Ok, I know I haven't posted in awhile…here.  Been quite busy over at the new site, You, Simplified.  I've been playing around with a Flip MINO camcorder recently and did a few videos of the kids.  Turns out that the babies don't do much when they know the camera's on them.

But…at least you get to see some full motion video of them.  This first video is of Noah doing…umm…I donno.

The second video is mom wearing an authentic Scribe for the Tribe t-shirt and showing how well Ms. Bella stands and chews on human appendiges. And, the frantic sounds in the background are Noah, minus his blood pressure meds (seriously, the kid's on Norvasc).

And finally, Mr. Owen being fed green shyt (very poorly) by yours truly. And guess who's going nuts in the background without his blood pressure meds?

Owen, Noah (Vomit Action Shot) and Bella on Halloween

Okay, just realizing that it's been nearly two months since I've done an update on the babies, which makes me derelict in my blogging duties, but I assure you we've been busy around here.

Mr. Noah came home from the hospital on the god awful formula that smelled like fermenting potatoes (I suspect it also tasted like fermenting potatoes) and we went thru several weeks of hell where he crapped six times daily and he wasn't all together happy about the process.  While being regular is good for one's mood, there is certainly a case of taking it too far.

He also wasn't putting any weight on with that junk and the three hour feeds were making us miserable.   So we were happy a few weeks back when they finally put him on the same formula as his brother.  Within a week, he was doing so much better, and was really putting on weight.  Were it not for his unusually large cranium, his body would all but be caught up in size.  He is absolutely adorable and I love him even when he's screaming bloody murder at 2am every night and waking up the other kids (yes, really, every night).

Noah and Bella, Appetizers before Dinner

It's really amazing, Noah can fit both his hands in his mouth.  Bella tries to but Noah really has a big mouth.

Ms. Bella is our little star, and with that, sometimes the primadonna.  She amazes me everyday with her vocalizations already.  You can really see that she is trying to learn to talk by watching mom and dad (Note to self, now is the time for me to strike the "F" word from my vocabulary).  Her body strength is amazing too, and she was the first to coordinate both of her hands to grab at toys above her head.  She seems to be hitting every development milestone a little faster than the boys.

She has absolutely the most beautiful smile when you play with her.  Unfortunately, every time we try to take a picture she puts on her best Mona Lisa smile.  Of course, she can crank with the best of them too and it seems that mom is the only one who can regularly get her to calm down.  Nobody said it would be easy.

Bella at Tummy Time

The picture of Bella above is actually a couple of weeks old, and she now regularly raises her head when on her tummy.  The boys aren't quite there with this yet.

I'll end with a short note on Mr. Owen.  He's now the biggest of the babies and is really growing so well.  We were finally permitted to take him off his heart rate monitor last week, so that was a tremendous milestone for us.  One picture of him below, and that's it for this week's update.

Owen - Ummm...I didn't dress him

I just launched a new blog that is more focused on life simplification principals over at You, Simplified.   The scope of things here at Scribe for the Tribe was a bit too broad.  I'll still update this site on a semi-regular basis with updates on the babies but most of my other self-interest articles will go on the new blog. 

I've been spending my free cycles over the last four weeks working on writing my first eBook online.  It was meant as a means to put together a few great ideas on Life Simplification and then offer to would-be subscribers here and at You, Simplified, but since I can't seem to find a clean way to offer it up via Feedburner, and I'm loathe to try a new-to-me service like AWeber, I've just linked it off the new, simple, Downloads page on the main You, Simplified site.  Please check it out and sign up for email alerts for when new articles are published.

The Book is called, aptly, "You, Simplified – Handbook for a Simpler Life."

It's a free eBook, running at 11,000 words and 53 pages.  I cover five main topics in the book as follows:

1.  Life Design 101 – Learn how to create a clear picture of the life you want, the life you were meant to live.  Then engage in the steps necessary to clear your current life of distractions to let your new life in.

2.  Simplify Your Stuff – Do not have anything around your home that is not either beautiful or extremely useful.  You'll learn some techniques to clean up your home.

3.  Simplify Your Commitments – Everyone has 24 hours in a day.  How you spend them determines whether you will reach your goals or not.

4.  Simplify Your Health – It can be hard to fit in regular exercise, but it really takes surprisingly little to get you into functional shape.

5.  Simplify Your Finances – Most people stay in the rut that they are in because they need the money.  Structure your finances in a way that will allow you to pursue your passions.

Last, but certainly not least, I've had the good fortune of having an article published today over at a terrific blog called Balance in Me.  Please show some link love and head over there to check it out, "6 Life-Changing Lessons Learned in 6 Months of Raising 3 Babies."

I promise a baby update by this Wednesday.  Thanks for reading and take care.

- Papa Charley

There's a terrific post up over at Illuminated Mind that's inspiring this article laid out before you.  While I don't always agree with the author, Jonathan Mead, the fact is that he nearly always stirs an emotion in me and that's what makes brilliant and effective writing. 

In his article, The Number One Self-Development Mistake, And the Fake Growth Addict, I saw much of myself in both the positive AND negative pictures he was working to paint. 

I am that seeker of knowledge who, for the last twenty years of my life (damn, I'm getting old) I have been pour through book after book of "esoteric" knowledge to try and "fix" me.  But "fix" implies that I'm broken, that there's something seriously wrong with me, and that I'm unhappy with my current state.

This is sad, really sad.

I have a dream life by many standards.  I have a terrific, well-paying job in a shytacular economy, I own several rental properties, have no consumer debt otherwise, have a beautiful wife and three beautiful, young babies.  I have some talent and aptitude for writing and making music and I get true joy out of sharing this with the world.

Yet somehow I feel like I'm still broken, that I need to be fixed. 

In this way, I am Jonathan's prototypical Fake Growth Addict.

I was trying to cure an invisible illness: my perceived inadequacy.

That inadequacy is a myth driven by the ego, and has nothing to do with real growth.

Yeah, that's me.  I've read enough books on spirituality to logically understand the concept that we are already whole and complete beings.  While the ego leads to some fun and rewarding pursuits, it really is hollow and we need to realize that.  Happiness is not found in the pursuit of a worthy goal.  Happiness just "is."  It is a state that you can decide to be in, just as you elect to be angry, sad, or otherwise. 

Jonathan's list of his own brushes with fake growth are what really resonated with me and wanted me to write an article "publicly" announcing my own foolish pursuits of personal growth:

• The pursuit of learning to be an early riser.  I hate the early morning, but it's a rite of passage for the self help industry.  You should hear me when I have to get up for the 4am feedings of the babies.  I'm positively grouchy and I hate every minute of it.  If I didn't have to do it for the babies, I wouldn't.  I'd much rather stay up late into the wee hours of the morning to get my writing done in solitude. 
• Reading a book just because other's claim the author is brilliant and life-changing.  I really hated reading Eckhart Tolle, Wayne Dyer and especially Deepak Chopra.  I find their style of writing unbearable, yet they are all brilliant men with a brilliant message, but I have never, and will likely never, finish a book of theirs.  I haven't the patience to force my way thru to the message.  I'd much rather read Paulo Coelho.  Even on the fiction side, my reading sessions were quite brief of the Pulitzer Prize winning book, "The Brief, Wondrous Life of Oscar Wao."  Another blogger I highly respect recommended the book but it's page after page of drivel about some poor, overweight kid trying to get laid.  I abandoned it after 70 pages.  Maybe this makes me an idiot; so be it.  Let me revel in the perfection that is my idiocy.
• I actually feel like I've been conned by the number of times I've bought music that was highly recommended to expand my horizons, and then got nothing out of it except anger and regret from wasting another $15 on a useless piece of plastic.  I used to feel stupid because I didn't "get it."
• I've tried to go Vegan a few times in my adulthood but man, I really like chicken wings.  I live in Buffalo after all.  I'm not adverse to trying again in the future, but I will hopefully come to it knowing that if I "fall off the wagon" that doesn't mean I'm a failure.
• Etc., Etc., Etc.

This is where self-improvement becomes detrimental, particularly when you're working from an Ego-centric model.  For each of those examples above, I felt like a failure when I was unable to complete or sustain the effort.  This inevitably made me feel worse than before I had the idea to try the pursuit or read the book.  To combat that failure feeling, I would then rush out to find the next quick fix for my broken self.

I've had numerous false starts lately in my 100 Item Challenge and also in finishing up my book.  These are not true failures.  They are experiments, and if I fail to follow through each time, so be it.  I may eventually find that the endeavor is not worth it.

I've heard it said numerous times that the way to ingrain a habit is to practice it for a few weeks straight.  Well, I've done this before numerous times, and then fallen off the wagon some months later.  So be it.  Maybe the motivation to really do that "thing" wasn't strong enough.  Maybe I was only doing that thing because I thought that's what an enlightenment person would do.  It's more enlightening to realize that this might not be true. 

So what's the answer?

If I'm able to recognize when I am being ego-centric in my self-development, then I can often divest myself of the feelings of inadequacy.  It is better to approach life as a human, being; meaning that I am a spiritual being who's chosen to manifest as a human, experiencing and being all that I can reasonably experience.  I'm here to learn, and that may mean learning by failure.  I'm here to share my gifts and to experience other people's gifts.  There is no true failure in this pursuit except for not "being," not trying.

Droid

So I'm a bit of a gadget guy. Not hardcore, mind you, but I am enamored with gadgets that perform multiple functions (especially as I prepare for my 100 Item Challenge).

This past weekend my Verizon contract was up for renewal and with that they give us discounts on new phones. My philosophy on new phones in the past has been to get the tiniest, least conspicuos phone and so I had been toting around a little Juke for the last two years.

But now with the proliferation of Smart Phones I was intrigued by the release of Verizon's Motorola Droid. A gadget that acts as my phone, mp3 .player, browser, financial planner, book reader, and now blogging software means that it wins its way into my 100 Item List (and is arguably quite handy for my simple living sensibilities).

I'm using the Google App "wpToGo" to write this post. It can handle text, inserting of pictures and tags/categories. While it's not a fully functional Wordpress dashboard, it does the necessary to be able to blog on the run.

Yes, my thumbs hurt from typing but my skill level is still novice on a mobile keyboard.

Anyway, just a short post for today to test out this software. I'm. working on a nice long post inspired by Jonathan over at Illuminated Mind.

I've written recently about my desire to slow down and let change happen.  Part of that post contained the following text:

Absorbing and regurgitating self-help books at lightening speed is like taking a sip from a fire hose.

I do truly believe that enlightenment can be found in books, but unless it is applied in a practical nature, it is going to be fleeting, at best.

So, I've been journaling on what the most effective methods would be for getting the most out of my reading experience and decided that I would share some of my thoughts on the subject.

Read Less, But Read Regularly

Now, if you don't read at all, "Read Less" is not very helpful advice.  But if you are a voracious reader like myself, you may find stepping back a bit to be helpful to your ability to retain more information.

I am trying to scale things back by 50% (not just in reading, but life in general).  Over the last five years, I've averaged about thirty self-help books a year, with a couple of novels mixed in.  I am probably on the low side of many readers out there.  I also had a nasty habit of reading several books at once due to my varied interests.

I am making a goal one self-help book a month.  And it becomes a To Do item with a due date.

The other important point here is to make it a regularly scheduled part of your day to read.  It can be as little as fifteen minutes, but probably should not be more than an hour if you have other important tasks that need to get done.

This being November 1st, I am dedicating this month to Do Less, Achieve More by Chin-Ning Chu.  I will provide my notes on this book sometime early in December, provided the book passes the next step.

Don't Waste Your Time on Books that Don't Interest You

There's a reason why the number one rule for writers is to hook the reader immediately.  If you find yourself thirty to forty pages into a book and you're not sure why your reading this, then put it down and go onto something else.  Life is too short to waste your time on books that aren't interesting.

Sure, we've all run into an instance where we've broken this rule and been rewarded with a truly great read in the end.  I remember one particular summer after college where I persevered through Atlas Shrugged despite how dry it was early on, but it also so happened to be a time in my life when I was out of work and had plenty of time to blow.

Use your own judgement here, as with everything, but there are so many thousands of great books out there that you don't need to waste your time through something that may end up being sub-standard.

The corollary to this is that you should spend some time finding an interest first and therefore be in tune with what you want to learn.

Take Notes

Some folks like to write notes in the margins of the book.  All the power to you, to each their own, yada yada yada.

I'm partial to my Moleskine journal, specific to the purpose of writing down the best stuff that I learn.  I've always said that my journals are the most valuable books I own.

I suggest you don't just take notes like you would as a student for a test.  Write down your thoughts and feelings about the material that you're reviewing.

This is as critical a piece to the learning process as is the actual reading of the books.  That means you should take a few minutes, after each block of time reading to do this task.  I actually prefer to take the notes as I read.

Really get into this, noting how the material can help you achieve your dreams and goals.  If you're unable to find the value of the material than you should go back to Step 2 and really consider whether the book is worth your time.

Put It to The Test

Okay, now that you've put this much work in, don't let it die a slow death in the recesses of a dusty, withering (or is it weathering?) journal.  Take three to four weeks to put the material to use in your own life.  Better yet, make the whole month your trial as you read the book.

Document your life experiment as you go.

Treat your life as an experiment.  Even when you think you've got it, don't just relax into your comfort zone.  We are here to grow, to learn and to share.

Share Your Experiences

Yeah, this really is the final test.  You've learned it, you've applied it, now try and teach it.  The best way to show you've learned something and flatter an author is to write about your experiences.  If you blog, write an article about it, or write a review on Amazon…something more personal than "I really liked this book."  You can even mentor someone else with your new found skills.

Yes, this is a lot more work than blitzing through one book after another, but it's also more effective and you may find that you won't yearn for the next great secret in the pages of another book (I too, am guilty as charged).

I've decided to make my book reading experience more valuable to me and hopefully to my readers.  I will be putting these steps into practice each month and share it as a more personal, hands-on type of book review.  Like everything here at Scribe For The Tribe, the triplets set the schedule (Noah is in charge for November…which means no schedule) but I will try to get them in once a month.

On an unrelated note, November is National Novel Writer's Month where writers from all over the place come together and throw out the inner critic to whip together 50,000 or more words in thirty days to make a first draft of a novel.  I've participated in this for each of the last five years, but due to the three new babies, I've taken a pass at it this year.  It's great fun (if you consider pounding out an average of 1667 words a day fun) so do check in out at NaNoWriMo.

I feel like I’ve lost a lot of momentum lately, like I’m half the person I was a few weeks ago.  My spiritual mojo is shot lately.  My will to do things is there, but the energy and time is not.

It troubled me and I meditated on it a bit while feeding my son, Noah this morning.  I’ve been irritable, prone to angry outbursts and saying things that I don’t mean.  In all honesty, I’ve thought several times recently whether this was all worth it.  I realize my honesty will open me up to criticism, but this is my public sounding board so I accept it.

I felt like the children were taking up too much time and energy (all of it), and my day job of managing large-scale projects was draining my reserves.  My ego-driven psycho-babble self was feeling resentful that I’ve had to give up a great many enjoyable tasks (music, writing, exercise etc.) already.

As a general rule, I don't want to become another example of a generation living only to support the next generation and so I felt threatened when my dreams were put on hold yet again.

I’m not proud of any of this.  I’m far from being a perfect person, and while I feel a little better admitting this, I still need to address it and fix it (i.e. get the Ego to take a back seat).

So as I sat with Noah, feeding him, staring at his big, beautiful eyes, admitting my imperfections and vowing for the one hundredth time that I would do better, I figured out what's been happening.

My brain doesn't know what to do with all of this yet.

It's all new, all the sensations, the stress, the belief that every triplet's cry is a screeching firedrill, that the success of a work project rests solely on my shoulders.  It's blowing out my comfort zone and until my brain can burn the new neural pathways to handle this, I have to admit that I will keep making mistakes, that I will continue to be an irritable, pathetic mess, and that my wife and children are saints for putting up with me.

This is why I haven't the energy to write more than a few scattered words, to embrace the challenges at work with continuity, to handle the stresses of screaming babies with grace and patience.

It's times like these when you have to stop forcing it.

Let the brain build the neural pathways so that new actions and new  habits can be ingrained.

Absorbing and regurgitating self-help books at lightening speed is like taking a sip from a fire hose.  Your brain adapts at its own speed and despite what the Law of Attraction proponents say otherwise, it may take you longer to adapt than it would the next person.  It make take a lot longer to adapt than you can process information.

That's okay.

I'm realizing that it's not a race between me and "X blogger" to see who can put out a book or who can get to 5,000 subscribers first.

You should be focusing on creating the best "you," not a poor facsimile of someone else.

It's in these moments I am reminded of the wisdom of detachment, in passively viewing as you let your life unfold naturally rather than forcing every particular technique and life hack (no disrespect to lifehack.org, I am a fan) into your routine.  You may seek success, but take the time to understand, apply, and integrate the new thoughts and processes.  Don't just jump onto the next great thing.

So, for me, that means slowing down a bit, letting the new habits of parenthood burn their pathways into my brain first, since they are the most important.  Then from there, evaluate to see if I am ready for the next area of growth, whatever that may be.

I've spoken about slowing down several times lately, but the Ego keeps creeping in to try to push me to the next level.  While I would love to be a full time blogger/writer so that I can stay home and be a better parent/husband to my kids and wife, I need to focus first on the be the better parent/husband part, then worry about the other goals later…and most importantly, I need to be okay with that decision…and that's the hardest part.

Noah (left) Getting the Stare-down from Bella and Owen

I missed the normal Three for Thursday write-up this week because we were told that Noah would be coming home on Friday and I didn't want to jinx anything, since we had several go-home dates come and go on Owen.

I am pleased to say that Noah did in fact come home late yesterday afternoon so now our Children's hospital phase is over.

I can't say enough good things about Women and Children's of Buffalo and the NICU area.  Despite a few bumps along the way, we got wonderful care and the fact is, they saved the lives of our three babies.  For that, I am truly thankful.

Noah's not coming home without his challenges.  His torso looks like he's been in a drive-by shooting with all the scars.  Five new ones from the double hernia surgery, as it turns out.

Noah Giving me the Finger

He looks sickly and tiny compared to the other two.  At 7lbs 3oz, he's actually lost weight in the last week and we commented that he looks like one of those poor babies you see on the commercials for poverty-stricken countries.  It's heart-wrenching for us, but at least we know that we have more resources available to us that those other poor children do not.

He's not up to full-feeds yet, so I was a bit surprised that they sent him home.  He eats about 60% what the others do and he's on five oral meds, including a new one added after we got home when the hospital called us to tell us he tested positive for another bladder infection, his fifth by my count.

He didn't sleep well his first night, which means we didn't sleep well.  It's to be expected, but I feel bad for him.  He whimpered most of the night and apart from when we held him for the over night feeds, he was largely inconsolable.  He's currently sitting in a swing behind me now and still whimpering.  It's all new to him, and he'll come along.  We're more worried about nursing him back to health.

Noah - Note the tiny arms and legs and the giant scar across his Belly.

The other two babies are both well over 8lbs and Bella looks like she's the furthest along.  She looks twice the size of Noah and is already teething.  This makes her quite cranky, as I've said before, and as such, she's not quiet very often.

Owen seems unphased by it all.  When we put them all on the blanket for the first picture above, we then took to attending and feeding the other two with my wife's aunt Robin being at the house.  And Owen just stayed on the blanket for over an hour without much complaint.

Each baby is on different Formula and Noah's has to be special ordered at $30 a can.  I spent over $120 on meds yesterday (just for Noah and that's with Insurance) and spend about $500 on formula a month.  Couple that with over a hundred a month on diapers and I've come to the conclusion that babies are expensive (understatement).

So what happens from here?

Well, I'll still update the site on the babies from time to time.  It's no longer the focus of the blog.  I've found that I typically only have time to write a couple hundred words here and there at a time, due to the family responsibilities which will ALWAYS come first.

This blog is about what interests me, and while a big part of that is family, it's also metaphysics, religion, simple living, minimalism, productivity, health, finance, poetry, music, and the occasional rant.  It's about mindful living in every facet of my life with lessons that I track for posterity and pass on to anyone who is interested.

I'm still working on a simple living book, which is as much a tool for me and my family as I hope it can be for you.  No, it is not regurgitated information from my blog.  I haven't decided whether it will be an eBook or paperback but I will likely put it out myself rather than spend the time to shop it to publishers and wait several years for one to maybe take an interest and get it out there.

The posting schedule is still a couple of times a week which is quite reasonable given the three new priorities in my life.  I enjoy writing this blog very much and will continue to do it as long as it remains enjoyable.  When I stop enjoying it, I'll shut it down.  I'm pleased that so many of you take time out of your busy schedules to come read this.

My family thanks you for your support during the last five months since the babies were born.

Okay, all apologies but Angry Charley's feathers are ruffled again.  Much of my better writing comes as a result of this so hopefully this is of some value to you, even if it's only for entertainment.

By day I am a project manager for one of the largest companies of its sector in the world.  I work on projects that take multiple years to develop, cost tens of millions of dollars to implement, span multiple countries, and usually involve several project managers, in various countries, with differing grasps of a common language, both on the business and IT side.  Not bragging, just laying out a few credentials so we're clear on where I am coming from.

I'm not just shooting from the hip.

So I get awful tweaked when I see the current trend of articles that admonish multitasking in favor of single-tasking, some written by folks who've never spent a day in a corporate setting.

If you think that it's quite simple to just bow out of meetings, say "no" when your boss puts something on your desk and says it needs to be done by EOB, or give the brush off when coworkers come to you with questions because you're a subject matter expert…etc., I (strongly) suggest that you're out of touch with the Corporate world.

There are ramifications to blowing off people and tasks at work, chief among them being, you'll find, with your new found unpopularity, few will be willing to help you when you need it.

Is this a diatribe in defense of multitasking?

Not so.  In principal I agree, multitasking is less efficient.  Guess what?  Large Corporations are less efficient.

Despite that, I think true multitasking is ill-defined by the average productivity blogger.

I'm not playing semantics, but if you jump from a meeting to writing a report, to firing off a dozen emails, to answering interruptions at your desk, to another meeting, to returning phone calls, to another meeting, you're not multitasking.  You're actually only doing one task at a time.  You're freakin' busy, that's all.

True multitasking is writing your report while you're sitting on a teleconference, during which time one of the attendees will inevitably ask you a question and you'll respond with, "sorry can you repeat that?"  You weren't paying attention and now you're wasting everyone's time.

True multitasking is screwing around with your Crackberry while you should be paying attention to a meeting that you are actually in attendance for.  Everyone there can see you screwing around with your Crackberry even when you try to hide it under the table.

True multitasking is ploughing through your email while you're cramming a sandwich down your pie-hole during the five minutes that used to be called the one-hour lunch.  Guilty of that on a daily basis.

Again, you're just damn busy and you don't need a lecture on single-tasking versus multitasking.  You need focus while still being a team player.

Blogging advice about blowing off meetings is great unless you're an integral part of a project or a subject matter expert.  Then you come off like a dyck for not respecting the importance that others may attribute to the subject of the meeting.

Cutting your emails down to three or four sentences is great unless you're trying to answer an important and complex question or giving requirements for a project.  Then when your recipient doesn't understand what you wrote because you couldn't be bothered to explain yourself, let's see how many emails go back and forth before every one is clear.

Take the couple minutes to be clear with your writing.  Focus on the task at hand.

My passion is writing and my favorite form of communication is the written word, but sometimes a phone call or a quick meeting goes a hell of a lot further than shooting off unclear, three sentence emails.  Then once you have it clear, you can fire off your three sentence email confirming the direction as discussed on the phone call/meeting.  Yeah, it takes longer, but you've focused on the task and gotten it done.

If you're the one sitting around being "not busy" guess what will happen when push comes to shove?  Chances are, you may find yourself out the door.

So what's the solution?  If you want to sit around doing nothing all day, just keep doing what you're doing.  Otherwise, there really isn't one.  You can GTD all you like (not a fan) and get bogged down with your systems so you can't see the forrest for the trees.

You can try to set up blocks of time to do certain tasks but you need to remain flexible.  For example, scheduling 9-10am as eMail hour works so long as no one schedules a meeting during that hour.  Otherwise, move your hour.

And yes, in case you're wondering, you are a dyck if you block that hour on your calendar every day so that no one can schedule anything with you.

Aside from flexibility and going with the flow, the other key is focus.  If you get confused easily and it takes you several minutes to jump from task to task, there may be nothing you can do except try your best to focus quickly on the new task.  The Corporate world isn't going to wait on you while you figure out how to switch gears.

There will be some days that you'll get nothing done on your to do list.  We like to call those weekdays.  So be it.  Amazingly, progress is still made by your company and it really is more about them than it is about you and your GTD lists.  If you think it's only about you, start your own company and hire a bunch of people who think it is only about them.  See how that feels after a few weeks and then leave me a comment.

With that being said, I am going to go back to concentrating on the things in life that I can simplify, those things that won't get me fired, or worse, made the subject of ridicule at the water cooler.

Ok, I'm done ranting.

Namaste.

Bella...Almost Happy?

Each Thursday, for the near future, I give updates on how our baby triplets are doing in the hospital.  They were born May 28th at 27 weeks gestational age.  Bella Marie born 1lb 14oz, Owen Charles born 1lb 14oz, and Noah Anthony born 2lb 4oz.

Tomorrow morning Noah (still in the hospital) will have hernia surgery.  We knew he's needed it for several months and they've told us that this is one of the last steps before he comes home.  Terrific news for us, and we're cautiously optimistic.  The kids will be five months old very soon and we feel that we're missing out on some very important development time with Noah that we will never get back.

It's very hard with the two at home.  I haven't seen Noah in nearly two weeks, and Nikki has been able to get up there a couple of times.  But with Owen on the heart-rate monitor, we can't really let anyone babysit him unless they've gone through the infant CPR class and are taught how to work the monitor. 

Owen - Easy Like a Sunday Morning

I don't get to see my wife very much either.  I work all day and then I come home to have a quick dinner with my wife and we try to get her to go to bed soon after while I watch the kids.  I'll watch them and get their feeds in till about 1:00am and then Nikki takes over again.

When all three are home, it will be tougher.  I imagine that we'll both have to get up for feeds each time, since it takes nearly an hour to feed and hold each baby upright to prevent their Reflux issues from bringing all of the food back up.

If anyone has any tips on how to save time feeding three babies, we'd appreciate it if you could share in the comments below.

There are some tremendously gratifying moments.  I can see and appreciate each of them grow and fill out their clothes.  Owen has gone from a rather scrawny baby to really filling out, particularly in the face over the last week.  The pics in this post are from tonight.  Owen didn't appreciate the flash.

Bella…she cries nearly all the time that she's awake.  At least at night when I am home watching her.  I've been sitting here for three and a half hours now while my wife is sleeping and Bella is crying now as I write.  She's either been crying or sleeping this entire time.  I've taken several breaks while writing this to try to console her.

I don't seem to have the patience for it.  The sound really grates on me and I feel horrible for her as well as for my ability to tolerate it.  The moments are so rare when she is smiling and happy that I really try to appreciate. 

Owen, by contrast, is quite mellow.  He really doesn't cry unless he's starving or if Bella's crying gets him going.  I think this is the hardest for me, trying to deal with her near-constant crying.  Owen has not so much as cried once in this three and a half hour period.  His monitor has gone off a few times, for not breathing often enough, mostly.

The Pediatrician thinks that it's just a problem with the iron supplement she is on and the thick formula preventing her from being regular but she refuses to let us change either.  She also thinks Bella may be teething already.  As such, she's not a very happy baby these days. 

Last night she cried for nearly eight hours straight from 11pm to 7am this morning.  We got no sleep and I expect more of the same tonight with the way she is acting right now.

I just want her to be happy.  And I just want some peace and rest.  And I want to be able to hang out with my wife. 

Yes, I'm whining a bit.  Just a little tired and since I pay for this domain I get to use it as my sounding board. 

In many ways my life has become simpler these last few weeks.  I haven't choices on what to do nor time to spend figuring out what to wear or what to eat.  I often eat on my feet and I throw on whatever is (semi) clean for work in the morning.  I know it's all temporary…this, too, shall pass, and there will be wonderful times coming.  Still trying to figure out the flow.  We'll get there.