Sea General Napes Fantasy Football League

2013 Ghastin Performance

2013-09-08T08:25:00.000-07:00

Lyrics

“Ghastin’s Cup”

There’s Ghastin’s cup!
Jensen’s won the cup, he’ll never stop
Won championships!
Jensen’s time is up, pick your spot!
You’ve been mocking right?
You’ve seen someone who’s dropping stock?
Award Ghastin’s cup!
Til the draft’s complete, we’ll never stop(3)
Our league’s draft still goes on (3)

Pick up the duds, the wannabes
Risky moves, ride with a weak, weak rookie
Ghastin’s cup!
Play for Ghastin’s cup
Pick up QB starters and drop all you got, you got, you got
Wow! Can’t compete? Without a bench, wins looking bleak
Play for Ghastin’s cup
That’s what you get. See, you messed it up, messed it up(2)
Watch as a grown man cries (3)

Can’t contemplate, you pick Mike Turner
Our league ain’t easy
Just a barn, barn burner
Ghastin’s Cup!
Play for Ghastin’s cup!
Play with all you got
You mustn’t ever, ever, ever trade
Never, never
Ghastin’s Cup!
It will make low men try(3)
You’ve got to win, take seventh place
It’ll take you places that you’ve never, never dreamed
Ghastin’s Cup!
Love this day! Jensen will pick his spot, pick his spot
Pick his spot, pick his spot
Ghastin’s Cup!

Never stop, never stop, never stop
You, you, you make a grown man cry

Terry's Song

2012-12-15T17:17:00.001-08:00

So I thought it was only right to post Terry's song the same week that I'm playing him this week. Note: only lyrics, didn't have time to learn it and make a video. The song is called "Jensen's Walk of Fame" and is written to "Hall of Fame" by the Script. Though Jensen's name is in the title and it does indirectly does poke fun at Jensen. This is a song about Terry picking up Jensen's touch and continuing the tradition if you will. I do have to thank Meghan (Jensen's girlfriend) for the inspiration for this song. Also I'd like to tease that if PBODY does some how make it to the finals, I will have a big surprise for everyone with the first Ghastin music video with a song about PBODY again.....That is all enjoy!

-Ghastin

Ghastin's New Song: Jensen's Walk of Fame"

2012-12-15T17:16:00.001-08:00

"Jensen’s Walk Of Fame"
by Head Ed
Yeah, she won’t be the greatest
She can pass the test
You can see through her thong laying on your chest

You give her a whirl
She sucks on your pearls
She must be a whore, go banging her back door

You can tie her hands up
You shouldn’t be shocked
She’s cumming a fountain
She loves your cock
You can be like Jensen
Don’t wait to fuck
Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself

Taking Jensen’s walk of fame
And Terry never knew her name
Cause he spits with the greatest game
And she won’t ever know he came
And she’ll be crying, watch her walk of shame

She gave no resistance
She could fuck awhile
She couldn’t walk straight well hell part the nile

She might be a zero
She had lots to hold
Breaking all your sleeping posts
Thought you were gonna choke

Do it for your number
Do it for the ride
She never had been mounted If you didn’t pass by

Do it for your bounty
Do it, make your name
Cause there’s gonna be a day

When you’re taking Jensen’s walk of fame
And Terry never knew her name
Cause he spits with the greatest game
And she won’t ever know he came
And she’ll be crying, watch her walk of shame

Be a man whore, Be a man whore
Be a man whore, Be a man whore

You’re taking Jensen’s walk of fame

Do students
Do illegals
Do immigrants
Do beagles
Do repugnants
Do nastys
Do elephants
Do ghastlys
Do spider pants

Do floozies
Do bovines
Do boozies
Do porcines

Do hippos
Do rhinos
Do bimbos
Do dinos

Taking Jensen’s walk of fame
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
And Terry never knew her name
(Yeah, yeah, yeah)
Cause he spits with the greatest game
(Yeah, yeah,yeah)
And she won’t ever know he came
And she’ll be crying, watch her walk of shame

(You are a man whore)
Yeah, she won’t be the greatest
(You are a man whore)
She can pass the test
(You are a man whore)
You can see through her thong laying on your chest
(You are a man whore)
You give her a whirl
(You are a man whore)
She sucks on your pearls
(You are a man whore)
She must be a whore, go banging her back door
(You are a man whore)
You can tie her hands up
(You are a man whore)
You shouldn’t be shocked
(You are a man whore)
She cumming a fountain
(You are a man whore)
She loves your cock
(You are a man whore)
You can be like Jensen
(You are a man whore)
Don’t wait to fuck
(You are a man whore)
Dedicate yourself and you can find yourself
(You are a man whore)

Taking Jensen’s walk of fame

Jensen's Quagmire Lyrics

2012-11-01T12:52:00.002-07:00

Play who you’re playing
Won’t make it wayne
Know you’re not scoring
Not scoring

You need some lotion
Still reeling in pain
The league is stirring
stirring

Son, your team’s a quagmire

Losses start to tally
You winning, no way
Lie while you’re trading
You’re trading

Still slots are open
Team buckles in pain
Feels like you’re dying
You’re dying

Son, your teams’ a quagmire
And so
Where’s your Jensen empire?

Just sign a waiver
Battling woes
You can’t just fix it
Fix it

We hope it’s for weeks
We hope it’s forever
Oh look at the projections
The projections
The projections

Son, your team’s a quagmire
Son, your team’s a quagmire

And so
Where’s your Jensen empire?

And son
Your team’s a quagmire
And so
Jensen freaking retire

Jensen's Quagmire...a Ghastin Original

2012-11-01T12:09:00.003-07:00

Danny's Week 7 Predictions - Start 'Em Up

2012-10-19T06:11:00.001-07:00

Welcome to the first weekly addition of Start em up... each week I will suggest players to play souly based on who I play in my leagues.... having the most PA in 3 out of my 5 leagues... i feel I can redirect my awful awful luck to helping my fellow friends on who to start in their other leagues and this one..... I will see how my record is each week on my picks QBs need 20... RBs 15 and WRs 12 and TE 10 in order for a win... I will also give a lock of the week and if by chance I play multiple defenses or kickers i will suggest them...I will try and pick AT LEAST 3 people and players so without further adu....

1) Ray Rice - A no brainer... just traded him away in one league and play him in 2 other leagues this week... LOCK OF THE WEEK... in fact... easy 20 pts

2) Greg Olson - You need him... play him.. he is bound to break out against me this week

3) Bills Def - I am 1st in points in this league with a record of 1-5... my opponant cant do anything wrong this year... puuuttt it on the board.... YEEESS!

4) Darren Sproles - 15 pts... no problem... see above with Ray Rice

5) Romo to Austin - how many times have I been scored upon in my Saginaw league with a QB to WR combo... well Manning to Cruz was fun..... they will hook up at least once... prolly twice

SUPER SHOCKER....

Nate Burleson - gonna come down to my JJs league to him... look for him to butt rape my on Monday night just like Bears def did to me 2 weeks ago...

Thank you all!

Uncle Nape Creeps

2012-10-13T10:28:00.003-07:00

All I can say about this video by Ghastin is...

Pure. Fucking. Genius.

New Ghastin Song: Uncle Nape Creeps

2012-10-12T06:44:00.001-07:00

“Uncle Nape Creeps"

Hey baby don’t you look his age?
His age could be a contradiction
Hey baby you see his cage?
It’s giving him nocturnal emissions

You’re a sorry sucker and this happens all the time
You found out that Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps, Uncle Nape creeps

It started with (Pause) Dem kids
And that was when he seized you
And then he made your lips hurt
He didn’t want no chitchat
Took you to his cellar
Shellski, never gonna tell her
When Uncle Nape creeps near

Hey honey, here, use a butt plug
It could be your new stimulation
Too much could make you comatose
All these kids, look, see, he’s switching

Oh my my shit
Uncle Nape creeps, Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps too much

It started with (Pause) Dem kids
And that was when he seized you
And then he made your lips hurt
He didn’t want no chitchat
Took you to his cellar
Shellski, never gonna tell her
When Uncle Nape creeps near

Never thought I’d live to see the day
When Uncle Nape’s kids got in the way

Hey Shellski show him all your love
All he’s giving you is herpes
Hey Danny what you gotta say?

It started with (Pause) Dem kids
And that was when he seized you
And then he made your lips hurt
He didn’t want no chitchat
Took you to his cellar
Shellski, never gonna tell her
When Uncle Nape creeps near

Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps …near

It started with (Pause) Dem kids

(Statutory Nape, Statutory Nape)
And that was when he seized you

(Statutory Nape, Statutory Nape)

Uncle Nape creeps
Uncle Nape creeps …near

Week 2 Headlines

2012-09-20T09:23:00.000-07:00

Now that the dust has settled from the draft and the 2012 Sea General Napes Fantasy Football League season is under way, it's time to get back to what this blog was meant to do - report what's going on in the league and bring to the top stories to the forefront.

The Jensen Brother Post a Combined Record of 0-4 through Week 2.
Apparently the "Guru" and his prodigy spent more time planning their performance for the draft than planning a solid draft strategy. Collin's team is projected to go 1-12 and even Ghastin's team look stronger than Jensen's. We've compared Jensen to the Yankees and now we can lump Collin in as well. When a Jensen loses, everyone wins.

Injury Bug Bites Napes in the Ass...Three Times
Fred Jackson, Aaron Hernandez, and Hakeem Nicks all suffered injuries in the first two weeks. If you have any player in another league that is on Statutory Nape, trade him now or suffer the consequences (and strange itch) that Napes is passing on to his players.

Lack of Trading Stalls League Progress
Several trades have been proposed since the close of the draft, but no agreements have yet to be made. Note to all league managers: None of your drafts were that great and holding on to players like David Wilson for the long haul will not work in this league. Make moves - life is boring if I don't have a trade to make fun of.

Danny Hordes RBs...but Can Only Play Two
Drafting two elite TEs was an interesting move, and one that could pay off huge for the league's most controversial manager. However, having 6 starting running backs on your roster when you can only play two at a time is a great strategy...for leaving points on your bench. See above headline.

Ghastin and Mike at the Top?
Who'd-a-thunk.

Rat City Bitch and Suh Town Stomp Lyrics

2012-09-11T03:52:00.001-07:00

"Rat City"

Rat, rat, city bitch, city bitch
Rat, rat, rat city bitch, city bitch, rat
Rat, rat, rat city bitch, city bitch
Fuckin' on this league

Rat city bitch, rat, rat city bitch
This league should be called Jensen City bitch
Rat team, don't matter who I play with
Danny's draft last year was the biggest biff
There's mikes team playing from the deepest ditch
and his brothers team, very irrelevant
Who the hell are these guys Ghastin's putting in?
Well done terry, 0 for 3 playoff stint
Is Austin here? Does he even give a shit?
P-body got Weemsed by me in the championship
Big games, napes team shit a brick
The Kuhn you know what it is…

Rat city bitch, rat, rat, city bitch
This league should be called Jensen City Bitch

Rat city bitch, rat, rat, city bitch
This league should be called Jensen City Bitch

“Suh Town Stomp”

= Adam

= Collin

= BOTH

The Jensen brothers here and we rappin'
This is the SGN, SHIT HAPPENS
League watchin, we back at Jensen's place
Only half the dudes in here got a chance at 1^st place
Tough draft, gonna tweak?
We all know Ghastin's will turn out weak
Dannys bitchin' erry day ya'll , HE GON' WEEP
Hopin Jensen just chokes on it and don't win the league
Saying I get the upper hand on all the dealins'
But Jensen says they're fair, ain't tryin to hurt no feelins
Rodgers for Bradford, what the fuck?
Jensen smiling all year, thinkin THAT WUSSUP
Week after week, the league produces drama
Vote this fall, FUCK BARACK OBAMA
Dom-ni-Kong Suh out here, yeah he don't take no shit
Stomped 62's arm was really trying to stomp his dick

I said my Lions don't dance they just stomp on them hands
and do the Suh Town stomp
now suh stomp suh stomp suh stomp suh stomp

I said my Lions don't dance they just stomp on them hands
and do the Suh Town stomp
now suh stomp suh stomp suh stomp suh stomp

Post Draft Breakdown

2012-09-05T13:09:00.000-07:00

Break it on down, Uncle Nape

Guest Post by: Dan Napier – Statutory Nape aka Uncle Nape aka Napezilla

Long time reader, first time contributor.

Another fantastic Sea General Napes Fantasy Football Draft is in the books. A healthy weekend of trash talking, musical performances (really?), and camaraderie filled the East Lansing area as 8 of the 10 members traveled far and wide (some on ‘the internets’) to the East Lansing area

In this article we’ll take a look at what I feel are some of the more notable picks per round in the first half of the 2012 draft. The Reaches, the Big Value picks, the WTF’s, and the Snipes are always the most interesting aspects of the draft and can make or break an owner’s season. The draft doesn’t necessarily insure your future as a League Champion – or Cellar Dweller (Nape), but it certainly sets the stage for how your fantasy season plays out.

Round 1

The biggest story of round 1 is the P Body selection of Ray Rice at #2 overall. It’s widely known/regarded that sure thing – high ceiling QB’s are the most valuable players in the league. P Body goes against the grain and weeks of preparation and consulting by picking the arguable #1 RB.

Lil Chea, after publicly announcing he could’ve done more preparation, takes Tony (Homo) Romo #9 overall. Some may call it a Reach, I literally reacted with an audible “WTF”; Lil Chea knows the value of getting a QB early, only time will tell if Romo can live up to the Round 1 selection.

Michael Vick… the most explosive, dynamic player in the league - at the most important position on the team. ALSO, the most likely to-get-injured player in the league. Austin takes Vick #10 overall and puts his hopes and prayers on the ‘Dog Fighter’ in a high-risk/high-reward type pick.

Round 2

Austin selects Big Play CJ – Calvin Johnson with the 1 pick of the second round. The next receiver after Calvin is not selected till 27 picks later in the 4th round.

DKin snipes Jimmy Graham 1 pick ahead of Colin (#16 overall) – to keep the Brees to Graham connection a mirage of huge potential. Controversy surrounds this pick as the Commissioner ‘swears he didn’t set this up’ with his previous statement “I sure hope Colin doesn’t get Jimmy Graham too…” This pick leads to a torrential downpour of trade talks between Danny, Jensen (who creams for Graham), and Colin following the draft.

“Maurice Jones-Drew reports to camp” scrolled across TV sets the day of the draft, most people say “ehhhh”, P Body literally blows his load. MJD is taken in the second round (#19 overall) by P Body.

Round 3

Round 3 was a predictable round for everyone, only notable note to note is only QB’s and RB’s were taken.

Round 4

Mike somehow snatches Matt Schaub as the 2nd pick of the 4th round. A player that could easily finish in top 10 of qb’s. Good Value.

The Ghastin stays true to his draft day maneuvers and takes the 1st of the rookie QB’s, with the selection of Andrew Luck at the 4th spot of round 4 (#34 overall). Ghastin hit on Cam Newton very late in the draft last year and it paid HUGE dividends – can he strike gold again with Luck?

Terry hysterically picks RG3 – Robert Griffin the III with the 4th pick of round 4, making the pre-draft Jensen/Cheadle guarantee come true. Terry loves rookies (especially ones with sweet nicknames), and everyone knows it.

DKin lands Ryan Mathews as the #36 overall pick. Some experts tout Mathews as the potential #1 scorer in all Fantasy (standard scoring). However, his injury history makes him a question mark, Danny finds the perfect time to get the lottery ticket. Great Value.

Round 5

The Big Man – Jensen – takes Shonn Greene with the 3rd pick of the 5th round (#43 ovl) and people laugh. Why do people laugh? BECAUSE HE TAKES HIM EVERY YEAR, it seems. Shonn Greene is one of the more interesting players this year, as the Jets will rely more on the ground game, but a TRBL offense may make him worthless.

Danny like Gronk. Gronk still like Colin. There will be plenty of TE handies for DKin has he stocks up on elite TE’s landing Gronk at #45 overall. Great Value.

Reggie Bush, the professional flex-player goes off the board at the 8th spot in the 5th round to the Commish (I’ve Got Bush). Potentially landing the game changing RB late in the fifth after down-siders Bradshaw and Gore are selected. Good Value.

Round 6

Austin selects the Sophomore QB Andy Dalton at the 1st spot in the 6th round. Dalton may have been a stretch with savvy Vets Bradford and Palmer still on the board. Austin will rely on Dalton heavily when (if) Vick goes down. Scary situation.

Ghastin goes down on Pettigrew….. taking him #54 overall.

Round 7

P Body once again leaves people scratching their heads by passing up Brandon Marshall and selecting the unproven, if not promising young QB Russell Wilson with the 2nd pick of round 7. P Body passed on the opportunity to have the historically brilliant Cutler-Marshall connection. C’monnn mannnn.

Ghastin. C.J. (the Oil-Spill) Spiller at #67? Ced Benson, Peyton Hillis, and David Wilson still on the board? That’s too early for him, bro.

Round 8

Talk about a Snipe with Terry selecting Cedric Benson with the 5th pick of the 8th round. Following this pick Danny goes onto to have his anticipated emotional meltdown making Terry’s pick the Snipe of the draft. I also wanted Benson at the turn (you, asshole)

Jensen lands perhaps the most short-term upside rookie RB with David Wilson at #78 overall. Good pick, with Wilson primed to be the best rookie RB the second half of the season… or whenever Bradshaw hurts his foot again.

Give Statutory Nape Aaron Hernandez as the last pick of the 8th round. Some experts predict Hernandez will have the best stats of any New England TE by the end of the season. I’ll take that upside all day.

Special Recognition

Ghastin takes Reggie Wayne as the 7th pick of the 9th round, and people finally start to realize Ghastin isn’t the same Ghastin of old. And that he actually may know what he’s doing now. Wayne is a unanimous sleeper this year, tied to the touted best rookie QB in NFL history. Ghastin may have landed Reggie Wayne - and his stats we haven’t seen since the Manning days. Good Value.

Summary

The draft has seen major strategy erosion into an all-out everyone use a ‘Jensen Model’ of drafting by taking all QB’s and RB’s early. 11 of the top 20 picks were QB’s and 7 were RB’s. Those numbers are right in line with how the top 20 scoring players shook out last year – 12 of the top 20 were QB’s and 5 were RB’s. Perhaps the league has caught up with the ideal method of drafting. Maybe the new reception points addition will change things. Hell, Ghastin could take home the trophy this year -how crazy would that have sounded at this time 2 years ago?! One thing is for sure, no one will know till the games play out!

Jensen Boyz 2012 Surprise Performance

2012-09-03T09:14:00.002-07:00

The 2012 Ghastin Performance

2012-09-03T09:12:00.000-07:00

Boyz in the League Lyrics

2012-09-02T10:27:00.003-07:00

Woke up quick at about noon

Just thought that I had to be drafting soon

I gotta get drunk before the day begins

Before Danny start’s bitchin’ about draft trends

About to go and what did I find?

Uncle Nape on the street throwin' up gang signs

I went in the house to check my his stats

After the loss to Ghastin, his team fell flat

He failed at life and he never recovered

Planet of the Napes was run by his mother

She jumped at the chance', the Ghastin Cup was hers

She brought Napes back, from the curb

We just want to see Austin play

He thinks he knows his shit on Draft Day

He’s all, 'Gangster, Gangster' at the top of the league

If we ever find him, Chea will collect his fees

'Cruisin' down the street in my six-fo'

Draftin’ Receivers, Cuttin’ the Tebows

I went to the bar to talk some trash

Collin’s obsessed with Streak for the Cash.

A car pulls up, who can it be?

It’s Terry behind the wheel from what I can see

He rolls down the window and he starts to say

"It's all about winning that Championship."

'Cause the boyz in the league are always hard

Come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card

Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit

No quotes for Mike, he ain't said shit

Bored as hell and I wanna get ill

So I go to a place where Ghastin chills

The Commish out there tryna make that dolla

I pulled up in my six-fo' Impala

Greeted with a 40 and I start drinkin'

After 1-12, Chea starts thinkin’

He gotta get his team, to score some points

Where’s Smokey at when I need a joint?

Pulled to the house, get him out of the pad

And Jensen said somethin' to make me mad

He said somethin' that I couldn't believe

So I grabbed the stupid bitch by his nappy-ass weave

He started talkin' shit, wouldn't cha know

He ditched the Lions for a Kelly Clarkson Show

And his brother stood up and he started to shout

So I threw a right cross and knocked his punk ass out

'Cause the boyz in the league are always hard

Come talkin' that trash and we'll pull your card

Knowin' nothin' in life but to be legit

No quotes for Mike, He ain't said shit

Boyz in the League

2012-09-02T09:52:00.000-07:00

It's Draft Day fellas! To apologize for my absence, I have a little surprise prepared...Enjoy!

League Fees Rising?

2012-08-14T04:54:00.003-07:00

League fees in the Sea General Napes Fantasy Football League are like the price of gas and opposite of Ghastin's weight...always on the rise. As the league becomes increasing competitive and we all start moving out of the broke ass college kid phase of our lives, what's another $10 for the chance at eternal glory?

The proposal on the table for this year's league fees is $50 per team. The payouts are as follows:

1st Place: $250

2nd Place: $125

3rd Place: $75

Each week, the highest scoring team will get a $5 bonus.

Let's get the vote out of the way before the draft and vote on the increase in fees and the new payout structure. PBody has offered to sponsor the remaining $15 balance that would be needed to cover the $5 bonus each week. If you agree with this structure, comment on this post and make sure to sign your name.

Pre Draft Controversy

2012-08-07T04:39:00.003-07:00

It seems that once again we have a battle of the Sea General Napes purist party, which consists of Jensen, PBody, Napes, Terry, and Commish, and the "I want to change shit for the sake of changing shit" party, which consists of Danny with Collin as an active supporter.

This year's hot topic is draft order. Traditionally, the only person who has the advantage of preparing for the draft knowing which place they are drafting in is the winner of the prestigious Ghastin Cup. This high honor gives the winner a tremendous advantage of not only knowing which spot they draft in, but the opportunity to choose their draft position. So far, every Ghastin Cup winner has chosen to draft number one.

Rumors are that this year's winner, Napes, has his eye on a nontraditional choice. Will he break the mold and give up the first overall pick to have a more favorable position? Or will he take the sure bet and take the first overall pick?

The new proposal by the "I want to change shit for the sake of changing shit" party is to determine the draft order prior to draft day, giving each player an equal advantage of knowing their draft order. This would allow for each player to plan a strategy around their drafting position and focus their studies and attention on a specific group of players for each round. The purist party's media representative had the following statement.

"The Sea General Napes Fantasy Football League is touted as the most competitive league in the world. Changing the policies and procedures that laid the foundation of that reputation is simply not an option."

Stay tuned for more developments of this...developing...story.

Week 8 Storylines

2011-11-02T11:48:00.000-07:00

Despite "Lovin' Dem Cocks," PBody Defeats Napes: In the match-up of the week, PBody's Stafford/Johnson connection lands him a much needed victory, propelling Napes into "must win" mode for the rest of the season.

Ghastin's Two TE Strategy Fails: If Ghastin would spend more time focusing on his roster rather than composing epic parodies, maybe he wouldn't have had to play two TEs this week. This week, there are REAL rumors that Ghastin is composing another masterpiece...

Cheadle's Run at History is Still Alive: I didn't think that it was possible to go winless in fantasy football...but the Commish is trying his damnedest!

Danny Crawls Back into the Playoff Picture: Back to back wins give Danny a shot at sneaking into the playoffs with possibly one of the worst teams in fantasy football history. I thought the "Suck for Luck" campaign meant that you were supposed to LOSE.

Commish's Paradise

2011-10-30T09:30:00.000-07:00

No words can describe. Thanks Ghastin.

Week 7 Storylines

2011-10-26T10:57:00.000-07:00

PBody Sucks: Both at updating this blog and at maintaining a winning fantasy football team. After starting 3-1, the guy with the puppy dog eyes is on a three game skid. However, a favorable match-up against his long time rival, Uncle Nape, could help him get back on track in week 8. With Napes starting Tavaris Jackson and John Beck, it should be an interesting match-up.

Commish Sucks Worse: Seven losses in a row...normally I'd make some joke here about how bad Chea's team is, but it's not even funny anymore. You have the league's sympathy bro.

Danny Focuses on Ghastin Cup: With the season written off by Danny, his team is starting to consist of players who have solid match-ups during the weeks of the Ghastin Cup. Too bad the Tebow pick-up came too late to the savior of Danny's season.

Collin Over Achieves: 5-2 and leading your division? Really? Starting Alex Smith must be the secret to fantasy football success...

Surprise of the Season = Ghastin: It's been rumored that if Ghastin makes the playoffs, he will give a surprise performance of a brand new parody via YouTube to inspire his team to win his first ever championship.

Week 3 Storylines

2011-09-28T16:34:00.000-07:00

DKin's Team Gets Worse: In the second big trade of the year, Danny gives up the 2nd overall pick, Ray Rice, to pick up a struggling running back and the upstart QB Ryan Fitzpatrick. Now PBody has a legit running back and Danny finally has a real starting QB. Both teams got better...but why does Danny's still look so bad?

Cellar Dweller Napes Starts to Climb: Uncle Nape topped the charts this week scoring 177.71. So far Napes has two of the top five scoring players in football...but he's still 1-2. Is he on his way out of the cellar or is he doomed to a cold, dark, and damp season?

Bottom Three Teams Kinda Suck: Mike, Chea, and Danny are all off to 0-3 starts. Both Danny and Chea have made big moves in attempts to salvage their teams and Mike..well...he's just had players get hurt. All three need wins this week to get on track and try to turn things around.

Ghastin Cup in Jeopardy: Will the Ghastin Cup be a legitimate tournament this year if Ghastin actually...makes the PLAYOFFS? Will it turn into the L Chea cup? Or the DKin cup? Somehow...those just don't have the same ring to at as the Ghastin Cup...

Austin and Collin Imitate the Lions: Austin is 3-0...Collin is 3-0...and THE LIONS ARE 3-0!!! It's a good week folks.

Jensen Rant #1 for 2011

2011-09-27T04:17:00.000-07:00

Updated Odds and Line Moves

2011-09-23T17:18:00.000-07:00

After two weeks of action, PBody is still taking action on predicting the champion of the Sea General Napes Fantasy Football League in 2011. The odds have changed a bit based on the draft and performance.

Jensen: 4 to 1. After a sub-par draft from the big man, the odds shot down as low as 10 to 1 on Jensen winning it all. Following the blockbuster trade a few days ago where he acquired Aaron Rodgers, the line stabilized at his preseason odds. His team will undoubtedly be in the mix come week 13.

Ghastin: 19 to 1. Many of Ghastin's draft choices were followed by raised eyebrows and the occasional "wow." Usually this would mean that the draft picks were surprisingly bad...but with Ghastin...his picks were (for the most part) surprisingly good. With a 1-1 record going into week 3, Ghastin has as good of a chance as anyone of making the playoffs.

Collin: 5 to 1: Collin is off to a 2-0 start on the back of Tom Brady and his 10,000,000 yards in the first two games. If Brady continues his trend (or even comes back down to Earth a bit), Collin will be a tough out when playoff time comes around.

Chea: 15 to 1. Chea's team just doesn't look that good. He just traded the #1 QB in the league for some more stability, but one of those players (Beanie Wells) just showed up on the injury report as having a hamstring injury.

PBody: 7 to 1. Banking on Matthew Stafford staying healthy, the Robot put his hopes and dreams of a Sea General Napes Championship in the Lions. He was quoted saying "It's nice having the entire league root for my team every week. I mean, how could you root against these Puppy Dog Eyes?"

Napes: 14 to 1. With his first round draft pick hampered by injury, it's going to be a tough go for Uncle Nape. He's 0-2 in a tough division. His handcuff running back got drafted in round 7...by another team. His team is going to have to explode for the next few weeks for him to get back in the picture.

Austin: 5 to 1. Austin's scored the 2nd highest points in the league in the first two weeks, leading him to a 2-0 record. Everyone will be hoping that his first round draft pick, AP, pulls a hammy this weekend against the Lions, but the rest of his team has looked strong. And he has perhaps the greatest team name in fantasy football history.

Terry: 4 to 1. Terry had arguably the best draft and still has one of the scariest teams in the league. Many owners would be happy starting most of the players on his bench. So far it's looking like this is Terry's year to lose.

Mike: 25 to 1. For some reason, no one took the bait on the preseason steal of betting on Mike at 20 to 1. Following the draft, it looked like his team was going to be as competitive as anyone. Two weeks later, he's at the bottom on points scored and on the bottom of his division. Some young talent on his roster might be able to salvage his season, but it better be soon. Otherwise, he might be making a strong case for the Ghastin Cup.

Danny: 13 to 1. After a devastating injury to Peyton Manning, Danny's team went from being a breakout running back away from a championship to bottom of the barrel panic mode. Still wheeling and dealing, Danny is doing his best to get back into form for the remainder of the season...but it's not looking that promising.

Send any bets to Casino PBody, SC.

Week 2 Storylines

2011-09-23T15:33:00.000-07:00

Offensive Explosion Makes Everyone Look Good: No one sucked this week. The lowest point total came from Danny (surprise) at 123.66. Apparently everyone in the NFL forgot how to play defense.

Jensen and Cheadle Make High Impact Trade: Who would have thought that the Commish would panic and deal his #1 pick after only two games? Jensen's strategy of drafting 800 running backs seems to have worked as now he is starting two elite QBs and still has three respectable running backs. Sigh...here we go again.

Napes Starts 0-2 and Scores More Total Points than PBody (2-0): Fantasy football is all about who you're playing and so far everyone who PBody has played...has sucked.

Collin Takes Down Ghastin: Even with Eddie Royal in his lineup, Ghastin couldn't pull out the victory against long time rival Collin. Ghastin later was quoted "I think Collin cheated when he drafted Brady."

Terry Drops 183: Talk about overkill...Terry won by 55 points this week. Looks like PBody's line of 20 to 1 for Mike to win the championship this year was accurate after all.

Week 1 Storylines

2011-09-13T20:32:00.000-07:00

Match-up of the Week does not disappoint: Even though Napes seemed to be down and out going into Monday night, he road Welker's 30.40 performance all the way to being a Darren McFadden TD away from a victory. PBody's solid passing game and non-existent running game combined for juuuuust enough for the win. Good thing Cedric Benson plays on a team with no quarterback...

Danny starts two QBs who wouldn't make most of our rosters...and still would have beat half the league: Danny's solid running backs (even though Jackson only carried the ball once) carried him to a strong outing, but he ran into Tom Brady's redonkulous 500 yard game. Sorry 'bout your luck.

Mike gets rolled: Talk about a rough week. Only two of Mike's starters reached their projected scores. So much for Ghastin being an easy win...can anyone say dark horse?

Collin scores top points: Surprise, surprise. Collin tops out week one at 171.78 points. Far from the league record, but a great showing from the prodigy. So that's why you wanted to give $$$ for most points...

We have just one more headline this week...

JENSEN LOSES!!!

For only the 12th time in just over three seasons, Jensen got his ass whipped...and the peasants rejoiced.