Between the Seams

MSM is coming around.

2010-02-27T20:21:00.000-08:00

Nice try from Yahoo's Dan Wetzel in which he wonders aloud why figure skating is considered a sport. Huzzah to Dan for finally trying to disabuse people of the notion that the sole criterion for whether or not something is a Sport is that the activity be difficult. Unfortunately, even the esteemed Mr. Wetzel has yet to fully appreciate what it takes for an activity to become a sport."A sport

True Stories

2010-01-26T18:23:00.001-08:00

The missus and I had a rare night out on the town last Saturday. We happened across a trendy new bar downtown where the bartenders were exceedingly hot, the drinks expensive, and the bouncers big and black. What struck me about the bouncers was not the fact that they were black, and it wasn't that they were big. What struck me was that they looked like teddy bears. Seriously, the place was "

Semi-annual World Cup Post

2009-12-04T19:13:00.000-08:00

On the off-chance that you've been hiding under a rock all day (or generally oblivious), know that the 2010 World Cup Draw occurred today. The US got a favorable draw, being placed in Group C, along with England, Algeria, and Slovenia. Barring an outright catastrophe, the US should advance to the knock-out stage. So . . . I guess that's good. (If you're actually interested in some analysis by

The Actual Best TV Dramas of the 00's

2009-11-14T01:28:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite winter traditions, as a baseball fan, is the annual offseason argument over the Hall of Fame voting. Now that the decade is coming to to an end, The Onion AV Club has rolled out its own sort of Televisual Hall of Fame: its list of The Best TV Series of the '00s.Unfortunately, their list is painfully gay—and not in the good way. They include some stupid shows, leave off some

Fuck the Yankees, 2009 Edition

2009-10-28T15:13:00.000-07:00

I'm deeply ambivalent about such a mediocre team as Philadelphia getting a second straight World Series title, but look at the alternative:"It's been six years since the Yanks have played in the World Series," Pettitte said during Tuesday's interview sessions, "but it seems like an eternity."Six. Years. You know what else feels like an eternity? An actual eternity, which is how long the Mariners

Fall 2009 TV Round-Up

2009-09-25T15:12:00.000-07:00

Herein, my opinions on the comedy and drama shows currently on the air in the US:Shows I Love and Would Totally MarryLost, 30 Rock, Friday Night Lights, Mad Men, Party Down, Burn Notice, Breaking Bad, Better off Ted, House, How I Met Your Mother are all great shows that rarely have an off day. Joining them is Community, easily the best new show of the season and, based on the first two episodes,

Your Favorite Band Sucks

2009-06-21T12:52:00.001-07:00

I go on a lot of dates with younger girls. This makes me a total badass, but that's a separate topic for another day.The main drawback of going out with young chicks is that you don't get to touch their taut nubile bodies until you've put in a decent amount of time listening to their shit. To say that this can be tiresome is like saying that driving a railroad spike into your ear can be

Nostradamus was a fag

2009-02-23T10:45:00.000-08:00

Most visionary savants are unappreciated in their time, languishing in obscurity until their genius is re-discovered by later generations. Thankfully I have two things going for me that those retrograde primates didn't: a blog with hyperlinks, and absolutely no sense of modesty where vigorous public self-fellation is concerned.As a case in point, the Mariners recently signed Ken Griffey Jr.,

The Best Part of the Inauguration . . .

2009-01-20T09:44:00.000-08:00

That it was thankfully devoid of "God Bless America." What are the odds that Major League Baseball will get the hint and ban GBA from the hallowed 7th Inning Stretch?God, I hate "God Bless America"!

Definitive Guide to TV Comedy

2008-11-26T09:41:00.000-08:00

A lot of people don't know this, but I used to write for the funniest Website on the entire Internet. So I'm kind of a big deal. It's with these impeccable credentials that I offer this companion to our earlier Definitive Guide to TV Drama...spanky's 10 Favorite TV Comedies (Winter '08)30 Rock - Tina Fey is a brilliant writer, actress, and businesswoman ("I don't think that's a word"); Alec

Los Angeles is Burning II: Burn Harder

2008-11-20T13:16:00.000-08:00

IsCaliforniaOnFire.com has answered YES for the past week, and at this point may just continue to do so indefinitely.As tragic as it is when so much property is destroyed, whenever this happens I'm always pleasantly reminded of my favorite band. So there's an upside.

I like my ballplayers scrappy and white

2008-11-18T17:29:00.000-08:00

Congratulations to Dustin Pedroia, the reigning AL MVP.This was originally intended to be a post about how the average baseball beat writer has a soft spot in his heart for relatively small, scrappy white players. Then I looked at Pedroia's stats, and [shrug] he had a quality season. Baseball Prospectus shows that Pedroia's as good a choice as any field players up for the award. So, the ire

Right where we want them.

2008-11-07T16:35:00.000-08:00

Throughout Ezra's far-traveled life, he's heard a statement common to all underdogs. The three most recent times I've heard this are:A. Olympic Basketball gold medal game, late in the 4th quarter with US leading Spain by about 10 points: "Spain has the US right where they want them."B. Boston Red Sox down 3 game to 1 against the Tampa Bay Rays: "We [BoSox] have them [Rays] right where we

Sarah Palin's retarded holes

2008-11-04T10:22:00.000-08:00

One final thought for today's election, before we retire from political commentary for good:

No John!

2008-10-07T20:14:00.000-07:00

Watching the Presidential "debate" tonight showed a glaring weakness in John McCain. The guy is flat out not funny. I recall at least 3 "jokes" or "quips" or "witticisms" that were intended to be "funny."Reminded me of high school. To wit, reminded me of me in high school.Speaking of high school, would that this reminded me of high school. But it doesn't, so I'm reduced to vicariously living

Definitive Guide to TV Drama

2008-10-04T12:40:00.000-07:00

Holy fuck, there's a lot of great stuff on television these days. With the cable networks fully investing in drama series, and the continued trend toward complex season-long story arcs, it's increasingly clear that the center of gravity for great screenwriting has moved from film to television. To help make sense of it all, we present...spanky's 15 Favorite TV Dramas (Fall '08)Lost / The Shield (

The Beginning of the End

2008-09-28T09:39:00.000-07:00

It's rather unfortunate that the apex of the Baseball season coincides with the advent of the Football season. Alas, as unfortunate as it may be, it is as the gods have willed, and who am I to counter what the gods have dictated. Lost in the fanfare for the NFL, though, are two great playoff races that are coming down to the wire. Consider:AL CentralTwins 87 74 -Chisox 86 74

Olympic Games - not Sports

2008-08-06T18:55:00.000-07:00

The Olympic Games start in 2 days. Huzzah or shrug? I, for one, look forward to the Olympic Games. I like to pride myself on my level-headed appreciation of the US's place within the world, but international contests like the Olympics allow my jingoistic, nationalistic, xenophobic nature to assume it's rightful place. Badminton? Track & Field? Field Hockey? I normally wouldn't give a rat's

Because it's not possible to un-see something

2008-07-28T16:23:00.000-07:00

The line outside of Comic-Con really needs one of those Disneyland-style markers: if your belly extends past HERE then you are not allowed to be wearing a superhero costume. Or tights. Either change your outfit, or go home and cry about the mean policy to your pet turtle and/or iguana.You're a nerd who just wants to dress up and have some fun? Also, you're fat? Fair enough. You can dress up

Oh my, they'll patent ANYTHING these days

2008-07-17T19:23:00.000-07:00

If you could patent anything, what would you patent? I don't suppose it would be this, eh?Apparently, Joe W. Armstrong of Lenoir, TN, was concerned that previous ass-kicking devices had to be reloaded or reset after each individual spanking. When kicking your own ass, Mr. Armstrong does not believe you should be troubled with having to reset the apparatus."Therefore, it is an object of the

As if I needed ANOTHER reason not to watch the NBA

2008-07-07T18:52:00.000-07:00

Like most any kid in Seattle, I grew up with the Sonics. I was young, callow, naive, so I followed the NBA. Even when I was convinced that the Jazz cheated (especially Stockton and Hornacek being the biggest transgressors), or that the NBA didn't want Seattle to win another title (how else do you explain consecutive first round losses as the No. 1 seed), I monitored the Sonics from afar. The

Summer LULZ

2008-07-02T10:53:00.000-07:00

My colleague deserves all of the shit he gets for being such a giant soccer homo. With that said, it is also true that I like tennis, which is hardly the manliest of sports:Hat tip: fellow tennis buddy Subcom (pictured, right)In summer movie news, I have perilously high expectations for both Dark Knight and the new Coen Bros movie, Burn After Reading. These movies could both reverse time and

Euro 2008, a Great Spectacle of Sport

2008-06-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

An unfortunate consequence of not being in grad school any more is that I can't just cut out of work to watch Euro2008. But I was off last Friday, and watched Italy-Romania. I can't stand Italy. Verily, they are the Syracuse of international Soccer. Whenever Italy wins, my day is noticeably worse.Anyway, I'm amazed that the American sports "Fan" thinks Soccer is inherently any more boring than

Sports . . . Always the Teacher

2008-05-27T19:19:00.000-07:00

As a decent American, I observed Memorial Day. What better way to honor the men and women who served our blessed country than to sit on my lazy ass and watch TV. As I sat and watched, I realized a few things: God does weekday TV suck! If not for the NCAA Lacrosse championship and the Yankees-Orioles game, TV would have been absolutely devoid of value. Seriously, how can people sit at home

You choose the caption

2008-05-20T18:49:00.000-07:00

Now we know where spanky's detachable penis went. As Jay said: "That's funny, yo."