Secretly Lame

I’d hit that: Jenny the dry-erase girl

Juan Aguilar — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 21:00:31 +0000

Calling a woman a hot piece of ass is wrong, do you hear me? Wrong! Offensive! Inappropriate! We’ve also already discussed the inherent douchbaggery of playing Farmville, so if you do both, it should be no surprise when a sassy bespectacled fury armed with a dry-erase board comes after you as if she were a [...]

No love for the Bieb

Juan Aguilar — Tue, 10 Aug 2010 11:44:54 +0000

After considering the many clever ways I could introduce the video of Justin Beiber’s face colliding with an airborne water bottle, I decided that the best way would be to tell you that this video features Justin Bieber’s face colliding with an airborne water bottle. Holy shit, that bottle sounded like it was at least [...]

Olivia Munn’s fake nerdage: worstthingever

Juan Aguilar — Fri, 16 Jul 2010 03:44:27 +0000

Brief history lesson: a long time ago, in a galaxy… that we’re in right now, it was a period of cable tv war. Rebel stations, striking with a seemingly hidden viewership, had won some ad revenue away from larger networks. It is unlikely that many of you understood that I was leading into a rant about [...]

Where are my Twin Peaks fans?

Juan Aguilar — Fri, 21 May 2010 10:11:24 +0000

One of my favorite rappers, mc chris (you may know him as the voice of MC Pee Pants on Aqua Teen Hunger Force or Hesh on Sealab 2021), has made something of a name for himself by rapping about Star Wars and other nerd fare with encyclopedic knowledge, and his most recent about Twin Peaks [...]

Ronnie James Dio, RIP

Juan Aguilar — Mon, 17 May 2010 14:00:51 +0000

I thought about going with a funny title, but no, this pioneer deserves better. Maybe something about Heaven or Hell or some such. If you will, play some metal. Now extend your pinky and index finger while holding your ring and middle fingers firmly with your thumb. Now flick your wrist and/or elbow. Ronnie James Dio [...]

I found an iPhone 4G prototype in my coffee this morning

Juan Aguilar — Wed, 12 May 2010 14:36:42 +0000

Man, Apple sure is having trouble keeping a lid on these frickin’ things, que no? If only I could believe it was happening by accident… Quick recent history lesson: a couple of weeks ago a hapless Apple engineer left a prototype of the phone on a barstool, of all places, where it was found by some [...]

But why is it called Mega Beardo?

Juan Aguilar — Wed, 05 May 2010 14:30:37 +0000

I already knew Mega Man was awesome. And Mega Man 2? Doubly so. That’s pretty much a no-brainer.The same can be said for the electric guitar, for yea, it is the only object known to man from which pure concentrated awesomery flows. However! You may be unprepared when these two crackling pillars of unadulterated awesomeforce [...]

The WePad sounds like something you’d pee on (but buy one anyway)

Juan Aguilar — Thu, 15 Apr 2010 14:00:31 +0000

I had made a secret resolution never ever to mention the iPad on this site… and I just broke it. For no reason. Go, me! If you share my hatred for the device-that-cannot-be-named and all it stands for, then you’ll probably be pretty excited to learn of it’s less evil Android-based alternative, the WePad. Specs, availability, [...]

A Letter to American Idol

Jessica McKenna — Wed, 14 Apr 2010 21:00:45 +0000

Dear American Idol, This is coming from a long-time fan of your show. I have watched religiously since Season 2, and now I am officially done. Granted, now that I have started watching this season, I can’t stop in the middle. Thank you for lacing your show with peyote. But no further seasons will be watched by this [...]

Sleep is Death: odd name, innovative game

Juan Aguilar — Wed, 07 Apr 2010 18:49:55 +0000

The last time I played D&D with my friends, I played as my halfling rogue. I had honed his skills in the art of stealth and assassination, but doubt lurked in my mind when we went on our latest campaign. Our party was surrounded by hostile mud monsters; the GM asked me what I’d like [...]