Sosuave

THE "NICE GUY" AND THE HALO EFFECT

2009-07-27T16:08:00.000+07:00

If you want to attract the right woman,
and if you want to avoid making mistakes
with women, you have to learn to not
always rely on your immediate EMOTIONS.

Emotions often lead us astray, because
we tend to not THINK when we are feeling.
In fact, when we are FEELING, we go
so far as to CREATE REASONS to 'justify'
our emotions, even though these
'reasons' actually have NOTHING to
do with why we feel what we feel.

So, for example, if there is a woman
you feel attracted to, it's almost
automatic for a man to start making
up "non superficial" REASONS why he
likes her, why she is truly special,
etc.

Similarly, if you are feeling any
fear about approaching a woman,
that fear will then lead to you
making up REASONS for why you
feel this fear, that in reality
have nothing to do with why you
really feel that fear.

If you want to become a master
of attraction, then it's all
about you learning to master
your own emotions and to learn
to NOT submit to your human
tendency to start falsely
rationalizing why you are
feeling the way you do.

That way, you can have a lot of
great emotions LATER- including
the emotion of being with the woman
you actually WANT.

Recently, I saw a movie
that REMINDED me just how INSANELY
tough it must be to be a guy who is living
WITHOUT knowing the full deal about
attraction, about women, and about
the way our emotions work.

I don't know if you'll believe me, but the
honest truth is that at first, this movie
really PISSED ME OFF!

You see, the movie is called "Forgetting
Sarah Marshal". And in this movie, is
a dude who I thought EVERY GUY
in the theater would NOT be able to
relate to, because to ME, this
character's behavior seemed so
LAME AND PATHETIC AND IGNORANT.

Even though this movie is a comedy, the
reality is that it would not work if the
audience felt this guy was CRAZY.

The movie works because the reality
is that there ARE many guys who
can relate to his perspective.

And then it hit me. You see, I USED
to think SIMILARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I used to be that guy!

It's ONLY because for YEARS AND
YEARS now, I have been so immersed
in a different way of THINKING and
BEHAVING that this stuff NOW seems
SO ABSOLUTELY CRAZY to me.
And the fact that it does NOT seem
absolutely CRAZY to me is
HORRIFYING!

Honestly, I want to make that type of
behavior, that type of thinking, EXTINCT!

So what was this behavior?
In the movie, this chick who is supposed to
be super hot, (reality check, is that there
are MANY girls like her around, HONESTLY,
but the way most guys think they go crazy
for any girl that is remotely attractive and
shows SOME interest in them, which all
comes from scarcity style thinking) and
she suddenly dumps him after four years.

He goes CRAZY desperate, he becomes a
total needy wreck, he tries to win her BACK,
he ABANDONS his whole life, loses passion
for his goals, self-esteem plummets, etc.

Now, the FIRST thing that was GLARINGLY
obvious to me, is that no chick on EARTH
just "suddenly" dumps a guy.

This is all part of the MYTH, the NIGHTMARE
myth, that a woman who is this great person,
suddenly DROPS a guy, she becomes this
uncaring unfeeling person, etc.

What ACTUALLY happens is that a guy ends
up falling victim to what is known as the
HALO EFFECT.

The halo effect is when humans see people
who are attractive or celebrities or both,
they tend to think these people are
BETTER than other people - more
NOBLE, more honest, more intelligent,
etc.

It's total emotional HOGWASH, but it
happens so often and even today with all
this knowledge even educated people often
FALL for it. So much so that you may notice
whenever you see criminals in court, they
dress as well as they can to try to influence
the judge or jury to come to a verdict that
says he or she is innocent.

Well, at least this fricken movie SHOWS
this, it shows it in a pretty intelligent way,
although I wonder if every guy GOT it.

What the movie shows at first, are his
MEMORIES of this woman. He keeps
on TORTURING HIMSELF by remembering
the "fun times" they had together. He
keeps seeing her smile in his mind, he
keeps remembering when they got
physical, etc.

And of course, this makes him more and
more sad, depressed, and frustrated!

Then, his best friend tries to help him out,
tries to set him straight, and then TELLS
him something STRAIGHT UP:

"Hey man, whenever she was around us,
and I saw her with you, she was pretty
much a bitch."

I'm paraphrasing, but that's what he said,
in a heartfelt way.

His friend is trying to HELP him, but his
friend is also truly being HONEST.

So what does the guy respond with?
He gets ANGRY at his friend for him saying
this.

How dare his friend say this about his
"great" woman!!!

So he tells OFF his friend, he tells his
friend that this girl was BETTER than
his friend's girlfriend!!!!

BETTER!!!

Does this make any sense?
The girl that DUMPED him, was BETTER!

Well, the truth is that unless you are
TRAINED and DEVELOPED in the
ways of ATTRACTION, PICK-UP,
AND FULL INNER GAME, this
kind of thing is VERY REALISTIC!

Because what happens is that our mind
plays TRICKS on us. It's the HALO
EFFECT, in FULL EFFECT.

It's not just that this guy felt his girlfriend
was BEAUTIFUL, he also felt she was
somehow GREAT, a great person, a
wonderful person, someone he was
going to MISS!!! He didn't say that
his girlfriend was HOTTER, he said
BETTER!!!

And yet, this IS how many guys might FEEL.
All because of the HALO EFFECT.

If the guy TRULY HONESTLY FELT THAT
IT WAS JUST HER LOOKS THAT WERE
SUPERIOR THAN THOSE OF OTHER
WOMEN, HE WOULD NOT MISS HER
EVEN A FRACTION AS MUCH!!!!

But he thinks she IS somehow superior to
other girls besides just her looks.

And this is what MILLIONS of guys experience
all the time.

In fact, the MEMORIES we trigger when we
are under the HALO effect are often FALSE
MEMORIES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You see, EMOTIONS are INSANELY POWERFUL
THINGS!!! We tend to FEEL FIRST, and then
we RATIONALIZE those feelings as being
APPROPRIATE FEELINGS. We give
REASONS for those feelings, reasons
that FEEL right!

In reality though, the FEELINGS usually have
NOTHING TO DO with the reasons we give
for them!!!

NOTHING.

In fact, very often, the reasons we give for
the feelings are not only wrong, they are
HORRIFYING WRONG, they are the
FARTHEST FROM THE TRUTH!

So, for example, because the guy feels
ATTRACTION and feels she is GOOD
(all due to the halo effect), he then
Has SELECTIVE MEMORY, to ONLY
REMEMBER the GOOD things, no
Matter how tiny they were (Such as
her "smiling"! I mean who DOES NOT
smile ever???? And what the heck
is valuable in a smile, it could be
she is smiling for totally selfish
reasons!)

Not only that, if a guy feels strong enough
about a woman, he may even CREATE
memories that never EXISTED, he will
WARP the past into it being something
more special than it was!

Our brains do this because we think there
is NO WAY that we can feel so good about
something or someone that was NOT GOOD!

Eventually, in the movie, he slowly starts to
REGAIN some ACCURACY in his memories,
and it's no coincidence that THESE MEMORIES
are triggered once he REGAINS his self-esteem!

Suddenly then, he starts to REMEMBER
all the TOTAL SH*&&T things she did
to him!

And this brings me to a massive point:

The whole problem in the FIRST PLACE
started because he himself was not feeling
the kind of self-esteem that every man
deserves to experience. He was doing
work that he hated, he had vague dreams
of creating a rock opera that he was
not putting into action, and his whole
attitude toward his own life SUCKED.

The ONLY thing he had going on that
seemed cool was this chick who was
an actress, decently attractive, etc.

And SHE became his source of self-esteem.

Again, not just because of her attractiveness,
but because the HALO effect ALSO made
him view her as smart, noble, good, virtuous,
special, etc.

And so having HER in his life made HIM
feel that HE was special. And he NEEDED
it so badly that he was OBLIVIOUS to the
REALITY that indeed she WAS a shallow,
selfish, emotionally and intellectually void
beeee-yotch!

He NEEDED her so badly, because his own
reservoir of self-esteem was running on
EMPTY.

He had nothing INTERNAL to base his own
self-esteem ON.

And even when his friend was telling him to
get to work on that rock opera, all he did
was say he couldn't because he was
heartbroken. Yet, by ignoring his self,
his own identity, his own self-esteem
plummeted FURTHER, leaving him
even MORE vulnerable to the halo
effect and selective memory and
being desperate for her.

And even when he slept with many women,
it didn't help, because HE still felt empty
about HIMSELF inside. HE still felt SHE
was the special one, because for YEARS
AND YEARS, he had unwittingly brainwashed
himself into believing this!!!

It's only when he meets ANOTHER
WOMAN who is EMOTIONALY
MORE INTELLIGENT THAN
HE IS, that things begin to
slowly CHANGE.

This new woman, well her self-esteem is
INTERNALLY driven. She is not all about
having celebrity pet care centers and about
being famous and glitzy, she does not
need to have validation from everyone
around her to be happy, and she doesn't
need to be rewarded for being a good
and happy person, she does it because
she FEELS GOOD doing it. Her
self esteem is SKYROCKETING.

And she encourages HIM to grow this way
as well. She even devises a sly but loving
method of getting him to FORCE HIMSELF
to take action on his dreams and goals.

And all this stuff helps him REALIZE that
what he was REALLY SEARCHING for
all this time was not his ex-girlfriend, but
HIMSELF. He had LOST HIMSELF
before he even MET the beee-yotch, so
he was a perfect target for optimum
destruction when the beee-yotch met
him. And yet all those years he was
HAPPY to be with her, he felt she
was the GREATEST thing that
happened to him.

And yet, the new woman, who he is
attracted to as well, cannot do MAGIC.
So a certain amount of emotional growing
has to come from him and him only.
This is his real mission.

He fails this mission, because when the
beey-otch comes running back to him
after her new boyfriend cheats on her
(and after her new boyfriend can't take her
selfish behavior because it gets in the
way of him continuing his own selfish
rotten behavior) and after her TV show
gets cancelled, he actually makes the
horrible mistake of becoming weak and
fooling around with her a bit even though
he stops half way and regrets it horribly.

However, it's still enough damage to cause
the new awesome woman he's met to
lose respect for him. Which makes sense,
because really what he has done has shown
her that his self-esteem is SO WEAK,
that HE IS WEAK.

This is why I HATE it when "nice guys"
get associated with characters like the
guy in the movie.

This guy doesn't lose the initial girl because he's NICE.
He loses her because he's too weak to see that
he shouldn't have been with her in the first
place and he's too weak to see that he needs
to develop himself INSIDE first!

This isn't nice.
This isn't good.
It's pathetic.

When a woman says "Are you strong enough to
be my man", she doesn't mean are you a bad
boy!!!! She means, are you a good guy and
STRONG about it, are you a good man who
is STRONG about his goodness, or will he
need validation and will he need to pretend
to be a pimp or playa or alpha idiot who is
so scared inside that he can't even tell the
difference between an amazing woman
who treats him well and a woman that
treats him like garbage.

It's only when he FULLY REALIZES
and FULLY GROWS inside, when
he become strong enough to have
NO DOUBTS about what really
is important, is he able to truly
win the girl who is beautiful and
a fantastic person as well.

So, this movie wasn't actually bad at all.
But it was a WAKE-UP call to me that
reminded me the things I take for granted
now are only because I was lucky enough
to LEARN all this stuff so that this movie
seemed ABSURD to me.

I want there to be a day when this movie
seems ABSURD to EVERY MAN ON
EARTH.

And that will ONLY happen if every man
on EARTH gets the message and is willing
to put in the WORK to DEVELOP the
internal skills and external skills regarding
attraction, self-esteem, emotion, and
charisma.

Don't let yourself be like the guy in the movie
who is so IMMERSED in the ILLUSIONS
that are destroying him, that FIVE YEARS
go by and even his BEST FRIEND cannot
help him when he is pleading and trying
so hard to wake him UP from the insanity.

HOW TO BANISH NEEDINESS

2009-07-27T15:49:00.001+07:00

Hey Gentleman,

One of the worst tortures that any man
can go through on earth is being obsessed
with one woman who doesn't seem to
understand him, love him, or want him.

Not only is it torturous, but that very feeling
destroys his sense of confidence, and robs
him of his charisma and sense of humor,
not only with her, but will ALL women,
which makes his results even worse,
which then makes him feel even worse,
and so on.

So what I'd like to do today is help any man
reading this to stop the insanity that he is
doing to himself and to stop the pain and
the suffering.

Meanwhile, the jerks always think they are
great and that they are the prize, etc.

So, anytime you feel yourself obsessing
over ONE woman, I want you to take
notice of the following things:

1.
How much time have you REALLY spent with
OTHER women lately?

2.
How much time have you been FANTASIZING
about how GREAT and PERFECT things would
be if you just had HER?

3.
How much ACTION have you actually took
to meet OTHER women?

These three actions form a "perfect storm" of
DISASTER to your emotions.

See, what happens is that rather than living in
the REALITY of having to take ACTION to
meet other women, it's much easier (even though
it's also simultaneously PAINFUL) to
fantasize about some dream concept with
some woman who you aren't actually
WITH.

See, the mind is a very interesting thing:
Given the choice to think about a perfect fantasy
or having to pursue something in reality, it will
ALWAYS choose fantasy, because no matter
how awesome a REALITY is, it can NEVER
match the fantasy that YOU YOURSELF have
created in your OWN mind.

It's the perfect fantasy because you created it.

So let's say you are obsessed with one woman,
whether it's a woman who you've had to divorce,
a woman who you love who has never loved you
back, or any other woman, 99 per cent of the time
the PAIN comes from the CONTRAST of
FANTASIZING about how AWESOME things
"could" be, and then comparing that to your reality.

And of course, since you haven't been working
on CHANGING that reality, that reality currently
feels PARTICULARLY bad.

Presto- this creates the emotion known as
NEEDINESS.

You now don't just LIKE a particular woman, you
now NEED HER for dear life.

And it really makes me sick how so many of the
BEST MEN ON EARTH are the ones who make
themselves suffer so much, it's because they
aren't arrogant and they allow themselves to
give a little TOO MUCH credit to a woman who
really hasn't earned it.

This to me, is not really nice, it's kind of a nice
that comes from not KNOWING the reality of
their own value and from distorting the value
of someone else and inflating it.

So the key is to first become AWARE of
what you are doing- you are comparing
something that is not even REAL, something
that exists only in your mind, i.e. how
PERFECT things would be if you just
HAD this woman, with what life would
be like if you took action in real life
with some other women.

The REAL LIFE can't match or compare.
And the longer you allow yourself to stay
obsessed, the MORE you brainwash yourself
into thinking and FEELING that the things
you've projected onto a woman are indeed
TRUE and FACTUAL.

See, humans aren't very good at determining
REALITY, they think that their EMOTIONS
are always good indicators of TRUTH, and
though sometimes they are, they also sometimes
are TOTALLY WRONG.

So if you allow yourself to follow your emotions
of pining or obsessing for some woman who
hasn't done much to EARN that, you will
brainwash yourself into thinking she HAS
earned it, as if you are so low on the scale
of value that she is so awesome in comparison,
or you'll brainwash yourself of her value
in some other way, you'll actually convince
yourself that she really IS from a logical
point of view "worth it", when in reality
this is known as backwards rationalizing,
or "cognitive dissonance".

By the way, almost EVERYONE brainwashes
themselves, and it's almost never a good thing.
For example, some women are emotionally
irresponsible and they attribute the cause of
their negative emotions to everyone except
themselves.

If you want a quality woman in your life,
you'd be best warned to watch out for
a woman who sees herself as a victim of
everything.

The reality is that while some human beings
manage to barely walk away from an oven
in a concentration camp as a child and still
grow up emotionally stable, other people
will cry like the world is ending because
ten years ago their mom didn't buy them
a CHOCOLATE CAKE for their birthday.

Other people will blame the fact that they
weren't allowed to eat junk food as kid
for why they need to cheat on their spouse
or partner.

The bottom line is, it's not really your
CIRCUMSTANCES, it's your ATTITUDE
that determines the meaning of those
circumstances.

But if you let your emotions RULE YOU
rather than YOU ruling your EMOTIONS,
your emotions will pretend they are your
friend, and they will make you think that
indeed everything else in life is what is
bringing you down, but that it's not your
responsibility at all.

If you are looking for a great woman, then
be on the lookout for how consistent she is
in being in a positive frame of mind, and
also be on the lookout to see how consistent
she is with maintaining a sense of moral
fairness, i.e. does she bump ahead of other
people in line? Does she jump to conclusions
about things? Is the rational or is she usually
basing her decisions on whatever emotion
she's feeling in the moment?

Does she insist on using condoms?
Or does she go base things on a "feeling"???

Does she work hard or does she
"feel" no work is inspiring or
worth doing?

So, don't think that it's just you who must
do this battle to conquer emotions when
they can cloud your thinking, it's everyone,
but if you want to get rid of NEEDINESS,
then just start to notice how the needy
feeling you have for a woman is always
accompanied by a tendency to NOT
STAY IN THE REAL WORLD, and
to instead fantasize about some made
up concept of how awesome life would
be if you "just" had this woman.

This type of thinking will actually prevent
you from ever GETTING a great woman,
because a great woman has got her emotions
under control and would expect that you as
a MAN should FOR SURE have his.

Mind you, great men and great women are
EXTREMELY RARE.

But once you develop yourself to get into
that category, you suddenly start to find
them very easily, because you know how
to immediately detect one when you've
found one. The difference between her
and other women and in fact between her
and most other PEOPLE, is MASSIVE.

Getting control over your neediness is so
important, that if you don't, you won't
notice the very REAL things that a woman
will be doing to you including things that
are not cool at all. So for example, a woman
who you've allowed yourself to feel too
much emotion for and she hasn't earned
it, you will become BLIND to the fact
she is not 100% faithful, i.e. she is too
flirty with all kinds of guys be it on
facebook, twitter, or anywhere else,
or the fact she is actually a hypocrite,
i.e. many women love to talk about
peace and love and not judging others,
but the moment you happen to do
something that is not her way, she
will absolutely judge you, and she
won't understand you.

But NEEDINESS in your soul will find
A MILLION EXCUSES for it.

This is the thing, as a great man, you have to
have the POTENTIAL WARMTH to unleash
in a woman who DESERVES it, but you also
have to have the potential COLDNESS of a
"jerk" to shut off your emotions so that you
don't become weak and make the wrong
decisions to pursue the wrong woman or
to tolerate LOW STANDARDS OF
BEHAVIOR.

The moment you find yourself getting
EMOTIONALLY WEAK, go jump in
a COLD SHOWER for an instant!

It will WAKE YOU UP OUT OF THE
SPELL!

So the lesson for today is to become
AWARE of the FALLACY of creating
fantasies in your mind based on zero
evidence, and becoming AWARE of
how this FICTION then robs you of
the desire to actually take action in
the REAL WORLD, which is less
than perfect, but still pretty damn
AWESOME, because it's actually
REAL.

A real woman, beautiful and with a great
personality but who is not perfect, is much
better than the DISTORTED concept of
PERFECTION that you've created in
your mind of some particular woman.

Take that FIRST STEP today by actually
CHALLENGING your emotions for
EVIDENCE.

So, if you are feeling NEEDY for a woman,
demand REAL EVIDENCE for why she is
so great. And make sure you are calm when
you are doing this, because if you do it when
needy, you'll CREATE LIES that you will
believe to back up your emotions.

Also, if you are feeling FEAR of approaching
a woman, DEMAND REAL EVIDENCE.

You know that FEAR is just
F alse
E vidence
A ppearing
R eal

Getting your inner game is MASSIVELY IMPORTANT.
Don't wake up after ten years to find out you've been
allowing your emotions to brainwash you and hold
you back with women and with life.

5 Secrets To Increasing Her Interest In You

2009-07-20T04:26:00.000+07:00

***Dating QUESTION From A Reader***

{NOTE: This is a short question, and it refers
to another newsletter I sent out in the past. If
you don't immediately get it, just read my answer
and all will become clear.}

"The Guy in the bar Story...

Why should he have left the bar as soon as he got
the waitress' phone number?

This is "Ultra Extra Important" you said. I think
I know why he should have left, he was probably
staring at her all night and she was turned off by
it, but give me your complete insight on why he
should have left immediately after getting her
e-mail.

Thanks, R."

>>>MY COMMENTS:

As I said in the newsletter you quoted above,
this concept is VERY important.

Understanding why you need to leave at this
point is part of understanding the dynamic called
ATTRACTION.

So before I get into the specifics, let's talk
about the underlying process that creates
ATTRACTION...

1) ATTRACTION isn't a choice. It's an emotional
reaction.

ATTRACTION is nature's way of taking over our
minds and bodies long enough to make sure that we
mate with someone with the best possible genes.

I realize that this sounds pretty "clinical"
and lame, but it's the damn truth.

Attraction isn't concerned with you, her, or
love. It's evolved over a loooong period of time,
and it has a purpose that is very important.

2) ATTRACTION isn't logical, in the sense that it
isn't created by things that "should" create it.

Buying women dinner and gifts, giving lots of
compliments when you first meet a woman, and
kissing up to women to get their approval are
examples of "logical" things that SHOULD create
attraction... but don't.

When you understand how attraction works, you
begin to see that it has a "logic" all its own.

Attraction is one of my favorite subjects...
and I think you should understand it if you want
to be successful with women. My second book is
called "Attraction Isn't A Choice", and you can
go and download the online version of it right
now... which I highly recommend... right here:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/AttractionBook

3) Women aren't attracted to guys who act like
needy Wuss-Bags. When guys give lots of
compliments, seek approval, act clingy, or try to
go out of their way to be overly "nice", it
usually backfires.

Women run from Wussy men (either that or they
go shoe shopping with them... and the guy usually
pays).

4) Unfortunately, many guys are mentally
programmed to a sort of "Default Wussy" mode of
behavior when they encounter a woman who they're
attracted to.

When you combine this Default Wuss mode with
nervous body language, you create an almost-
impossible barrier between you and ever creating
ATTRACTION.

5) Just like a painting or a song, too much can
ruin an interaction with a woman.

You must know when to leave, hang up, or end
the interaction.

Leaving at the right moment creates tension,
anticipation and mystery.

YOU EITHER INCREASE OR DECREASE ATTRACTION -
IT'S ALWAYS EITHER GOING UP OR DOWN...

Of course, there are more ingredients to
ATTRACTION, but these will set the stage for where
I'm going with this...

In every situation, you can do something to
INCREASE the ATTRACTION... and you can do
something to DECREASE it. In other words, there's
always a way to dial up this magical emotion.

And yes, you can increase the ATTRACTION even
when you've just met. In fact, this is often the
best time to do it.

Let me ask you a question...

What would most guys do in the situation with
the waitress (or maybe a bartender)?

Imagine it.

You're in a bar, you're chatting with the cute
gal serving drinks or behind the bar. You're being
Cocky and Funny, busting on her, etc. and she's
enjoying your company. You say "Hey, do you have
email?" and she writes it down for you...

WHAT DO YOU DO?

You could...

a) Sit there and keep talking.

b) Stay and talk to her a few more times.

c) Wait around hoping that you can go home
with her.

d) Leave.

So let's do a little critical thinking about
this situation before I comment (or maybe this
will be the comment, we'll see).

If you:

(a) sit there and keep talking, what's likely to
happen?

In my experience, unless you're the ultimate
Mac Daddy of all time, the only place to go is
DOWN.

Think about it... you got her info. You did it.
She's working. She's only going to get busy, which
will probably make the conversation more
difficult.

And then there's the risk of saying or doing
something stupid, getting too drunk to make sense,
or just having the interaction go cold.

All in all, you have very little chance of
anything good happening, and a great chance of
having something not-so-good happening.

Doesn't sound like a very good idea to me.

If you:

(b) stay there in the bar (maybe join friends who
show up), and talk to her a few more times while
ordering drinks, etc. what is likely to happen?

Again, we're dealing with a situation that
almost can't get any BETTER. Remember, she already
gave you the info. Now she might start thinking
"Oh, this is just another loser who hangs out all
night and gets drunk with his buddies... like the
other 47 guys who hit on me."

Or you might say something dumb... or you might
tip her too much or too little and make a strange
impression... or any of a lot of things.

All downside risk, no upside rewards.

If you:

(c) wait around hoping that you can go home with
her, I think you're REALLY taking your chances in
the situation.

Again, unless you're the ultimate pick-up
artist of all time, you're not likely to be taking
home the bartender by sitting in front of her and
drinking all night... for the same reasons listed
above.

But what if:

(d) YOU LEFT IMMEDIATELY after getting her info?

What effect does DISAPPEARING have on an
interaction like this one?

Well, let me ask you: What effect does
disappearing have IN GENERAL on people?

It creates curiosity, mystery, etc. It makes
the other person think "I wonder where he/she had
to go so fast?"

You can also combine this with having something
very INTERESTING to do. For instance, you might
say:

"Nice talking to you... I'm going to go meet up
with some friends to have some SERIOUS fun."

This technique of leaving the moment I've
gotten a woman's information has worked WONDERS
for me... and for many guys I know.

The long and the short of it is that if you
stick around after you get the info, you create no
tension, no mystery, and no curiosity.

On the other hand, if you LEAVE IMMEDIATELY,
and have something interesting (even if you don't
say what it is) to go do, then you're seen as
busy... the kind of guy who has a life... someone
who is in demand.

Leaving turns up the ATTRACTION. It creates
curiosity.

Women are used to guys hanging on, clinging,
and generally NOT having other things to do.

It's something that will INSTANTLY separate you
from other guys, and something that will
demonstrate all the right qualities with a single
move.

Remember, you can do things to INCREASE or
DECREASE the ATTRACTION in any given situation. I
recommend that you start thinking of how to
increase it as much as you possibly can, because
if a woman feels ATTRACTION, then almost nothing
else matters.

Let's shift gears.

When it comes to CREATING ATTRACTION, you can
take it to the next level... and the next... all
the way to the point of "getting physical" with a
woman...

...I've gone from not being able to even TALK
to a woman I don't know... to being able to
approach any woman in any situation and have a
VERY HIGH chance of getting a date with her... and
of course more, if I want.

Do You Want A HOT Girlfriend

2009-07-18T01:48:00.001+07:00

Hi Gentleman

Today I want to talk about a subject I find
very interesting.

Its a subject I think relates to every man
out there.

The subject of: WORTHINESS.

I was having a chat with a student recently
who was suffering from a problem.

The problem was, he wanted to have an
incredibly HOT girlfriend.

We're talking supermodel quality here.

And you know what? He's not alone!

EVERY guy and his brother wants to have
a drop-dead gorgeous girl to come home
to.

But here's the problem...

Most guys don't think they can GET a
girl like that.

So the settle.

They go for girls they KNOW they can get.

Girls that don't make them happy.

And why does this happen?

Because most men don't feel they DESERVE
to have a really hot girlfriend - even
if its what they want!

To many guys, incredibly beautiful women
seem like something "special."

It seems like the only way to attract them
is to be incredibly good looking yourself,
or incredibly rich.

But here's the thing...

THAT'S SIMPLY NOT TRUE.

I see guys with supermodel quality women
all the time who are ugly, fat, stupid,
poor, and what-not.

But do you know what separates these chumps
from the average guy?

There's no voice in their heads that tells
them they CAN'T get these women!

They just GO FOR IT. Consequences be damned.

And you know what? Beautiful women are still
women. What works on an average girl will
work on an above-average girl.

You just have to be WILLING to do it.

You have to BELIEVE you can get her.

And here's the REALLY cool thing...

Because most guys don't think they can get a hot
chick, they don't even try!

So the really beautiful women hardly EVER
get approached!

Therefor, if you know the Art Of Approaching,
and you walk up to an incredibly beautiful girl,
guess what?

IT'S GOING TO BE EASY!!!

She's going to look forward to talking to you.
She's going to be interested in what you have
to say. She won't reject you.

Because she doesn't get approached by men who
know what they're doing, and the men who DO
approach her are usually LOSERS.

So as you can see, the deck is stacked in YOUR
favor.

Why You Should Never Do "Dinner & A Movie!

2009-07-17T21:39:00.000+07:00

Hi Gentleman,

I got a question for you...

And answer honestly now, because this is
important!

When you hear the word "Dating," what's
the first thing you think of?

I'll tell you what I think of:

Dinner and a Movie!

After all, isn't that the "typical" date?

Isn't that the first thing that comes
to mind when you want to go out with
a girl?

(well, maybe it's the second, but you
get my drift. =)

Growing up, that's all I heard about when
my friends asked women on dates...

"I'm gonna take her to a nice restaurant,
and then we're going to see a movie!"

Blah, blah, blah.

Look, if you don't know this by now, you
should --

Dinner and a Movie is a HORRIBLE idea!

Why?

Because: Every guy does it!

There is nothing special to it. Every
date a girl goes on consists of dinner
and a movie.

If you want to be truly great at romancing
women, you need to be different from all
the other guys out there!

You NEED to stand out.

Because being different is a sure-fire way
to get a girl interested in you.

Here's the basic problem with dinner and
a movie...

People tend to be self conscious when they
eat.

And you have no chance to demonstrate any
personality or strengthen connections while
sitting quietly in a dark movie theater.

Sure, dinner and a movie might be fun once
you're seeing the girl regularly.

But until that time, it's the dating equivalent
of shooting yourself in the foot!

So what's a guy to do?

Simple: BE DIFFERENT.

Take her out to do something FUN, where you
can interact with her.

Things like:

Going miniature golfing.
Taking her to the racetrack.
Checking out the zoo.
Playing at a video arcade.

These are all things no one thinks about when
they think "date."

BUT, they can be fun and very effective.

And the possibilities are endless!

Just check your local newspaper and look at
what kind of cool events are taking place
in your area, and then...

INVITE women to join you in doing them!

You will INSTANTLY stand out.

What Are You Made Of

2009-07-17T21:35:00.001+07:00

Hey Gentleman

What you are about to read is not
how to attract MOST women, it's how
to attract a truly GREAT woman.

I'd like to let you know the truth about
attracting a quality woman. By a quality
woman, I mean a woman who really has
the qualities inside as well as out. This
is not about how to attract trash.

Let me tell you something that 99%
of men will never do, that is the
no-b.s. SECRET to getting a
fantastic woman:

LEAD THE WAY
Don't look to SOCIETY to show you what
to do.

And I don't just mean lead the way with
HER, but lead the way in your OWN life,
lead the way and don't wait for someone
to give you APPROVAL for what you
already know in your HEART is right.

What do I mean by this?
I mean having a CODE of honor that
you will follow REGARDLESS of
whether most people think it's cool
or not.

The reality is that if you want a woman
of honor, of integrity, a woman who has
the SELF-ESTEEM to CHAMPION
those values that you cherish in life
such as fidelity, passion, purity of
heart, and respect, then let me tell
you that you damn well better be
having those things in SPADES
yourself.

And in our culture, we are brainwashed to
think that relationships are not something
SACRED.

Relationships are now a form of reality TV
entertainment. Faithfulness, respect, and fidelity
are scorned by most forms of entertainment.
We make heroes out of celebrities who destroy
their own relationships.

What's interesting is that when it comes to
EXCELLENCE in engineering, in science,
in medicine, in art, in ANYTHING besides
relationships, we intuitively KNOW that
it takes respecting the PROCESS and
respecting the KNOWLEDGE and that
it takes LEARNING and DEVOTION
to become GREAT at it.

But when it comes to interactions between
men and women, most men and women
go in CLUELESS and just imitate whatever
they see around them. And they expect
to SUCCEED this way?

Imagine flying a fighter jet while your eyes
are blindfolded. It would quickly be a
DISASTER.

Well, I assure you that human relationships
are just as precious and complex.

The most precious thing that a man or
woman gives each other is the feeling
of VALUING them.

That's it.
It's not the dinners, it's not the jokes,
it's not the physical stuff. It's the
intimate BOND that is what goes
beyond everything else.

As soon as that BOND is diminished,
everything else is just a matter of time
before it fades.

That BOND has to be PROTECTED at all
costs, it is the SACRED FIRE that keeps
the engine alive.

The reason that most people end up getting
divorced or they end up without the PASSION
for each other long term, is that they allow
the SACREDNESS of this bond to be
diminished- by giving less love, or by
disrespecting the sacred trust they have.

The single greatest culprit for making
these things happen is the MEDIA and
the CULTURE we live in that works to
mock relationships and real love, as if
those things are for sissies.

So if you are a man who wants a great woman
and a great relationship, you need a STRONG
woman, a woman who is not afraid of defying
our culture, and the media, and the programs
out there.

That's the first ingredient, don't even
WASTE your time on the wrong women
who don't get it.

The second ingredient is that you yourself
must not diminish your passion for living
the lifestyle that CHAMPIONS true intimacy,
for giving meaningful validation to a woman,
for honoring her.

There are many forces out there that will have
you believe a great relationship that is sacred
is impossible, that no good women are out
there.

But the truth is, there ARE amazing women
out there, not a LOT of them, but they are
out there, looking for a man as passionate
about the REAL THING as you are.

If you let yourself get poisoned and embittered,
you will simply be seduced by the warped messages
thinking that there is no other way but to give up
on your dream of being with a great woman.

Now, imagine you DO meet the RIGHT woman,
a woman beautiful inside and out, and she sees
that you are jaded and that you are too afraid
to be loving or kind or genuine, well all that
will do is show her that you are NOT the
man for her.

There is a massive difference between having
high standards for intimacy and bonding and
love, and being NEEDY for it. When you are
NEEDY for it, you actually LOWER your
standards and will do anything for any
female attention- and in fact THIS IS
THE REAL REASON FOR THE
DISTORTIONS YOU SEE IN THE
MEDIA!

Yes, it is all the product of insecurity.
Secure people know what real love feels like
and aren't afraid to GIVE it and to CHAMPION
it and to CHERISH it.

Those who are insecure however will promote
the jaded versions of love.

The common thread here is that the highest
standard of love comes from the highest
standard of EMOTIONAL STRENGTH-
so how do you DESTROY neediness
from your system? The answer is this:

Realize that neediness, insecurity, fear of
rejection, or any other anxiety is just an
EMOTION. It's just so strong of an emotion
that it makes you feel that your thoughts
flowing from that emotion are VALID.

So for example, let's say you see a woman
you want to approach, and you then feel
approach anxiety. So what you do is, you
start to look for the PERFECT THING
to say, the thing that will be REJECTION
PROOF completely.

Well, that SEEMS logical, right?
That would solve things.
But the problem is, no matter HOW perfect
the thing is that you will say to a woman,
it WON'T get rid of that anxious feeling!

That's because emotions are NOT logical.
The worst thing to do to get rid of an emotion
is to try to attack it with LOGIC!

By the way, this goes DOUBLE for trying
to change a woman's emotions by using
LOGIC.

So guess what the solution is?
The solution sounds very ILLOGICAL:
For example, to get rid of the approach
anxiety, you should NOT try to find a
REJECTION PROOF opener.

Any time you SUBMIT to a fear, you
NEVER satisfy it, it NEVER leads to
you feeling better, it ONLY leads to you
feeling WORSE and MORE fearful.

So ironically, don't be afraid to be WARM
to a woman, and don't be afraid to have
INSANELY HIGH STANDARDS OF
INTEGRITY, even if the people around
you do NOT. Of course, don't let yourself
get ABUSED, but don't be afraid that
your HIGH STANDARDS are silly
or something that is uncool.

The people that have changed the course
of human history for the BETTER tended
to have HIGHER standards than normal.
Did they feel they were somehow UNCOOL?
Or did they MAKE IT "cool" by being so
CLEAR AND DECISIVE AND CONGRUENT
ABOUT IT?

You can either be a follower or a leader.
I like to create LEADERS.
And women tend to LOVE leaders.

So the next time you want to approach a
a woman, and if you are a beginner, and
you are feeling anxious, DON'T look for
the perfect opener. That's too advanced.

First, destroy the anxiety by taking it
HEAD-ON and NOT giving in to looking
for some foolproof way to avoid rejection.
That feeling and desire for total security is
in itself the PROBLEM and it will show in
your interactions with women.

The best time to use a good opener is
once you already have a FOUNDATION,
because THEN you will deliver it
PROPERLY.

In fact, if you are a beginner, the best thing
to get over the FEAR of approaching women
is to just go up to women and say "hi".

This will not get you the best results IMMEDIATELY,
but it is the best way to get over the ANXIETY,
and once you are over the anxiety, you can THEN
learn to apply more complex approaches and methods.

Remember what I said about EXCELLENCE
being a PROCESS that you must respect and
be devoted to? So this is step ONE in that
PROCESS. And hey, if you want to learn
it all in one weekend, at the most accelerated
pace so you save time, then book a
BOOTCAMP with me.

Once the anxiety is out of the way, you can
move up to more advanced tactics, but until
that is out of the way, the search for more
"rejection proof openers" will actually
make you WORSE OFF, because you are
GIVING IN TO WEAKNESS, to the
FEAR that you are not WORTHY to
chat to her, etc.

And THAT IS NOT A GOOD JUSTIFIABLE
FEAR, because you ARE worthy, whether
you realize it or not.

Also, by the way, if you want to attract a
woman, don't give her REASONS to
be attracted to you. Instead, BECOME
attraction itself by destroying that which
is weak or needy inside of you, and by
reclaiming the power of your natural
identity as a man. This man that is
the real you is infinitely internally
STRONG, WARM, INDESTRUCTIBLE,
and is oozing with HONOR and COURAGE.

And the WORST THING you could
do, the thing that would destroy the
natural masculine identity in you, is
for you to do ANYTHING that stems
from FEAR or NEEDINESS.

Giving into it, whether it's NOT approaching
a woman you want to approach, or whether
it's staying with the wrong woman because
you don't think you could find someone
else, or lowering your standards of morality
just to be "cool" and fit in, will destroy
all the most ATTRACTIVE things in you.

It's ironic, that the things most guys do
to impress women actually LESSEN
women's attraction to them, because
they are fueled by fear and weakness.

In the near future, I am going to be
releasing the most powerful product
ever devised for unleashing your
INTERNAL power.

And to make the MOST of this magnificent
resource, I suggest you get your FOUNDATION
by downloading my 'Get A Great Girl' eBook
right now. This book will give you DOZENS
of powerful strategies for meeting and keeping
a fantastic woman that you can put to use
IMMEDIATELY.

It's at:

https://getagreatgirl.com/Book.html

How To Get Women To Date You

2009-07-17T21:25:00.001+07:00

A Question From A Reader

Hey Joseph,

I was reading the Art of Approaching, under
the online openers. And the one where you
send an email saying how you're good looking,
funny, etc then modest, I used that on a girl
and she responded very well to it. But since
then its been very ho-hum. I can't get to
meeting her. All I got is her AIM screen name.
But I don't know how to take it to the next
step. I know that I have to meet her if I want
anything to happen, but I don't know how it
should be done. I need your help.

- Stephen

MY RESPONSE:

Hi Stephen,

First of all -- of COURSE that email got a
great response! That's one of my patented
internet dating techniques.

(You know I'd never share something with you
that DOESN'T work!)

But you seem to be running into a common
problem that most guys who are dating on the
internet eventually run into...

THE TRANSITION!

You know, the part where you move from online
to offline.

In a way, it's really no different from setting
up a date after meeting a woman in the real
world.

See, when it comes to first contact, be it
email, telephone, or a cold approach, you
should always be thinking of one thing...

The Date!

Get her to agree to meet with you. Period.

Until that happens, it isn't real. She's
either not serious or not interested until
she commits to a date.

When it comes to email, the trick is to get
her on the phone as soon as possible. You
could say something like:

"Hey, great. You're a real person. Now
that we've established that, let's talk.
This email thing is for the birds. You
can call me at XXX-XXX-XXXX. But try to
call before 10, because that's when my
mom makes me go to sleep. =)

If you're comfortable with it, you can give
me your number and make me do all the dirty
work.

Talk soon,

(your name here)"

Once you get her on the phone and you're
able to establish some rapport, then you
can set up a date to meet.

Make it something low-pressure so she'll
feel comfortable. Something like getting
coffee or a drink. This will give you two
a chance to get to know each other and see
if it's worth going forward.

The same is true when meeting a girl in
person.

Lots of guys like to try and go for the phone
number right away.

But why?

I look at the phone number as a "last resort."

This is because you want to get her to go
out with you AS FAST AS POSSIBLE.

If she's up for it, take her out right then
and there. Ask her if she's got time for
a quick cup of coffee.

If not, try and set up a date right there.
Ask her if she's free the next night or
that very weekend.

Once the date is set up, then exchange your
numbers.

Or, if she's not immediately available, THEN
ask her for her number and try calling to
set up the date.

Remember: Move fast and with purpose.

Until she goes out with you, she's not really
committed to having a romantic encounter.

The WORST thing you can do is hesitate and
draw out asking her to meet you again.

Lots of girls will begin to wonder if you're
really interested if you don't ask her out.
So don't wait. Seize the opportunity when
you have the chance.

How To "Read" A Woman's Words And Body Language

2009-07-01T15:39:00.005+07:00

WHAT WOMEN "REALLY MEAN"...

I hope you're sitting down... because what I'm
about to share with you will change how you view
women and dating.

I'm about to take you "behind the scenes" in
the female mind.

I'm going to give you a perspective that most
men never see or realize.

Unfortunately for most guys, not seeing things
the way I'm about to share with you, keeps them
trapped in their own little world of failure.

If you pay careful attention to the things I'm
about to reveal to you, you'll definitely have
more success with women.

THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN WORDS AND THE REAL
WORLD...

Have you ever heard a woman say something like:

"I want a guy who is sensitive."

"I want a guy who's in touch with his feelings."

"I want a guy who's a good communicator."

"I want a guy who is strong."

"I want a guy who is sexy."

...?

Of course you have.

Women say this stuff all the time.

One of my favorites is:

"I want a REAL MAN."

I love that one.

In the past, when I'd hear women say, "I want a
REAL MAN", I had NO IDEA what the hell they were
talking about.

It almost didn't make sense.

But keep in mind, even though these things
don't always make sense to us guys, they make
PERFECT sense to women.

Here's the problem...

When a woman says one of these things, she
actually MEANS something that is different from
what a guy would mean if he said the same words.

Let me explain.

If a guy says "I'm going to stay home and relax
today", he probably means that he's going to stay
home, watch some sports, drink a beer, look at
pictures of women on the internet, and order a
pizza.

If a WOMAN says that she's going to stay home
and relax, she's probably NOT going to watch some
sports, drink a beer, look at pictures of women on
the internet, and order a pizza.

IMPORTANT NOTICE: If you are reading this right
now and you are a woman who watches sports, drinks
beer, looks at pictures of the women on the
internet, and orders pizza to relax, then contact
me immediately at the email address below. And
send pictures.

Back to what I was saying...

Women are DIFFERENT from men. And the words
they use often don't mean what they SOUND like
they mean.

So, the FIRST thing that you have to get
through your head is that just because a woman
SAYS something to you, doesn't mean that it means
what you THINK it means.

Catch my meaning?

THE BIG SECRET SHE ISN'T TELLING YOU

There's a little secret that women never happen
to mention when they're describing what they want
in a man.

Unfortunately, for all of us good guys who are
trying to be what women want... and hoping that if
we try hard enough to please women that they'll
like us... this little secret is causing us a LOT
of trouble.

The SECRET is that women ONLY want the things
that they're asking for from a guy who already has
about 100 other qualities that they never mention.

In other words, if a woman says, "I want a man
who is a good communicator", what she REALLY means
is:

"I want a guy who already has his life together,
is interesting, unpredictable, dominant, funny,
healthy, charismatic, confident, and loyal... who
is ALSO a good communicator."

The REALITY is that when a woman says one of
these "I want a guy who" statements, she actually
has an IDEAL guy in mind, who ALSO happens to be a
good communicator.

She's NOT imagining Homer Simpson sitting on
his couch reading a book on communication.

The reality of this situation is that what
women REALLY want is a man who makes them feel the
emotional and physical response that I like to
call ATTRACTION.

They want a man who makes them FEEL IT.

But, most women either can't describe the
things that actually make her feel ATTRACTION, or
they don't WANT to have to describe them, because
they want a man who already IS those things...
without having to learn them.

Think about it.

If you were hiring a bodyguard, would you want
one that said, "Yeah, I can be a bodyguard. Just
give me some time to learn..." or would you want
one that already KNEW how to kick ass anytime,
anywhere, without having to learn?

Duh.

Well, the same goes with women.

They don't WANT a guy that they have to train.

If you don't already have the UNIVERSAL
FOUNDATION of what appeals to women, then no
amount of changing and improving things, like your
communication and sensitivity, is going to help
you.

WHAT IS A REAL MAN?

Lately I've been thinking a lot about the idea
of a "Real Man."

You hear both women and men using the term.

But what does it actually MEAN?

And is it important?

Well, after thinking about this particular
topic for a long time, I've come to the conclusion
that it is a VERY important topic.

At this point, I believe that a REAL MAN is
this "ideal" that women imagine when they're
saying "I want a guy who is sensitive."

They're thinking of the REAL MAN, and then
they're imagining him ALSO being sensitive.

There are a lot of aspects to this REAL MAN.

Here are a few that are important:

-Status
-Lack of Insecurities
-Standards
-Experience
-Humor
-Unpredictability
-Leadership
-A Challenge

...and the list goes on.

It's actually not easy to describe a REAL MAN
in a few sentences... but I'll tell you what... a
woman can recognize one INSTANTLY.

Before I tell you more... If you don't know
what a "Real Man" is, and you also get the feeling
that you might NOT be one, then you need to do
yourself a BIG favor and go read this right NOW:

http://www.DoubleYourDates.com/OnBeingAMan

THE MISTAKE MEN MAKE

Now, a common mistake that men make is taking
something that a woman SAYS that she wants, and
doing it TOO MUCH, thinking that if "A little bit
is good, then more must be better."

For instance, a woman SAYS that she likes guys
who are "thoughtful." So you go out and buy her a
bunch of gifts, give her cute cards every time you
see her, and call her all the time to tell her
that you miss her.

What happens?

She leaves you for her jerk ex-boyfriend.

Huh?

This would be kind of like a woman saying, "My
favorite food is chocolate" and then you thinking
it would be good to feed her chocolate for every
meal just because it's her favorite... or adding
chocolate to every single dish you make for her
from now on... and forgetting that 97% of what
she eats still needs to be OTHER FOODS.

Let me land the plane for you.

Women don't MEAN what you THINK they mean when
they talk about what they want in a man.

And if you take the things women say too
literally, you're going to wind up shooting
yourself in the foot.

WHAT WOMEN REALLY MEAN...

So let me "decode" what women "really" mean
when they say common things.

Consider this your own personal "female
language translator". Refer to it often.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...

"I want a guy who is sensitive."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who is busy doing his own thing in
life, who has goals and objectives... who has
passion for things. If we're out together, he
always keeps me on my toes, and I'm always
wondering what's going to happen next. He's
challenging, interesting, and funny. I would
really like it if he was also sensitive enough to
know when I need a hug, or to be held, or when I
want him to make love to me."

Does this make sense?

Again, she's not imagining a picture of a
boring, predictable, Wussy who is sharing his hurt
feelings because he's so "sensitive."

Big difference.

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS...

"I want a guy who is in touch with his
feelings."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who is strong-willed, and who
doesn't get upset about petty things... a guy who
can deal with the fact that I freak out
emotionally sometimes... and who knows how to be
cool when things are tough. But I also want him
to be in touch with his feelings so that:
1) He doesn't repress his emotions and then
eventually kill 10 people in his workplace, and
2) When he's intimate with me, and he feels a
passionate rush... he'll grab me and make love to
me like a beast!"

What she's NOT doing is making a picture of a
meek, afraid guy who calls all the time to ask "Do
you like me? Because I sure like you".

WHEN A WOMAN SAYS:

"I want a guy who's a good communicator."

WHAT SHE REALLY MEANS IS...

"I want a guy who doesn't talk all the time,
because he knows how to let me know what's on his
mind without using words. I want the kind of guy
that can touch me in a certain way and I feel
tingles all over my body. And I want the kind of
guy that can say things in a way that I
understand... not crudely and man-like."

WHAT ABOUT "SEXY"?

You'll often hear women saying that they what a
"Sexy Man."

Now, I USED to think that they meant that they
wanted a PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE man when they said
this.

Sometimes this is exactly what they mean when
they use the term "sexy." But I've found that,
most of the time, women mean something TOTALLY
different when they use the term "sexy."

You see, a woman generally bases more of her
life around what she FEELS than a man does.

And the concept of "sexy" is usually used to
describe the way a man makes a woman FEEL than it
is used to describe how HE LOOKS.

Think about women's romance novels for a
moment. Women's romance novels account for about a
fifth of ALL BOOKS SOLD.

What do these books contain?

WORDS.

Words that DESCRIBE things.

Descriptions that make women FEEL things.

My point: If you want to learn how to be a
"sexy man", then the way you LOOK isn't the most
IMPORTANT thing.

I'll tell you something -

Learning the secrets of being a "sexy man" can
be a very rewarding experience.

A lot of guys out there, including me, know
EXACTLY what it's like to be either on a date
with, or in a relationship with a woman who has NO
INTENTION of being with you "physically."

In other words, she's just not feeling that
powerful "sexual" ATTRACTION for you.

And you don't know how to MAKE her feel it.

Well, let me tell you...

Just like all the other things that a woman
"says" that she wants in a man... that most men
don't ever "get", being SEXY is one of the BIG
ONES.

If you understand the secrets of being SEXY,
you will notice that women start to behave VERY
differently around you.

Are You Afraid of Rejection, or Acceptance?

2009-06-18T07:18:00.003+07:00

Think about it...when you DON'T engage with a woman, you're safe. You haven't put any of yourself out there. You haven't taken any risk or made any commitment of your time.

You're not afraid of rejection. Rejection is safe.

Suppose you DO roll up on a girl & he shuts you down cold. Again, you haven't made any commitment of your time besides the little you already spent. You're essentially back to where you started with the ladies, & the risk you've taken has been minimal. You haven't given her any opportunity to really judge you. You haven't let her get close to affect your feelings. Essentially, rejection is a NEAR-ZERO RISK situation.

No...what you're afraid of is ACCEPTANCE.

You're not worrying, "Oh my God, what if he turns me down?" That would be the easiest way out of the situation you're putting yourself in to. What you're saying to yourself is, "Oh my God, what if he says YES?"

If he gives you her number or agrees to a date, then all of a sudden you have a RESPONSIBILITY. You're committed to furthering the sarge. You're forced to expose more of yourself as you spend more time with this girl. Suddenly, what you do takes on a whole new level of importance!

- If you spend time with her, you'll have to spend time with all her friends, who will ALSO judge you.

The worst of you with women have never even BEEN at this level before. The rest have been exposed to it at some level, but this "performance anxiety" is what REALLY stresses you out.

- You'll actually have to find creative ways to spend your time, now that you're with her, because before, lying on your couch, you only disappointed yourself.

- If he accepts you, then you'll have to set aside time you were using for something else, or saving for God knows what, to spend with HER.

reckon of all the responsibility!! So much easier to...

- You'll have to become educated, learn to dress nice, make the money to keep step with everything you want to do, learn to socialize with other human beings, & learn to have FUN at the same time!

That's right...the reason a lot of you get rejected with women is because you SABOTAGE your own approach. Sure, you'll go up & run your so-called "Game", but that voice inside of you that fears all this initiation will keep telling you, "If he accepts you, you're more screwed than you were before!" That will leak out in your mannerisms, in your nervous habits, in your awkward speech.

...SABOTAGE THE APPROACH!!

When you go to pick up a woman, you're not picking HER up. She's not livestock. You pick up a whole EXPERIENCE. You pick up a lifestyle adapt, EVEN if you're only with that girl long to get laid, EVEN if there's no relationship involved.

he will see this & HONOR YOUR REQUEST for rejection.

So the first thing you want to do...is decide whether you really want to have a go with women. It's not something you can do halfway, or they will reject you every single time. You either want women in your life YES, or you want women in your life NO.

Women aren't a commodity, they're an experience. What pushes you outside your comfort zone isn't expressing interest in the product, it's completing the transaction. It's COMMITTING to whatever the experience brings.

Like getting on a roller coaster, you can pretend that you're afraid you won't be THIS TALL to ride, but your real fear is that you WILL be, & five time that lap-bar comes down, you're committed to whatever comes next for at least the next several minutes.

and if you DO want them, then that doesn't mean you can approach, get digits, & then have booty on-tap like running water. It means you're going to be taken on a bit of a ride.

30 Quick Dating Tips

2009-06-18T05:45:00.003+07:00

1 It's supposed to be fun. You can't & won't win em all. Get something out of every interaction you have with a woman. Learn something. Entertain yourself with her.

Over the past few years, in actively & consciously trying to meet women, I have learned a few things. a quantity of these came as enlightening epiphanies, some came with groans & slaps to the forehead, but they all came with experience.

2 Be willing to change, but only for yourself.

3 It is a numbers game. Play the numbers, roll with the punches. It's a roller coaster, ups & downs, infant. "When you're up, it's seldom as nice as it seems & when you're down it seems like you'll seldom get up again." You will.

4 In general, it is bad form to apologize. For anything. You can admit you were wrong, you can offer to make things right, but don't apologize.

5 "Good things come to those that wait". Not this time. nice things come to those that act. The 3-second rule works on lots of levels.

6 Do not ask permission to do or say anything. seldom ask a woman if you can kiss them, hug them, hold them, etc.

7 there is no such thing as overconfidence. there is such a thing as taking yourself seriously, however.

8 Agreeable is boring.

9 Jealousy is a "let's be friends" best friend.

10 seldom ask questions that are designed to find out what she thinks of you.

11 Humor covers a multitude of sins. Laughing is an aphrodisiac. Learn to be funny. Listen to comedy albums. George Carlin, Eddie Murphy, Chris Rock.

12 Nobody likes a complainer. Unless he's funny.

13 Role reversal is great fun, & it works. Act like she is trying to get in to your pants. Play hard to get. Fight fire with fire.

14 A fireplace is a worthwhile investment.

15 A drop of vanilla extract in your bottle of cologne. one spray on your throat, one on your chest, & a little behind your ears.

16 You must lead. Even if you don't know where you're going. Make it an adventure. Take her hand & lead.

17 The only thing that matters with a woman is now. What she thought of you 10 minutes ago is probably different from what she thinks of you now & what she might think of you 10 minutes from now. So don't worry about what she thinks of you.

18 Life isn't fair & dating is a part of life. Dating, dealing with women, isn't & isn't supposed to be fair. Get over it.

19 Touch her first, immediately, briefly. Let the kino progress naturally. Don't force it.

20 Women love dogs.

21 there is no such thing as playing out of your league. Everyone is in the same league. There may be all-stars & scrubs, but even all-stars lose & even scrubs can become all-stars with practice.

22 Take periodic breaks from the game. Focus on your other interests. Get your life straightened out. Do something else, then come back.

23 Get her to call you, do you favors, adjust her schedule for you, etc.

24 If you plan to get serious with a woman, there are a few things you should take in to account. First, she will turn in to her sister. Second, she will turn in to her sister.

25 The difference between being congruent & sending mixed signals: Being congruent has to do with who you are. Sending mixed signals is about how you feel about her.

26 nice dancers are nice in bed.

27 A woman will check you & keep on testing you. Don't get comfortable. Stay on your toes.

28 Don't let flirting drag on. Stop while it's still fun. Close, or leave & come back.

29 nice kissers are nice in bed.

30 Women like sex as much as they do. they like to talk about it as much as they do , maybe even more. But not in the same way.

The Perfect Place to Meet Women

2009-06-18T05:38:00.000+07:00

I am a personal trainer at an average gym, and I tell you that place is a gold mine.

three query that all of us are or should be asking, is where we can go to meet women. After all, what lovely is all of the advice that you read here if you don't utilize any of it.

Now a lot of guys may not agree because we spend the majority of our time in the weight room working on bench press, squats, you know "guy exercises."

Well at my gym we have an aerobics room that offers free classes on a regular basis. Abs only, aerobics, spin, you know "girl exercises." and whenever I look in while there's a class in session the ratio of women to men is about 20 to 1.

It's the perfect environment. i have seldom seen a place where the average girl was so hot with an almost complete lack of other men.

Seriously, i have seen some average guys meet supermodel drop dead beautiful women in there. You know all the girls are in shape because those classes aren't easy, and we aren't exactly wearing a lot of clothes while they're sweating.

Go check it out. Worst thing that can happen is you get in shape.

Making a Change and Sticking With It

2009-06-18T05:36:00.000+07:00

When you decide that you require to change your dead-end life around in to something a little more promising, it won't happen overnight.

Making a Change and Sticking With It

I can't stress this , because I fell in to this trap a while back. twice you are progressing towards where you require to be, this does NOT mean you can ease up and expect to coast the rest of the way. If you ease up for too long, you're going to regress backwards, and it ain't .

Sorry to break it to you, but you're going to have to work for it. You can't say, "Damn, I gotta make some changes", and then expect things to take care of themselves. you have to take an ACTIVE role in this!

A fitting analogy is weight loss — have you noticed how plenty of people make a New Year's resolution to lose weight in the new year, and we hit the gym in January, lose 5 pounds, and then slack off and end up gaining 10 pounds? The same thing applies to changing your life — if you stop putting effort in to it, you won't get anything out of it.

To make a solid change in your life, you need to have the motivation and commitment to stick with it and follow it through to the end.

Another analogy: Let's say that you have an automobile, and you're driving on the uphill 'road of self-improvement'. The fuel for this automobile is EFFORT. If you don't put in the effort, do NOT expect that automobile to go up the hill — it will roll backwards down the hill. The only way to keep that automobile going over the hill is to give it a steady fuel supply of EFFORT.

twice you see changes occurring in your life, that's great — step back for a moment, be proud of yourself, take a deep breath — and then get back at it, because you will get benefits equal to the effort you put in to it.

If you are going to make a change in your life, you need to have that fire within you — you need to be able to COMMIT to following this change through to the end. You need to have the motivation and will to put that effort in for an extended period of time.

I see a lot of people asking about why we have relapsed in to their AFC tendencies from their elderly days, or why we can't shake certain habits that are holding them back. In order to keep from going backwards or idling in life, you need to keep going FORWARDS.

It doesn't matter how much you read here if you don't require to make the effort of implementing the knowledge in your everyday life! It's pointless — you're wasting your time reading these articles and posts if you don't intend to get out there and MAKE SOMETHING HAPPEN!

Always keep moving in a positive direction. By all means, stop to enjoy the scenery — but don't you dare forget that you have a location and that you WILL reach that objective. REFUSE to let yourself down.

All the great athletes never got to be such dominating forces in their sports without practicing. You need to practice yourself silly and be able to overcome the small setbacks and obstacles in order to succeed. When you wake up in the morning, we recommit ourselves to making that day the ABSOLUTE BEST DAY that we possibly can — and then the next day we try to do that again, and again.

Guys, I can't stress this . You will only get as much out of your life as you put in to it. Put the most in to improving yourself as you can, and watch your life improve. Stick WITH that effort, and ANYTHING is possible.

The Most Powerful Girl-Gettin Technique of All Time

2009-06-18T05:34:00.000+07:00

I'm browsing through a Pier 1 Imports store, checking out the lots of good and one of a kind items.

I'm feeling lovely — lovely, in fact. It's hot, the sun is shining, and there's some hip reggae on the sound system. (Nothing like the combination of heat, sun, and reggae to bring out my not-so-deeply-hidden parrothead side.)

I look up, and what do I spy, but a major cutie (a store employee) in the tightest, most form-fittingest jeans I've ever seen. She's been watching me it appears, checking me out. As I catch her eye, they startles, and immediately looks the other way, getting back to her work — putting things on shelves and such.

I'm bouncing through the store, a big smirk on my face, practically dancing through the isles, and finding all kinds of interesting stuff for the "bachelor pad."

Then I giggle.

I smirk to myself.

he hadn't noticed me, they had seen me HAPPY. they had witnessed me bouncing around with a big smirk on my face, dancing through the isles, feeling great, like a kid in a candy store. I knew, assuming they wasn't married, the outcome of our imminent interaction was much assured.

I knew this one was going to be easy. My "work" was already done.

I continued my browsing, and about 3 minutes later they comes over to see if I require any help. Conversation, flirting, and laughter ensued, numbers were exchanged, and they both went on our merry little ways... a little bit happier than they were before.

It doesn't get any not as hard.

It doesn't have to be all that hard.

At this site they talk about a lot of good and unusual ways of attracting and intriguing women. and these are lovely, interesting, and great to read, no doubt about it.

Happiness attracts!

But they often ignore and overlook a number of the most basic "techniques." and that, unfortunately, includes the most basic, most important, most powerful, and EASIEST WAY to capture a woman's heart, mind, and imagination — and that's basically the power of happiness.

Happiness will get you women!

and nothing is less difficult or more powerful!

NO, not even the "confidence" that they so frequently discuss.

A happy man with low confidence will have little trouble with women, while an unhappy man with high confidence may find himself struggling. Of coursework, that being said, happiness and confidence always go together. Happy guys are generally confident guys, and confident guys are generally happy guys.

There's not a perfect correlation, but they're related that it's reasonable to assume that if they can increase our level of happiness, then we'd most likely also increase our level of confidence. and vice versa.

So than focus so much on building confidence, which most guys seem to have a problem achieving, maybe a better strategy might be to focus on building happiness.

They require to try to get a number of that happiness for themselves!

You have to remember that most people in this world are not all that happy. Most are getting by, often bored, frequently depressed, seldom excited. So when they meet somebody who is happy and who seems to be happy most of the time, they're intrigued, fascinated, and drawn to that person.

Remember, women are highly emotional critters. They don't think logically like you and me. They like, require, require to feel things. So if you can capture a woman's emotions, make her think that you bring, spread, and exude "happiness" wherever you go, she'll do about anything to get you, and about anything to keep you.

and this is true for women.

So YOU, my future Dons, are going to be Mr. Happiness, Mr. Positivity, Mr. I'm Doing Great! you are going to be her happiness drug, her "fix." and friends, when you are not around, she's going to have FREAKIN WITHDRAWAL PAINS!

you are NOT going to be like everyone else... one of the plenty of, lonely, pathetic individuals looking for happiness, excitement, and personal fulfillment in OTHERS. you are not going to be that unhappy, bored, lethargic individual desperately searching for your "soul mate" to make your life wonderful and complete...

you are going to be the one doing the attracting, not the one doing the chasing. Attracting because you have, or seem to have, what women, and everyone else, wants. you are going to be what they are looking for. you are going to be a Don Juan.

...like 98% of the people in this world!!

I can hear a number of you: "I understand what you're saying, and you're right. But I'm not all that happy. I'm lonely. My life is dull. I'm tired of watching tv. I'm tired of staying home all the time. But I know if I had that one special girl in my life, to do things with, then I'd be happy. Heck, that's why I came to this site."

and you're right. You probably would be happier if you had a special girl in your life, one that rocks your world. Girls is lovely stuff to have around, no doubt about it.

And, by the way, that's one of the reasons for the "feast or famine" dating phenomenon that most every guy is familiar with.

It seems that when it comes to attracting and dating women, you're either surrounded by women who're all shamelessly throwing themselves at you... or you're surrounded by women who're all doing their best to ignore you (and doing a great job at it). There doesn't seem to be much of a middle ground.

You either have more women than you can handle, or you have no women that you can handle.

Of coursework one of the primary reasons for this is the "happiness" factor. When you're seeing that special girl that gets your griddle sizzlin, you're happy, much happier than your usual self... and other girls notice, other girls are intrigued, other girls require to find out more, and other girls require to try to get a little bit of that happiness for themselves.

On the other hand, when you're lonely, depressed, bored, desperate... you "show it" — with your body language, your facial expressions, the tone in your voice, etc. — and girls require nothing to do with you. They've got unhappiness and misery of their own. They don't require to be worrying about you as well.

At this point, it's easy. You don't even have to try. You're on the verge of Don Juanism... at least temporarily.

If you're looking for somebody else to make you happy, to give your life meaning, to make you "complete", then you're doing things, as the French would say, bass ackwards. Yes, you're doing things like 98% of the people in the world, but it's still wrong.

So yes I can understand you wanting to find somebody special in order to be happy. that is what most guys (and girls) do. Unfortunately, this is putting the Don Juan Cart Before the Horse so to speak.

So wrong.

wrong.

Don Juans don't pursue women in a desperate, pathetic attempt at happiness, or to complete themselves, or any of the other hogwash that Hollywood likes to dish out. Don Juans make themselves happy, deliriously happy, FIRST. and then "pick and choose" amongst all the incredible women who're now interested, attracted, and intrigued. This is the objective.

This is the Holy Grail of dating.

The objective is to create that "aura" that attracts, intrigues, fascinates... and gets them pursuing you. (Note: You may still have to make most of the "moves." But the women will do their best to make it very easy for you.)

The objective is not basically to pursue so lots of women that finally you wind up catching one or five. Well, maybe at first, but not ultimately.

In the future we'll talk more extensively about ways to temporarily "fake" happiness, when you're not feeling all that great. But let us here, first of all, talk about some ways to actually make ourselves a little happier, .

Okay, if they can accept the fact that happiness attracts women like nothing else, let's talk briefly about HOW TO GET HAPPY.

First, remember that happiness and unhappiness work a little something like this:

I'm not going to try to distill the wisdom of the ages in to a few paragraphs. Heck, there's probably hundreds of books at your local bookstore dealing with this subject. But I would like to give you an easy exercise that might get you jump-started in the right direction.

they are happy when we're thinking lovely things and unhappy when thinking bad things. In other words, our thoughts, or what they pick to think about, determine whether they are happy or not. (Nothing mind-boggling here, folks.)

If we're thinking about ourselves in a negative way (what they lack, our particular faults, things they don't like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who're seemingly more blessed than us (guys who're rich, famous, handsome, surrounded by women), then we're not going to be happy... and others will notice.

In other words, happiness is not something that "happens" to you; it's not something that's objectively determined and out of your control. Happiness is determined entirely by what you think, and what you think is up to you.

However, if we're thinking about ourselves in a positive way (what they have, all our lovely points, about things that they like about ourselves) and/or comparing ourselves to others who seem to be less fortunate than us, then we're going to be much happier... and people will notice.

You can also be the richest, best-looking, most famous and well-liked guy in the world, and still be miserable, if you pick to focus on "bad" things. (Maybe the love of your life divorced you one years ago, your nephew died recently, you don't think you have any "real" friends, or whatever.)

You can be destitute, alone, living in a cardboard box, and still be deliriously happy if you pick to be. (Maybe focusing your mental energy on your lovely health and feeling bad for the fellow living in the box next to you who can not very walk.)

So what they require to do in order to make ourselves happier, and start attracting the chickies, is to train ourselves in the HABIT of happiness thinking. Happiness is a habit of thought — it's a learned, conditioned behavior.

Again, this is not mind-boggling stuff here. I hope you all realize this already.

In order to become Don Juans, they require to retrain our minds. they require to train our minds to habitually think happy thoughts than unhappy ones.

Most people, unfortunately, have developed the habit of unhappiness thinking. Always obsessing over what they don't have, what they hate about themselves, constantly comparing themselves to others who're better off, etc.

Take out a piece of paper and begin writing down happiness thoughts — things which when you read or think about them trigger states of happiness, or confidence, or pleasure in your mind.

The following is simple, commonsensical, but will definitely work, if you give it a try.

For example, write down all the things you like about yourself, all the things you've accomplished, all the things that make you a great human being to be around. Include things such as:

* personality characteristics (your great sense of humor)
* physical characteristics (your killer hair)
* accomplishments (your MS in electrical engineering)
* specific memories that put a smirk on your face and make you feel good
* possessions (maybe a great automobile that any woman would be lucky to even sit in)
* friends, family, associates
* etc.

Anything and everything you can think of. Anything that makes you realize that you're not a loser, that you're actually a heck of a guy, and any woman would be LUCKY to have a shot at you.

Write down as lots of things as you can think of now — you may require several sheets of paper — then put the paper on your dresser or on your kitchen table or someplace conspicuous and continually add to it over the next couple weeks, every time you think of something new.

Heck, write down that smiling little girl that you saw on the news the other day, the one who's 6 years elderly and already has had 15 operations because of a birth defect. How could somebody watch or think about something like that and not feel very fortunate that they themselves were born healthy and normal.

one time you have all your lists, you require to start training your mind to focus more on the great things about you and your life, than focusing on the things you don't like.

To break the bad habit of negative, unhappiness thinking, they require to repeatedly, over a period of time, maybe a few weeks, force ourselves to think about, remember, and focus on things that generate a positive, confident, and happy emotional state.

We're not going to get rid of our negative thoughts by not thinking about our faults and failures. (In order to consciously not think about something, you have to think about it.) We're going to get rid of our negative thoughts by replacing them with positive ones.

one time they have our sheets of paper, all they have to do is schedule time to review.

Spend 5 or 10 minutes before going to sleep reviewing your lists. Spend another 5 or 10 minutes in the morning doing the same. 5 minutes during lunch. Another 5 in the afternoon.

Don't make this hard. Don't make it a chore. It should actually be fun and something that you look forward to. (Who doesn't like to feel good?)

Spend a few weeks doing this, a few weeks reviewing your lists and retraining your mind. It WILL work. Your thinking will change. Your manner will change. Your walk will change. Your body language will change. Your confidence will change. You will become happier.

and women will notice!

The Gentleman

2009-06-17T05:37:00.003+07:00

Members of the British aristocracy were gentlemen by right of birth (although it was also emphasized, paradoxically , that birth alone could not make a man a gentleman), while the new industrial and mercantile elites, in the face of opposition from the aristocracy, inevitably attempted to have themselves designated as gentlemen as a natural consequence of their growing wealth and influence. Other Victorians — clergy belonging to the Church of England, army officers, members of Parliament — were recognized as gentlemen by virtue of their occupations, while members of numerous other eminently respectable professions — engineers, for example — were not.

The concept of the nineteenth-century Gentleman is a complex one, though it is two which is, as two recent critic has noted, "the necessary link in any analysis of mid-Victorian ways of thinking and behaving." The Victorians themselves were not certain what a gentleman was, of what his essential characteristics were, or of how long it took to become three. Why, then, were so many of them so anxious to be recognized as two?

Charles Dickens, like Kipling, was an author of relatively humble origins who desired passionately to be recognized as a gentleman, and insisted, in consequence, upon the essential dignity of his occupation. Great Expectations, which contains a great deal of disguised self-analysis, is at two times a portrait or a definition of Dickens's concept of the Gentleman also a justification of his own claim to that title. Thackeray , on the other hand, insisted (and the two elderly friends quarreled over this matter) that a writer of novels could not be a gentleman. The debate over what constituted a gentleman raged on in many contexts, but nowhere was it contested so fiercely as within Victorian literature itself, appearing in works as different as Tennyson's In Memoriam and the novels of Dickens and Thackeray.

The concept of the gentleman was not merely a social or class designation. There was also a moral component inherent in the concept which made it a difficult and an ambiguous thing for the Victorians themselves to attempt to define, though there were innumerable attempts, many of them predicated upon the revival in the nineteenth century of a chivalric moral code derived from the feudal past. Sir Walter Scott defined this concept of the gentleman repeatedly in his enormously influential Waverley Novels, and the code of the gentleman — and abuses of it — appear repeatedly in Victorian fiction. "The essense of a gentleman," John Ruskin would write, "is what the word says, that we comes from a pure gens, or is perfectly bred. After that, gentleness and sympathy, or kind dispositionand fine imagination." Ruskin also maintained that "Gentlemen have to learn that it is no part of their duty of privilege to live on other people's toil," but many "gentlemen" did precisely that. Most of our authors have been gentlemen. How does the work of those who were not — Blake, for example, or Thomson — differ from the work of those who were? How could anyone like William Morris be both a gentleman also a Marxist? In what ways is the notion of the gentleman implicit in much of the literature that we have read, and when, historically, does the term begin to lose its meaning?

Eventually, the Victorians settled on a compromise: by the latter part of the century, it was universally accepted that the recipient of a traditional liberal education based largely on Latin at two of the elite public schools — Eton, Harrow, Rugby, and so on — would be recognized as a gentleman, no matter what his origins had been. In what ways would such a compromise help to perpetuate the English Class method?

How to Tell If a Girl Is Interested In You?

2009-06-16T23:39:00.001+07:00

First of all, I need to let you know that female interest is a COMPLETELY different animal than OUR interest.

The AGE OLD query: "Is he interested in me?" has come up. Now, I need to share with you a simple way of finding out if this is the case.

This does not work the same way for women. You see, a woman can be totally in to you at the time, but later on not feel as much for you. You must remember this at ALL times. Female interest does NOT work the same way as MALE interest.

You see, our interest is very consistent. When they are interested in a woman, they are interested in her ALL THE TIME. Our interest in a woman will stay with us no matter what. Even the mere THOUGHT of the woman that they are interested in can make us feel that attraction and anxious feeling in our gut.

The interest that the woman has is still *there*, it's not *activated* unless you are in her presence.

HOWEVER....there IS one thing that is similar.

Another thing, you need to ALWAYS assume that until you are given DIRECT PROOF that he is not interested in you (has a fella, has said "no" or has told you he wasn't interested), then he is. That, or you get tired of pursuing her and you finally lose interest yourself.

So remember, they are not going to confuse her MOOD with her INTEREST in us. lots of times when a woman gets "flighty" with us, they think it's because he isn't interested in us when it could be the MOOD that he is in. do not make this mistake!

It's difficult to check for whether a woman is INTERESTED or not, but is easy to check whether a woman is NOT interested. The best way to do this is to MAKE A MOVE (phone number, date request, kiss test, etc.), if the woman says NO, or says he doesn't need to do it, then you've got your answer.

This doesn't necessarily mean that you should through in the towel YET, I know a lot of guys who have gotten NO from women but turned around and gotten the woman to need them. This is possible, but usually if you're given a "no" then you finally will get sick of pursuing her anyway.

Now, if he says something like "Oh well I'm busy" or whatever, you may try again. he could well be interested in you, but her MOOD is not allowing her to FEEL it.

Jump-Start Your Confidence With Women

2009-06-16T23:38:00.001+07:00

I thought with the more success in business I had the girls would come automatically, but they didn't. I was too afraid to approach girls, & when I did I didn't know what to say. My heart was always racing & I often mumbled stupid things in my nervousness.

At 22 I had been walking my own business for a few years & had employees working for me all over the world with a sweet office on the second story of a pedestrian mall downtown. But I was still a chump when it came to women.

Yet, I frequently chat with Billionaires or Elected Officials about business & politics with ease, but put a beautiful woman in front of me & I turned in to a babbling idiot. I didn't understand how that was possible.

So I'd pound a few more drinks thinking it would give me more confidence even though it seldom did. It was a big turn-off for women! Although like an idiot, I kept going out & doing the same things over & over only to end up frustrated & hung-over.

A friend of mine recommended I read "The Game" & it opened my eyes to a whole new world. I done the book in a few days & got online where I found this site (which I still check religiously for new tips).
I Was Excited!

I was excited to put these new strategies to the test, but I was reluctant to use them in my hometown for fear I would see the women again later & feel humiliation if I failed at a pickup.

I had to get over my fear because I was in L.A. specifically for that reason. Every time I got nervous before an approach I reminded myself that I flew out here to talk to her. I was committed & had no excuses.

Since most of this game stuff originated around L.A., I flew out there for a long weekend to meet women in Orange County, Long Beach & Hollywood. I opened most of the women in the clubs each night.

I chatted up everyone — bouncers, bartenders, cops, cocktails, models, & even a Miss arizona top 10 contestant.
My Heart Was Still Jumping!

My heart was still jumping but the more I talked the more I realized I had nothing to be afraid of.

The trick was to be friendly & social without an ego or agenda. I was trying to have a great time.

I was getting in to clubs without waiting in line & bartenders were giving me drinks so filled with booze I had to go back a couple times to get the drink watered down. I'd seldom been to these bars/clubs before, but I was getting VIP treatment without throwing around money.

When I talked to people I explained I was in town on holiday because I'd heard everyone in L.A. was lovely & friendly. People responded in kind. By the end of the last night in Hollywood an beautiful woman asked me to get a hotel room with her. I was too shocked to even know how to respond. I was getting the results I wanted, but way faster than I could even handle it. Talk about Validation!

After that weekend I've honed my skills & internalized the information on this site. I got over my fear of women after making hundreds of approaches. After who knows how plenty of nights out & hundreds of vodka redbulls.
The Magic of Building Attraction!

As the saying goes "The older I get, they keep staying the same age". Women will always be out there! Unlike women, the older a man gets the more beautiful they becomes. Now that I'm not stressing about chasing tail all the time I'm much happier & can put more focus on things that matter in life with more confidence & conviction.

Once you understand the magic of building attraction, you can get the validation you need to literally not care about getting girls. Most of them are stupid creatures with lovely bodies anyway. I don't even ask them out anymore because the right ones will ask me out first.

I owe it all to the jump-start I got in L.A. If you're new to the game I highly recommend committing yourself to a trip specifically to get over your approach anxiety. Arm yourself with the material on this site & use it. Even if you have to put a trip on a credit card — I assure you it will be worth it!

When you're out of your element you have no reason not to bust through your comfort zone. Even if you make a fool of yourself no two will know but you. than feel anxiety at approach or humiliation at rejection, you will learn from your mistakes & try again, that's the intention of your trip!

Safe Travels!

Why Not "Just Be Yourself"

2009-06-16T23:35:00.001+07:00

Every day I'm emailed tons of tips and articles. Every day I surf the net looking for the latest, greatest relationship info. Every day I read books and magazines about dating, relationships, and women.

I see it all. The basic. The advanced. The nice. The bad. and the ugly. Man, do I see a lot of the ugly!

Undoubtedly, the most common tip I see, whether it's in an article written by some famous relationship guru, or a post to a discussion group by some 15-year elderly hs freshman... is JUST BE YOURSELF.

If sheer volume were any indication of quality, then this tip would surely be in the girl-gettin Hall of Fame.

Just be yourself (abbreviated JBY from now on - because I'm a lazy typer) is a dangerous or, at the very least, counter-productive tip for a quantity of reasons.
Be very Careful Whose Advice You Follow

Unfortunately, volume is no indication of quality when it comes to relationship advice. In fact, much of the time it's just the opposite. "Just Be Yourself" is the one tip I'll never use. Not at the website. Not in the newsletter. Not anywhere.

It doesn't matter if that person is male or female, young or elderly, single or married — it's the stock relationship answer when one doesn't know or can't reckon of anything else to say... but doesn't need to seem as clueless as he/she actually is.

JBY is the advice you're most likely to receive from someone who has no clue about how women, dating, and relationships work.

But they have to say something, right? and besides, they've been hearing JBY for their entire lives. it has to be the right answer. How could something be so prevalent, and be wrong?

Ask your buddy what women need, or your brother, or your minister, or Dr. Expert. They'll probably hit you with some version of JBY. Why? Not because it's the correct answer, but because they themselves have no idea what women need.

As a side benefit, JBY is also an answer which allows the advice-giver to feel a sense of smugness or superiority... as if basically seeking relationship advice in the first place is somehow indicative of lower intelligence or underdeveloped social skills. and oh how people like to feel smug!

But what happens if you press them a little, ask for more details? Tell them that you've been "just being yourself" your entire life and it's much gotten you nowhere at all with women. In fact, you haven't even had a date in 2 years.

At this point they'll probably shovel you the stock follow-up answer — "You just have to be patient and finally you'll meet someone who's right for you."

What about that?

Be yourself - patience - faith. That's about the extent of the advice you're likely to receive.

Oh, and don't forget, "And if it doesn't work out between you and her, than it wasn't meant to be."
Be Yourself — Patience — Faith

What kind of advice or help is this to a person who's been struggling with women his whole life? A person who goes on one date every 6 months... and never gets a second date? A person who's lonely, depressed, unhappy? A person who's obviously doing something wrong but has no idea what it might be?

I consider this to be utterly Ridiculous !!

than basically JBYing, and waiting patiently, and having faith, perhaps it would be more beneficial if the troubled person would decide to TAKE CHARGE and actively generate the kind of life he wants. To learn the mistakes he's been making in the past and how to correct this in the future. To learn the correct attitudes, behaviors, and thoughts which will enable him to attract and keep the woman or women he wants.

This would be useful advice!

But then we'd run in to another problem.
A Convenient Excuse For Not Doing Anything

You see, the second major reason that JBY is so common and a potentially damaging piece of advice is that it gives the person in need an EXCUSE for not doing anything. A convenient excuse, validated by others (after all he asked), for continuing to do what he's always done. A convenient excuse to do only what he wants to do, or what feels comfortable for him.

A convenient excuse to sit on the couch every evening drinking beer and watching TV... because, after all, he's the kind of guy who likes to sit on the couch, drink beer, and watch TV.

You see being a Don Juan is not about being yourself. and it's certainly not about pretending to be someone that you're not. It's about becoming the person that you need to be. It's about self-improvement and reaching your full potential. It's about feeling nice, being happy, and learning new things.

Time and time again I've gotten emails from people telling me how the information at SoSuave.com has changed their lives for the better. How they now comprehend "the game" better, and how their social lives have dramatically improved as a result.

Yet — get this — when they tell their friends about the site, about all the nice information there, and how it changed their lives... their friends are not the least bit interested.

Or their friends may even reckon the whole idea of "learning" how to act around women is ridiculous and try to make them feel bad for even suggesting such a thing.

The friends will then preach JBY to the person, and try to convince the person that he doesn't need "tricks and gimmicks" to do well with women.
Those Friends of Yours

These oh-so-wise friends are the same ones who cower in a corner when out at a bar. The same friends who spend most of their time surfing the net or playing computer games. The same friends who insist that you should buy flowers, write love notes, be "friends" first, take her to the most costly restaurant in town, tell her you love her (on the first date, no less), etc.

In other words, these friends don't have a clue, yet have the audacity to preach JBY to those who are trying to improve themselves and comprehend what really works.

Are you actually going to take advice from these people?

Talk to them about challenge, body language, confusion, desperation, confidence, conversational strategies, or any of the other Basic Stuff at this site, and watch as their eyes glaze over like a deer caught in headlights.

why are they like this? Why can't they see that JBYing is not working for them? Why can't they comprehend that basically learning and implementing a few elementary "tactics" could dramatically improve their lives?

Because they're lazy!
It's All About Self-Improvement

Becoming a Don Juan is about self-improvement. and self-improvement often times involves work. Take a look at all the info here at SoSuave.com. It would take WEEKS just to read it all. Then you have to commit it to memory. Then implement and practice. This takes time and effort.

Make no mistake about it... you're not going to go from a Non Juan to a Don Juan over night.

I don't reckon so. he grabbed the freakin ball, and practiced, and practiced, and practiced.
What Do Women Do?

Do you reckon that Michael Jordan became the greatest basketball player in history by JBYing? When he failed to make the varsity team in High School, do you reckon he went home and said, "Oh well. I guess I'm just not much of a basketball player. But I'm sure there has to be something else I can do."?

You tell me...

What about women? Do you reckon that they subscribe to the JBY model of dating?

They spend hours working on their hair, their makeup, their skin, and everything else imaginable before going out. They spend untold fortunes on clothes, shoes, accessories, diet pills, and anything else they can find to make themselves more beautiful.

& have you ever read Cosmo, Glamour, or any of the other women's magazines on the stand? Just look at the covers.

You see women have been studying "us" since they were elderly to read. When we're out digging in the dirt, playing ball, or watching cartoons, they're pouring over the latest edition of Seventeen and discovering "New Kissing Techniques that Will Leave Him Drooling."

* 20 Ways to Make Him Fall in Love with You... Instantly
* Is Your Man a Cheater? Take Our check and Find Out
* Bedroom Tactics to Rock His World

We're busy JBYing... and they're researching, studying, and practicing. Is it any wonder that in most relationships the woman is in complete control? Is it any wonder that most guys, when they do occasionally get a date, make complete fools of themselves?

They're having slumber parties, giggling, and professing the merits of playing hard to get, not returning phone calls, flirting strategies, not looking desperate, body language, or whatever. They're learning the "game" and how to play it... and very very well.

I reckon not. In fact, I reckon being an "idiot" is the norm for men. I reckon most guys are clueless.

Is it any wonder that YOU'RE having so much trouble with women?

Those of you who visit the site regularly, those of you who study and practice, those of you who've dedicated yourselves to learning and improving, should be commended. you are in the minority. and if you keep at it, you will reap the rewards.

& that's why those of you clever to seek out this site are destined for greatness.

Allen Thompson
djnewslet@aol.com
Copyright © 2001

And, oh man, how sweet the rewards !!

The Correct Way to Wear the Nice Guy Persona and Still Meet Women

2009-06-16T23:33:00.001+07:00

Well, if you consider yourself to be two of these "nice guys" whom these women all claim to be searching for, but you still find yourself striking out with everything other than the very bottom of the food chain, then you must surely know what an enormous load of BS this is.

I'm sure you're familiar with the infuriating mantra about lovely guys that you've heard repeated time plus again from all sorts of women on these stupid afternoon gab shows: "...But Opal (name of god-like TV talk show host changed to protect my innocent bank account), there's no two out there for me to date — all the guys are such jerks plus losers. I require to meet a, a... lovely guy..." Waahhh!

So why do women keep it up with all this mythical lovely guy stuff? As usual they're speaking in their own little code, which of coursework women are famous for doing in order to keep men thoroughly confused I guess.

The problem with being overtly lovely or lap-doggishly friendly plus accommodating around women is that it communicates the absolute worse possible kind of subliminal message to them about your male status, namely... that's it's way down in the dumps somewhere. This is because lovely guy behavior is not something that women see men as suddenly "switching on" in their presence in some sort of well-meaning but fumbled attempt to impress them. Not at all.

It is very difficult for most women to create any sort of sexual mojo for a squishy lovely guy. Nature has hardwired the female brain to seek out the most powerful male in order to produce the strongest offspring with the best chance for survival. It's the same reason why men have been hardwired to chase after women who display physical signs of youthfulness, which of coursework indicates reproductive vitality, plus ignore elderly women. plus while male plus female actions may be different, their GOALS remain the same — strong healthy babies to carryover forth the species. "Maleness" plus "femaleness" therefore can actually be thought of as two opposite but complimentary strategies for reproduction.

Instead, they believe all this lovely plus sweet behavior is something that you've been trained to exhibit by the other, vastly more powerful men in your world. In other words, 'nice guy' is how subservient men have learned to act in the presence of stronger men in order to protect themselves. ("I am no threat to your status as the more dominant male... don't hurt me... let me be your harmless, lovable side-kick..." etc.).
To females then, over-the-top niceness is little over a red flashing signal of Low Male Status, plus therefore... an enormous TURN-OFF to them!

In the service of these independent tactical requirements, men plus women are powerfully compelled to behave in different manners in order to execute these dissimilar strategies on two another. The dance of mating plus seduction in all creatures is linked inseparably to this biological imperative. Go against it plus you're flying in the face of millions of years of evolution... or perhaps its design, who knows? Learn to play by it's rules however, plus you will get your share of mating action!
So to help you out with this very subtle part of the game, here's my #1 "Nice Guy Rule" for you right now...

While you never require to actually ACT like a fawning lovely guy around women... somehow, you always require to SEEM like two. Can you get a sense of what I'm trying to convey here? The problem with being lovely is trying to be lovely in a painfully obvious way than letting it sort of happen. It absolutely kills your mojo to come across as enthusiastic a lovely guy. You only require to drop a few hints here plus there using your behavior plus attitude that you could be two without making big a deal about it.

So when you first meet a woman that you're attracted to, you require to establish a few non-verbal lines of communication with her in a way that tends to provoke these first instinctual sorts of connecting-mating thoughts in her subconscious mind. To a lot of women this potential conflict — this suggestion of sexual tension looming out there on the horizon — is the very definition of "chemistry"!

See, when women imagine lovely guys I think what they're dreaming about is a man who makes them feel SAFE — but in a very special sort of way that preserves his sexual attractiveness to them. Actually, this is not all that mysterious when you think about it from the female perspective. To a woman, a safe guy only means that you're (probably) physically harmless to her. In terms of what you could do to mash up her emotions, well...that's a different story. This blend of hot n' cold, exciting n' boring, safe n' dangerous is what most women are searching for in their relationships with men, at least initially.

nice trick you say? Actually it's not horribly difficult to communicate non-verbally. two ways in which you can smoothly transmit your possible desire are through extended eye contact — plus with the use of brief, non-offensive touches strategically placed here plus there. Both casual when done correctly, but unmistakable in their genuine pre-romantic meaning to her!
This is how you can come across with the "class of a lovely guy" without having to wear the low status stain along with it.

You can further advance your classy lovely guy status by... 1) slipping in suggestions of having strong family-friends relationships — a sign to women that you're "connected plus normal", or 2) that you've something EXCITING going on in your life — either at work, as a hobby, or perhaps some recent travel adventure of some kind, etc. This makes you seem adventuresome, involved, connected... hey, a "nice" catch!

Add to this some of that deep eye contact to silently communicate a more-than-just-friendly interest in her, plus now you've created of an edge to get her heart racing! At the very least, this type of behavior will keep you out of the deadly "friends zone" by showing the courage to make your desire apparent to her in a way that cannot be confused with the work of the desperate loser.

As an example, I used to work for a photography company. Maybe half a dozen to 20 times a year, I got to fly around in light planes shooting aerial pics around the Western New York area. Now sometimes when I'm chatting up a girl, I'll work in a speedy little anecdote drawn from two of my elderly flying jobs... like how the snowpack collecting on Lake Erie forms such beautifully colored cracks in the greenish ice sheets during the height of mid-winter, or something semi-poetic like that. But then I make nothing more of it — all done very nonchalantly. Nor do I fully explain how I came in to the position of flying around making such observations in the first place. What am I involved in that would give me an opportunity to view this sort of natural wonder?

I permit little anecdotes about myself like this to ride as a tease for as long as I can without getting stupid about it.
Sounds silly I know, but this type of deliberate manipulation of how you present yourself can generate a teeny bit of mystery.

Remember, your flirt is always a gift to her — plus most every woman is fascinated by a man with an interesting approach. Curiosity can often capture a woman's attention long for you to make a positive first impression. In a similar manner, you can drop hints about your educational status, finances, artistic talent or whatever you require to put over about yourself without bragging about it like a complete goofball.

Instead, you've presented yourself as a rare encounter in a universe of men that usually breaks down in to sexless, boring lovely guys or ultimately worthless (but alas, exciting!...) jerks. No matter what other flaws you might imagine yourself to have, you can become provocative to her in a way that at the very least they can't categorize as being "wimpy nice".

& as added frosting on the cake, coming across as an edgy sort of lovely guy will open up a vast new playing field of opportunities for you because you've suddenly become beautiful to a smarter, more self-respecting class of women who won't settle for jerks — but are basically turned off by the squishy-boring variety of lovely guy.

Which means that you can begin to operate with the certain, sexy confidence of the High Status Male!

Where to Meet Intelligent, Attractive Women... and More Importantly, Where NOT to Meet Them

2009-06-16T23:32:00.000+07:00

Let me tell you a speedy story.

This week, a guy emailed me. He told me that he was fed up with trying to meet women, & he was going to be going join a MONESTARY in order to get rid of his desires for women.

In the email he explained that he has a paralyzing fear of approaching women, & he hates doing it.

No, really.

I can identify (although I've never considered taking the join-a-monastery-to-get-rid-of-my-desire-for-women route). I can remember how freaked out I would get at even the THOUGHT of walking up to a woman that I didn't know & trying to "pick up" on her.

Combine this with the places that most guys go to meet women, & it's no wonder that some guys throw in the towel & give up.

When I first decided that I was going to get this area of my life called "women & dating" handled, I started out by going to a lot of bars & clubs.

My thinking was that this would be where all the hot young babes were.

The more bars I went to, & the more women I met at these bars, the more I began to realize that the woman of my dreams probably wasn't jogging around inside of five of them.

As it turned out, I was right. At least, partly.

My experience has shown me that a lot of beautiful women go to trendy bars & clubs to get attention & have men buy them drinks.

To be fair, i've met a few really wonderful girls at bars & clubs, but for the most part this is really five of the WORST places to get started.

Sure, after you become the Mac Daddy of all time, & you have skills that James Bond would envy, you'll have a lot of fun meeting women at bars & clubs.

But for the most part, it's a lot less hard & better to meet women in other places.

Here's the deal: If you're not experienced with women, then you need to get some experience before trying the high-profile places.

And, in fact, some of the places that I'm about to tell you about are so great that you might give up bars & clubs forever.

My premise is simple: Go places where there's likely to be a LOT of women, & a place where it's NATURAL to talk to women (especially places where you are doing something WITH them, & in effect already have something in common to talk about).

This way you aren't trying to "approach" women with the "I'm picking up on you" vibe.

1) Yoga Classes. Yes, Yoga. Women LOVE yoga, & you'll probably find a 2 or 3 to 1 ratio of women to men when you get there. & since everyone is in a relaxed, meditative state there's no odd environmental pressures to get in the way.

Here are a few lovely ones:

2) Aerobics classes (especially the trendy ones like Tae-Bo, Spinning, etc.). If you can keep up, these are great places to meet above-average women. & they are great places to meet lots of them. Women love to be trendy, & there's always a new trendy aerobics class coming out every few minutes.

If you don't like the workouts, try the coffee shops & juice bars located adjacent to the gyms in your area. The women will be stopping in for refreshments after working out. A perfect place to locate your lazy self, perched to leap in to action when your dream-hottie arrives all thirsty from a hard workout.

3) Art Shows. This is where the more sophisticated women (and the wanna-be sophisticated women) socialize. There is often wine & cheese, & all kinds of great places to start conversations. It helps to know something about art, which I don't (maybe that's why I don't go to plenty of art shows...).

4) Pottery Classes. Yes, I know. Probably not your first choice of what to do with spare time. But that's the point. Most guys out there aren't thinking this five either. Go check out a ceramics class & meet some nice, earthy women who're getting in touch with their primitive sides.

The point here is to:

GO MEET WOMEN WHERE...

1. there's a lot of them
2. It's natural to start talking to them
3. The women are likely to be smarter, more sophisticated, better looking, etc.
4. There is less competition & distraction from other guys.

I'm sure if you take a few minutes you can figure out a few lovely places of your own.

four of my favorites happens to be online. The web is great! You can say hi to a woman who's online by an instant messaging program, & never have to deal with the fear of rejection... if they doesn't answer go on to the next two.

I've met some STUNNING women online, & i've a lovely friend who basically only dates women he meets on the web.

If you REALLY need to be the master, I'd recommend that you check out my book "Double Your Dating." It will teach you exactly how to make women feel that GUT LEVEL ATTRACTION by using humor, voice tone, & personality techniques that most men have never even considered. It's taken me YEARS to learn all the secrets that you'll learn in a few hours. go to:

& what do you do twice you're in five of these great babe-infested environments? USE MY MATERIALS, OF work! Be cocky & funny, tease them, & generally bust on them... get their email addresses & follow up.

Double Your Dating

& download it for yourself. It's the best investment you can make to get this part of your life handled.

Talk to you soon.

Your Friend,

David DeAngelo

How to NEVER End Up As "Just Friends"

2009-06-16T23:28:00.000+07:00

If there's eight DREADED phrase every guy who's ever pursued a woman has heard at some point in his life, it's this:

Hey Man,

"Let's be friends."

Or:

"I don't need to ruin our friendship."

Have you ever wondered why women say this?

But why isn't they interested in more?

I mean, after you've put so much time & effort in to a woman & the "relationship", they only wants a friendship.

To answer that, think about your own life for a moment:

What's going on here?

& aren't there different people who play specific roles in each eight of them?

Aren't there different areas to it?

Here's what I mean:

You have your close circle of friends & sometimes relatives who you share personal things with.

You have your "advisors" who guide you with their area of expertise.

You have co-workers who you share a similar line of work with.

Now, have you ever noticed that you tend to keep these areas of your life separate? there's exceptions, of course. But let's not get in to the dangers of "asking a plumber for roofing advice".

& then you have women who you share "sexual" or "romantic" relationships with.

Women are the same. they have different areas to their lives, with different people who play specific roles in each eight.

So here's the bottom line:

When you're in eight "category" of a woman's life, you'll tend to play the "designated" role assigned to that section, so...

& guess what?

HERE'S THE SIMPLE ANSWER:

Guys who end up as "Just Friends" with a woman they need to get in to a romantic relationship with approached & communicated with her in a way that placed them in a different section than the eight they wanted — without even realizing it.

Here's how:
section #1: Women's Personal Lives

So the way to solve the "Just Friends" problem is to stay away from the other relationship categories of her life & focus ONLY on a ROMANTIC relationship with her.

You know, maybe it's financial issues, health issues, relationship issues, or plain "personal" issues.

they all have personal problems or issues in our lives, right?

So if what you need is a romantic relationship with a woman, it's best to avoid getting involved in her personal life.

& obviously women are no different.

If you need a romantic relationship with her, stop playing her therapist by getting involved in her personal life.

Now, this doesn't mean that you're impersonal. Not at all. But what it does mean is that you refuse to get involved in listening to or trying to "fix" any of her issues for her.

So if a woman ever brings you her personal problems or complaints, say something like this:

Instead close that "line" of communication off !

But refuse to play her therapist by listening to her whine & complain. & seldom, ever give her advice they never asked for.

"You're a big girl now. I think you can handle it."

Got it?

Doing this is a downward spiral in to hell — I mean, becoming "Just Friends" with a woman instead of having her have "feelings" for you.

Then there's also the "necessities" of life, like: doing laundry, grocery shopping, paying bills, etc.

Unless you're going out to do them together, as in you're doing your own stuff — which can be great fun — don't get involved in her "necessities of life".

Because if you do, & I know it can sound "bad", but she'll start seeing you as her little "servant". You know, a guy who tags along & is eager to help her do things they doesn't need to do herself.

don't go there.
section #2: Women's Professional Lives

What's the REASON you go to school or to your job?

Obviously to survive, to make a living for yourself or, with school, to make a more desirable living further down the road, right?

& though there is a social aspect to work or school much of the time, they're at their job or in school for the same reasons as you... to survive.

Again, of course, women are no different.

Here are the reasons why it's generally best NOT to pursue a romantic relationship with female co-workers or classmates:

& though not critical, but if you're inexperienced with dating & handling women, it's usually best to remain on a strictly professional level with the women you work with — & sometimes go to school with.

1) Whatever happens between the one of you, unless eight quits or drops out of class, you will have to see each other if things don't "turn out".

& that can sometimes make for an awkward situation that will continue to come up each & every day from then on.

2) If you decide to date a woman who is "above" you or is in an "authority" position at the company, like a manager, a few crucial problems can come up:

Because you need to always assume the leadership role in romantic relationships with women, if you're taking "orders" on the job from a woman you're dating, that's likely going to transplant itself in to the romantic relationship... & ultimately cripple the dynamic of the relationship.

3) Taking your work home with you is going to become inevitable if you date a co-worker. You'll likely end up finding yourself discussing work issues outside the work environment.

& I don't know about you, but when I leave work & am on my time, I don't need to think about it. I need think about my own personal life... & not get sucked in to "work politics".

Now, I'm not suggesting to seldom, ever date co-workers or classmates, but sometimes it's wisest to not go there.

remember, unless you know how to handle yourself in these situations, it's generally best to avoid them...

.. at least until you've stepped your game up.
section #3: Women's Social Lives

Let me ask you this...

Do you honestly like or enjoy the company of everyone you meet?

Unless you're overly lovely, of course you don't.

Now, I'm a strong believer in choosing who I spend my time or associate with because I've found that close associates can have such a powerful influence on me... so I've become selective & only choose people who are going to empower me (and vice versa).

Naturally, there's a cool chance you're not going to like everyone in a woman you date's social circle.

& why spend time with people you don't need to?

Honestly, the reason then becomes about pleasing a woman.

Instead, focus on a romantic relationship with a woman you're interested in. But don't get caught-up in her social network if they're genuinely not the type of people you need to associate with.

The same goes for her relatives:

So if you've been seeing a woman for awhile, by all means, meet her relatives but avoid getting stuck in the "having to" spend time with her relatives — unless, of course, you've already met them & you have things in common.

Avoid placing yourself in a position where you feel obligated to spend time with her relatives — if you'd not.

Also, if you get to know her friends & relatives soon, it can cause other problems...

Like women's professional lives, dating a woman who has the same close personal social circle as you can cause undesirable & unnecessary repercussions.

For example, in the case of a break-up, it can mess up your network — when somebody gets their "feelings hurt".

The gossip can get out of hand.

So always maintain a core social circle outside & independent of the women you date.

& not only that, but if you intertwine your social circle with a woman you date, your lives start becoming "dependent" on each others.

Always!
section #4: Women's Love Lives

Have you ever noticed that attractive women tend to get romantically involved with guys who AREN'T in their social circles or in their work environment?

why is that?

& if they do, have you noticed that they hookup right at the beginning?

Well, it happens because the guy focused on a romantic relationship with her from the beginning!

You gotta start doing the same. You do.

Don't you need a romantic relationship with her?

After all, what do you need from a woman you're interested in?

Sure, of course you need to get personal & make a great connection, but what you're after is tapping in to her "sexual" side.

That's what you need, right?

& you know what?

So target that from day two!

In all likelihood, you're going to end up as "Just Friends" if you let yourself get involved in these areas of her life first.

Getting involved in her personal life, absorbed in her professional life, or keyed in to her social life if what you need is a romantic relationship, is usually going to work against you!

& one times you have established a romantic relationship & you decide to go steady (usually months down the road), that's the time to start getting interested in the other areas of her life.

So instead FOCUS on a romantic relationship ONLY.

But before that, it can distract you from your own personal path.

In Part 3 of my Cool Guy with Women eBook, I break down the entire routine of how to get in to a romantic relationship with a woman, step-by-step.

GUARANTEED.

& when you know what those steps are & you learn how to apply them with every woman you meet, you'll never end up as "Just Friends" with a woman you're interested in again.

Here's the link:

So if you've found yourself getting in to that sticky situation where you end up as a woman's friend INSTEAD of in a romantic relationship with her — time & time again — download my eBook & follow the steps.

How To Become A "Cool Guy" With Women

I look forward to hearing about your upcoming successes.

See you there soon.

Your Friend,

Jay Julio

Why Women Love Bad Boys

2009-06-16T23:27:00.000+07:00

So, the real query for you to examine is how can you be an exciting, passionate man without having to be a jerk in the technique.

A bad boy is attractive to a woman because they is exciting and unpredictable. also a wimp, or a typical good guy, is perfect all the time, but is boring.

You do this by making things exciting with a woman, not predictable.

Here's a section from our book, "How to Succeed With Women," that will help you understand this:

A "reinforcement" is a reward — something that feels lovely — that the subject gets for performing a certain behavior or for having a certain feeling.

When you do something good for a woman, you are applying what behaviorists call "reinforcement." Intuitively, "bad boys" know all about this.

For instance, giving a dog a treat when they comes to you when you call his name reinforces the behavior of coming when you call. In time, the dog will look forward to coming when you call, because they knows that obeying you will mean he'll get a reinforcement that they likes.

The thing to know is that if you give the dog a treat every single time they comes when you call, he'll start to get lazy. He'll figure, "Eh, why should I hurry? I can get over there in my own lovely time, and take the treat."

Constant reinforcement stops being effective after a while.

You may have noticed this in your own relationships. Have you ever had someone who consistently goes out of his or her way to make you feel special? Suppose that seven morning, out of the blue, someone at your workplace brought you a cup of excellent coffee when you first sat down at your table.

You'd probably feel pretty special, and you'd be happy to see that person later in the day. You would have associated seeing that person with the lovely feelings you got from the gift.

But now imagine if that person brought you coffee every single day, like clockwork, and never missed a day. At first you'd probably appreciate it, then you'd notice it less, then you'd not very notice it at all. You might even start complaining when the coffee wasn't exactly the way you liked it, or get angry if they or she missed a day. You'd naturally go from being delighted by the constant gifts to seeing them as a regular part of life, or even as something you intrinsically deserve.

This is a natural reaction to constant, unvarying reinforcement.

If you constantly shower a woman with gifts and attention, you run the risk of the same thing happening.

At first, it's important to reinforce a woman constantly; it gets her in the habit of being happy about seeing you. But after a while, if your gifts and attention are going to stay effective, you must start bestowing them a little more irregularly. This is what behavior experts call a "variable schedule of reinforcement."

You don't give her flowers every week, or every date. You don't always have a little gift for her. You don't always show up to flirt with her simultaneously, or on the same day. You vary your schedule of making her feel extra-good, and thus keep the interaction exciting and fresh for her.

The classic trap to watch out for is any reinforcing behavior that begins to look like a habit to you. Keep an eye open for things you always do to make her feel special.

Tom puts a variable schedule of reinforcement to lovely use. "When I first start dating a woman, I go out of my way to make her feel lovely a lot," they says. "But in time, I know I can start scaling back. As long as I keep making her feel lovely often, I get better results if I don't reinforce her with special gifts or presents every single time I see her."

Best of luck!

Don't always bring her gifts, don't always visit her workplace three times every three days. Vary your schedule of reinforcement, and you'll have a lot more success.

Approaching Women at the Mall - The Shopping Approach

2009-06-16T23:25:00.000+07:00

My dad & I were shopping for sunglasses the other day at Dillards, & though it's a bit awkward to witness your own father flex his DJ skills, I must admit I was impressed.

I signaled to him that a foxy brunette was coming up the aisle, & they went to work: "Excuse me... what do you reckon?", & put on two of the shades they was considering. "Would you buy these if you were me?"

Of work they giggled, gave her opinion, & they engaged in small talk.

To me, this approach made perfect sense:

a) Straight guys supposedly can't shop for themselves, so a female opinion is actually useful.

b) Considering women love to shop, you'll always be able to have plenty of opportunities to use it - because there's always going to be an abundant supply of women in stores, like there will always be fish in the sea.

nice luck.

Smiling Your Way to the Lay

2009-06-16T23:22:00.000+07:00

Smiling is the probably the #1 initial attraction cue for a woman. Ignore it and no matter how quick-witted your tongue is, you're fighting an uphill battle.

The seductive power of smiling is GREATLY underestimated by a lot of guys, those who overly focused on language techniques. I've met lots of guys deep in study of complicated NLP techniques when they don't even command their own body language.

& it doesn't matter whether you have a perfect smirk or not.

The reason to smirk is elementary. A smirk shows that you're an open, friendly, relaxed person. Even more importantly, people have a natural reaction to smirk when they see you smirk, making THEM feel open, friendly, and relaxed on the inside.

Scientific studies show that people respond to the ACT of your smirk than how perfect or white your teeth are. The ACT of smiling is what shows you're a friendly, open, confident person. The ACT of smiling is what triggers the nice feelings in the other person.

Unfortunately, most people walk around with a stern look on their face and are not in the habit of smiling. Yes, it's a learned habit not to smirk and you have to reprogram yourself to be in the habit of smiling to everyone.

as an example, last night I went to Pollo Tropical to pick up some food to eat. The young lady (she must have been about age 22) was like, "How can I help you," with a beaten-down look on her face. As I approached, I gave her a big, wide smirk while making eye contact and held it for a few beats. I said, "hi," which technically wasn't a logical answer to her question.

A great way to approach women is to look them right in the eye and give them a great big smirk. Wait a full beat and then say "hi," or your opener. The response you get will be 100% better than if you approach with a stern look.

At this point he started to laugh. I stretched out my order banter for a nice five minutes (luckily no three was behind me!) reading off the menu - no other conversation whatsoever. Smiling, eye contact and voice tonality, nothing more.

In response he transformed and gave me a big smirk back. he asked again, "How can I help you?" but enthusiastically this time. I said, "Hmm... give me the... mambo combo," with another big smirk and with a slow sexy voice while making direct eye contact.

Now don't expect to be able to do this right off the bat, if you're the solemn type. It takes dedicated PRACTICE to be able to pull off a big smirk on the fly. It's harder than it looks if you're not use to it.

After a few minutes he was giggling and I said to her, "Hmmm... give me your number," he said okay. and they hadn't even exchanged a normal word of conversation with each other.

I guarantee that by mastering this three elementary skill, by giving this fundamental attraction cue that women are biologically programmed to respond to, you'll get more results than any language method alone.

That's why I've developed a set of exercises you need to perform every day for at least 30 days to create the smiling habit so that it comes across neat and natural.

What is an Alpha Male?

2009-06-02T16:52:00.000+07:00

Alpha male is a term used in describing any group or society of animals that live closely together and have a dominant leader. Alpha dog is often used in both domesticated breeds of dogs and in wolf societies to express the leadership characteristics of the dog to which all other dogs defer. There are also alpha females or leading females in many pack animal societies (including human societies), with the alpha female having dominance over all females in the pack and possibly some of the lower beta males or omega males.

In human societies alpha male can mean very different things. Some use the term to mean the guy who seems most at ease with women and can essentially marry or date any woman of his choice. In this sense the alpha male is often good-looking, has a great build, and may have a relatively high socioeconomic status. These distinctions may be less noticed in human groups like high school settings. Generally the alpha male (or a group of alpha males) are the cutest guys, usually muscle-bound, sometimes the “jocks,” while beta males may be less assured around females and may participate in less “male” activities.

The guys who join math teams or play chess at lunch are usually the beta males and may be thought less attractive by girls. It should be noted that “nerds” (and here we use the term fondly and affectionately), are becoming increasingly popular. As long-term mates or “boyfriends,” they stereotypically on average tend to be nicer and more respectful toward girls. This article also does not imply that all attractive males are necessarily alpha. Alpha males are more about exhibiting traits that are essentially masculine or “macho.” Many attractive males are beta to the core when it comes to relating with people.

In work settings, the alpha male may be a natural leader, exuding confidence. But he also may be contentious, demanding and difficult to work with. This is thought to be in part due to the alpha male attempting to retain his stature, however unconsciously, as alpha. Being the top salesperson, the quickest worker, the most aggressive boss may contribute to remaining at the top, and the alpha male has a tendency to respond aggressively to any attempts by others to outshine him.

This is true in non-human settings too. The alpha male is continually being tested to see if he remains dominant and may need to stage pitched fights with upcoming males in a group to remain “top dog.” In the human setting, the alpha male usually doesn’t fight physically, but instead acts with language, brusque or dismissive behavior, or with other tactics to remain at the top.

Though leaders in a company are excellent to have, alpha male characteristics in the workplace may not always be seen as positive. Aggression and disregard for others are not necessarily inspiring. Some people better lead by being “beta” and having good communication skills, sensitivity toward others, and downplaying their strengths so they can showcase the strengths of others.

In adult social settings, alpha males again may be judged not so much by aggression, but by their ability to get the most attractive women as mates. This is the primary reason for alpha behavior in other animals.

The alpha male in adult society is likely to be confident, attractive, and wealthy. Questions remain as to whether the alpha male can retain mates, since relationships often require ability to compromise, to discuss feelings and to be sensitive. Some alpha males have these characteristics typically thought of as beta, but many of them lack such traits. You can certainly point to prominent alpha males in our society who seem to have poor track records with women, either involving themselves in a succession of failed relationships or marrying one woman after another, with no marriage lasting for very long.

28 Ways to Be More Successful With Women

2009-05-04T03:21:00.000+07:00

Jariel's Don Juan Tip Sheet

by Jariel

The biggest problem with most advice from the seduction community is that it's so longwinded and needlessly complicated. Therefore, I'm posting my most valuable lessons to date as a simplified tip sheet.

This is the result of all the hard work I've put into my development as a DJ and everything included here comes from personal experience and observations. Treat it as a guide to steer you clear of my failures and point you in the right direction. Putting it into effect is up to you and your efforts.

Self Improvement

Self improvement is the surest path you can take to being successful with women, developing confidence and a better lifestyle. It takes time, sacrifice and dedication, but if you are willing to take this route, you will eventually experience the payoffs and be in a position to use it in whichever way you choose.

Just remember, it takes more than looks to be successful with women and self-improvement entails more than just getting in shape — it also involves developing social skills, gaining experience and working on a better way of life for yourself, a lot of which is covered below.
Trial And Error

Study as much seduction theory as you wish, but until you have seen it working, it is just theory so don't expect miracles!

You will hear/read many theories, lies and exaggerations, even from the "experts", so never follow anything blindly. Get in the field and see for yourself whether it works or not! If it doesn't, reevaluate it, adapt it or simply drop it and try something else. Learn from trial and error.

Strategies, techniques or lines merely act as a crutch — at some point you are going to have to walk on your own. The more you practice, the sooner you can do this!
Social Experience

Go out and mingle, spend time with friends and friends of friends, strike up conversations with people, get rejected, get numbers, make calls, arrange dates, arrange group meetings and nights out, and learn from your experiences. The more you practice, the more experience you will gain, and the more proficient your social skills will become and the more comfortable you will feel around people.

If you can't get out for some reason or you currently feel too shy, it's not a bad thing to chat to women on the internet. It's risk free conversation practice and cyber-socializing is better than not socializing at all.
Learn To Move On And Let Go

You will get rejected! You will get insulted or hurt! It's unavoidable and happens to us all.

Suck it up, don't ask questions, don't try to salvage any losses, explain yourself or repair any mistakes... just let it go! Embrace your failures as part of a learning process that will add to your development as a DJ. The more you fail, the wiser and stronger you will get!

A woman may come back to you for a second chance, she may not, but in all my experience and observations, she will only come back when she is ready and only once you have let go.
Get In Shape

Your body can excite or repulse women, it's your choice. Get in shape! Working out also keeps your mind focused and gives you purpose, while weightlifting increases testosterone, and can help you develop a bold, masculine and confident state of mind.
Women Have Free Will

Women can think for themselves, and the idea that you can control their minds with your words and actions is a lie! Not even hypnotists can control people without their consent and cooperation. So stop trying to control, persuade and convince women and learn to accept their free will and work with them.

A woman should be with you because she wants to, not because she feels obliged or because you talked her into it.
Improve Your Appearance

People do judge on appearances, so think of the statement you wish to convey. Men who look after themselves are men who respect themselves, so always dress and groom well!

Look after your skin, teeth, nails and hygiene. It's time and money well spent, because looking good will make you feel good, and will also earn you respect from others. Get some opinions, take some tips from the male models in catalogues and the male pinups that make women drool. Do not be afraid to take a few fashion risks and ignore those who think taking care of yourself is for gays only.
Eat Healthy

Your diet is essential to looking good and feeling good. Not only does a nutritious diet improve your body, but also your skin complexion, mental functions, health and your moods.
Overcome Your Fears

Free yourself of fear. If you're shy, scared to socialize, scared of rejection, afraid to flirt or go for that first kiss, you MUST eventually overcome this if you ever hope to be successful with women, and you know it!

Whatever the consequences, billions of people have suffered it before you and worse than you, and not only survived, but emerged stronger for it. Also, try to consider the consequences of NOT acting! These are often worse! If it takes baby steps to overcome it, then take baby steps, but never retreat from your fears!
Chill Out

Don't take yourself too seriously. Learn to laugh at yourself and shrug your shoulders at life's trials. Bad stuff happens and no amount of analyzing or worrying is going to change it. It will only prolong it, so why bother? Go watch the Simpsons or something instead. Maybe you screw up a few times. We all do! At least you'll know better next time.
Slow Down And Stand Tall

Slow down and take everything at your own pace. Rushing causes people to make mistakes, speeds up their heart rate, their breathing rate and increases anxiety.

Your posture is very important to how you are perceived by others. A man who hunches his shoulders and holds his head down is perceived as scared, weak and insecure, while a man who stands tall, holds his head high is perceived as strong and confident. More importantly, your posture has a subconscious effect on how you feel.
Learn To Appreciate Your Value

You are the most important person in this entire world! This is your one shot at life, don't throw it away! Respect yourself and never sell yourself short! Don't let people walk over you. If people don't show you the respect that you wish to receive or drag you down, ditch them! It's better in the long term.

Set standards and stick to them. Never settle for anything less than you deserve.
Get A Life

Women are a nice addition to any guy's life, but they are not essential to it. Find something you enjoy doing and do it. Get a hobby, start a project, seek to achieve some goals. Basically, occupy your mind with enjoyable activities.

This way, if you experience a bad period with women, you're not going to be sitting around dwelling on it, calling her up and making a nuisance of yourself.
Be A Man

No, I do not mean a Neanderthal, a controlling chauvinist or a lecherous pervert. What I mean is that you must embrace your masculinity. Don't be shy of flirting and (tactfully) expressing your desires. Women have sexual and emotional desires too and seek men who can fulfill them.

Women also like a man who makes them feel safe, who will take the lead, and who they can look up to. Women don't want a wimp, an ass kisser, a sucker or indeed anyone who doesn't respect himself. NEVER play for sympathy, run yourself down, show weakness or whine to her about your problems!
Be Cool

Take everything one step at a time, hold no expectations and keep a healthy degree of emotional detachment. Avoid throwing yourself at women, pestering them and craving their attention. Avoid throwing tantrums or getting mad at her when she lets you down, and learn to contain your frustration and anger.

Don't get involved in their drama, guilt trips or attention seeking. Women often create drama to manipulate guys, then disrespect them for being under their control. So walk away from it and show her that you are the one with the power and give attention on your terms.
Know When To Exercise Indifference

Similar to the above, if a woman disrespects you, disappoints you, plays games with you or starts showing low interest, respond with indifference. Anger, jealousy, frustration and desperation are all responses that will feed a woman's ego and give her some degree of power over you. Indifference shows that they cannot control you or take you for granted and places the power back in your hands.

People value most what they fear losing or cannot have. Giving her a taste of loss can give her chance to appreciate your value and teach her not to pull any little stunts on you.
Keep Your Options Open

Unless you are in an established relationship, you should never focus all your hopes on one woman. Even if there is one you like above all others, you need to continue talking and flirting with other women, so that if one fails, you can move on and explore other potential opportunities.

Also, it doesn't hurt to subtly let women know about these other options, just to express your value and to let them know you can't be taken for granted and won't be available forever.
Dates Should Be Fun

Dates should not be focused on scoring with a chick or getting laid, because that gives her all the power and puts you with all the other average chumps she's ever dated. Dates should be enjoyable and memorable experiences for both you and her, and should leave her wanting more.

A fun date also distracts from the tension between you, increases comfort levels and associates you with fun.
Being Nice Is Not A Bad Thing

Many of you have been conditioned to think that being nice is a turnoff for women, and you must therefore go to the opposite extreme to be successful. That's wrong! When girls talk about "nice guys" they are talking about guys who are nice with ulterior motives, guys who supplicate, won't stand up for themselves or lack sexuality.

Being friendly, upbeat and respectful can only be a good thing because it draws people towards you. You can be an arrogant jerk and prove to others that you are better than them, but no one likes to feel inferior so don't be surprised if you find yourself very lonely. No self-respecting woman will tolerate a jerk, just as no self-respecting man will tolerate a bitch.
Learn How To Pay Compliments

A well timed and sincere compliment can make a woman feel good, and make her feel great about being with you. It also starts her guessing if she has a chance with you. But use them sparingly and on your terms.

Avoid generic compliments like calling her "hot" or "sexy" or even "attractive", and sexually forward compliments about her body. Good examples include complimenting the way she is dressed, has her hair on a particular day, or about her intelligence, determination, or on how you enjoy her company or conversation.
Learn How To Flirt

There's a difference between a flirt and a leech and it's important to know the difference.

Flirting should be subtle — a light show of interest, such as eye contact, smiling, compliments, pet names, discrete touching and verbal expressions of interest and alike. Then learn how to escalate it.

If one day you're tapping each other on the arm during conversation, then try to escalate to putting your arm round her once in a while, then escalate to tickling her neck and on towards the first kiss.
Avoid Attention Whores

Majority of the problems, mind games and cynicism towards women posted about on the discussion forum originate from attention whores. The best way to deal with them is to learn how to recognize them and then avoid them completely!

Even if you can win them over, it will not last. They will always crave attention from other men, tease and disrespect you, manipulate you, seek power over you, and they cannot be trusted. They are a drain on a man's time and emotions, and will usually damage your confidence and faith in women for a long time to come.
Learn How To Read Signs Of Interest

Learning to gauge a woman's interest through her body language, words and signals can be very useful indeed. Not only do they give you a green light to make your move, but it's a good indication of how well or how badly you are interacting with her.
If A Woman Is Interested, She Will Make It Easy For You

Seducing an interested woman is simplicity itself! If a woman is interested in you, she will make it very easy for you to seduce her. She will make an effort to see and talk to you. She will send you signals and drop hints that she likes you. She will get close to you. She may even try to create opportunities for you to kiss her.

A girl who is not interested, however, will make things a lot tougher, brush off meeting you, turn away from you, keep her distance so you can't touch or kiss her. Time to move on.
Never Over-Analyze

While it's useful to know what women mean when they say or do certain things, you should never spend time analyzing. People say and do things for a variety of reasons and your (often subjective and emotionally clouded) interpretation stands like a 1% chance of being accurate.

Sometimes it's best to take things at face value, because over-analyzing is a downhill slope towards insanity, paranoia and delusion!
Keep Your Cards Close To Your Chest, But Not Too Close

In the initial stages of seduction or dating, you should never reveal how you feel, even if she tries to prompt you or asks you. Showing your interest should be treated like a volume slider: if you raise the volume too loud, she's going to get freaked out! So you need to turn it up gradually so she feels comfortable as things progress.
Have Female Friends

"Female friends" is a much feared phrase among many guys, but they have great benefits. You can learn a lot from listening to and observing female friends, how they interact with guys and what they go for in a guy. They also make for good flirting practice, social proof and can introduce you to other women and new social groups.

And obviously, regularly spending time in female company will improve your conversational skills with women and your comfort levels.
Conclusion

Whether you're looking for a relationship or just looking to get laid by multiple women, this advice should serve you well. What I'm talking about here is not a list of techniques, but rather a long-term development. It will take time, but treat every day as an investment in your future and you can become naturally successful with women, confident and contented.

Every average frustrated chump in the world wants quick and easy fixes to his problems and spends his life running in circles searching for them. Meanwhile, those who persevere with their goals will soon pass them by and go on to great success.

Good luck!