel or a comic book. Marvel Comics went direct to video fare to its own studio in less than a decade. Harry Potter and Twilight are destroying box office records. Those who can create material and build a following have a huge advantage over screenwriters with just a spec. They have advantages over producers and even studios if the fanbase is big enough. Can you imagine what would happen to a studio exec who tried to step on J.K. Rowling or Stephanie Meyers? It’s an odd set of circumstances that exist right now. On one hand Hollywood has all but shut down the spec market, limiting opportunities for writers. On the other they’re obsession with established material gives certain writers more power than ever.

Next Post Part 3

Teaser Trailer for Raymond Did It

2010-06-26T07:43:00.000-07:00

A few months ago I interviewed Travis Legge about his upcoming horror project Raymond Did It. Well he's wrapped and here is the teaser trailer.

I love slashers. They're a guilty pleasure of mine. This looks like a good one!

Congratulations, Travis.

Machiavelli’s The Prince and Screenwriting Part 1

2010-06-11T16:34:00.000-07:00

Machiavelli’s The Prince is the classic book on strategy and skullduggery. For centuries it’s been used as a guide for leaders, politicians and businessmen. But can it help a screenwriter navigate the sharks in Hollywood?

Yes, if you make a few allowances.

1 The Various Kinds of Government and the Ways by Which They Are Established.

All states and dominions which hold or have held sway over mankind are either republics or monarchies.

Machiavelli says in his next chapter that he’ll only be talking about how monarchies operate. This is good because when a screenwriter negotiates with a producer, a star or a director he is essentially talking to a king or a queen. Businesses are essentially monarchies. There a boss and what he says goes. He might be restrained by corporate bylaws but that’s nothing compared to the constant haggling a democratically elected official has to engage in. The good news is that as soon as you sell your screenplay you’ve joined the aristocracy. There are four pillars that make up a movie, the producer, the director, the star, and the screenwriter. Editors and DP’s might be hugely important but they rarely if ever get a seat at the big table. The bad news is that out of the four pillars, the screenwriter is the most junior and the most replaceable. Writers are replaced at the drop of a hat. Going in you have to be aware that yours is the weakest hand.

2. Of Hereditary Monarchies

…the difficulty in maintaining hereditary states accustomed to a reigning family is far less than in new monarchies; for it is sufficient not to transgress ancestral usages, and to adapt oneself to unforeseen circumstances…

No your kids won’t actually inherit your position as screenwriter, though they’ll have an easier time breaking in. But a year is a lifetime in Hollywood. After just a few sales you will have become known for a particular kind of writing. Therefore anyone who has that kind of a project is going to look to you first. Usually after just one sale your reps will be inundated with offers. You’ll be offered Chainsaw Sorority Part IV because you wrote Lifeguard Massacre III. As Mackey says, these gigs are easy to maintain as long as you meet expectations. The problem arises when you want to break out of your niche. William Peter Blatty is a prime example. Blatty started out as a comedy writer. He wrote A Shot in the Dark which essentially created the whole Pink Panther franchise. But by the late sixties he was tired of comedy and wanted to write a horror story. Studio execs wouldn’t even look at his horror writing so in frustration he turned to print publishing. He wrote The Exorcist which became a bestseller. Ironically he then tried to go back to comedy only to then find himself trapped in the horror niche.

3. Of Mixed Monarchies

But it is in the new monarchy that difficulties really exist.

And here’s where we start to get into the nitty gritty. The real meat of how to begin your career and lay the proper foundations.

Thus you find enemies in all those whom you have injured by occupying that dominion, and you cannot maintain the friendship of those who have helped you to obtain this possession, as you will not be able to fulfill their expectations, nor can you use strong measures with them, being under an obligation to them;…

You have enemies. Get used to the idea. The second somebody said “yes” to your project it meant saying “no” to a dozen others. Those projects had their own champions inside the company and, if they’re any good at all, they won’t miss a chance to advance their project at the expense of yours and your reputation. And you can’t expect your own champions to leap to your defense. They’ve already done you a huge favor getting you this far. So what do you do?

…you will always need the favor of the inhabitants to take possession of a province.

Get your name out there and start building your following. This is a real problem for most screenwriters. Novelists understand this much better and are better equipped for it. But before the ink dries on your first contract you should be out there and putting a human face to your words. Whatever your story is, there’s already a huge fanbase out there (otherwise you wouldn’t have made a deal) start giving interviews. Look for fan sites more than screenwriting sites. People who read screenwriting sites are your competition. People who read fan sites are your potential customers. Yeah the whole world is skeptical of social media’s influence. They point to many cases where internet interest didn’t match real interest. Maybe but even if they are skeptical of praise, they’re still terrified of criticism. The Wonder Woman movie essentially bit the dust the moment Joss Whedon was removed from the project. The producers may well have had a script they loved but the Whedonites would have torched it nonstop from the start.

But when dominions are acquired in a province differing in language, laws, and customs, the difficulties to be overcome are great, and it requires good fortune as well as great industry to retain them; one of the best and most certain means of doing so would be for the new ruler to take up residence there.

Once you get the money, move to LA. Yeah it’s expensive but even a first time feature contract is worth a LOT of money. It’ll probably be a few years before you can afford that house in Beverly Hills, but get your behind over to Los Angeles pronto. The language and laws of movieland are unlike anything else that exists. Often the difference between staying on a projecting and being replaced is a few words at a party. Yeah in the past there guys who wrote from Michigan or Wisconsin, but where are they now? The guy who wrote Top Gun never set foot in California and look at the result. Nearly everyone else involved is a household name, Tom Cruise, Don Simpson and Jerry Bruckheimer, Tony Scott. Where’s the screenwriter? Did he get screwed or did he screw himself?

Further, the ruler of a foreign province as described, should make himself the leader and defender of his less powerful neighbors, and endeavor to weaken his stronger ones,…

As I said earlier the writer is in the weakest position at the start of a project. Of all the principal members he’s the one who can be replaced without making any fuss unless he or she has worked to establish a fan following. Nevertheless the writer has made a tremendous gain. He has conquered his own little kingdom and Machiavelli’s advice comes into play. A writer should strive to make himself the friend of the smaller fish in the pond. First there are the fans. Then there the assistants and secretaries that make up a huge part of any production company. These people will one day be producers and execs themselves and believe me, they love it when you buy a round at the bar. Then there are the other members of the production, the DP, the editor, the Unit Production Manager, the Casting Director, the Assistant Director, the other actors. It’s really important to get to know these people. Even if a dozen other writers are called on to the project, make sure you get a set pass and use it. Why? You want to learn everything about the business for one. You want to be able to talk the lingo and have a few stories of your own to tell. Secondly you want to learn how to make a movie. That’s because there’s only one way to weaken a director and that is to become one yourself. The same goes for the producer. In fact you’ll probably add “producer” to your business card right away. Nearly all writers form companies so they don’t get reamed by the IRS. But a real canny writer will use his company for more than just a shelter. He’ll actually learn the ropes of producing and distributing. It’s a lot harder to disentangle an agreement between two companies than to just replace a writer. Above all the writer should be looking to direct his or her feature debut as soon as possible. While you’re at it, make sure to give yourself at least a one line cameo in the film. The smartest thing Tarantino ever did was get in front of the camera, thereby putting a face to his writing and his directing. You come in as a credible producer and director and maybe even as a credible actor you monopolize the project.

Next Week Part 2

The Final Word on the Robin Hood Debacle

2010-06-05T14:28:00.000-07:00

Feels strange calling a film that’s made over $100 million worldwide a debacle, but there it is. The $250 million epic might not break even and there’s certainly not going to be any Oscar love for this Russell Crowe/Ridley Scott project. And while I think Gladiator is one of the most overrated Oscar winners of all time (it’s 200 AD, people drop dead from disease all the time, but Commodus can’t poison Maximus and be done with it?) but what’s really getting all the attention, at least in film blogging circles, is the screenplay and how that was butchered.

Claude Brodesser-Akner has excellent piece in the NY Times Magazine detailing all the changes of fortune. To sum up Cyrus Voris and Ethan Reif, creators of Sleeper Cell, came up with a script called Nottingham which was Robin Hood from the perspective of the Sheriff of Nottingham. It combined the costume swashbuckler with elements of crime procedurals, CSI: Middle Ages.

I’ll just go over some of the most important points from the article:

Most studios and producers immediately passed on the Nottingham script when it hit their in-boxes in January 2007. It was set in the twelfth century (expensive!), it wasn’t based on a toy, board game, or action figure (Robin who?), and so far, it had no big-name talent interested.

This fits with everything I’ve heard about the spec market. Budget matters to the big guys. If you’re a new writer or even an established pair like Voris and Reif, they’re still looking for a reason to say “no.” If your story needs castles, costumes and hundreds of extras, that a pretty big reason to say “no.”

But four days after the spec script went out — an eternity in Hollywood development — it caught fire:

Here’s where Voris and Reif’s world differs from mine. Four days isn’t that long for a new writer. Four WEEKS isn’t that long. I can’t imagine how many screenwriters read that article and became paranoid that they didn’t get the phone call 24 hours later. If they called back faster than that I’d be wondering if they actually read the damn thing.

By the next Monday, Crowe had read the Nottingham script and attached himself as the Sheriff.

This reveals the big truth in Hollywood. Stars and directors are where the power lies. Never forget that writers. You’re not safe unless an A-Lister has your back, and even then it’s not a sure thing. Crash got made because Don Cheadle loved the script and got his friends to sign on. If you’re really interested in protecting the material, get an actor or director on your side.

Interviewed in the Sunday Times of London in April of this year, Scott told a reporter that the original premise was “fucking ridiculous” and that “you’d end up spending 80% of the publicity budget explaining why it was Nottingham and not just Robin Hood.”

Scott’s going to get a lot of hate from writers for this one and rightfully so. I’m going to go slightly against the grain and say he’s not entirely wrong. I have a hard time picturing Nottingham as a HUGE tentpole picture. It strikes me a smaller more modest budget effort where the production values aren’t going to drown out the nuance. The higher the budget goes, usually the more simple the script becomes. See Avatar as example A.

So again, for those keeping score: As the cameras rolled, Stoppard was rewriting Helgeland's rewrite of Webb's rewrite of Helgeland's rewrite of Voris and Reif's original script, which started out with the complete inverse of the present concept.

Now let’s be clear, this situation ISN’T new. And if we’re being honest the screenwriters of Hollywood aren’t against it. The established screenwriters encourage this kind of behavior. Helgeland probably could have stopped everything and saved everyone a lot of dough by saying “This is a great story. You’d be nuts to not want to shoot it.” But that would have meant passing up his own big paycheck. Certainly the Guild isn’t going to object to a system that results in paydays for FIVE different writers. The career goal of most writers now is to be the Helgeland, the Webb or the Stoppard. To be the guy called in to “clean up the mess.”

Finally don’t feel too bad for Voris and Reif. They got their payday. They have story by credit on a summer blockbuster. And the way things work, they’re next deal will be north of 1.5 million. If they really want to see their story in the big screen, better turn it into a novel and hope it becomes a bestseller.

Script Coverage Way Back Machine

2010-05-23T10:00:00.000-07:00

Looking through some of the coverage I’ve done over the years I’ve picked out some doozies to share. This should give you an idea of what to expect. Script readers can come from anywhere. They range from studio readers who are unionized and VERY well compensated to unpaid interns. It’s a wide variety of people and we’re often given a wide variety of scripts to read. Here’s a sampling of coverages past. As in Dragnet, names have been changed to protect the innocent. I’m sharing these so you’ll have a better idea what the process is like. Once again these are from years back and NOT any recent scripts I have read.

THE BAD

When you’re doing coverage for a production company you don’t mind a bad script. In fact you’re kind of relishing it. That’s because your coverage isn’t going to the reader so you can really cut loose. Here’s my comment section for a vampire story I read.

This is THE worst script I’ve read for XXX. The writer has no clue what he’s doing at all. Everything right down to the formatting is wrong. The entire script is one 125 page long first act. It’s not a stand alone story….. The story starts off not bad, just cliched, introducing the archeological dig and DRACULA in prison. But DRACULA talks exactly like Yoda. Even Yoda can’t talk like Yoda anymore without it sounding stupid. The scene shifts to CROCKET and TUBBS and it quickly goes downhill. Even though they’re on stakeout they go into a dialogue scene that lasts 6 2/8 pages, during which everything is spelled out about their characters; the fact that they’re foster brothers, that TUBBS has no faith left in human kind, yadda yadda.…. CALDERONE’S present turns out to be some kind of spell book called the Kobe. Yeah as in Lakers’ forward. Forgetting the name for a moment, even though this book appears to be important it’s about to completely disappear along with CALDERONE until page 100! The gun battle that follows is drawn out and mostly meaningless. The story hasn’t really begun. This has nothing to do with DRACULA, why bother? Afterwards the boys are finally put on DRACULA’S trail. They start looking over the shattered prison and reviewing his case file on page 58! Something they should have done by page 10! By page 70 they’re just beginning to follow his trail of corpses. Finally after a needlessly expensive chase they finally meet DRACULA and learn he’s more than human at page 87! It’s taken the writer the length of a regular movie to get to what could be considered the first act break. From then on it’s a lot of talk until the big fight at the end which isn’t really the end. The writer apparently doesn’t know that even though its part of a trilogy, each film has to be its own, COMPLETE story.

Ah classic. This was an easy case of the writer not thinking much beyond his concept. But that’s really a softball. When a writer forgets every part of the story it’s easy. It’s harder when the writer has some talent and experience. Here’s one, a thriller, that actually showed some promise.

Not a bad mystery. Just not anything great. A real problem is that we never get to know JACK or JILL. I have no idea what JACK is normally like or JILL. They're nothing but victims from the word go. I guess this is supposed to make them sympathetic, but the results are more pathetic than sympathetic. The whole screenplay feels a little light. Like there's not as much material as 116, it's just formatted wrong…The mystery itself and the detective work were merely serviceable. Nothing outstanding was added to the genre. So in short, bland characters, bland storyline, no reason to go any further.

A little harsh maybe, the writer did have some good points, but he failed in the Holy Trinity of script coverage, Character, Plot, and Concept. At least ONE has to be better than good before a reader would even consider giving it a CONSIDER. Of the three character is probably the one I most notice when I’m reading. Take this PASS on a thriller that actually won an award.

I nearly gnawed off my own leg to get through this one. Just awful. The entire story consists of three very annoying people constantly yammering at each other. Every little detail is hashed out and ridiculed over and over again. Nothing much happens until the final chase at page 100. Who’s going to stick around that long?

Bottom line, I’m taking several hours out of my life to read this script. I want to spend it with characters I at least find interesting.

THE NOT BAD

In my younger days I was actually quite forgiving. I handed out a lot of CONSIDERS back then. Surprisingly I still became the favored reader at this company. CONSIDERS are really and usually handed out to high concept stories. In those days I was more interested in writer quality. Here’s a comedy that feature Elvis Presley.

A lot of style and a lot of humor in the opening. This is a wild ride through 1950's Memphis at first. Unfortunately it gets a little predictable with the crazy scheme in the middle. Then after BORIS, whose a great villain, gets killed the script almost completely stops dead in its tracks. Oh there’s plenty to be resolved, but without BORIS menacing presence there’s just no urgency. Towards the end this felt a little bit like an I Love Lucy skit…Basically the last 30 pages have to be completely redone. But this is a quirky ride and might be worth the trip.

Sometimes style can get you points. But the secret with that story was the writer created great characters, he just let the engine of his story die 30 pages too soon. Then there was this, a Rom-Com set in an Evangelical Church.

Not that bad really. ROMEO and JULIET are nice characters that you can root for. On top of that the writer manages to have some pretty good pratfalls and gross out humor. There's a scene with LUCY hiding in a trash can that would do the Faralley Brothers proud…The plot pretty much follows Rom-Com 101, with the meet cute, the build up, leading to the Misunderstanding and reconcile. I do like the church forum idea used in the resolution. That feels new. The only thing is it could use more. More jokes, more pratfalls, maybe a little more tension. Things are a little too easy for ROMEO and JULIET. She's already quit the strip club…The author's on the right track. Just needs a little more oomph and it's a nice piece of niche market comedy that has good cross over potential.

I use that word a lot in my CONSIDERS “oomph.” There’s no better word to describe it. A story exists to give you certain things, scares in a thriller, laughs in a comedy, thrills in an adventure. And how big are those laughs, scares, thrills. You want somebody to pay you a million dollars for your script you’d better be providing more than a few chuckles. Now these things are at least a little bit subjective, especially jokes which often depend on delivery. But that’s why they say death is easy compared to comedy.

Then there’s the ending. A good beginning will get a reader’s attention but a poor ending can snatch defeat from the jaws of victory.

Talk about your blown endings. Up until the last five pages this writer had me. It wasn’t formatted correctly but that was okay. A few typos but that was okay. I thought the writer should all caps the sounds that POE was obsessing about. But it was a really great thriller, almost Foreign in its approach. You really couldn’t tell if POE was on to something or if he was going crazy. But then the ending. Nothings happens! POE’s obsessed, MARY SHELLY’s scared, and BLOCH’s looking at life in prison. Not to mention there’s a stuffed dead girl in the bedroom. Something is going to happen! That they’d all just forget about everything and move on is by far more ludicrous than even the most lame action scene. With a different ending I’d recommend this script without reservations. But I have a suspicion the writer won’t give another ending for “artistic” reasons.

THE GOOD

I think only gave two real full throated RECOMMENDs to screenplays during this time period. At the time I pegged both as small indie films which I realize now was a mistake. Even small production companies want to think big. I don’t think I was budget conscious and it wouldn’t have made a difference since the biggest budget projects I read were also the worst. Maybe it’s just because the qualities that make a script shine really have nothing to do with money and the screenplays would be great if you made them for ten cents.

The first was a drama/comedy centering around a teenage boy.

This is damn good. This writer knows drama. There is a large cast of characters each one exceptional. It's full of great scenes. It starts a little slow and little confusing because there are so many characters and it's a little difficult to get all the relationships squared away. But once you do, it's a great story. Funny, genuinely touching and ultimately very powerful. You don't really blame JOE for wanting to believe SAM which is the key to this whole story. So when it all comes apart you were expecting it, all you can feel is pity for these two characters who just can't deal with the world. The ending needs to be a little bigger. Needs to end with them kissing or embracing like at the end of Garden State. This has the potential to be a real indie gem. It's got a quirky cast of characters to rival the American Pie movies and emotional impact of a Sideways or a Garden State. A real find.

The second was a little stranger involving a mysterious item.

Sort of like Shamaylan only instead of a stupid, tacked on "twist" ending, we have an emotional, unbearably tense finale with hardly any "action" in the traditional sense. FRANK goes to sleep. MARY tries to wake him. He doesn't wake up immediately. We fear the worst. Then he finally pops awake. The story starts slow but the writer does a great job fleshing out each member of the MARY'S family and their friends. You really feel like you know them when the craziness starts. There are some problems. We never learn how MARY went from "modern day saint" to back to normal. MRS. SMITH is such an important character but we never meet her until the final act. This is not a typical story. But it works so incredibly well. This would be a tremendous indie, like Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind or Sixth Sense.

Good characters and good story. When everything’s working you get the recommend even if there are a few quibbles.

What to Worry About

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DO: Worry about the story. Is it entertaining? That’s the big question. Never ever give them a reason to put your screenplay down because you never know when they’ll pick it up again. If everything else goes wrong, a great story can still save your ass.

DO: Worry about the logline/pitch. Having an entertaining story is great. Having an entertaining story that you can easily sell, that’s gold. The next big hurdle after learning how to write well is learning how to write something that other people will actually pay money for. And it’s not about collecting a bunch of adjectives or using active voice. It’s about those few sentences that paint a visual, dramatic picture that is unlike anything else out there. I wish it were true that any well written story were automatically sellable but it isn’t. Quite often these scripts are exceptionally well done versions of movies we’ve already seen countless times or things so far off the grid there’s no point of reference.

DO: Worry about the characters. Usually a compelling story and a great logline means you have great characters, but it isn’t always so. Characters are the doorway into your script. People follow characters, they sympathize even love them. And they are a real benchmark for a writer’s talent. Do you produce flesh and blood three dimensional characters or fall back on well worn archetypes and clichés?

DO: Worry about the dialogue. Great dialogue writers are the ones who get all the ink and all the attention. They’re the ones who get the nominations, who the A List actors want to work with. They’re the ones who get called in when a tentpole script “just isn’t working.” Your dialogue should sound like real life only better. It should be what people wished they said. It’s never “realistic” but it could be performed realistically. It’s not an easy skill to acquire which is why it’s so sought after.

DO: Worry about the basic formatting of the script. Right format, right font size, right spacing and margins, right use of headings, tags and slug lines. It’s so easy now with all the screenwriting software that does all this for you. You don’t want to look like an amateur. This is probably the last thing you should be really concerned about but it’s the first thing readers notice and it will mark you at the beginning as either someone to take seriously or not.

DON’T: Worry about the advanced bells and whistles in Final Draft or the other programs. Most of those are for pre-production. Case in point scene numbers. There shouldn’t be any scene numbers on a spec script. Scene numbers are for the unit production manager when he’s preparing a budget and schedule. If you’re not in pre-production there shouldn’t be any numbers.

DON’T: Worry about every little head tilt or intake of breath your characters make. That’s for the actor to decide with the director. Some writers have a nasty habit of directing their character down to the millimeter. This not only wastes space but it also is used as a cover for dialogue or scenes that may be a little flat. If you’ve done your job then all the drama should be in the scene with you having to circle and underline everything. The actors should be able to get the spine of the scene and build accordingly.

DON’T: Do the director’s job either. Unless you’re going to direct yourself stay out of the director’s chair. Let the DP do his thing. Ditto the editor and all the others. Maybe the director thinks it’s better to open with an in depth staging shot rather than a quick cutting montage. Maybe a long tracking shot is required instead of a Dutch Angle. Again this wastes space in a script and often covers up dull or uninteresting writing. Give them the important elements in a scene, the mood and the feeling, give them the components of a montage but leave how they are conveyed to the people doing the shooting.

MAYBE: Worry about the budget. This is dependent on the kind of screenplay you’re writing because with certain genres part of the appeal is the low production costs like Rom Coms and horror. So if you’re writing a Rom Com it’s probably a bad move to dump the characters on a crowded ocean liner then have it sink. Action movies, science fiction and historicals command the higher budgets. You should feel free to go wild there.