secret notebooks • wild pages

The Ending

2017-03-25T22:46:00.001-04:00

"All things must pass" it is said, and after close to a decade of blogging I feel that Secret Notebooks, Wild Pages has more than fulfilled its purpose - to "give birth to something new," to connect with like-minded individuals, and to "write for the world to read and see yr exact pictures of it" as Kerouac advised, which I've tried to do here through words, poetry, photography and art.

2,703 posts in all.

From mheart to Umā; from New England to New Mexico, from the corporate world of publishing to the classrooms of Ayurveda - what a great joy to openly share the alchemical changes the past 10 years have brought. The blog seems to have grown both from me and with me through a myriad of life experiences — loss and gain, pain and pleasure. Lessons learned, more lessons to come.

And what a great honor to share your transformative journeys as well, in the virtual gathering-place that the internet provides.

But "the alchemy of a changing life is the only truth" says Rumi,
and the time has come to focus entirely on personal writing projects, teaching, and continuing to walk this path of studying with and assisting my mentor.

Remember Kerouac's Rules for Spontaneous Prose, the first of which (Scribbled secret notebooks, and wild typewritten pages, for yr own joy) inspired the name of this blog. "Be in love with your life" and, most importantly I think, "Believe in its holy contour."

I wish you all the best on your journeys.

Sincerely,

Umā

I used to want buyers for my words.
Now I wish someone would buy me away from words.
I've made a lot of charmingly profound images,
scenes with Abraham, and Abraham's father, Azar,
who was also famous for icons.

I'm so tired of what I've been doing.

Then one image without form came, and I quit.

Look for someone else to tend the shop.
I'm out of the image-making business.

Finally I know the freedom
of madness.

A random image arrives. I scream,
"Get out!" It disintegrates.

Only love.
Only the holder the flag fits into,
and wind.

No flag.

— Rumi

2017-03-24T23:57:00.001-04:00

“It is a tremendous grace, then, and a great privilege when a person living in the world we have to live in suddenly loses his interest in the things that absorb that world, and discovers in his own soul an appetite for poverty and solitude. And the most precious of all the gifts of nature or grace is the desire to be hidden and to vanish from the sight of men and be accounted as nothing by the world and to disappear from one’s own self-conscious consideration and vanish into nothingness in the immense poverty that is the adoration of God. This absolute emptiness, this poverty, this obscurity holds within it the secret of all joy because it is full of God.”

— Thomas Merton, New Seeds of Contemplation (1962)

Space for Peace

2017-03-18T00:25:00.003-04:00

My meditation and yoga room has a brand new look - a cork floor, new trim along the floor and windows, a new wide windowsill above the altar. It's a pleasure to enter this room in the morning with the sun streaming in and do my practice.

And drink chai.

It looked like this last August...

2017-02-17T23:56:00.000-05:00

"Let only that little be left of me whereby I may name thee my all.

Let only that little be left of my will whereby I may feel thee

on every side, and come to thee in everything, and offer to thee

my love every moment. Let only that little be left of me whereby

I may never hide thee. Let only that little of my fetters be left whereby I am bound with thy will, and thy purpose is carried out

in my life — and that is the fetter of thy love."

- V34 of the Gitanjali, Tagore

Awake

2017-02-12T00:40:00.000-05:00

"Where the mind is without fear and the head is held high; Where knowledge is free; Where the world has not been broken up into fragments by narrow domestic walls; Where words come out from the depths of truth; Where tireless striving stretches its arms towards perfection; Where the clear stream of reason has not lost its way into the dreary desert sand of dead habit; Where the mind is led forward by thee into ever-widening thought and action - Into that heaven of freedom, my Father, let my country awake."

- Verse 35 of the Gitanjali, Rabindranath Tagor

I don't generally talk mundane things like politics with my Teacher, but one night last week during our tea break we ventured into a conversation about how frightening things have become.

"We should pray for America." he concluded before we walked back to the classroom. His eyes searched mine.

I read this verse tonight in the Gitanjali, a truly swoon-worthy piece of work by Tagor. I think I've found the perfect prayer.

Ever New

2017-01-15T00:44:00.002-05:00

"My poet's vanity dies in shame before thy sight.

O master poet, I have sat down at thy feet.

Only let me make my life simple and straight,

like a flute of reed for thee to fill with music."

- Tagore

And then, as quickly as he walked out of sight in the New Jersey Lufthansa airport terminal, he walks back in and an intense new year begins.

The More Things Change...

2016-12-31T14:39:00.001-05:00

Bear. 5 months older, 40 lbs heavier.

Cuddly and spoiled as ever.

This is still our morning routine - Bear snuggling up to me for a while as soon as I let him out of his crate at the foot of the bed in the morning.

Organ Mountains!

2016-12-30T22:46:00.001-05:00

This week J and I took his new camper to a campground in the Organ Mountains, about 4 hours south of Albuquerque and about 35 miles from El Paso, TX and the border of Juarez, Mexico.

Since it was both mid-week and off-season we had the campground mostly to ourselves. Even if we hadn't, the sites were designed in such a way to provide a lot of natural privacy, each nestled amongst Juniper and Live Oak, towering Sotol and Aligator Pine.

And each sits also had a stunning view of the Organ Mountains and the plains of Southern New Mexico, all the way to the White Sands National Monument, which glowed white in the distance.

This striking rock face reminded us of Ganesh, rising out of the earth.

The 4 mile Pine Tree Loop trail led us up into the mountains, past bubbling springs and ancient trees and across breathtaking vistas. It was some of the most spectacular hiking we've ever done and we were blessed with beautiful weather - sunny, 65 degrees.

I collected some Datura seeds from a dried plant we found along the trail, the plant being sacred to Lord Shiva.

Shortly after this half-way point on the trail Bear met two big bear-like dogs (both were, interestingly, named after bear characters). Later that evening their owner brought them to our site so they could play some more while we shared an interesting conversation with him.

The dried stalk of a Sotol plant, or Desert Spoon as they are also called. Hoping to grow some of these in the yard next summer...

Camp site! J's little trailer makes it easier to prepare food and sleep comfortably up off the ground. I forgot to take a photo of the propane shower unit he also brought along - but suffice to say there is nothing like taking a hot shower beneath some beautiful oak trees with a view of the mountains all around you! It's practically "glamping" compared to what we're used to.

The best way to end a camping trip in New Mexico is with some authentic local food - in this case at Carmen's Cafe in Truth & Consequences. Bean, rice and potato burrito smothered in green chili sauce for me and blue corn enchiladas for J, smothered in "Christmas" sauce, which means half red and half green chilis. Delicious! We were even served by Carmen, the owner.

It was a wonderful way to end the Christmas break from school.

2016-12-28T10:31:00.001-05:00

"Every day this separation, this December hoping for spring..." -Rumi

Simple Christmas Snapshots

2016-12-26T00:45:00.001-05:00

Christmas Eve

2016-12-24T19:34:00.002-05:00

Herbal "shrub," a blend of fresh pine needles, dried orange peel and elderberries soaked in raw apple cider vinegar and local honey. Though I made it today it will need to sit for a few weeks before it's ready.

Stilling the mind, embracing silence and simplicity, practicing small acts of kindness, watching the first stars appear over the orange and blue-hued Albuquerque horizon from my seat at the kitchen table tonight.

Merry Christmas, however and wherever you are.

2016-12-22T21:53:00.002-05:00

Solstice

2016-12-21T21:13:00.003-05:00

I imagine that only in New Mexico is it common to see Christmas trees decorated entirely with skeletons. Saints and crosses fill the walls of shops in Old Town, chili ristras laced with jute or fashioned into holiday wreathes decorate the doorways.

Santa Maria de Guadalupe looks over all. On December 12, 1551 she appeared in Mexico to a 57-year old peasant named Juan Diego. When he tried to tell the Bishop what he had seen there was, of course, a good bit of doubt. So the Virgin gave Juan Diego instructions to take flowers back to the Bishop as a sign, and when he climbed a nearby hill he found Castillian Roses in bloom - which were neither in season at the time nor native to the area. He cut and took the blooms back to the Bishop, but when he opened his tilma, his burlap coat, the real sign appeared. Not only did the unusual roses fall onto the floor, but an image of the Virgin of Guadalupe was found to be imprinted on the course fabric. This led to the conversion of 9 million Aztecs within a 7 year period.

There are lots of mysteries around the tilma, which is still on display at a Basillica in Mexico City. First, it is a mystery that the poor quality cactus-fiber coat still exists at all and has not deteriorated after 470 years. Second, the tilma remains unscathed after both a nitric acid spill in 1785 and a bombing to the church in 1921.

Apparently, scientists can't find any brushstrokes used in the creation of the image of the Virgin either, as if it was created all at once - and the technique used for its unusual iridescence can not be duplicated. The only other place the same subtle luminosity is found is in nature - on bird wings and beetle elytra, for example

To make things more interesting, the tilma is said to maintain a constant temperature of 98.6 degrees Fahrenheit, the same as that of a living person. And when scientists studied the eyes of the Virgin at 2500x magnification, the reflections of 13 people can be seen - some say it is a snapshot of the moment Juan Diego opened his worn tilma for the Bishop, an image of all those who looked on.

Fascinating. I love mysteries.

The carving above is from a little shrine to Our Lady of Guadalupe in an Old Town plaza.

I am a foreigner to my own family,a stranger to my own motherʼs children;for zeal for your house consumes me,and the insults of those who insult you fall on me. - Psalm 69

Tonight is the darkest of the year - the darkest in 500 years they say. Indeed, what dark times we are plunging ever deeper into. But - at least as it works in the macrocosm - after the darkest night the light returns. I believe the same will be true for the microcosm of our society. How long the dark night will last, however, I don't know. That remains a mystery.

After their final exam last week my students presented me with a card and a dream-catcher one of them had made for my window. They all wrote such incredible notes on the inside that I sat in my office afterwards and cried reading them.

Despite a previously very active and prophetic dream life, the only dream I seem to have left to catch these past couple of years is one of my Teacher coming to hug me. God willing, he will return to the US safely in two weeks, and do just that.

By then, it will be just a little bit lighter.

25 Days...

2016-12-09T22:37:00.002-05:00

As the first trimester comes to a close with final exams next week, my 161 day wait for the return of my Teacher dwindles like the early December light...

Class games

Nutrition class end of trimester pot luck

Early winter sunsets

Goofy.

Snuggly.

A tiny beam of light.

2016-12-03T19:02:00.000-05:00

"One can listen to the statement that there is no darkness or division. Hearing that statement from an enlightened person brings some clarity and helps to dispel my darkness. When such a person speaks, one can hear in the darkness. The statement that there is no division helps me wipe out my darkness. A tiny beam of light begins to penetrate. That is what a mantra does. A mantra is a word coming from the heart of a wise person. This person says, "There is no division." That statement helps to wipe away the center of darkness. It is a glimpse of the light. Then I have to meditate upon it and the spark becomes a wave. Then this particular mind is no longer a particular mind. It becomes universal and the light is glimpsed. The moment the glimpse becomes a constant phenomenon, the person is enlightened. We have glimpses of enlightenment, just a flash of light. When there is flash after flash after flash , it becomes constant. The light becomes broader and more encompassing. It begins to pulsate in our very being."

- Textbook of Ayurveda, Vasant Lad

And the World is Passing Away.

2016-11-30T01:43:00.001-05:00

"Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. For all that is in the world — the desires of the flesh and the desires of the eyes and pride of life — is not from the Father but is from the world. And the world is passing away along with its desires, but whoever does the will of God abides forever." John 2 15-17

Gratitude

2016-11-25T00:45:00.001-05:00

Despite everything going on the world, I tried to focus on gratitude today. I am grateful that last Friday night my living room filled to capacity with students for a kirtan - I love these guys!

Grateful for the health and time off that allowed me to spend Thanksgiving hiking in the snowy Santa Fe Mountains with J and Bear, my little turkey. Grateful for the smell of pinion pine burning as we walked around the city afterwards.

Grateful that after 25 years of lugging around this old 3-speed bike I found at a yard sale in upstate NY, I can finally use it for what I've always wanted to use it for - commuting to work! And grateful to have a job that doesn't feel like a job, doing something I believe in that continuously challenges me to grow.

Wishing everyone a lovely Thanksgiving holiday, filled with simple blessings.

Be the Light

2016-11-13T01:36:00.000-05:00

I came across a verse from the Tao Te Ching while searching for a way to discuss the election results with my class the next night.

The wise have no fixed opinion.
They take the peoples’ opinion as their own.
Those who are good I treat as good.
Those who are bad I treat as good.
That’s the perfection of goodness.
Those who are honest I treat as honest.
Those who are dishonest I treat as honest.
That’s the perfection of honesty.
Among the people, the wise reserve their opinion
And live in harmony with them.
The multitude satisfy their eyes and ears,
And the wise treat them as little children.

+++

"The wise treat them as little children."

Because, developmentally, in terms of Consciousness, they are.

Whenever I need a real kick-in-the-ass talking to I find a podcast lecture from Guru Ganesha Singh in Los Angeles. Tonight I found something even better - a video of him speaking on the election and on the responsibility that those of us who are beyond the level of children have to step up to in these dark times.

Guru Singh is a fantastic speaker and I really needed this pep talk, because sometimes, as a new teacher, I get so wrapped up in the details and the definitions of what I'm teaching that I forget the Big Picture. Am I just teaching people how to look at tongues and ask people about their poop? No. I'm trying to inspire them to take my Teacher's lead and look at whatever it is they're looking at with total Awareness, so that life becomes a moment to moment meditation. And from that place of Awareness, I'm teaching them to be with their clients in a safe, compassionate, non-judgemental place (a very hard space to find in today's world). I'm asking them to get their mirrors clean so when they meet with clients, neighbors, strangers, people on the other side of the protest line...whoever...those people see themselves - their real selves. Maybe for just the tiniest instant - so that true healing on an individual level can begin. And if the microcosm is indeed the macrocosm - as my Teacher and the Vedas themselves say - then maybe the world can heal too. But it has to start someplace, and if it's looking at tongues and asking about poop than so be it. Subtle Supreme Consciousness descended into gross matter and gross matter can ascend into Subtle Supreme Consciousness.

Sorry I can't share the video directly here, I think you may have to go to Guru Singh's FB page...https://www.facebook.com/Gurusinghdaily/?hc_ref=NEWSFEED

Well worth 45 minutes of your time.

Along the Way...

2016-11-12T22:34:00.002-05:00

Since I haven't had WIFI for many months I never had the opportunity to post photos of the house renovation in process. Am uploading some now, just for the record!

I think I mentioned I wanted a French door in the bedroom. The workers left the exterior kind of unfinished. Sigh. NM is like that. It's ok, we can fix it in the spring.

Bear approves. We can birdwatch from bed.

Also, the ancient wooden fence around the back border of the property absolutely had to go.

It took the guys three days to do this, amazing!

This back yard needs some serious landscaping. That will be later - I need to finish the interior first.

J's handiwork - several fences so the dog can't run out of the back yard and strangers can't come in!

Catching Up!

2016-11-06T00:44:00.003-04:00

This past week the seasons changed in Albuquerque, last week’s late Indian summer finally giving in to rainy gusts of autumn that come swooping down from the tops of the rocky Sandia mountains, gaining momentum before they rush through the streets of the city, taking dry leaves and scraps liter along for the ride. The smell of rain is so invigorating when it falls in such a dry climate.

This past week was the fifth since our first year students arrived for orientation, some eager to begin, some hesitant, some crying with homesickness, and all nervous at some level. They were joined by our second year students half-way through the week - reuniting with them felt so comforting and joyful and I was honored to once again lead the week's closing fire ceremony for everyone on behalf of the school.

Our first year students having a Q&A with second year students during orientation.

This past week was the fourth I’ve spent teaching, actively lecturing and leading class for 8 and a half hours a week plus 4 hours of watching videos of my Teacher as part of our class and 20 additional hours spent working on education department projects and seminar development in my office. It's more talking than I've done in my lifetime...and all this from someone who was once afraid to speak in front of people!

On Thursday nights, to wrap up the week, we have an oral quiz that I've named "The Quiz Bowl" since I draw my 28 student's names one by one from a big blue bowl. Afterwards we do activities or have a class discussion/Q&A. A couple of weeks ago they enjoyed unwinding with some art, which my Teacher considers a valuable teaching tool, as do I! How often do we get to do this as adults?

Meanwhile my own artistic abilities are no match for my Teacher's, but not entirely horrible either...

This next photo is not what you think, but made for a good photo opp as we finished up class one night!

I have no words for how rewarding the experience of teaching is turning out to be, how much I’ve learned in the past four weeks, how deeply connected I feel to our students, how amazing and generous they’e been in helping me to grow and find my footing as a new teacher.

This morning I woke up to the sweetest text message from one of them:

Hi Uma, I just wanted to write a quick note saying I really appreciate your efforts and your teachings...I want to reflect that in just the few weeks we've had together, I see you blossoming (with such beauty!) into holding your role with grace, wisdom, generosity and lightheartedness. It's really awesome and I appreciate your classes and all that you do for us a whole bunch!

They don’t realize it, but they are helping me to slowly manifest the gift that I first promised my Teacher 5 years ago in a letter - the gift of stability from which to share with others the amazing things I’ve received from him — not just the knowledge, but the light, the grace, the humor, the chants, the love, the compassion, the non-judgement, the openness, the freedom. I told him I knew it would take discipline, and it has and still does.

Ayurveda is a qualitative science. Sometimes, we want to give an herb/medicine that isn’t available to us here in the US. So what to do in the absence of that powerful herb we'd like to use? We find the closest thing we can - which means that we find something that has as many similar qualities as possible, leading to similar actions/results as a substance is defined in Ayurveda as "the inseparable union of guna (quality) and karma (action). This is how we know, for example, that the sweet taste - which is composed primarily of earth and water elements - is going to be cooling and building and nutritive and we analyze everything in this way, applying logic based on panchabhautic (5 element) theory.

But it applies in other instances as well. I’ve spent the past 7 years slowly and diligently trying to cultivate the qualities I've so appreciated about my Teacher within myself and weed out those that are no longer serving a higher goal. So I hope that the inherent karma/actions that result are becoming more like his in some way.

"Weed out this bed and plant a

crop in me that will nourish others.

With every breath I prepare my ground
for that kind of garden."
- Uma, 2013

It has been 14 weeks since I left my Teacher at the airport in New York, the heavens themselves storming and weeping in response. The only contact we’ve had since were some texts a few weeks ago while he was teaching in Germany and London, his dependable iPhone with him once again. I miss him very much and these last two months are always the most difficult, seeming to stretch on into eternity. If I could hibernate until January 2 I would.

But...I promised him last summer before he left that, “Wherever you go, I keep you close to my heart...and I’ll share that love with our students when they arrive in NM this October” So I do my best, daily. Love is an amazing teacher’s aide. “The highest medicine” as he’s said. And people come here in large part to be healed, not just to learn.

Meanwhile, it's been 14 weeks as well since I closed on my house, and it is transforming into what I envisioned when I first saw it - from shades-down darkness to windows-open light, from clutter to organization.

This is the "before" photo (from the online real estate listing) of the kitchen...be thankful that you can not see how filthy it was.

And this is where it's at now - new sink, paint, granite countertops, tile floor. Mexican tile backsplash still to come...

This was the living room photo from the real estate ad...

Here it is now (so far) with new paint and pine floors...

And...it's been 16 weeks since Bear entered our lives — and he too has changed dramatically! From tiny (10 lbs) to quite large already (35 lbs), from meek to confident. He is quite the handful, and J and I remark daily that we seem to have gotten our crazy Vixen back in a different body. This past week J and Bear and have been camping in a cute little trailer that J drove to Oklahoma to buy a couple of weeks ago. Bear is endlessly entertaining.

Thanksgiving, the first snow, camping over holiday break...all coming. But what I look forward to the most is once again getting to say “thank you” to my Teacher face to face — because I am not the same person he walked away from at the airport even this past July. What grace! A grace that comes not from him as a person but through him as a vessel, a conduit carrying a current of something unfathomable in its strength and its alchemistic ability to transform. I can only imagine how many lives he's changed in big and small ways over the decades that he's been teaching and practicing.

“You are a jewel I can neither tightly grasp nor release,

and I am gold in your fire.

Two people were walking, but only one arrived at your door —

How is it that I leave your presence with your presence?”

— Uma July 22, 2012

I hope you are all well and carving out a safe and sacred place for yourselves in this crazy, mixed up world we live in.

Meanwhile...

2016-09-08T23:49:00.001-04:00

Bear is crazy cute. And crazy in general, as puppies are I suppose - kind of like having a bipolar best friend.

2016-08-31T19:16:00.000-04:00

After three days of being stranded in NY earlier this month I finally found myself flying in to Albuquerque around sunset, crying at the sight of the mountains rising up from the flat terrain and the city glowing like a golden yantra beyond them.

There was good news waiting - besides the closing on the house and the new puppy, I was asked to teach the first ten week trimester of our Ayurvedic Nutrition course for first year students. This is in addition to teaching 30 weeks of our Evening Lecture class (a foundational course in Ayurveda - the first 10 weeks are video lectures with my Teacher which I will then review and discuss with the class, followed by 20 weeks of assisting him directly as I did last year). Beginning in January, I'll also be assisting him with our second year clinical class.

In order to squeeze in all of this teaching (plus weekend seminars, also beginning in January) into the time we are allotted per day (last I checked it was 24 hours...but I can only get paid for 8 according to NM law!) my administrative role is now shifting to part time. Another woman has been hired to do the contracts, schedules and more administrative work while I will focus on curriculum development and especially on bringing each class more into alignment with our Teacher's way of teaching each subject. I'll also be working towards creating a database of his lectures and articles that all of us can easily access.

I also found out that my office space will move from the education department building to the office just next to my Teacher's in the Main Building. The administrator joked that he will drill a hole in the wall between us and run a string and two tin cans between our offices. I told him that I imagine there will be an increase in chai-making going on at the Main office tea station come January. The Dean said that she imagines my close proximity will increase my Teacher's reliance on me for different things that don't necessarily fall into any particular work category.

I couldn't be happier about this.

I'll move to the new office in a couple of weeks, around the same time that the 16' container of furniture and art and other belongings arrives here from MA. The house there closed yesterday. Onwards into this new phase.

Casa Umā

2016-08-28T12:35:00.001-04:00

A few plants I couldn't resist.

The front door.

Here are some before pics of the house. Tomorrow at 8 am the crew who has been working on a house next door will arrive to begin painting and installing a French door in the master bedroom. Meanwhile j will be finishing the Saltillo tile that runs from the kitchen into what will be an office area and then the living room and hall floors will go down - Ponderosa Pune from Las Vegas, NM...

The paneling in the converted garage will go and these walls will be painted blue, since this is the NE corner of the house, the "water" area and the meditation space, according to Vastu Shastra - and my plan.

I already started tearing it off for them

The floor was carpet over concrete and am hoping it will become cork.

Here is the kitchen with the new floor. It will be painted a sunny yellow, which I hope I like. I want this room to be warm, cheery and welcoming.

You may wonder, after spending so many years painting the house back East, why I'm paying someone to paint. Traditionally here in NM walls are textured and sprayed. Which means, if someone puts holes in the walls, it wrecks the texture and if you simply paint over the repair it looks awful. So...I have to have it all redone. I will hang my things with sticky stuff, not nails.

Hallway to laundry, bath and three bedrooms - filthy carpet will be pine.

Walls in living room, this hall and two bedrooms will be off white with white trim.

Laundry, bath and Bear. Bathroom will be redone a bit later.

Master bedroom, where the window will become a French door leading out to a deck/outdoor sleeping area (later). It will be sage green with white trim. Not sure about the floor yet - probably more of the Pine. It is unusual to have solid wood floors here - the rage is laminate - but after so many years back East I like natural, solid materials.

View from bedroom. The yard is large for the city, and next the guys will be quoting on replacing the back fence, which is falling down. I think this yard has great potential for landscaping - fruit trees do well here in ABQ, as do roses..

Looking from master bedroom into hall at smallest room, which will be a guest room for weekend seminar participants hopefully starting in January. Income.

The scrappy back yard. Patio needs to be redone. Yep, it's a project but not like the house back East. There's no attic or basement, for starters, and it's less than half the size.

Another area of the back yard.

View from living room window.

Front door.

Will use traditional ceramic light covers!

Xeriscape front. Not a big fan of it but, ok.

I will post some after shots soon I hope!

A Guest Post By Bear.

2016-08-26T17:04:00.002-04:00

It's been just over a month since this little bear cub showed up in our lives.

He's a little harder to hold now, but he's fast become a great friend and teacher.

I will let him take it from here.

First, always give great, mindful consideration - with googly-eyes - to your food choices.

And whenever possible, Eat Local. Like from underneath the apple tree at the local park. Which should help you "keep the doctor away," unless you need to go for your booster shots...

In which case, hide in the corner, try making googly-eyes, and whatever you do, refuse to accept any yummy bacon-flavored offerings from white-coated strangers. Doing so will quickly result in your being grabbed and injected.

Additionally, eating plenty of fiber, especially in the morning, keeps you regular. And your human friend really enjoys picking your fresh poop up in a bag and carrying it proudly around with them. They can't even wait until it cools off, they're in such a rush.

It's like gold to them, like stinky nectar from heaven. So make sure there's always plenty of it, and that it's a good, sticky consistency.

Always help around the house. Especially with landscaping. Digging holes with a shovel is a lot of work for your human - the least you can do is give them a head-start. It also takes away the task of deciding where the hole should be and the expense of hiring a landscaper.

"You're welcome, mom!"

Sweeping is another tiresome chore you can easily assist with. Put your whole heart, mind and body into your work, no matter how small any of these things may be, as I have done here, with the broom.

Meditate daily...

As you can see, I began my daily practice when I was just a wee baby. Of course that was only a month ago, but still. When you're just two months old, it's half your life!

Meditation helps you to realize that the whole world may be rushing past, but it's ok to take it slow and enjoy the view from a fresh perspective.

And that it's ok to disagree sometimes.

But never go to sleep angry.

And speaking of sleep...

With persistence and plenty of googly-eyed glances, even the most uptight, clean-freak, no-dogs-anywhere-near-my-sacred-place-of-rest human...

...will soften up.

To be continued, I'm sure. ;)

Of Marching Bands and Patience

2016-08-25T00:02:00.001-04:00

Last April I left my rented room and went for an early morning walk in the surrounding neighborhood. Spring was beckoning - and not just to me. Around every corner I met someone digging in their front yard or tinkering in their garage. In January my Teacher often asked about my long commute from Placitas and I assured him that I was renting a room only a few blocks from school and not on the road late at night.

"I think there must be some nice little houses for sale within walking distance of the school." he'd said casually.

"I would love that." I admitted.

Winter and my intense schedule kept me from exploring much. Searches on Realtor.com revealed properties far out of my price range, far too big, far too fancy, or far too...far.

On this particular April morning I wasn't house hunting but simply enjoying the sun and gentle exercise. I turned onto road after road I'd never walked on before, driven along by a curiosity to see what was around the next corner.

And as it turns out, around one particular corner this artsy front yard full of fragrant lilacs and hand-painted signs caught my eye...

And across the street this front yard planted entirely with cacti...

And one or two houses away this quirky display...

...which reminded me of my dad in the best possible way (and to which a collection of 4th of July geese has since been added).

"I want to live on this street." The thought came suddenly and surely. And surprisingly, really. I mean...plastic geese dressed up like lepraucauns as a major attraction?

Ok...but ultimately it's the unpretentiousness of the neighborhood that I appreciate.

Noting the street's name as I walked further, I typed it into the "Reminders" app on my phone.

10 days later a little circa 1964 house went on the market. And not only was it on the street of quirky front yards, it faced East (auspicious) on a sort of semi-cul-de-sac, giving it a mostly unobstructed view of the Sandia Mountains and slim to no traffic...

And since the house was also a bit...errr....unkempt...the price was very low for the neighborhood. Low enough for me.

I'd already met a realtor I wanted to work with — not only had she sold the house the one-room hermitage was in sight-unseen, she drove a gorgeous Mercedes. Encouraging signs of a successful business woman. Though she was a bit horrified by the state of the house, she admitted it was a good deal for the neighborhood. The appraiser agreed.

The morning after I returned from the East Coast, I signed the papers to close on it.

It was the only house I looked at.

I have a brand new washer and drier, a dishwasher and garbage disposal, a working furnace and a swamp cooler (a kind of AC type unit that we use here in the Southwest). A truck comes on Monday morning and miraculously whisks away my garbage, followed by another that takes away my recycling...

Very adult-like.

And it's a 3 minute drive or bike ride from school - well within the "walking distance" my Teacher suggested. It's situated between two grassy parks connected by a bike path that can be accessed only one house away from mine. It gets daily use...

My neighbor Gino, who J and I met earlier this summer during the house inspection, even brought over a heaping paper plate of fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies when I moved in...

J is tackling some of the bigger projects like laying local Ponderosa Pine floors in the living room and hallway...

...and Mexican Saltillo tile in the kitchen. They say it's lucky to find Saltillo tiles with animal prints...we found enough dog prints to arrange a "path" across the kitchen, from the living room to the back door.

Quirky? Yes. But apparently befitting of the neighborhood.

On September 1 the old house will close. J is there now, emptying it out into a 16' POD that will head West, and visiting with our friends and his family. It feels strange not to have closure on the old house I spent so much time in, the gardens, the woods. But in some ways, closure came a long time ago.

Soon I'll have furniture, and rooms that resemble actual rooms, with comfortable chairs to sit in and a table to eat at. It's been three years since I've had that, and I'd like to say it's ok but actually it's been challenging and unsettling. Since April I've spent most nights sleeping on my Japanese mat on some floor or another - currently on my back patio. In the morning I can hear a marching band practicing somewhere nearby, birds chirping at the feeders I hung out, Spanish music playing from a nearby house where a crew is doing renovations. I sat outside this afternoon, stealing a few hours off of work to hide and read and sip chai. It felt good. I like the neighborhood. I like the city. I love New Mexico.

With cash in hand from the sale of the house I'll keep renovating and J will start looking for a small piece of land and perhaps an RV so we can divide our time between city and country. Due to the intensity of my upcoming work schedule (starting sooner than I'd like to think about), I will mostly be city and J (and most probably Bear) will mostly be country.

For now pup and I are getting to know each other a bit more every day. I'm teaching him plenty of things, but he's teaching me as well - patience! Which is a good lesson to learn.