I had a harder time than usual narrowing down these movies, mostly because only a handful I was truly impressed by.

1. DEAD POETS SOCIETY (1989)

I don’t even think I can form a coherent thought about this movie without bursting into a puddle of tears, but I’ll try. I had heard of this movie a lot, but I never actually watched it until a little bit after Robin Williams’ death. I was in that “torture myself by watching his old movies to relive his brilliance” stage. And guys, I don’t know why it took me until now to watch it. That was probably one of the best movies I have ever seen (and I’ve seen a lot of movies).

2. ABOUT ALEX (2014)

There are some movies that you watch, and afterwards for whatever the reason, you know it’s going to be a movie that will stick with you for a long time. About Alex was one of those movies for me. I never really had the whole college experience; you know, the big group of friends hanging out and then reuniting after so long. For the most part, I’ve had the same group of friends since elementary school, give or take a few others. But I was still able to connect with this movie. Anyone can, really, if you’ve ever had friends that have drifted apart, or if you’ve ever been the one in the friendship that tries so hard to keep it afloat while everyone else moves on with their lives and you start to feel left behind. I’ve been through this; I’ve felt a lot of the things that Alex has felt, and that’s what made me love this movie. It’s beautifully done and amazingly casted. I’ll admit, I came for Aubrey Plaza and Max Greenfield. But every single character in this movie is so believable and important to the story. The comedy was subtle, not forced, and mixed well with how dark it really all was. Overall, I give this movie five stars, covered in my tears, and I definitely recommend it to anyone who appreciates rare gems such as these.

3. 12 YEARS A SLAVE (2013)

I’m sensing a trend in my movies lately— apparently I keep picking the most heartbreaking ones. This powerful film is bursting with talent and it’s another one that I have a hard time describing just because of how good it was.

4. WHAT IF (2013)

Who ever thought I would watch Daniel Radcliffe in a rom-com? I didn’t but, you know what? I adored it. Now I just wanna throw him and Zoey Kazan together for more movies, because they were so great together it’s ridiculous. This movie was sweet and also hilarious. There are not a lot of romantic comedies that I can say I genuinely loved, but this was one of them.

5. CHALET GIRL (2011)

This was one of those movies I tried out on a whim just because it was on Netflix and I really didn’t have anything else to watch I was in the mood for. The cover was totally cheesy looking like some kind of TV movie with Chuck Bass on the over, but I gave it a shot because I’d chosen the main actress as a face-claim for one of my characters recently. I was pleasantly surprised by how much I actually enjoyed it. Felicity Jones was wonderful to watch— quirky and adorable and amazingly talented. I’ll definitely be checking out more of her movies now. I wouldn’t go as far as to say this was some kind of mind-blowing, magical piece of film, but I thought it was cute and hilarious and great if you’re in the mood for something fluffy.

6. THE MAZE RUNNER (2014)

I thought this was a pretty decent adaptation. It stayed mostly true to the book and it was action packed and all that good stuff. The casting and acting was A+ on all levels. I was a little disappointed that the last couple scenes were changed some— they had the same end result, I suppose, but after having just read the book before watching it, that one scene was fresh in my mind and I would have loved if they had done it that way instead.

7. TWO NIGHT STAND (2014)

Once I saw Miles Teller was in a new movie, I had to at least check this one out. He was excellent in The Spectacular Now, and this one looked a little predictable (as far as rom-coms go) but promising. Analeigh Tipton was great, too, and their chemistry was similar to that of Radcliffe/Kazan in that I really liked them together. Overall, it wasn’t some kind of life-changing romantic comedy, but who says every one of them has to be? It was fun.

8. IF I STAY (2014)

I was also really pleased that this movie stayed so close to the book; there’s always a little bit of worry when one of your favorite novels gets turned into a movie, especially one so big. Fortunately, it was almost exactly like the book, so I think fans of the book will like the movie.

9.  GOD HELP THE GIRL (2014)

This is probably 98% on my list just because the songs are going to be stuck in my head forever. It was a bit strange, but I’m a fan of strange movies and also Emily Browning + the music was really catchy.

10. HICK (2011)

I feel like a lot of people hated this movie, but I actually really enjoyed it? It was chaotic and disturbing, and those can be some of my favorite qualities about a movie (depending on the content). Chloe Grace Moretz was amazing, as usual, and I was really surprised by how well Blake Lively did as well. After so many years of watching her on Gossip Girl, my immediate response was to want to roll my eyes at her, but she actually was really impressive. The characters were interesting and the acting was great.

1.SHORT TERM 12 (2013)

You can read my full review of it here. This movie left me speechless. It was one of the most emotional, powerful movies I’ve ever watched to this day. Brie Larson killed it, and so did everyone else involved.

2. THE FAULT IN OUR STARS (2014)

I really thought they did an excellent job bringing one of my favorite novels to life on the big screen. Shailene and Ansel were the perfect Hazel and Gus, I can honestly say the movie would not have been nearly as good as an adaptation without them in the lead roles. Naturally, I sobbed quietly all thoughout the last half hour or so. I’m afraid to even say anything else about it or I’ll become a blubbering mess again. EVERYTHING IS NOT OKAY.

3. STORIES WE TELL (2012)

I’m not normally a documentary type person. I’ve probably watched a handful in my entire life, but after seeing this, I’ll be watching more in the future. Sarah Polley is a brilliantly talented director and you should definitely make time to see this film.

4. RUBY SPARKS (2012)

Being a writer myself, as soon as I read the sypnosis of this movie. I KNEW I would enjoy it. And I was right. It’s quirky and hilarious and sweet and if you’re a writer (even if you’re not) you’ll probably love this movie. I mean, come on. An author creates a character and writes her literally into existence, something that most of us writers find ourselves wishing was possible from time to time. Or not, depending on what kind of characters you write.

5. HELLION (2014)

This list wouldn’t be complete without an Aaron Paul film (my previous top ten included two of his recent movies, and this one does as well. He’s my favorite actor, I can’t help it). I guess this time around I subconsciously decided to just watch movies that shattered my heart into a million pieces, because this one did a fantastic job of that. Thank you, Kat Candler. To say this movie was intense would be a major understatement. There’s so much craziness and bad decision making going on, and each of the characters just break your heart.

6. A LONG WAY DOWN (2014)

Full review is here. This was one of my most look-forward-to movies of the year and I was really pleased with it. This is exactly why I make a point to ignore negative reviews of something I’m really interested in watching/reading, because everyone has a different opinion about something.

7. TRACKS (2013) 

I was not expecting to like this movie as much as I did. The main character is wonderfully acted by Mia Wasikowska. Some people look down on her as an actress because she’s “bland,” or whatever, but if you put her in the right role, she’ll blow you away. Which is what she does with this movie. Also, there’s one scene in it that had me crying without any warning at all. Well, I knew something was going to happen, but it didn’t make that scene any less tragic.

8. IN YOUR EYES (2014)

CURSE YOU, JOSS WHEDON, CURSE YOU. That’s all I really have to say. Interesting concept; beautifully done.

9. OCULUS (2013)

I was skeptical about this movie— very few horror movies in the past few years have really impressed me (Mama, The Conjuring were a couple I loved). I watched for Karen Gillan, however, I thoroughly enjoyed it as a whole. I loved how it flashed back and forth from past to present to tell the story, and crazy twists are a major “YES PLEASE” in horror movies for me.

10. THE PRETTY ONE (2013)

Yep. A third Zoe Kazan movie makes the list. After watching In Your Eyes, I was sold, and basically marathoned like three of her movies in a day (which are all listed here). Though, it didn’t hurt that Jake Johnson was also in this.

Well, there you have it. I’ve crossed the 200 movie line and there’s just 165 more movies to go until the end!

Rule One—Nothing is right, nothing is wrong.
Rule Two—Be careful.
Rule Three—Fight using your legs whenever possible, because they’re the strongest part of your body. Your arms are the weakest.
Rule Four—Hit to kill. The first blow should be the last, if at all possible.
Rule Five—The letters are the law.

Kit takes her role as London’s notorious “Perfect Killer” seriously. The letters and cash that come to her via a secret mailbox are not a game; choosing who to kill is not an impulse decision. Every letter she receives begins with “Dear Killer,” and every time Kit murders, she leaves a letter with the dead body. Her moral nihilism and thus her murders are a way of life—the only way of life she has ever known.

But when a letter appears in the mailbox that will have the power to topple Kit’s convictions as perfectly as she commits her murders, she must make a decision: follow the only rules she has ever known, or challenge Rule One, and go from there.

From the first time I heard about it, this book seemed exactly like something I would enjoy. I heard it described as a “Dexter” for the young adult crowd, which definitely intrigued me, being a huge fan of the show (before the terrible ending, of course, but that’s a rant for another time). A teenage serial killer. Dark, disurbing. It sounded right up my alley.

Though, the hateful reviews came pouring in from other readers, which made me a little hesitant. Normally, I ignore negative reviews completely, because there have been amazing things (books, movies, shows) I would have missed out on had I listened to those people telling me not to check it out. Sometimes, however, the reviews are pretty spot-on. Sadly, this was one of those times. I’m going to be as brief as possible, because I don’t really enjoy writing negative reviews.

Though I got about 200 pages in with a little over 100 pages left, this was a DNF for me. I normally try to finish all books I start, but… it had a lot of problems. And the main problem that I want to discuss is Kit, the main character. She’s full of herself and constantly bragging about how good she is at killing. She’s the best. She’s perfect. No one is going to catch her. Etc. I’m not a murderer, so maybe that’s just how their minds work, which I can understand. But sometimes it gets to be a little obnoxious. She looks down on everyone, just because she has the power to end their lives. Again, she’s a killer, so her thought process is pretty twisted as it is, but I kept finding myself rolling my eyes anytime she would make these remarks.

She also contradicts herself. A lot. And when I say “a lot” I mean from beginning to end (or, well, as far as I got). She mentions that she doesn’t “relish murder” or “treat it as a game” and yet, she’s always grinning at the thought of a challenge, at the thought of having this “good secret” that no one else knows. I don’t know about you, but it definitely sounds like it’s a game to her. There’s a difference between being confident in your abilities, and having a big ego.

And her forced happiness/constant giggles. I understand that she has to “pretend” in order to appear normal, but being constantly cheery? That’s just trying too hard. I mean, I’m pretty quiet and keep to myself, and no one suspects me of being a serial killer. Or at least, I don’t think they do. (Side note: I am not a serial killer.)

Kit is constantly saying things that could incriminate her, but she thinks she’s still too good to get caught. That she just has good luck. Good luck. Good luck. It gets pretty repetitive. She even punches this guy and spurts out some monologue about how no one gets her, that she gets other people, and basically threatens to kill him. Yeah, that’s not going to draw attention to you at all.

My other problem was she’s constantly acting the part of “clueless idiot teenager” and yet, for some reason, she gets this inspector/detective/whoever he is to start trusting her and asking HER for her thoughts about the murders. She’s a teenager, who he has met maybe twice, and he brought her into a crime scene for reasons I still just don’t understand. Did I miss something, a logical reason for this?

I couldn’t help but be mostly confused throughout the whole book. Why did her mother start killing? Why did she train her own daughter, a child, to carry on the murders? It would be somewhat reasonable if Kit had started showing violent tendencies as a child, and the mother stepped in to help her control them and train her to kill the right people, like how Dexter went. But this was just like some weird family business and she passed it down to Kit for seemingly no reason.  Maybe if there had been some kind of real explanation, I might have been able to enjoy this book more.

RATING: 1 GHOSTIE

This is of course, the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard. I never read the article to which I’m referring to, I don’t plan to lest I buy a bucket of bleach to pour on my eyeballs, and I’m not going to link to it. Anyone with that little common sense does not deserve the blog traffic or the attention. But if you’ve been around Twitter lately and follow the right people, you probably already know what I’m talking about. For some reason, people believe YA should be left only for teenagers, and adults should just read more “adult” type things, to this I also say:

So I’ve decided, instead of going full-on rant mode, I’ll try to make an organized list of reasons why it is NOT OKAY to shame anyone for their reading material.

1. PEOPLE LIKE WHAT THEY LIKE. Shaming someone for their interests is like shaming them for breathing. You can’t help it and there is no way to just stop liking what you like. You wouldn’t just stop breathing if someone told you to, would you?  Readers are not just going to stop enjoying the types of books they like just because you say so. If you like something, that’s wonderful, but trying to turn people against something that you don’t like is not only ignorant, it’s just wrong.

2. NO TYPE OF BOOK IS BETTER THAN THE OTHER. If there is one thing I hate, it’s people acting like their forms of entertainment are more highbrow than others. Stop that. Just stop. No one should look at an “adult” reading collection and say, “boy, this person is really classy and grown up and overall a better human than all the rest.” No one should look at a “YA” reading collection and say, “this person must either be a teenager or really immature.” You know what I say when I see someone’s reading collection? “YAY! BOOKS!” Because books are great and they’re all different, but no matter what, no one type of book has more importance than another, except to the readers themselves. 

3. AT LEAST PEOPLE ARE READING. I mean, does it really matter if you’re reading James Patterson or John Green? Dickens or DeStefano? Who cares? The important thing is that people are picking up books and supporting authors. Reading is fun and it makes you happy (usually), and as long as you’re not reading a book titled “How To Become A Serial Killer In 3 Easy Steps,” absolutely NO ONE is getting hurt. You’re telling people that it’s only okay to read as long as you read CERTAIN THINGS and that is not okay. 

4. YA IS FOR ANYONE. Sure, it says “young” right there in the title, but the idea that people should stick to reading what’s in their age range is just silly. You don’t have to be a teenager to enjoy the content in Young Adult novels. I’m turning 23 this month, and I’ve been reading YA since before I can remember, and I don’t plan to stop anytime soon. I’ll be 50 and still pick up YA books and love the crap out of them. 

5. THE MAJORITY OF YA AUTHORS ARE ADULTS THEMSELVES. Do you really expect them to not read books in the genre that they are writing? I’m a writer myself, and I find it pretty helpful reading other books like mine for inspiration. If you just stick to something for a specific age group, you’re missing insight that could be used to help develop characters in your own stories.

6. YA ALLOWS YOU INTO THE MINDS OF TEENAGERS. Because God forbid we want to understand the struggles of the younger generation better, right? I can say, personally, that reading a lot of certain YA books has opened my mind to a lot of problems I’d really never thought much about, making me think before I run my mouth. Saying that adults should not read YA basically deems teenagers as unimportant, because it suggests that since we no longer are them, the things that they have to say have no significance. Adult YA writers remember what it’s like to be young, to deal with problems just like anyone else, and they give young people a voice through their characters.

7.  SOME OF THE MOST IMPORTANT LESSONS IN LIFE ARE TAUGHT IN YA BOOKS. Sure, some books are just for enjoyment and don’t always teach you things, but mostly, a lot of YA books have important underlining themes. There are books that focus on bullying and suicide, like Tease by Amanda Maciel, that show you the effect your words can have on other people. Books like Wintergirls and Speak by Laurie Halse Anderson, that show the harsh truth about anorexia and speaking out about rape and abuse. Other books, like Divergent, teach you about standing up for what you believe in and staying true to yourself, while The Hunger Games puts a spotlight on sacrifice and love. At what age should we start forgetting these things are important? We shouldn’t.

8. THERE ARE SO MANY OTHER IMPORTANT ISSUES. Seriously, we live in a world where there are more social problems we need to focus on fixing than who reads what. Racism, sexism. etc.? Do we really need to add to that by splitting up the reading community and shaming each other for books, too?

9. JUST DON’T DO IT.

10. SERIOUSLY, JUST DON’T.

Okay, the last two weren’t really reasons, but I couldn’t come up with anything else. And now that I think of it, I shouldn’t have to. People should have the common sense.

So readers, use your brain. Pick up a book- whatever kind of book you want. And read it, because no one else can tell you what books you’re allowed to love.

A Long Way Down, based on the novel by Nick Hornby, is about four strangers who meet atop the roof of Topper’s House on New Years Eve, determined to end their lives. Together they form a surrogate family and make a pact to not kill themselves until Valentine’s Day.

I’ve been waiting a ridiculously long time to watch this movie, and for brief moments during that time I was worried that, when I finally watched it, all the bad reviews I’d glanced upon would be right. I’m so glad I didn’t listen to them. This is a lovely little film about love, loss, friendship, hopelessness, hardship, and finding the right people to keep you going in life despite all those things.

Maybe I’m biased, seeing as I’m already a huge fan of Aaron and Imogen’s acting in absolutely anything they do, but I feel like this movie was perfectly casted. I couldn’t imagine anyone else in the role of J.J. or Maureen or Jess or Martin. It may just be because I liked the actors prior to this, or maybe just because it was acted out in front of me rather than on the pages, but I felt like they brought something a little extra to these characters that made them far more likable to watch than to read.

Jess, who was probably my least favorite in the book, much to my surprise became my favorite in the movie. She was still totally obnoxious and rude, but brought to life on the screen by Imogen Poots, I found myself sympathizing with her probably the most out of any of them. Her scenes of awkwardly trying to thank them for caring about her as she fights tears and tries to bring them all together were just flawlessly acted and made me want to reach through the screen and hug her as tightly as I could.

Aaron Paul was wonderful to watch, as usual. If there was any performance in this movie that I knew I would love, it was his as J.J. He and Imogen held my attention throughout every second they graced on my computer screen. Even though he’s the only one without a specific reason for wanting to kill himself, his speech on the rooftop left me heartbroken, and it makes the point that you don’t have to have just ONE big reason. Having a lot of little things to deal with or not knowing your place in life can be just as hard as the “bigger” reasons.

“You can solve your problems, but me, I can’t.  Look, I’m just- I’m just tired. Of uh, being scared all the time, not knowing why. I’m tired of being- trying to change and not knowing how.  You know, leaving my latest shit band, moving countries… because however much I do… change…  I’m left with me.”

Toni Collette was a perfect Maureen, imitating her timid, sweet demeanor exactly as I pictured her in the book.

Pierce Brosnan was equally as great as Martin, who I disliked, but still enjoyed his constant eyerolling bitterness about everything.

One problem people with the negative reviews seem to have with this movie is it’s unlikable characters. Having read the book, I’d like to point out that they’re just being true to how the characters actually are. In the book, they’re not that likable. In fact, I hardly liked any of them while reading, but that didn’t stop me from liking the story itself that Hornby was trying to tell. There seems to be this idea that every book or movie has to involve characters that you absolutely love to make it enjoyable. Though of course it’s nice to have someone to root for from time to time, it’s not really that necessary to still get the story across. Not everyone in the world is completely likable, so why would every character be?

Though it was by no means a perfect adaptation, I thoroughly enjoyed this film from start to finish and how much it changed from the pages to the movie. If you’re expecting it to be exactly like the book, it’s not. There are many noticeable changes, but I feel it was much better done this way than sticking exactly to it and bringing in ALL of the random details. I liked the book, but it was still pretty bleak (obviously, given the main topic of it), and I think the changes here and there combined with the great cast just pulled it together better. I especially loved the ending, how it was so much more hopeful than how the book ended, even while dealing with such a grim, difficult topic such as suicide. I really adored how Jess and J.J. ended up together. They had so much chemistry throughout the film that I kept hoping they would just put them together, despite knowing it didn’t happen in the book, and I was glad they did. Cause, I mean, look at them.

My only complaint is that the scene where they are up on the rooftop again and they see the man jump wasn’t in the movie. Maybe that’s a little twisted, but I would have loved to see how this group of brilliant actors would have acted out the pure shock of seeing something like that, given that earlier in the movie, that might have been their fate.

RATING:  4 GHOSTIES

Earlier on Twitter, Brittany made a great point that I couldn’t agree with more. It’s much easier to be happy when you talk about the stuff you like. So instead of tearing down the stuff you don’t like, focus on the good. Like things. She listed off some things she likes, and asked us to do the same. Pretty soon, everyone was joining in, myself included, just listing all the little and big things that we enjoy. I swear, I sat there for a while just reading over all the RT’s, and it made me smile. I didn’t start off having a great day, but as I thought about all the things I like, and saw everyone else sharing the things that make them happy, it lifted my mood considerably. It’s amazing how much good just sharing this stuff with other people can do for you, because you realize that deep down, we’re all not that different, even if we like different stuff. We all share a love of liking things, things that are important and meaningful to us. Things that make us who we are. All the tweets, and this post by Jen, inspired me to make an extended list of my own. It definitely won’t be everything I like, because let’s face it, I like a lot of things.

1.  Supernatural
2. Weekends with friends
3. Hot cups of tea while I write
4. Horror movies
5. Aaron Paul
6. The smell of old books
7. Baby animals
8. Getting myself Cinnabon each time I leave Carowinds
9. Roller coasters
10. Netflix
11. Remembering my dreams in vivid detail
12. My memories of elementary school
13. Old photo albums covered in dust
14. House sitting
15. Jensen Ackles
16. Beanie hats
17. Forming amazing social media friendships
18. Jumping or just laying on trampolines
19. My favorite bands finally releasing music after a long hiatus
20. Pasta
21. Spending hours at the library
22. Laughing until my side hurts and I’m crying
23. Road trips with friends
24. Introducing people to things I love
25. Even better when they end up loving those things too
26. Interactions with favorite authors or actors
27. That feeling of finishing a really good book
28. Sudden bursts of writing inspiration
29. Going to the movies
30. Quoting movies or show episodes I know word for word
31. Abandoned houses
32. Chandler Bing
33. Photoshoots
34. Puns
35. Cats acting like they think they’re humans
36. Swimming alone at night
37. Finding out people say nice things about me to others
38. Discovering things I thought I’d lost
39. Signed books
40. New art supplies
41. Tacos
42. TV/movies/books that make me ugly cry
43. Writing random stories with friends
44. Giveaways
45. Scarves
46. Autumn
47. Traveling
48. Naps
49. Rewatching shows I’ve seen countless times
50. Movies based off true stories
51. 90s rock
52. Classic rock
53. Making lists
54. Exploring new places on my own
55. Collapsing on a pile of clothes right out of the dryer
56. Vanilla ice cream
57. Disney movies
58. Thrift store shopping
59. Getting recognition/compliments for my hard work
60. Organizing my bookshelves
61. Jennifer Lawrence in anything
62. Wearing boots
63. New mugs
64. Hannibal
65. Amy Poehler and Tina Fey
66. #365MoviesIn365Days
67. Pinterest
68. Helping others
69. Mozzarella bites dipped in pizza sauce
70. Flea markets
71. Iced coffee
72. Wilmington, NC
73. Dr Pepper
74. Getting things in the mail
75. TV series with perfect endings
76. Haunted houses
77. Movie butter popcorn drowned in ranch flavoring
78. Bacon
79. When my friends and I say the exact same thing at the same time
80. Spicy food
81. Subs
82. Basically, a lot of food
83. Catching reruns of Friends on TV
84. Vintage things
85. Owls
86. Quiet evenings alone
87. Sarcasm
88. Johnny Depp
89. Staying up all night reading
90. Walking on the beach at night
91. Sliding across hardwood floors in socks
92. Pajamas
93. Puppies and kittens
94. Looking at pictures from old trips and wanting to go back
95. Singing along at concerts until I lose my voice
96. When people get my pop culture references
97. Whose Line Is It Anyway
98. Tater tots
99. Talking about the stuff I like
100. YOU READING THIS

 What do YOU like?

I believe my thoughts on last night’s season nine finale of Supernatural can best be summed up by a quote I said to one of my friends who asked how I was coping afterwards.

“My thoughts are a jumble of pain, Winchesters, and flannel.”

A lot of us are still trying to wrap our heads around everything that happened, particularly the last few scenes. I even had to rewatch it again today just to feel the full effect, and I’m still speechless. Though I can’t say whether or not it was my favorite season finale, I can say, in my opinion, it was one of the most heart-pounding, sitting-on-the-edge-of-your-seat, shocking finales of this show to date and I thoroughly enjoyed it (as much as one can enjoy having their heart ripped out of their chest and the air knocked out of their lungs. We’re all masochists in this fandom, really.)

I say shocking, not because the ending was really a surprise- most of us saw it coming, or at least made a guess that’s where the season was headed- but because even with the theories, seeing it played out in front of us still managed to leave us all screaming at our televisions. Even though I kind of had a feeling how it was going to end, I found myself holding my breath and just staring and squirming in my seat. Thinking something is going to happen is one thing, but seeing it happen is another, especially when it comes to these brilliant actors playing it out. They still manage to blow you away.

The episode picks up right where last week’s left off. Dean has attacked Gadreel with the First Blade, and now Sam and Castiel have to hold Dean back and lock him up before he goes completely off-the-wall psycho killer. I want to take a second to LOUDLY APPLAUD Jensen’s acting in this episode. Like usual, he’s at his very best in every single scene. I can practically feel the rage radiating off of him in those scenes that the Mark of Cain + the blade take over, turning him into something that only wants one thing: to kill. You see the anger and the fury written in every one of his features. I love that it’s been Dean’s turn to go darkside and do things terrible out of his control. We’ve seen that with Sam already, and now we get to see how that plays out with our eldest Winchester.

Metatron, the angel we all loathe, is stirring up trouble again, broadcasting over ‘angel radio’ that he’s going on a trip, closing the doors to Heaven temporarily, and that all will be explained later. He not-so-modestly refers to himself as their new God. We all know that when anyone on the show starts that bow-down-to-me-I-am-holier-than-you spiel, that nothing good is about to happen. Like most others, I’ve absolutely despised this guy since the day he showed his true colors. Unlike a lot of other villains on this show that have done terrible things yet we can’t help but to love (Meg, Crowley, Lucifer, to name a few), you just… hate this guy. Curtis Armstrong does a flawless job of bringing such a repulsive character to life. You just really want him dead.

Meanwhile, we find Dean, still locked up in his cell. He summons Crowley for help, interrupting the King of Hell’s nice little back massage he’s got going on. Demon or not, you can’t blame a guy for wanting to treat himself to some alone time. Also, he’s got Dr. Phil on speed-dial? Makes you wonder who else he hangs with in his spare time.

Dean admits that he can’t turn ‘it’ off, it meaning the high that he’s getting that makes him need to kill, really really need to kill. Crowley goes on to explain that (like we figured) it’s the Mark that’s affecting him, and that the less he kills, the less good he’s going to feel, eventually leading to his death. While Cain was a demon, Dean’s only human, and his body isn’t strong enough to contain all that power. Crowley helps Dean out and they take off with the Blade, leaving Sam, Castiel, and the newly healed Gadreel to team up and track Dean down.

While this is going on, we’re back with Metatron, who heals a woman who’s just been hit by a car. Obviously, like everything he does, he’s got an agenda behind it. Someone catches the event on video and soon it goes viral, everyone watching believing that he’s some kind of Messiah. Like his ego needed to be any bigger, right? Dean and Crowley see it, heading off again together to speak to the ‘miracle’ lady, but by the time they get there, she’s gone, and Sam’s there waiting. Both brothers have a little heart-to-heart (kinda?) finally agreeing that Dean is their only shot of getting Metatron. Sam’s only condition is that they work together. It was bittersweet, but probably one of the only true brotherly moments of the entire season so hey, you take what you can get. They have another one while Dean’s preparing to go inside and face Metatron, but that’s cut short when Dean knocks Sam out, quietly muttering an apology and that it’s not his fight, before he goes inside on his own. It’s the Winchester way, to want to keep the other brother out of harm’s way while he fight what he believes is his fight. Predictable, but still doesn’t lessen the emotional impact in any way, no matter how many times they pull that kind of storyline.

Needing to get to the Angel Tablet in order to break the connection of power between it and Metatron, Gadreel and Cas hatch a plan to sneak into Heaven (the door of which is inside a sandbox in a playground, naturally). But obviously, the other angels are way ahead of him, foiling their plan the second they step in the door by putting them in Angel Jail. Gadreel, seeing no other choice, sacrifices himself so that Castiel can escape and follow through with the plan. Before that moment, I never thought I would forgive him for what he did to Kevin, but during his death scene, I couldn’t help but feel a little bad for Gadreel. In the end he truly did want to do good. Though I almost wish he could have survived, I think the true redemption lies in him giving up his life for others to be saved.

And now, we reach the stand-off between Dean and Metatron that we’ve been waiting for. Another round of applause for the writers and also all actors involved because these last ten minutes literally gave me chills. You see fight scenes in this show often, but for some reason, this one feels different, because you just know deep down it’s not going to end in the Winchesters’ favor this time.  And it doesn’t. Just as Dean, beaten to a bloody pulp, reaches for the blade… just as Sam comes running in… just as Castiel finds and destroys the tablet… it’s still too late. Metatron plunges the blade into Dean’s chest. God, that moment, right? That moment of pure silence as the blade slides in, the looks exchanged when Dean glances up to see his brother running in and yelling his name.

Much to my dismay, Castiel takes mercy out on Metatron, having him locked up in Angel Jail rather than killing him. After a painfully sad moment between Sam and Dean, Dean takes his last breath. Cue the tears.

“I’m proud of us.”

In the final scene, Crowley appears in the room where Dean’s body lies.

“Your brother, bless his soul, is summoning me, as I speak. Make a deal. Bring you back. It’s exactly what I was talking about, isn’t it? It’s all become so…expected. You have to believe me. When I suggested you take on the Mark of Cain, I didn’t know that this was going to happen. Not really. I mean, I might not have told you the entire truth. But I never lied. I never lied, Dean. That’s important. It’s fundamental. But…there is one story about Cain that I might have… forgotten to tell you. Apparently, he, too, was willing to accept death rather than become the killer the Mark wanted him to be. So he took his own life with the Blade. He died. Except, as rumor has it, the Mark never quite let go. You can understand why I never spoke of this. Why set hearts aflutter at mere speculation? It wasn’t until you summoned me… no it wasn’t truly until you left that cheeseburger uneaten, that I began to let myself believe maybe miracles do come true.”

He places the blade in his hand and positions it over his chest.

“Listen to me, Dean Winchester. What you’re feeling right now — it’s not death. It’s life — a new kind of life. Open your eyes, Dean. See what I see. Feel what I feel. And let’s go take a howl at that moon.”

Cue end credits, cue SCREAMING.

So can we talk about the AMAZING parallels between scenes this episode and ones in earlier seasons? They were glaringly obvious to me and I just love when the show flashes back to earlier moments. This was no exception.

-Dean being locked up. Remember when it was Sam who was locked up for going a little crazy?  This time it’s Sam’s turn to lock his brother up, just in the Men of Letters bunker rather than Bobby’s panic room.

-Sam coming to terms with the fact that it really is up to Dean to take on Metatron, much like in season five when Dean had to take a step back from his fears of losing Sam so that Sam could allow Lucifer to take over him.

-Metatron stabbing Dean…

-…Sam rushing to save him…

-…Only to have him die in his arms. The roles are reversed from when, in season two, Sam is stabbed and it’s Dean running to him.

-He even left his body laying on a bed instead of giving him a hunter’s funeral, like Dean left Sam’s lifeless corpse on a bed in that same season two finale.

-Though in this finale Sam doesn’t sell his soul like Dean did, but you can certainly tell he was about to go to extreme measures to get Dean back.

-Then of course, there’s Demon Dean. Back in “Dream A Little Dream Of Me,” Dean faces a demon version of himself who tells him that no matter what, this is what he’s going to become. Sure enough, the last scene in this finale features a black-eyed Dean Winchester.

 I feel like this episode was just brilliantly done on all levels. And while so many people have had complaints about this season, I enjoyed it for the most part. The writers AND actors have all outdone themselves. I’m really excited to see where they take this whole Demon Dean thing. Like I said before, I love that it’s now Dean’s turn to show his dark side.

Rating: 5 Ghosties.

From debut author Amanda Maciel comes a provocative and unforgettable novel, inspired by real-life incidents, about a teenage girl who faces criminal charges for bullying after a classmate commits suicide.

Emma Putnam is dead, and it’s all Sara Wharton’s fault. At least, that’s what everyone seems to think. Sara, along with her best friend and three other classmates, has been criminally charged for the bullying and harassment that led to Emma’s shocking suicide. Now Sara is the one who’s ostracized, already guilty according to her peers, the community, and the media. In the summer before her senior year, in between meetings with lawyers and a court-recommended therapist, Sara is forced to reflect on the events that brought her to this moment—and ultimately consider her own role in an undeniable tragedy. And she’ll have to find a way to move forward, even when it feels like her own life is over.

This book was really difficult to read, so I have a feeling this review will be extra difficult to write.

Going into this, I’d been warned that it wasn’t a “quick and easy” read, and now I realize why. It’s just a little over 300 pages, so it isn’t that long at all, but that’s not what makes it so hard to get through. With a lot of books this size, I can just sit down and read most/all of it in one sitting. With this one, that’s not the case. It took me several weeks of reading it off and on to finally finish it. The reason that it’s hard to read has nothing to do with length or quality; it has to do with the content.

The story follows Sara, a high school student who is now in legal trouble for her bullying that played a part in the death of one of her classmates, Emma. It alternates between the past, describing the events leading up to Emma’s death, and the present, where Sara is now dealing with the consequences of her actions while preparing herself for going to court.

While I couldn’t really emotionally connect with Sara and did not like her in the very least, I feel that was the point of the story. Not many books deal with bullying from the eyes of the actual bully, we usually just see the effects that it has on the victim. For the most part of the story, Sara is unapologetic. She’s ruthless, bitter, and sincerely does not understand how she is to blame in any way for Emma’s death. She didn’t kill her, after all. Why is she being punished? Why is she the outcast now? It’s Emma’s fault, not hers. It’s these thoughts she has regularly throughout the book that made me cringe and start to boil with anger.

She’s constantly worrying about how she’s being affected throughout all this. Not Emma, who took her life, or Emma’s parents, who are now mourning and have lost a child. But Sara. She’s worrying about the fact that she’s now being bullied herself. Even before Emma died, Sara didn’t seem to care about anything but what was going on in her own life, especially her boyfriend. I swear, you’d think the world revolved around him. It is possible to move on after a breakup and be happy again without inflicting your misery on everyone else.

The relationships Sara surrounds herself are so extremely toxic, that it makes you wonder how things might have been different. If she didn’t hang out with mean girls like Brielle. If she didn’t date guys who stuck their tongues down other girls’ throats. Maybe in an alternate universe, she and Emma could have been friends, which is probably the saddest part of all of it. That’s not to say that it’s Sara’s environment that’s to blame, because she definitely made her own choices. But it’s difficult to think about the fact that Emma- and not just her as a character, but people like her in the real world that have taken their lives in circumstances like these, might still be alive if people like Sara took a step back and realized the poison they were allowing to influence them. Again, the blame still lies with the actual bully. Sara didn’t have to say those things, and she didn’t have to go along with the horrible things she did.

During it all, though, I really wanted to know more about Emma. What was going on in her life beyond the bullying? In her home life? Why did she have to transfer schools?

Towards the end of the book, when Sara finally begins to feel remorse- I admit, I felt like I was going to need a bucket for my tears.

While I still didn’t like her or necessarily feel bad for her, since she had been truly awful, I liked that she was finally realizing her mistakes and that she did in fact make Emma’s pain worse. Her apology felt sincere and human. She wasn’t immediately forgiven. People still hated her and blamed her, but now she at least understood why, and that felt like closure enough.

This book isn’t for everyone, but I think that it’s something everyone should have to read at least once. Teenagers, adults, anyone. If you’re looking for a book where you can like and sympathize with the main character, you’re not going to find that here. But what you will find is a really powerful story that makes you think about the effects that your words and actions have on other people. Every word counts. You don’t know what someone else is going through in their personal lives. It may be really easy to stand behind your computer and type hurtful things, or call someone names to their face, but what if it was you on the other side of it?  This book really made me wonder about teenagers these days. Are they really this cruel to each other? I’ve been bullied before, but never even half as harshly as what these girls do.

This is definitely a book that I won’t be forgetting anytime soon. I’d like to hope that maybe someday, someone will read this book, someone who’s like Sara, and that maybe, it will make them think about the harmful things they’ve said or done to people. Maybe it will change their outlook, and maybe, just maybe it will stop them from acting that way in the future, before it’s too late.

Rating: 3.5 ghosties

 
1 ghost = Hated it.

 
2 ghosts = Didn’t like it.

 
3 ghosts = It was good, but I didn’t love it completely.

4 ghosts = Awesome! I really enjoyed it!

5 ghosts = THIS IS THE BEST THING EVER. READ IT/WATCH IT NOW.

Lauren, thanks for putting your awesome paint skills to use and coming up with this idea! I knew there was a reason I kept you around.

Cancellation season is never easy, but this year it seems the TV gods have been extra tough on us, throwing so many surprising (and some not so surprising) TV show cancellations at us so fast that you’re just left dumbfounded, staring at your computer/phone screens like someone just ran over your puppy with a semi truck. And in some ways, they have. You have these shows and characters that you’ve treasured and held close to your heart, and the only thing you wanted was for them to be okay. Sometimes it’s a slow approaching truck. You kind of see it coming; you know the ratings have been bad and the chances of renewal are iffy, but you still hold out hope that they’ll turn at the last second and give it another chance. Other times it just seems to come out of nowhere despite your best hopes.

Now that I have thoroughly depressed all of you already depressed people with my puppy/truck metaphor, I’ll move on to the cancellations that have dampened my otherwise nice day.

COMMUNITY (NBC)

This one is probably the most painful of them all. For obvious reasons, this section of the post will be longer than the rest and full of all of my emotions in GIF form.

I started watching sometime around season three, and when I did, I was welcomed into such an amazing and, for the most part, heartwarming fandom. No, fandom isn’t the right word for a show like this. It’s more like family.

The fans of this show are a study group of their own, and they love this show with such strong and faithful determination. Sometimes they fight and disagree on certain things. Like which season was “bad” or which characters should or should not get together. Things like that. Every one does it. But in the end, they always have each other’s backs when someone’s trying to put them down. If you mess with one Human Being, you mess with all the Human Beings. I’ve seen this in action and it’s downright inspiring.

It’s been amazing to watch (and be a part of) them pulling together and working their absolute hardest to keep this show on the air. I can’t stress that enough. The hashmobs, the livetweeting. Anyone who loves a show enough to dedicate huge chunks of their time just spreading the word about it in hopes more people will watch it has my utmost respect. I feel like I’ve become a part of this weird extended family, where we’re all practically automatically best friends. Even the Communies I haven’t talked to that much, or at all, I just feel like no matter what, we’ve all been connected deep down by our love of this show, and that’s a permanent thing for me.

If I’m ever out somewhere and I see one of you, you better prepare yourself for the biggest hug of your life. I expect the same from you. And hopefully that will happen someday. We don’t stop being family just because the show has ended. Community may be over, but the happiness and friendships we’ve made during its course will stay with us.

TROPHY WIFE (ABC)

I haven’t really made any close friends while watching this, but it doesn’t make it any less heartbreaking to see this show go. I loved it immediately. Like Crazy Ones, it has characters you just can’t help but to love (every single one of them!) and it truly makes you laugh and lifts your mood just by watching it. This was my second favorite new comedy of the season and I can’t believe they didn’t give it a chance.

SUBURGATORY (ABC)

I’ll be honest here, I’m still not caught up on Suburgatory. I only watched one or two seasons live, and then I was forced to, for timing reasons, stop watching it live. It wasn’t until recently I found it online and was FINALLY able to restart watching it, intent on catching up so that next season, I could watch live. Little did I know that it also was sadly cancelled. Since I am behind, I’m not sure what the reasons are. Bad ratings, or did the show just go past its time and flopped? I wouldn’t know, but I do know that from what I have seen, I’m really bummed about this decision, ABC.

This show is hilarious. I can lose myself in it for hours just watching episode after episode. I absolutely adore the relationship between Tessa and George (enjoyable father/daughter duos are hard to come by these days), and all the quirkiness of the rest of the Chatswin residents. Aside from the humor, it also has sweet messages behind most every episode.

Despite this sad news, I intend to watch the rest of the episodes I have not seen, and enjoy every second of it.

 ~

Well, there you have it. I’m not going to go into detail about any other cancellations in this post because these three are really the only ones that I currently know about that I care for. Another show whose fate is yet to be announced that I am waiting on is CBS’  Crazy Ones. If you read my earlier post about how much I love Crazy Ones, you know how much I’m dying for this one to be renewed. I’m already bummed out over these three, so CBS, don’t be the cherry on top of this crap sundae. Don’t make me go Chloe on you. Let me keep at least one of my favorite comedies.

I don’t know about you, but all these favorites of mine getting canceled is making it harder for me to want to try out all the new upcoming shows. What shows are you looking forward to in the new season? What shows were canceled that you wish weren’t? Leave it in the comments, if you can stop yourself from ugly sobbing long enough.